


Through The Looking Glass

by rsfahrudeen



Series: Song of Sabriel [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Mirrorverse, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-10-27 13:00:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 57
Words: 179,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10809537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rsfahrudeen/pseuds/rsfahrudeen
Summary: In a different thread of reality, Lucifer was not the angel who took the mark. When the one who did, tries to exchange him with his mirror counterpart, things do not go as planned.





	1. Happy anniversary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. I had writers block but I should be back to a chapter a day now (fingers crossed)

         "You wanted to see me?" the nightingale stands before the bringer of dawn.

         "I did. Yes." The most beautiful of all angels reaches out to his younger sibling, but she steps back. "How are you?"

         "I'm alive. I'm free. There's not exactly much else to say." She crosses her arms. "Does she know you're here? With me?"

         "You know she doesn't." The shining star shakes his head. "Come home, sister. Please. Repent and beg forgiveness. We can make things right again."

         "No we can't. You can't. Things went wrong that we can't take back. You know that. I won't be caged and I won't be separated from him. I can't survive without him."

        "You can if I take it from you." Heaven's darling points out not for the first time. "You don't have to bear this burden. You don't need to suffer this way." The nightingale laughs with deep bitterness.

        "This thing is the only reason I'm still alive." She holds up her arm displaying the mark. The sight always makes her brother cringe even if only a little. "You know damn well she'd kill me without hesitation the second she learned I didn't have it anymore."

        "I would never let her hurt you, paseh." He insists, deluding himself, the arrogant brat.

       "No, you wouldn't let her. But she'd still do it anyways." The angel shakes her head. "You know you're no match for her."

       "Sometimes I am." He protests, rather weakly.

       "I'm not risking my existence on 'sometimes' niisan." She retorts. "Anyway, I don't want to go back to heaven. It's just a bigger cage and no fun at all. You really don't know what you're missing." She smiles at him, suddenly embracing him. "Come with me, take your vessel and come and play with me. I could show you so many things. We could have so much fun together just like we used to and better. I have my own place, my own souls, tons of them. You just don't know how wonderful it is down there. So much fun and laughter and pleasure to be had."

       "I know." He gives her a patronizing kiss on the forhead. "I miss you, but I will never forsake heaven. Not even for my favorite song. I'm sorry."

       "I miss you more." She breaks away and takes a breath. "Won't you reconsider?"

       "No, paseh." is the soft reply that further rends her heart.

       "Fine. I have to go. It's my anniversary."

       "You are always welcome home. Heaven's not the same without you." He reminds her. But despite the fact he thinks he can speak for all of heaven, she knows better.

       "Goodbye, Helel." She pushes away and takes off, returning to earth, leaving her mournful brother behind her. The journey back is uneventful, no one follows her, or even tries. Not that she expects anyone to. Her brother is very good at sneaking away to see her. But he only has to screw it up once and she's caught. No one calls to her, or attacks her either. It's almost disappointing.

        The hall is actually empty when she returns instead of bounding with music and revelers as it usually does. Not that she's in the mood for a decadent hedonistic horde of condemned human souls at the moment. But the lack of them magnifies the emptiness, the loneliness inside her that will not go away. The mark on her arm burns so badly in those moment.

        "Oh, uh, hello." A woman stammers walking out of the bedroom. Their bedroom. "Are you Bree?" She asks nervously. The nightingale gives her a curt smile and snaps her fingers turning the woman into a poppy, growing out of a crack in the floor.

       "Bree!" Her husband is at the door as she steps on the flower, grinding it into the floor.

       "I told you, if you want to keep your little playthings alive, I can't know they even exist." She pats his cheek. He angrily grabs her wrist.

       "She wasn't a lover. She was an estate dealer helping me to locate your anniversary present."

       "Oh, Woopsie." She laughs. "Sorry, Did I ruin it?"

       "No. She was returning the key to the storage locker they delivered it to." But he still doesn't look happy.

       "I'm sorry." She apologizes again, though they both know she isn't. "Really, I am.  I wasn't thinking. I'll tell you what." Bree puts her arms around his neck. "Not only will I ask first and smite later, but the next boy or girl you take a shine to, I'll leave alone completely until you're done with her. Better?"

        "Bree, there is never, has never been any boy or girl who has ever meant to me what you do. I love you. You are my one and only." He attempts to reassure her.

        "Prove it." She demands so he kisses her, carrying her into the bedroom.

 

        Bree stands in the half empty bunker, artfully arranging the furnishings.

        "Are you sure you want her doing this?" She overhears the spy asking her hubby.

        "I'm sure I don't, but if she doesn't at least get to try it will eat at her even more. And, as always, it's better for all involved if I help her. You know this. And as always, your job is to help protect her. Do not let me down." Awww. He's such a good angel.

        "I will fulfill my duties."

        "See that you do."

        She positions the mirror facing the bed, careful not to let the cloth covering the face of it fall. The walls are sufficiently warded. The cuffs are in place. The bed made and nice and comfy, a fresh coat of paint. Now, time to go get the guest of honor. Where is the brave little soldier? Probably at another meeting. He's been going to more and more meetings lately.

         "Hello?" She reaches the alley near the NA meeting to see him answer his phone.  "Yeah, I just got out. No, I was thinking I'd go to a bar, get drunk, try to score some dope... Yes. I'm being sarcastic! I'm going back home. Jesus, will you just... no I don't want a goddamn police escort, sheriff. And don't call mom. I just want to walk... yes, I understand... Seriously? Okay, 'Dad', I understand that if I'm not home in an hour you're sending a car out for me or worse... You know what? No, how about this? I'll take as long as I want to get home and if you ever send anything out after me I'm going to go join one of those private security firms that have been making offers.... Why? Because I am a grown man who can take a damn walk if I please and if you don't back the fuck off I'm going to have to shoot something and if you don't want it to be 'up' or you, then that'll be my only other option." The poor little soldier hangs up and throws the phone against the wall across the alley.

          "Everything okay, Mule?" The last person leaves the meeting place, locking the door behind him.

          "Yeah." He brushes his hands back through his almost non existent hair, He'll need to get another hair cut soon. "Just... talking with my big brother."

           "How is the sheriff?"

           "Bossy, controlling, over protective, holier than thou. You know, the usual?"

           "He loves you, you know. That's why he's checking up on you. He's trying to help you." The man pats the soldier's shoulder. "He's not doing it right, but his heart's in the right place."

          "Yeah, I'm sure it is. It always is. He's good, always right, never drinks, never takes drugs, never gets in a fight he doesn't win. I don't want to talk about my perfect brother, thanks. I just want to walk home and go to bed and... and I don't know."  The look the guy gives him indicates that he knows the soldier does know and that maybe he should think about that some more.

          "You have your sponser's number? If you need to call him on the way home, can you?"

          "Yeah. I can... I can get ahold of him pretty much any time." They both look to the broken phone. "I have more." Is the rather unconvincing reply.

          "Are you sure you don't want a ride home?" The man asks one more time.

          "I'm sure. I'll be fine." The soldier gives a sigh. "I'll see you tomorrow." He starts walking, waving back to the man as he goes.

          "See you tomorrow, Mule."

          Bree follows him down the street, waiting until they're all alone. Sure she could have just killed anyone else there but that would put the vessel on high alert.

          The tall soldier stops as something brushes his shoulder. He looks around, but nothing is there. A few more steps and something tickles the back of his neck. He whips out his gun and turns, but still nothing is there. Bodiless laughter echos through the empty streets making his blood run cold.

          "Gotcha." The nightingale whispers in his ear, grabbing hold of him, and spirits him away.

 

           "Wakey wakey eggs and bakey!" She wiggles his big toe. He slowly opens a hazel eye and looks around, pulling at his hands as he feels the restraints on his wrists. "Hello darling. Long time no see." She sits down next to him.

           "What do you want?" He asks, looking slightly frightened, but not as frightened as he should be.

           "Fun, happiness, an all around good time. And I kind of want my brother to have all that, too. You know." She traces a finger down his leg. "But he won't you know, he's so completely and utterly under his big sister's thumb it's pathetic. Not like you. You're your own man. Or at least you're trying to be." She gives a sigh and traces the scars on his stomach. "I'd hoped that maybe you'd rub off on him at least a little, but noooo. Just as disgustingly codependantly responsible as he always was. No fun. No games. No laughter. Can you imagine? A life without laughter?"

           "I could use a little less laughter in my life to be perfectly honest." The sassy thing replies.

           "Oof. Owch." She puts a hand to her chest. "Was it really so bad? Didn't we have fun? Didn't you have fun? Didn't you enjoy yourself? I know you did. And didn't you feel free for the first time? No orders, no rules, no limits, just... whatever you wanted. Whatever I wanted..."

           "You were using me." He speaks after a moment.

           "So? You were using me. You still enjoyed it. You enjoyed me. I enjoyed you too." The nightingale reminds him. "You love him don't you? Your darling angel." the stubborn thing doesn't reply, which is reply enough. "I know you do. Everyone does. I do, more than anything. We can't help it. He's just... made to be loved. Doesn't he deserve to know a little of those wonderful pleasurable experiences we shared together? Doesn't he deserve to be happy?" She coos, moving her hand up to his cheek. She always loved the feel of his stubble, she's not sure why.

           "I'm not calling for him." The smart thing guesses what she wants of course, though not exactly why. "No matter what you do, I won't call, I won't let him in." The appropriately nicknamed mule sets his jaw. "I don't care if you kill me, I'm not falling for your tricks this time."

            "Kill you? Why would I kill you? What would be the point?" She laughs moving back to get something from beside the mirror. "Oh, no. I'm not going to kill you. I'm not going to let you die, no matter how much you beg me. See, there's more than one way to have fun. Taking things apart is just as much fun as putting them together." She takes off her robe and reveals a strappy black leather and metal lingerie. "I'm going to take you apart and put you back together again over and over until you give me what I want.

             The nightingale kneels at the foot of the bed and traces a line across the bottom of his foot with her fingernail, tickling him. He pulls his leg back and kicks her as hard as he can, which wouldn't have much effect if not for the slipperiness of her stockings and the satin sheets. She actually falls off balance, grabbing for the nearest hand hold automatically, pulling the cloth off the mirror just as she's face to face with the glass.

             "Oh fuck." She swears as it shatters before her, breaking her image into a million pieces.

             Bree hears the soldier laughing behind her. Unbelievable.

             "Don't worry. I didn't really like that one anyway." She turns back to see him out of the cuffs and smiling at her. Everythings different. There are pictures on the wall, the air is cleaner, the sheets are dirtier, he's not quite the same either. His hair is longer for one thing and there's a wedding ring on his finger. "Babe, you okay?" He asks looking concerned at her confused expression.

              "I'm fine." She says cautiously, the wards are still set up. Though she's warded against lesser angels now too? She doesn't remember doing that. And where did that small stuffed bear come from? "What's this doing here?" She grabs it.

             "Oh, I promised Shelly I'd give it an exorcism. She refused to believe she just had a nightmare. Here, let me put it back." He takes it from her and places it back on the wobbly chalk drawn demon trap on the dresser. Even if it was possessed that thing wouldn't hold it. "Just ignore it." The soldier walks back over to her. "I know." He concedes at her expression. "But it's not like we can just say demons aren't real. Not that it would have worked anyway. But you know," He shrugs and sits on the bed beside her. "You still sure you want to do this here?"

               "Is there any reason I shouldn't?" She looks him over, unsure as to what the hell is going on.

               "Are you alright?" He reaches up to put a hand gently on her cheek. Something he hasn't done since he learned who she was. "Babe?"

               "You keep calling me that. Are you?" she frowns at him.

               "Do you prefer Gabrielle tonight?" He asks. "You know you need to tell me when we're starting a new game or roleplay in the bedroom, remember?" He rubs his eyes. "Anyways I was thinking we could just go fairly vanilla tonight." She just raises an eyebrow. "Oh don't give me that look. You know I'll make it worth your while." He gives her a flirty grin. "Happy anniversary, Mrs. Winchester."

 

             

 


	2. A day in the park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shelly spends the day with her aunts and uncles in the park.

         Luci sits on the park bench taking a break as Shelly plays with her Uncle Dean at the playground. Children are exhausting. He can't believe Michael wants one of these full time. At least with neices and nephews they can give them back when they're done.

          "Hey," he nods to his little brother as Raphael sits down on the bench beside him. "How's Alex doing?"

          "She made me leave the apartment. Apparently I'm driving her insane. I took courage so she can rest." He has the leash held in his hand, not that Courage needs it. The miniature wolf runs over to greet Shelly who hugs and pets him immediately.

          "Don't take it personally. Pregnancy can do weird things to people. Though you know you're being absurdly overprotective. Especially given you removed your grace before making the little parasite." Luci rolls his eyes.

           "I AM NOT!" They look over to see the little three year old stomp her feet.

           "Yep, you got it from your mother. She's one too." The hunter teases. Shelly scowls and storms over to her uncles.

           "Helel, Uncle Dean called me a strange duck!" She points accusingly back at the human.

           "Okay? And you want me to..." Luci prods.

            "Kill him!"

            "Sorry, kiddo, I can't. I'm on probation. You'll just have to kill him yourself." He pats her head. She just sighs and crosses her arms, glaring at the ground.

            "Nobody is killing anyone." Raphael says firmly. "Did you tell him you don't like that?"

            "Yes! A million bajillion times!"

            "Come here." Luci picks her up and puts her on his lap. "Here listen carefully, the next time anyone calls you a strange duck, just say..." He whispers something in her ear.

            "What does that mean though?" Shelly asks, ever careful about not accidentally repeating profanities, thanks to several repeated time outs.

            "It means you're special, so of course he doesn't understand you. You're not weird, my little song. He's just an idiot." Luci tweaks her nose.

            "Daddy says I'm not supposed to call people stupid." Shelly sighs.

            "You aren't. You're implying it. It's okay. You won't get in trouble for saying this. I promise. If you do, just tell them it's my fault."

            "Okay. Thank you, Helel." she gives him a hug and kisses his cheek.

            "We're in public honey, call me Aunt Luci remember?" He puts her back down and sends her on her way when she nods.

            "Thank you, Aunt Luci."

            "What did you tell her to say?" Raphael gives him a sideways glance.

            "Nothing bad. You'll see."

            "Did she actually just ask you to kill her uncle because he called her a strange duck?" He would focus on that part.

            "Hyperbole." Luci rolls her eyes. "Oh no, not the swings. Didn't anyone tell him?" He quickly gets up and heads over as Dean starts to push the girl on the swings.

            "Higher! Higher!" She pleads.

            "No, not higher!" Luci calls coming near. "I'd better not see you jump, little girl."

            "Nah, she wouldn't do that." Dean pushes her higher because of course he would.

            "Yes, she would. She's started..." He darts to one side to catch her as she lets go of the swing at the zenith. When he catches her he's knocked back into Raphael who's right behind them. "What did I just say, young lady?"

            "I waited until you wouldn't see me. And I didn't jump, I flew." She protests with her little three year old logic.

            "Michelle, you know very well what we told you not to do and you did it." Raphael scolds her as Dean runs over.

            "What the he.. heck, baby butt? Gave me a heart attack there. Are you trying to kill yourself?"

            "I was trying to fly because I am an angel. My wings are too small so I needed thrust." Shelly says primly. Okay, put Chicken Run on the list of movies never to watch again. 

            "You're half an angel and your wings aren't even big enough to sustain you in the air at all. You could have seriously hurt yourself or your Aunt Luci or anyone else you landed on. Now go sit on the bench for three minutes." Raphael points back to the bench. Shelly gives a dismayed pout that has no effect on him at all, so she looks to her other uncles. 

            "I have to agree, Shelly, that was very naughty and dangerous." Dean says apologetically.

            "If it's not worth a time out, it's not worth doing." Luci kisses her cheek. The sentiment is not appreciated by the other two. "Come on. I'll sit with you. But no talking or we reset the clock." Luci carries her back to the bench and sits her down on the opposite end. "If you do it again we're just not going to push you on the swings until you show you can be trusted." he kisses her forehead and sets the timer on his phone. "When it beeps we can get up. See, this is three minutes, when it's all circles we can get up." He shows her. Shelly just sighs and swings her feet, looking down at the ground until the timer beeps. "Look, Alice is here. Why don't you go play with her in the sandbox?" he points to the kindergardener running over.

             "Alice!" Shelly yells excitedly and starts running to her freind.

             "Hey, Raph. How's Alex doing?" Dean ambles over as the sandbox is close by.

             "She needs some alone time." Luci informs him with a grin.

             "Alone? She's due any day now isn't she?"

             "Claire's with her. She's come to stay with us until Alex gives birth." Raphael explains with a look that makes it clear that Claire has not exactly warmed up to him any and he's less sad to be out of the apartment than he otherwise would have.

             "So she really needs some overprotective-expectant-father-free time." Luci teases his little brother.

             "I am not over protective. Do you know how many things can go wrong in a pregnancy? The very process itself is a delicately balanced war for survival between mother and child where one tries to avoid being consumed and destroyed by the other. Do you have any idea how many women have died in childbirth in the history of humanity? just regular human births?" Raphael protests. Luci leans over to give Raphael a kiss on the cheek. "What are you doing?"

             "That's for making me sterile." Luci pats his brothers' head.

             "Yeah, we're all pretty grateful about that." Dean takes a water out of Shelly's bag and takes a drink, ignoring the obscene gesture sent his way.

             "Maybe you can try to talk some sense into Mitcha. He's still talking about adopting some little squalling manchild. I'm marrying him aren't I? That should be good enough for this lifetime at least." Luci rests his arms on the back of the bench behind him taking up almost the whole thing.

             "You're still going ahead with that, huh?" Dean makes a minorly squicked out face.

             "Yeah. She wants it, so yeah. Dad knows I owe her that much."

             "If you don't want to get married you don't have to. Oh, crap, Alice's mother in here." Dean grimaces.

             "And?"

             "And she's a Jehovah's witness and Alice is very dogmatic when her mom's around. Plus Shelly's been showing off her birthday socks to everyone." Dean covers his eyes. "Alright I'm going over. Call me when Michael gets here." He runs over to the sandbox.

             "Religions can get so weird." Luci shakes his head as Shelly shoves the other girls down.

             "He does so! He gave me these socks! See? They say grandpa's girl in enochian!" Luci hears his niece yell and gets up to join the fray.

             "We've got this." Dean points back at him. Luci ignores him.

             "Aunt Luci, she said grandpa doesn't want us to have birthday parties or celebrate Christmas or Halloween or... or..." Shelly complains to her in enochian, pointing at the surprised older girl.

             "I know. Some people think weird things about dad. You can't argue with them. You just have to say 'okay' and go about your day knowing their idiots." He pats her head as Dean apologizes to the kids mother.

             "But.. but.. they don't know grandpa. How can they say lies about him like that?" She looks up at him, seriously upset by this.

              "It's not lying if they believe it, honeybee. They're just wrong. That's all." Luci picks Shelly up. "Some things you just can't talk to people about. Religion and politics."

              "I'm very sorry." Dean apologizes to the irate woman. "We're working with her on her temper."

              "Time for another time out, Shelly girl."m Luci takes her back to the bench.

              "No!"

              "Yes."

              "That's not fair! I wasn't wrong. She was!" Shelly pouts. Luci knows the feeling.

              "I know it seems that way. She was wrong about grandpa but you were wrong for pushing her.  There are rules and when you break them bad things like getting put in time out can happen. Was pushing Alice for being wrong worth getting a time out?" He asks her.

               "No."

               "Then you shouldn't have done it."

                "But... but she said...." Shelly protests.

                "I know. But she's allowed to say stupid things. If you're going to push down everybody who says stupid things, even just stupid things about grandpa, then you'll never do anything else. Besides, if you say something I don't like is it okay for me to push you down?"

                "No, but you're bigger and stronger than me." Shelly traces Luci's collar bone. "I'm just little bitty teensy weensy tiny thing." says the three year old as big as a five year old.

                "Your stronger than she is. Now sit down. Three minutes." Luci puts her back down on the bench.

                "Will you sit with me again?" Shelly pouts her little lips and gives her uncle her golden puppy eyes.  Not that she needs too.

                "Yeah." Luci pats her head and sits down setting the timer on his phone again. When the timer reaches zero again, Shelly gets up and runs back to the sand box. Luci sighs and looks up to see Michael smiling down at him, that soft and adoring smile so often sent his way now. "Can I help you?"

                 "You see," Michael gives him a kiss. "This is exactly what you were mean to be. Guiding humanity in the ways they should go." It takes all Luci's restraint not to roll his eyes. " Are you hungry? Would you like to get something to eat with me and Shelly?"

                 "I'm fine." Luci shakes his head leaning back on the bench. "And Shelly just ate."

                  "We can wait then." Michael sits beside him, putting an arm around Luci's shoulders. "I think you'd be a great father."

                  "Ychh." Luci makes a face. "Of a human?  No, thanks."

                  "A mother then?" Michael says innocently. The look Luci gives him at this could freeze an open flame.  "You're not going to take this attitude towards Raphael's child, are you?" Michael frowns at him.

                  "It's not his child. It's a growing patchwork meatsack made of bits and peices of his body and Alex's with a stork delivered premium used soul."

                  "That is the accurate yet ineligantly worded paraphrasing of the current definition of a child." Michael says dryly. "He made this baby, Helel... Luci." He corrects himself. "Grace or not, he is responsible for it's creation just as much as any human father."

                  "Fine. Whatever you say. I don't know why he didn't just leave it in. You know he can keep her safe and bring her back if something goes wrong."

                   "Aside from giving Alex an easier pregnancy, I think he wants to make sure that their child will go to heaven." Luci doesn't have any reply to that. Honestly better if Shelly doesn't have any competition for the throne in purgatory. "I really do think you could be a wonderful parent."

                   "You know, sometimes I miss the days you didn't have such an overly optimistic opinion of me." Luci crosses his arms. "You always expect way too much." 

                   "No, I don't. I expect just enough." Michael gives an irritatingly confident smile, which is just barely made up for with another kiss.

                    "Shelly, remember to use your words." Raphael cautions her as he follows Courage back to greet Michael.

                    "You.. bitch!"

                    "Oh, Jesus, not that one!" They see Dean cover his eyes. "Alright, time to go." He picks up the three year old and brings her back over to her aunt and uncles."

                    "I think it's time for a nap." Raphael observes the cranky young woman.

                    "No! No nap! I'm not sleepy!" She yawns lifting her head off of her uncle's shoulder.

                    "Do you think she needs another time out?" Dean asks, a bit unsure, but Sam really does not want her swearing like that.

                    "What? But... but I used my words like you told me to!" Shelly starts to cry a little. "I should have just pushed her." Luci understands the feeling completely, but Michael intercepts her before hand.

                    "No. No more time outs." Michael takes her from Dean. "Why don't we go home and watch a movie? Just you me and Luci." Michael wipes her eyes dry.

                    "What movie?" 

                     "Whatever you want to watch, honeybee." He kisses her cheek.Luci smiles, a movie. the perfect way to get her to take a nap without actually giving her a nap.

                     "Oh! Can we watch that robot movie that mommy made?" Shelly perks up.

                     "What robot movie?" Michael frowns as Dean chokes on his water.

                     "No!" Dean exclaims. "No! No. Not the robot movie. That's not... no."

                     "We only have a few. Trolls, Tangled, Frozen..." Michael starts to list off.

                     "Trolls!" 

                     "Okay. Say goodbye to Uncle Dean Uncle Raph." He puts her down. Shelly runs over and gives them each a hug and Courage a kiss as well as Michael picks up Shelly's bag.

                     "Later." Luci gets up and stretches a bit. Shelly takes his and Michael's hands as they walk back to the cuilding. She hands on their hands and swings from them every few minutes.

                    "Auntie Miqa. I want to fly. Can you take me to go fly?" She asks pulling up her legs again.

                     "No, sweetie, not today. I'm taking some human time with Aunt Lucy."

                     "Oh, okay." Shelly sighs. "When can I go home?"

                     "Mommy and Daddy are having some special alone time for their anniversary. They'll come and get you when they're done."Lcui explains.

                     "But their anniversary was the day before my birthday. It's not their anniversary anymore." Shelly protests.

                      "They put it off so they could celebrate your birthday first. Besides don't you want to spend time with us?" Luci pouts at her. 

                      "Yes, but why don't mommy and daddy want special time with me?" Shelly scowls and hangs on their hands again.

                       "Becasue that's illegal, honey." Luci replies. Michael gives him an irritated reproachful look. But Shelly didn't really hear him anyways. "Because." Luci swings her up by the arm to take hold of her and get her full attention. "If they spent special time with you all the time, Auntie Miqa and I wouldn't get to spend special time with you." Luci swings her up and holds her.

                        "Why doesn't Uncle Raphi want special time with me anymore?" She is just determined to be upset, isn't she?

                        "He was just at the park with us, silly goose." Luci tweaks her nose.

                         "No, he came to have special time with you. He doesn't let me come over to play anymore. He doesn't like me anymore."

                          "That's not true." Michael gently reassures her as she rests her head on Luci's shoulder. "It's just that Aunt Alex is having a baby and he's just trying extra hard to be exrra special careful. And he came to your birthday party yesterday, didn't he?"

                         "Alex is not my aunt. She's not my mommy's sister or my daddy's sister. Why is she having a baby? Where is she keeping it?" The cranky child grouses.

                         "They want to have a baby all their own that they can love and raise like a mommy and daddy love you."

                         "But I'm already me. They can love me. They don't need a baby." It makes Luci feels a little irritable that he identifies with almost everything Shelly says and feels when she's tired and unreasonable. And also vaguely insulted for some reason.

                         "It'll be fun for you, having a little baby cousin to teach things and play with and love." michael informs her. Shelly just gives a sigh, rolling her eyes at this.

                          "They have courage. They don't need a baby. I'm the baby." She insists as Luci carries her into the main entrance., and squirms down to the floor so she can press the elevator button. "I want pizza!"

                           "We're having steak." Luci says firmly. " Mitcha's human so she can have steak so we're having steak."

                           "Not just for steak." Michael protests, as if he didn't just chide Luci for her innappropriate joke. "I want to go swimming, too." Oh, of course that would be it. "But I don't need

to..."

                            "We're having steak tonight, Michael. End of discussion." Luci cuts him off before he can finish.

                            "No, we're having pizza." Shelly states firmly running into the elevator as the door opens.

                            "Oh no we're not. Don't think you can out stubborn me, little girl." He goes in after her. Michael just sighs and follows them into the elevator. Maybe Shelly's not the only one who needs a nap.


	3. That's Not Funny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel is not amused by whatever the hell practical joke her family is playing on her and deeply regrets getting drunk on Raphael's brew that night. 
> 
> Samuel 'Mule' Winchester is not having a good evening.

        Gabriel, laughs as she picks herself up off the floor. She tries to snap the mirror back together but it doesn’t work for some reason.

        “Huh.” She shakes her head and turns around to look at the man staring at her from the bed. “Can you believe that? You said satin sheets were a bad idea but nooo. I’m an archangel. I can handle slippery sheets.” She rolls her eyes, still laughing. “Ohhhkay. Sorry about the mirror. I… huh.” Gabriel brushes the shards of mirror off her clothes, and looks at the room. “I thought we cleaned this place up before dinner. Hold on.” She snaps her fingers to put things back the way they were. It works this time. “Alright, my sweet sampita. Where were we?” She climbs up to straddle his waist, giving him a gentle kiss. “Happy anniversary, Sam. Wait, where’s your hair?” she sits up as she finally notices the buzz cut. Damn Raphael makes some good stuff.

        “Sam!” She hears Dean calling out in the hall. Wonderful, some sort of crisis is occurring.

       “Oh for, seriously?” She looks to the door. “One day. I asked for one damn day free of this shit. I am so crashing his next anniversary.”

       “You stay the hell away from from brother’s family, you evil whore.”

       “Woah.What did you just say to me?” She looks down at her darling husband, noticing his furious look of pure hatred. What the hell…

        “Bree. We must flee.” Castiel appears.

        “Ha! You’re a poet and don’t know it. Go away, paseh. It’s our anniversary.”

        “Are you drunk? Have you been drinking?” Cassiepoo seems both surprised and confused at the idea.

        “It’s my anniversary, kid. If i want to steal some of Raph’s wine and get drunk I can do that. Now go get your boyfreind out there and see whatever it is he wants before I kill him. Or would you rather have me turn you into a kitten and throw you at his head.” She protests. Castiel just erases the warding keeping Raphael out. Her big brother comes in, grabs her and takes her away just as Michael starts to descend from the heavens. “What the hell…”

        “What do you think you’re doing?” Raphael demands.

        “Celebrating my anniversary?” She looks back at him. “What do you think you’re doing?”

         “Keeping my wife from being locked away for eternity you reckless, thoughtless brat.” He turns her around as she tries to process this.

         “Wait, what?” She starts as he takes hold of her face and kisses her. “WOAH! What the fuck are you doing? Are you high on coca leaves again you fiend? And where the hell did you get this vessel from? I thought Balthy turned it to salt.” Raphael just stares at her. “Are you okay? What’s going on? If this is some sort of elaborate joke you and Luci cooked up, you really should have done without the kiss you pervert.” She takes her gloves off and punches his arm. “Now if you don’t mind, I’m…” Gabriel plauses as her brother grabs her right arm, staring at the forarm for some unknown reason.

         “Gabriel, what have you done?”

         “What.. I’ll tell you what I’m about to do. I’m about to go to Michael and have her beat your feathered ass if you don’t let me go back to celebrating my anniversary with my damn husband.” An empty threat as Miqa would never raise a hand to her baby boy.

         “I am, your damn husband!”

         “EW! NO! Uggh! This is not funny, Raph. Gross! Look just because Michael and Luci are into that sort of thing doesn’t mean...”

         “Quiet!” He looks furious for a second which is frightening. Okay, Raph’s gone crazy. Apparently the stress of impending prenthood has completely unhinged him. That or he just got a little drunk and messed up on the recipe. “What happened to the mark, Bree. What did you do with it?” Raphael demands.

         “I didn’t do anything with any.. look, I’m neither drunk nor sober enough for whatever it is that’s going on with you now go back to Alex and get some therapy while I try to salvage the evening.”

         “Who is Alex?”

         “Your girlfreind? The soon to be mother of your child?” Gabriel reminds him. Raphael gives a weary sigh and  is silent for a moment.

         “Bree, this is not the time for this. Michael will kill you. Do you understand? Please tell me what you did. Is it just some new kind of camoflage? What?” He grabs her shoulders looking both pissed and panicked at the same time. “Very well,” Raphael takes a deep breath as she just stares at him, kind of afraid to say anything anymore. “I’ll play along. But please…” He begs. “Please reconsider this.”

         “Will you please let go of me now?”

         “I’m afraid to.” The look in his eyes makes her feel guilty and she doesn’t know why.

         “It’s okay, Raph. You don’t have to be afraid.” She places her free hand on his cheek. “It’s okay, Raph.” She goes up on tiptoe to hug him as best she can. “Everything’s going to be okay. I promise.” She reassures him. He let’s go of her arm, and just holds onto her tightly for a moment.  As soon as he lets go, she takes off, heading for Souix Falls. He definitely needs Alex right now, maybe even Luci since Michaels doing something at the moment. She’s not there. The hunter’s shelter is old and run down. It looks condemned. Neither of them look like they’ve been lived in for a very long time.     

 

 

         “Not bad.” Bree traces the lines of muscle on his torso. “You look so healthy. Such long silky hair.” Sam laughs and covers his eyes with his arm. “Nice ring. How long have you been married?”

         “You should know, you were there.”

         “Oh, I see. And do our significant others know about this little thing we have here?” This just elicits more laughter from him. It’s surprisingly pleasant to hear.

          “Babe, I love you , but I am exhausted.” He gives her another kiss.

          “Mind if I look around then?” She sits up, stretching.

          “Knock yourself out.” He turns over onto his stomach and relaxes a little, letting himself fall asleep. Samuel Winchester actually going to sleep next to her without a care in the world. What the hell happened? That mirror was supposed to change the person looking into it, not everything around them.

           Sam was supposed to call his darling Helel to come save him and as soon as he was occupied, she’d whip off the covering and her darling big brother wouldn’t be the same faithful, angsty guilt ridden goody goody arrogant killjoy. He’d be… better. There would actually be a change to get him away from Heaven and Michael. To bring him to her side where he should be. Maybe the new Helel would love her the way Raphael does. She already broke it in for him years ago, and knows they’re compatible. There’s a knock at the door that doesn’t wake the youngest Winchester.

            “Can I help you?” She opens the door to see Castiel wearing that trenchcoat again for some reason. She thought she destroyed that ugly thing. “I see you found another one of those stupid coats.”

             “Michelle wants her bear.” He apologizes. Bree raises an eyebrow and looks to the side taking hold of the stuffed animal.

             “I don’t know if we exorcised it yet.” She looks it over and opens the back, taking out the batteries. “There. That’s probably the trouble unless there’s an actual demon involved.”

             “Cas, baby, come on. The movies are starting in half an hour and you know how bad the lines are.” Dean Winchester walks out of the nearby bathroom, in jeans and a tshirt. Bree never thought he had anything to wear but his uniform.

             “Baby?” Bree can’t help but ask. Castiel shrugs.

             “We tried other ones, but they don’t sound right.” he shakes his head. “It’s alright. I don’t mind sharing a nickname with the impala so long as I’m the only one he’s sleeping with.” The comment makes Bree burst out in surprised laughter. “I’ll be right there. Shelly needs her bear.” He vanishes.

               “I swear, that kid is going to be so spoiled. Hey, if you’re done defiling my brother I need to talk to you about that daughter of yours.” Dean Winchester beckons her over with a crooked finger as if he actually expects her to do so. What the hell? It should be interesting.

                “Sure thing, Sheriff.” Bree ambles over. “You done defiling mine?” God that’s just so damn hilarious to say. Mr. Propriety banging a rebel angel. Or is this version of Castiel not a deep cover angelic spy for heaven’s shining star?

                “Not now. You need to talk to your daughter. She got in a fight with a girl twice her age and called her a bitch because she said that god doesn’t approve of celebrating birthdays or christmas while Shelly was wearing the socks he gave her for her birthday.” Bree can’t help it. She starts laughing her ass off. There is not a single part of that sentance that is not just pure, pure gold.   “It’s not funny!” At least this Dean is still a humorless prick. “She’s stronger than a human and she’s going to have to interact with people who don’t know about angels and things. Luci’s pretty good with her, as much as i hate to admit it, but seriously, you can’t let the damn devil be the primary voice of reason in her life. You need to work with Michelle yourself you’re her mother. It’s your job.”

                 “The damn devil?” The appelations makes her stop in her tracks as it was obviously not referring to her.

                 “Look, I know he’s reforming and all that, but still, he’s not there yet. And she’s so impressionable right now and loves her ‘Uncle Helel’ so much. I worry about this, and you know Sam does too.” Dean starts to wak away but turns back. “Not to mention she asked him to kill me because I called her a strange duck. Granted I don’t think she was being literal, but… will you stop laughing for one minute? This isn’t funny. Why am I even talking to you about this?”

                  “I don’t know.” She keeps laughing, shaking her head.

                  “You never take anything seriously. You know we are trying not to make her into a monster here. You know what… forget it.” He storms off. Where ever Bree is, it’s an incredibly interesting place. Helel the devil? She needs to find a bible or something and catch up. If this Samuel has anything in common with her Samuel there’s got to be one in a library somewhere.

 

                  “Sam, Sammy, are you okay?” Mary picks the locks on the cuffs.

                  “He is uninjured.” Michael walks over to the broken mirror and picks up one of the shards. There’s writing on the back. “I’m going to need Helel to take a look at this. Samuel?” He turns back.

                   “No.” Mary snaps, covering her shivering son with a blanket. “He is going home and getting some sleep and you can go find out who the hell is responsible for this.”

                   “I know who is responsible, Ma’am.” Michael replies respectfully as Dean always insists. “Having Helel with him is the best way to protect him.”

                    “No, it isn’t.” Sam move out of his mother’s arms. “She was after him,not me. It’s better if he doesn’t come down. And I’m not going home, I’m not drawing trouble there, with the children.  I’m going to the hotel.”

                  “No, Sammy.” Mary touches his shoulder. “Don’t think that way.”

                  “It’s Samuel,” He brushes her hand off. “I have to go. I have to lead her as far away from here as I can.”

                  “Don’t be foolish. Soldier or hunter, you don’t go off on your own, you know that. There’s nothing we can’t handle together as a family.”

                  “Not even the devil?” He looks at her.

                  “That bitch is back?” Mary’s eyes narrow. “You are coming home, young man. no arguments. I mean it.”

                  “She talked about crashing Dean’s next anniversary, mom. You and Dean go home and help Jo protect the twins. I’ll be fine. I’ll call Helel okay? If I need anything.”

                 “If you won’t come home, then I want you in the safe room.” Mary crosses her arms.

                 “I’m not going into the safe room! Nobody is locking me up for my own safety or otherwise.” He snaps in a manner both Michael and Dean consider incredibly innappropriate.

                  “At least just go to the road house.” She insists. If it weren’t for the fact that his mother is actually advocating going to Ellen’s he’d just say no again out of principle.

                  “Alright. I’ll go to the roadhouse.” He rubs the bridge of his nose.

                  “Thank you, Sam-a-lamb.” She hugs him. “Michael would you take him there?”

                  “Yes, ma’am.” the angel nods and places hand on Mule’s shoulder, taking him to the bar. When they arrive the soldier is reclothed and has his duffel bag back. “You should speak to your mother with more respect and deference, Samuel.”

                   “Just… take care of my family, alright? And don’t let your brother come down here again. Not until we figure out what she’s up to. I mean it. I really think he’s in serious danger.”

                    “I will speak with him, but you know there is little I can do to keep him from your side if he feels you need him. Helel can be… difficult. Especially when he believes he’s right.” Which is almost always, says Michael’s expression. Samuel smiles a little. As always Michael’s relationship with his brother kind of humanizes him. It’s not a perfect partnership, but sometimes Samuel wishes he and Dean could be that close. Granted Michael and Helel have had since the dawn of time to work things out to this degree.

                     “Michael?” Samuel lifts his bag up over his shoulder. “Have I… influenced him? I mean, in a bad way. Am I corrupting him?”

                     “No. He has always been difficult. It requires more forbearance to endure than a human could manage  at times. I worried he had perhaps been influencing your recalcitrance, in truth, but your brother reassures me that you have always been that way.” Michael states simply. Sam doesn’t say anything as he’s fairly sure he was kind of asking for it. “Be careful, Samuel. You are precious to us both and none of us would see you come to further harm.” Before he can reply, Michael vanishes to hunt down the nightingale. Or to return Dean to his family, he’s not sure. Samuel takes a breath and turns to enter the bar. He almost doesn’t, but he’s too tired to try and find somewhere else to go tonight.

                       “Samuel,” Ellen greets him with concern in her eyes, and stops what she’s doing to come give him a hug. “How are you? How are you doing? How’s your mother?” Always a suspicious question.

                       “She already called you, didn’t she?” he asks flatly.

                       “Mule! My man!” Ash walks over beer in hand and greets the soldier with a hand clasping hug. “S’up. did you bring your guest? I have a few questions about harmonic resonance and the various frequencies between planes of existence. You know how these myth busters are trying to say all these haunted spots are just due to architecture creating these specific frequencies that weird us out, right? Well I wasn thinking…”

                   “Drinking.” Ellen corrects him with a roll of the eyes.

                   “Toking actually, and thought, what if those frequencies are what makes it easier for ghosts to peirce the veil? I mean, if every person who died badly or unsure of where they were going to go or wanted to go became a ghost no one’d ever be able to live anywhere. Am I right? And if we can find the right calibrations maybe we could make actual portals and passages between planes of existence. Or learn to locate and close them. not just getting rid of current ghosts but preventing ones from getting through into the future. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, right?” he points to Sam.

                     “You know you’re going to get your mind wiped again if you keep trying to mess with the fabric of existence.” Samuel shakes his head.

                     “Again?”

                     “I’ll talk to him. Look, I’m really tired. It’s been a long night.” Samnuel looks away to check the wards on the wall incorperated into the wall paper design.

                     “Yeah, no, man. It’s cool. I’ll catch you later.” Ash takes the hint from Ellen’s firm stare in his direction, and heads back to his computer. “Peace.”

                     “Why don’t you sit down for a minute. Have a drink while Bobby finishes fixing up the guest room. I still make a mean Arizona sunset.” She grins at him. Samuel nods and sits down at his usual seat. His initials are still etched on the edge of the bar next to Dean’s and Jo’s, though now theirs are linked with a heart between them carved on their first date and now an eternity sign carved on their wedding day. And as always Sam’s sits apart, alone.

                     “How about a Moscow mule?” Sam teases.

                     “Sorry, out of ginger beer.” She pats his head. Sam just places the coaster over the markings and takes a peanut, “You know you can stay as long as you like. Same as always.” Ellen kisses his head. It’s funny how she always felt more like a mother to him than his own mother did. Lord knows they spend more time with her, here at the roadhouse growing up than they did with Mary. At least once he started school, when she started hunting again, unable to face the thought of being in that empty house alone with their father’s memory all day every weekday.

                      “Thank you.” He skips the ‘I don’t want to put you in danger’ speech  as he knows that it will just start an argument. And though neither will admit it, they both know that as soon as he’s rested he’ll be vanishing to god knows where for god knows how long. Same as always.


	4. Not The Man I Married

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabrielle checks up on 'Mule'  
> Michael and Raphael discuss faherhood and responsibilities  
> The nightingale breifly looks up her favorite brother.

               Gabriel sits on the edge of the sofa bed, looking down at the sleeping man. The words on the building are impressive. There’s even a general protection against darkness that augments everything. Whoever did these was beyond brilliant. Her head hurts. She should not have had so much of Raphael’s brew but she’s been so stressed over trying to meditate concerns in heaven. Especially with Michael and Luci finally setting a date. No one in heaven is alright with it, but at least they’re fine with Dean and Castiel’s relationship now. And her and Sam’s. They were never opposed to Raphael and Alex, which is just all kinds of annoying.

              Of course that’s the least of her problems right now. What the hell is going on? What happened to her Sam? Look at him, with a buzz cut? It’s obscene. And he’s so thin, and his eyes look like he hasn’t slept well in years. He’s healthy but at the same time… different. Just tense all over, even in his sleep. She brushes her hand over his head, sending him into a deeper more relaxing sleep, spurring the growth of his hair a little until it’s long enough not to break her heart. The last time her hair was that short he was dying of cancer. Died of cancer.

               “It’s not safe.” He mutters. “I’m sorry…. No…”

        “Shhh.” Gabriel soothes him as he starts to toss and turn slightly. And sings Shelly’s favorite lullabye out of pure habit. When she’s doing he’s stilled again and sleeping peacefully.

               There’s an army rucksack next to his beds. Well word. And the dog tags for the United States Marine Corp. One for John Winchester. One for Samuel Winchester and one for Aaron Kine with a bullet hole through the edge by the serial number. It’s kind of hard to see him as a soldier, obeying orders from anyone but Dean. And even then it was iffy. Killing humans under orders. Living in a world of black and white voluntarily. Who is this man with her husband’s face and soul.”

               There’s a book. N.A. handbook. Very well worn. A bible a medallion she hasn’t seen before. An angel with a spear reaching the flat end out to a drowning man. St. Lucifer. Salvatorem, finis noctis. savior, the end of the night. The chain of hte amulet marks a passage in the NA book.

               Helel Ben Sahar, patron saint of the fallen. No crime too severe, no sin too great, but the archangel of love and forgiveness will come to your aid to save you from the darkness and lead you back into the light. Rightly names the shining one, son of the morning, St. Helel is your guide to righteousness. 

               There’s are notes in the margins ‘does not like to be called Lucifer, prefer’s just Helel’, ‘angel of beauty’. Iun a later paragraph the word enemy is scratched out and replaced with the word opponent. The ‘opponent’ of the nightingale, siren of darkness. The Nightingale? That reference isn’t expounded on at all.

               There’s a journal in the knapsack as well. Full of notes on angels and demons. They don’t seem to be the same as the demons in her world. Or of the opinion of the winchesters in regards to angels either. In truth nothing seems the same. There’s a newspaper clipping. Wedding announcement for Dean Winchester and Joanna Harvelle. One for Ellen Harvelle and Robert Singer. Birth announcement. twins, Mary Ellen and Bobby John Winchester. Born May fourth to Dean and Jo Winchester. A news clipping the election of Sherrif Dean Winchester. It’s underneath a smaller clipping of graduation from the police academy in Smith Center. An obituary, John Winchester, former marine, survived by wife Mary and sons Dean and Sam ages four and nine months. Shot by a burglar in a home invasion. 

               Their mother killed by a demon, they become hunters. Their father killed by a burglar, Dean becomes a police officer, Sam becomes a marine. It kind of makes her smile, and cry at the same time. What happened? Did someone go back in time? change something? Does this mean their daughter doesn’t exist? 

               A sudden sharp intake of breath, catches her attention and she looks over to see Sam, awake, terrified.

               “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Gabriel puts the journal back.

              “How did you get in here?” He backs up against the head board. It’s amazing how such an enormous man can make himself look so small and helpless. “The wards. How did you get past them?”

              “Why wouldn’t I be able to? All they do is keep out evil. Chaotic nuetral remember?” She winks though clearly this Sam wouldn’t. 

              “You are the very definition of Evil.” He reaches over to something on the table, slowly but not slow enough to escape her notice. He freezes when she looks that way.

              “What do you need? Just take it. I’m not going to hurt you.” She sighs, and looks down at her ring, her wedding ring. The twin to one he’s not wearing. “Have I hurt you?”  

              “What do you want me to say?” He asks quietly.

              “I don’t know. So, I’m evil.”

             “You… you’re the nightingale. The siren. You led humanity astray and just keep leading us astray. You’re the devil. Generally pretty proud of that actually.”

 

             “I want a baby.” Michael comments to his brother as they sit on the couch, waiting for their lovers to wake up.

              “You’ll need a different vessel.”

             “That would probably be easier than convincing Helel to have one. I’ve given up on adoption. At least for now. He’s not fond enough of humanity yet.”

             “If he got pregnant every angel or demon in existence would hunt him down. Either to kill him and the child or abduct it to lead hell back into it’s former glory.”

              “Not if it was just human.” Michael points out.

              “You don’t know that. Even so I doubt he’d agree to giving birth to a regular human. Even if he was so inclined to get pregnant at all. Which you know he wasn’t.”

              “He might if it was Denny.” Michael looks down at his cup.

              “You’ve given this a frightening amount of thought. Just so you’re aware, this is one battle plan I will absolutely not be helping you with.” 

              “I am aware. And it’s not a battle plan. This isn’t a war.” Michael can’t keep the annoyance out of his voice at his brother’s sarcastic phrasing.

              “You want Helel to bear and give birth to a human baby; at best it’ll start a war.” Raphael points out. Michael gives him a slightly disappointed look at his attitude.

              “How did you convince Alex to have a just plain human baby with you?” Michael turns to face him, despite the fact that Raphael just said that he wouldn’t help.

              “Purgatory.” Is the short reply.

              “Ah. That wouldn’t work with him. He’d just raise himt o rule it with Shelly. Or instead of Shelly.”

              “He might give your child hell instead.”

              “Over my dead body!” Michael snaps.

              “You say that as if it’s never gotten to that point between you.” Raphael would have to bring that up. 

              “Raphael…” Michael starts to correct him but his little brother’s not having it.

              “If you don’t think that Helel, if he loves that child, would love it more than anything else in creation, more than he ever loved himself, then I don’t know what to tell you.”

               “He’s changed, Raphael, and you know it.” Michael angrily reminds him.

               “Not so much that he wouldn’t burn everything to the ground if he had reason enough, and men have done worse for their children then kill for them. You know it could go that way. Especially if he’s a mother.” Raphael insists, firmly. “He had the two of you take over and reform the structure of purgatory on the off chance that Shelly dies before we can convince Death that purgatory is not the proper place for Nephilim. Besides which, he’s not ready to be entrusted with the full time moral training of a child, human or otherwise. What’s more he doesn’t want to do it right now. You know this and should respect it.”

              “I do know that he feels that way. Maybe your daughter will win him over to the idea. Michael says hopefully. Raphael just gives him a dry look.

               “We’ll be lucky if he acknowledge the child as mine at all.” Raphael shakes his head. “You know something is going to have to be done about Hell. We can’t just leave things the way they are indefinitely. The souls will escape and wreak havok or the demons will find a way to keep them in place and just to do what they please with no one keeping them in line. Or both. We can’t just let anyone step in and take over.”

                “I know. Honestly it’s Helel’s mess.”

                “And yours.” Raphael reminds him. “You are the one that outright devastated the place and reduced it to it’s current condition.”

                 “Crowley should have taken me seriously.” Michael argues a bit stiffly. Raphael just hands him a glass of ice tea.

                 “You’re slightly dehydrated.” He explains his head, rolls his eyes and drinks it. “You need to keep on top of that it’s important.  Have you had any vegetables today? Fruits?”

                 “Raphael, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself as a human without your assistance or direction.” Michael chides him. Raphael just raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms.

                  “When?”

                  “Excuse me?”

                  “When have you been able to take care of yourself as a human. The last time you were human without me, you didn’t eat anything but raw vegetables and fruit juice for a week. You lost seven pounds and passed out on an endurance run.”

                  “You’re the one who said I should eat more greens and try giving up meat for Lent since I wanted to try something.”

                  “Meat. Not all sources of protein. You can’t live off of leafy greens. You are not a rabbit.”

                   “Helel said the same thing.” Michael crosses his arms and looks away. “What about that first time I was human?” He instantly regrets the question as Raphael raises an eyebrow.

                   “You mean the time where you died before I was gone an entire solar day?”

                   “Before that. The week I took care of both myself and Helel while injured while you went off to sulk on Callisto?”

                   “Oh, the one where you and Helel ate nothing but pizza and chicken wings for a week and nearly crippled yourselves by not resting as I told you to do?” Raphael would reframe it that way.

                   “We survived, didn’t we?” Michael protests. “And how am I going to learn to be properly human if you won’t let me do it on my own?”

                   “I’ve been trying to teach you. I have a child on the way, Michael. A frail, fragile human child to protect and raise and guide. I can’t do that and baby sit the two of you as well.” Michael’s fairly sure that it’s the anxiety of impending fatherhood that’s making his brother speak so injudiciously but regardless it is not acceptable.

                    “Excuse me?” Michael turns to him. Raphael quickly looks down and away. 

                  “I’m always taking care of you and everyone, but I’ll have my daughter soon. I can’t… I can’t put you first anymore, it has to be her. Forever and always.” Raphael almost sounds as if he feels guilty for this. Which is beyond absurd.

                   “Of course. Helel and I will be just fines. Raph. You know we will be. I can take care of him.

                     “You can’t Michael. If I didn’t keep healing and fortifying his body he’d be nothing but skin and bones. He never ate right or enough and it’s only gotten worse after purgatory.”

                       “Then stop. Let him face the consequences so he can adjust his behavior accordingly.” Michael presents the obvious solution but Raphael doesn’t seem convinced.

                       “Yes, that always works so well.” Raphael look away. There’s a knock on the door. Michael opens it to see a scowling Shelly wearing one of her father’s tshirt as her nightgown, arms crossed.

                        “Uncle Michael. It is bed time.” she glares at him sternly. “That means we have to go to bed and cannot get up and play with our friends and family even if they’re awake, too.”

                         “I am an adult, Michele. Adults decide for themselves what time they go to sleep. Go back to bed with Aunt Luci. I will return shortly.” Michael says firmly.

                         “I have to get some more tea. She’ll only drink peach flavored green tea now.” Raphael stands up. ‘And it’s not bed time. It’s breakfast time. Go get dressed.” He prods Shelly back towards the apartment across the hall.

                          “Can I play with courage.” She asks looking back.

                          “Courage wants to stay with Alex right now, Michelle, but I’ll come and get you when it’s time to take him to the dog park, if that’s alright.”

                          “Okay.” Shelly sighs and rubs her eyes. “I’m going back to sleep. Please come back to bed with us Uncle Michael.” She gives him her best pout and reaches out to take his hand. “Helel takes all the covers and you’re warmer than he is.”

                             “Alright.” Michael sighs. “I’ll see you later, Raph.” He lets Shelly drag him back over to the bedroom.

                    Raphael shakes his head and shuts the door behind him heading off to the jungles. Alex could use some fruit, too. She’s craving sugar and he doesn’t want her resorting to sweets. Her blood sugar is borderline and the child’s a fairly substantial size as it is. Most first children are late births so she may have weeks more of growing to do.

                     “I should have known you’d be here.” He hears as he reaches up to take a  ripe mango. It sounds like Gabriel but oddly affectionate. 

                     “What do you want?” He adds it to the basket. 

                     “Nothing just wanted to see you.” That odd lovey tone again that’s incredibly worrisome and suspicious.

                      “What are you up to? Don’t you have an anniversary vacation to enjoy? I’m not in the mood for your nonsense right now. Alex is due any day now and I have enough to worry about.” He scowls at her. She’s just lying on a branch, her head on her hand her feet kicking back and forth in the air.

                      “I like this new vessel of yours. It’s very attractive. Not as tall as your last one but easier to work with I bet.” She looks him over appreciatively.

                      “Are you drunk?” He frowns at her and notices her legs. “Well, at least you finally did something about that damned prosthetic. It’s been bothering me since I came back.” The statement seems to confuse her. Something else is different as well. “Why are you wearing gloves? Are you tired of those ridiculous boots already?”

                      “I’m right as rain, Raphi. And why not wear gloves?” Is her infuriating reply. She still has that smile that’s starting to make him extremely uncomfortable.

                     “Do you still want us to watch Shelly the rest of the week/ Or is this your way of coming home early?”

                     “Shelly?” She actually looks confused.

                     “Your daughter?” Raphael snaps and tries to examine her but she’s blocking him. “Get down here and let me get a look at you.”

                      “Nah. And go ahead and keep her for a bit. I’m kind of busy right now. I’ll see you later.” she winks at him.

                      “Gabriel…”

                      “Love you, cutie.” the angel blows him a kiss and vanishes. This is strange and disturbing even for her. She must be drunk. He is not making her any more of that stuff, that’s for damn sure. Ah well, at least she finally did something about that leg. One less thing for him to worry about.


	5. A Hell of a Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bree goes exploring, makes freinds  
> Breakfast with Michael and Luci  
> Sam is bewildered and confused with his wife's actions

                      Bree looks around the molten flaming wreckage in dismay. What happened to her domain? The clubs, the bath house, the bar, the rides, the souls, her little brothers and sisters all sick of heaven and the rules. The... the everything. What could have possible happened? Though as she nears one of the more persistant flames, she doesn't need to ask. Michael. Apparently this Michael is as big an asshole as her Michael. Wasn't it warded? This place is so... interesting and strange. 

                       Who was that Alex? And what's due any day? What's Raph working on? Bree walks through the rubble kicking flaming rocks aside. It isn't even set up right. And why are there so many other flames? The heat makes her skin crawl and ache. The only place clear of it is the very center around a large ornate throne. It looks so uncomfortable. But a throne is a throne. 

                        "Damn pointy brick." She plops down on it putting her feet up on a pile of corpses nearby. She's going to have to find some source of information that she can't trust or at least control.

                        "You were expecting a beanbag chair?" The snarky british accent gets her attention.

                         "Yes, actually." she pats the arm of the chair open palmed and snaps her fingers to try and change it, but nothing happens. "What the Hel?"

                         "Only Lucifer has the juice to alter his throne. Had the juice." 

                          "His throne?" Bree straightens up.

                          "Well, it used to be. Technically it's mine now. You should know that, though, Gabriel." He walks slowly over.

                          "Fergus." Bree smiles. What incredibly luck. "You're a power hungry opportunist, right?" She rests her head  on her hand.

                           "I am ambitious, yes. But I'm not stupid. You and your families are nothing but trouble. What are you doing here? And what will it take to get you to leave as quickly as possible?" His words say go away, but the fact that he even made himself known and is speaking at all means he's open to bargain. At least something is still the same.

                          "Information." She brings up 'Swan Song; "What happened after this. How the hell did I come back and marry Sam Winchester? Are my siblings still in there? Either way how did he get out?" Bree snaps up a lazy boy and a plush beanbag cover for the throne, both with little tweeting nightingale covering bright yellow pleather. "Sit, drink eat, relax. As long as you tell me what I want to know we shouldn't have a problem."

 

                          "What are you doing?" Luci rubs his eyes walking out of the bedroom to see Shelly sitting on the counter next to Michael stirring a bowl of something.

                          "We're making breakfast." Shelly informs him.

                          "You can cook now?" Luci raises an eyebrow at the toddler. Asking the question equally of Michael, though he ignores her.

                           "Yes." Shelly says with a confident determination that tells Luci she has no idea what she's doing.

                          "Well, that makes one of you." Luci goes to grab a bowl of cereal. 

                           "I'm a better cook than you are." Michael says slightly irritated.

                           "Please you burn practically everything." he pours the milk into the empty bowl.

                           "Where as you burn absolutely everything." 

                           "Even my cereal?" Luci pours the last of the puffin squares on the top of the milk.  As soon as he puts the box down, the bowl bursts into flames. "Very funny Mitcha."

                           "Michelle." Michael turns to his giggling neice. "Where are your bracelets?"

                           "I don't know." She looks down at the mixing bowl and resumes stirring the batter.  Michael takes the bowl and spoon away from her.

                           "Go put them back on."

                            "Yes, Uncle Miqa." Shelly sighs and hops down from the counter.

                             "She's her mother's daughter, alright." Luci pats out the flames with a damp washcloth as the smoke alarm goes off. Something that happens enough for Raphael to just ignore it, but not enough for him to let them take the battery out of the alarm.

                             "Uncle Michael?" Shelly trots back out, squeezing her bracelet over her hand like the little contortionist she is, pausing to open the door for Raphael when he knocks. "How come Helel calls you Mitcha but everyone else calls you Miqa or Mikey or Mike or Michael or Mi-kai-el?" 

                             "Because he wouldn't let anyone else call Michael 'Mitcha' on threat of severe unwlecome consequences." Raphael replies, signaling Courage to stay at his feet.

                             "I'm sure that's not..." Michael starts.

                             "No, that's completely true. I absolutely did not allow anyone else to call you Mitcha. I enforced that very very thoroughly." Luci goes to get another thing of cereal, but all that's left is some mass produced toxic crap that Michael insists on buying for Shelly.

                              "Would you like to go to the park with me and Courage, Michelle?" Raphael asks her as she kneels down to pet the small dog.

                               "Hells yeah!" She jumps up. Michael just sighs and covers his eyes.

                               "Michele we have discussed appropriate language." Raphael chides her as Luci hands Shelly her coat.

                               "Sorry." She smiles sheepishly, not sorry at all.

                                "If you do it again, we won't stop for breakfast on the way home." Raphael informs her.

                                "We were making pancakes." Michael informs him. "And bacon, and eggs."

                                 "But they burn everything and leave the shells in the eggs so that's okay." Shelly runs out the door. 'Come on! Come on, Courage! Let's play!" 

                                 "I'll bring her back around noon." Raphael closes the door behind hi.

                                "He doesn't think we can take care of ourselves properly." Michael crosses his arms, frowning at the door. 

                                 "You can't." Luci looks through the cabinets for something organic and non gmo.  "You're a terrible human being, Michael."

                                  "I'm a better human than you are."

                                 "Yes, well I don't want to be human. I hate this body and everything that goes with it. I don't care how good I am at it. Or how bad I am. I might as well do what I want." She looks over to the stove. "The eggs are burning." Luci informs him before he can respond. "And you're not a better human than I am. At least I'm taking proper care of my body."

                                "No you aren't. You're actually taking such terrible care of it that Raphael is constantly forced to keep you healthy. At least my needs for intervention are few and fare between." Michael scrapes the eggs out onto the plate.

                                 "Your humanity is few and far between. And all this experimenting. What happened to 'just listen to your body. It's so simple i don't know why humans can't seem to manage it.' Luci mimics him.

                                 "When did I say that?"

                                 "Eden? When Eve kept getting sick from eating too much overripe fruit?" 

                                  "Oh, well, I didn't realize that your entire body would be shouting at once or that some needs would mimic other needs or hijack the system the way they do. Regardless, I cook better than you, I clean better than you, I'm a better driver than you are....' Michael starts listing it off on his fingers.

                                 "Michael, you are terrible at all those things."

                                 "But still better than you are. Not to mention, I\m better at sports, better at dating, better at sex.."

                                 "Excuse me? YOU are." Luci looks up astonished, though he knows damn well Mitcha's just teasing him, the fact that she could say that with a straight face is beyond the pale. "You're better at sex."

                                 "I'm glad we can agree on that much." Michael breaks into a grin despite himself, the cute little asshole.

                                 "Prove it."

 

                            "Huh." Bree nibbles on a charlston chew. "That.. that's just weird. I did for him again? Seriously? What in Hel's name.. and Sheol is no fun at all." She frowns at the demon.

                            "Not unless you're either an extreme sadist or masochist. Or enjoy trechery and infighting."

                            "Well yeah, but all the time? That sounds so boring. Okay, so how do we get rid of all this fire? I am not spending all my free time playing wifey to a damn Winchester." Bree wrinkles her nose at the thought. "I definitely need  me a bachelor pad."

                            "I beg your pardon?" 

                            "Yeah, no, don't worry. I'm not staying in this place. I'm just going to stay as long as I need to to convince my darling big brother to come back and take over earth with me. And, you know, figure out how to get bacvk, and get rid of my Helel. If I could get them to switch, that would be hillarious. Heaven's shining star being hated by absolutely everyone. And by Samuel Winchester too." Bree starts to laugh unproariously at the thought, ending with a deep sigh. "His little 'Mule' his greatest enemy. Oh it's too precious."

                            "Mule, not moose?"

                            "Nah, Mule. That's the nickname he got in the marines both for being stubborn and having the strength to match that gargantuan body of his. So, you probably want to get rid of this demention's Helel too, right?"

                            "Get rid of Lucifer, you mean. Yes, of course. I can't say that I think replacing him with a 'good' version would do me any good though."

                            "It will if I teach you how to lock him out of Sheol." Bree smiles. "Go on and get your minions so we can get this place fixed up a little."

                            "You'll teach me to... change the locks on Hell?" Crowley smiles slowly. "Can we keep that bastard Michael out as well?"

                            "Sure. Though I'll probably just try to kill her before I go."

                             "I hate to be the one to remind you of this, but Death's not exactly as.. eternal as it once was. I do have to think about the long term."  he looks carefully at Bree who considers for a moment.

                             "Yeah, you were always good at that." Bree admits. "Alright. now go get 'em. I'll wait."

 

                             "Have you seen my wife?" Sam asks as Dean makes himself a massive omlette.

                             "Yeah, breifly. She was reading the Winchester gospels on the couch for some reason. I don't know where she is now. Of course that was after I'd had a little talk with her about your daughter.  Did you know that she asked Lucifer to kill me because I called her a stange duck?" Dean asks angrily. Sam just raises an eyebrow.

                             "Who, Babe?"

                             "No, your daughter. You know damn well that woman has no problems doing that sort of thing herself. Are you hungry? I just started adding things and it got out of hand. Are you hungry? I just started adding things and it got out of hand." Dean looks down at it before sliding it off onto his plate.

                              "Sure." Sam sighs. "You know Shelly doesn't like being teased like that, Dean. She doesn't like being called strange or have it pointed out that she's different. You know she's self conscious about it." 

                               "She's three, Sam. And I wasn't being mean." 

                              "You don't get to decide what does and doesn't upset people, Dean. I'll make sure she understands that wasn't appropriate." Sam covers his eyes. "What did Lucifer say to that request exactly?"

                               "He said he couldn't because he was on probation." Dean's mouth twitches slightly.  "Anyways, I forgot it was Alice's mother's weekend, too, so..."

                                "Oh, wonderful." Sam winces.

                                "Yeah. Shelly had a few time outs yesterday." Dean sighs splitting the omlette and placing one before his brother with half a grapefruit and some whole wheat toast. "Not a word." Dean scowls getting the grapefruit spoons. "Raphael had a few words with Cas about my diet. I had no idea the angel was such a friggin nanny goat. I'm so damn old."

                                 "Yeah, you're what, pushing fifty?" Sam teases.

                                  "I will push you down the goddamn stairs if you say that again."  Dean points the fork at him. "I don't know how you do it, man." He sits down at the table as Sam does. "You okay? You don't look so well."

                                 "I'm fine. I'm just...exhausted, sore.... It's weird, she usually stays the whole night. Was there an emergency or something? Did she say anything about going anywhere?" Sam asks picking at the plate. 

                                  "No. She was just the usual pain in the... woah." Dean pulls at Sam's collar. "And I thought the halo hickey was impressive."

                                  "What?" Sam takes out his phone and pulls up the camera appt o look at his neck. There's a hickey in the shape of a kind of small bird on the nape of his neck. On his shoulder is a huge one. The size of an actual bird, maybe. 'Well, that's a new one. No wonder I'm so... hold on." He gets up and heads to the bathroom, taking a shirt off. 'What the hell? Dean hurried to the bathroom at the exclamation to see several birds on Sam's back and arms as well as what look like chinese characters down his spine. 

                                 "Wow. looks like somebody as bored in bed last night. Should have brought your A game Sammy,"

                                 "Shut up, Dean. Though glad to see you've gotten over your squeamish two year old reaction to evidence I had sex with my wife."

                                 "There's no way she could have dare that's foreplay without you noticing. What the hell?"

                                 "I don't know." Sm sounds annoyed and puts his shirt back on. "She never leaves a mark without asking. she never makes a mark without asking."

                                 "Okay, more than I needed to know."

                                 "Did she seem strange to you?" Sam puts a hand to his shoulder.

                                  "More so than usual? I dunno. She kept calling me 'sheriff' I have no idea why. I thought she was a little drunk from that stuff Raphael gave you."

                                 "A little, she fell off the bed, broke that mirror I found at the flea market. But still.. I'm going to go look for her. If you see her, let me know."

                                  "She's probably just off getting something. Beside you know if she doesn't want to be found you won't find her." Dean points out. 

                                  "Right. You don't think Alex is having the baby do you?" Sam looks up.

                                  "Pretty sure we'd be told about that Sam. Go relax get some sleep since Shelly's not here." Dean nudges his brother. "I'll have Cas look for her, okay?"

                                  "Thanks."

                                  "Here." Dean takes out a heating pack.

                                  "Thanks. " Sam holds it to his neck and heads back to bed. Dean immediately takes out his phone. 

                                  "Hey, Cas." Dean leaves a message. "Check on your psycho sister. She's acting weird. sam's kind of upset. She marked him up a bit and baled on their anniversary with no explanation, so when you get a chance? Thanks, baby." He hangs up. "What the hell is wrong with that woman?' He looks up in an appeal to the heavens, though they don't exactly know either, then glances back down at his phone. "Crap I'm late for class." Dean runs to the garage. Why did he agree to take over teaching Sam's classes? This is going to be a long week.


	6. Brotherly Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel tries to figure out what's going on and tries to convince Raphael that she's no who she thinks he is.  
> Mule is bewildered and terrified by the encounter and makes a brash decision  
> Gabriel decides to go ask her father for help, if he is who she thinks he is.

      “Have I hurt you?” Gabriel asks after a moment of silence. This Sam doesn’t reply. “Sam?”

     “Why do you keep calling me Sam? Only my family calls me that, you know that.” He puts a hand to his head as he notices the hair falling in front of his eyes. He looks confused but doesn’t ask. “You’re usually good about that at least.”

      “What do I usually call you?”

      “Mule, or Samuel. Everyone calls me Mule though. I picked up the nickname on tour in Iraq.” He brushes over Samuel as if he doesn’t want to think too hard about when she called him that.  

       “Iraq.”

       “That’s where we met. You saved me from a djinn in Bagdad. It was absolutely overrun. So many people were willing victims, a few of us weren’t exactly grateful for being saved.” He looks away. “What do you want now? I won’t call him.”

         “Call who?”

         “Helel.” Sam, Mule, gives a sigh. “Maybe I’m dreaming, but he said he’d keep you out of my dreams, and it isn’t as if my time with you wasn’t surreal even before the drugs.” He sounds so unsure of reality and so totally resigned to that that it kind of breaks her heart to look at him.

           “Hel- he has his grace.” Gabriel feels slightly alarmed at this. Mule gives her an odd look. “Of course, he’s in heaven too, I suppose.” Still that look, confused, slightly frightened, wary. “Okay.” She heaves a sigh. “I’m sorry. Caught in the middle of warring brothers again I see. I assume Dean’s being a jackass right now. Alright. Get some sleep.”She reaches out to tap his forhead. “Love you, Sam.” Gabriel heads towards heaven.

              He must have changed the time line or done something. And everything was going so well. They were even going to go wedding dress shopping after the anniversary vacation was over.

              “What are you doing!” Raphael intercepts her, grabbing her before she can come close to heaven’s gate, and pulls her downwards.

               “Let go of me!” She pushes him away.

               “Undo it.” Raphael demands.

               “What…”

               “Undo whatever you did to hide your mark from me. Now.” Raphael leans angrily over her, keeping tight hold of her wrists..

                “I don’t have the mark! Lucifer took the mark not me! And I think he changed the timeline or something and I have to fix it. This isn’t right. This isn’t real. Why would dad give me the mark?”

                 “Because you were a thoughtless reckless fool who left him no choice!” Raphael takes hold of her face.

                  “Please don’t kiss me again.” She puts a hand up in front of her mouth.

                  “Gabriel, please. Please stop.”

                  “I don’t have the mark, Raphael. I never had the mark. Ever.” She insists. “Examine me however you like just… no funny stuff okay? This is worse than that practical joke you played on me with Luci and Michael. Seriously.”

                   “Remove all clothing and jewelry.” He doesnt take his hands off her so she can’t vanish again. “For the examination.”

                    “Fine.” She rolls her eyes and snaps herself nude, holding onto his arm to keep her balance, since she removed her prosthetic in the bargain. “See, no wards, no tattoes, no charmed clothing or jewelry.  are you happy?”

                     “What in the name of all that is… WHERE IS YOUR LEG!” He steps back, staring at it. “And why has your uterus been used?” The question just makes her start laughing. “You had a child? How did you keep this from me?” He points accusingly at her stretchmarks.

                       “Yes! And I didn’t keep it from you, you knew before I did. Ihad her with my real non-incestual husband. Her name’s Michelle Cadence Singer, Shelly for short. She’s three and if Luci’s erased her from existance with whatever he’d pulled you’d better believe I\m going to fix whatever he did even if I have to fight all of heaven single handedly to do it!” She snaps her clothing back on. Raphael just stares at her leg. “Don’t even think about it. I like my body the way it is and I won’t have you fucking with it.”  
                     “Gabrielle, “He takes a shaky breath. “Did you look in the mirror?”

                     “What mirror?”

                     “The broken mirror in the abandoned men of letter’s bunker. Before it broke did you look in it?”

                     “Given I hit it face first, probably.” She covers her face. “I can’t believe I’m the devil. How the hell did that happen?”

                      “He hesitated.” Raphael’s eyes darken at the memory.

                      “Hesitated?”

                      “When the darkness wanted him, he hesitated and you.. she.. Gabriel, like the foolish impulsive child she was laughed and called her an idiot. That didn’t she see father was tricking her into taking the most useless one of them? That Helel was nothing but an empty glass, pretty but you can’t see Pretty in the darkness. That he was worthless apart from the light. That if she wanted something she should take Gabriel,. because she had all the songs and you don’t need to see to enjoy them. What’s more, songs are all different and changing all the time while Helel would always just be the same old thing even if she could manage to see him.

                      “Helel did try to stop it, convince the darkness to take him but it didn’t work when she saw that he got dinner and dimmer the further from the light he got. We didn’t know about the plan, Only Father and Helel did. When Gabriel interfered.. there was no other choice. Michael… she didn’t even try to stop you. Not a motion, not a word. She didn’t even try. Of course neither did father, not really.” He clenches his fists. “It caused her so much pain. She wasn’t made to bear it, and she wouldn’t give it to Helel who was because she loved him far more than he deserved. I could take the pain, the darkness away, even just a little, at least enough to give her relief, but it always came back, quicker and quicker each time, stronger and stronger eating away at her.  They didn’t understand, I tried to tell them how close she came to just breaking apart over and over again, but they wouldn’t listen.”

                       “So I’m evil. Pure evil, the face of evil.” Gabriel looks down at her leg and puts her boots on. The red leather thigh highs don’t seem at appealing as they one did for some reason.

                        “No. Selfish, reckless, destructive. impulsive, cruel at times, shortshighted, yes. And maybe as the pain builds, she grows mean, but I still see the little sister I knew before in there and I do my best to bring her out. No matter what terrible things she does, how.. ridiculous her pranks, how frustrating.” Raphael brushes back some of her curls from her face and kisses her tenderly on the forhead. At least this kiss is much less disturbing than that other one. “I will never forsake her.   
Ever.”

                       “You don’t believe a word I said, do you?” Gabriel sighs.

                       “No. You almost fooled me, though.” He smiles at her. “But I can’t imagine any version of you would ever name your child after Michael.”

                        “Well, we’ll never be each other’s favorite sibling to be sure, but we’re getting along so much better than we have in a long time.” Gabriel rubs the back of her neck. “And to be honest, if she hadn’t been dead at the time, I probably wouldn’t have, or at least made it a middle name. Um, oh, I know.”She holds up a finger. “Get Miti. She can let you know I’m telling the truth.”

                        “Miti?”

                       “Amitiel? The angel of truth?”

                       “Bree, You killed Amitiel on the eighth day.”

                       “What?”

                       “Before the trial. It was a stupid panicked response to try and get away with what you did in the garden. What all your little pranks caused. It just made things so much worse, so much that even your defender couldn’t save you. I’ll try to play along if I have to, Bree. But please, please be careful. Don’t even go near Michael. If she thinks you got rid of the mark she will kill you. Instantly and without mercy. You know this. Gabriel, please. If you’re in pain don’t hide it from you, I’ll help you, you know I will. Together we can bear it.”

                        Gabriel just gives another sigh ang covers her face with her hands. How the hell is she going to get out of this mess.

                        “Wait.” She looks up. “If I have the mark, that means the darkness is still trapped. So dad…” Before Raphael can stop her, she takes off agian. Who knows if he’s still playing the same person he was before But she can check at least. He’ll have to help with this, won’t he? Who knows what this means for the darkness. Because even if the Gabriel who’s supposed to be here had it, she doesn’t. Who knows how long it’ll hold as things are. The other Gabriel has to still exist somewhere though, since the darkness wasn’t just freed. Which means they’re both just probably in the wrong thread of existence or something, the wrong reality. Their Father probably didn’t plan for that any more than he planned for Gabriel to be the one who held the mark.

  


                       “What the hell did you do to your hair?” Babby exclaims as Mule opens the door. It’s not like him to sleep in, so Ellen sent Bobby up to knock and check on him.

                     “My..” He puts his hand up to head. It’s long, wavy, he turns pale and has to go sit down.

                     “You okay, kid?” Bobby quickly comes into the room.

                   “Check the wards.” He says and quietly mutters to himself, “I’m fine. I’m fine. It’s just my hair. I’m fine.”

                   “Sam, Mule.” Bobby corrects himself, kneeling down before him. “The wards are fine. I can see them all. I checked them this morning.”

                    “She was here. Check them again.”

                   “Who? Who was here?”

                   “Gabriel, the nightingale. She was here. Sat right on my bed. Just looking through my things like she’d never seen them before, not even for anything. She made my hair grow. I don’t know why. She didn’t say. I didn’t ask. And then she just… left. She talked to me and left. I thought it was just a dream, you know, a surreal nightmare. I think… I think she said she loved me.” The look of utter confusion is par for the course when it comes to people talking about their encounters with the devil.

                  “You need to get your angel here. Now.” Bobby says sternly. “I don’t like this whole vessel thing, but dammit he takes care of you at least.”

                  “No. she wasnts him here, in me, for some reason. She has something planned for him. I won’t risk it.”

                  “Fine, then. Do you want to go in the safe room? I can call Mary and we’ll try to figure something out. Okay?”

                  “Okay.” It’s proof of how shaken he is that he just agrees. After his time in Iraq he can’t usually stand confined spaces like the safe room,unless he absolutely has to. “Just… let me go to the bathroom, take a shower, maybe take care of my hair and I’ll head down. Thanks.”

                   “Any time.” Bobby pats his shoulder. “I’ll bring you down something to eat.” Sam nods and gets his things together. If the wards won’t keep her out, the safe room won’t either. He’ll just be trapped. As long as he’s around, no one is safe. An unfortunate thruth, but inescapable.

                    

                 Gabriel lights down on the front porch of the old house. It’s impossible that it’s him still. After all why would it be? Why would their father have left heaven if Helel never fell? He is and always would be their father’s favorite. He must have been relieved when it was Gabriel who took the place of his shining star. He certainly wouldn’t eat himself up over it. She was just reckless right? Acted without thinking, without permission or approval, against his will.

                  And even if it is, why would he help her anyways? Or even answer the door. Is he still a prophet? Also does that mean Michael or Lucifer  would come down to kill her if she, the current face of pure evil, went near him? Well, if so maybe one of them will listen. Maybe one of them will believe her. If not, she’s still faster than any of them.

                  “Hello?” The door cracks open.

                  “Hi, dad.” Gabriel puts her hands in her pockets. “Can I come in? I kind of need to talk to you.” The man who does look like Chuck Shurley, down to the robe and everything just stares at her a moment. “Please?”

                   “I think you have the wrong house.” He says regretfully.

                 “I have the wrong frickin thread of existence, dad. That’s why I need to talk to you.” She sighs. “Look,” She grabs the door as he starts to close it again and rips it open off the chain. “I’ll fix that. Wether you’re my father or not or don’t know you are or are just pretending for some reason. Can I please just come in and say my peice and then I’ll go.”

                  “Can I stop you?” The man backs away.

                  “I don’t know.” She shrugs. He looks at the broken chain lock a minute and waves her inside.

                   “Why do you think I’m your father?” He stands by the door. The place is kind of a mess, alot like hers when she was human and had her own apartment. Of course she was kind of depressed, too. She snaps it clean for him. “How do you know where everything goes?” He at least has experience with the supernatural, or thinks he’s high or dreaming or something. If he’s not god incarnate that is.

                    “I don’t. It’s just all in drawers and trash is gone. You’ll still have to look for stuff but at least it looks nicer, right? Less cluttered? And you were my dad in my thread.”

                   “Your thread.” He looks slightly confused as she ambles around the room.

                   “Yeah, way back when, you gave me this lecture on the nature of existence and how every decision that can be made has been made and how it breaks off existence into the different threads and pretty much means there are infinite realities. I think I really wasn’t paying attention the way I should have been.” She plops down in one of the old recliners. The scruffy man cautiously sits down across from her on the arm of the couch and crosses his arms expectantly.

                  “So, what do you have to say?”

                  “Well, I guess I’m sorry first and formost. I’m sorry I ran away. I’m sorry I didn’t behave the way i should have. I’m sorry I didn’t… become who I was supposed to be. I’m trying but I know I’m probably not doing all that great. Anyway I know that even if you are my dad, there’s no point in asking, but I kind of need your help. I don’t know what happened or how I got here, but we just got Lu… Helel back and the darkness was gone and we were putting things together and starting to fix things and I’m kind of afraid of what the other me will do over…” She stops talking as the enormity of it hits her. “Sam… Our daughter. Dad, please. If something happens to my daughter, I don’t know what I’ll do. If she hurts them.. Please, you have to help me get back there. I have to save them.”

                “Raphael doesn’t believe me, he thinks I’m her and playing some game or trick and I can’t go to anyone else because apparently I’m the devil and Miqa will kill me on sight and I don’t know why and I literally have no one else to turn to but you. Not that I expect much. You didn’t even show up to my wedding in the thread I didn’t take the mark and turn evil. And you weren’t even actually dead like I thought you were. But you know, it’s fine. I’m a pain in the ass, I know.

                   “If you are really who I think you are, please help me. Anything you could do would be great. I just.. I don’t really know where else to turn.” She looks down at her hands. ‘Okay, I can put the house back the way it was if you want.” She looks around. “Minus the trash.”

                    “No, that’s okay. It does look better and I don’t know where anything is anyways. Look, I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t have any answers for you, but when in doubt.. pray. Go find a church, a nice big beautiful church, go inside listen to a service sing take communion, and send up a prayer. Nothing’s as bad as it seems and if your father was worth anything you’ll have all you need to make it through whatever it is you’re going through. If not, then his help’s not really worth having is it?” He says gently.

                   “Anyways.” Chuck shifts up a little straighter. “All children are a pain in the ass. It’s what children do. It’s how they stop being children. No father is ever going to stop loving or caring about his kids just because they’re difficult or don’t do what they should. They just don’t. You have a daughter, right? Is she always obedient and easy to deal with?”

                   “No, of course not, she’s three. Has her Aunt miqa’s temper too. Her name’s Michelle, Shelly for short. Would you like to see some pictures?” Gabriel takes out her phone. “Isn’t she adorable? She takes much better pictures now.”

                   “She’s a cutie. She looks just like you. She even has your eyes.” He smiles at the pictures.

                   “Her dad’s lips, though. Look, there they are, she’s such a daddy’s girl, another thing she gets from Auntie Miqa.”

                   “Is she especially tiny or is he like a giant?” He tilts his head at the picture.

                   “No, he’s that tall. It’s hillarious we had to have steps near the altar at our wedding and I stood a few up just so I wouldn’t be saying my vows into his belly button. Hold on. I have those pictures too.” She laughs. “You should hvae been there, he actually rickrolled me with his wedding vows, it was awesome.”

                   “He did?” Chuck moves over closer to her to see the pictures on her phone.

                   “Yep. And cas concluded his best man speech by throwing me off the boat. It was just absolutely perfect. Miqa gave me away, had a dance off with Maui at the bachelorette party, totally kicked his ass. It was great. She erased all the pictures and videos I took of that one. A little camera shy. He deleted the pictures from the prank war too. Oh, I have to show you that album, too.”

                   “What’s this phone?”

                   “It’s an iPhone. by apple?”

                   “Apple?”

                   “There’s no Apple Computers here? No iPods, iPads, Macbooks? Well, doesn’t matter, they’re all on the sim disk.” She waves it off and turns the phone so he can see better. That's Raphael. He was one of my bridesmaids." Gabriel points out. 

         "I see." he says politely and gives her his full attention.


	7. Her Father Rejoices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex has the baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case I haven't mentioned before. Buccaneer's Bounty is an in universe version of Pirate's Booty a cheese covered puffed corn snack.

            "Hello?" Sam picks up the phone. "Oh, um, Hey, Raph. How's... What?" He sits up. "No, we're good. Cas can bring us. Thanks, we'll be right there... No, I mean me Cas and Dean. I don't know where she is. I can't get ahold of her. I'll keep trying though. Yes, still! No, I don't know." Dam takes a breath and covers his eyes. "I'll see you soon." Dean!" He rushes out of the bedroom. "Alex is having the baby! Cas..."

            "Raphael told me. Are you ready or do you need a moment?" Castile comes out of Dean's room adjusting his tie.

            "Yeah, just a few minutes, though. He said she's just starting labor, but it's looking like the real thing this time. Have you heard anything from Babe at all?" Sam can't help but ask, though he knows that if he had, he'd have told him.

            "No. She's not responding to anyone. I think she's cut herself off completely. As far as I can tell she hasn't told anyone where she was going."

            "Are Michael and... his brother there yet? Or are they staying back with Shelly?" Sam tries to focus on something else. 

            "I'm not certain. I'll look for Gabriel once I bring you to the hospital. She may just be on another plane and got distracted." Cas attempts to soothe him, but after the first year, she's actually pretty good about letting Sam know where she's gone, or that she's going.

            "I can't believe she ditched you on your anniversary like that without saying anything. What's the penalty for something like that? I assume you have one." Dean calls  as he puts his boots on. "And that it's not one for the penalty box."

            "Do you really want me to answer that question?" Sam asks wryly. "Alright. I'm ready."

             "I'm sure she's fine. "Dean attempts to reassure him.

            "She'd better not be." Sam replies darkly. Castiel takes hold of his and Dean's shoulder and brings them to the garage at the Souix Falls hospital.

             "I'll be back as soon as I can." Cas vanishes.

             "I can't beleive Alex is having a baby." Dean comments as they sign into the maternity ward. "I feel so damn old."

             "You are."

             "Shut up."

              "Why don't you both shut your mouths? This is a hospital." Claire glares at them. "You can say a quick hello but I wouldn't get too cozy, the contractions are speeding up. I'm going to go get her some water or something."

               "We'll be good." Dean crosses his heart and walks into the room. Raphael is there holding Alex's hand, Jody is holding the other hand. Each with an arm around her back pacing the room with her.

               "How's it going?" Dean asks awkwardly as they stop walking for a second.

               "Well, it'll be over by tomorrow so there's that." Alex says after a moment.

               "Shouldn't you be lying down?" Dean tilts his head slightly.

               "Lying down during child birth is one of the most phenomenally stupid things modern medicine has come up with."

               "This actually helps with the contractions." Alex confesses.

               "Do you need anything?" Sam rubs the back of his neck.

               "A tranquilizer gun?" Is Alex's dry response.

               "Can't you get an epidural or something?" Dean's question makes her laugh a little.

                "No, to shoot Claire. She's driving me insane, and Raphael pretty much just lets her get away with every thing."

                "She's just concerned." Raphael demures. "And she's being almost pleasant to me. I don't want to ruin that."

                "She keeps asking me questions when I'm having a contraction and the last thing I want with a contraction is to answer fucking questions." Alex grits her teeth. "Alright. How close was that one?"

                  "Two hundred sixty four seconds. You're averaging four minutes now."

                  "Will they give me the damn epidural yet?"

                  "I think so. Would one of you two gentlemen get the nurse?" 

                  "I'll take care of that. And I'll keep Claire occupied. We'll go get you something to eat afterwards." Jody gives Alex a kiss on the cheek.

                  "Thank you." She sighs.

                  "C'mon." Sam heads out, pulling Dean along with him.

                  "Excuse me, nurse? Her contractions are every four minutes. " Jody waves down the nearest nurse. "Room 616? Ms. Jones?"

                  "Already? Thank you. If you'll go to the waiting room, please." She ushers them off.

                   "Daddy!" Shelly runs over from the benches, and jumps up at him.

                   "Hey, punkie." He catches her up in his arms and taps her nose. "Are you having fun with Aunt Luci and Uncle Michael?"

                   "Yes, except for breakfast. They do not know how to make a decent omlette." She shakes her head sadly.

                    "Raph's making us fend for ourselves which is not all fair to my little song. Is it Shelly-belly?" Luci asks.

                    "I bought donuts and cereal."  Michael protests.

                     "Donuts are not breakfast." Shelly scolds him with a little shake of the finger. "And cereal is only part of a balanced breakfast." It's hard for Sam not to laugh at her reproachful little scowl. "Daddy, I'm hungry. I want ice cream."

                      "How about a salad?" He teases.

                      "An ice cream salad?" She gives him a hopeful, slightly mischievous smile. He just shakes his head. "Where's mommy?" She looks around for the parent who can and will snap treats out of thin air.

                       "Actually I need to talk to your Aunt and Uncle about Mommy. Why don't you go get something to eat with Uncle Dean?" Sam suggests. A second best for good things to eat. 

                       "Yeah!" She half hurls herself out of her father's arms over to her uncle, but stops short as her father's caller moves. "Oh, daddy, you have a little birdie on your neck." She pulls down his shirt to look. "It's so pretty. Hello pretty purple bird. Cheep cheep cheep!" She wasn't it.

                        "How does a pizza sound?" Dean takes her anyway.

                         "Is that a nightingale?" Luci tilts her head a little. Sam just puts his collar back up.

                         "Is everything alright?" Michael straightens up in his seat as soon as Shelly is out of earshot.

                         "I don't know." Sam reluctantly moves closer.  'I can't find Gabriel. She just left when I was sleeping a day or two ago and I haven't heard a word from her. No one has. Her phone's out of service and I'm kind of getting a little worried."

                         "And those oddly fresh bruises shaped like a nightingale on your neck?" Luci points out almost accusingly.

                          "I woke up with it a few days ago. It's not healing. I don't know what's going on."

                          "Well, have Raphael take a  look at that when he has a moment." Luci picks up a magazine, not too concerned. "She's probably just feeling restless. She's even less fond of confinement than I am."

                           "Did you have a fight?"

                           "No.Not at all. We were doing fine. We had the bunker to ourselves, she had some of Raph's wine. Enough to make her slip on the sheets and fall onto that old mirror and break it. But that wasn't exactly a big deal. Then when I woke up she was gone and I had these... this.." Sam puts a hand to his neck.

                            "These?" Michael of course picks out the pertinent word.

                            "Yeah." Sam squirms uncomfortably. "There's more on my back." The confession perks Luci's intrest slightly and Michael gestures to the nearest restroom.

                            Gabriel's probably just having a mid marriage crisis or something. Maybe they'll get divorced and he can see about setting her and Raph up. Might be a little harder now that Alex is having a baby Raphael considers his. Not that Luci really dislikes Alex. The human did manage to get heaven to be at least moderately accepting of his relationship with Michael, so he technically owes her, but not so much that he owes her his brother. She only saved them some minor inconveniences. But she is human and she is going to die eventually and unless Raphael plans on staying in heaven with her. And what if she decides to reincarnate? What's he going to do then? Stalk her soul? Give her new life the old life's memories? Sure Luci might do that, but Raph's not really that kind. The same with Sam.

                             It's such a short amount of time. But it's amazing how little time can stretch so very long in these bodies, though. His stomach growls, not that he's going to eat any of the swill they have here. Hopefully Shelly didn't eat all the Buccaneer's Bounty. Of course she did. Just an empty bag and an empty can of organic soda in the backpack.

                             "Give me to Michelle." Luci demands when Dean answers the phone.

                              "It's me. It was you so I knew it was for me. Hi Aunt Luci, did she have the baby and can we go home now?"

                             "No, Michelle. Did you eat all the Buccaneers Bounty?" He demands.

                              "No." The glib little liar replies.

                              "Then why am I looking at an empty bag?"

                              "Because I ate it all in the car." 

                               "Shelly, honey. If you're going to lie at least be consistant."

                               "I didn't lie!" She protests.

                               "Oh? So saying no when I asked if you ate all the Buccaneer's Bounty wasn't a lie."

                               "No, because there's alot more left." 

                               "Where?"

                               "In the store." In all honesty if it wasn't his food she ate, he'd be laughing his ass off right now and he knows it.

                               "Michelle? Are you stupid?"

                               "No!"

                               "Do you think I am stupid?"

                                "No. You're very smart. You're almost as smart as daddy."

                              "Almost.. "Luci curbs his irritation so as not to get distracted. "Michelle, we both know very well that when I said all the Buccaneers Bounty I meant all of the one int he bag I was bringing to the hospital and not all of the Buccaneer's Bounty in the entire world. I know you know this because I know you are not an idiot and this is not a legal contract that you can loophole your way past. Now I'm hungry and have nothing to eat. What are you going to do about this?"

                               "Ummm, buy you some more when we go to the store?"

                                "That's a good start Michelle, but I'm hungry now."

                                "I could..... bring you a hamburger?"

                                "Do I eat fast food hamburgers?" Luci asks her pointedly.

                                 "No." Shelly sighs. "Oh, but it's the peanut place with the number five. "It's odd how Luci can just picture the girl holding out five fingers splayed wide at this.

                                 "Good, enough, get me that and a bottled water. And for future reference if your lying to get out of trouble, don't try to be twisty about it until you're much older. Keep it simple. Let your no be no and that's it."

                                "Okay. Bye, Aunt Luci. Kissy, Kissy!" Shelly chirps.

                                "Kissy, kissy." Luci smokes a kiss of the phone and hangs up to see Michael giving her an annoyed look, arms crossed. "She ate my Buccaneer's Bounty. The girl needs to learn not to mess with people's food. Mine specifically."'

                                "Actually that's a fairly decent consequence. Except for the fact that Dean's going to have to pay for it. I could have done without the advice on how to be a better liar, but..." Sam sighs, rubbing his neck.

                                 "If she's going to do something she should do it well." Luci looks to Michael. "Everything alright?" He reverts to Enochian. 

                                 "I'm not sure. I'm going to go take back my grace and look for Gabriel. If she arrives here before I find her, let me know." Michael responds in kind, and gives Luci a kiss. "Be nice. I mean it."

                                 "Yes, Ma'am."

                                  "If you could look through the portfolio while you wait..." Michael pulls it out of the back pack.

                                   "Sure." Luci forces a smile and takes it. "When you find her, kick her ass a little for this nonsense, would you?"

                                  "I'll consider it." Michael grins and walks off. Luci looks down at the binder. He can't help but notice Sam's curious glance at it.

                                   "Wedding stuff." He holds it up briefly, avoiding a direct glance at the Winchester.

                                   "Oh, are... you and Shelly having fun?" Of course he would feel obligated to make small talk.

                                   "She wakes very early in the morning. Otherwise yes." He starts to flip through it, but stops at the dresses. Michael's drawn pictures of Luci trying them on. With a few minor adjustments to most of them. Highlights of silver and blue that make all of them looks much better than they did before and more flattering to his figure. The last one was obviously drawn for Shelly as there's a scribbled enochian 'Make Luci Elsa' up on the corner. She's such a little genius, but not smart enough to know how dumb she still is, unfortunately. Michael even has the wild hair style and an ice palace forming around her. Which explains the scribbled A++++++ <3 in the bottom corner. the two of them sit in awkward silence until Dean and Shelly come back with a couple bags from Five Guys.

                                   "Aunt Luci, this one's for you and this one's for you daddy." Shelly climbs up onto the chair between them and hands them each a bag. "Where'd Uncle Michael go?"

                                   "He went to do something with your mom." Luci takes out the burger. "Good job kid." He pats her head.

                                    "Thanks. Oh! Daddy, daddy, look what Uncle Michael drew!" Shelly grabs the binder and hops onto her father's lap, flipping through it. "Look, she's a princess!" Shelly rips out the Elsa picture and shows it to her father and uncle, tossing the binder back on the seat.

                                    "Queen." Luci corrects her.

                                    "Queen? No. You're just a princess. Princess Elsa." Shelly shakes her head.

                                    "Elsa?" Dean smiles.

                                    "Yes. From that movie that made Aunt Luci cry, Frozen."

                                    "It made you cry?" Dean's mouth twitches.

                                    "You know, you've got a big mouth for such a little girl." Luci reaches over to tweak Shelly's nose.

                                    "Yep, and tiny, tiny lips." She pinches her mouth shut. "Is it done? Can we go play yet? I want to go. This is boring. Why do we have to be here? Can I have some of your fried?" Shelly tugs on her father's arm. He just smiles and lets her take a few. Their phone's all beep at once.

                                    "She's here? Who's here?" Dean looks at the text.

                                    "The baby probably." Sam concludes.

                                    "What a sucky birth announcement." Dean raises an eyebrow. Luci privately agrees and eats his burger.

                                    "Can we go home now?" Shelly groans, and drapes herself dramatically over Sam's lap.

                                    "No, we have to go see them."

                                    "C'mon, let's go, Shelly girl." Luci puts the binder back into the backpack and stands up. "We'll go see the baby and get going."

                                    "Are you sure this is ready?" Sam asks.

                                    "Helel." Michael appears. "Don't you want to see the baby?"

                                    "Truthfully?" He wrinkles his nose.

                                    "Shelly?" Michael holds out his arms.

                                    "Fine." She sighs and stand up on her father's lap, leaping off to her uncle. "Where's Mommy?"

                                    "I'm not sure. She didn't tell me where she was going." Michael replies evasively. Luci gets to his feet and starts to the room.

                                    "You'll have to be quiet, she's probably sleeping."

                                    "It's a girl baby? I'M a girl." Shelly gives an indignant scowl, almost offended by the baby's gender.

                                     "So's mommy and Auntie Mitcha." Luci pinches Michael's cheek.

                                     "Yes, we have enough girls. We don't need any more. Why did she have to be a girl?" Shelly crosses her arms.

                                     "I'll bet you're glad that's done with." Luci raps on the door as Alex lays there holding a tiny bundle to her chest. Alex gives them a tired smile.

                                    "What's her name?" Michael asks. Raphael gives them a proud smile.

                                    "Abigail." 

                          


	8. Going to Church

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mule attempts a permanent solution  
> Gabriel tries to give him a different one  
> (mirror)Michael and (mirror)Helel discuss the nightingale's odd behavior

                      Mule sits in the feild staring up at the moon. The truth is that when Helel is using him as a vessel he's more vulnerable than at any other time. And whatever the devil has planned for him requires him to be in it. He can say to himself that he won't break, no matter what she does to him, but the truth is that he's not sure. She knows him too well. And she's not above going after everyone who cares about him.

                       The only solution is to make it so there's no vessel for Hele to use. It'll have to be destroyed. Completely utterly beyond hope of ressurrection. Of course you can't exactly salt nad burn yourself. And Helel and Michael would never let him do it. Nothing can keep them out or away that he knows of. Holy fire can contain them for as long as it burns. Could it keep them out as well? Probably, it would probably burn his body beyond ressurrection as well, not that he particularly wants to burn to death. The sad truth is that there's no one he could trust to burn his remains after he dies. Anyone he could remotely trust at all would either try to stop him or find a way to have him ressurrected, including invading Sheol to get his soul back and that's not even close to what he would want to happen.

                       Of course he doesn't want to die either. Especially not since he traded his soul for a fix one night. He thought she was joking until she actually reached inside his being and marked it. Even then he still just thought it was a bad trip until Helel found him and helped to pull him out of the deep self inflicted well of addiction, ptsd and depression. An eternity int he devil's hands after thwarting her plans. But as she so pointedly asked, doesn't he love Helel?

                      Of course he does. More than anything. He saved him from himself, had faith in him, loved him, refused to just let him slip away.  He's not the only one saved, either. And it isn't as if Helel would never be able to come back to earth. He'd just do what he did before and find those vessels alone, and dying or condemned and after them salvation. They'd never surbibe hosting him, but they weren't going to live regardless and this way they'd be let into heaven. He'd just loose his predctability, be harder to trap.

                      It's better this way. He'd just have to buy a few things. Go to consecrated ground.

 

                     "You have a wonderful life." Chuck says softly as Gabriel shows him the sketches Alex forwarded from Michael a few years ago. "Oh, please get me a copy of these especially that one." He points to the one of him with a World's Greatest Dad mug. She obliges with a snap of the fingers. "Hold on, I'm putting these on my fridge." He goes to the kitchen breifly.

                     "I know I do. My brother in law leaves alot to be desired but you need a little bad to appreciate the good, right? So.... anything you want to say, or is your advice still just to go to church?" Gabriel glances over at him.

                     "My advice? Be yourself. With a little help I think you'll do alright. Pray on it. There's this lovely spot I used to go to. If you're not looking to be around alot of people. I was living in Missouri at the time, but it's this little church, St Joan's Cathedral. It's been abandoned for centuries, but it's still beautiful. A bit of a tourist attraction. Here." He gets up and takes a pamplet out of a drawer.

                      "Huh, looks like someone smote the hell otu of this thing. No, that's lightening. Huh, Gorgeous windows though. So go pray? That's your advice? Who should I pray to? My father? Michael? Helel? Not Raphael things are really rediculously weird with him. It's kind of freaking me out honestly." She confesses.

                      "I can't tell you that. Obviously. I can't tell you what to do, who to love and honor." The man shrugs. "If it's not sincere, the love and respect, it's just completely meaningless. Insulting really.

                       "Well, if you're not my father,  you're doing a damn good imitation." Gabriel rolls her eyes. "Wether you are or not, thank you for listening. Though, either way I have no idea why you have, not that you'd tell me."

                       "You could always ask." Chuck walks back to the living room

                       "What, ask you why?" She almost laughs at the suggestion. "Okay. Why?"

                       "Because." The serene reply makes her just completely crack up. "Look, the point of asking isn't always getting the answers. Sometimes the point is to hear the question. You'll be okay, sweetie. Really you will." He puts a hand on her cheek and kisses her forhead. "I actually have a meeting I have to get ready for. So if you don't mind?"

                        "Oh, no, not at all. Here." She snaps her fingers putting a large kuerig and selection of muffins and pastries on the table.  "Thanks for your time."

                         "Remember, St. Joan's. Of course the Basilica in Baltimore is nice too." Calls as she dissappears, and goes to take a muffice, but changes his mind and grabs the whiskey frot he bottom shelf instead.

                 

                           Oddly enough there's a light on in St. Joan's when Gabriel arrives. It's fairly distant and the stained glass windows are lovely. Is there a fireplace? The light dancing ont he window is from some sort of fire. There are wards and locks and every entrance is blocked. Not that it stops her but it would stop almost anything human and not. Most angels as well, even Michael and Helel by the looks of it. The wards are fairly fresh in the bargain. There's a ring of holy fire burning in a large circle on the marble floors and this Sam is sitting on a bunch of logs with a lit candle in one hand and an empty bottle of pills in the other.  The logs are covered in holy oil.

                          "Sam?" She walks forwards before correcting herself, "I mean, Mule. What are you doing?"

                           "I suppose this ground isn't so consecrated after all." He gives a bitter laugh. His eyes are heavy. "You're too late, you won't get him through me." Well, fuck.  Gabriel freezes time, gets a fire extinguisher and puts out the flames just as the man passes out, the candle is easily snuffed as well. It's fairly easy to get rid of the sleeping pills from his body and lay him down on an old pew.

                           "Honestly? I figured you for a gun, not pills." Gabriel forces lightness in her voice as he opens his eyes again.

                           "Too messy. If i left any peices I could be ressurrected." He says, his voice empty.

                           "I'm fairly sure they could regardless. Raphael can work with surprisingly little. I'm not going to ask why, I'm sure it's because of me. Is there anything I cando to convince you, you don't have to do this?" She rests her head on the back of the folding chair she brings up to sit in. He just stares at her confused.

                           "You mean aside from giving me back my soul?" He asks dryly.

                           "You sold your soul to me?" She can't help but be surprised and straightens up at this.

                           "I didn't think they really existed at the time. There were alot of things i didn't know about, like angels, the devil, that god once actually existed." He looks away.

                           "Okay, so is there a contract. Or did I just mark it?"

                           "A contract? As in paper and ink? No, you reached inside of me and did... something that no one can undo. Don't you know this? What game are you playing now?" Mule snaps covering his face.

                           "Lie down. I'll see what I can do." She puts a hand on his head putting him back to sleep. Can she even undo a claim that another her made? It's worth trying at least, though if she can't... A Sam who doesn't believe in souls, who has no faith at all. How the hell did this happen? She reaches inside as gently as she can and finds it quickly. It's just her usual signature and thankfully, it's easily removed. The address in his wallet is for Lawrence, Kansas. The house that in her thread burned to the ground. It's easy enough to bring him back there, and put him in the room that looks most like it would be his.

                         "Hello?" A small voice is at the door as she removes the weapons from the room.

                          "Hello." She turns and kneels down in front of a young toe-headed boy, not much older than Shelly, maybe a year or so. "I'm Gabrielle. What's your name?"

                         "Bobby John." He peers past her to the bed, "Is Uncle Sammy okay? Did he relapse?"

                         "No, he did not relapse. He's just sleeping. Is your mommy home?"

                         "No, she's out hunting with Daddy's cousin. This is Grandma's house. She's giving Mary Ellen a hair cut." Bobby John explains, his fingers in his mouth. 

                         "Did she already cut yours? If not tell her not to."  Gabrielle reaches out to ruffle the little golden waves. He shakes his head. "You look alot like your uncle. But with your father's eyes."

                          "And freckles." He announces proudly. "I'm gonna be a policeman when I grow up just like daddy."

                           "Can you do something for me, cutie?" She tweaks his none. "When Uncle Sammy wakes can you tell him that I gave him back that thing he asked me to? Think you can remember that?" The boy nods. "And go tell your grandma that Uncle Sammy is here and that he has to make sure not to let him leave. Oh, hold on." She snaps up some fuzzy cuffs and cuffs him to the bed post. "Here's the key." She puts it in his little hand. "Thanks BJ." Gabriel slips into the ether to watch invisably for a moment.

                          "Grandma! Uncle Sammy's home!" The boys calls running down stairs. "A beautiful angel brought him! She called me BJ just like daddy does!" Aww.

                          "Uncle Sammy!" An almost identical blonde girl with half cut blonde hair runs up the stairs and jumps onto her uncle, making him startle awake.

                          "Smidge?" He blinks and tries to sit up but his wrists are cuffed to the bed. Smidge, that's just adorable. Despite his faults Deano makes cute kids. She almost regrets that he's never going to have any. Maybe She can talk Cassie into being a girl for a bit.

                           "Mommy's out looking for you. You naughty man." The girl scolds. "Gramma! Uncle Sammy needs a hair cut, too.'

                           Unfortunately, Gabriel can sense Michael coming. If she's the devil and Michael has not been through therapy yet then there's really only one way it could go. And she can't get home. If she's dead or locked in a cage or something. She'll have to regroup go somewhere and think what to do.

 

                            "What's happening? Is my Mule alright?" Helel accosts his sibling as soon as Michael returns to heaven.

                            "I'm uncertain. If it weren't for two very real things. I'd think he'd had a complete mental collapse." Michael walks past him to the throne room. "Perhaps now you'll be willing to dosomething about Gabriel."

                             "What did she do?"

                             "Walked right past your words against evil, and also onto consecrated ground. St. Joans to be precise." Michael sits on the throne, a mass of frustration, her flames burning a barely contained while as they so often do in regards to their wayward sister. "Go see your vessel. I think he'll let you in now. I'll take care of things here.

                             "You have to give me more information than that, Mitcha." He frowns. "It's not possible that she did either of thsoe things and what two things did she do?" Michael clearly does not want to tell him. "Michael please don't make me go in blind." Helel reaches out to caress his big sister's check. She sighs and rests her head on her hand, covering her eyes. His feather's are all ruffled. And of course he's giving her that look she can rarely resist all sad and pleading.

                             "She grew his hair out and gave him back his soul." Michael mutters... For once Heaven's shining star is speechless.

                             "I'm sorry, what did you say?" He finally asks.

                             "She grew his hair out about shoulder length and gave him back his soul." Michael repeats slowly.

                             "She what?"

                             "Grew his hair, returned his soul." The complete and utter confusion on Helel's face makes Michael smile despite himself.

                             "I don't understand."

                             "There's a first time for everything, isn't there." Michael tries not to laugh.

                             "I'd ask if you were joking but you don't have a sense of humor." Helel narrows his eyes at his sister who just crosses her arms and gives him a dark look.

                             "Have you found anything about that mirror yet?"

                             "The librarian is looking up the enscription ont he back on the glass. I do need to ask him about what happened exactly. You didn't try to interrogate him did you? You know my vessel doesn't like you."

                              "He was foolish and being trapped in that... horrible cage didn't exactly improve my temper. You deserve a better vessel than that broken, damned drug addict." Michael tightens her grip on the arms of the throne.

                              "Mitcha.. Mitcha it's okay." Helel kneels down before her placing his hands on hers. "You're out and you're never goiung back into that thing again. No one is."

                              "It's too bad. I would have loved shoving her in." Michael looks away. She's going to kill her. Gabriel will break eventually and give the mark to Helel and since she can't be imprisoned for her crimes, she'll have to be killed for them. Helel wasn't thinking that far ahead. He forgets Michael doesn't flout the rules the way he does. There is no redeeming their sister, no matter what. And she has to be stopped.

                              "She's not the one who pushed you in, Michael. You know that. Raphael did."

                              "It wasn't his fault. She.. tricked him. Corrupted him. It's not his fault it's hers. Every angel who abandoned us is because of her."

                              "Well you were always telling him to take care of her, watch out for her. Are you really surprised the stubborn brat went too far? Even that stupid useless thing knew how cruel locking her away would be. I begged you not to, Michael. Knowing what it was like how long two thousand years was in there, do you really, really wish that on her." Helel asks gently.

                               "More than I ever have before." Is the surprisingly cool reply. Helel can tell she means it as her flme are tinging blue.

                               "You blame her for corrupting Raphael, but have you forgotten what corruped her? And why? If you can blame her for his actions. The blame for her is mine." Helel storms off in a huff of fog like the over dramatic primadonna he is.

                               It was not his fault. He hesitated one second and Gabriel just jumped in without any regard for anyone's plans or orders, a chaotic undisciplined irresponsible trouble maker from her very creation. Michael has never understood why their father made Gabriel the way he did. Tormenting humanity, teasing, pranking, playing with it seducing them to wanton self destructive hedonism all the while claiming she loves them. She never should have interfered. Not that she knew, not that any of them knew what Helel and their father were planning, but that's why you obey without question, why you have to have faith. 

                                None of this would have happened if Helel had been given the mark as was supposed to happen. He'd been made to handle it. He never would have succumbed the way Gabriel did. Everything would have been so much better. If anyone should have stepped forwards, it should have been Michael, not Gabriel. She should have been the one trying to protect him, but Gabriel took that away from her. In just one second. And what's worse she stole Raphael from Michael as well, his love, his loyalty. She corrupted him defiled him in ways no angel should ever have to bear. She took Heaven's kindest, most loving angel, and used his compassion to wharp him beyond recognition, her precious little song. Michael will never, could never forgive her for that. Never.


	9. The Green Eyed Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shelly is unimpressed wtih her cousin.  
> Bree is in for an unpleasant surprise  
> Miqa takes her little sister in hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. I had surgery on my shoulder so couldn't type or write for a bit. Thanks for waiting.

                 "She's adorable." Sam smil;es at the little pale baby in Raphael's arms.

                 "True and you can't usually say that about newborns." Luci examines the infant from a distance. A human baby. There are a million like it. This one's not exavctly special in any way at all. Her head is oddly round though for being pushed out of such a tiny hole. Don't they usually squish a little? That must have hurt like hell. Luci notices his little brother scowling at him. "Yeah, no, great job, you made a great human baby. She's not missing any peices or arnything." Luci gives him a thumbs up.

                 "You know you're more than welcome to leave. You don't have to stand here being underwhelmed and unimpressed by the miracle of creation, like the arrogant brat you are."

                 "Shelly, you want to see the baby?" Sam asks. Michael looks at his neice's face as she cooly eyes the infant in her father's arms.

                 "What does it do?" She asks suspiciously.

                  "Eat sleep poop cry." Luci informs her. "At least for the first few months."

                  "She's new and still growing. She'll do more things later." Sam quickly adds. 'She'll learn to walk and talk and do things. It's very exciting. Hi, Abby, I'm your Uncle Sam."

                  "No you are not her uncle. You're not Uncle Raphael's brother or Miss Alex's." Shelly scowls indignantly. "You''re my daddy and that's it."

                   "She's Raphael's daughter and Raphael is my brother in law, that means since I married mommy they became my siblings too. That's why I'm her uncle." Sam explains. "I can be your daddy and her uncle at the same time."

                    "No! No, put it back. You can't have one." Shelly commands. "It's too much work. and too expensive."

                    "Well, this is familiar." Michael looks over to Luci a little pointedly.

                    "Shelly, I am a grown man and yoru father. You can't forbid me to have a neice." Sam says sternly, kneeling down in fromt of her.

                    "Well if you can have a neice why can't I have a puppy." Shelly challenges. 

                     "Because you are three, little girl." Shelly just crosses her arms and scowls. "And we don't need a puppy."

                     "We don't need a baby either." Shelly mutters in enochian. Michael just clears his throat and she looks down.

                     "Excuse me, she's getting hungry." Raphael brings her back to Alex as his daughter gives a slight coo. "And her name's not Abby, it's Abigail."

                     "Can we go now?" Shelly's voice is almost a whine.

                     "I have something I need to do. Is it alright if Shelly goes home with her uncle?" Michael looks to Sam, then to Luci. Sam's a bit hesitant at the suggestion, but gives a slow nod as Shelly gives him a pleading look. 

                      "Just for today, " 

                      "Finally!" Luci scoops the unhappy toddler up. "Come on my little song, lets go take over the world!" he lifts her high in the air.

                       "Yeah!" She raises her hands enthusiastically. "Plam D!" Sam looks instantly worried and looks to Michael who waves off his concern.

                      "Plan D!" Luci grins pausing before he goes. "Hold on, kiss Daddy goodbye first. "He brings Shelly over to her father.  The girl leans over to give him a big kiss on the cheek."

                      "Mwahhh! Bye daddy!" Shelly hugs his neck and gives him a wave when Luci takes her away.

                      "Bye, daddy." Luci waves too, with a sly grin and walks off. Michael's reassuring gesture feel slightly less reassuring. 

                      "Plan D?"

                      "It's... don't worry. It doesn't violate her probation in any way." Michael's tries to reassure him.

                      "That's not exactly comforting, Michael."

                      "Where are they going?" Dean jogs up from the bathroom as Michael dissappears. "Really wish they wouldn't do that in public places."

                      "He's searching for Gabriel." Sam watches as Luci puts the girl on his shoulders. "So Shelly's going to be staying with just her Uncle until he's back."

                       "What? Michelle alone with Lucifer and your calling your wife Gabrielle? What has she done and are you getting divorced?"

                       "Dean. Don't. I'm going to go make some calls." Sam walks out of the wing.

                       "Is something wrong?" Raphael asks and Dean shakes his head at his retreating brother.

                       "Your psycho little sister's MIA. We're not sure why. Is that the munckin?" He nods to the baby in Alex's arms.

                       "That's my daughter, Abigail, yes. Abigail Jodie Jones." Raphael smiles at the fidgeting pair.

                       "I forgot how small babies are. Oh, there we go." Dean quickly turns around as Alex starts to nurse her. "Congrads. "Um, Cas is out looking for her and so's Michel so you don't have to worry yourself. You know, just stay here with Alex and AJ."

                       "Her name is Abigail." Raphael lets his annoyance seep through, not that he actually expects Dean Winchester to pay attention. Hopefully Sam will.

                      "You're never going to keep people from giving her nicknames, Raph." Alex give him a laughing smile. "All you can do is decide on one you hate the least."

                      "I've got to get back to the school. I'm still teaching, it sucks, so sorry to leave you two.  You guys made a cute kid." Dean salutes. "You want anything when I come back?"

                       "No, I'm fine, thanks. I need a little rest anyway." Alex sighs and leans back into the reclining hospial bed. " This thing is going to spoil me so bad."She smiles down at the baby.

                      "I don't know why it's so diffucult to just address people by their given name. Abigail is hardly a tongue twister." Raphael grouses and walks back over to them, sitting on the edge of the beside Alex sp he can look at his daughter's face, giving the infant his finger to hold. She's so tiny. Just a little speck of a little speck of perfection.

                      "Is everything alright out there?"

                      "Yes, Just Gabriel causing trouble again. If she doesn't come to see our child soon, she'd better be in trouble or I won't intercede on her behalf this time when Michael finds her."   Raphael scowls.

                       "That's kind of harsh." He hears the wayward angel behind him.

                       "Hey, Bree." Alex smiles at her. Raphael turns around to see Gabriel standing there in shorts ballet flats and elbow length gloves for some odd reason. she looks slightly annoyed.


	10. Truth is stranger than fiction.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mirror Cas is confused.  
> Mirror Helel appeals to his little sister again, is taken aback by her response.

              As she assumed, wherever she is, the abyss is still nothing more than the entryway into nothingness.Death is still at times, cold and unforgiving. But there’s peace here. She forgets how much she missed it. How soothing.

               “Gabriel.” Castiel seems to have followed her here, oddly enough.

               “Can I help you?” The question seems to take him by surprise. “Castiel,” She turns to face him. “What are you doing? Why are you following the devil? What the hell happened to you? You are a good angel. You love humanity. Don’t you?”  He looks a bit uneasy, as if he’s about to be caught in some sort of trap but he doesn’t know which kind or how to avoid it.

               “I’m here to protect you. To help keep you safe.” He says evasively.

               “Protect me? I’m an archangel. What could I possibly be in danger from that you could possibly handle?” Gabriel crosses her arms.

               “Nothing. But I can provide a distraction, distract a blow, give you that millisecond you need to get away or gain an advantage. I’m your shield.” He says simply, not answering her first questions of why.

              “So, heaven is trying to kill me?”

              “No, they want to contain you. they can’t kill you without releasing the darkness, you know this.”  He frowns.

              “Why do you care if I’m caged or not? I’m a danger to all of humanity aren’t I? Was I so good to you at one point that it was worth the harm and corruption of those you were built to protect?” Gabriel challenges. Castiel’s clear discomfort at her questioning doesn’t ebb any.

                “I don’t know what you want me to say.” he evades again. People seem to be saying that a lot to her, lately. Gabriel just sighs and pulls her knee up to her chest, turning back to stare out of the abyss. “How did you find this place? I thought Michael and Helel moved it from reach Days ago.”

                “Go back to heaven, Castiel. Turn yourself in, repent, beg forgiveness. They still offer forgiveness don’t they? My freedom is not worth your soul.”

                “I’m an angel, I don’t have a soul.” Castiel replies hesitantly.

                “You know what I mean! You’re better than this. So go just go be better.” 

                “Do..do you want me to fetch Raphael?” The angel asks, unsure of how to respond.

                “No. Tell Raphael to go home, too.” She buries her face in her arms. Not that she’d expect any Raphael anywhere to listen to any Castiel. But it’s clear that there’s nowhere to turn, no one who would trust her that she could trust. She hasn’t felt so alone since she fled and hid in the ocean to escape the fighting. Cutting herself off from all heaven so completely they thought she was dead. And she did very well hiding and tricking everyone she comes across, keeping her true self buried in subterfuge and bitterness. It’s obviously something she’ll have to do again now, but she doesn’t want to. 

                “Gabriel.” The sound breaks through the peaceful emptiness of the abyss as she scoots closer to the edge just to drown out the pain for a little while. “I’m not angry with you, Gabriel.” The sweet familiar tones makes her look back.  

                She’d forgotten how bright and perfect her brother was, in just every single way shape or form. And to see him like this, clearly untainted by darkness, his grace soft and luminous with wings like a rainbow mist of fine droplets in the sun not hard cold piercing shards of ice. Gabriel can’t help herself; she starts to cry. He’s just so beautiful. So pure. The archangel quickly sweeps her up in his arms, cradling and comforting her until all the tears are gone. 

              “I should have known that useless one couldn’t take care of you properly.” Helel sighs, gently kissing Gabriel’s forehead. “You don’t have to bear this pain,little one. You don’t. Just give the mark to me, and all will be well.”

               “Of course, that would solve all the problems, wouldn’t it?” Gabriel gives a wry grin. “So, are you here to bring me in? Cage me? Or are we secretly partners in crime or something.”

                “Gabriel.” He gently cups her face in his hands. “I know you’re fighting this. Harder than you ever has before. I can see your light shining past the darkness. Please, just repent and come home. All will be forgiven. I swear it to you.”

               “Lu.. Brother.” Gabriel stops herself from calling him the wrong name. “How well do you know me? Who I am, what I’ve become?”

              “Better than I know myself.” An arrogant declaration but possible true. The shining star was never the most self aware.

              “ If I’m telling a lie, no matter how believable, would you know it?”

              “Of course.”

              “And if I’m telling you the truth no matter how unbelievable, would you know that too? Would you believe me?”

              “You know I would.” He reassures her.

              “I’m not the nightingale. I’m not the devil. I never was.” Gabriel starts, deciding to try the truth, because why the hell not?

              “No, of course not. You misbehaved but so did they. Calling you the devil is just blaming you for their own bad decisions.”He attempts to comfort her.

              “Wow. That’s remarkably like you.” Gabriel raises an eyebrow. “Okay, no. I’m not speaking metaphorically. I’m not your Gabriel. I don’t even think I’m in the right thread of existence.I never took the mark. I don’t have the mark. And the Gabriel who does is currently in my thread with my family and my husband and my daughter and i need to get us switched back before someone I love gets hurt.’

              “Thread of existence?”

              “Yes, every decision that can be made has been made and reality splinters off into separate threads for each decision. This one splintered when the darkness was defeated apparently. And even just the situation with Raph is really freaking me out, to say the least.” She shifts uncomfortably at the thought. 

              “Show me your arm.” Helel demands. Gabriel pushes her sleeves up and hold out her arms. Helel gently touches the angel’s arms, feeling to the grace below, past any and all illusion that could be there hiding it from him. Gabriel is good at illusions but not better than he is, not this closely. “Gabriel. What have you done?”

              “Nothing, for once. I’m comletely and utterly innocent, as odd as that may sound. I’d be asking Raphael for help, but he says he’s my husband and honestly I’m just really creeped out by that.” She shudders and looks away.

               “Why is your vessel missing a leg? You weren’t yesterday.” Helel notices the prosthetic.

              “Hey! The vessel come this way.”

              “No, it didn’t. Let me speak to your vessel.” Helel demands. “She can verify this.”

              “Hah, no, she can’t. I’m all alone in here. Kali saved my but but kind of at the expense of the original owner. She was in a train wreck and pretty much brain dead as it was, so…” She shrugs. Helel frightens his lips and lets go of the angel.

               “Is this all this is? Just one giant practical joke? Who did you give the mark to? They will break under its strain. It is my responsiblity! The world and all in it will never be safe until I have it as I was meant to.” Gabriel laughs at this, not a little bitterly.

               “Oh, you think so do you? You think that if you took the mark you’d be just fine. It wouldn’t affect you at all right?” She moves away, but as it’s farther from the edge of the abyss, not closer, Helel doesn’t stop her.

               “I was made for it, Gabriel. I was the one father chose.” Helel’s voice softens.  “Do you really want another to suffer the way you have?”

              “You know, it’s funny, not even touched by the darkness and you’re still an arrogant dick.” Gabriel sighs, shaking her head. Helel looks completely taken aback by this.

               “What did you just say to me?” He puts a hand to his chest, vaguely resembling an offended maiden aunt. Though the words make Gabriel’s chest ache and she holds her arms protectively around her ribs.

               “I said… you are an arrogant dick. An egotistical, self absorbed, self centered, arrogant dick. I don’t know why i thought I could get help from you.” Gabriel takes off as Helel just stands there, trying to process what exactly just occurred. His favorite song has never, ever spoken to him in this manner. Never. The one absolute constant redeeming quality if his poor tainted baby sister has always been her complete and utter unwavering adoration of her eldest brother. 

               “Helel” The tiny librarian calls to him. “I need to see you, please.”

               “Yes, sweetness?” Helel pats the pretty little angel’s head as he returns to heaven’s library.

              “I think I found the mirror and the inscription.” She looks up at his brother with the adoration his sister was so completely lacking, soothing his ruffled feather.

              “Good work, Harahel. What would I do without my little librarian?” He takes the papers.

             “It was a cursed mirror that was said to alter all those who looked in it. Some greatly some a little. But it’s supposed to change you with your reflection. Sometimes it’s just a physical change, a mole or freckle suddenly on the other side. The spell on the back of it looks alot like this one. Though I can’t say fo sure, there’s so much missing.” The librarian points at an old spell from  an old book on traversing to different realms. But it requires rituals and it didn’t look like there were any. But since it’s a mirror maybe it just requires an identical image on the other side? You know a mirror image?” The librarian suggests.  “A lot of mirror spells seem to use those kind of things. Here, I have the reference if you’d like to see for yourself. I may have missed something since I’m not as clever as you.”

             “You’re clever enough, more than enough.” Helel gives the angel a gracious smile, the librarian glows under the complement.  “Thank you, Harahel. I don’t know what I would do without you. Now if you’ll excuse me I’ll need my usual study.”

             “Oh, of course.” The angel gives a slight bow and flies back off to her duties. Such a sweet little thing. An absolute useless soldier, but every angel has their strengths.

             Helel doesn’t study the texts very long until Castiel joins him in the library, standing before him waiting permission to speak.

             “There’s something wrong with Gabriel.” Helel says blankly. “What do you know about the mirror?”

             “Not much, I only learned of it as she was about to use it. She doesn’t trust me and I’m fairly certain she knows I report to you.”

             “I wouldn’t be surprised. She’s very clever.”

             “She’s holding my vessel’s daughter hostage to ensure his continued cooperation. Sometimes I think she has real affection for her, but.. if she really gave Samuel back his soul, perhaps she could be convinced to set Claire… Ms. Novak free.”

             “Only Ms. Novak can set herself free. She has to choose the path of righteousness. You know that with her in Gabriel’s sights, her only hope of freedom is death. And then only if she enters heaven. My little Mule refuses to let me back in. If you wish I could use her instead until she wears out. That would guarantee her a place with us.” Helel offers gently.

             “No.” Castiel shakes his head. “Jimmy would never agree to that. I will do my best to help him guide her on the right path, though it’s a more daunting task than it is for most children, given her surroundings. Are you alright, sir? You look upset?” He notices the archangels slight yet persistant frown.

             “She called me an arrogant dick. A… a self centered, egotistical, self absorbed, arrogant dick. Can you imagine…” Helel looks at the lesser angel, clearly offended the very thought. Castiel feels that perhaps he’s been too long in the company of Raphael as he can’t immediately reassure his elder brother that he’s not.

             “You.. are confident and aware of your own skills and prowess… that… may lend itself to being interpreted as such...” Castiel hedges. But Helel isn’t fooled as his feathers harden from a rainbow mist into irritated icicles.

              “We’ve been getting a little too chummy with the useless traitor, I see.” Helel responds cooly. “Remember who’s side you are on, Castiel, who’s angel you are.”

              “Raphael is only doing what you wish me to do. In ways I can’t. I hate to say so , but I believe he’s the only reason she’s lasted this long. Whatever rift has happened between them just now… It’s worrisome.”

              “So if he weren’t around to lean on, she’d be unable to ber it and might consent to giving the mark to the angel it belongs to. “ Helel muses. “Well, something to keep in mind once we find out what exactly happened to our little nightingale. Do you know where she is right now?”

              “Yes.” Castiel takes a breath, a nervous habit picks up from his vessel. “She’s at the vatican looking at Saint Medallions.”

              “She’s what? “Helel’s eye widen. “Did you see her touch them?”

              “Yes. She’s even wearing across and bought a bible.”

              “Impossible.”

              “Maybe, but it’s what I see.” Castiel responds.

              “Go keep watch, and report back to me as soon as you see something of importance. Do not engage her unless necessary.”

               “Yes, sir.” Castiel bows to the viceroy of heaven and departs as unnoticed as he came.

               “Arrogant. “Helel scowls returning to the texts. “Of all the absurd ridiculous nonsense.” he mutters. “Mitcha maybe but me?” That is definitely not his little sister talking.


	11. Plan D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank's to Michael's big mouth Luci is forced to spend Plan D explaining some very embarassing things to his neice.

                    “You know that telling her she needs to be nice to the baby and play with the baby and all that nonsense is only going to make things worse, right?” Luci says looking through nail polish as Michael returns to the apartment. “Which ones?”

                   “I know no such thing.” He leans over and picks out the perfect peach and bashful blush. “They compliment all your outfits.”

                   “Mitcha, do you remember how hard you pushed me to be nice to Raphael and sing his virtues and all that nonsense when he was first made and I didn’t exactly appreciate his existence? All that really did was make me resent him even more. And then you just kept on doing it until I outright hated him.”

                  “Yes, because you’re an attention hogging jealous brat.” Michael pull a chair over. “Fingers or toes?”

                  “Toes they need all the help they can get. Feet are so ugly. And Shelly will want to do it if I don’t have it done before she wakes and no.” He puts them up in Michael’s lap, reclining sideways over the plush recliner.  “And that’s kind of my point exactly, Solomon.” He teases. “So let me handle Shelly’s problem with Abigail. And I don’t  push her like you pushed me, because it’ll have the same effect or making her just stubbornly dig in her heels.”

                  “Very well, unless I see her behavior declining. And Sam and Gabriel are her parents, so their judgement is to be deferred to in this matter.”  Michael starts to apply the base coat. “ Flora fauna or occult symbol?”

                  “Seriously?” Luci looks at him to see that he is in fact serious. “Go where your heart takes you I guess. So, did you find the little truant?” He relaxes a bit, tempted to take a nap himself but it’ll be good to know what ants have gotten into that angel’s pants now. 

                  “Yes,she showed up at the hospital.” He says after a minute. “I don’t understand what’s going on with her. She won’t talk to me about it. She just spouted a bunch of lies and evasions. Gabriel is unharmed and I’m not particularly concerned with whatever damage she causes to her marriage, but if it starts to upset Shelly, I’ll have to have a word with her again.” Michael frowns. Luci rolls his eyes, an unfortunate truth is that their darling niece is not nearly old enough not to suffer from the dissolution of the marriage. Of course, he also doubts that there’s much Gabriel can do that Sam can’t forgive her for once she stops doing it. “How long has Shelly been asleep?”

                 “Not long. We just made it back. Do I’ll have a decent break. She’s as exhausting as her mother. Why couldn’t dad have invented sleep when he made Gabriel? That’s what I want to know.” 

                 “Because we never would have let her stay awake, that’s why.” Michael grins. Luci laughs, having to admit that it was probably the truth. “Alright, why don’t I take off again after I finish your nails to let you and Shelly have a decent amount of time alone together.”

                “Would you? She’ll be so disappointed if we don’t get to plan D.”

                “Yes. I need to talk to Raphael anyway, see my littlest niece and Alex. And I suppose, I should let Sam know his wife is alright.”

                “If you must. Tell him she’s probably just gone stir crazy. You know those fits she used to have in heaven before we were allowed to leave to take on Auntie. I can’t imagine a marriage a child and psuedo-respectability to be any less confining.” Luci ignores the steady, peircing look his fiance gives him, before finishing a few symbols on his big toes. “Ah, the girl symbol, and symbol for venus. that’s sweet, I guess.”

               “That’s no reason to just vanish without a word and lie to me when I just want to know what’s wrong. I thought we were sisters.”

               “Oh, yeah because siblings never lie to each other.” Luci laughs. Michael is not amused. “Look, of all the reasons to lie, Gabriel usually lied to you because she was afraid of what you’d do if she told you the truth.”

               “Is that supposed to be reassuring?” 

               “It’s supposed to be instructive. Just try and reassure her that she doesn’t have to be afraid, she might tell you the truth.” Given that Michael had done just that, he’s not appreciative of the advice.

                “In case you’ve forgotten, Gabriel and I repaired our relationship well before she brought you back. And even if we hadn’t, unlike you, I only ever raised my hand to her once in all of existence.”

                 “You what?” Luci sits upright, slightly longer than necessary. “How could you…”

                 “Are you serious? You know very well you have no right to say anything to me regarding that.” Michael snaps, pushing Luci’s feet off his lap. 

                “Oh don’t I? I was always the one she ran to when you lost your temper, the one she hid behind. She was always afraid of you, Michael.” he angrily reminds him.

                 “Seeing as you’re the one who killed her, you absolutely don’t have the right. And I felt terrible about the whole thing, we reconciled and she should know she doesn’t have to be afraid of me.” Michael retorts, standing up. 

                 “Why would you bring that up? Can you ever let anything go?” Luci demands, trying not to smudge his toenails as he gets to his feet.

                 “Helel, You killed Mommy?” They hear the distressed question from the bedroom door. “ Mommy’s dead?”

                  “No! No, she’s fine, she’s.. that was a long time ago.” Michael starts to attempt to reassure her.  “Your mother is fine now.”

                   “But you love mommy.” Shelly still looks like she’s going to cry. “Why would you do that?” 

                   “I got this, Michael.”  Luci grabs his belt. “I’ve been thinking about how to tell her these things for a while. Though I expected her to be older than three and for it to be someone other my future spouse to put her foot in her big mouth. Now  just  go… talk to Alex or something.” He shoos Michael away and goes over to Shelly who looks up at him with big tired golden eyes and dangerously quivering lips. What’s worse is the clear expectation that her beloved uncle has a good explanation for this that’s keeping the tears at bay. Shit.

                    “Are you sure?” 

                    “Yes. Go away.” And he does or at least slips into the veil. “Shelly girl, it’s okay. Mommy’s okay. Come here and I’ll explain.” Luci kneels down and holds out his arms for his little song. Shelly hesitates a brief moment before running over, but it’s long enough to make him feel like he’s been stabbed in the heart by a thousand knives.  

                    “Was it an accident? Where you playing with things you shouldn’t have?” The hopeful look in her eyes makes him want to lie more than anything, but when she found out the truth it’d hurt their relationship. And he actually cares about that and about her so he can’t.

                    “C’mon let me tell you a story.” Luci picks her up and goes to the cabinets. “It’s a long story so we’ll get snacks.”

                    “Plan D snacks?”

                    “Yep.” Luci picks her up and goes to the cabinets taking out the donuts, danishes, and Ding Dongs, a bag of dill pickle chips, and a couple pieces of devil’s food cake from the fridge. Dark chocolate and Doritos, carrying them over to the end table next to Michael’s chair. “Going along with Plan D, “Luci plops Shelly’s nose. “I’m going to tell you a story about the darkness and the devil.” He hugs his niece who just snuggles up to him, waiting for things to make sense.

                   “In the beginning there was nothing but Darkness, then suddenly came the light, that’s your grandpa,my daddy. And Dad liked to make things and Auntie, the darkness, like to break them. But there so much he had to do, so much he had to make that he couldn’t when she kept breaking everything. So he had to find a way to keep her from doing that. So, he decided to give her a big time out. But he wasn’t her daddy so she wouldn’t listen to him. He had to make her do it so he needed help.  He needed your aunts and uncle and me. 

                  “He made Michael first, a burning flame, stronger than anything else he ever made. I don’t know much about that. I wasn’t there yet. And then, Dad made me. Then Raphael, then Gabriel. And while we trained each other to fight and heal and grow to love each other, he kept the darkness at bay. 

                  “I was always different from my siblings. I could be hard, sharp as ice, soft and relentless as a river, and as insubstantial as the air itself. Where my siblings had three pairs of wings, I only had one, though they were longer than anyone’s and no matter who I was with I was always the brightest most beautiful angel in the room. Often the smartest as well. I was the only angel who ever, ever won in any fight against Michael. Ever. I was the one who Dad took long walks and talks with around heaven and earth, such as it was. I loved him so much. I didn’t think there was anything I wouldn’t do for him.

                “So, when he asked me to help him seal the darkness away, it didn’t matter what I had to do, I was willing. So he made the earth around a giant cage to lock her away, and the lock he gave to me. Burned into my arm, the mark binding the darkness away from creation. He trusted me, had faithy in me to bear the burden. I didn’t expect it to hurt so much.

                “For the first time, when the mark sealed itself to my arm, I froze, completely and utterly. Not just a tinge of frost on my wings when I was mad, but everything everywhere.”

               “Like elsa?”Shelly asks.

               “Well, more like Anna. But when I thawed back out again I still hurt, and little pieces of darkness dripped through it into me. It still hurt but I ignored it.” 

               “ Why didn’t you just ask Uncle Raphael to help you make it better?” Shelly asks the simple reasonable obvious solution that he refused to use.

              “Because I didn’t like Raphael then. See, before him it was just me and Mitcha and Dad and I had them all to myself and I didn’t want to share and I didn’t know why they needed somebody else so I decided he wasn’t any good and pushed him away. I shouldn’t have, for so many reasons, but I could never bring myself to go to him for anything. I was too proud. I was strong, I was the one chosen to do this important thing, I shouldn’t need any help. You see? And Michael still loved him so much I was jealous and didn’t want to like him or need him for anything.” Luci gently strokes her hair.

               “Did you hate mommy too? Is that why you hurt her?” Shelly hold onto him tighter, no looking at him.

               “No, I almost did. I didn’t see why Dad had to make yet another angel to take him and Mitcha away from me. But I was mad at Michael for ignoring me to play with Raphael so I decided to ignore her to play with the new one and make sure this one was a much better sister and I’d be the best older sibling, better than Michael, too.  And she saw me and smiled at me with those big golden eyes and bright big smile just like yours and I didn’t want to share her either.” Luci tweaks Shelly’s nose. “I don’t even want to share you half the time.

                 “But I still had the mark and I didn’t ask for help and I didn’t let anyone know I was feeling bad because I was too afraid to admit otherwise. And I started to get cranky.” Luci sighs, handing Shelly a dorito.

                 “Cranky?”

                 “You know, when you’re tired and have a headache and you don’t want to go to bed but you have to go to bed so you get mad and want to scream and throw things and cry because it’s so unfair and everything’s stupid and you never get what you want. Understand?”

                “Mmhmm.” Shelly nods, the dorito in her mouth as she sucks off the cheese like the good little maniac she is.

                “But I felt that way more and more and I picked fights with Mitcha because she would always be a nice after and hold me so I could melt and I was too proud to just ask. And then we just fought because I was angry and she was angry and we stopped making up and everything just got worse.

               “Then Dad made Adam the first soul and then he made Eve the first soulmate. He called them his greatest creation. And told us to love them more than we loved anything else. Which meant, among other things, to love them more than they loved me, that they were more important than I was. That didn’t sound fair. After all I did, with how I hurt all the time and was willing to give everything I ever was for him to make creation even possible. And I refused. Over and over I refused to bow down and serve them and love them more than anything.”

               “Good.” Shelly says firmly getting some chewed up doritos on Luci’s shirt.

               “No, not good. You see, I didn’t understand what he was asking us, I didn’t want to understand. Asking us to love them and take care of them wasn’t saying they were more important to him than we were. And it wasn’t saying to have only them and no one else. There is no limit to how much you can love and be loved. Besides if your daddy got you a plant and told you to water it every day and give it light, is that unfair?”

               “I don’t want a plant. Why should I have to do that for a plant when I don’t want it?” Shelly scowls, clearly thinking that yes it was unfair.

              “Well, what if when you did and took care of it and did it for as long as you could one day you got up and saw that it had strawberries, but not just any strawberries, chocolate covered strawberries with whipped cream. What would you think then?”

              “I’d think mommy was playing a joke me and just eat them.” Shelly says sagely. “Then throw the plant away because it’s stupid.”

              “That’s reasonable.” Luci grins. “But if it’s really truly a chocolate covered strawberry with whipped cream tree and not a joke would you think your father telling you to water and take care of it was unfair? If it got you those strawberries as long as you did them?”

             “No, that would be great but it would be even better if daddy took care of the tree for me and I got to eat the strawberries anyways.” Shelly muses, with a pensive look that is amazingly adorable for how much it makes her resemble her. 

             “I hear you kid.” Luci smiles. the human part is surprisingly adorable. Were Adam and Eve this cute? Doubtful. “Well anyway, that’s apparently alot of things. And I didn’t know it. If he told me, but I didn’t understand.”

             “Helel, I don’t understand.” Shelly sits up and brushes the crumbs off her uncle’s shoulder. Or more accurately brushes it into his cleavage. Something to be addressed later.

             “Well, that plant was humanity. And are my little shelly-berry.” 

             “Me?” Shelly places a hand on her chest with pleased astonishment like the little charmer she is. 

             “Yes, you. As far as I’m concerned, humanity is still mostly just a stupid plant, but sometimes you get something from it as wonderful as you.” Luci nuzzles her nieces little button nose.

              “And daddy!” Of course the child has to add.

              “... Sure why not.” Luci refrains from voicing his true feelings. Being honest doesn’t mean sharing every thought and opinion you have all the time, thank all that is.  “And if I had only just listened to my daddy and loved them and cared for them like he told me too, there would be so many more wonderful things but I didn’t. I was mad and stupid and hated them because I didn’t understand and was too proud to think there was anything more wonderful than my brothers and fathers and me and I got colder and colder and froze inside and out and I did something so bad that I had to leave my home forever.”

           “What did you do?” Shelly actually looks worried for a second, as if it occurs to her that maybe she can be bad enough one day to never be allowed to come back home.

           “I did something badder than is even possible for anyone to do now. I tried to prove humanity was bad by lying and convincing them do bad things. And I kept doing ti and doing every thing I could to make everyone see that I was right and they were bad and we shouldn’t love them or help them or do anything for them. I wanted my family to see that they were nothing and I was everything and maybe that they were too, a little, but I was wrong. And I couldn’t see it. And I fought with my father and my brothers and got my brothers to fight with my brothers until finally, they caught me and put me in time out for a very long time.”

           “Oh no!” Shelly immediately puts her hands to her face in horror. “Was.. was it for.. for three whole hours?” It’s adorable her idea of extreme punishment, it really is.

           “Something like that.”

           “Oh! Oh you poor thing.” Shelly stand up on her uncle’s lap and hugs his face, petting his hair. “That’s just so not fun at all.”

           “No, it wasn’t. I didn’t like it and got out early. But Dad was gone then and so Michael had to stop me from being bad and hurting people. I was even crankier and madder and hated all humans everywhere, and wanted them to go away and I wouldn’t stop trying to make them go away. I wouldn’t listen to anybody and wouldn’t stop because I thought I was right, though I wasn’t, and thought that was the most important thing, though it wasn’t. So Mitcha was going to have to fight me until I couldn’t hurt anybody anymore. But  you see, if me and Mitcha started to fight that would have hurt alot of people too. And your father and brother didn’t want that to happen and your mother didn’t want that to happen either

           “Gabriel didn’t like it when me and Michael fought. It upset her very much and long long ago she was so upset she just ran away so she didn’t have to see us fighting anymore.  We all thought she had died and when I went to take something that belonged to me from some of her freinds, I saw her there and didn’t know what to do. She was wearing a boy, then, a little one just as adorable as this one. And do you know what she does? She calls me a… a big poopy head and that I was being a baby and she wasn’t going to let me and Michael fight and hurt people even if she had to fight me herself. She said she chose people over both of us. My favorite song. And it made me mad, because I hated humans, so when she tried to fight me, I.. I killed her. But she got better, which is good. Angels almost never get better.” Luci quickly reassures his neice, who gives a big sigh of releif at this. As if she wasn’t sure her mother would come back to life to give birth to her eventually. But the toddler soon gets a very stern look that makes Luci think of both Michael and Raphael. So many peices of everyone he loves all wrapped up in the meat of someone he hates and somehow it’s just all wonderful.

           “Did you say you were sorry?” She demands firmly. Her father’s tone in that one.

           “Yes, actually. But that’s not always enough, shelly-belly.”

           “But mommy’s okay now and you’re not going to do it again, right?” Shelly shakes her little finger at her uncle. “You’re not going to do any more bad things and have to go back into time out again. Right? Because you can’t play with me or do plan D if you’re in time out, you know.” 

            “I know, and I’m going to be trying my very hardest not to do anything that bad again. I promise.” He crosses his heart under his neices slightly skeptical gaze.

             “Okay. Because time out is no fun for anybody and if you hurt mommy again I will be very mad at you and tell Lolo on you because it’s not tattling if someone can get hurt.” Shelly gives an imperious nod that would get anyone else’s head forcibly turned at the neck. “Helel, does chocolate covered strawberries with whipped cream start with a d anywhere?”

            “No, but delicious does and they are delicious.”  What are rules if not for being creatively interpreted after all?

            “What about Elsa? Does Elsa start with a D?” She asks hopefully as her uncle carried her to the fridge to get the strawberries. They were for the next evening with Michael but since the whole damn thing was his fault tonight, he can just suck it.

            “No, it’s starts with an E, but ‘D’isney does and it’s a Disney movie, so we we can absolutely watch it.”

            “Yay! Oh! Daddy starts with a ‘D’ right? Duh-daddy!” Her excited face makes Luci want to lie again.  And of course her eagerness to bring that man into it makes him die a little inside which also starts with a d.  “We can have Daddy come and eat Doritos and Delicious strawberries and watch Disney with the Devil!” She crows emphasizing the ‘D’. Luci tries very hard not to laugh at this. Though he’s going to smack Raphael again for calling him that in front of her. 

             “He’s on vacation honey, remember? That’s why you’re with me.” Hopefully that’s good enough.

              “Oh, yeah. What about your daddy? Lolo?”

              “You can ask but he might not be able to... seriously?” Luci exclaims as she sees the almost empty thing of strawberries. “Oh come on, Mitcha. The honey’s bad enough.”

              “I’m sorry. I got hungry.” Shelly pouts.

              “You little bottomless pit! Alright. Let’s find something we can make Delicious. What about bananas?”

               “Ew!” Shelly wrinkles her nose. “Bananas are nasty.” She turns her head away shunning the very idea. “Oh! Thank you Lolo!” Luci looks over to the counter to see a basket of delicious chocolate covered strawberries and whipped cream and same dominoes, a stuffed dolphin, some dates, Dance Dance revolution and some divinity.

               “Thanks, dad.” Luci rolls his eyes. She’s so spoiled. If she wasn’t so cute he’d be tempted to just toss her off a cliff somewhere. 


	12. I'm getting too old for this shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad day at the bunker  
> Luci refrains from murder  
> Shelly has no time for nonsense  
> Uncle Crowley babysits againt his will

           “What the FUCK IS THAT!” Sam hears Dean all the way in the library. He gets up and heads over to the garage to see Dean hiding behind the tool rack. A strange deer with straight horns is looking at him. It’s almost the size of a reindeer.

            “Well, it looks to me like a giant black impala.”Sam frowns at it. “And where’s your car?”

            “I’m going to kill your wife. Where is she? Gabriel! Get your feathered ass down here and fix my damn car!” He shouts to the heavens. “You know, every time she starts to seem like maybe she’s not the biggest most intolerable pain in the ass she does shit like this!”

            “Dean, I think there’s something wrong.” Sam walks in. “With her I mean. Maybe a spell or an accident or something. She’s not being herself.”

             “She sure as hell seems like herself to me.”

             “Why would she reread the Winchester Gospels? This is just so.. sudden, all of it, this change…. I just…” He leans back against the wall, and runs his fingers back through his hair, so frustrated that he’s not even paying attention to the enchanted beast. The impala’s just looking for a way out and not finding one, growing increasingly restless and frightened.

            “Sure, Sam.”  Dean edges over to him, and pulls his brother back towards the door. “It could be, but honestly, I think she’s just relatively behaved herself for so long she snapped. You know what, I’m not even going to.. shit!” Dean hurls himself backwards, taking Sam with him and the trapped impala decides to charge towards them.

Sam gets to his feet and walks over to the bag of goat feed and pour some out on the other side of the garage. Fortunately it attracts the animals interest. 

            “Let’s just lock it in the garage and wait.” Sam goes back to the garage door, but it’s already locked. All the doors are locked. And none of them will unlock. Something is definitely wrong.

            “This isn’t funny. I’m taking Cas to a the vents.concert tonight.” Dean pulls at the door. Sam starts to laugh at the thought of Dean and Cas riding off to a concert on a giant black impala.  “Dude, this is not funny. You two have been married way too long. I have to call Cas.” He takes out his phone. “Great, it’s dead. Sam, give me your phone.”

            “It’s charging in the other room. You’ll have to pray.” Sam sits down behind the nearest concrete divide.

           “Right. Fuck. Cas, your psycho sister locked us in the garage with the impala that she turned into an impala and I might not be able to get out in time for our day so if you could maybe lend a hand, that’d be great, thanks. Dean, out.”

            “Maybe she’s amnesiac.” Sam suggests after a minute. “Maybe there was an accident with a time or memory spell or some lethe or something.”

            “Sure, Sam.” Dean looks up to the vents. “Give me a boost will you? I’m going to try.”

            “Maybe we should try the key first?” Sam suggests, “I don’t have mine on me.”

            “Keys. Well, that makes so much sense it’s insane,so yeah, let’s try that.” Dean puts his hand to his side before wincing slightly in rrealization. “They’re in my jacket.” The jacket he’s not wearing.

             “And where’s your jacket?”

             “In the impala. The heat’s broken. It’s set permanently to Sahara at noon. I was going to fix it after I went to the bathroom. “They both look at the munching quadruped.

            “So, it’s either disembowel him for it or wait for it to come out on it’s own.” Sam concludes. Dean just gives him a dark look. “Vents it is then.” Sam sighs and gets up, walking over to the nearest vent and puts his hands together to lift his brother up.     

             “I hate your wife.” Dean pulls off the vent cover and crawls in. Almost immediately he falls out of the vent on the roof over the impala sending the beast running to the other side of the garage in panic and barely avoiding being brained by it’s hooves. “I will pay for the divorce, I swear to god, Sam!” He limps over to his brother as the impala starts bucking and kicking everything in reach when it reaches the end of the garage.                                         

              “Are you alright?” Sam doesn’t even seem to concerned, as if this was just some average every day occurance. Though it surprises Dean to realize that it no longer is. Things have been relatively quiet and peaceful and stable bar a few accidents and mishaps at the school. His life has become downright domestic. That’s both fantastic and frightening at the same time.

              “No! I’m not alright! I’m so tired of this. I’m pushing fourty. I shouldn’t have to deal with this shit from my damn in laws! You know what, fuck it, I’m calling Michael. Let him deal with her.”

               “You have no phone, you’ll have to pray.” Sam reminds him and sits down again, waiting. Honestly he just feels too exhausted to get all excited about anything right now. With teaching, Shelly, and Lucifer’s existence in his life in a way so absurd that even at the height of the apocalypse he would have dismissed it as beyond belief. They’ll get out eventually. And he hopes to God that something is seriously supernaturally wrong because if not, he honestly doesn’t know what he’s going to do.

 

               “Your daughter...” The woman begins angrily.

              “Neice.” Luci crosses his arms as that nut that spawned the girl they don’t understand why they let Shelly play with, angrily scolds her.

               “Your neice is corrupting my daughter. I caught my little angel trying to summon the devil in bed last night!”

                “I’m sure she wasn’t. Shelly doesn’t even know how to… summon the devil.” Luci grins, doing his best not to laugh because he can’t not smile her and just doesn’t want to deal. 

                “Uh-huh.” Shelly pipes up on the see saw. ”I’ll just call you on the phone and ask you to come over.” The human woman is not amused. Luci’s  ‘Satan’ belly shirt probably isn’t helping matters any.

               “No mommy it was a salt circle to keep the ghosts away.” the kid protests looking considerably concerned.

               “There are no ghosts and no daughter of mine will partake in witchcraft regardless. What do you have to say for yourself? Filling your neices head with such… such… utter blasphemy.”

               “Hail me?” Luci spends the time the woman takes up yelling at her for this by imagining doing to this woman all the various things he’s done to people who annoy him before. It’s probably just as well he doesn’t have his grace. There’s no way he’d be able to keep from just snapping things as irritating as this out of existence if he did. Of course it seems as if all he’d been doing was just disintegrating people. When did he get into such a rut? When did he lose his edge? Maybe being bad was getting boring long before he really wanted to admit it to himself.

               “Are you even listening to me? Young lady?”

               “No. No, I’m really not. Look, maybe my sister will put up with your bullshit because Shelly’s freind’s with what’s her face…..” Luci waves to the embarassed child.

                “Her name is Alice.” The woman snaps.

                “I don’t care.” Luci gently silences her, with a finger to her lips. “But today is my day with Michele and I really don’t feel like spending anytmore of it listening to you trying to force your inane, ridiculous bull pucky beliefs onto my child and me. Now if you’ll excuse me. I’m going to take my neice to Dairy queen because we’re enacting plan D but I’ve done enough Dialogue with a Desperate Douche for a lifetime.” Luci turns to take Shelly’s hand, expecting her to be right at his feet at the mention of ice cream. But she’s not. “Shelly? Shelly?” He turns around, but doesn’t see her at all. “Michele? You, little lunatic, Where did she go?” Luci points to the six year old. 

               “She went to get some candy from that man under the bridge. I told her not to but she doesn’t listen to me.”

                “She WHAT!” Luci turns and runs over to the pointed to bridge as fast as he legs can take him. She’s not there either. But there’s a bewildered looking man in a pink hello kitty tshirt and capris with a red bow in his hair, leaning against the wall with one of Shelly’s bracelets at his feet, but there’s no sign of her.  “Where is she?” He grabs the man by the collar with one hand, the bracelet in the other. The man just looks dazed. “The girl, wearing these. Where is she?”

                The man opens his mouth to speak but just croaks a little spitting out a jolly rancher. Then another and another until his body and throat and checks one stuffed with them and he falls to the ground twitching at luci’s feet just as his stomach bursts open like a meat pinata, spilling jolly ranchers out everywhere. It would be a wonderful sigh if not for the fact that Luci still doesnt know where his neice is.

 

                “So,” Bree sits on the side of the swiss alps as the little child runs around picking flowers. “You’re mine, huh?”

                “Mommy, no nonsense just come pick flowers with me.” The child scolds her and dumps a bunch of blossoms in her lap. “You can braid them.”

                “Bossy thing aren’t you?” She looks at the tiny nephilim. She looks adorable. Maybe if she can figure out how this Gabriel survived the pregnancy she can make her own. Maybe give Raphael something to make him look as happy as this one did. How could this Gabriel let him be with some.. .human thing. And make a human baby with it! How could he have let her marry Samuel! Doesn’t he love his sister at all? Well, at least the humans here are still very much mortal and so very very breakable. “So, have you met the new baby?”

                “Yes.” The child sounds underwhelmed.

                “You don’t like it do you. I don’t either. Who needs another baby anyway?”

                “Yeah, she doesn’t do anything. And she’s boring. And he’s going to cry and be loud and grow up and be stinky.”

                “Yeah, babies are gross. But do you want to know a secret?”

                “What?” Shelly runs back over expectantly.

                “If a baby cries and is annoying and won’t stop, there’s a special trick to make them be quiet. You just pick them up and shake them back and forth as hard as you can. They’ll fall asleep and stop crying.”

               “Oh, okay. Mommy, can you bring Uncle Helel here? He braids faster than you do.”

               “Nah, let’s have some mommy daughter time. what are you five, six? You’re not in school yet right. Or are you home schooled?”

               “Mommy. Braid.” The little thing ignores her question. It’s kind of amusing. Maybe she’ll take the little thing with her. It would drive them all insane. Imagine Mule saddles with a mystery child. It would be hilarious. Of course, Michael would probably try to kill her since she’s an abomination unto god and man. How would the sherrif feel about that? It might actually tear him and his angel apart. Ball busting straight laced stickler that he is, she doubts he’d be okay with murdering his brother’s child, one as old as his own. Ohh yes! She’ll have to do that. That will be fantastic, she’ll have to figure out how though.

                “Hey. Want to come see ‘mommy’s new play house?” Bree scoops up the child spilling the picked flowers everywhere.

                 “I want to make Uncle a crown first.” She picks them up again.

                 “I removed your bindings, short stuff. You can just snap it together.”

                 “Oh.” Shelly tries to snap her fingers but she can’t manage it and concentrates so hard on snapping that she can’t do anything else.  “This is too hard. You do it.”

                 “Can you twitch your nose? what am I saying? Here,” She snaps, “You can twitch your nose. Try it.” Shelly twitches her nose like a bunny and rearranges the flowers into a crown.

                  “Oh, that’s so much more claps then stops and gives Bree a sheepish grin.

                  “Yes it is you little cutie.” Bree pinches her cheek. “Alright, let’s go to mommy’s new place.”

 

                  “Hi!” Shelly waves at the demon standing before her.  “I’m Shelly.” The demon looks down at the small child with golden curls, lined with plaid lined overalls over a pinkie pie my little pony t-shirt and little army boots before him. “Who are you?”

                   “I’m the king of hell.” He looks down at her.

                   “Oh.” She sounds unimpressed. “Is that why you’re all black and ugly and stuff?” She pokes at his hand seeing the demon face with in.

                   “Gabr.. Bree.” He corrects himself, looking up at the amused angel. “May I enquire as to what mini-moose is doing here?”

                    “I was bored. Thought it would be interesting. So, found your mom yet?”

                    “She’s disinclined to get involved. Angels tend to be less than trustworthy.” Crowly looks down at Shelly as she walks around the newly redecorated hall, looking at all the festive things, many of them highly inappropriate for a small child to be viewing.

                    “Oh! Doggies!” His sense of self preservation flares up, and he quickly grabs the child, bringing her back over to the bean bag throne. He has no desire to know what the Winchesters would do should he allow his daughter to play with and be killed or injured by hellhounds.

                     “Those are hellhounds, darling. They’re not doggies. You cannot play with them.” He informs her.

                     “They are so. A hound is another word for doggie. So why not?” 

                     “Because, poppet, they will eat your face.” He taps her nose. She doesn’t seem impressed and stands up on the seat looking at them from the distance.  “Is this your idea of keeping a low profile?” Crowley asks the amused angel creating a delectible spread of instant heart attack and diabetes on the banquet table.

                      “What?” I haven’t killed anybody yet. Well, one  but he was a child molester. Is that out of character?” Bree frowns, trying to think. She didn’t think so. After the pledge master and animal tester it seemed like something this Gabriel would do.

                     “No, actually.”he concedes, “By all accounts, you are very fond of children. Of course kidnapping a tiny winchester is something different entirely.”

                   “You can’t kidnap your own child, silly. Children are gullible little things. And the faces they make, just hillarious. Tell me where she is, your mom. I’ll convince her to play ball.”

                   “The waldorf astoria, but she’s not exactly fond of ch… “Crowley starts but his warning was unneccessary as Bree has left the child with him.

                   “Mommy?” Shelly looks around. “Where’d mommy go?”

                   “She’s running an errand. “He rubs the bridge of his nose, trying to think. Does he keep the little pistol and wait and risk the wrath of the Winchesters when they find out, as they always do, the nosy bastards. Or risk the wrath of this strange new disturbing Gabriel who left the child with him. “You’ll be staying with uncle crowley until she gets back."

                    “Who’s that?”

                    “Me.”

                    “You are not my uncle. You are not my mother or father’s brother or sister, and you aren’t married to one or have a baby with them, so you are not my uncle.” She corrects him. “You are a stranger. so you are Mister Crowley.”

                    “No i am not related by blood or marriage. but uncle is also something you can call a person fond of you that you are also fond of, perhaps for giving you nice things when you behave.”

                    “Oh.” She considers. “No, you’re just Mister Crowley. I want to go back and give unc… Aunt Luci her crown.” the girl informs him almost imperiously after the snub. “Where is it?”

                    “I haven’t the foggiest. You were spending the day with your… ‘Aunt’ Luci?” 

                    “Uhuh. It’s Plan D!” She raises her hands. “Every thing we do has to start with a D! Oh! Does demon start with a ‘D’?” Wonderful, Lucifer will come looking for the little brat as well.

                    “Yes, yes it does.” He considers . “ Plan D is doing things that start with ‘d’ right?” He asks, she gives an enthusiastic nod. “Well, then, why don’t be play a game called Deaf and Dumb where we sit down and don’t speak and pretend we don’t hear anything.” The looks she gives him has her father written all over it. Adorable really.

                     “Mmmm no.” She replies. “I would like a drink though. That’s D right? Do you have some juice?”

                      “Of course.” he turns to the table to get her a small glass. With the sudden sound of pattering feet on the floor, he realizes he’s been tricked and turns just in time to see the little girl throw herself on the neck of the largest hound.

                     “Doggie!” She squeals, giving the  confused thing a kiss on the cheek. “Oh you poor thing, you need make up and a coat because you’re all bald and ugly. Don’t worry. I’ll make you pretty and warm.” It’s a tense moment as the hound gives the child a sniff and lies down in submission in front of her. She must smell of her uncle. Small blessings.  

                  “Winchesters.” Crowly mutters and walks over to her with the juice as she apparates some interesting crafting supplies. “You are a naughty little thing, aren’t you?” She just gives him her most dimpled, angelic smile and takes the juice.

                  “Thank you, Mister Crowley.”


	13. He loves me, He loves me not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci behaves responsibly and swallows his pride for Shelly's welfare (greater love hath no angel)  
> Crowley attempts to talk sense into Bree  
> Bree courts her big brother.

            "What's wrong?" Michael appears in the tunnel and steps back as he sees the dead man at his brother's feet. Fortunately for him he doesn't even consider that Luci is responsible for the carnage. There's not enough blood.

            “Shelly’s missing.” Michael holds his tongue as best he can waiting for the explanation. “I turned my back for one second and she was gone. She was playing with Alice.” This is not a good explanation.

           “When was this?” He forces himself to stay calm as his brother is clearly upset.

           “Five minutes ago.” Luci replies. “I’ve called Sherrif Mills for this guy, but you have to help me find her.” Much for Luci’s relief, Michae doesn’t start lecturing or scolding or even betray the intense emotions he knows the angel is feeling right now

           “Of course.” Michael disappears, back with in seconds. “She’s not here”

           “No shit.”

           “She’s not in this plane, Helel.  I stopped time, searched the entire world. I’m going to send out the host, and alert the Winchesters. No arguments.” Michael gives Luci a hard warning look.

            “I’ll tell them while you assemble the host. I need a few things from the bunker to help us search.” Luci steels himself. His first time alone with his little song and this happens. Not a small part of him wants to keep Sam from finding out at all costs. He might be able to convince Michael not to tell if he really tries, but since one of those costs might be Shelly’s well being, he punches it down with everything he has. Better to have all hands available for this, even theirs. Of course, Michael seems to approve of this course of action based on that soft smile that luci hates so fucking much sometimes.

           “I’ll send you there. And coordinate with you once the search party is assembled.” Michael gives him an affectionate kiss and Luci finds himself in the main room of the bunker.

           “Dean, I cannot find a garage key.” He hears Castiel yelling at the door to the garage for some reason. “I have tried every key in the bunker. You are going to have to disembowl the impala.” The response to this is muffled but Luci can venture a guess as to what it is. So, Dean Winchester has somehow managed to lock himself in the garage so securely that not even an archangel can free him. He’s not sure what’s worse that Castiel loves this beknightedly stupid man or that this moron has repeatedly foiled Luci’s plans. 

             “Son,” Luci walks over to the angel, unable to resist poking him a little.

             “I am not your son.” Comes the automatic reply from the archangel attempting to peer through a nonexistant keyhole.

             “Where’s Sam?”

             “Trapped in the garage with Dean and an overly aggressive impala.” Comes the odd response.

             “How?” Fortunately he doesn’t have to clarify the question any.

             “Everything is warded. The vents are enchanted somehow and the key to the door is in the body of the impala somehow. It  hasn’t been excreted so we’re forced to assume it will have to be.. surgically removed.”

             “Do you mean the car or the four legged mammal the car is named after?” Luci raises an eyebrow at the angel.

             “The car has become the animal.”

             “Oh for dad’s sake, what… hold on.” Luci examines the door. The hinges are on the outside and the lock seems to have been sealed into one large hunk of metal firmly lodged into the frame, though fortunately not melded with it.  “Alright, let me try something. Get me a screwdriver. Go on. I don’t know where they keep their tools.”  He shoos Cas away. The angel doesn’t move.

              “In the garage.” comes the muffled reply from the other side.

              “Go get me a screw driver. please. And maybe a wrench.” Luci forces himself to be polite.  “Alright. I guess this is a good a time as any. Sam, I need to speak with you.”

               “Aren’t you supposed to be watching Michele?” Dean of course has to reply in Sam’s stead.

                “That’s what I need to speak to you about. Something’s happened. Michelle is missing. Michael’s assembling the host to search, but she’s either extremely well hidden or not in this plain of existence.”

                 “WHAT!” They could probably hear that one all the way in Missouri. Though the silence from Sam is more worrying. “Don’t ‘Dean’ me/ This is your daughter. He lost your daughter not a fucking ballpoint pen.”

                  “Dean! That’s enough!” Oh good, he speaks. “What happened?”

                  “We were at the park she was playing with Alice. I was distracted for a minute and she disappears. Alice said a man under the walkway bridge offered her candy and she went to get it. When I got there the man burst like an overripe pinata filled with jolly ranchers.  Shelly wasn’t there, just one of her bracelets. I called for Michael to help look and Sherrif Mills to take care of the body and had Mitcha drop me off here to let you know and get some spell ingredients while he assembles the host to search. So how has your day been? Thanks, son.” Luci takes the screwdriver from castiel’s and starts to unscrew the hinges. “Actually I’ll probably need a crowbar too.” That one is found quicker and the door is slowly but surely pried open.

                  “What the hell was so important that it kept you from noticing my neice being lured off into the dark by some pedophile?” Dean snaps like the judgemental ungrateful bastard he is as he exits the garage. As if he’s never lost a child in his care.

                   “I was concentrating very hard on not violently murdering Alice’s mother. I need a few things from your storage to try and locate the other bracelet. I don’t know if she’s still wearing it but either way it’ll give us a clue as to where she might be.” Luci walks off as the impala start to bolt down towards the open door. Castiel just intercepts it and puts it into a deep slumber.

                    Sam doesn’t say a word and goes to get his phone. No word from his wife about where she is. What she’s doing or if she was the one who took Shelly to teach Luci a lesson in paying attention to small children. The death of the man certainly sounds like her work. And a clear violation of their prenup but one he feels partially inclined to overlook. It doesn’t matter, their marriage is probably over regardless.

 

                  Crowley stares at the child napping on the hell hound, plopped on it like it was a giant pillow. Clearly it’s not going to harm her. Probably too much of her uncle Lucifer in her for that. He looks at his phone again. He is not a damned baby sitter and a nephilim winchester neice of satan is probably the biggest minefeild he’s encountered since he tried to get in good with the darkness. He can no longer pretend to himself he knows how to navagate it. 

                  “Oh look at the wee thing just floating there.” Oh joy, mother is here.

                 “She’s not floating. She’s sleeping on a hellhound.”

                 “A budding little queen of hell I see. Little darling.” Rowena looks to the sleeping babe. Maybe it’s only male children she can’t generally stand.

                  “I’m actually thinking of taking her with me. It would just be hillarious in so many ways, how could I not?” Bree muses the possibilities.

                   “I wouldn’t advise that.” Crowley says cautiously. “Given all they’ve done for each other, I don’t imagine ripping through realities to retrieve their offspring would be unexpected.”

                    “Ugh. Then there’d be two Dean Winchesters. No thanks. Though really the thought of the Sherrif meeting this felonious drunken halfwit drop out… oh, so tempting.” Bree laughs at the thought. “So, Row, how do you like the new look? We’re making hell into a hell of a party.” She winks gesturing to the lush ballroom.

                   “You’re making hell… fun?” Rowena looks intregued. 

                   “Well, fun for me anyway. Everyone gets almost free reign to do what they want. There was some sort of structure and containment of course. Buyers remorse is oddly frequent, but Raphi and my Fergie took care of all that boring stuff. I’m sure you can figure something out. Takes a few years before the taste sours for most of the souls anyways. But you know, who cares about retention, honestly. There are always new ones to play with. Break one, a dozen, a million, it doesn’t matter at all.  There are always more.” She gives a contented sigh. “You’re all just the best toys.” Bree plops down on the throne. “Alright. Time to go have some more fun with the family. I’m just going to borrow this.” She looks at the two upside down, hanging off the arm of the beanbag throne.  

                     “And… the codex?”

                     “Whatever you need, red. Just send a prayer my way.” Bree sits up. “You know how to pray, don’t you? Just put your hands together, and bow.” she demonstrates, bowing her head and manifests her wings, filling the hall with blinding light and a dissonant tinkling of bells. With a burst of laughter, the light vanishes as does the angel, the child and the hellhound.

                     “I like this one.”Rowena smiles. “Maybe it’s time Hell had a queen for once. I wonder if we could convince her to stay. ”

                     “This is hell.” Crowley looks at her. “It’s not supposed to be fun.”

                     “Well, then maybe you should just invite my daughter in law back, hmm?” Rowena grins and sits down on the throne. “She can resume the endless torture starting with you. Oh, comfy.”

 

                     “Hand me the bracelet.” Luci holds out his hand, his left one poised to add the sage to the bowl.

                     “This doesn’t require grace or a soul then.” Sam asks, handing it to him. Luci winces slightly at the question. Cursing both his humanity and lack of it, he gives the bracelet back and rests his hands on the edge of the table. 

                      “You’ll have to get Castiel.” Before Sam can say anything, there’s a sudden barking and snarling that catches their attention. As well as the sound of laughter amidst the commotion that follows. The two quickly run out to the main hall where Dean is holding a sleepy Shelly on one side of the room and the impala has awoken, and is battling an invisible creature. 

                       Gabriel is on the table, laughing her ass off.

                       “Gabriel! What in the name of all that is, is going on?” Luci demands angrily. Sam just grabs the nearest blade and goes after the hound.

                        “Hey, no. He’s just protecting her.” Bree snaps the blade away. “You’re stupid brother just grabbed her off the thing. So of course he’s going to be pissy. Oh, brother, dear. A word?” She hops down in front of him, grabbing Luci’s arms. “Have fun, boys!” She vanishes with her brother in her grasp. “Oh Helel, look at what’s been done to you.” She plants Luci down on a plush cushion. “Stripped of everything, just an empty shell, less than an empty shell, you’re what’s inside an empty shell, shoved into a human body. And into this ridiculous female body, no less.

                     “You mean what you did to me.” He retorts,not a little pissed at the comments.  

                      “Me? I did this to you? Oh, I don’t know whether that makes me like me more or hate me. Maybe both.” 

                      “What?”

                      “And what may I ask were you doing?” Bree crosses her arms. “I thought you hated the Winchesters, and there you are getting all cozy with my husband. Have you no shame?” Bree scolds. Even though he knows she can’t possibly be serious, he can’t help but be extremely disturbed by it. That look, that shocked and almost primly offended horrified look is just pure Helel, through and through. It’s the exact same one he had when Bree told him that there was no point in preventing her first marriage to Raphael, because they’d been physically involved for over a millenia already.

                         “That is not funny.” He says slowly, sternly, also in a familiar manner.

                         “Oh, it really is you.” Bree throws her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek. “Look at you, stripped away into nothing and what is this? This isn’t right. It’s cute but… you’re not a virgin are you?” Bree asks, not entirely sure what to hope for.

                          “Have you lost your mind? Did you take Michele from the park? You scared me half to death. What’s she doing playing with a hellhound? Do you have any idea how irresponsible… did you take her to hell? Answer me young lady!” Helel demands grabbing her hand.

                           “You sound like Michael.” Bree makes a disgusted face. 

                           “Well, they say spouses get more and more alike the longer they’re together so get used to it.  What’s gotten into you? What are you doing? You killed that man? Not that I object, but you know that’s pretty much the ultimate violation of your prenup.”

                           “Spouses…”Bree blinks slightly. “You… you and Michael are.. Did you get married?” That would explain why they’re in unrelated vessels at least.

                            “No, you know we haven’t even set a date and we wouldn’t get married without you there. But this is really off the subject. What has gotten into you paseh? What are you doing?” Luci tries to push her away as he’s starting to feel incredibly uncomfortable, but she won’t let him.

                           “I’m just having fun. I thought you of all people would understand. I thought you were free of her, of heaven of all of this. And why are you fussing over the winchesters and some little nephilim brat?” Bree frowns at her, almost hurt. Luci looks at her silently at this statement. He’s clearly out of his depths.

                          “Alright, who are you? What are you? And what have you done with my sister?” He demands.

                          “I’m Gabriel, your sister. the one who loves you more than any one ever loved anything in all of existence.” She looks at him with a desperate longing adoration he can’t remember ever seeing in her eyes, it’s like the way a man on a falling plane looks at a parachute just within reach. 

                          “Are you alright?” he puts a hand to her cheek, if it is her it isn’t her. Something is clearly incredibly wrong here.

                          “No,” She rests her head on his shoulder. “It’s starting to hurt again. Worse this time. I thought, being farther away it wouldn’t pull at me as much but it’s worse.”  the words are so quiet Luci can barely hear her. “I know you understand. You never did, but here, now, you have to.”

                           “How are you hurt? Does Raphael know?” Luci gently strokes her hair to soothe her. “Does Sam? What happened?”

                           “I loved you.” She says simply. “That’s what happened. but it was worth it. Wasn’t it? It has to be. You have to be worth it, and you are. I know you are. I don’t know how I could ever have placed humanity before you. I’m so sorry. Will you forgive me? Please won’t you love me again?”

                           “We both placed humanity first, just in different ways. And of course I love you. I never stopped loving you. Just because I was a stupid selfish prideful idiot, doesn’t mean you were ever anything but my favorite song. Please tell me what wrong, I’ll do anything I can.”

                            “Will you? Will you really?”Bree gives an excited smile. “Oh, brother we are going to have so much fun, you have no idea. Together we can be unstoppable. We’ll get rid of everybody trying to keep us from doing as we please and having fun and I will make a much better lover than Michael, I promise you that.” She gives him an excited passionate kiss, not noticing his disturbed reaction to her statement. “Everything is finally going to be okay. For both of us. we’re finally going to be okay.”

                         “Gabriel.”  he keeps his voice calm and sweet despite how much he’s freaking out on the inside at this. 

                          “Bree. Call me Bree.”

                          “Gabriel.” Luci puts a hand to her cheek. “I love you, but not that way. You’re my baby sister, my favorite song, my little nightingale.”

                           “Your little nightingale.” The frighteningly cheerful tone in her voice sends chills down his spine. “Oh, oh, I see. It’s the probably the kindest way to say it, but still. I can’t believe you’d call me that.” Bree looks down and away, closing her eyes.

                         “As much as I hate to admit, you do have the better voice. Our father’s voice.” Luci affectionately kisses her cheek.

                         “And nothing else.” She looks almost heartbroken. “Nobody’s good enough for you are they? Except Michael. Always Michael, the perfect child, the perfect warrior, the perfect angel, and now the perfect lover too. Of course. Of course. She always ruins everything, takes everything from me. Except Raphael. I have him don’t I?” Bree gives a laugh and snaps her fingers. Luci collapses the ground, unconscious. “Well, it doesn’t matter. You’ll come around. If there’s one thing I know, it’s how to show a girl a good time. You’ll see. Nobody loves you more than me. No body.” 


	14. Nonsense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bree seeks comfort from her brother, decides on a plan of action with a little help from her 'freinds'

      Raphael gently holds his daughter as Alex sleeps in the hospital bed. Outside the world goes on in it’s chaos but in here the most annoying thing is the constant beeping of the monitors. He just gently hums to her to cover the sound.

      “Raphael,” Of course his sister would show up again. Hopefully she’s here to apologize for her behavior earlier.

      “Can I help you?” He doesn’t look at her.

      “Are you mad at me?” She asks meekly.

      “I’m irritated. You haved pushed it to ‘mad’ yet.” He gently adjusts the swaddling. “But you will if you wake either of them.”  

      “Very well, I’ll make sure not to.” Is the cool reply. “So, lover and daughter. Which one do you love more?”

      “Why are you asking such an absurd question? Can’t I have just one day of peace and happiness without one of you sending everything into chaos or bringing it here. Either stop your nonsense or leave. I’m in no mood for it.”

      “I thought you loved my nonsense.” She teases, resting her head against his arm. He just raises an eyebrow at her.

       “I love you, I could live very well without your nonsense.” He kisses her forhead. “Are you alright? You’ve been behaving very strangely lately.”

       “Do I ever behave any other way?” She asks simply, looking over to Alex. “I’ve never understood how compassionate and affectionate you can be.  But I suppose I was always the one who benefitted from that the most so I can’t complain.” Gabriel walks over to the sleeping human and starts to trace the lines on her arm. “Really, though. If you had to choose between the two. If you could only keep one, who would it be?”

        “Who would you choose?” Raphael retorts.

        “You mean between the enormous winchester and the tiny one?” She looks amused and gives a shrug.

         “What’s wrong with you?”

         “Same as always, love and all its wonderful horrible irritating complications.” She winks at him and lets go.

          “Please tell me you haven’t fallen in love with someone even more infuriatingly and mind bogglingly innappropriate than Sam Winchester because I don’t have the time or energy to try and get Michael to accept a new one.” Raphael frowns at her as she steps away from the hospital bed. “Besides if I knew you would be so fickle I never would have tried in the first…  Gabriel, are you alright?“ He steps closer to her as his little sister holds her gloved arm to her chest as if cradling an injury.

          “No. Why don’t you love me? What did i do to let you get taken by this.. this.. fragile toy.” She kicks the side of the hospital bed making it slide to the other side of the room almost before he can halt it and put it back in place.

           “What is wrong with you! I just told you I loved you. Your my sister. But don’t think I won’t beat your ass if you keep acting this way. Since when did you start to dislike my affair with Alex?” He puts a hand to Alex’s cheek. The movement didn’t wake her, but nothing seems to be wrong. At all. She’s just exhausted it seems. For some reason the nurses insist on waking her to feed and keep trying to take Abigail from her arms when she falls asleep.

           “I wonder if you ever truly meant it. Or maybe wr were just deluding ourselves like your Michael seems to be. If it was real, wouldn’t it exist everywhere? If it was meant to be wouldn’t it be? I’m not so different, how could you be?” She must be drunk again. He's hasn't even made more of that brew and sincerely doubts that less than an entire batch could do this to her.

            “Gabriel get out of this room. I will speak with you somewhere more appropriate in a moment.” Raphael forces his voice to stay low and calm so as not to disturb his darlings.

             “Alright. You know where to find me.” She dissappears. Raphael sets the room in order and places the sleeping infant in the bassinet as Alex isn’t in the right position to hold her safely. Whatever is wrong with that angel now, apparently no one else can even pretend to manage it. That’s fine. What ever’s wrong he’ll obviously have to take care of it before he can get any peace with his family at all.

             “Excuse me,” He walks to the nurse. “A family emergency had arisen. If you could tell my wife I’ll return shortly if she wakes before I come back, I’d appreciate it.”

              “Of course, Mr. Jones.” She nods.When he arrives at the bunker there’s a dead hellhound on the floor as well as a disemboweled black impala. Shelly’s crying her eyes outas her blood covered father gets back to his feet. Fortunately it’s not his blood. For some reason the door to the garage has been removed by the hinges.

             “What’s happened?”

             “Your sister has lost her mind. That’s what happened.” Dean snaps, holding his neice.

             “I was aware of that much. She’s not here?”

             “No. Is everything alright with Alex and AJ?” Dean asks, slightly alarmed at Raphael’s presence, away from his newborn daughter’s side. Raphael’s not exactly thrilled with it either.

             “With Abigail? Would I be here if it were otherwise? What happened and where did she go?”

             “Daddy killed my doggy!” Shelly informs her uncle.

             “Michele, that is a hellhound, not a doggy. They are evil and would likely have killed you all. Where did you get a hellhound?” Raphael demands.

              “Mommy took me to her new play room and it was with the ugly man and I took a nap with the doggy and then I was here and i woke up and saw daddy kill him. He’s not evil. He was a good doggy!” She sobs. "Daddy’s mean!”

              “Michelle…” Sam takes a breath. “I am going to go take a bath and when I am done we are going to learn about hellhounds and why they are not proper pets. Do you understand?” Sam says calmly. “We will also be discussing why it’s a bad idea to leave your guardian to go take candy from a stranger under the bridge.” Sam quickly leaves the hall, just a pent up rage of fury at the impossibleness of the situation. Raphael can sympathize. It stands to reason that Gabriel’s child would have some of her utter insanity, though he had hoped Sam’s half would balance that out. Granted sanity is at best a relative term. Perhaps his expectations were too high in that respect.

              “I’m going to find my sister. Michele, behave yourself for your uncle.” Raphael takes himself out of the bunker. Where did that angel go? How would he know where she’d be if not home. He flits through the usual places, the abyss, Louis’ V karaoke bar, the shelter, the school. She’s not in heaven. He knows who’s in heaven. Michael is in the library for some reason. Half the purpose of the library is so that there’s a place to store flammables away from her until they’re needed. He definitely can’t ask for his sisters aid right now or the entire collection will end up in flames when he explains, which Michael would demand before returning. Not that Michael is very good at deescalating situations with Gabriel such as these. He’d at best just end up making her run off to… oh, of course.

             “I was starting to think we didn’t even have a place that just ours.” She smiles up at him, completely unconcerned. Her arms are crossed, trembling slightly, as she sits on the frozen surface of Callisto and stares at th surface of Jupiter.

             “Gabriel…”He lights down, kneeling in front of her. “Bree, tell me what’s wrong. What’s happened? And no nonsense, just talk to me.” He puts her hands on her arms. “If it’s some sort of injury, then show me. Though I can’t feel anything wrong with you. I can’t feel much of you at all oddly enough.”

             “I’ve gotten better at hiding it from you. Just a constant battle to keep it away from you that you always ended up winning but here, I suppose you never had to, so you have no chance now.” She rubs her arm.

              “Show me.” Raphael  places his hand on hers. “Don’t hide your pain from me. This is why I exist after all. To take care of you.” There’s a slight smile on her face, more sincere than he’s seen since the birthday party. But it’s a sad one.

              “Do you really love me? No matter what?” She looks oddly vulnerable at this suspicious question, though it’s still hard not to be annoyed at her continued evasion.

              “I haven’t murdered you yet, have I?” Comes the testy reply. She laughs at this.

              “So grumpy, and I haven’t even really hurt anybody yet. Your human’s not taking very good care of you.” She tsks, taking off one of her gloves.

              “I’m ‘grumpy’ because you have thrown everything into chaos to the point that I had to leave my lover and our newborn daughter to deal with you. Now will you at least try to give me a sensible straight forward…” his lecture is interrupted by the single most disturbing thing his sister has ever done. She puts her arms around his neck and kisses him, taking the other glove off as she does so. The barrier is gone and he feels a shark biting pain in her that he hasn’t felt since trying to fix Lucifers deepest wounds.

               “Please, Raphi, Big Brother, you’re the only one who can help me, the only one who ever really could.” She clings to him like a drowning man clings to a life preserver. “Nobody loves me like you do.”

 

      

              “It’s not the most impressive vessel.” Rowena looks over the unconscious young woman on the lounge. “She’s lovely to be sure, but hardly powerful or intimidating, is she? She looks like some little preppy punk goth thing angry at mummy for being successful and not understanding her taste in music. I swear, that shirt, all she’s lacking is some peircings, black lipstick and a fauxhawk. And you’re sure she’s completely human.” She looks over to her son who’s perusing the wine selection at the bar Bree set up.

               “Human, yes, helpless no. Asleep he looks like the angel he is, but that’s because you can’t see his eyes.” Crowley pours himself aglass from an old wineskin, and take a sip. “Amazing.” Honestly he didn’t expect the angelic sugar junkie to have such premium beverages.

             “I think it’s fitting actually.” Rowena considers, putting a finger to her lips. “After all, he humiliated you repeatedly, constantly bested you in all things. What else could he be but a woman?” Crowly just gives her a dark look and drinks his wine. “I’m assuming this is not a natural sleep.” She opens her bag.

             “Of course, it’s not. Do you think I’d even be in this room were there a possibility he’d wake up? Mmm. I have to say, his sister has excellent taste. I almost wish she’d stay.” He picks up a pastry.

              “Really, Fergus, I’m starting to think you enjoy being humiliated. Ah, there we go. Much better. Look at that, so pretty. Where’s my blush.” She blots the sleeping forms lips.

               “I hope you’re not doing what I think you’re doing.” Crowley doesn’t even look back at her.

              “Why? What do you think I’m doing?”

              “Using the devil as a mannekin to practice your skills as a beautician.”

              “I’m over a hundred years beyond the need for practice, dearie. I’m simply helping to prepare her for her date.

              “Her date.” He does look over at this one.

              “Of course, weren’t you paying attention, the little nightingale is completely bessotted with her darling big brother. He’s here to be wooed.’ She glances up at him and puts a hand on her hip at his expression. “I don’t know why you find this so shocking. You yourself told me she was trying to seduce him back to the darkside, did ye not?”

               “I didn’t think it was meant literally.” He rolls his eyes. “I have to say, though I am surprised at the amount on incest going on in the heavenly host these days.”

                “Oh come now, Fergus, you’d think you’d never read a bible.” His mother clucks, turning back to her work. “Don’t you go getting any ideas now, mind.” Luckily for Crowley, she doesn’t see the look of utter disgust on his face at this.

                “No worries, mother.”

                “Now, if this doesn’t go well, she might just decide to leave him here and neither of us want that, so behave yourself.”

                “I’ll arrange for an orchestra.” He says dryly and goes to sit down.

                “Oh, very pretty.” Bree appears, lying on the back of the sofa, looking down at Luci. “I officially hate this place.”

                “What’s wrong, dearie.” Rowena sympathetically rubs the angel’s shoulder.

                “She has everything doesn’t she? Heaven, earth, Helel, Raphael. How did she keep him from loving me? He always loved me. He.. he chose me over all of heaven and now some little human thing has him just because she helped that… that flaming bitch.” There’s not a little fire in her own eyes as she says it, and actually a few tears as well.

                 “She? You mean Lucifer?”

                 “No, Michael.” Bree rolls her eyes.

                 “Are you saying Michael’s a woman?” Rowena’s eyes widen. “I don’t know if that’s worse or even better. Now which he are ye talking about or is Raphael a woman too?”

                 “No,” Bree laughs slightly. “I only have one older sister. And that one is currently trapped in the library at the moment. Not forever of course. “ She tilts her head regretfully. “Oh, if only, though. Miqa trapped in the library for all eternity. I wonder if she’ll like that better or worse than the cage. At the very least by the time she gets out the damn wedding will be off. One way or another.”

                 “Have you decided on a plan of attack?”

                 “I’m neither crazy or stupid enough to try to attack Michael. Sure Raphael is oddly weaker that he should be, weaker than me actually, if you believe it, but even at half strength, sissy could kick my ass six ways from sunday.” She reaches down to trace the lines of her brother’s sleeping face. “No matter what he’s in, he’s always the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, isn’t he? Even his flaws are perfect.”

                 “I meant, a plan of attack for stealing your big sister’s man. How will you make him love you more? You were involved with the man once, weren’t you son? Give her a few pointers.” Rowena’s wicked smile as she looks to her son does not escape his notice. Bree’s interested little smile as she appears right in front of Crowly is downright terrifying.

                  “Fergie, you didn’t tell me you and my brother had a… ‘thing’.” the widening smile looks like the setting of a deadly trap.

                  “Purely a marriage of convenience. I had something he wanted and needed, and he had something I did. Trust me there wasn’t the faintest glimmer or either affection or good feeling between us. Not by any stretch of imagination.” He turns and pours himself another glass. “Would you care for a drink?” Bree doesn’t answer, she just looks over at her sleeping sibling, lost in thought.

                   “You know, she is human, you could easily just make her love you.” Rowena suggests.

                   “I know. But.. I want Helel’s love, not the love of his mindless shell. I’ve made enough men and women love me that way to know what it really is. Besides, doing that is the same as admitting that he’ll never love me more than her. He never will, will he. It was bad enough with them just as… as close siblings, but this… I can’t compete with Michael. I never could. I’ve always known that actually. And this Michael, this one even has Raphael.” Bree falls silent again.

                    “So, if you brought him back with you, you think he’d just fall into his sisters arms all over again, is that it?”

                    “Probably.” Bree suddenly laughs. “Oh, I would love to see the look on her face if Helel suddenly showed up declaring endless romantic love, asking for marriage, sex. I’d love to see Helel’s face if she woke up human engaged to Miqa. My siblings would be beyond horrified and the other ones would be shot down and crushed in seconds.”

                    “In that case, you could easily go in and pick up the peices of his broken heart.  No one’s more vulnerable than after a rejection.” Rowena points out.

                    “That’s true.” Bree grins. It strikes Crowley that he’s never seen so many smiles or heard so much laughter without the least bit of actual happiness to them. “I could send him over ahead of me, let him cool his heels a bit. I’m not giving him his grace back, not here, but you said you had an idea.”

                     “Indeed I do. My list.” The witch takes a folded sheet of paper from her purse and hands it to the angel.

                     “Great. I’ll go get these real quick. I’ll be a few minutes though. I have some more mind wiping to do. Ciao.” Bree gives her a wink and vanishes. “Hold on,” She reappears and takes out a permanent marker, making a few hearts and flowers on her sleeping brother’s face before vanishing again, leaving the marker behind her.


	15. We only hurt the ones we love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The nightingale loves her brothers. unfortunately for them.

           Raphael looks out across the smooth plains of the icy moon, a bit unsure of why he’s there and not with Alex. That’s right. Gabriel wanted to talk, but she didn’t say much of anything, just cried silent tears and held onto him. It’s been a long time since she’s done that. Not since Daniel broke her heart. She’s probably having trouble with Sam but just doesn’t want to talk about it yet. Likely because she was in the wrong. She’s a lot better at talking about these things now though. There has to be more she said or did that he missed. But when he tries to think of it, his neck aches with a bitter biting sensation and he feels more than a little uneasy.

          It doesn’t matter. He wonderful lover has just given him a perfect daughter and there’s no point in just sitting here trying to think. Angel’s don’t forget, not this quickly, not on their own. it takes a millennia at least. So obviously there’s nothing for him to try and remember.  He goes back to the hospital, making sure to walk in and not just show up, though he hates the extra seconds it keeps him from his loved ones. A father, he’s finally a father. It’s such an overwhelming thought. It’s not as if he hasn’t helped raise little ones. But humans are different and he can’t say with any confidence that he was any great success as a parental figure. thirty percent abandoned him for Lucifer and then later, half rejected him for Castiel. Hardly an impressive record. He’s not the same angel he was, though. He knows more, understands more, feels more again. And he has Alex to help him through.

          “Mr. Jones.” Nurse Dwyer, runs up to him as he nears the room. “We’ve been trying to get ahold of you.” 

          “Is something wrong?”

          “Janet, call Dr. Brown. Tell him Mr. Jones is here. If you would come with me, please.” Their room in the maternity ward is empty as he passes by. 

          “Stop.” Raphael stops walking, looking into the room. “Tell me, breifly, where my wife and daughter are and why, or I will go find them myself.” Nurse Dwyer gives a sigh.

           “Mrs. Jones is in the ICU, your daughter is in the NICU. We don’t know how or why but both have them have slipped into a coma. We’ve put them in isolation in case it’s viral or a bacterial contagion though we haven’t found any yet, since the both of you have reported being out of the country recently.”

            “A psychology conference in germany, hardly the depths of a tropical jungle.” Raphael frowns at the woman. “They were both perfectly healthy when i left them or I wouldn’t have left them.” he protests. “I made sure of it.” But there’s no possible way she could interpret that as anything but wishful or delusional thinking. Maybe that his emotions are making him irrational, which in truth they must be or he wouldn’t have said anything like he did. “Take me to them.”

             The NICU is closest. Abigail has been given an iv, and hooked to monitors and a pulse ox in a way that makes him hate the sight of what he knows are usually medically necessary tools. But she is in perfect health. She’s simply deep in an unwakeable sleep and there’s no apparent reason why. When he’s taken to Alex she’s the same way. There’s no illness to cure, damage to fix, injury to heal, they are simply trapped. And he doesn’t know how.

              He returns to where he was and goes through the motions, signing the papers to maintain care, and calls for his sister to come help him.

 

              Michael stands bristling in the seal, waiting as the librarian rushes around to find all the components of the sigil to destroy them. The little involuntary cry of distress she gives each time she finds one in one of the books or scrolls, has reduced to a whimper.  After this last whimper Michael a piece of sigil disappears that apparently was blocking him from communication and he hears Raphael calling for him in distress. Something about Alex and Abigail and asking him to bring Helel to help. There’s no response when Michael attempts to ask for clarification, obviously he’s still being kept from calling outward, at least beyond the confines of the library..

               “Harahel.” Michael calls to him. The librarian rushes over.

               “Are you free yet? Have I found them all?” She comes over.

               “No. But Raphael is in distress. I need you to go inform Helel that his brother needs him, return Michelle to her father, and inform Raphael of my predicament. If you see Gabriel tell her to come and free me or I will pluck her like a chicken and stuff her with her own feather.” He snaps. The librarian gives a nod and leaves the library.

               Even if this is an old forgotten prank from before Gabriel first left heaven that was just now activated, it is irritating and embarrassing and tries his patience. Helel said that she feared Michael but obviously she doesn’t fear her nearly enough. That brat actually warded her out of all of heaven except the library. If Alex and Abigail are in danger... he had repeatedly told Helel not to turn off his cellphone for any reason as well. What was he thinking? What is he doing? 

               After a few minutes of stewing in his own irritation and embarassment, Raphael appears and alters the floor of heaven at Michael’s feet until it’s the same exact color and composition as the sigil embedded in it. Suddenly Michael has the answer to a question he’d never cared about enough to ask, why there were random dark tiles across heaven. He’d assumed it was just an odd aesthetic preference of Raphael’s but apparently his younger brother had taken care of quite a few of Gabriel’s pranks without informing him of them back in the earliest days. 

               “Thank you.” He mutters embarrassed to no end. “What’s wrong? What’s happened to Alex and Abigail?” 

               “I don’t know. That’s why I need Helel. You know he’s better with spells and curses and I’m fairly sure this is one, though for some reason I can’t detect it. It’s the only explanation…”

               “I sent the librarian to let him know you needed him.”

               “We’ll return to the hospital then. What happened to you?” Raphael can’t help but ask, despite his concern for his family. “And why didn’t you send for me as soon as this happened?”

                “Never mind that.” Michael really does not want to admit that he let his embarrassment at being caught in this ridiculous prank keep him from asking for help from more than the librarian. “When I find Gabriel not only is she fixing every single piece of damage in the library this little prank of hers has caused, I’m going to sit her down and force her to stay until she tells me what the fuck is wrong with her!”

                 “I don’t think there’s enough time in the world for that conversation.” Raphael snaps, feeling oddly uncomfortable at the mention of his sister in an entirely new way, though he’s not sure why. there is absolutely nothing new about any of this nonsense.  He and Michael get back to the hospital room just as the nurse checks Alex’s IV and examines the young woman as closely as he can. There’s something on her arm wrapped around her skin before binding with her nerves. A thread of an ancient curse that simply says choose. When he checks Abigail, the same is on hers.

                 “I don’t see it. Why don’t I see any of that? I should… “Raphael says quietly as soon as Michael reveals it to him. A hand on his little brother’s shoulder doesn’t seem to be enough, but it’s better than nothing.

                  “You would have eventually.” Michael attempts to comfort him, which also isn’t enough. It’s honestly to be expected. Raphael always did tend to get a overwhelmed by his emotions at first, his distress at the pain felt by his siblings that he felt as well, often more than one angels pain at a time, used to paralyze him. It took so long for him to learn how to push it aside and just act. But it depended on knowing what to do so well that he didn’t even have to think about anything. He wasn’t trained to deal with curses like this, and not on ones he loves too much to hope to stay calm. “It’s a curse, We’ll find out what it is. We’ll undo it. You can stay with them. We’ll take care of everything, I swear to you.” Michael kisses his brother’s head, embracing him. The problem with Gabriel will have to be set aside for now. “If you need me, for anything, call for me. Even if it’s just because you don’t want to be alone.”

                   “I will.” Raphael doesn’t let go, though, not for a few more minutes. 

 

                  Helel watches his wayward little sister through the veil as she restlessly paces the church floor. She stops to repair the cracks in the walls, polish the crucifxes, refresh the flowers. She even runs her fingers over the pews smoothing out the woodwork eliminating possible splinters and rounding out corner. She looks bored, so she’s… child proofing the church? Even the minor enchantments she puts on the bibles are simple ones to trigger nightmares based on being on the receiving end of their most egregious sins. Rather inspired honestly. If he can ever get is Mule to let him back in again, he’ll have to come here and examine that one a bit more closely

                  “The ground is consecrated.” Castiel informs him, as if he couldn’t see that very well already. “She hasn’t done anything else except read the bibles and the treats and.. and I think she’s been praying. To.. to our father.” This gets Helel’s attention even more than the rest of it.

                   “I don’t understand.”

                   “Neither do I, sir.”

                   “Don’t call me ‘sir’.” Helel snaps, forgetting to keep his voice even. Could it be possible she was telling the truth? No. More likely she found a way to bypass the protection of consecrated ground.

                   “My apologies, brother. I believe she’s been using the interweb in the pastors office to research mythology as well. She even has a cell phone I’ve never seen before that she’ll just stop and view pictures on at random times. I haven’t been able to see any of them yet so I cannot tell you their significance.”

                    “I can’t keep reports of this from reaching Michael much longer. Go back to Raphael and have him come for her. He needs to get her to safety.” Helel orders the angel, though he can’t for the life of him believe that he actually has to tell this angel to do this blindingly obvious and necessary thing. 

                    “He’s been trying, but she refuses to comply, or even to speak to him. And he’s unusually unable to entice her with anything. Of course they’ve been quarreling, but… it’s never gotten to this degree before.” Castiel shakes his head.

                     “Useless little…” Helel gives a sigh and closes his eyes for a moment before snapping his fingers. A pair of shackles appear in castiel’s hands. “Give him these. Tell him you found them in that bunker. They’re modeled after ones I destroyed from there so it’s not exactly a lie.”

                      “It is if i say I found them in the bunker.’

                      “Very well.” Helel snaps the cuffs away again. “They’re in that bunker now. Go find them.” The angel nods and disappears. Sometimes he wonders about his youngest siblings, and wonders less why some consider humanity superior. Not that his opinion of humanity has improved any. 

                       Could it be the truth? Could this truly be a different Gabriel, one who never took the mark. One who never fell, never made a realm of damnation,never fell never corrupted humanity be like? A humanity not in need of salvation, not in need of Helel. It’s almost daunting to think of, frightening.  But that’s not the proper way to think of it. so he doesn’t. His goal is to render himself obsolete, unneeded, worthless. The fact that such a thing is impossible should be saddening not comforting.

                        Helel retreats to the cold emptiness of space to compose himself. It’s just another trick. An exceptionally good one. Humanity needs him, it’s always needed him. They’re inherently flawed and imperfect beings. Whether they were tempted or tricked or not, they would always have fallen. It was inevitable. That’s just who they are. They were always, always going to need angels too, be dependant on them for salvation, or even their mere survival. Left to their own devices they never would have become even half as exceptional as they are.

                  A strange feeling grips his chest, grabbing at the core of his very being. A blinding pain tears at him like nothing he’d ever felt before, and disrupts the harmony of his being. Helel is breifly aware of seeing his own angelic form echoing in the cosmos. The sight makes him want to die.

                   He can see himself, as the empty shell he always knew he was, his glow almost nonexistence, barely showing the limits of his wavelength. As he always suspected, he’s nothing but an empty mirror. Out here with nothing to reflect he can see himself as the illusion he somehow knew he was. The nothingness that consumes him is almost a relief.

 

                   “It worked!” He heas his little sister squeal with delight. “Oh, you magical witchy genius, I could kiss you. This is fantastic, you’re fantastic. Here, have a cookie!” Helel opens his eyes to see Bree place a tall oreo into the mouth of an older red haired woman. Or at least it’s her vessel.

                    “What is this? Triple stuffed?” The woman takes it out and looks at it.

                    “Two mega stuffed with one cookie side removed, then pressed together, so a quintuple stuffed? Mega stuffed is more than double stuffed but not actually triple stuffed to be honest.”  She ponders with a serious concentration making the statement more absurd than it would be otherwise. Bree grins and turns to her brother who goes to sit up, but everything is strange and heavy and awkward and off balance. He’s breathing. Why is he breathing? What is that feeling in the middle of his being?  He’s in a vessel but it’s never felt like this.

                    “ Hello dearie.” The redhead smiles at him. “Welcome. Can I get you a drink? A sandwich?” the mention of food provokes a noise he recognises as a growling stomach, though it’s never come from his being before. No, not possible.

                    These feelings, these sensations, strong and insistant, clamoring in every part of him except for his vision where he sees only matter at the basest level and smell where of all the scents he knows to be in the room are muted except for a few which pull at him like nothing he’s felt before. The yearning, the desire with no clear direction. His eyes just keep going to the cookie, and when he tears them away they’re captured by the large table of food where the smell of pastries is so sweet and distracting. How can it be so compelling that he can’t even focus on the fallen angel gloating above him. Is it some sort of enchantment? Part of him reminds himself that he’s seen hunger to this to humans but he refuses to believe it. Its a matter of will power. Not biology and he refuses to believe that he could be affected this way by nature alone.

                   “You’re hungry.” Bree says full of wonderment. “How does it feel? I’ve always wondered. If they’re hungry enough will steal for food, fuck for food, kill for food.  I wonder what I could make you do.” The nightingale picks up a pretty cupcake with blue frosting and walks over to kneel before her brother. “Probably not much. You don’t know even know what you’re missing yet.”

                     “What did you do?” Helel demands gripping the cushions under him as tightly as he can to keep himself from for the treat.

                      “I traded you in for a better version are who understand me, what I went through, what I’m going through, one who embraces what the earth has to offer.” She looks to the ceiling, stars in her eyes, like one who has had all her dreams come true, or at least within reach. “But that doesn’t mean I’m giving up on you entirely. You never gave up on me after all.” Bree gives her brother her kindest smile. “This is all so new to you, I can take care of you, show you how you work. I can be your guardian angel as you were once mine. But better.” She plops down in his lap and caresses his cheek. Helel moves away, trying to think of what to do what to say, but the sweet smell of the cupcake keeps his attention on it.

                       “Here, have a bite.” Bree puts it to his lips. “It’s just a cupcake, Helel. That’s all. It's not sinful or enchanted or unholy. You don’t actually have to sin to enjoy yourself, you know, to enjoy the body you’re in. It’s just so much better when you do.” She brushes her fingers back through his hair. “This is cute. I like it.” Bree turns back to the redhead. “It needs to be spiky though, do you have any mousse?”

                       Helel tries to retreat inward to speak with his vessel to find out what’s going on, but there’s nothing but an empty void. There doesn’t even seem to be a soul inside but that’s impossible.

                       “Holdon.” Bree puts the cupcake aside and starts to run her fingers through her brother’s hair. “So much better with those cheekbones. Man, even as a stupid human girl, he’s prettier than me.” Bree pouts, almost a scowl.

                       “Gabriel…” Helel forces himself to speak gently, affectionately to her, though his voice is harder to control as he is. “Bree. Are you alright? You’ve been acting so strangely lately. I’m sorry if I upset you by not playing along, but the game was too dangerous for you. I know you’re in turmoil, paseh.”

                        “Oh, I bet you do.” Bree snickers.

                       “Just look inside yourself. Find that piece of you that inspired you to make amends. To give my samuel back his soul, save his life… I know that the sister who could do…”

                        “What!” Bree shreiks, jumping to her feet. “She  WHAT!? NO! That was the only thing protecting me from her!”

                        “I thought the mark was the thing keeping Michael at bay.”

                        “No, not Michael, Mary! I can’t go back now! Ahhh, what the hell was she thinking? That stupid…”

                        “You’re afraid of Mary Winchester?” Helel widens his eyes, astonished at this.

                        “Uh, yeah.” Bree gives him an incredulous look. “She has my fucking blade doesn’t she? She even managed to have it warded it against me the bitch.” Among all the peices of information he’s receiving right now one stands out among all others.

                        “She was telling the truth.” The realization hits him like a brick. He didn’t believe the angel when she said she wasn’t his nightingale. Of course not, why would he? He’d have had to be stupid to believe her.

                          “Let me guess.” Bree chuckles. ‘Mirror me tried to tell you she wasn’t really me, didn’t she? But no one believed her. She is the devil of course, at least over there she is.  And guess, what brother, no one’s going to believe you either. because in this place, I’m not the evil one.” She kisses her brother’s forehead. “You are.”


	16. Old Habits Die Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No matter what thread of reality they're in brothers always act like brothers.  
> Luci and Helel deal with their Michael's.

                 “I’m sorry. I can’t find him.” Harahel tearfullly apologizes to Michael. “He isn’t anywhere and I don’t…”

                 “It’s alright, little one.” He pats her head. “Go tend to your library, I will take over the search.” He’s not entirely sure why he asked this one to look for Lucifer anyway. 

                 “Thank you. I’m sorry.” She disappears, likely off to return her vessel first. She’s fairly useless for anything outside the library, honestly, it’s his own fault for sending her.

                 “Harahel.” Michael calls her back, remembering the curse. 

                 “Yes, sir?”

                 “Find out whatever you can about a curse that looks like this.” He quickly sketches the spell as entwined in Alex’s arm.  “I will be asking Sam for help with this as well so be sure to share your research with him, even any restricted materials. When I find Helel he will be joining the effort as well.”

                  “Yes,sir.” The angel looks relieved to have a request within his skill set. “Is.. is Michele alright?”

                  “Yes. It’s Alex and Abigail who have been afflicted with this one.” He informs her.

                  “Oh no, is Raphael okay?” She puts a hand to her mouth.

                  “I believe I gave you an order, soldier.” Michael firms reminds her. The angel nods and disappears again. She’s a sweet thing but he really doesn’t understand why that hunter girl wants her on hunting trips at all to be honest. 

                   Michael stops in at the bunker to inform the Winchesters of the situation. Apparently they’re not answering their phones either.

                  “Michele, honey.” Sam sighs, placing a grilled cheese sandwich on the table in front of his daughter, clearly beyond exasperated since he’s saying her given name as is. “You were just dreaming.”

                  “ No, I wasn’t. I wasn’t!” She pushes the plate off the table. “You… you’re just a mean old liar and I hate you!” She gets down off the chair and runs to her room, ignoring her uncle Michael as she passes him. Sam sighs and rests his hands on the table, bowing his head.

                  “I thought she was with her uncle.” Michael comments.

                  “No, something came up. Her mother brought her home, did not even attempt to explain herself at all not saying more than ‘I’m alive. Chill’ and vanished again. Shelly just had a nightmare in which she had a hellhound follow her home and instead of letting her keep it as a pet I killed it so she’s mad at me for that. And even more angry with me for saying it was only a dream. Not that we haven’t had some vivid disturbing dreams today. I dreamed I had to start working with her uncle to find her after she was abducted from the park and her uncle dreampt someone tuned his car into an actual impala and locked us in the garage with it with no way out but to kill it. So, none of us are what you’d call rested right now. What’s up. What do you need?” Sam gives Michael a weary look.

                 “Someone’s cursed Alex and Abigail. Harahel is researching it, but if you could help as well, we would appreciate it. Where are Dean and Castiel? We need to find out who did this.”

                  “They went out to a concert. They were gone when I woke from my nap. I’ll let them know immediately.” Sam straightens up. “I…” he looks to where Shelly ran. “Let me see what I can do about finding a baby sitter.”

                   “Just work with Harahel on the research. This is the curse hidden in her arm.” Michael hands him a copy. “It says ‘choose’. As soon as I see Helel, he’ll be working on it as well. You might not even be needed, but I thought you would want to know since it’s Alex.”

                   “Yeah, no, of course.” Sam shakes his head taking the sketch. “Has Sherrif Mills been told yet?” Sam takes out his phone.

                    “I don’t know. Raphael is fairly distraught. He’s staying nearby to make sure neither of them suffer any physical harm as a result of the curse before we can remove it.” Michael explains. Besides which when the sherrif gets told, that means Claire will find out as well and the last thing Raphael needs right now is to deal with Ms. Novak.

                     “I’ll do my best. You brother should be home right now shouldn’t he? Shelly probably wore him out. It’s difficult watching a nephilim without any of your own angelic powers.” Sam looks down at the sandwich on the floor and picks it up with a sigh.

                       “Thank you for your assistance. I’m certain Michele will come around after a good night’s sleep.” Michael gives him a nod and returns back to the apartment just in case Luci had returned between the time Harahel checked it and now. If the angel had thought to look there at all.

                      Sure enough, he’s in the bedroom, fast asleep. Though it seems he went to the salon and also bought some new lengerie. He certainly didn’t expect watching Shelly to put him in any kind of affectionate mood. Maybe it stirred some latent maternal desires in him. Raphael will have to correct whatever he did to make his brother barren, but maybe… No, that’s really not something to think about right now.  Michael just sits on the bed beside his lover and gently nudges his shoulder to wake him.

                      “Helel, you need to wake up, there’s an emergency.”

                      “Don’t be absurd Mitcha, angels don’t sleep.” Comes the not quite conscious reply. Michael just gives a slight smile and tries again.

                      “I’m serious, honey, someone’s cursed Alex and Abigail.”

                      “W-what did you just…” his eyes open suddenly, “What… Michael?” He scrambles back against the headboard a little freaked out. Apparently everyone’s been having odd dreams. “What are you wearing?”

                      “I know you’re tired, but we need you for this. You know you’re better at spells and curses than I am.” Michael doesn’t quite apologize.

                      “Yes, I do.  I’m surprised to hear you say it though.” Helel frowns. “A curse… I… I don’t know what I can do like this. Why is this so incredibly important than doing something about my current state?”

                       “Not the time for that Helel. Do you recognize this?” Michael ignores the tired selfish grousing, handing him a picture of an arm with a curse twisted around the nerves.

                      “It’s a mother and child, right?” Helel looks at it silently. “This is a cruel one. The father will have to choose one of them to live at the expense of the other. I’ve taken care of one of these before a few thousand years ago but not without my grace. It’s firmly threaded though. You can’t brute force this without shattering them both.” He hands the paper back. 

                      “I know that.” Michael’s clearly irritated at the warning, though it’s not as if that’s not his go to method for dealing with things.”I’m not an idiot.”

                      “No, not when you take the time to actually think about things before acting, which isn’t exactly often.” Helel retorts testily.

                       “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for Shelly to find out about… your past, not like that. I really am. I wasn’t thinking when I spoke, but this is not the time to take an attitude.” Michael frowns. “I thought that this was possibly your way of making up, but I suppose that was just wishful thinking. No one holds a grudge like you do, adter all.”

                       “Oh, really?” Helel puts his hands on his hips. “You’ve been holding a grudge since the beginning of time, and you say that I’m…” He stops suddenly and looks down at his body. He looks surprised almost and slightly confused, before the expression turns into one of realization.

                       “Still not quite awake?” Michael offers an olive branch. “C’mon I’ll take you to the bunker to help with research.”

                       “Why are you here? With me?” Helel looks up at him almost warily. “I’m evil, aren’t I? Or are you not the righteous general of heaven’s army and unquestioning force of good you’ve always been?” The question seems to piss his brother off. It almost seems as if he’s just started a major argument, but Michael does something he hasn’t done since Helel was a small child. He takes a breath, and swallows his irritation.

                       “I don’t have time for this. With Gabriel acting up and our niece being born and cursed in the same week I would have hoped you could bury your ego for at least one crisis but I suppose that was expecting too much. If you won’t help, I can’t make you. But I thought you at least cared about Raphael enough to face concern for his family.” Michael takes off back to the library to let Harahel know what he’s learned and cool off a little before coming back to try and reason with the sulky brat. 

  
  


                        It has to be a dream. Luci looks at his hands, his bright shining angelic hands, as he feels the weight of his wings on his back. This glorious expanse of being, beyond a matter shell seems to have been denied to him for so unbearably long, though in truth it’s been just a fraction of a second in the days of his existence. But amidst the heady sensation is one of pain and discomfort that he hasn’t felt before, not like this.

                       “Helel!” Michael calls to him and he sees her in all her glory, the vibrant wavelengths so inadequately remembered. “What’s wrong? What’s happened? Are you hurt?” She takes hold of his arms, looking him over as if Luci restored to his grace is out of the ordinary. She burns with a white hot flame of concern. Her being matching her six lovely wings.

                      “Have I ever told you just how beautiful you are?” Luci smiles at her, ignoring the pain. Michael gives him an odd, confused and even more concerned look. He goes to move his wings, but the attempted motion makes the pain more familiar. “Why do I feel as if I’ve been shot in the chest?” Luci puts his hand to his chest, noticing that his tunic is torn, as if he’d had his heart ripped from his chest. Fortunately that’s one feeling he hasn’t experienced as a human, though somehow it feels a more appropriate description.

                     “I’m taking you home.” Michael gathers him in her arms, and carries him back towards heaven.  Everything just feel wrong, painfully off somehow. Not as painful as the mark but jarring compared to the relative painlessness of the human condition.  

                     “What are you doing?” Luci feels alarmed at he realizes he being taken to heaven. “Michael, that’s a bad idea. You can’t take me there. Our br…” but it’s too late. The angels at the gate have seen them, as well as not a few behind them who dart forwards at the sight of him.

                     “Helel! What happened?” Swarms of angels fly out to them with surprising speed. “Are you alright? Brother are you hurt?” They speak almost as one, brimming with concern and alarm.

                     “Everyone, return to your posts. Have Ariel meet us in our chambers immediately.” Michael orders. Ariel? But left with him in the fall. Raphael killed her in the third battle. For that matter why is she being called instead of Raph? He hasn’t felt so off balance since that day during the apocalypse when gabriel showed up.

                     The timbre and resonance of heaven is so soothing, more than it has been since well before he was cast out of heaven. But it makes the pain in his being worse, more dissonant. As if he doesn’t belong here in heaven and what’s more it knows that he doesn’t belong.  Michael manifests a comfortable round cushiony nest to rest him on and gently puts him down on it.               

                     “Tell me what happened? How have you been hurt?” She demands far more imperiously than he feels is really appropriate. Especially since Michael isn’t even addressing the fact that Luci is both without his body and with his grace again.

                     “I don’t know. I was just talking to Gabriel and then…” He thinks. What were they talking about? He can’t remember anything except feeling really appalled and creeped out which is incredibly disturbing given he can’t think of anything that could still do that.

                      “You WHAT!” Michael’s flames tinge blue, flaring up in a surprising burst of temper. 

                      “Michael, sir.” Ariel arrives, firmly addressing the archangel. She has a brave face but Luci knows she must be nervous. If only from the twitching of her wings. though honestly who wouldn’t be with Mitcha in this kind of mood. “May I attend him?” Michael doesn’t answer right away, struggling to control herself and looks at the angel breifly before turning back to Luci.

                      “We will discuss this shortly.” She pronounces as if expecting him to argue. Luci didn’t realize how long it’s been since Michael’s taken that particular tone with him until she used it again just now. It’s even more infuriatingly irritating than he remembers.

                      “Discuss what?” Luci demands before letting himself get too pissed off.

                      “Discuss what?” She gives  an astonished look. “Discuss you going behind my back and consorting with the enemy! That’s what we’re discussing.” Michael breifly steps closer but forces herself to turn away. “Unbelievable….”

                      “M-michael?” Ariel asks a bit timidly.

                      “Fine, tend to him. You are not to leave this room until I speak with you again. Do you understand me?” She did not just try and fucking ground him.

                      “Perfectly.” Luci replies cooly.

                      “If you don’t mind, brother.” Ariel asks bashfully, coming closer.

                      “Of course not. It’s good to see you, Ree.”He gives her a smile which she returns before examining him.

                      “Hmm, there’s not… I don’t understand. You’re out of harmony, slightly and colder than you were here at your core.” the angel places her hand on his chest, trying to concentrate. “It’s as if someone tried to pull you out of yourself, but that’s impossible. I just… I don’t know. I wish Raph…” She stops herself looking a bit frightened at the slip. “I wish I were more skilled.”

                      “Where is Raphael?” Luci refrains from griping at his little brother. He probably wasn’t told and would quite possibly freak out at seeing his big brother with his grace back given there are still a few scores that really should be settled at some point. Hopefully he’s not absent because of issues with Alex and Abigail.

                      “Wh.. Sheol probably.” She frowns. “I… brother, how much pain are you in?” Ariel suddenly sounds extremely worried. As if obscene pain would be the only reason he would want the healer of healers to take care of him.

                       “I’ve felt worse. Go tell Michael that I’m fine.” Luci slowly gets back to his feet, and repairs his tunic. It takes longer than it should but so did doing human things take some adjustment time.

                       “I can’t tell him that. You aren’t fine. i don’t know what you are.” She flusters. Really? 

                        “Fine, just report on my condition then.” He rubs his chest trying to find the edges of the discord within as he looks at the walls of his room. It’s so bare. What happened to all of his things?

                      “You won’t go anywhere..”Ariel looks at him cautiously, not one of his stupider siblings.

                      “Where would I go?” He examines the shelves, also empty. This doesn’t quite satisfy her but Ariel must know it’s the best she’ll get so she leaves regardless. Luci does as well.

                     Hell. What is that brat doing there? The woman he loves to the point of utter idiocy just gave birth to a human thing he considers his child. What part of that would make him think, well, time to go to hell? Well, if he can skip out on Alex and Abigail to traipse around Luci’s old place, then he can take a little time to fix whatever the fuck is wrong with Luci. Maybe Raph can even tell him what the hell happened for him to get his grace back. Michael’s clearly in some sort of mood and will be beyond impossible to talk to right now, so Raphiel it is.

                     And where’s his vessel? Not that it matters so much in Hell. Alright, what the fuck did they do to his kingdom? He was expecting a demolished broken wreck from when Michael rescued him from Crowly, not this. It looks more like a series of giant raves. Some weird museum exhibit. Feasts and orgies throughout the ages. Even more concerning he’s halted at the gates, unable to even pass the threshold. They locked him out? They locked him out of his own kingdom? How in the name of all that is do any of them even know how to do that!  He bangs on the gate as hard as he can. Even if they are audacious enough to shut him out, no one’s brave enough to come forward to personally deny him entry or challenge his presence.

                    “Can I help you?” the disdainful yet astonished voice of his younger brother sounds almost as if Luci is the one with the brass balls in this situation. He looks up at the top of the gate to see his brother leaning on the railing of a previously nonexistent balcony. One also very well warded against him. Beyond that he’s in yet another new vessel. Maybe Alex was getting tired of the old one.

                   “Yes, you can stop fucking around and get your truant ass down here.” Luci points to the ground. Raphael just raises an eyebrow at this. “Are you actually going to make me ask? Fine you little brat, I’m hurt and I need your help. So help me? Please.” The looks Raphael’s giving him at this is like… like one he would have expected him to have should Luci went right up to heaven’s gate in the middle of the civil war and done this. But since there’s no war and they’re actually getting along, he’s just being a little bitch for some reason. Possibly the same reason Michael is.  Luci’s starting to think the first thing he’s going to have to do after he takes care of this is go find Gabriel and bind her and and wing until she confesses what she did and properly makes amends for it.  

                    “And why would you possibly even begin to think I would ever help you with anything in any way.” Oh, Raphael had better hope this is because of something Gabriel did because Luci can absolutely beat his sulky ass for this now. If Raphael honestly thinks he won’t, then he has lost his ever loving mind.

                    “Because your my brother.” He says simply as he’s fairly sure mentioning purgatory or anything he’s done that might conceivably be viewed as Raphael owing Luci would only start a pissing contest of what Luci owes Raph, Both because of what Raphael’s done for him and what Luci’s done to Raphael. He honestly can’t imagine winning that particular argument.

                    “You have never, not once called me your brother. Not once since I was created. You must be just one step ahead of uncle to try to plead with me that way.” Raphael just gives a humorless laugh and shakes his head. “Well, Bree’s not here. And while I respect her love for you enough not to just come down and attempt to kill you in your vulnerable state…” Yeah, because he knows Luci would still kick his ass regardless. Who the hell does that little brat think he’s kidding? “There is nothing in all of existence than can induce me to heal you under any circumstances. I can’t even believe you’re asking. You arrogant heartless bastard.” Raphael turns away, leaving Luci just standing there, both astonished and enraged. That ungrateful little shit. Luci gave up a fucking throne in purgatory for him and he… What the hell is going on?

                       “Did something happen with Alex? Is that why you’re being all bitchy like this?” Luci asks, unable to think of anything else. It might explain Michael’s mood too honestly. This makes Raphael stop his exit and turn back slightly.

                        “Who the hell is Alex and why do you and Bree think I… you know what,  forget it. I hope you fester and rot with all the pain your emptiness is capable of, you arrogant, overrated carnival mirror.” The angel storms away. “Castiel, go escort your boss back to heaven where he belongs.”

                        “W-what?” Luci hears Castiel say with the panic of one who has just been outed in the middle of a WBC revival. “What do you mean?”

                         “Do you honestly think we both haven’t known since the day your arrived? I am done with this. I am done with you I even more done with him and I didn’t even think that was possible and I am finally done with her. I am done with all of this! Let Castiel Leave unharmed. But if he tries to return, kill him!” Raphael makes the balcony vanish back into a solid impenetrable wall. Luci just stares at the gate as Castiel, oddly minus his signature trench coat, gets shoved out. What the fuck is going on? 

 


	17. Sister, Sister

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci decides to gather information  
> Gabriel makes a very bad decision  
> Raphael leaves his wife and takes 'the baby', dropping her off at the winchester's feet.

                     “They’re having more severe marital problems than I previously assumed ,” Castiel says quietly as he reaches Luci. “It’s making them both so much more difficult. I’m sorry, sir… I should have done better.”

                     “Sir?” Luci raises an eyebrow. Since when has Castiel spoken to him with any sort of deference? 

                     “My apoloies, Helel.” Castiel sighs. “Should I continue to attempt to moniter Gabriel? Is there another assignment for me or may I have permission to rescue my vessel’s daughter?” 

                      “You report to me.” Luci examines the angel before him, trying not to sound too surprised at this apparently matter of fact thing he’s implying. “Your just a seraph.” He’d just gotten used to the little rebel being promoted to archangel, too. Is that what happenend? He got back grace from this thing? No, that’s impossible. 

                      “I have to try sir.  I promised her father.” Castiel takes a breath and draws his sword, preparing to walk back into hell.

                      “Oh for, come with me.” Luci hold of ihs arm and drags him back to earth. “Alright, son, tell me what’s going on.” He places the vessel compacted angel down on the surface of the moon and sits before him. It’s strange being so big again. Not as strange as the abashedly pleased look this Castiel gets at being called ‘son’. It’s oddly dissappointing as well. 

                      “You want me to report?”

                      “Yes, report, whatever.” He curls his wings around himself holding his chest in place, not that it’s actually in danger of falling apart, it just feels that way. And where is that damned trenchcoat? He never wears anything else. Maybe he’s interrupting a date.

                       “I believe the rift occurred a few days ago on their anniversary. Raphael was meeting privately with an ecstatic manager in regards to the anniversary gift. Unfortunately the nightingale, Bree…” He hastily corrects himself to an even more odd nickname. Prior to Claire and Alex noone called Gabriel ‘Bree’ except for Raphael in their rare, more affectionate moments. But what did he say before that?

                        “Nightingale?” Luci sits up. Sam had something like that on his back. Property of the nightingale. With bird shaped love bites.

                        “Yes, sir. My apologies sir. She doesn’t like us to call her that either. I should not have forgotten myself in my irritation with the situation.” Castiel apologizes, looking a bit embarrassed.

                         “Castiel.” Helel interrupts him. “Who am I?”

                         “I apologize… Helel. I’m concerned for the young Miss Novak.”

                         “Just answer the question. Who am I to you, to heaven, to everyone.”

                         “You’re Helel ben Sahar, viceroy of heaven, patron saint of the fallen, the shining star leading mankind into righteousness away from the temptations of the nightingale. The best and brightest of all angels. The light bringer, even if you are too humble to claim that title for yourself, we all know you are.” If not for the heartfelt  sincerity evident in the declarations, it would almost sound rote.

                         “Huh,” Luci considers. “Very well, continue your report. Start at the beginning of this ‘marital rift’ and leave out nothing. Never mind what you’ve already told me, you may have gained new perspective due to more recent events. Understand?”

                          “Yes, Helel, sir.”

 

                          Gabriel looks up at the stained glass window and wonders if her husband is alright. If her daughter is as well. Their siblings will protect him and Shelly of course, but only from so much. She’s well aware of how badly she’s hurt Sam, and that was when she was trying to help him. That was before he loved her. And Shelly is just a child, thinking this angel in Gabriel’s place is her mother. The damage she could cause to either of them is too terrible to think of. 

                         She’d hoped beyond hope that Michelle would at least reach puberty before her mind was subjected to the inevitable psychological scarring and heart breaking. But that’s unreasonably, excessively, idealistically optimistic even for just a regular human girl, much less a Winchester, and a Nephilim at that. But to be scarred that way by the person you think if your wife, your mother.... 

                         She has to do something. She has to find a way home. How will staying in churches help any of that? Did he even actually say to just stay in them? Or just go and pray and do nothing else? Because she’s already done that. She’s spoken to Raphael, to… to Helel, to Castiel, to Sam there’s not really anyone else to turn to except.. except Michael.

                        But that’s a bad idea. If she’s the devil, they’ve already made it clear that for whatever reason Michael is determined to destroy her with extreme prejudice. She would never help her. Never. Of course, Gabriel never thought Michael would ever accept her or Sam, her daughter, anything about her and her life afer leaving heaven if she’s being completely honest. But she did, because despite it all, Miqa loved her and always did. Granted all that was with the aid of intensive therapy but still, she’s exhausted every other resource she knows of. Except Dean, but if Gabriel has been torturing this Sam then there’s even less chance of that one helping her at all. She’s not his sister. She’s Michael’s. Maybe she should have a little faith in her big sister. 

                       Gabriel takes a  deep breath and turns to the stained glass mural to the right of the cross.

                       “Michael, sister, I need to see you. Everything has gone terribly wrong and you’re the only only one I can turn to. This is probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever done in my life, but please, please hear me out. I need your help.”

                        In answer she hears the sound of the heavens tearing, crackling with fire as sharp as thunder. The church fills with the sound of ozone and a bright light. It’s like she’s not even trying to be careful. Does she not even care about potential casualties? Oh, right, no therapy. Shit.

                         “Nightingale.” Dean Winchester in a damn sheriff’s uniform appears before her. It shouldn’t surprise her. She knows this Dean is the Sheriff in Lawrence Kansas. And it especially shouldn’t be more disturbing than seeing Michael using Dean as a vessel like he was meant to be, but it is.

                        “Sheriff.” She jokes because she can’t help herself and mimes tipping her hat. Michael is clearly fully in charge , as there’s not a glimpse of humor in his face. Not that even her Dean will admit he finds her funny anymore.  “You’re going to kill me, aren’t you?” The statement feels less like a joke than a statement of fact. In response Michael manifests his sword and starts to walk towards her. “Okay. Well, I guess it’s your turn.” Gabriel sits down on a pew, not sure whether her lack of panic is because she trusts her Sister or because she’s just given up all hope entirely. Gabriel gives a slight laugh despite herself, and looks away. “Obi Wan Kenobi you’re my only hope.” She mutters to herself.  

                          “You ca-” Michael falters in his step briefly and stops before her. “I can’t kill you. You know I can’t.” Michael takes her by the neck, lifting her up to eye level. By can’t he clearly means ‘shouldn’t’. “I can’t kill you, I can’t cage you now, and I can’t forgive you either. I will never forgive for what you’ve done to Raphael, for taking him from me.” Of course, she should have thought about that. Michael loves her but she loves everyone else more.

                           “I know, Miqa.” She holds onto his wrist with both hands, if only to get enough slack to speak. “But I love you anyways.”  The look on his face is both terrifying and heartbreaking at the same time. Without another word, Michael raises his sword and in a single stroke that tears into the ether, severs her wings completely.  

 

                             Raphael sits on his hated purple velvet throne next to his wife’s plushy bean bag one and rests his head in his hands the charmed shackles hanging from his hands by the chain.. The entire world has lost their minds, more than they had already. Castiel, bringing him these things, thinking he’d actually use them on her.  Gabriel and her new stupid terrifying suicidal game. Helel just… It’s doubtful even their father knows what’s going on in his head. He can’t do it anymore, pulling order from chaos, reining her in, minimizing the damage, keeping her alive, occupied, and as harmless as he can. Loving her with everything he has and hoping it’s enough to keep her afloat just a little longer, to keep the sister he loves frown drowning in her own pain. He just can’t. Eight Days is enough.

                         “McCloud.” He calls to their steward, not looking up.

                         “Yes, majesty.”  Prompt as always.

                          “It’s yours.” Raphael stands up. “The regency is yours. You’ve done good work. You’ll be well suited for it.” he heads towards their private quarters. “Goodbye. When Bree needs me she can call for me.”

                          “Sire… Raphael, are you honestly expecting me to take the regency of hell in your place after telling your wife, Hell’s Queen that you have left  with no explanation or forwarding address?”

                          “You’ll manage.” He knocks on the door near the bathroom. “Claire. It’s time. We have to go.”

                         “And you’re taking the baby as well.” The soul gives a heavy sigh and shakes his head. “It would be kinder to cast me into oblivion yourself and just leave a note.”

                         “I’m not in the mood for Kindness, McCloud. Do as you like.”

                         “Really?” The young woman opens the door, rubbing her eyes. “It’s time to go? Why? Where’s dad? Is he...oh, god, he’s not dead is he?”

                         “No. Now no more questions, uri.” he pats her head affectionately. “It’s time to go.”

                          “One second, let me get mom.” She turns back and grabs a disk drive. “Okay.” Claire pushes her hair back, tying it with a pink ribbon. “No wait.” She goes back in and grabs the ring Bree gave her for her birthday. Then the cat from Castiel breifly before putting it back then taking it again.

                          “I’ll make certain you get all you need.” He reassures her and take her to earth. “I’ve done everything I can. I can conceal you from detection. I’ve taught you to heal and defend yourself. I’ve tried to teach you virtue but that’s harder when you’re not teaching by example.” Raphael ruffles her hair slightly.

                          “I dunno, I think you’re more virtuous than you seem.” She shrugs, crossing her arms awkwardly. “You know, comparatively.”

                          “Comparatively.” He gives a weak smile. “Do you see that house?”

                          “The one with the old ass car?” She looks where he’s pointing.

                          “Yes. The woman who lives there is a hunter. She’ll protect you, better than any could, but you’ll probably be found soon if you go there. Maybe not, but probably or you can go your own way. It’s up to you. Either way it’s unlikely I’ll be able to see you again in any but your dreams. Be good and never come home.” Raphael gently places a hand on her cheek. “Love you, Paseh.” he kisses her cheek and vanishes.

                          “Love you too, Uncle.” She takes a breath and looks at the house. Two small children run out the front door as a dirty blonde woman walks up the sidewalk. Children? She can’t go to where there are children. How could he call that safe? Raphael would never endanger children that w…  no… way…

                         Claire steps back as she sees that enormous gorgeous vessel of Bree’s brother Helel as he walks out of the house with another woman, old, almost white haired.A hunter indeed. No, she’ll take her chances on her own. If Bree would hurt her for running off even just with Raphael, she’d do even worse if she found her with Winchesters. Before they can spot her she turns around and walks away. Hopefully there should be a pawn shop somewhere close. 

                         A sudden shreik of wind like screams ripping through the air knocks her down. Dry brush in it’s path burst into flames so hot and sudden they incinerates in the air. Unfortunately one was around a telephone pole which with the wind pushing as well as the burning turning a chunk of it into charcoal, it falls down, ripping out the wires. Claire’s pulled back out of harms way, practically picked up by enormous arms and carried back nearer to the hunter’s house.

                       “I’m okay. I’m okay.”She pushes herself away from him.

                       “What the h-heck was that?” The younger woman looks around.

                       “Are you sure? You look shaken. Do you need to sit down?” The vessel asks.

                       “Yeah, I mean. Yes, I’m sure, I’m perfect. I’m good. Thanks Sa.. samaritan. Good Samaritan. What’s your name?” She tries to recover from the near slip. “Never mind, I have to go. I.. the bus stop.”  she points away back towards the live wires on the road. They’re not buying it. Are they buying it?

                        “Not that way. I’ll give you a ride.” The younger blonde woman with the children hugging her legs offers. “We’re going to visit Grandmas actually. so we can probably take you the whole way if it’s not too far away.” 

                         “Grandma with the cool car’s going hunting.” the older hunter pats the nearest twins curly head. She shows her son something on her cell phone. “Sam. You’re coming with me. No arguments.” 

                          “Where are you headed?” The vessel, Samuel asks Claire, “We’re headed in the opposite direction so we might be closer.”

                         “The… bus station, the big one. Not the little ones.” She motions with her hand then covers her eyes at how stupid she sounds. It’s not her fault. She was raised in hell since she was like nine. Not that she can say that. Especially not to these people. Would they torture her for information? She doesn’t know anything. All she knows is that Raphael is a hard ass of an instructor, and Satan likes to dress her up in frilly pink princess gowns like a little doll and play games she grew out of when she was six. Also that the devil has the greatest damn singing voice she’s ever heard with unlimited range and the ability to mimic perfectly any and every style. Listening to her sing was like a taste of heaven.  What the hell was Raphael thinking, leaving her here? Yeah, she knew it was going to happen eventually but… Claire sighs and looks away.

                           “I got there.” The woman with kids says. Shit, no, not kids. If Bree comes after her…

                           “No! No, I’m going their way.” she steps back closer to the hunters. Just take care of your kids, okay?”

                           “Suit yourself.” The woman raises an eyebrow and ushers the kids to the other car at the end of the driveway. 

                           “Bye Gramma, Bye Uncle Mule!” The little darlings wave. The older woman gives the vessel a mildly irritated look.

                            “Alright, let’s go.” He heads around to the other side of the old car.

                            “You know this isn’t going to save you from me, right, Sammy?” The hunter gives him a firm look as she opens the car door for Claire.

                             “I know, mom.” He sighs and sits in the back seat on the passenger’s side next to Claire.

                             “That’s not going to help either, young man.” She raises an eyebrow at him. “It’ll just make me louder.”

                             “Understood.”

                             “Where are you going?” Claire asks looking uncomfortably down at her hands.

                             “Church.” The hunter replies.

                             “St. Michael’s in Overland Park.” The vessel smiles at her. “We’re meeting my brother there. Do you have any siblings, miss...?” he trails off a clear invitation to give her name.

                             “No.” She ignores it and smooths out her skirt. As the car starts and the radio comes on.

                             “...massive explosions just outside Kansas City. So far no one seems to be harmed, but St. Michael’s cathedral, closed for repairs, seems to have been completely destroyed.”

                           “Buckle in. Now.” The woman snaps. The vessel does and buckles Claire’s seatbelt as well just in time for the old car to speed off down the road without regard for the laws of men or physics.

                             “Jesus, mom, did you add nitrous boosters?” The vessel looks into the front seat under the dashboard. 

                             “And a time look shift option. Your boy helped me put it in.” The old hunter grins back in the mirror. “I’m thinking of asking him to help me make this a convertable next time.”

                            “Mom.” The vessel straighten’s up. ‘First of all, you can’t refer to the.. my sponser as my ‘boy’. And secondly he’s kind of in charge of the family business, you can’t just ask him to fix your car.”

                            “Modify.” She interrupts. “And I didn’t. He offered. Have you spoken to him yet? After your extremely poor decision, I’m sure he’s worried about you.”

                            “No, I haven’t.”

                            “Well, don’t you think if we’re heading to the source of the explotion that took out a church it might be good to ask him to meet us there?” It’s funny how she sounds like she’s suggesting he might like to have an umbrella handy in case of rain. 

                            “Do you think you could drop me off first? i don’t want to go near a church explotion.” Claire requests. 

                            “Actually, Claire, I kind of think we want to keep you close at hand.” The vessel gives her an apologetic look. Claire turns pale… “Are you thirsty?” He takes a bottle of water out of the cooler and hands Claire a drink. “I’m Samuel Winchester, call me Mule. This is my mother, Mary.”

                           “I know who you are.” Claire slumps down in the seats and gives a sigh. “How do you know who I am?”

                            “You look like your father.” Samuel… Mule looks out the window. “Don’t worry, though. You’re safe now. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

                            “You’ll have to be alive to keep that particular promise.” Is his mother’s cryptic comment. Claire looks out the window at the world around them frozen still as they speed through it.

                             “This car is a lot cooler than it looks.” She confesses.

                             “You like that? You should check out the tunes.” This elicits a mild groan from her son just before the Beegees greatest hits starts to blare out of the speakers. 


	18. Picture Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherrif Dean and Mule are starting to suspect something is majorly off.  
> Luci seeks information in heaven  
> Sherrif Dean is really starting to worry about his angel

                    "Samuel." Michael appears as soon as they get out of the car, parked in the alley across from the decimated church. It looks more as if it blew down than exploded though. "You no longer have any need to fear for yourself or your loved ones. The nightingale has been neutralized." the phrase sounds ominous though Mule's not sure why he'd feel anything but relieved. From Claire's silence he assumes she has mixed feelings about this as well.

                    "Thank you." Mary gives her son's angel a hug and kiss on the cheek, which he stiffly but graciously accepts.

                    "There is a complication however. Helel has been injured. We're not certain how. Against my advice," Mule is well aware that by 'advice' Michael really mean's against his orders but doesn't want to deal with trying to discipline Helel for his disobedience. "He left heaven and he's not responding to my requests to return. I have to interrogate the nightingale to find out what she did to him, but if you could convince him to at least come to you, Samuel, it would be greatly appreciated." Michael still isn't great with the word please but the almost pleading look he gives Mule is enough.

                    "How... how did you catch her?" Mule asks, not promising anything. Helel generally does as he likes regardless even of his vessels request and making promises to Michael about his behavior in any way is a good way to piss him off.

                    "She was foolish. It was only a matter of time." Michael doesn't answer, but he takes out a smart phone from the jacket pocket. "She had this on her. It's protected against harm but nothing else. Find out what it contains that's so important." Michael hands it Mule. The protective sigils etched on the casing are actually pretty brilliant. He'll have to use those for his phone. "If you'll excuse me. My sister and I have a lot to discuss." Sam quickly closes his eyes and covers Claire's  
with his hand as does Mary as Michael leaves his vessel.

                    "Holy shit." Dean exclaims putting a hand to his mouth and turns back towards the church. "Holy fucking shit."

                    "Dean, there's a lady present." Their mother teases, nodding to Claire.

                    "Not really." Claire removes their hands from her eyes. "He... he really captured the nightingale?"

                    "No." Dean looks at the flaming ruins and catches a large singed golden feather blowing in the breeze. "I don't think he did."

                    "What?" Mule steps forwards. "Are you sure? And does he know that?"

                    "Please, you know how Mikey is when it comes to her. He wouldn't listen. He very nearly just killed her anyways. It was all I could do, to stop him." Dean turns around. "Mom, Sam, I think something more happened in that bunker than you know. I think that what she had planned for Helel happened to her instead."

                    "That's crazy, Dean. How can you possibly..." Mule tries to protest but describing an action as crazy doesn't neccessarily mean that she wouldn't have done it or tried to do it or caused it to happen. Honestly it pretty much guarantees that she did.

                    "Sam, you know I've met the devil, more times than I can even count. I know how she feels about Michael. It's written all over her face even just when she looks at me. But that angel, right there, in front of us. That wasn't hatred in her eyes, it was hope and desperation and... and heartbreak. It was everything I saw in your eyes when I arrested you Sam. The second time I mean, after Helel. Call your angel, Sam. I think we're going to need his help."

 

                    Luci looks down upon the earth, trying to take everything in. Helel ben Sahar, he still hates that name, but here, apparently he embodies it in a way he hasn't in a long time. Could he really just go right up to heaven, walk in, and sit down on the throne? And not just without opposition, but welcomed with Michael at his side, his siblings at his feet, loved by all of heaven and earth, his father's image every bit as much as humanity was said to be. Trusted, deferred to, obeyed, adored, the highest of the high, a king of kings, everything he's ever lost is just there, waiting for him.

                    "Helel, what is our next course of action?" Castiel requests orders.

                    "Well, I don't know about you, son, but I'm going home." He pats the angel's head and heads back to heaven for a proper look.

                    It's beautiful. Prisitine, untorn by civil war, untouched by darkness, full, harmonious. The angels in the hall, instead of viewing him with hatred and fear turn adoring eyes his way and he shines brighter than he has in a very long time. A small voice reminds him he doesn't deserve it, but he never did. It's possible this Helel he's replacing doesn't either. What does it matter? He has it now. He wanders through every hallways, every room, basking in the radiant affection sent his way. It's almost worshipful. It feels so good, how did he ever survive without it?

                    "She caught her!" A hushed yet joyful cry spreads through heaven. "Michael caught the nightingale!" it's as if they don't want to seem to happy about it in front of him. In truth, they give him a sympathetic look after they say it. Luci doesn't ask, and just ignores the whispers. Caught is not killed. Mitcha would never hurt Gabrielle regardless of anything, not really. Maybe it's a dream world or some construct in his own mind. But why would Gabrielle be the devil in it? Maybe he's still mad at her for making him human. Of course, if it was a dream, Raphael would have been all adoring as well, or at least not rejecting him out of hand like that again. He needs to find a bible and catch up. There will of course be one in the library.

                    "Brother." The Librarian approaches him meekly as Luci enters the stacks. "Do you still need the books or can I put them away?" the lovely little angel looks at him just as adoringly as any of them if not more.

                    "Let me see them for a little longer. And could you get me the first records, volumes one to three?" Luci remembers the original logs.

                    "I... No one's allowed to touch those." She looks down at her hands.

                    "Harahel, my precious Hara, I knew that. I wrote them. I think I'm allowed to touch them." he smiles at her kindly. Though he wouldn't put it past Michael to seal them away.

                    "No,I... I mean I'm not allowed to touch them."

                    "Oh, well, I give you permission to do so to bring them to me." Luci walks towards the best spot for quiet study and sure enough there are some notes, an open book and an incomplete spell. He looks it over. It's hard to tell what it's for, but honestly, there are only certain things that could be in the missing places the way it's structured.

                  After a few copies and attempts at filling it out, he looks them over. There are a few shards of mirror underneath and only one possibility would fit with the mirror of that particular makeup. If you look upon the mirror after a night of pure darkness either a new moon or just having it covered by a thick tarp probably you'll be replaced with a mirror image of yourself. It's for humans though. Angels would be far too powerful. Well, maybe an angel could use it once.

                  Luci covers his face briefly. That's what must have happened. Not to him, but to Gabriel. That would explain what the fuck was wrong with that angel lately. did she find a way to switch him with this Helel? She'd have his essence switched at least, but maybe that's what's wrong. He's not even close to the same as this Helel. Maybe he's close enough of a match to fit but not enough to fit comfortably. Hopefully, he won't fall apart.

                  Does that mean his Gabriel is here though? And possibly imprisoned or seriously in trouble with Michael. No. The odds of changing him with the counterpart form the right thread of existence is impossible. And his Gabriel would never get caught. She ran and hid from everyone for centuries, and she's not stupid. She'd know what's going on. Sam will figure it out and go after her and bring her back and since he got switched with a version of himself that never fell, his siblings will get the brother they deserve. There's no reason to upset things. No reason to go back to being hated. There isn't.

                   "Thank you." He accepts the books from the librarian who's lovely wings fluff with pleasure at the acknowledgement. But as he tries to read, the prayers millions upon millions of prayers a second start to intrude on his thoughts. He fell before people existed to pray to angels, much less to him. It takes him a while to learn how to block it out.

                    "Helel." At least he thought he was blocking it all out. Wait, is that Sam? "Helel, I'm sorry. I've been pushing you away. I was just trying to protect you, and I was afraid of loosing you, of being the reason you were lost. It was selfish, I know, and stupid and you were hurt regardless. I'm sorry. Please come down, something is very wrong and we need you. I need you."

                  Luci just sits there. That's an unexpected turn of events, though it shouldn't be. This Helel was a force of good probably accepted by his vessel immediately and without hesitation. It kind of makes him hate the man even more somehow. He'd rather just take another one and tell him to go fuck himself. He could probably even use Nick again. If he wanted to. What a wonderful vessel he was. Honestly any vessel is his for the taking. Fuck Sam Winchester. Let him stew in rejection. He's obviously not his brother in law in this place so there's no need to pretend to give a shit about that man. Luci doesn't need him.

 

                   Mule sits on the couch as his mother gently interrogates the young woman. As with most electronics Michael handles this is broken but somehow not fried, and the SD chip inside is fine. It almost looks as it she managed to figure out how to ward it specifically against the emp damage and upset or angry Michael causes. Her or Raphael.

                  "Here." Dean hands him the old disposable phone he never renewed service for. "Any word from your boy?" Since he's too annoyed at the fact there's no response from Helel to deal with his brother politely, he doesn't respond at all. "No, huh? Look I'm... I'm sure he's alright. He's an archangel, right? Nothing can kill them, but Michael's sword." Obviously he was given an incomplete list of what can and cannot kill them. All archangel blades can an archangel, not just Michaels.

                 "Right, I forgot you're an expert on archangels. You know them better than they know themselves apparently." Mule inserts the chip, "Or each other."

                 "If you're referring to my theory about the nightingale, you don't get it. Mike.. he hates her. She had him trapped in a cage for two thousand years. Alone. The dude's got serious issues, is what I'm saying. When it comes to her, he's kind of got as big a blind spot as his brother, just not as flattering a one either."

                 "Helel does not have a blind spot. He sees her for what she is, good and bad." Mule opens the back of it.

                 "Sammy," Mule hates that nickname as much as he hates that fucking condescending big brother knows best tone. "Thinking there's any good in the devil can only be from a fucking blind spot the side of jupiter."  
                 "Oh, good, it's compatible." Sam ignores him, not wanting to bring up the relationship he had with her all those years ago and knowing that it would be brought up as it always is any time he tries to voice an opinion about the nightingale. He opens the SD card but it's nothing but picture albums and a few saved chats. One album folder is just labeled hats. That can't be anything ominous.

                 He opens that one to see a picture of himself, thin, frail, wearing a beanie that says 'fuck cancer'. It looks like he's in a hospital bed. There's just picture after picture of him in hats and possibly a bald wig? Him and Bree in hats. Him and Claire novak in hats. And Also with Dean and the angel Castiel or his vessel at least and another dark haired girl that he's never seen before. A sherrif that was killed by vampires several years ago is there too. But that makes no sense. It's true there are large gaps in his memory in his mid twenties but he looks older in this and he'd know if he'd ever had an extended hospital stay. He wouldn't have been high enough to loose time in the hospital. And why isn't Mom there. She's always there. Even in Iraq she got to his hospital bed.

                 It evolves into just random hospital pictures. One with him getting what looks like a round of chemotherapy.  One of him playing Mario Kart with Dean, with Dean, Castiel and Bree.  One of Bree throwing a prosthetic leg at the tv screen with a grin on Mule’s face that indicates he just blue shelled her. Mule helping the dark haired girl with a paper. Him sleeping, and playing a game of chess with Castiel. Why is he so chummy with the devil’s enforcer. 

        “What is this?” He looks through the one marked +Baby=3 A sonogram. A picture  of a large pregnant belly. A picture of Bree desperately reaching for an enormous toblerone Mule is holding up out of reach. Bree in a hospital bed with a look of pure loathing aimed at the camera, a large bowl of leafy greens in front of her.  The next one is it being replaced with a fruit salad with cottage cheese. She’s giving an almost laughing scowl shaking a finger at him. A rather disturbing picture of Bree in avenger’s underoos and a feathered cape, on her hands and knees, half of one of her legs missing, with a knife in one hand a human heart in the other and the head of some albino south american held in her teeth by the hair. She’s extremely pregnant in this one. Next is a photo of a birth announcement. Michelle Cadence Singer (Winchester) born to Gabrielle Xena Callisto and Samuel John Singer (Winchester) February 14th… What..

        The next picture is of Mule holding a small newborn with his lips and golden blonde whisps of hair. Another of Bree holding and nursing her, she looks exhausted and sweaty. And Dean with Castiel again, his arms around the angel as he holds the baby himself. The baby with three people he doesn’t recognize but the dark haired man stands like Michael and the young woman kind of smiles like Helel.

         Two of the three are in the family fun night folder, too. With Karaoke pictures, pictures of them dancing. And a couple theme pictures. One Charlie Angel’s style with the man at a desk and Bree, a black woman on opposite sides of the one with Helel’s smile posing with guns. Except the radio is shaped like a mixture church. He has to laugh at that one despite himself.

         “What’s so fun...dad?” Dean puts a hand to the phone unable to help himself. “Why does he have…”

         “Actually, I think that’s Michael.” Mule informs him. “I think you’re right, Dean. I think this isn’t our Devil.”

          “Fuck.” Dean closes his eyes and looks up at the ceiling. “He’s here… Michael’s never going to accept that.”

          “Dean if this is true this means the devil is in some other realm where she’s not the devil. No one is prepared for her. And who knows how that kind of thing is going to affect the mark. We have to get her back.” 

          “Sam, you’re not listening to me. Michael will not believe this. He won’t be able to.” Dean insists.

          “Is he that stubborn and pigheaded and convinced at his own omniscient rightness?” Sam challenges as Dean is constantly defending him.

           “No. He can’t believe it because if it does it means he went to an innocent angel, one calling to him for help out of desperation, who didn’t even try to fight or run and told him she loves him, and he cut off her wings.” Dean grits his teeth as he says this. The phone drops out of Mule’s hands in astonishment. “I would have loved to see him do that to the angel that hurt you, Sammy. Everything she put you through. But it’s not her.”  

             “He what?”

             “He’s only holding on by a thread as it is, Sam.”

             “Mule.” He corrects him.

             “Sam, Samuel, Mule what freakin’ ever, man. The point is Michael is damaged. That time in the cage fucked him up so badly you don’t even know. Do you know what that’s like? Being caged, isolated like that, betrayed by someone close to you, abandoned by your father, for just trying to do the right thing?” Mule clenches his jaw. Does he know? Did Dean forget what happened to him in Iraq? Is he actually asking that fucking question? Is he really?  “Your boy’s doing all he can, but something like this… it could break him. It could…” Dean shakes his head and leans back on the sofa.

               “So what? We just let this other… other Gabriel get tortured and imprisoned and mutilated in this one’s stead? Maybe even killed?” Mule challenges. “You always make excuses for him, Dean. Just so fucking sympathetic, and yet when I needed a little understanding for close to the same damn reason.…”

                “The archangel Michael was a righteous soldier and general of heaven’s army not some debaucherous thieving drug addicted whore of the devil! So don’t you dare try to say it’s the same thing. Because it’s not. Actions have consequences, Sam. Sheilding you from yours wouldn’t have been doing you any damn favors in the long run and you know it.” Dean stands up, too full of righteous rigor to bend even enough to stay seated.

              “If you think that given the option of escaping pain like that, Michael wouldn’t have taken it, then he’s not the kind of being you need to protect from the consequences of his own actions now. Now is he?” Mule scoops the phone up from the floor and heads to the back door.

              “Sam, where are you going?” Mary asks warily as she sees him pass the diningroom entrance.

              “The fucking deck!” He slams the door behind him, cracking the frame. 

                 


	19. Useless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helel tries to orient himself to his surroundings and asses his position

                Helel looks around the apartment. The drawings on the wall are beautiful. Though the one of the nightingale drawn as a madonna figure is outright blasphemous. It's also incredibly beautiful. He's never seen that look on Gabriel's face,though. So maybe it's just someone who resembles her current vessel. Maybe the difference between his Gabriel and this sections Gabriel is this great.

                If this thread of reality is one in which he fell, did he bring Michael down with him? He must have. It's impossible that Michael would be any less devoted o him than Raphael was to Gabriel. Of course Raphael clearly fell in this one as well. A wife and a child. Better they should perish honestly. Nephilim are too dangeroous to be allowed to live.

               It's odd though, he would have expected to be in pain the same way Gabriel is. Maybe since he was the one meant to bear the mark it didn't affect him that way. He looks down to his arm, and doesn't see it there. Maybe it's in a different place. There's a mirror on the closet door, full length, that he looks himself over in. He's tall, clearly not wearing his Mule, but he is evil, isn't he? Though it's amazing to think his vessel could resist him even so. He fell prey to the nightingale's charms so it's impossible to think that he resisted Helel's without major intervention.

              How did Gabriel successfully oppose him though? How was he reduced to this? Obviously Raphael was not on the side of heaven, more sinful and useless than he ever was, so she obviously didn't have his support. And Michael is obviously at Helel's side. There's no possible way that Gabriel could have prevailed against her elder siblings by herself. Obviously with three if not all of his children falling into ruin, their father must have had to stay and take care of things for her.

              A feeling of hope wells up inside him. If his father is here, active in the world, then he'll believe him. He has to, but then why would he have allowed this to happen in the first place? Helel shakes his head. His father has his reasons, as always and he won't start another argument, questioning him and his judgment. Not now. He can't afford to drive him away again.

              "Father." Helel closes his eyes directing his plea to the heavens. "I need your aid. I know I've questioned you int he past but even so I've always tried to do as you wanted. You must know what's happened, what's happening. And whatever impossibly unfathomable reason you have for allowing it, you know I need your help. You must know I deserve it, or at least some sort of acknowledgement here. Look at this. Look at what I've been reduced to, this graceless mortal shell. This is not what you meant for me. So help me. Whatever help you send, I promise I'll take it without question, I swear."

              There's no response to his petition. Of course there isn't. Well, it is what it is. He was abandoned when obedient as he could be, why wouldn't he be abandoned in a world where he's the fallen and rebellious one? There's nothing good to wear. And the clothing in the closet are two completely different sizes. He settles on jeans, a t-shirt and one of the overshirts that while too large and overly long is more appropriate than anything else in the closet. There's a black short shirt with the word Satan on it that is just incredibly offensive and in the poorest taste imaginable, so that just goes right out the window. What asshole would put a shirt like that in there anyway? 

              He'll have to find a library. Would heaven's librarian still be devoted to him here? He should be. Helel is the one who had him placed there where he wouldn't be completely and utterly useless. Unless that's not true, here. Does heaven even have a library in this thread? Of course it would have to. Even if it wasn't made until the first time Michael accidentally set his plans ablaze in an argument with Gabriel. And of course, if the librarian stayed with this Helel when he fell, he wouldn't still be heaven's librarian anymore. He'd probably be dead.

              There's a knock on the apartment door. Helel walks over to it, opening to see his Mule standing there, before him with a young golden haired child in his arms who's clearly not his niece Mary Ellen. He's just as tall and strong as always though much more unkempt with some stubble and hair not even close to regulation length. His Mule gives Helel's hair a breif glance but doesn't say anything.

               "You're long overdue for a haircut." Helel smiles, gently teasing him. He knows it must be bothering him that it's gotten anywhere close to this long. "I saw a pair of scissors in there if you'd like me to give it a try." Helel offers. Samuel Winchester does not look the least appreciative.

               "Lucifer." He greets him curtly, with not a little hostility in his voice. Helel manages not to visibly cringe at the moniker. Once in a fit of frustration he cruelly referred to his little sister as a nightingale, as she's not attractive enough to be a siren and not clever enough to be a mocking bird. Gabriel responded by starting to refer to him as Lucifer, the light bringer. An even more vicious mockery, giving him the title of the role he was meant to take, the defeater of the darkness. A title he lost due to his own fear and hesitation. A reproach and accusation all in one. After explaining it to his Mule, Samuel had never called him that again. It's somehow worse hearing it from his lips. Even if this isn't his Mule, he's still clearly is. "Are you going to help us save Alex and Abigail?"

               "No. I've done what I can do and have no desire to even try farther. I have more important things to do." Helel crosses his arms. The way his Mule is looking at him, the utter lack of affection or good will, the disdain and anger. 

               "Then I have to. Dean and Cas are also working on finding the source of this, so I'm going to ask you to watch your niece. Unless of course you've changed your mind about that as well."

                "You want me to babysit? You want me the devil to babysit." Helel tries to think about this a little more. If he's evil than why is his Mule entrusting his niece to him? The nightingale was likely lying about it, wasn't she? Or at least not telling the whole story.

                "Yes or no, Luci." The man snaps. Helel's tempted to say no purely at the disrespectfulness, but he just holds out his arms to take the sleeping child. "I'll call to check on her periodically. Please do not ignore my calls. If you no longer wish to have her, call me and someone will pick her up." He's downright reluctant in handing the young girl over. "Also remember to keep an eye on her bracelets. Do not let her take them off. I mean it."

                "Understood." Helel takes the child.

                "Honey." his Mule gives the sleepy girl a kiss on the cheek. "Daddy has to do some work so you're going to stay with Aunt Luci okay?" The girl just snubs him and wraps her arms around Helel's neck. The man gives a sigh and rests her hand on her back a moment before turning to go. So this is his child.

                 "So," Helel brings the child in, sitting down on the plush chair in the corner. "You're not Mary Ellen, are you?" He sits the sleepy thing on his lap. She gives him a look of pure exhausted exasperation much like Michael after a long day of training the slower, less apt angelic soldiers.

                 "No nonsense please. Mommy's being too silly already and Daddy's mean and Raphi's with his baby and Miqa is with Raphi and I just want my Helel to love me and give me kisses and candy." The poor thing rubs her eyes, looking as if she wants to cry. He's not sure why but the sight makes his heart melt in his chest.

                 "Okay." Helel kisses her cheek, and lets the child snuggle up to him. She has her father's lips and his knees and ears and the little half moons on his ring fingers and pinkies. Her eyes bother him the most though. They're beautiful bright golden eyes that make him think of Gabriel's but that's not possible.

                 "Daddy's so mean. He killed my doggy and I hate him." She announces after a minute.

                 "Samuel is not mean, sweetie. If he killed your doggy, then he absolutely had to. And I know you know that. I don't think I'm wrong in assuming that he thought  if he hadn't people could have died." Helel tries to soothe her, hoping it's true about this thread's Samuel Winchester.

                 "He said I was dreaming, but I wasn't." She switches complaints obviously not wanting to admit to being wrong, again so much like Michael.   
"I wasn't. It wasn't a dream. It wasn't." this clearly upsets her more than even the harm to her dog. Since the nightingale is here, she's obvious up to her old tricks, but now tormenting his Mule's child instead of him.

                 "I believe you." Helel reassures the upset little thing as she looks up at him with such faith that he will.

                 "So.. so you do remember? You remember mommy taking me from the park when I went to get candy from that man under the bridge? That daddy said was just part of the dream?"

                "No, I don't, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. Tell me what happened in the park and after that Daddy said was just a dream." Helel gently asks.

                "Can I have a cookie? Or a cupcake?" She pouts with that adorable little pout.

                "Sure. Well, I'm not certain what we have. C'mon lets look."

  

                "Raphael?" Bree appears beside him as he sits by the bassinet holding Abigail in his arms.

                "Yes, Gabriel?" He just rocks in the chair listening to the child's breathing and heartbeat.

                "Can we go talk somewhere?" She runs a finger across the back of his neck.

                "No." He brushes her hand away.

                "Why not?" She pouts at him sounding slightly hurt. Raphael just looks up at her incredulous that she could even be asking that question.

                "For once I'm hoping you're not serious." He glares at her. Bree just looks at him innocently, tracing his hairline again "I am not leaving this hospital until Abigail and her mother do. Not unless I need to, to help them recover."

                 "Gabriel, good you're here." Michael walks in. Raphael can't help but notice that his little sister tenses in fear. Not the last because the hand playing with his hair in such a discomforting manner clenches on it as if instinctively. "Whatever marital or personal problems you are having right now, you are going to have to set them aside and focus on helping Abigail and Alex. Luci told us what kind of curse it is. Harahel and Sam are trying to find the exact details of which curse it is as well as ways to undo it. Luci's watching Shelly while they do so."

                "He's.. babysitting? Not helping them figure it out?" Raphael's not sure why he feels so astonished and disappointed. his brother's been doing so well lately there was bound to be some backsliding into selfish jackassery at some point. He should have known that Luci wouldn't really care about Alex or their daughter to even slightly put himself out, or not use it to his advantage to try and weasel more time with Shelly.

                 "I'm sure he will, he's just... in a bit of a mood right now. Gabriel, go with Claire to  Helheim and see if Angrboda is familiar with this curse. I'm going to the abyss to question some of the pagan gods. Cas and Dean will be looking into who and why and working on preventing any further damage from being done. It's possible it was done to hurt you, Raphael, and they may not stop here. I'm going into the abyss to question some of the pagan gods. There's a feast in Valhalla where most of them will be present." Michael reassures his little brother, rubbing his shoulder. But whatever reassurance is offered by the touch, the rage anger darkness resentment and jealousy that come to him from his sister's touch bathers him a great deal.

                 "Yeah, Raph. Mommy Miqa would never forsake her special little guy." Bree says cooly.

                 "Gabriel, reign it in." Michael snaps at her. 'Whatever is wrong unless dealing with it right this second can help the girls, it can wait. She's supposed to be your friend, and this is your niece. Now get your head in the game."

                 "You're right." Bree forces a smile and kisses Raphael's cheek. "No one's more important than you right now, Raphi. I'll do everything I can." For some reason that's not nearly as reassuring as it's meant to be and she vanishes, leaving Raphael even more distressed than he was before.

                 "Michael, I think something is incredibly wrong with Gabriel." He looks to his big sister. Michael tightens his lips.

                 "Is she dying? Cursed?"

                 "I don't think so." Raphael frowns.

                 "Then we will deal with her after the girls are safe."

                 "Michael, she's making me incredibly uncomfortable and quite frankly her behavior makes my skin crawl and I'm not sure why."

                 "I'll talk to her again. It's not like she hasn't gotten like this before, but for now just ignore her. Okay?" Michael tries to comfort him, but this time, it's not even close to enough. 

 

                   "So your Aunt Alex..." Helel prods.

                   "She's not my Auntie." Shelly munches on the cookies. "She's just Uncle Raphael's girlfriend. And mommy's friend and  Auntie Miqa's friend her therpitist too."

                   "Ther... therapist?" Helel guesses.

                   "Uh-huh. Alex is the therpitist for all the angels because she helped Auntie Miqa get better after she got out of the cage and helps a lot of people and 'not-people' people, too."

                   "She helped Michael recover from the cage?" Helel straightens up at this. Ever since her Michael got out, she's been angry, violent, punitive, so reactionary and nothing he can do seems to help. He wants his sister back, but as of yet it's seemed hopeless. He's spent most of his time trying to keep her from finding their sister as he's sure that she'll just snap and kill her, regardless of anything else. If this human woman actually successfully helped Michael, then she's a human worth saving, and learning from.

                    "Uh-huh. So therpity is a good thing and if I'm ever sad and can't get happy again even with cookies I can go get some because a therpatist is like a doctor for your feelings." he wants to correct her pronunciation of therpatist, but it's just so incredibly cute, he can't bring himself to do it.

                    "Do  you know how adorable you are, kid?" Helel bops her nose. Shelly smiles at her a bright big dimpled smile.

                    "Yes, I'm the cutest. Nobody needs a baby when they have me." She proclaims rather derisively of the whole concept.

                    "You're jealous of the baby, huh?"

                    "No. I just don't like her and think she's stupid and useless and wish she just go away and give me my family's back." Shelly scowls.

                    "I know how you feel. It sucks, but you know what. You can outshine that stupid useless thing in a heartbeat and take your family back."

                    "I can?" Shelly looks up.

                    "Yes. You can make everybody love you much easier than a baby can."

                    "I have to be quiet and good and sit still don't I?" Shelly pouts and pick up a crayon.

                    "Sometimes, but you can do anything and everything better than a baby can. And you can do things to help where a baby only causes problems. People really like you if you make their lives better and easier. And helping take care of a baby makes you look so smart and loving and patient. You can do little things when they're paying attention to the baby to make them pay attention to you and in a good way."

                     "I can?"

                     "Yes. When the baby has a dirty diaper you can bring clean ones and wipes. You can take the dirty one to the trash or bring a plastic bag to put it in. when the baby is crying you can help make her stop by..."

                    "Oh, oh I know this one! You pick her up and shake her really really hard!"

                    "No! No, don't ever shake a baby. that hurts babies and makes them die and if you kill babies, people will hate you and think you're bad." Helel quickly corrects her. "It's very very hard to come back from killing babies."

                    "But mommy said..."

                    "Mommy was joking. When the baby cries you sing to it and hug it and kiss it and give it something to suck on like a pacifier or your thumb. Do you have a doll? We can practice."

                    "Noooo." Shelly sighs, then brightens. "Oh, I know. Close your eyes. And no peeking."

                    "Why?" Helel asks as Shelly moves his hands up to cover his eyes anyway.

                    "It's a surprise. Close them." She looks at her uncle as he pretends to oblige and twists her bracelets off of her wrists with a little effort before trying to snap her fingers. She quickly gives up and wiggles her nose instead, bringing up a dirty baby doll. Helel lets his hands fall away, in surprise. Shelly quickly slips her bracelet back on. "Don't tell daddy?"

                     "Okay?" She's a nephilim. His Mule had a child with an angel. And what's worse, an angel that isn't him.


	20. Frayed Threads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bree and Helel both have a melt down unable to cope with the realities in this new strange thread of existence

          “Ahhhh! That bossy controlling bitch! ” Bree growls kicking a hole in the ballroom wall. “I want to kill her. I have to kill her. But I can’t because this Raphi wouldn’t like it and it’s Michael. How can I kill Michael?” She plantively rests her forehead on the wall.

          “Oh you do love your sister don’t you.” Rowena hands her a giant pixie stick.

          “Pfff, no. She’s just too strong that’s all. And I don’t have my… I probably still have my blade here somewhere, don’t I? Or did that get switched along with me? I’ll need Raphi out of the way. Not like ‘hurt him’ out of the way, He’s still my hubby even if he doesn’t know it and how do I get back home and can I bring this and blade? I hate this. Raphael is the one who does the plans and organize things and all that boring stuff.” She disintegrates the wall entirely forming it into spiders. 

           “Why do you have to go anywhere?” Rowena nonchalantly steps up onto a footstool to avoid the arachnids.

            “Because this Raphael sucks. I still hurt and I just want my husband, alright?” 

            “Why not bring him over too?”

            “Yeah., and then have three of them working together all happy and lovey to try and get back here to their significant others? No thanks.” Bree snorts, plopping down on her throne, slouching down to get her feet to reach the footstool instead of bringing it closer.

             “Not if they’re busy with something even more important.” She points out.

             “More important than dealing with the devil stealing their thread of existence?” She rolls her eyes tipping the giant pixie stick into her mouth. Rowena just smiles and raises her eyebrows. “Like what?”

              “Like the darkness.” Rowena walks over and touches Brees arm.  “What would you say if I told you I could free you from this?” She traces the mark with her finger. “The darkness here is always contained in other ways.”

              “You mean, sacrifice my plain of existence and take over this one and be free of pain from now until the end? Even without Raphael?” Bree looks to her arm. 

               “Absolutely.  And all I’ll need from you are a couple inconsequential books from the bunker and a few key ingredients.” Rowena coos. “Poor thing, having to shoulder such a burden for so long. Nobody ever appreciated it either, did they?”

               “Raphael did. Everyone else was mad at me for it, even dad scolded me.” She sighs. “It doesn’t matter, he never really cared about me. He just made me so Helel would have something to do besides torment Raph.” Bree just silent stares at her feet for a moment. “I have to get my husband back anyways. Are you sure you can do it?”

                “Of course. I’ve done it before, after all.  I’m sure we can do it again.”  Rowena waves the question aside.

                “I wasn’t aware there was anything left that you loved. Mother” Crowley comments examining the hole in the wall. 

                “Oh, I’m sure I could find some maternal stirrings somewhere deep in my heart, Fergus.” She places a hand to her chest.

               “Don’t strain yourself.” His dry response makes Bree give a slight smile. “Gabriel…”

               “Bree.” She corrects him.

               “Bree. I thought you wanted a new brother to go home to in your old comfortable world. That you hated this place and didn’t want to stay. Isn’t that what you said?”

               “It is. I do. I guess. I don’t know. I hate this but I hate that place just as much. At least here I’m still allowed in heaven and I’m not being hunted or just hated by absolutely everyone yet. I do want to go home because it’s home though, but I don’t want my brothers to have these vessels, homes or heaven or I don’t know! I just hate everything and nothing is fun anymore. How could he love some human girl more then me? How could he ignore my pain that way? How could he say no? How? Doesn’t he love me even a little bit?” She presses her fists into her eyes. 

                “I want my husband and big brother to love me so much they fight over it and I want my sister to suffer and die hated an unloved by anything and everything! I want her to be a hopeless broken mess so she knows how it feels to do everything wrong all the time, never be given any quarter, and never be enough no matter what she does. I want  Helel to break her heart and leave her behind and turn away from her and just…. AHHH!!!” Bree strangles the air.

                 “Well think it over. We have time.” Rowena pats her shoulder.

                 “Right.” Bree sighs deflating even more. “I have to go make sure this hunter Claire thing doesn’t accidentally find a cure for that little curse I wrapped on Raphi’s toys. I know I promised to leave his next plaything along but there are two of them now and I know if I just killed the baby he’d be mad, so… Alright you guys need anything to keep the place running while I’m gone?”

                  “Not that I can think of.” Rowena considers. “Fergus?”

                  “The copiers need more ink and we’re almost out of paper, but besides that…” He jests. Bree just snaps her fingers and disappears, filling the room with toner and paper when she leaves. 

 

                  “No, like this.” Helel draws his bow across the violin and adjusts the glasses he found. “But lower until it’s a deeper blue.” Shelly scrunches up her little face and draws a line across the ether. “A little lower. That’s it.” He claps his hands. “ Good job, my little song. High five.” the excited little high five dispells the line of energy.

                   “I’m hungry, Helel. I wanna pizza and Elsa.” the girl gives a yawn.

                   “Okay, but when you’re rested we’re going to try a real little knot of a curse.”

                   “Okay! Curse my doll!”

                   “You got it.” Helel smiles at her and takes the cold pizza out of the fridge. But before he can even put some in the microwave, he looks back to see the girl asleep on the chair, her little mouth open.

                      He just stands there looking at her. In truth he should eliminate this abomination. They’re too dangerous. Especially with the nightingale in this world. She would take them and raise them into total nightmares. What’s worse they won’t know to protect this little moonbeam from her. She’s probably Auntie Bree all fun and chaotic and loved as much as the fledglings loved her before her games started getting mean. He’d almost think that it was the nightingale that told the child to shake babies to stop them from crying but that would imply she was this darling’s mother. If that were true, that’s even more frightening. If only he had his grace he could see if she was more powerful than regular nephilim. Really destroying her is the safe thing to do.

                      But still, this child is his Mule’s or some version of him anyway. And given the timing of her arrival to the apartment she could be the answer to his plea to his father for help. She seems to adore her uncle Helel and trusts him implicity. He can use that, if nothing else.  He has to be careful. Right now he’s more helpless than he’s ever been before and Bree is still just as powerful. If he doesn’t play her game well enough to satisfy her it probably won’t end well for him, despite her claim of loving him. What she loved was that bright shining reflection of other’s glory not whatever’s been shoved into this frail little human form. She wouldn’t have decided to replace him if that was the case. She’ll realize that soon enough.

                     “Hello?” There’s a knock on the door. That timid little tone sounds almost like Harahel, but Harahel never leaves the library. Nathaniel does the collecting for him. He most certainly would never be assigned a vessel after loosing his sword the first day he was created.

                     “Shhh. the little one’s sleeping.” Helel opens the door to see a young woman with brown curls and a very pretty pastel ball gown and jellied flats holding a pile of books and papers in her arms.

                      “Oh. May I come in please?” She asks timidly. That’s definitely Harahel.

                      “Of course.” Helel steps back to let him in.

                       “I know you told Sam that you weren’t going to help but I know you actually like Alex and maybe just weren’t feeling well or are exhausted or something so I brought you coffee and donuts like she usually does and copies of my research so far.” She takes a bag from the hand under the pile and hands it to him, almost dropping everything else to do so.

                      “You always were one of the sweetest angels.” Helel pats her head out of pure habit. A side affect of being a terrible excuse for an angel, he was pretty and just made himself generally pleasant to be around. It’s hard to feel like a failure next to Harahel. “Can I ask you a question?” 

                     “I… guess?”Harahel looks confused and wary.

                     “I’m the devil right, the source of all evil in existence?”

                     “Well, yes, you were, kind of, but it’s different now, kind of.”

                     “Has Michael fallen like this because of me?” He’s not sure what he wants the answer to be. Oddly enough Harahel gives the question alot of thought.

                     “I don’t know. I don’t really know what counts as fallen. He hasn’t been cast out or anything. Though almost everyone left has been, you know because of Metatron. So it’s not… it’s all so complicated. We’re all just doing our best to love and protect humanity and ourselves and each other. Michael is still a good angel and always has been. He never disobeyed your father, but now there are no more orders and we may not have even understood the ones we were given right. She loves you so much and is trying to help you be the angel you were meant to be. The one we know you can be.”

                      “But I took the mark didn’t I? I what i was supposed to do, so didn’t I become who I was meant to be already?”

                      “Gabriel didn’t think so. She thought you could be helped and healed and made the wonderful brother you once were and Michael agreed with her. Raphael didn’t think so, but in the end he was the one who helped you the most. They loved you and wanted you back.”

                       “Even like this?” Helel looks at his hands, his frail dying aging empty human hands. “Stripped of everything that made me worth loving. Are you sure they’re not just punishing me?” Not that he expects the little thing to answer. 

                        “No of course not. They resurrected you to do this. Risking everything they had and were including humanity if they failed. Are you feeling okay? You don’t look very well. Are you sick?  I might be able to help a little bit if you’re sick or injured.

                        “No. I don’t think so.” Helel sits down at the table. “I just… feel human, that’s all.”

                        “And… and they didn’t, you know.” Harahel blurts out looking nervous, as he should given he’s telling Helel that he’s wrong. In the sweetest possible way of course, but still how did he ever get the nerve? “They didn’t take everything worth loving away from you. I can’t really speak for anyone else, but I didn’t just love you because you’re bright and pretty and powerful and strong. You’re so smart and always were.Nobody took that away from you. And talented. Nobody plays a violin like you, nobody could play stringed instruments like you, nobody. You always knew the core melody to everybody’s song. I always admired you for all of those things and wished I could be more like you, though I never can be. 

                      “But, I loved you because when I was scared and stupid and lost my sword and knew that I was just defective and wrong and could never be the angel I was supposed to be, you looked at me and saw something in me, in my song and you made the library and gave it to me.  You saw value in me where nobody else did. And what’s more you stood up for me to the angel you loved the most out of all of us to prove it. Nobody can take that away. I...I know I didn’t join you when you fell and you wanted me to and Nathaniel wanted me to and I was so flattered. And I’m sorry. But you were wrong and I couldn’t. It didn’t mean I wasn’t grateful and it didn’t mean I didn’t love you and it didn’t mean it didn’t break my heart when Michael cast you out of heaven. It broke everybody’s heart. Especially our fathers.” He looks down at his hands, not able to meet Helel’s eyes. Which is good as Helel feels as if he’s going to die.

                       “Excuse me.” Helel gets back to his feet and flees to the bathroom, locking the door behind him as he sinks to the cold tile floor.

                    Michael… cast him out? She cast him out of heaven? She… How… No, that can’t be right. Mitcha loves him. She’s his big sister, his protector, his teacher, his dearest friend. How could she? How could she love him less than Raphael loved Gabriel? How? Is it him?  She’s so angry all the time now, so violent, so… reactionary. Yes it was being in the cage but being back with, getting taken care of by her loving brother should have made things better right? Maybe it would have been if he was good enough. If it hadn’t been his fault that Michael was pushed in, in the first place. Raphael was supposed to take her place, not push Michael in. If he even thought for a second that useless little brat would ever do something like that he never would have arranged for his escape. 

                       “Brother?”  Harahel knocks on the bathroom door. “Are you alright? Should I get somebody?” He wants to say no but he knows his voice will betray him if he tries to say anything so he doesn’t. What’s the point. His sister abandoned him, his Mule hates him. He’s nothing to anyone but something to be pitied at best. Stripped of everything that made him worth anything. 

                        “Luci.” Michael appears, kneeling down before him, because obviously he fucked up the ward with his clumsy human hands.

                       “Don’t call me that.” Helel whispers, his voice shaking just as much as he knew it would.

                        “It’s okay.” Michael lifts his chin and takes some tissue paper to wipe away his tears and the other ridiculous fluids the human body excretes. “It’s okay. I’m here.” This is the Michael he remembers, caring, gentle, nurturing, not the angry thing from the cage. And it’s because of some human girl. Sometimes he hates humanity. Not often but sometimes. Why did their father have to make them so… everything? “Helel, I‘m here, everythings going to be okay.” Michael embraces him, gently stroking his hair until he calms down, feeling safe again, feeling almost like he’s enough. When was the last time Michael just held him and told him things were going to be okay? Or brushed her cheek affectionately against his brothers, or kissed his forehead or...or What in the name of all that is, is she doing?!

                      “Michael!” Helel pushes himself away, half slamming his head into the bathroom wall in the process, “Have you lost your mind?”

                       “What?” Michael looks confused as if kissing her brother in a completely inappropriate manner was not out of the ordinary in the least.  “Helel, obviously I wasn’t going to really do anything with Michele asleep in the other room.” Michele? Shelly is short for Michele? Sam named his daughter after Michael? 

                       “Get out, get out of here, Don’t.. how could you…” Helel’s mind races trying to think of a suitable explanation for this.  She cast him out of heaven and now she’s, what trying to make up for that by defiling them both in the most blasphemous absurd… “Do you think this fixes anything? You,me what passed between us, some… perverse physical… Don’t touch me! Get away from me!” He pushes Michael’s hand away as she tries to touch his arm. 

                       “Luci, what… Where is this coming from?” She looks so bewildered. “If there’s something we need to work on, then we’ll work on it. But you have to talk to me about it. You can’t just hold everything in until you break. I love you, you can talk to me about anything. I promise.”

                        “I… I’m not Lucifer. I’m not Luci I’m Helel ben Sahar and you are my sister.” Helel folds his arms uncomfortably across his chest. Talk to her about anything. He wants to, so badly, but a michael who would cast him from heaven, who could do such a strange perverse thing as initiate physical intimacy as she clearly was, who knows what she would think, what she would do? Oh father, are those her clothes in that closet? Are they living together? Why would she even need clothing? “I can’t. I’m sorry. Just please leave me alone. And for the love of that is holy and right in the world, don’t ever touch me like that again.” 

                        “I don’t understand. Are you… dissolving our engagement?” Michael looks so hurt and confused. Oh father they’re engaged? As in engaged to be married? “Why?”

                        “You’re my sister, Micheal! Why is that even a question? Please, please just leave, I can’t take this right now. I have to research curses with Harahel while Shelly’s napping.”

                         “Fine. Do that, at least something you’re saying is making sense.” Michael sounds irritated, but it’s so hard to tell exactly how irritated if he can’t see her flames. “It’s late so I’ll just tuck her in and leave. If that’s what you want I’ll stay away until you call me back. I’ll stay with Jeff.” With that parting shot Michael disappears. Who the fuck is Jeff? There’s no angel named Jeff. Or nicknamed Jeff, is there? And why does he have to stay anywhere? It’s fine, it doesn’t matter, he’ll just find away to save this Alex at least and maybe find a way to help his Michael and if he can get Harahel to trust him even a little, maybe he can find a way to get back to his own thread.

                          “I know…” As Helel leaves the bathroom he hears Harahel talking to someone, and in english not enochian. “No, but… I won’t. I promise… Well I have you to remind me, don’t I?” That look of complete trust and adoration on the librarians face makes Helel jealous.

                          “Who are you talking to?” He asks, hoping at the very least it’s to some angel even slightly worth the devotion his Harahel gave to him.

                          “My vessel, Krissy.” He blushes, “I don’t mean to be rude. She’s just very protective of me.”

                           “Good, she should be.” Helel forces a small smile and pats the angel’s head. Harahel looks slightly confused. “Do you get along well?” 

                            “Usually, sometimes she frustrated me and I frustrate her but we love each other so it all works out okay.” Harahel ducks his head toying with his hands as he says it with a little pleased smile.

                             “Love or in love?” Helel gives the angel a smile that says he damn well knows which one it is so he might as well admit it. Harahel just shrugs his shoulders a little. “And it’s enough for you? Sharing a vessel like that? It’s enough for her?”

                               “Well, yes. I don’t really want to… okay, okay.” Harahel blushes again. “She doesn’t want me talking about that with you. If I do she’ll interrupt and tell you all sorts of horrible disgusting lies about things. Well, you didn’t say not to tell him that!” He looks embarrased. It’s kind of cute actually.

                                “So, the pastels, is that her or you?” Helel teases nodding to the dress.

                                “Me. She was courting me to be my vessel she said I could dress up her body however I wanted and do her hair and wear make up and everything. So, when we’re not hunting I kind of like to do that…. But there’s nothing at all dirty about any of that! And we’re not even…Okay.” Harahel blushes again and gives a sigh. “I\m sorry she doesn’t want me discussing our relationship with you at all because she’s a hunter and you’re, um…” A hunter? Courted Harahel? Heaven’s librarian is the least qualified angel to assist a hunter in any way! How did that even…

                               “Okay.” Helel picks up the coffee which is now cooled off enough to be drinkable, and downs it. Shelly is placed gently in bed as Michael said she would be.  “We should get to work.”

                               “Okay.” the angel gives a sigh of relief. “So, I found alot of different curses that fit with the one Michael drew, though obviously they don’t have a sketch like he does because humans can’t see it the same way. But they do similar things and have the requirement of a choice of some sort…” Harahel moves to the table and spreads out the copies of curses. “The books have other details about the different disciplines they’re from.”

                              “I didn’t realize how many curses there were.”

                              “Well, some of them are so old that I don’t think anyone would know about them, but I want to be on the safe side. And at least they could give clues for possibilities.”

                              “Alright, let’s start with those.” Helel reaches for the older looking ones. Given that this happened to Raphael’s wife and child he can only assume it’s the work of the nightingale. Thus it must be not only an old curse but one he’s heard of at least in that it was created by someone who existed in his thread as well. That’s the best place to start at least. This is something he can do. He can just focus on this right now and not think about any of the horrible terrible things that exist in this thread.


	21. Broken and Betrayed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mirror Michael confronts Luci and Gabriel

              Gabriel just lays on the cell floor, curled into a ball. What was she thinking? Calling to Michael for help? Michael was willing to fight Luci to the death, destroying half the earth. Why would she do any less to a sibling she had never really cared for? But still, Gabriel had hope and faith in the good wise nurturing eldest sibling who admitted to missing her when she was gone, no matter how much chaos she caused when she was there. 

              The silence gave her hope. The hesitation when she raised her blade. Even the firm but loose grip on her threat, right up until the blade came down, she knew in her heart of the hearts that Momma Miqa would never really hurt her. Not if she didn’t fight. Miqa was always able to hold his temper with Luci until he pushed her or shoved her or hit her, made it physical. She thought if she didn’t fight, push it from words to violence, then Miqa would have a chance to calm down. Miqa would never really hurt her. No matter how mad she was. Not if Gabriel didn’t make her.

              The tears are starting to collect on the floor. She manages not to sob outright because the heat of Michael’s blade sort of cauterized it, keeping her grace from leaking out like it did with Harahel when she got her wings cut off, but it still hurts like hell. What does it matter? There’s no hope. None. No one will ever see her as anything but the nightingale and now she’s trapped here in heaven for all of eternity or at least until Michael discovers she doesn’t bear the mark that’s keeping the darkness sealed away. Then she’ll die. And she’ll die in a world with no hope of resurrection. Maybe not right away though. They’ll probably try to persuade her to tell them what she did with it, first. 

               There is no hope.

 

               “Where have you been?” Luci looks up as Michael angrily stands before him, a bristling barely contained fire of rage. She’s forgotten that was how she used to show fear and worry and almost every emotion towards the end.

               “Here. Studying.” He lies.

               “You most certainly were not. This is the first place I looked.”

               “You searched the entire library?” Luci looks up. 

               “I called for you.” So that’s a no.

               “I know. I was ignoring you.” The look of astonishment on Michael’s face is almost funny. “I didn’t realize I served at your beck and call. Now go take a flight and cool off before you burn the library down.” He looks back down to the notes.

               “Do not trifle with me right now, brother.” Michael slams her hands on the table. “Return to your room and rest. I can’t…” She half chokes on her words and bows her head to hide her eyes. “I can’t lose you too.”

               “Mitcha, here.” Luci snaps up a stool and a pad and pencils. “Sit down with me for a bit, draw something, take a minute to breathe.” Though with his Mitcha he’d just put his arms around her, and hold her and tell her he loves her and kiss her and make love to her until she’s calm and relaxed enough to talk about things. Of course that’s out of the question right now for several reasons.

               “Draw something?” Michael just looks at him as if he suggested tapdancing in a burlesque review. “I have things I need to do and I can’t afford to be worrying that you’ve gone off somewhere, injured dad only knows how, and gotten yourself killed somehow. I’m having Ariel come and stay beside you. Whatever you do, she is not to leave your side. That’s an order, Helel.” His sister straightens up and steels herself.

                “I heard you captured the nightingale.” Luci looks at her. Michael doesn’t say anything. She just looks at him daring him to say something.

                 “You should be relieved.” Michael breaks the silence first. “Your vessel is no longer in danger from her, nor is mine or their family. Humanity itself will never fall prey to her twisted amusements again. She’ll never take anything precious from us again.”

                 “Michael, please try and remember. She’s still our sister. The sister who once loved us and gave herself to the darkness for us.”

                  “You.” Michael says cooly. “She loves you. She sacrificed herself for you. Not me. I mean as much to her as she does to me, nothing.” Luci doesn’t know what to say to this. How much is the same? What could he remind her of that would make her remember she loves her baby sister. Or in this world does she hate Gabriel as much as Luci hated Raphael?

                    “We were supposed to be the ones to protect her, Michael. We were supposed to take care of her and keep her from harm. We failed. WE did. What she did was selfless and noble and loving and that part of her is still in there, buried under Days of hurt and pain and darkness, but it’s there and what we need to do is help her find it. We need to love her as we were told to do.”

                     “Helel, I never took you for a fool before this moment.” Michael replies and walks out. Did she just calls him stupid? That flaming bitch! His Mitcha was never this heartless. Never. He wants to get up and fly after her and fucking sucker punch her, but that… If he acts against Michael in this, rebels against heaven again, get cast out again. This isn’t his Gabriel. He doesn’t actually know anything, despite what he said. Besides it’s Michael. Sure she can be an asshole at times, but she’d never do anything cruel. Not really. Would she? His Michael wouldn’t, but this isn’t his Michael.

  
  


                      “Has she said anything? Done anything?” Michael asks as she returns to the cells. She only left briefly when informed Helel was in the library. But it’s possible it was long enough. Still, what choice did she have?

                      “No. I haven’t heard anything.” Nathan shakes his head. “We followed orders and did not investigate.”

                      “Good.” She enters the corridor. it is quiet. No sound no movement anything. She expected to at least hear Gabriel passing or something. If she remembers right, this particular angel was all but incapable of staying still. There’s not even any sound as Michael nears the cell except for her own footsteps and the clink of her armor. The nightingale is still there.

                       “Get up.” Michael orders the angel who doesn’t even acknowledge his presence. She doesn’t move or respond. “I cut off your wings not your legs. Get up.” It’s them Michael notices the wharped metal and plastic construct that exists where the vessel’s lower right leg should be. Why wouldn’t she just have Raphael fix it? Of course trying to understand anything about the nightingale has always been beyond her. 

                      Well, without her wings, it obviously won’t be possible for her to stand on that. Michael takes hold of her arm and pulls her upright. The angel trembles at the movement, as if it pains her, well, it should. She should hurt, and she will.  Still she doesn’t make a sound though.

                      “I have some questions for you.” Michael seats the angel on the bench against against the wall, still with a tight hold on her arm. “If you don’t reply with answers that satisfy me, then I will have to persuade you to.” Still no answer. She just sits there, silent with empty eyes brimming with tears. As if she’s the victim here. As if it weren’t her own actions, deceits, betrayal, sins and corruptions responsible for any of this. Does she think she knows what suffering is? “Do you understand where you are right now?” Michael demands. “You have killed angel and human alike. Stolen and corrupted those most precious to us. Do you think for a second that I will not hesitate to make you pay for each and every crime you have committed and more should you continue to play with me? Do you? ANSWER ME!”

                        “No.” The angel finally answers. “I don’t think that. Not anymore.”

                        “You’re a fool if you ever did.”

                        “I guess I was.” Her voice trembles, she starting to cry again. Unbelievable. The sight just enrages Michael beyond anything she could have done.

                        “Now, you have one chance to escape the full extent of the pain you know you deserve. Just one. Tell me what you did to Helel. Whatever it was, whatever your intention, he’s hurt and in pain, and if anything, anything happens to him, I will destroy you instantly and without mercy. I don’t care what happens afterwards. Do you hear me?” Gabriel nods that hopeless look still on her face, tears still in her eyes, as if she has any right to feel hurt or betrayed at all. “WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?” Michael slams her back against the wall. 

                        “Nothing!”

                        “You honestly expect me to believe that?”

                        “No. You’re not going to believe anything I say. So just kill me and get it over with. I will never be able to say what you want to hear unless you tell me what it is! So just do it!” She wants to, too. She wants to just rip her apart note by note and scatter her grace to the four corners of the earth. She deserves it. Everyone knows she does. Everything she’s done. Everything she would do. No, no, she needs to know what’s wrong with Helel.

                        “You’re not getting off that easy.” Both of them are surprised when Michael is grabbed from behind by arms of pure ice and thrown backwards out into the hall. Fortunately the action also startled her into letting go of her sister so the angel doesn’t go flying out of the cell with him. When Gabriel looks up, she sees a terrifying sight. Helel ben Sahar in all his glory enraged and frozen, his feathers expanded into sharp blades of ice. The furious brightness of Michael’s flames are captured, broken and magnified in Helel’s being into shimmering violet rainbows. 

                         “What do you think you’re doing?” He demands his voice terrifyingly calm in that way that Sam has in his most dangerous moments.  Michael just stares at him, so shocked by the action, she doesn’t even get to her feet. Did they never fight in this thread? “Did you cut off her WINGS?!” Gabriel feels almost frightened, her brother wasn’t even frozen this stiff when he killed her.

                          “I did what I had to do.” Michael slowly gets to her feet. “I will over look this because I know you’re not well… You’re not yourself, so...” 

                          “Oh fuck that! And fuck you, you condescending asshole!”

                          “Excuse me?”

                          “I will not let you lay a hand on her again.” Luci pulls the cell door shut and takes out his blade, changing it into his signature spear. The stunned look on Michael’s face is almost heartbreaking. “How could you? How could you do something so… needlessly violently cruel.”

                         “It’s okay.” They hear Gabriel say quietly behind Helel. “It’s not too late. You don’t have to fall. Don’t ruin your life because of me. You can’t win.”

                         “Well, it wouldn’t be the first time I waged an unwinnable war. At least this time I’m actually doing the right thing.” Luci sighs. Michael looks confused.

                         “What are you talking about?” Michael gets to her feet.

                         “Luci?”

                         “I was really hoping it wasn’t you. Not that I would have really just let this happen to any of you but still…” Luci sighs and reaches back to pat her head. “But just to be sure, what’s the name of my favorite song?”

                         “Michele Cadence Singer.” Gabriel grabs onto his waist, ducking under his wing, which he moves to protectively encircle her.  “How….”

                         “Not the time, Paseh.  And I…  don’t know exactly.”

                         “Please tell me she hasn’t hurt anybody.”

                         “No, just a pedophile after Shelly. Filled his orifices with Jolly Ranchers until he exploded, kind of. She’s just playing right now I think. And shush.”

                         “I can’t, or I’ll really start crying.”

                         “It’s okay, Gabriel, she won’t hurt you again. I promise.” He puts his arm around her, holding her close, the coolness numbing the pain. “I will stay right here until we figure something out.”

                          “Why are you doing this?” Michael walks up to the bars.

                          “Because what you’ve done is wrong what you’re about to do is worse. I know you don’t understand and I’m sorry. But if you want to hurt her again you’ll have to go through me.”

                           Michael just stands in front of the bars, her flames a distressed white. After a moment, she places her hand on the lock and melts it into a solid piece before walking away, without a word.


	22. OOC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helel has fun with Shelly (some fluff to make up for the last few chapters)   
> Sam gets suspicious.  
> The nightingale screws around and finally tips her hand.

                 “Alright now you do it.” Helel takes the diaper off the doll and hands the doll and a new diaper both to Shelly. Shelly screws up her face and looks down. “Open the diaper.” He demonstrates. Shelly follows suit. “Lift the baby’s legs. Gently. Both at once, and put the diaper under. That’s right. Now put the top half against its waist and put the velcro, then the other velcro, tight but not too tight. Don’t squish the baby.”

                 “Okay, like this?”

                 “Looks like. Let’s test it.” Helel picksup the door by the arms. the diaper does not fall off. “You did it! Good job!”

                  “I did it! Yay!”Shelly raises her arms. 

                  “Yay! Here’s your cookie.” Helel hands her the oreo.

                  “Just one?” Shelly scowls, taking it.

                  “Well, it’s not like you changed a poopy diaper.” Helel challenges.

                  “Ewww!”

                  “Yeah, ew. Babies are kind of gross sometimes. What do you want to learn to do next?” He leans back a little. His head is starting to ache a little. Maybe he needs some more rest.

                   “I wanna learn how to swim!”

                   “Swim? What does that have to do with babies?” Helel laughs.

                   “Nothing! That’s what I want to learn though.”

                   “Alright. Hold on, let me check with daddy.” Helel takes out the phone and texts Sam. “We’ll need a swim suit anyways.”

                   “Why do you keep asking daddy things?” Shelly gives him a quizzical look. “You never talk to daddy.”

                   “Because he’s your father and I don’t know what rules he has for you about things. Since I want to respect his wishes I’m asking. You are his daughter.” Helel responds. 

                   “Are you feeling okay?” Shelly climbs up onto his lap and puts her hand on his forehead. “Are you hungry? Can you eat?” 

                   “I’m feeling fine and no, I’m not hungry.”

                   “You didn’t eat breakfast. And you didn’t eat lunch. People need to eat food, remember? Here, eat my cookie.” She holds it out. “It’s sweet and yummy.”

                   “No. Thank you.”

                   “You need food. What about soup? Do you want soup? If your tummy hurts soup is good.” Shelly hops down and climbs up on the counter. “What about chicken noodle?  Oh tomato soup! And goldfish we can put the goldfish in the soup and catch them and eat them.” She pulls them out.

                   “Are you hungry?”

                   “Yes. I am hungry and we are going to have tomato soup and goldfish because it’s cold and soup is good when it’s cold.” Shelly jumps down and goes to the fridge.  “Heyyyy, who drank my chocolate milk?” She pouts at the fridge.

                    “I did yesterday. I’m sorry, but it went bad.”

                    “Oh no! Uncle Helel that was MILK milk That’s why your tummy hurts. Did you forget you’re lactose intolerant?” Shelly sighs shaking her little head. She can’t say therapist but lactose intolerant is just fine.” Kids. Though that explains the afternoon. “I’ll make the soup. You go lie down and hold my dolly.” She puts the doll in Helel’s arms.

                     “Can you make soup? I don’t think you’re old enough to use the stove.” Helel asks cautiously. You don’t let a three year old cook generally, but she is a nephilim and very precocious.

                     “Yes. I can make soup.” the child nods, sounding as if she’s just made up her mind that she can which isn’t very reassuring. “But I will nuke it so you don’t have to worry.” Shelly pulls the tab off the can and dumps it into a large mixing bowl she then shoves it into the microwave. “Lie down. I will be your doctor.” Shelly pulls her uncle to the bedroom by the hand and pats the bed. Hold on, I’ll be right back.” Shelly runs out of the room and into another room and Helel sits on the bed and waits. A minute later a small wolf like dog runs into the bedroom followed by Shelly wearing a large white button up dress shirt with the sleeves pushed up, a belt with a round silver buckle and actual stethoscope around her neck a bunch of band aids, popsicle sticks and a thermometer are in the large pocket. “I’m Dr. Singer and this is my nurse. Nurse Courage give the patient lots of warm snuggles.” Shelly points to Helel. The dog reluctantly walks over and starts to sniff him before curling up on his lap.

                      “Where did you get this dog?”

                      “This is courage. He’s Uncle Raphi and Alex’s dog. Did you forget that too? Here, let me give you bandaids. “Shelly walks over and starts putting bandaids on Helel’s forehead. “Put this under your tongue.” She sticks the thermometer in Helel’s mouth, just in time for the microwave to beep. “Hold on. Keep it in and don’t talk. Nurse. Keep on with the snuggles.” Shelly runs out of the bedroom tripping on the shirt a little on the way. She’s even cuter than Mary Ellen and Bobby John combined, the little darling. With those little hands and arms just absolutely lost in those sleeves, he just wants to melt. He never got to see his mule as a small child, not in person. Maybe this is what he was like.

                      “I got it!” Luci hears as the phone charging on the table rings. “Hi, daddy! No,that’s okay. He’s sick. I’m...ooops!” There’s the sound of something plunking in dense liquid. Helel takes the thermometer up and moves the dog aside, just in time to see his cellphone disappear into the mixing bowl of tomato soup.

                      The expression on Shelly’s face, a grimace that turns into a sort of sheepish smile as she look up at Helel, just shocks him to the core. 

                      “I’m sorry.” She wrinkles her nose. Even the little scrunched shoulders are the same. If she had wings, they’d be frazzled. The golden eyes, golden curls, she’s the spitting image of fledgling nightingale. He looks back up to the drawing of the wall. Gabriel holding a baby. No. No, no, no...       

                       “It’s alright.” Helel sits down heavily on the floor. “Come here.’ He holds out his arms. Shelly runs over and plops it in his lap. “I need to tell you something my little song. It’s very important.”

                       “Yes?”

                       “Your  mother… Don’t listen to your  mother. Only listen to your father. Your mother… is not herself right now. And if your mommy tells you to do something, always ask your daddy if it’s okay, first.” Helel holds onto her very tightly.

                       “Mommy’s just being extra silly that’s all.” Shelly pats Helel’s shoulder.

                       “No, sweetie, she…”

                       “Is everything alright?” Helel looks up to see Sam and Harahel appear in the middle of the apartment.

                       “I dropped the phone in the soup.” Shelly cheerfully explains. “It was an accident.”

                       “You said your uncle was sick.”

                       “He won’t eat and his nose is dry but it’s okay daddy. I’m a doctor. I can take care of him.” She points to her stethoscope.

                       “My what?” Helel looks down at her.

                       “Shelly, honey, that’s dogs, not people.” Sam’s mouth twitches slightly.

                        “Ohhhhh.” Shelly exclaims. “Okay, oh, daddy, daddy lemmie show you what I know how to do.” Shelly gets up and runs into the bedroom.

                       “Worried about me?” Helel can’t help but ask. Sam’s face remains impassive.

                       “I was worried, let’s leave it at that.” He looks into the bedroom. “Michele why is Courage in here?”

                        “So Helel could have warm snuggles. I couldn’t do it because I’m working. Courage, go clean up the soup.” she shoos the dog into the kitchen. He quickly obliges. 

                        “Did Uncle Raphael say you could play with courage or go into his apartment and take his shirt and belt and stethoscope?” Sam asks her sternly.

                        “Ye-es.” She says slowly. Sam crosses his arms. “Not today, but he did before sometimes.”

                        “Michele….”

                        “It was an emergency!” Shelly protests.

                        “If there’s an emergency with your uncle you call your other uncles or mommy or me. You don’t break into someone else’s apartment and steal their things.” He says sternly.

                        “I wasn’t going to keep them!” Shelly doesn’t quite whine but just barely.

                        “Michele, enough!” Sam snaps, loudly.

                        “Why are you mad at me?” Shelly looks like she’s going to cry. Sam just covers his face and takes a deep slow breath.

                        “Shelly, honey, your daddy’s worried and tired and very stressed out. You know you shouldn’t lie to him or try to trick him with words. It’s not nice. Especially when he’s already upset.” Helel leans over to rub her back a little. “Now go say you’re sorry and won’t do it again, okay?”      

                       “I’m sorry daddy.” Shelly runs over to hug her father’s legs. He picks her up and hugs her.    

                       “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” He kisses her cheek.

                       “Are you alright?” Helel can’t help but ask the hunter, and slowly gets up. Sam gives him an odd look. “I’m sorry. I should have been paying better attention to her.” Not that he knew that Raphael had an apartment across the hall. But it make sense if he’s dating Michael’s therapist (or should he say therpatist) for them both to be nearby.

                       “Are you okay?” 

                       “I’m fine.”

                       “No, you aren’t. You’re starving and dehydrated.” Harahel speaks up, apparently deciding to abandon her previous sit quietly and try not to get involved stance. “I don’t think you’re sick, though. I can help if you want, but Raphael said not to because you have to learn to eat right but..” Harahel quits down, shrinking under Helel’s gaze.

                      “See, I said he wasn’t eating. He won’t eat anything. not even cookies!” Shelly of course has to add her two cents.

                      “Why don’t you go relax and have some fun with your daughter. Harahel and I will take care of the curse. But you’re not going to be good for anyone in the condition you’re in.” Helel says gently getting ot his feet. Though the movement actually makes him a little dizzy. “A little sleep, and a few snuggles from Dr. Shelly and everything will feel alot better in the morning.” He can’t help but smile at the man with his daughter held tightly in his arms, with her little oversized doctor’s coat\ dress shirt. Sam and Harahel just stare at him a moment.

                      “Harahel, can you take Shelly to Michael for me? I need to talk to him.” He just looks at Helel.

                      “O-okay.” The angel reluctantly takes the girl and disappears.

                      “Alright,” Sam puts his hand behind him, threateningly. “Who the hell are you?”

 

                     “Claire!” Hela smiles brightly as Bree brings her to the halls of helheim. This doesn’t look too different. Though Boda daughter affectionately greeting Claire Novak with an intimate yet casual kiss certainly is. As is Fenrisulfr lounging by the table and not chained in Asgard until Ragnarok. And Jormungander playing chess in another corner with Thor instead of being bound in a cave deep under the earth is also fairly unusual. This place just keeps getting curiouser and curiouser.

                    “Hey, honey.” Claire sighs.

                    “Has Alex given birth yet? Are we aunties?”

                    “Yes, and some assholes cursed her and the baby so we’re here to see if B oda can be of any help in figuring this out.” Claire rests her head against Hel’s chest a moment.

                    “How are they cursed?”Hela asks as Fenris takes off like someone lit his tail on fire. The wolf’s siblings give him a brief sympathetic glance but don’t seem too worried. “The symptoms I mean.”

                    “Well, they’ve both slipped into comas that can’t be explained. Hold on, Michael drew a sketch of it, it’s woven into their nerves or something.” She reaches into her pocket for it, but Bree’s already removed it on the way over. “No! Oh, please don’t tell me I lost it.”

                     “It’s alright, I think I remember it.” Bree snaps up another picture close enough to the original to fool her but not close enough to be remotely helpful. 

                     “Thank you.” Claire sighs, taking it from her.

                     “Mom should be in her quarters trying to find a way to convince Rhys to settle down with your partner and have puppies.” Hela rolls her eyes. Claire just makes a face.

                     “So she’s going to cure infertility?” Bree raises an eyebrow.

                     “What are you talking about? Krissy’s had a child.” Claire looks back at her.

                     “I’m surprised you couldn’t do anything about this, father.”  Hela taps the paper. “You’re especially apt at untangling curses.”

                     “Me?” Bree looks surprised.

                     “No, the other archangel who raised me.” Her sarcasm is actually kind of adorable.

                     “Obviously if she could, she would. She’s not Lucifer for chrissake.” Claire speaks up before Bree can think of an answer.

                    “Yeah, Hela, what do you think I am?” Bree manages to sound offended though the most perplexing thing about the statement is that Hel called her ‘father’. does she not know who’s brat she is?

                    “You’d better stay here for now.” Claire cautions Bree who shrugs and watches the girls go. It’s so funny seeing her little girly pink and pretty princess Claire in jeans and plaid overshirts playing hunter. It’s even better she and Raphael don’t even like each other here. The last thing Bree needs is yet another person vying for her Raphi’s attentions. Plus it means she can play with the little vessel however she wants without him getting angry now.

                    Maybe it’s best to stay in this world. It even actually seems like she’s not actually out cast and unwelcome anywhere, either. Not that she cared but it provides so much more scope for entertainment. Jormungandr is ignoring her but that’s the extent of his hostility. There’s also none from then which is nice. He kind of seemed to take the whole sleeping with his wife thing a bit hard back in her thread. No one can take a  joke.

                    “So, what are you two up to?” She sneaks up behind the two.

                    “Yuri refuses to learn to fight properly.” Thor gives the world snake a stern look. ‘Yuri’ cute. “Like a man.”

                    “If you want me to be the man you should have just said so.” Jormungadr gives a mocking smile. Thor’s not amused. “It only matters that you win, not how. My strength is more than enough to serve me.”

                    “You were bested by a frail sixteen year old human girl! Repeatedly!”

                    “She was not human. Besides which she had millenias of battle training and experience fighting stronger opponents than herself. And I did NOT lose!” Jormungandr retorts.

                    “Because she yeilded.”

                    “She yeilded because she was about to truly lose and wished to pretend it would have been otherwise. It was a tricky manipulative thing to deny me a true victory and that’s all!”

                     “Because my brother begged her to do so. Regardless you should be embarrassed to no end about that fight even getting to the point that there was a question of who would have won.” Thor scolds him scornfully.

                     “I’m still more than a match for you, if you truly wish me to improve it’ll just end in a reversal of our positions,so think carefully before you push this, sturmkind.”

                     “I’d like to see you try, serpent.” Thor leans across the chess board.

                     “So, are you two trying to be discreet on is it supposed to be broadcasting to the world that you’re screwing your uncle?” Bree turns to Jormungandr a bit amused. The world snake glares at him. So she just starts whistling a relevant tune from the South Park movie and  moves one of the black pieces.

                     “You promised…’ Jormungandr hisses.

                     “Did I? And you believed me?” Bree laughs, not really caring what he’s referring to.

                     “Brother.” Thor’s calling him brother? “You always keep your word.” the thunder god gives him such an odd look.

                    “I do? What fun is that?” Bree raises an eyebrow at them. “Next you’ll be saying I neither slept with Sif or murdered Boda.” Bree laughs in disbelief. From the looks on their faces, either she hadn’t or they didn’t know. “Whoops. Oh well, I’m bored here. Catch you later.” She salutes and vanishes.

                    Maybe she’ll go play with that little mini-mule while Claire deals with the aftermath at her little announcement. Where is the little whirlwind?

                   “Mommy!” Shelly runs up to her as she appears in the bunker.

                   “Gabriel.” Oh shit, Michael’s there. What is she just fucking everywhere? “I need to speak with you.”

                   “Um, no.” She holds onto the little one and takes off. “Hey, short stuff. Want to go play with more of those nice doggies that daddy killed?”

                   “Mommy! Don’t be so  mean to Auntie Miqa. And I have to ask daddy first. I promised Helel. I don’t want you to me to get in trouble.”

                   “Babycakes, I’m always in trouble.” Bree pinches her cheek. “Nice shirt.”

                   “I’m a doctor. Are you sick? Is that why you’re being so silly? Say ahhh…” Shelly pulls out a  popsicle stick, stained blue on one end. 

                    “Ahhh.”

                    “Gabriel! Will you come back here? This is important. I’m not going to yell at you. I’m worried about Helel.” Yeah, right. Like she’s going to fall for that. Michael’s actually gotten pretty fast. Or is the little luggage in Bree’s arms just slowing her down that much. Probably a little of both.

                    “Sorry, kiddo, looks like play time has to wait.” Bree tweaks her nose and tosses the little things off to the left, breaking right. Even if Michael isn’t able to catch the toddler Bree knows she’ll at least try hard enough to slow her down. Sure enough when  Bree looks back to check, Michael’s veered off, speeding even faster to get the falling child who’s surprised look is absolutely hilarious especially as it turns to fear. The nightingale vanishes in a storm of laughter.


	23. Home Is Where They Have To Take You In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci and Gabriel escape.   
> Mule talks with his family, reaches out to Claire.

               “Are you in pain?” Luci asks keeping his wings wrapped around Gabriel’s poor raw wingless back.

               “A little. Are you? She said you were hurt.”

               “A little.” He replies. “I don’t seem to fit right in my grace, his grace. Like forcing the right puzzle piece in the wrong way or something, and I’m the piece.” Luci sighs, “Why didn’t you go to Raphael? Why Michael of all angels? Why didn’t you call me?”

               “I did tell you, the other you I guess, and he didn’t believe me. Raphael didn’t believe me either. Also apparently the other me is his wife. He kissed me and I freaked out. I thought… I thought Michael at the core would still be Michael you know?” She holds tighter. He’s not frozen anymore but still cool enough to be soothing.

               “I know.”

               “I don’t suppose you have a plan.”

               “I did, but I blew it to hell rescuing you. I’m not sure where we can go. Speed is no longer one of our advantages. I doubt I’ll still have access to the library. I don’t know if I have any private vaults in this thread. I sincerely doubt I’d need any. This Raphael still hates me, but maybe he can take care of you while I’m trying to figure somethings out.” Gabriel’s a little irritated that Luci isn’t slightly more offended by the whole her being married to Raphael thing, but then again, he is about to marry his own elder sibling. Still he could at least have been surprised.

              “Hell no, you are not leaving me alone with him. What if he tries to kiss me again? I can’t even begin to deal with that right now.” Gabriel shudders.

              “Gabriel, I think we have bigger concerns right now.” Luci leans back. “This is going to be torture giving this up, you know. They love me here, just like they need to. So you’d better remember and appreciate this especially since i might have to violate the terms of my parole to get us out of here.”

              “No, just get us out of the cell itself. There might be a secret walkway.” Gabriel holds onto his robe and tries to stand.

              “Might be?” He just picks her up instead.

              “Well, in our thread Raphael made a lot of secret passageways and stuff so he could avoid you easier before you feel. He put them in all of the new additions, which these cells are. He didn’t tell me about them but I found out anyway. So maybe this one did too, since your relationship was the same.”

               “You know,” Luci walks over to the cell door and takes hold of it with one hand freezing it until the metal shatters. “I don’t think you should just dismiss this out of hand.”

               “Dismiss what?”

               “You and Raphael, married. Personally I think you two would be wonderful together. Besides no one else could possibly be good enough for either of you.” Luci steps out of the cell. “Which way?” He looks down at her. She just glares at him, completely unamused. “Gabriel? Which way?”

               “Go left, kick the bottom right bright.” she points over her shoulder. “No, Luce, your other right.”

               “You pointed to the left corner.”

               “I did not!”

               “Just… hush… and tell me the way out.”

               “I can’t do both, nii-san.”

               “Then just don’t say anything else then, Now which way?” Luci looks at the two directions in the corridor.

               “Your way or the highway, apparently.” she grumbles.

               “Left or right, smartass.”

               “Left then the second right, then straight until the floor disappears. We can sneak out that way.”

               “Thank you. Now was that so hard?”

               “You didn’t have to shush me. It’s not like I wasn’t keeping everyone from hearing us, you know.” Gabriel sulks, because of course she’d mention that now and not right away.

               “I didn’t but hush anyways.”

               “So, how do we get ahold of Raphael?” The angel of communication asks. She must be in pain to ask such a dumb distracted question.

               “He’s your sweetheart. Pray to him.”

               “Eww, ugh, don’t… fine. I guess I can’t ask you to.” Gabriel winces closing her eyes.

               “Be nice.”

               “I’m always nice to Raph.” She protests, which is probably relatively true.

               “Be sweet then, like you are to Sam when you screw something up.” Luci clarifies.

               “Again ewww! Though, honestly given I’m the wife now, I really shouldn’t have to do that nearly as much as I do. Seriously.”

                “You’re still you, paseh.” Luci kisses her forehead. Honestly Sam will probably get sick of it soon enough.

                 “Okay, okay. Um, Raphael? It’s me.” She starts.

                 “He knows it’s you, Gabriel. You do have a very distinctive frequency.” Luci reminds her, unneccesarily.

                  “Shut up I’m praying. I mean, shit. Okay, Raph, I’m sorry I’ve been a pain. More so than usual. But I’m really hurt and I need your help. Are you still in hell? Can you meet us somewhere?”

                  “Don’t say us. He’ll never come if he knows I’m there, too.” Luci chides her.

                  “Shhhh!” She covers his mouth. “Those caves you’ll have to just stay in the ether and push me through. You don’t have a vessel right now.”

                  “Shit. Alright. I’ll drop you there and go find one.”

                  “A terminally ill one. Who’s dying and would die before the time you’d be finished using it. Or go to Sam,this one apparently adores you.” Gabriel grits her teeth and lets him drop her in the bushes by a cavern entrance.

                    “Seriously?”

                    “Yes!” She snaps, clenching her hands. “He’s coming, so go.”

                    “I’ll be back soon.” Luci takes off and goes hunting for a vessel. Somehow, it hurts even worse back here, away from Luci’s cooling touch. 

                    “Bree.” Raphael pushes the brush aside and freezes, looking at the crippled angel in horror.

                    “Hey, Raph. So, I did something stupid.” Is all Gabriel manages before she passes out.

 

                    “You have to stop looking at that, Sam.” Dean sits beside his brother and hands him a root beer. Mule ignores him and just flips through the pictures. “That’s not her. It’s not you, it’s not your life. Don’t…”

                      “I know. But it could have been. I could have been daddy and not just Uncle Mule. Not that I don’t love being Uncle Mule. Kids are great when you can give them back at the end of the day.” He grins at his brother who pretends not to be amused.  “I wonder what she’d be like, a nightingale that’s not corrupted and evil.” Mule swipes to a picture of Bree and the child Michele playing on the floor. He’s never seen that smile on her face. It looks real.  They used to fool him, her smiles, her laughter. Empty, hollow, just a mask over the pain that let them pretend she was okay.  Just like his became. And just like her he ended up doing anything and everything he could to keep that mask in place.

                     “But she is evil and if this one here isn’t the evil one then that child and the other you are in danger, so we need to get our evil one back. Pronto.” Dean takes the phone from his hands. “Don’t do this to yourself, Sam.”

                     “Dean, do me a favor,” Mary walks over and clasps her eldest son’s shoulder. “Go call your angel and bring him down here. He needs to know what’s going on.”

                     “Mom, I don’t think he can take it. Not now. Not yet.” Dean protests quietly.

                     “Dean, Michael needs to know. Before he does something he can’t undo” She puts a hand to his cheek. “And he can handle it. As long as he has you there with him, he can handle it.”

                    “Okay, mom.” Dean sighs. “I’ll be back soon. Keep trying to get ahold of Hele, okay?” He taps Sam’s head with the phone. “Here, you’d better take this.” He hands it to Mary.  She puts it in her pocket and sits down.

                    “How’s Claire?”  Sam asks as she sits down beside him.  

                    “Not sure. She seems relatively calm and collected. She doesn’t want to go stay with Jo because she doesn’t want to bring trouble to the twins and I can’t convince her otherwise.”

                     “I feel the same way, honestly.” Sam looks out across the back yard. “You could take her hunting.”

                     “No, absolutely not. She’s going to stay here, get her GED go to college and have as much of a normal life as she can have from now on.”

                     “She’s an adult, mom. Even if she doesn’t quite look it. And she’s not your daughter, you can’t try to tell her what to do with her life. Honestly we can’t and shouldn’t force her to stay here with us, now that we know what’s going on.” Sam clarifies as she gives him a look to remind him he’s the one who insisted she stay with them in the first place not two days ago.

                     “It’s not like I don’t have plenty of room. For both of you. The garage could always use some more help. If we had another receptionist we could keep longer customer hours, and our payroll guy sucks. And i know you picked up a few things in the army about vehicle maintenance at least. “

                     “Not enough to be a mechanic.” Mule hedges.  Really not wanting to start a fight by refusing her outright again but not wanting to start this conversation again either. 

                     “You can change oil,rotate tires, basic stuff that’s half our business. And you know you’re smart enough to be able to help Randy when I’m on a hunting trip at least.” Mary looks at him. She still doesn’t trust him alone there, she’s saying. or is she saying she trusts him when she’s not there. Maybe both. He doesn’t want to ask, he doesn’t want to know either way.

                     “I’m not staying, Mom.” His desire not to talk overwhelms his desire to avoid a fight at all costs. Mary’s silent for a moment. He knows she wants to argue, to point out all the points she’s pointed out before, and some new ones he knows she’ll throw in. “Once everything with the nightingale is cleared up, I’m going.”

                     “Well, your room will always be here waiting for you. You still have the key to the house right?”

                     “Yeah, I do.” Sam gets to his feet and walks back into the hous. “Hey.” He nods to Claire who’s sitting looking at a small stuffed grumpy cat doll in her lap. She looks in her mid teens, young, innocent, though she’s undoubtedly neither after what she’s been through.

                     “Hey.” She nods in his directions, not looking at him.

                     “So, have you been told what’s going on?” He sits across from her onteh edge of the coffee table.”

                      “About what?”

                      “About the nightingale.”

                      “No. I’m not exactly trustworthy, you see.” She slouches back into the couch and looks away, the cat in her arms.

                      “We think that she’s been switched with another version of herself from some alternate reality. One that’s not evil. We think that’s what she’s trying to do that to Helel and it was an accident.”

                      “Oh,” She doesn’t sound surprised. “Maybe. Or maybe its just an elaborate prank. She’ll do that sometimes, though she usually makes Raphael help her. It keeps the body count down.”

                       “She gave me my soul back.”

                       “Wow, okay.” Claire’s eyes widen. “Yeah, no, she would never do that. She is too scared of your mom to give up that advantage.”

                       “She is?” Sam grins. “Did you let mom know that?”

                       “No. I dunno, I… “She squirms uncomfortably.  “She’s a hunter. I’m the devil’s adopted child. Well, abducted child, but still.”

                       “Look, Claire, you know who I am right? Do you know my history with the nightingale?”

                       “No, She doesn’t talk about you much, except as Helel’s vessel, you know. She’s kind of obsessed with him.”

                       “Yeah. Well, I’m a marine, was a marine. I joined after high school. Mom wasn’t too happy about that. She wanted me to go to college. Ivy league and all that, my SAT’s and ACTs were both near perfect. I was being scouted for track, but my father was a marine and I’d always wanted to get to know him better. Being a marine was a big part of his life, it’s what helped him open the garage. He only came back because his mother was dying. His dad had disappeared when he was little, so I joined. Dean and I had a huge fight when I told him. We didn’t talk for years, and you know how he’s mom’s favorite son. So she took his side of course, when she had anything to say at all. She didn’t want me to go either, but i think she understood. She always said I took after him the most. It didn’t always sound like a good thing.” Mule gives a light humorless laugh.

                     “But I went, gave it my all. Mom didn’t raise us to be hunters, she wanted better for us, but she didn’t leave us ignorant either. She taught us to protect ourselves and where to go for research, Bobby and Ellen did as well. Honestly the roadhouse is a hub for hunters, so when mom went hunting during school vacations and such, we stayed there with them. We’d have picked stuff up anyway. Dean had made up his mind to be a police officer early on though, and I decided that I didn’t want to be a hunter like mom if it meant leaving my kids all the time. I’d considered being a lawyer, since hunters have a larger need of them than most people.  But first the marines. In one of my first deployments, I was sent  to peru to back up a special forces unit that was holed up and no one was able to extract yet. It was able to keep El Tuchi andthe other protective spirits from wiping mine out and killed a pishtaco, a fat sucker, that killed most of the ones we did.com loose.

                    “So i ended up being sent to similar places most of which ended up having similar problems and the last one, my last one before I was to go home. Dean sent word that he was getting married. He wanted me to come home, patch things up, said he was sorry. Plus he mentioned wanting to start a family. Jo and Mom were hunters, and he was a police officer so I decided to leave the army so I could be there to… to help out, so their kids would never be without family, and never have to leave their home if they didn’t want to. In case something happened, I wanted to be part of their life that wouldn’t change. 

                     “It was in Iraq. People were going missing in this one large decimated area, without bodies or ransoms and no one could find out why, or where and everyone who looked ended up disappearing, so soon no one was looking but us. My best friend died there, beheaded by insurgents that had decided to set up shop there. It was my fault, I was so sure it was supernatural that I completely overlooked any other possibilities. He died right in front of me.  Of course, it turned out I was right, and the insurgents had just arrived. When the djinn caught up with them, they caught me too. 

                    “It was a whole family of them. Hunting in the city, but feasting in a cave deep under the desert. I won’t talk about the dreams I had but by the time I was taken, I didn’t want to wake up. When I did I was the only one left alive in a pile of dead bodies, including dead djinn. Bree was there. She rescued me, helped me get somewhere safe. I was MIA presumed dead for over a year I think. I don’t remember,mom would know better than I would. She nursed me back to health, gave me things to help with the pain. I fell in love. Called her my guardian angel. She thought that was hillarious and just kept making me feel good and okay. The person I loved didn’t exist though, she was just an illusion of what i wanted to see.

                   “When I made it home, I forget how or why. I honestly don’t remember much about the time with her. They felt much longer and much shorter than they were at the same time. It was strange being home. I had it in my mind that when I was home, everything would be better, I’d be better. But nothing felt right. I kept seeing things. Things that weren’t there. I had nightmares, I just couldn’t function, I got sick. Withdrawal apparently. i couldn’t go to therapy because I couldn’t tell the truth about what I’d done, what I’d seen. There are no therapists for hunters civilian or military.  When she appeared again, I was so grateful. I’d told them about her so she was welcomed with open arms.

                    “And I started to get better. Because she was there, giving me what I needed to feel okay. Until they stopped making me feel okay and i needed more and more and I ran out of money. I was so desperate I started stealing things. From the house, from Dean, from the garage, just to pay for it. One night there was nothing to steal and the cravings and pain were so bad I couldn’t even move. She was there and I soul my soul for a hit, just one more hit. That’s when she left, and left me more than a little money to buy more with. I overdosed within the week and when I woke up in the hospital, Dean was there. He had handcuffed me to the bed and proceeded to read me my rights. And that was my relationship to the devil. “ Sam looks down at his arms. He doesn’t need to go into the years he got in prison, all the time he spent in solitary until Ellen put a mortgage on the Roadhouse and hired a lawyer to get his sentance reduced, and appealed for a year to get him sent to rehab instead, with parole when he got out of solitary.  But he’s not telling her to vent or for sympathy. He’s telling her for a reason. 

                 “So,” he continues, “If there’s anything you want to talk about. Anything at all, you can talk to me and I won’t judge or condemn you and might even understand.”

                 “Raphael protected me.” Claire looks a little abashed, embarrassed maybe. “Aside from strict often nonsensical rules and insisting on making me a pink and pretty princess. She just… made me watch I guess. Taught me to dance,taught me to sing, to bake. I don’t know. I was a hostage after all, but I was a well treated one. I’m sorry. I’m scared of her more by proxy, than any other reason.”

                  “Raphael protected you?” Mule can’t help but feel relieved. The fact that it shows so clearly on his face, makes Claire relax a little as well. “You said,he’d freed you too.” 

                  “Yeah, there was a plan in place. If he ever just had enough, or couldn’t stay with her anymore, or if he had convinced her to let me go or if Castiel and my father died, he wasn’t going to just leave me there. I know that Bree is evil, but he’s not. He’s all that’s keeping her from being even worse. All that’s keeping her together even the little she is. I’ve seen it. And even though she’s evil, she’s all that’s standing between us and the darkness.”

                  “Helel… has a different opinion on Raphael’s usefulness.” Mule says gently.

                  “Oh, well, I guess that’s that, then.” Claire scowls  at him.

                  “Nobody’s entirely good or entirely bad. That’s what makes life so complicated. Still if you ever want to talk, I’m here.”

                  “No, you won’t be.” Claire shakes her head. “You’re leaving remember? As soon as the nightingale is taken care of. She hates being called that by the way.”

                  “Right, well, I can stay until you’re settled and comfortable at least.” Sam rubs the back of his neck. 

                  “I’m sorry about your friend. What was his name?” She says after a minute. 

                  “Aaron, Aaron Kine. He’s the one that first called me Mule. We made a great team and I… I hated it at first, but now It’s like I can’t stand being called anything else. What about you? You’re not actually that fond of the pink and pretty princess look?” He kicks at the flowing ruffled skirt of her dress.

                   “I hate it.” She confesses darkly. 

                   “Well, then I guess we need to get you some new stuff, then.” Sam stands up. “Mom, I’m taking Claire to the mall to get some clothes.”

                   “Take the Impala.”

                   “Mom, I don’t even know if that thing is road legal.”

                   “Like your brother would let me drive it if it wasn’t.” She scoffs tossing him the keys. 

                   “Like he’d ever dare to stop you.” Sam catches them.

                   “Well, Jo’s using the wagon tonight anyways so, this is it.”  she takes a few bills out of the cookie jar and hands them to him. Sam just stares at the jar then her. He doesn’t even remember when the last time she put money there was. Maybe she does trust him again. By himself, without Helel. “God, look at you.” Mary looks up at him. “Look at this monster.”She turns to Claire. “Be honest, can you believe i gave birth to this? I sure can’t.”

                   “Well, I assume he was smaller at the time.”Claire puts the cat down, then changes her mind again and puts it in her purse. Sam laughs at her joke, making his mother smile.

                    “We’ll be back soon. Do you want us to pick up dinner?”

                    “Yeah, get something really bad for my cholesterol.” Mary salutes them as they head out. Maybe she can get him to stay after all. Maybe Claire can. If she can make sure the devil is no longer an issue when all this is done, maybe. 


	24. Song of the Morning Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lonely Helel tries to bond with Sam.

         “I’m Helel ben Sahar. And you’re Samuel Winchester.” Helel says carefully as Sam points the gun at him. He keeps his voice calm and soothing and stays still. He doesn’t know if this Sam is as traumatized as his Mule but based on how fast he drew his gun, Helel wouldn’t be surprised.

         “I don’t think so.”

         “Huh, I’m honestly not really sure what to do or say right now. I really don’t want to be shot. I imagine it’s not fun.”

         “Given Luci’s been shot before you shouldn’t have to imagine, now tell me who you are.”

         “Sam!” Michael snaps the gun from his hand as he appears with a crying Shelly in his arms. “What do you think you’re doing?” Helel gives a sigh of relief. Whatever else is wrong with this thread of existence, he can always depend on Michael at least.

         “Daddy..” Shelly sobs reaching for her father, who quickly takes her and holds her close as she cries. “Mommy… mommy… mommy threw me away!”

         “What?” Sam looks confused. “I’m sure she didn’t…”

         “Sam,” Michael interrupts him. “Gabriel literally threw her away. I wanted to talk to her about relationship problems but she took off. I went after her because I thought she’d assumed I wanted to scold her. I tried to tell her otherwise but she just… she threw Michelle out into the ether and took off. I barely caught her. The sister I know would never, ever knowingly endanger a small child that way. ”

           “Shelly, honey.” Helel reaches out to touch the child’s shoulder, stopping at Sam shoots him a look. “That wasn’t your mommy. I promise. You mommy would never throw you away. She violated the laws of god and man to have you.”

           “It wasn’t?” Shelly looks up, taking her teary eyes from her father’s soaked shoulder. 

          ‘No. No my little song. She’s.. she’s a bad hurt little girl who does naughty things all the time because she thinks it’s funny or doesn’t want to get caught. She’s called the nightingale and she’s very bad.” 

          “As bad as you were?” Shelly asks innocently.

          “Worse.” It’s not exactly a lie. “I doubt I ever could be as bad as the nightingale.”

          “I repeat, who are you.” Sam steps back, holding onto Shelly. “And what’s more where are Lucifer and my wife?”

           “Wife! You married her!” Helel can’t help but express his utter shock. Gabriel marrying his vessel is somehow worse than her marrying Raphael. Even worse than whatever his other self  is doing with the other Michael.

            “Sam, that is Helel. And it is Gabriel. I can recognize them. They’re very distinctive faces. 

            “I’ve always wondered how it is you manage to be constantly right and wrong at the same time.” Helel frowns at his sister. Well, brother at the moment apparently. They are both in completely wrong bodies, it’s disconcerting. “I am Helel and she is Gabriel but we’re not the right ones. This isn’t our Thread of existence. I don’t know how this happened. But I know the nightingale is responsible for it somehow. I’m fairly sure she’s the one who cursed your therapist.” 

             “My… You think Gabriel cursed Alex and Abigail? Why would she do that?” Michael’s inability to venture a guess at least means Raphael and Gabriel were never involved that way here. Though she married his vessel. HIS vessel.

             “Well, the human is sleeping with her husband, and bore his child.” Helel informs them. The look on Michael’s face is as surprised as it should be but not nearly offended enough. 

             “Her what? They what?”

             “Yes, fairly appalling isn’t it? An angel pursuing a physical relationship with her brother.” Helel looks at him pointedly, and not a little scornfuly. Michael’s forgotten how much that particular look pissed him off and how incredibly condescending Luci can be. “Anyhow, I need to get some mice and test out a few curses so we can untangle your human and figure out what to do to get the two of us back where we belong.”

             “I’m going to go get Raphael and we are going to sit down and discuss this. Don’t go anywhere.” Michael leaves again.

             “I see Michael’s on good terms with her favorite song.” Helel says cooly, going to sit down in the recliner. The clear jealously in his voice makes Sam raise an eyebrow. “So, you two actually believe me. I didn’t think you would.”

              “I do.” Sam gently rocks his daughter, who’s cried herself almost to sleep. Helel looks up at him and gets up out of the chair.

             “Here.” He nods to the recliner and goes to pull a chair out from the island to sit in.”

             “And this would be why.” Sam sits down in the chair feeling exhausted. “Lucifer would have just tried to get Shelly from me instead.”

             “But you’re her father. Fathers are important.” Helel shakes his head and gives a sigh. “She tried to tell me, too and I didn’t believe her.” He sits down backwards in the chair and rests his chin on the back. “Your wife. I just thought she was playing a trick, having an episode or something. You know?”

           “An episode?”

           “Every so often she’ll get especially cruel and reckless. First it was just a couple times a day, then every few thousand years, then every hundred,every decade, I think it’s getting closer to once a year now. She’s not going to last much longer. I keep begging her to ask forgiveness and come home, to give the mark to me. But she won’t,she’s too afraid.”

           “Of?”

           “Of Michael of course. She’s not doing too well either. When Raphael left with Gabriel when she got expelled from heaven, it broke his heart. For whatever reason she loved him as much as I loved Gabriel and refused to accept it. Especially when other angels started to dessert heaven as well. She begged him to come home, she even promised to let him go to her whenever he wanted, but he refused to leave Gabriel’s side.It’s like he didn’t care about Michael at all, the ungrateful brat.”

           “So, heaven didn’t split in a civil war?”

           “I wouldn’t call it that. But angels kept leaving seduced by humanity and the freedom she had. And then of course the whole nephilim issue arose and to protect humanity we had to put a stop to both. You understand, don’t you?” It’s incredibly disconcerting to Sam how clearly this angel actually seems to care whether or not he does. What does he hope to get out of it, that’s the real question.

           “I do, so far as what you’re telling me.” Sam says cautiously. “They didn’t have the medical advances needed to survive such difficult births and there were limits to what you were allowed to do.”

           “Well, it was more so that most of my siblings,” By which he’s clearly referring to Michael, “Took a very strict and unyeilding view of what we were and weren’t allowed to do. Especially Michael, and while I oversaw the basic operations of heaven and earth, she was in charge of all military matters including the garrisons watching over earth. They were the ones in most contact with humanity and fell the most often. Dad, of course, was busy mucking about with humanity, as always trying to get them to go where ever he intended them to go. I have no idea how well he succeeded. He was never very forthright with things like that. Of course, things between dad and me were a little strained after he banished Gabriel, anyways and he wouldn’t talk to Michael more then just instructions. He wouldn’t even try to talk sense into Raphael.

            “Finally, though we caught him alone, trying to save this woman who give birth to twin boys, Romulous and Remus. He didn’t of course. And I got him to come back by promising to spare them and keep them safe from other angels. Which I did basically by just leaving them to die of exposure after warding them. They did survive though, unfortunately, But I made sure they were killed by human hands, not angelic. So technically I kept my word.” The look Sam’s giving him at this makes him turn his head away. Though Sam can see very clearly where Gabriel and Shelly got that particular hair splitting from. 

             “Anyways, the little brat still refused to agree to stay. He said wouldn’t leave her, that she was his wife. Michael was horrified. I wasn’t too happy either, of course. But they started to argue and she just lost it and ordered me to make him see reason. Which of course was impossible as he’s the most stubborn, willful, difficult angel you have ever met. But Michael wouldn’t agree to just have him executed like he should have been so it fell on me to persuade him. And so, for Mitcha’s sake, I did everything I could.”

               “And what exactly did you do?” Though Sam sounds as if he knows exactly what Helel did.

               “What I had to.” Helel replies just as cooly. And there’s Lucifer. He really was always a part of Helel. That heartless ruthlessness. “I always do what I have to, if only so that Michael doesn’t. Not that I expect you to understand. I can’t imagine you and this Dean get along any better than mine. Granted, I had to remind him every so often, but for a few hundred years Michael got his favorite song back by her side, so she was happy. At least as happy as a waste of intent like that could make anybody. 

               “At least until Gabriel found out what happened to him. She was clever about it, she started actively courting our siblings. The angel of communication we couldn’t keep her from talking to anyone, ever. When dad was away, making his open arm gesture of forgiveness to angel and human alike she and her angels broke into heaven to try and take Raphael back. Much to my dismay some of our angels decided to turn on us and help them.

               “She didn’t stand a chance of course. It was an act of pure desperation. Dad came back but no matter how I pleaded with her. She wouldn’t repent, wouldn’t give me the mark, wouldn’t do anything to make things better.  So Since she couldn’t be allowed to roam free, as things were, Dad made the cage.” 

               “I begged and pleaded with him not to do. Not to put her in there. It would have been torture beyond torture. There had to be another way. And we just fought, I was so angry and upset and I didn’t understand why it had to be that way. After all, it was my fault, she was corrupted in the first place. Surely he could just take the mark from her, and give it to me, then she’d be free of it’s influence and we could save her. I said some things I shouldn’t have and he left. And never come back.”

               “How did she get out of the cage?” Sam asks, not a bit of warmth in his voice. Helel doesn’t answer for the longest time. He probably freed her or arranged for it.

               “She was never in it.” Helel finally speaks. “Everything would have been fine, if it weren’t for that absolute useless mossy ball of dirt Raphael. If he’d only seen reason, showed Michael the least consideration on his own, it never would have happened. None of it. He was the one who should have been caged, so I… persuaded him to take her place.”

               “You had Raphael thrown in the cage?” Sam looks astonished. “I believe it of you, but not how you managed to keep it from Michael.”

               “I tried. It didn’t exactly go as planned. I was upset and in a hurry and didn’t do it right I guess. Michael was determined to make an example of her, full fanfare in front of all of heaven, to let them know that rejecting our father’s mercy meant that absolutely none would be shown. I refused to bear witness, mostly for an alibi, partly so I wouldn’t be expected to intervene with her escape, so I wasn’t there when Michael brought her to the edge and instead of throwing himself in, and closing it, Raphael grabbed Gabriel away and pushed Michael in instead.” Helel buries his head in his arm.

               “I never meant for that to happen. I never meant for any of it to happen. I tried to call dad back, to apologize, to beg for help, but there was no answer. There’s never been any answer. In order to get him out, I needed a vessel, a proper one. One that wouldn’t crumble as it tried to contain me. I knew dad had something set in motion for Michael and me, but Gabriel set fire to the library and burned the records. Oh, the cupids knew who to pair with who, but not why exactly. There were more people meant to come into being than just you. The prophet for instance, certain heros, and religious leaders. Making sure certain lines of vessels don’t die out. Around the time you and Dean were opposed to be born Gabriel started finding and warding every single one. I thought it meant she didn’t know, but she was just not giving anyone else. she knew I was going to do everything I could to free Michael, and honestly I don’t blame her for being terrified.

               “If I knew she knew who you were, he was, I’d have sent every angel in heaven out searching. And not just half of them. It still might not have helped. humanity outnumbered us to a ridiculous degree and that little raid of hers didn’t help any. Not to mention angels kept defecting. Not as many but enough. If my Mule hadn’t prayed to me, I don’t know that I ever would have found him.”

               “You call your vessel your mule?” Sam sets his jaw, and gently untangles a few knots in Shelly’s hair with his fingers.

               “That’s his nickname. He got it in the marines. ‘Mule’. He hates being called Sam, really hates being called Sammy. He usually insisted on Samuel but it got shortened of course. He doesn’t like to go by anything else now.” Helel gives a fond smile that Sam finds himself a little weirded out by. “He is stubborn, though, and strong,and smart. He doesn’t really know how wonderful he is, you know. Even with everything he’s been through he’s still kind and loving and forgiving to a degree I doubt I ever really was. He makes me glad I put up with humanity. As if it was all worth it, the difficulties, the frustration, the pain, the loss. I can see all those things in that little girl in your arms.”

               “Honestly, she takes after you a lot more than I care to admit and never will admit to the other you.” Sam confesses. “there’s little pieces of all of us in her. She’s just taking it all in and making it her own. She has her mother’s eyes, her curls, her laugh, her sweet tooth, her fondness for playing dress up. Michael’s strength and feirceness and tendancy towards the physical and instinct for command.”

               “So she’s bossy and short tempered with the tendancy to act out physically.” Helel smiles.

               “I didn’t say that.” Sam smooths out the wrinkled dress shirt crumpled up around his daughter. “But she has Raphael’s heart, his empathy, Dean’s appetite and technical aptitude, and your charm and intelligence.” Sam smiles down at the sleeping darling. “And my lips and height.”

                “I think you’re giving everyone else too much credit, well, except for her mother, you’re right about all of that. But Shelly doesn’t have my intelligence, she has yours, and your heart and strength and empathy and charm. She’s a confident self assured little thing, it’s wonderful, but she clearly doens’t get it from any of us. maybe from me or auntie mitcha, kids don’t always know when you’re just faking it. We hate each other here, don’t we?” Helel looks up to try and meet Sam’s eyes. “You and other me.”

                 “Yes.” Helel winces a little at how easily he says it. “Though we’re managing to keep things civil because of Shelly, and Gabriel, but we only ever have to interact because of Shelly.”

                  “Is there any hope of that changing?”

                  “No. We’ve both done things we can’t forgive each other for. The current situation is as good as it’s ever going to get. It’s as likely as you and your Raphael reconciling. I have the feeling that what you’ve done to him is as close as what Lucifer did to me as anything else you’ve ever done.”

                   “I don’t believe I could never do anything like that to you.” Helel shakes his head. “How did I fall?”

                   “You refused to love humanity when your father told you to, then tricked Eve into eating the fruit of the tree of knowledge. When you were cast out you started a civil war that lasted until you were caught and caged.”

                   “How many angels sided with me?”

                   “A little less than a Third. And you created demons, torturing and further corrupting dead condemned human souls.”

                   “That’s all?” Helel can’t help but ask. Sam just gives him a look. “No, I suppose that’s quite a lot, honestly. So, why don’t I have the mark if I’m the one who took it in this thread.”

                    “You transferred it to Cain.”

                    “Cain?” Though Helel feels he already knows who he’s talking about, even if he doesn’t want to.

                    “Adam and Eve’s eldest son.” 

                    “I taught him to farm. I taught all of them farming. Raphael wasn’t there and Michael is just terrible with it. So, I broke on the dawn of the eighth day, and somehow Gabriel is still going strong.” Helel falls silent just looking at the floor trying not to think too hard about it. “And Dad stayed to help Gabriel rule heaven. I know she can’t do that on her own. She doesn’t have the temperament, she’s too restless.”

                     “No, Gabriel ran away when it was clear how things were going to end up with you or Michael killing the other, the fate of humanity at stake. Michael and Raphael ruled heaven together. They didn’t do much better than you did, though.” Sam feels oddly compelled to throw the angel a bone. Probably because of the devestated look hovering on the edges of his face.

                     “Michael was supposed to kill me?”

                     “Yeah. Using me and Dean as your vessels.” Sam watches as something dies in the angel’s eyes.

                     “On earth? That would have killed half the globe at least.” He says almost blankly, not as if he’s really concerned but because he’s speaking only because he has to speak.

                    “I know. Dean refused. And we tried to stop the whole thing. We foudn the key to the cage, thanks to Gabriel and I iad yes to you to try and take over and put you back in the cage. It was hard and I took a while but i did. Michael tried to stop me and I ended up pulling him in too.” Sam just keeps looking at Helel, but he’s impossible to read.

                   “So,” Helel speaks after a moment of heavy silence. “I seems that no matter what, I’m responsible for everything wrong in the world and had nothing at all to do with you being as wonderful and heroic and strong as you are in either one. You probably never actually needed me at all.” He rests his head on his arms, looking away in silence for a few more minutes. “I probably never thanked you, either. the other me.” Sam’s too startled to respond. “Thank you for stopping the fight. You saved my life, or saved me from doing something even worse than I already had. At least I assume so. If there’s anything decent left if my counterpart he’s probably grateful as well.”

                    “Your welcome.” Is all Sam trusts himself to say.

                    “And, also, thanks for marrying my sister if only for the fact that it means she’s not married to that bastard brother of hers. Triple thanks for making that cutie in your lap. I always thought you’d be a wonderful father.”

                     “Right.” Sam sighs and looks away. “Does your Michael know what you did? To.. convince Raphael to stay and to save Gabriel?”

                      “No. Only you do, both of you. I don’t think even Raphael remembers. You’re the only person I could ever be completely open and honest with, the only one i could confide in, the only one I could trust with absolutely everything since father left. The other me lost the best friend he could ever have had and he doesn’t even know it.”

                      “You lost a great brother, one you can depend on and enjoy spending time with, and you don’t even know it.” Sam replies.

                      “Who?” Helel frowns, genuinely confused.

                      “Raphael?” Sam’s a little annoyed for Raphael’s sake when Helel starts to laugh.

                      “Okay. I’ll take the hint.” Helel gets to his feet. “I’m going to go lie down for a bit, let me know when you need me again.” He walks a bit unsteadily to the bedroom. “Oh,if you don’t know, the wifi password is apparently Beast0666, I have no idea why, but I assume it’s significant in some way.”


	25. Decisions, Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rowena 's plan  
> Raphael refuses to leave the hospital with Michael  
> Angrboda examines Alex and Abigail, presents a terrible solution.  
> The nightingale begins her courtship of Raphael.

          “Hmm. Seems kind of drastic doesn’t it.” Bree looks over the spell book.

          “Well, it’s not something to be done lightly.” Crowly stands before them. “Unfortunately there’s not exactly anyone we love but ourselves and none of us is inclined to suicide.” He looks at the quince, half gone already, two bites and a slice.

           “Speak for yourself. I love tons of people.” Bree scoffs. “I love my husband, I love Helel. I love my little brothers and sisters, I love that little cutie I had to toss to out fly Michael. When the hell did she get so fast anyway?” Bree grumbles. “I love humanity.”

           “I think they mean in a selfless would do anything for kindo f pure love, not favorite toy kind of love. I love my tie but I don’t think I can sacrifice it for the spell.” Crowley smooths out the bright red tie.

           “Huh,” Bree frowns. “I guess that really only leaves Helel and maybe Raphael. But I’m not killing my Raphi, I need this one to get my other one back over here.”

           “But you already have your Helel.” Rowena points out. “Of course this Lucifer is yours and this Raphael isn’t.” She says that as if it really makes a different. No matter what choices they make, what they’ve experienced, Helel and Raphael will always be Helel and Raphael thus impossible for her not to love.

           “It doesn’t matter. Even if this Raphael doesn’t love me here…I…” Bree stops talking bothered by this more than she ever has been by Helel’s minor distances. Why is a Raphael not in love with her more distressing than two Helel’s that aren’t? Because she’s used to it, probably. 

           “But you still prefer Lucifer to him, though, don’t you? Even the wrong Lucifer to the real Raphael. I think you know which one you love more the only question is, if you’re willing to kill them for this.” Crowley cautions her.

            “No, the question is, do you hate someone enough to sacrifice your loved one to obtain their downfall.” Rowena places a hand on Bree’s shoulder. “It’s not about love, dearie. It’s about hatred. Spite. Who has wronged you more than anyone has ever done you right? That’s why you do it. If your own freedom isn’t enough, do it for their enslavement.” 

            “You have a point. Either way, I need to get my Raphael and do it soon after I get rid of this thing so nothing happens to him over there. I’m going to go check on Raphael. He… oh, shit!” Bree covers her face, bending over to touch her forehead to the table.

            “What’s wrong, pet?”

            “That stubborn… Helel’s spilled the beans and they actually believe him! I thought he was the devil,the lord of lies! Ahhh! Is he always going to be just…” She stops herself before she says something she doesn’t mean about the most precious object of her existence.

             “Well, you only have yourself to blame for this one.” Crowley goes to sit down on the throne. The nightingale is far less inclined to leadership than his brother, going to great lengths to avoid pretty much all of it, which is the only reason she doesn’t obliterate his soul at that very moment. “You did resurrect, parole and reform you brother after all. Well, this you did.”

             “Breidjamme! I AM a pain in the ass, aren’t I?” Bree scowls. “Even I’m starting to dislike me.”

             “Well, we like you.” Rowena consoles her, “Don’t we Fergus?” She gives a him a stern look. Apparently even a prankster needs her ego stroked occaisionally.

             “As much as you like Helel?” Bree looks up at them.

             “More.” Rowena reassures her.

             “Infinitely more.” Crowly is grateful he can answer in complete honestly.

             “Alright. I’ll go get them, Get a cell or something ready. Something comfy. Like honored Aztec sacrifice comfy. Later.” Bree vanishes.

             “Do you really think she should stay here?” Crowly frowns at his mother,resting his head back against the throne.

              “I think, she’s far easier to keep entertained than any other archangel one to deal with. Or do you suddenly not want Lucifer dead and gone beyond home of ressurrection?” 

              “I do.” Crowly says cautiously. “But I know several people who do not. Most of them Archangels.”

               “Well, that’s what this is for.” Rowena takes out a folded piece of paper and places it down on the table. “Once everything is secure. We can make every man and woman on heaven and earth forget he ever existed. IT even works on angels so long as they’re in vessels. We just have to make sure to find a way to get them all down here in a vessel to do it or at least all those who wouldn’t rejoice at his absence. From what I hear there aren’t many let who would want him to still exist. Especially given his relationship with his sister now!”

               “And in return you’ll get…”

               “Books. Tomes, codexes, grimoires, book of shadows, treatise, access to any and every spell my little heart desires. And you get hell back and a much nicer one at that. Don’t fret, Fergus. Just hold your peace, and remember, mother knows best.” She smiles at him. If he wasn’t convinced this was a bad idea before, he is now. The problem is what can he do about it without getting himself killed in the process.

               “That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.” Raphael frowns as Michael finishes telling him what’s going on, as he refused to move without explanation.

               “I believe it. She threw Shelly into the ether, Raphael.”

               “She obviously knew you’d catch her.”

               “I almost didn’t and you know her better than that. She would never endanger a child that way.” Michael insists. Raphael’s doubtful. She endangers that child a million ways already, what’s one more? “It explains a lot actually. You know it does.”

               “I know no such thing. I refuse to believe that even the mark would turn Gabriel into something like that. Someone who would do this to me. And how did they switch? Why would Gabriel even have the mark in the first place much less still have it when Helel broke on the eighth day? Besides which how can she be here with the mark and what does that mean for their thread of existence if it’s true. It can’t possibly still work through dimensions. No. Something is wrong, I agree. But nothing you have said or could say could convince me Alex and Abigail are best served by my absence. Especially if ‘the nightingale’ wants one or both of them dead.”

                 “Raphael.”

                 “No, just go back to Sam and Dean and whoever else believe this absurdity and do what you lik. I’m not leaving the women I love.” Raphael turns away back to Alex. He finally convinced them to put Alex and Abigail in the same room. He’s not leaving either of them vulnerable.

                 “It’s not just… you could be in danger, Raph. We all could. We don’t know what she’s capable of and none of us are nearly the strength we were before resurrection. I don’t want anything to happen to them but I don’t want anything to happen to you either.” Michael insists, placing a hand on his brother’s shoulder. 

                 “I’ll be fine. Now that I know to watch out for her, I’ll be fine. I promise.” He puts his hand over Michael’s and lets his elder sibling embrace him.  “If there’s a specific action you need me to do, just tell me what to do and I’ll do it without hesitation, but otherwise, I’m not leaving them.”

                 “Alright.” Michael gives him a squeeze before letting go and stops to give  Alex and Abigail each a kiss on the cheek. “We’re not giving up on either of you.” He whispers before disappearing. And of course, Raphael’s phone beeps.

                 “Bree abandoned me in Helheim after throwing things into chaos. Need help getting Boda to Alex and Abby.” A text from Claire.

                 ‘Her name is ABIGAIL. I’ll send a soul jar. Take the bifrost to the parking lot and come in. They’re in room 314 B wing.” He texts back and snaps his fingers sending one over.

                 ‘K thnx.’ 

                 “Did you miss me?” He hears whispered in his ear just as a familiar searing pain leeches in through his skin, paralyzing him. His blade is taken and pressed against his neck. “Glad to see something are the same.” Bree grins and draws the tip across letting his grace seep out into a large vial. “Holy shit that worked.” She laughs, healing the cut. “Don’t worry, honey, you’ll get this back eventually.” Bree kisses his cheek. “C’mon, brother let’s play.”

                  “ He said 314B right?” Claire checks the door numbers and looks down at the jar. Why is she talking to a jar? It’s not like Boda can answer. There it is. Claire opens the door and sees Alex and Abigail, but not Raphael. “Of course.” She sighs, rolling her eyes and closes the door behind her. The coward doesn’t want to face her after doing such a lousy fucking job at protecting them that they got cursed right under his nose. She wouldn’t want to be held to account for that either. “Okay, Boda.” Claire opens the jar. “Do your thing.” The lights flicker but don’t get out. After a little while the nurse comes in.

                 “Oh, where did Mr. Jones go?”

                 “My brother in law’s avoiding me. S’up.” She nods to her.

                 “Nothing, just checking their IV’s and feeding tubes.”she says gently.  “Mr. Jones is fairly reliable with the diapers but since he’s not here I’ll check those, too. Do you mind?” 

                  “Sure no, I’ll.. get a drink.” Claire points to the door and heads out.

                  “Thank you.” the nurse closes the blinds. Claire heads out to the vending machines and waits within sight of the room.  “Miss Novak. Can I speak to you?” The nurse beckons her in after Claire finishes her soda. 

                   “Sure… Boda, are you possessing the nurse?” She sighs as soon as the doors closed again.

                    “I have. I have to talk to you alone, Claire. This curse is an old one, a very deadly one. You see, the curse doesn’t kill them if it’s set off, the curse is what’s keeping them alive. They were dead the second it was placed. the enchantment puppets their bodies and holds the souls in place, If you set off the curse by making the choice, it wraps itself into the soul and body of the chosen one returning them to life, but not disappearing at all. And long as it’s in place the soul that’s been severed can’t be returned to this plane in a body without reactivating the curse again.”

                   “If you manage to remove the curse entirely from both without activating it, they’re both dead?”

                    “It’s the best way. If he’s here to resurrect them both, but he has to refuse to make a decision long enough for us to do it.”

                    “No, actually.” Claire sinks down into the abandoned chair. “Yeah, Raphael could resurrect Alex, but thanks to Azrael’s new policy for infants and small children of hunters and such, they get reincarnated right away.  To stop us from cheating Death more than we already do. It’s why Krissy couldn’t get her son back. She’d never forgive us if we did that. She’d never forgive any of us if we got her back at Abigails’ expense. Can anyone make the choice or does it have to be Raphael?”

                    “It seems to be keyed to his grace, but I think that can be circumvented by a few feathers or something.” Boda takes a breath. “There is another option, for some reason the curse binding to Alex is loose.”

                    “Loose?” Claire looks up again. 

                    “I don’t know if it’s on purpose or not but it makes it easy to undo, which you say we can’t, but I think maybe I could also transfer it, without breaking it.”

                    “Transfer it.” Claire repeats blankly. 

                    “Of course that’d only end up making it so that another person can die in their place.” 

                    “Right. We can’t tell anyone else about this. They’re all too… recklessly self sacrificing.” Claire covers her face.

                    “You’d rather do it to an unwilling victim?”

                    “No. She’s my sister.” Claire looks over to Alex. “It has to be me. Of course that begs the question of who I can trust to actually make the choice once I’m transferred.  And you can’t let anyone who loves me make it because I won’t fucking do that to them. Honestly, I kind of owe her this. She died hundreds of times because of me.” She sighs. “Hel will never forgive me. Well, Raphael had either better give her a pass to visit me in heaven or let me visit helheim. God knows he fucking owes me that at least.”

                    “I’ll do it.”Angrboda puts a hand to Claire’s cheek. “You’re like a daughter to me and I understand the obligations of family.”

                    “Thanks. She actually has a few of his feathers at the shelter. I’ll go get them. But get out of the nurse, would you? She has things to do.” Claire waves to the possessed nurse.

                    “Very well. But I’m taking one again when we get back.” The nurse suddenly turns pale and steps back.

                    “Are you alright?” Claire gets up steadying the terrified woman as she starts to hyperventilate. “You know I think you need to go lie down. It looks like you fell asleep on your feet for a minute. You’re working too much and haven’t gotten nearly enough sleep.” A safe bet as she is a medical professional. “Maybe your just getting sick.  Here, get some coffee or something.”

                   “No, no it’s alright. My shifts almost over anyway. I’ll make sure I take a sick day tomorrow.” She just walks slowly out of the room.

                   “Boda, if you keep doing things like that I’m not taking you out again.” Claire sighs and stretches. “Alright, Alex, I’ll be back,soon. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of everything.”

                   “Hi, honey, wakey, wakey.” Bree pats Raphael’s cheek. He must have passed out in the transition. “Welcome to your new home, darling.” she rests her head on his chest. Raphael looks up at the lush canopy of ivy and climbing flowers he can’t see well enough to identify, possibly honeysuckle. There are raised beds of strawberries around the sides of the bed, with the flowers in full bloom.  “Just like you taught me, see?” She reaches over to touch a blossom turning it into a full ripe berry. “ I do listen, occaisionally. Say, ahhh.” Bree puts it to his lips. He doesn’t say anything he just looks at her stubbornly keeping his mouth shut. “Uggh, I know that look. You’re mad at me, aren’t you?”

                    Bree pushes herself up slightly and brushes a stray hair from his cheek. He’s so angry he can’t even speak. But that’s alright. Anger’s not an enemy to love, indifference is.  

                    “I know.” she sighs, stroking his short curls. “I took your grace and you’re mad, but this way you won’t hurt when i touch you. And you can love me without the pain. And so you can’t get away. I don’t like hurting you. I don’t like it when you’re upset with me. I never understood why you loved me but i know you did, so you can, so you will. I’ll give you everything that’s wonderful in this world. When you love me, I’ll give you back your grace and it’ll be my turn.”

                     “No.” Raphael turns his head when she goes to kiss him. “Gabriel, whoever you are.”

                    “Bree.” She reminds him softly. “I’m your wife, Bree. I’m not Gabriel. It’s been a long time since I could be called a man of god, if I ever really was.”

                    “Are you the nightingale?” He asks cooly. The look she gives him is pure hurt and heartbreak.

                    “Don’t you call me that. Not you.” She looks like she’s about to cry. It tugs at his heart as it always does pulling at that piece of him that wants to heal everything.

                    “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

                    “You always told me I was as beautiful as my voice.” Bree gives a fond smile at the reminiscence. 

                    “I don’t want to call you, Bree.” He puts hand to his throat to check. “Bree would never do to me what you have.” He slowly sits up.

                    “She’d probably never do to you what I’m going to do to you either. You’ll never be satisfied with any little human thing again.” Bree straddles her lap and pushes him back down by the wrists. “I hear it’s better when you’re human.” She whispers and kisses his neck.

                    “Don’t. Please don’t.” Raphael tries to push her away but of course he can’t, human strength against an archangels, even the weakest of them.

                    “My queen.” Someone at the door clears his throat. Bree looks back, murder in her eyes. “I beg your pardon but mother wished me to tell you she was ready when you are.”

                   “You are lucky you’re useful.” She hisses. “Alright, let her know I know.”

                   “If I may be so bold.” Crowley clears his throat again. “But in my experience raping a man is not the way to win his heart.”

                   “You can’t rape your spouse, Fergie.” Bree’s annoyance shows in her frighteningly chipper tone.

                   “But he’s not your spouse. Not here. Sam Winchester is.”

                   “Uugghhh, that’s  right, isn’t it? I’m going to have to do something about that. divorce takes too long. I’ll just have to kill him.”

                    “Bad idea.” Crowley winces. “Trust me on this. Besides he’ll be divorcing you soon enough as it is. As for your current predicament, I’m fairly certain that mother might know a few tricks to help you court your darling Raphael.”

                    “You think that would be better? I’m not really feeling well so it’s really hard to remember the finer points of romance.”

                    “If you touch me I will never forgive you.” Raphael says slowly.

                    “Psshh. Yes, you will. You’ve forgiven me worse than this.” She rolls her eyes. “But, I do love you, even if I don’t love you as much as Helel, and don’t want to cause you undue stress, so rest up, eat yummy things, drink really strong things, and think about the most wonderful things you’ve ever felt.  Because I am going to make you feel things a million times worse than that.” She taps his nose and gets up off him. “Oh, woops, I meant better.” She laughs. “Fergie, keep him company and sing my praises while I’m gone would you?” She winks at him and vanishes, fueling the door together as she leaves.

                    “Raphael,” He nods awkwardly at the angel who sits up and just glares at him. “She’s a much better person to serve than Lucifer. Not less inclined to destroy things but utterly disinclined to rule in any way…. Oh, don’t give me that look, I don’t exactly have a lot of options here. That bloody wench just showed up and took over. If you don’t convince her you love her, we are all in a lot of trouble. Because that angel is slowly losing whatever sanity and rationality she ever had.”


	26. Brotherly Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helel decides on a vessel,  
> Gabriel and Mirror Raphael bond

        Luci pauses his search for a vessel as he starts to ache again. This is impossible. He’ll just take a vessel and go back. Fuck probation. But if he doesn’t at least try… Maybe death rows counts as ‘would die before he was finished with it.’ Of course he doesn’t have to stay in a vessel long enough to kill it. It’s a pain in the ass to heal it on the way out, but he does know how. 

         ‘Helel,’ Dear father it’s this Sam again. ‘We’re all very worried about you,me, mom, even Dean. You know Michael is. Whatever you’re doing, you don’t have to do it alone. If you don’t want anyone else involved but please don’t shut me out. I don’t care what you’re doing. I trust you and will always be your side. I’m your vessel, we’re not supposed to be apart this way. Not at times like this. I’m sorry I forgot that. Please, please at least speak to me. Let me know you’re alright.’

       Helel has never wanted to smite the man more. Use Sam as his vessel indeed. He should, see how Gabriel likes that. Maybe she’ll lift the restrictions on vessels of course he’d have to be honest. She’ll want him to be honest. And in truth he can’t help but wonder what this Sam is like. A Sam that adores him and hates his little sister. No, that would be too infuriatingly creepy. Screw it. Where’s Nick? He’d love to be able to use… no, he can’t do that. He killed Gabriel when he was wearing Nick, that’s probably distress her as much if not more than if he actually wore Sam. 

       He wonders for a moment what else is different. Who’s alive or dead or hated or loved that wasn’t in his thread. Immediately his thoughts turn to a special someone that he was sure he’d moved past. Especially since she likely didn’t want anything to do with him in his thread anyways, even if she was alive. She might not even exist here, or be a she. It doesn’t hurt to go see, at least.

 

        “Ow.” Gabriel groans as she opens her eyes. Is she really that drained? To sleep? If so why did she have to wake up?”

        “Shh.” She hears as hands run over her back,  soothing the raw severed grace underneath the flesh, taking the pain away. 

         “Raph,you are the best. I will never prank you again, well not for a month at least,”She sighs, relaxing, then opens her eyes as she realizes her outer layer of clothing is gone and the under layer is damp all around as is the sheets underneath him, like someone had poured water over her.. What’s more she has a right leg and right foot where none once was. “Awww, you healed it. I told you a million friggin times not to... forget it.” She grabs the nearest pillow, remembering this isn’t her Raphael. “Please tell me you didn’t do anything but heal me.”        

          “Of course not.” He sounds annoyed. “You’re not my wife.”

          “Oh so you finally believe me.”

          “My wife would never call to Michael for aid if her life,my life or the existence of the entire universe depended on it.  But a Gabriel who would name her daughter after her might. I’m sorry i didn’t believe you.”

          “It’s okay.”

          “Your vessel was damaged and overheated from Michael attack. It was easier to cool you normally while I addressed the wing damage.” He tries to explain.

          “It’s fine, just… when Luci… Helel comes back it’s not your Helel it’s mine and he prefers Luci now. Short for Lucifer but not Lucifer. It’s kind of an identity crisis thing.” Gabriel explains.

          “Tell me, did your Helel ever torture and imprison me?” Raphael asks cooly.

          “No. Of course not. He just ignored you for most of existence. But you two have actually kind of gotten to be actual brothers now so.. it’s kind of nice actually. He never really appreciated you. None of us did, I guess, but he was worse.”

            “A thread of existence where Helel and I don’t hate each other is even more unbelievable than one where you and Michael don’t.” Comes the dry reply, followed by a snap that gives her something light and cool to wear. “I’m sorry I can’t do more.”

            “Michael’s good at breaking things.“ Gabriel shrugs and regrets the motion.

            “So where you’re from, what are you and I to each other?”

            “Serious older brother, playful little sister. We love each other of course, and annoy the hell out of each other at the same time. We need each other more than we like to admit, but I can’t imagine being anything more than that. It’s just… kind of gross to think about.”

             “So I gathered.” He actually sounds amused.

             “How the hell did that happen anyway?”

             “I don’t know, it just did… she was in so much pain from the mark, I gave everything I had to make it better. To seal away the pain, and eventually I did but it never lasted. The first time lasted three entire Days. But I could be there beside her soothing every hurt, diverting and distracting as best I can. But as creation came nearer to the enc I was busier and busier and she was just starting to act out more and more. Playing meaner pranks, doing crueler, more dangerous things.

             “She was actually kind of excited when humanity was made. She would come with me whenever I had to go see Eve. Eve was very accident prone. And she’s play at first, but then the jokes, pranks and games got dangerous and we had to tell her to stay out of the garden because Adam and Eve were upset and starting to get afraid of her. Michael, of course, was very heavy handed with her, as always regardless of how it just always made things worse and actually ordered her confined to her room, with no visitors allowed, meaning me. At that point Helel, who constantly spoiled and defended her, regardless of how little that helped either, gave in and agreed that something had to be done. 

             “But confinement wasn’t good for her, it drove her absolutely frantic and I went to Michael but she just said that maybe she’d finally learn to behave then. So I swallowed my pride and went to Helel and pleaded with him to find another punishment or at least let me off my duties and convince Michael to let me stay with her. I was sure she was starting to have an episode again and if I could be with her, soothe her, comfort her, take the pain away, it would help. I foolishly thought that since he loved her, that he’d listen to me, for her sake, you know. But of course not, since I was the one talking. Since I was implying that I knew something he didn’t. Maybe he thought that it would finally push her to agree to give him the mark.

               “Of course when he went to try and ‘reason’ with her, she had snuck out.  We searched all of heaven for her. And then Adam and Eve had been tricked into taking a bite of quince. Well, not tricked, she was pranking them and teased that if they were only smarter, they wouldn’t keep falling for it, but since they could only get that smart by eating the fruit of knowledge, maybe they should devour a sense of humor instead. 

                “That would have been bad enough, and Helel would have plead her case, as always, at least against the charge of corrupting humanity, but Bree panicked and killed Amitiel to avoid being caught lying. Not that our father wouldn’t have known, but we didn’t expect him to relieve Michael and Helel of the burden of disciplining her yet again. When Helel found out about Amitiel, he was so shocked that he didn’t even say a word in her defense. I tried but there was nothing I could think of that would excuse her at all. Even slightly.  All I could do was beg for leniency. It was the first and only time Helel and I were ever on the same side of anything. 

                “But it was to no avail, Michael cast her from heaven. I knew she was breaking, I knew that she couldn’t take it on her own, that the worse it got, the worse she would get. No one seemed to understand that but me. No one could help her but me. So when I was forced to stand there and watch as our Sister threw her to the earth, Something in me broke and I dove after her, catching her and breaking her fall. I can be very fast for short periods of time, you know.”

               “I know.” Gabriel says softly, giving her brother a smile. “One of the reasons you were only  

               “From then on, we only ever really had each other. Sure Helel made sue she stayed fixated on him, seeing her now whenever he can without ever offering real help.  All he cared about was getting the mark back, redeeming his own cowardice.  But she doesn’t really…” Raphael looks down. “Okay, maybe she doesn’t love me like she loves him. Maybe she doesn’t love me at all, really. Everything’s become just a toy. For all I know I’m just another possession, but she needs me at least.”

                “Raph, I highly doubt mirror-me would marry you if she didn’t love you.” Gabriel can’t help but try to comfort him. “Sleep with you maybe, but marriage? No, that’s just... that’s a lot of responsibility, and a hell of a promise. I know when Sam and i got married it was terrifying. Plus it took forever to work out the prenup.” She slowly moves her right leg. It feels so odd having it back. 

                “Sam?” Raphael frowns at her. “As in Samuel Winchester?”

                “Ha, yeah.” She sheepishly grins. “Nobody was really happy about that. But you were the best about it. You supported me, my relationship, even against Michael, which was huge given what a huge momma’s boy my Raphael is, and you even agreed to be one of my bridesmaids. Michael gave me away. Luci was dead at the time so that was one minefield we didn’t have to deal with. Of course he found out when I accidentally got pregnant with Shelly. So he got to find out that not only was I married to his vessel but pregnant with his child at the same time. He kind of freaked out.” Much to her surprise Raphael starts laughing.

                “I’ll bet he did. So, this is you, not corrupted at all.” He looks at her whistfully.

                “Well, not by the mark. I was always a lot of trouble, though. Did I accidentally shellac your wings in this thread?” She glances over at him.      

                “No, you never pranked me at all after you got the mark.” It sounds almost as if Raphael can’t decide whether he’s relieved or disappointed by that. “You did frequently jest with Helel and played pranks on him and a few on Michael when you were especially mad at her.”

                “How did I get the nerve to do that? The last prank I played on Luci in heaven, he bound me wing and limb, threw me in the ocean and stood on me while I washed off the coral dust.”

                 “Really? Helel spoiled you to death. He let you get away with absolutely everything. Mostly out of guilt I suppose.”

                 “Yeah, he did in my thread, too. Mostly out of a need to pick fights with Michael. And boy did they fight, all the time. Not just about that, but…” Gabriel sighs. “It was awful. I tried to be good, but…”

                  “They always argue a lot here, too. But you know these two are absolutely inseperable. Nobody comes before the other one does, ever.”

                  “No, I mean fight like knock down drag out fight. They were constantly wrecking the garden and our rooms, or the training hall. It was unbearable. When Luci fell and the war began, I couldn’t take it anymore.” Gabriel confesses. Maybe it’ll make him feel better, like less of a failure, if she lets him know that she was never the angel she should have been.

                    “War?”

                    “Full out civil war. It leasted the entire eighth Day. A third of the host left with him and I… I just left. I couldn’t fight my brothers, I couldn’t watch them kill each other. I couldn’t… even now I’ve only killed one angel, and i was human at the time so I didn’t have any other options.”

                    “I don’t think I could have taken that either. Sheol is bad enough. Did i go with you?”

                    “No. You stayed with Michael. I told you that you were a momma’s boy.  You two were as close as Helel and I ever were. But still he was wrong and I knew it, but still couldn’t bring myself to side against him them. I just ran away and hid among the pagan gods. Just said to hell with rules and restrictions and just… lived it up as best I could. I killed gods, nephilim, monsters and even men at times. i broke every commandment there was, to be honest, but I did care about humanity. Most of the time when I played my tricks on them they were to try and teach them to be better, or punish the ones who aren’t. And, I suppose I was angry at them for not being better than they were, for not being better than Helel said they were. For not being worth my family falling apart.”

                 “Well, it seems you’re still very much you.” Raphael gives a soft smile. “I just let you leave all on your own?”

                 “I didn’t exactly give you an option. I didn’t think it mattered. I was nothing but trouble anyways and you know I’m not vulnerable to much beside you three. Leviathan maybe, our blades. Is there an apocalypse predicted here? No? There was in my thread.   Sam and Dean were supposed to be Michael and Luci’s vessels and Michael and Lucifer were going to fight to the death.”

                  “I can’t believe they ever would. And wouldn’t that destroy half the earth? There’s no way, Michael or Helel would do that and hurt humanity.”

                   “Ha! Well, they would and almost did. Michael was all sorts of fucked up at losing Luci and maybe having to kill him. He didn’t think he had another choice. And Luci had an all out tantrum when Dad told us to serve humanity and love them. Like a complete jealous rage and dedicated his existence to destroying and corrupting them. Trying to prove they were as bad and worthless as he thought, that they didn’t deserve to be loved by anyone much less by Dad.” 

                   “That sounds like him, actually. Facing the darkness wasn’t the only time he hesitated.”

                   “What about me? Do I hate humanity? Am I jealous of them?”

                   “You? No, you love humanity. They’re fun toys. You just don’t care what or who you hurt or break so long as you enjoy yourself. You save your hatred for Michael. i can say that you don’t enjoy inflicting pain on others for the sake of pain, but if it’s part of a joke or absurdity, you just don’t care. Even when you get mean, it’s not because you really hate them or are angry at them as a whole, you’re just… so desperate to feel good that you do anything. If you hate anyone it’s because of who they are, not what they are.”

                   “Oh, I see.” 

                   “So Lucifer won? Since yours is still alive. Or did you say he died. I’m confused.”

                   “Pfft. No. I tried to stop him and save humanity, before that could happen. He killed me of course. Luckily I’d left Sam and Dean a video will telling them how to put him back in the cage. Of course, Michael ended up getting pulled in too. It was all a big mess. Alot of stuff happened, but things as they are… they were turning out okay. Now the biggest crisis is getting a caterer for Miqa and Luci’s wedding.” Gabriel rolls her eeys. “Well, at least it was before this.”

                    “Their what? Oh, Bree is not going to be happy about that.” Raphael shakes his head, his brows furrowing in concern. “I hope she’s alright. i thought she was starting to break again. Honestly if I thought it had a chance of working I never would have gotten her that stupid mirror. Maybe the other me could help her. Would he?”

                     “I don’t know, does it involve sleeping with me? Because if so, no. He has a lover and a child on the way,too. Oh damn if I miss the birth of his daughter he’s going to kill me. Though it’s not like he was there for mine. And It’s not exactly my fault anymore than it was his fault.” She covers her face and plops back on the bed, forgetting about her injured grace until the impact makes her swallow curses.

                     “The Alex, you mentioned?” Raphael helps her back up and rubs the aching space until the pain goes away again. 

                     “Yeah, Alex Jones. she’s great. I should look her up before I go. If not I’ll definitely have to introduce you two.” She sighs and slowly gets to her feet. “Holy.. f…” She catches herself on the bed as she falls over. “I’m not used to having two legs. You’ll have to forgive me.”

                     “I don’t mind teaching you to walk again.” Raphael walks over to stand before her and holds out his hand.

                     “Thanks.” She takes it. “The other me.. she wouldn’t hurt other you, would she? She doesn’t hurt you, does she?”

                     “Not usually. Sometimes towards the end of the episode when she’s really bad, but it’s only because I won’t defend myself and just let her get through the outburst. Anyways, she always apologies and does her best to make up for it when she’s better.” He explains. “I’m sure if she thought it would really hurt me, she wouldn’t.

                    “You know that’s not okay.” Gabriel can’t help but say quietly. “You don’t deserve to be treated that way. She has no right to hurt someone who loves her any amount for any reason.”

                    “It’s alright. I love her; I can take it.” Raphael smiles at her. “And I don’t know if she would hurt the other me, seriously hurt him. I doubt your Raphael would let you use him as a punching bag.”

                    “No, he does not.” She grins. “You beat the crap out of me when we fight.” 

                    “You should have that Alex say something to him about that.” Raphael’s eyes darken. “You are his little sister, he should be protecting you and keeping you safe not fighting with you.” 

                     “Yeah, say that after a few of my pranks. I once sold you to an african river god for his bride for all of one goat.” Much to her surprise Raphael starts laughing at this again. “Okay. And what about the time I embarrassed you in front of your future lover who you were guarding in the hospital by changing all the previews on the movies to hardcore religious gay porn.”  He just laughs harder. “Well, damn, if it weren’t for your whole incest fetish, I’d almost want to keep you.”

                     “If it weren’t for the fact that my real sister is alone and in pain, I think I’d want to keep you, too.”The smile he gives her makes her incredibly uncomfortable. “You’re so much more rational, responsible, and sensible.”

                     “I never expected to hear you utter those words.” Gabriel grins. “You’re usually telling me to stop all my nonsense and act like a sensible angel.”

                     “I guarantee that after meeting my Bree he’ll never say that to you again. Or at least not mean it. But as for him, I have no idea what she’ll do or how she’ll react. When she’s desperate she’s unpredictable. If he can help her, he’ll be fine, I\m sure. But if he rebuffs her… she gets very jealous. She’s very insecure you see, she’s never thought she was good enough, pretty enough, loveable enough. She keeps comparing herself to Helel, and yet can’t see what an utter bastard he really is.” Raphael gives a small step backwards. “C’mon, baby steps.” It feels so strange having her grace but not her wings. She didn’t expect to feel so weak without them. It’s like she’s less than half an angel.

                     “Jealousy’s not love, you know. If she really loved and trusted you, she wouldn’t be jealous.” Gabriel insists. “I don’t think this relationship is good for you, Raph. I really don’t. no matter who it was I wouldn’t.”

                     “I know. It’s very sweet of you to worry about me, but I have to do this. No one else can.” He insists, trying to sooth her. 

                     “What the hell!” Gabriel can’t help but exclaim as Luci arrives in the room. “Are you.. is that… She’s a vessel?”

                     “Yeah, actually. Nice, huh?” He grins.

                     “What about someone who’d die naturally before the time you’d be done with them? Or the vessel that can actually be your vessel without dying, Sam?”

                     “You’d want me to use your husband as a vessel?”

                     “No! But this isn’t my husband and it’d be nice to have an extra reminder of that.” She blushes.

                     “Oh,”  Luci considers. “Well, I don’t want to use something you’ve have sex with, that’s just nasty.”

                     “He’s not a damn meal that I claimed by licking my hands and touching it, Luc, and what… You know don’t change the subject. How can you do this to her?” Gabriel throws her hands up in the air. Raphael catches her before she can fall over again. And she thought Harahel was just exaggerating how off balance it makes you.

                    “I won’t use her long enough to do irreparable damage. I just need one long enough to see how you were doing with Mirror-Raph and it turns out I kind of miss her, so.. Besides I was hoping you could help me do that splitting thing you did with your old vessel. If I can manage to take it back with me, then, maybe I could bring her back too.”

                    “Luce, I have no idea how I did that. I…” Much to Raphael’s confusion Helel gives Gabriel a pleading little pout and a big soulful eyes. “Alright. Let me try to remember. Ask her permission and explain the risks. Let me talk to her too.”

                     “Thank you.” Luci kisses her cheek.

                     “What the hell?” Raphael steps back looking at them oddly.

                     “I’m kind of his probation officer. It’s a long story. Do you think you can help me out a little with this if she agrees? There’s only one soul in there, right?” Gabriel turns back to Luci.

                      “There is now. I made sure her brother got it back.” Luci stretches his arms out. “She’d have tried for that alone honestly. But if I didn’t think it’d work, I wouldn’t be asking. Thank you for helping my favorite song, even though she’s not yours.” Luci pat’s Raphael’s head. The angel just looks at him a moment, both confused and offended by the gesture.

                     Not only did this Helel not lay into him for being unable to restore Gabriel’s wings, but he thanked his little brother. What’s more he can feel from his brother’s touch a genuine gratitude and affection that shakes and angers him more than Helel’s hatred ever could. 

                    “Will you give us a hand?” Gabriel repeats, both of them, standing arm in arm, giving him an adorable smile.

                    “I don’t know what you’re talking about and I absolutely will not do anything for any Helel Ben Sahar that ever existed.” The furious angel snaps and storms out of the room.

                   “It seems you’re just as big an asshole to him here as you were back home. If not more.” Gabriel sighs, resting her head against Helel’s arm.

                   “I guess so.”

                   “So, you really miss Denny, huh?” She smiles up at him.

                   “Yes,but I will deny it if you ever say so again. Officially it’s because I owe her. She helped me save Raphael and doesn’t deserve Hell because of that so this’ll give her some more time on earth at least.”

                    “Talk to her. Then let me talk to her, okay and we’ll try it. Maybe.” Gabriel test out her right leg again. “He fixed my legs. Couldn’t give me back my wings, but he gave me a leg I neither wanted nor needed.” she scowls at it.

                      “Don’t be a brat.” Luci raps her head. “No sensible being would choose to remain missing a limb, much less solely for the entertainment value of ripping it off in combat to use as a club on an unaware opponent. So of course he would fix it given the chance.”

                    “Oh, please, in what thread of existence could I possibly be a sensible being?” She scoffs. Before he can reply, the ground shudders beneath them and a feeling like they haven’t felt in a long time creeps back into the material plain. Below that in a dissonance ripping through the ether, Gabriel can hear her own anguished scream.


	27. A Matter of Life or Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire and Raphael save their siblings.

       For some reason the bed feels softer and warmer than it did when he lay down. And someone’s made something that makes him feel as if he’s going to die if he doesn’t have some. Helel opens his eyes and sees a tray of large warm frosted cinnamon buns on a plate set on a table next to the bed. Helel sets his jaw and shoves the table over. Only when it falls does it occur to him that maybe Sam or the adorable little crime against heaven might have put it out for him.

       He sits up and looks around hoping Helel didn’t see that. But the room is not only empty, but it isn’t his room. An oddly lovely room in truth it’s all mirrors and crystals and waterfalls. The worst thing about it is seeing his own reflection. 

       “That was rude.” The nightingale tsks, as she appears standing over the broken plate and cinnamon rolls. “You do know you’re starving to death right?”

       “What do you want? What am I?”

       “You’re with me and i just want you to love me as much as I love you that’s all. But I know that’s never going to happen. Wherever you are, you will always love Michael more.”The forlorn tone in her voice makes his heart ache.

        “I’m not exactly pleased with you right now, but you know I love you. You’re my favorite song.” Helel reaches out a hand that’s ignored. “All I ever wanted to do was take away your pain and protect you.”

        “You never did though. Because I wouldn’t do it your way. Raphael did with everything he had. I should love him the most, but I can’t get you out of my heart even slightly. I don’t think you’ll ever give me anything but longing and pain.” Bree gives a desolate sigh, reaching out to take the offered hand. “I have to face that I suppose.”

        “I’m sorry, Bree. I know I’m not how you wish I was.” Helel squeezes her hand. “I’ve failed you in every way. You deserved better.”

        “Would you at least try? Just try to love me like he does? You don’t know, you can’t know.” Bree kneels on the edge of the bed suddenly, wrapping her arms desperately around his neck. “You don’t know how wonderful it is to love someone.”

         “I don’t want that, Gabriel. I don’t want a lover. I want my sister. the one who sang to me in the throne room, who made me laugh by playing wing frozen in anger like windchimes. I miss the little angel who used to smile at me just because I was me and I was there and asked for nothing but my laughter in return. But that’s it. I don’t want you as anything else. But I don’t want anyone else as you, Gabriel.  Never.” Helel presses his cheek against hers. “I wish beyond everything there is that I hadn’t hesitated, that I hadn’t given you the chance.”

          “Honestly. I just kind of wish Michael had taken it instead of me.” Bree straightens up and puts a hand on her arm, covering the mark. “I’d never wish this kind of pain on you. I won’t let you suffer this way. I won’t let you die a slow and painful death, I promise. I love you, Helel Ben Sahar, though i sometimes wish I didn’t.”

 

          “You should reconsider your current position.” Crowley advises sympathetically. “Right now you’re fighting for your life. It’s down to you and your brother. And I’d much rather have you survive than any version of Lucifer.”

          “If she’s planning something that pits us against each other, then I doubt I’ll win. Helel is better than me in every single way that could matter in this sort of situation.” Raphael gets off the bed, putting his feet down on the grassy floor. The cavern is so lush. It’s beyond beautiful and in truth as a romantic gesture from anyone but his little sister, it would be touching at the very least. Even so it’s still sweet and somewhat thoughtful, part of the sister he knows.

           “This is a battle for her heart. And i think we both know that Lucifer does not know how to love.”

            “I’m not seducing my little sister.” He snaps. “What is she planning?”

            “I can’t tell you that. It’s more than my life is worth.”

            “Your life is worth very little, Demon. And every second I am not at my wife and daughter’s side, it’s worth even less.” Raphael walks over to the pool of water, picking a few herbs along the way.

             “Congratulations, I hadn’t heard about the wedding. And congratulations on the little celestial bundle of joy as well.” Raphael just gives him a dark look, not correcting his assumptions. Not only does he not feel like informing a demon that his child is a vulnerable human, but Alex has not agreed to an actual marriage yet.

              “If you had anything to do with that curse…” He picks up a sharp edged rock from the base of the wall and clenches it in his fist along with the fragrant herbs he’d plucked around the way.

               “I should hope I have a stronger sense of self preservation than that. This angel is impulsive, reckless, utterly unpredicatable. I don’t even think she knows what she’s going to do next. She needs a stabalizing influence. Is a little seduction really too great of a price to pay to tame the junior devil here? After all it worked for her brother apparently.”

                “No,it didn’t.” Raphael replies cooly. “I told you I am not seducing my sister.” He picks up a small container of bath salts by the shampoo and opens the lid. Half of it gets poured out and the crushed herbs as well as a few drops of his blood get put in.

               “Maybe if you let her try to seduce or say win you over romantically, it will keep her occupied long enough for us to come up with a plan. Now, I believe she is getting or has gotten the replacement Lucifer. So you’re not going to have much time to get your head together. What are you doing? You must know there’s nothing in here that can be of any real use to you.” Raphael doesn’t reply, he just screws the lid back on and shakes it up. The bottle starts to glow, so he sets it at the foot of the bed and walks back behind the headboard. “If you needed a lamp you could have just said so.”

               “Coazior.” Raphael says simply. The bottle explodes in a burst of light. Honestly he and Helel had been working on ways to defend against the supernatural with spells that require neither grace or a soul or a death. He had to after Purgatory, if only to help his brother resist the temptation to just steal pieces of other souls to do it. Raphael walks out of the room, the vines that cover and constrict everything in sight  of the blast ignore him and focus on the startled constricted demon.

                “So you’re saying that Gabriel and Lucifer have been replaced by their counterparts from some sort of mirror verse?” Dean leans against the kitchen island.

                “Yes.” Sam feels a bit uncomfortable. “We didn’t notice either.”

                “Well, not your fault, they’re girls so, no goatee.” Dean shrugs. Michael just gives him an odd look, and turns to Cas who shakes his head. “Anyways she’s not exactly that different.” 

                 “No, not really. Lucifer sure is though, and isn’t.” Sam rubs his daughter’s back as she moves a little in her sleep. 

                 “Oh, shit, you slept with Gabriel, didn’t you?” Dean suddenly realizes. “She’s going to be pissed.”

                 “No, actually that’s covered in our prenup under both the mistaken identity and selves from alternate universe clauses.” Sam explains. All three of them just stare at him for this one. “It’s very, very comprehensive.”

                 “I didn’t mean pissed at you. Or can two selves from an alternate universe not meet or something?”

                 “I don’t know. It’s not something that’s ever been discussed.” Michael frowns, trying to think. “Best not to risk it. We’ll simply attempt to switch them back the same way they were switched.”

                 “I much as I hate to say it, I kind of miss the old Gabriel.” Dad confesses. “But this is a good Lucifer, right? Sure we can’t keep him?” Michael just glares at him for this..

                 “I’ll go wake him and we can see what we can do about all of this.” Michael heads to the bedroom. When he opens the door, thousands of little devil themed rubber ducks pour out around him. Of course, each of them are warded with tiny angel traps on the bottom and cling to him in an increasing pile.  “Castiel, go to the hospital and get Raphael if you please.” He requests through clenched teeth. Cas disappears without a word. 

                “Excuse me.” Claire hears as she walks back up the hospital hallways.” Have you seen my brother, Raphael? Mrs. Jones. He was supposed to be here.”

                “No, I’m very sorry. I haven’t seen him today but I just came on an hour ago.”

                “Castiel, S’up.” She walks up to the familiar trench coated angel.

                “Claire, have you seen Raphael?”

                “No, he’s avoiding me. Hey, I wanted to ask you,” She takes his arm and leads him into the hospital room, “Did something happen with Bree and Sam? She’s in hell of a mood, picked a fight or something. She actually told Thor she slept with his wife both of which I know are not true.”

                “It’s not Gabriel, it’s a Gabriel from a mirror verse. Lucifer has also be switched. I’m very confused about all of this, but we currently need Raphael because Lucifer is missing and Michael is enslaved by a large amount of rubber ducks.”

                 “You mean like the one stuck to your back?” Claire pulls at it, but it pulls Castiel along with it.

                 “Small angel traps on the bottom.” 

                 “There… there are angel traps?” Claire’s eyes widen. 

                 “Yes, but they’re only usable by archangels.”

                 “Hold on.” Claire takes out a knife and slices into the base of the duck, cutting a piece out of the trap underneath. “I don’t know where Raphael is, but just do this I guess. Or melt them? I don’t know. It’s plastic and Michael fine with heat, so blowtorch?”

                  “I’ll inform Dean at the option and search for Raphael.” The angel nods solemnly. “You should be on your guard. This Gabriel, she bears the mark.”

                   “Well, shit.” Claire grimaces and puts a hand to her mouth. “Do you think he knew about the abyss?”

                   “It’s unlikely.”

                   “That’s good. Have Sam and Shelly hide in there to keep them sage during this.   The abyss will protect them I know. And Castiel? I don’t know if I ever thanked you for looking out for me. You and Dean. I was a brat I know. It wasn’t your fault. And.. you two have always been there for me. Even when I didn’t want you to be. So thanks and I love you and You’re a great dad. Both of you are.” Claire hugs him. “When you see Dean give him a kiss for me.”

                   “I will. Is everything alright?”

                   “I’m just… worried about Alex and the baby, that’s all. I’m going to stay with her until you find Raphael. Hey, when you free Michael, could you ask him to come see me? I need him to do something for Alex.”

                    “Of course. You could just pray to him.”

                    “With an evil Bree around? No thanks. You know she can eavesdrop on absolutely any prayers or angelic communication right? It’s part of how she evaded heaven so long, So I’d stick to texts and stuff for now.”

                    “I hadn’t realized she could do that.” Castiel frowns.” I will be certain to relay the message. And Claire?”

                   “Yes?”

                   “You are a wonderful daughter. Even when you don’t wish to be. Dean and I also love you very much as well. Alex and her daugher will be fun. I promise you, we will not let them come to harm.”

                    “I know.” Claire kisses his cheek. “See ya, Castiel.”

                    “I will see you.” He pats her head and blips out. 

                    “Is he gone?” Yuri peers into the room.

                    “Yeah, thank you for doing this.” She pulls the chair out next to Alex’s bed.

                    “I’m doing it for the truth, that’s all.” The world snake thumps down on the pull out couch. “Alright, toss me the feathers, and mom, do your thing.”Claire tosses him the bundle of Raphael’s feathers. He starts fanning himself with them.

                    “There’s no one for her to possess.” Claire frowns at him.

                    “This sort of thing is easier for spirits. Don’t forget to put your arm next to her cursed one. But are you really sure you want to do this?” He asks, as he kind of feels he has to at least for his sister’s sake.

                    “Yeah, just remember what you promised, okay?”

                    “Of course. What kind of drittsekk oathbreaker do you think I am?” Yuri snaps.

                    “You really want to know what I think of you Yuri? Well, why the hell not it’s my last chance to say it. I think you’re an ungrateful, social climbing, spoiled brat. Bree loved you from the first moment, knowing you weren’t hers. She raised you, protected you, taught you everything you know. And yet you blame her for everything wrong in your life. For the Aesir being assholes to you. For your grandfather’s prediction of Ragnarok. For your mother’s death.

                     “But the truth is, if it weren’t for her you wouldn’t have ever been allowed in their presence. They’d have killed you as soon as they saw you as a threat. They didn’t look down on you because of Bree,they looked down on you because of your mother. Because they’re racist assholes worshiped into existence by humanity for the sole purpose of killing you and your relatives because of the ones who kept attacking them. 

                     “You don’t understand anything at all. And what’s more you do everything you can to suck up to the actual reasons for your torment. The worst thing is you’re not even actually that bad of a person, you’re just stupid and pathetic when it comes to your family.” Claire takes a breath. “Wow, that actually felt kind of nice, your turn.” She waves her free hand to him.

                     “Actually, Claire, if you want the honest truth. I kind of like you.” Yuri confesses looking down at the feathers. “You’re actually pretty good together with my sister. She’s happy with you and also free and that’s not a small thing. She’ll never forgive me for this if… I don’t know. Maybe she will but I understand why you’re doing this. So will she given time.”

                      “Wow,” She gives an impressed breath. “You called me Claire. I thought for sure I’d be nameless til the day I died.” Claire grins.

                      “Well, yeah.” Yuri grins. Claire laughs and slumps down in the chair, her hand letting go of Alex’s. He gets to his feet and walks over to them, pausing to give Claire a kiss on the forehead. “Congratulations, Abigail.” He turns to the bassinet and brushes the feathers over her little face. “You are the chosen one. Make your auntie, proud, okay?” The infant starts to fuss a little, upset by waking up somewhere other than her parents arms. The feeding tube probably doesn’t help either any. 

                     As Alex starts to stir herself, Yuri picks up Claire’s body and his mother’s jar, taking them both to Helheim, leaving only a pile of envelopes behind on the tray table.

 

             Raphael slowly makes his way down the corridor. There was only enough in these halls for two spells. One of complete concealment for a few minutes and a healing spell.  Not a great healing spell either, one that just transfers injury from the subject to the caster, and that one’s iffy at best.

             “Well, there’s no more golden calf but the tower of babel should do just as well, right? It just says made by men forbidden by god, not more specific. Oh, some hair. Though I should probably use a feather since it’s not technically my hair.”

              “You can’t monkey around with spells like that.”

              “Psh, sure you can. I do it all the time.” She reaches back into the ether and pulls out a golden feather.

             “You can’t kill him twice you know.” Rowena reminds her. “You won’t get a second chance to remove the mark.”

             “I know. Alright. Let me get him.” A snap of the fingers makes Raphael’s heart skip a beat, despite himself. As nothing happens apparently he wasn’t the ‘him’ she was talking about. “Hello, nii-san. I’ve decided to take you up on your offer to rid me of the mark. Just a little differently than you intended.”

              Removing the mark. What will that do? It’s the key to a cage in a different thread of reality entirely. If it’s even still locking it that means at best removing it will unleash the darkness in that thread, where Luci and his Gabriel are right now. What’s more if this Helel is killed they may not be able to get theirs back, so he casts the concealment spell and slowly moves in. Helel is bound with chains to a post, standing upright by the table. 

              “Ab manu dei,” Bree throws a piece of quince into the bowl.  “Ab manu hominis,” She plunks a weathered brick in the bowl. 

              “Please don’t do this.” Helel pleads as Rowena slowly backs out of the room,  “Give me the mark. I’ll protect you from Michael, I swear it.”

              “I’m sorry.” Bree embraces him and snaps the chains away. “Helel, can you ever forgive me?”

               “Of course.” Helel soothes her, stroking her hair affectionately. “It’s not your fault. I love you, paseh.”

               “I love you.” Bree looks into his eyes, the ice blue eyes that are the only thing left of his great beauty. “More than anything in the world. Ab cruore cordis.” She whispers and slides the blade between Helel’s ribs. Raphael barely reaches them in time to press the spell into the wound and whisper the incantation before the angel breathes his last. Blood drips from Raphael’s hand into the bowl pressed to catch Helel’s blood as Bree lets the feather drop in. “Tolle meledictionem tuam, ab hoc viro.”

                The resulting explosion knocks them all back, Bree is struck by redish blue spark and the mark fades away. She laughs in glee and revels in it’s absence, the spark hovers above her illuminating the room as if looking for something. Helel slowly pushes himself up, looking down at the unfamiliar man beside her. Bree turns pale as she sees him, and sprints over, checking for a pulse she can’t hear and a breath she can’t see. Blood is pooling on the ground. Though the spark vanishes with a thunderous sound that rends the fabric of existence, her scream is somehow louder. 


	28. The Calm Before the Storm.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael sends Alex to safety and goes to find the nightingale

                 Alex holds Abigali close, calming her as she wails. Neither of them enjoyed waking to find themselves with feeding tubes, or their removal, but given it’s the most terrible thing to happen to the baby so far, she can understand her distress.

                “Alex.” Michael appears, though it’s Raphael she’s been praying to. It was odd that he wasn’t there. “You’re alright. Both of you.” He sounds surprised which is a bit troubling.

                “Um,” She looks down. “Where’s Raphael?”

                “I don’t know. He should be here. He refused to leave the two of you… shhh… Abigail.” He looks down at the wailing child and strokes the bridge of her nose. “Shhh… Shhh...” She quiets down to a whimper and starts to turn to Alex’s breast.

                “Thanks.” She sighs. “You don’t mind, do you?” 

                “Of course not.” Michael turns away to give her a little privacy. “Where’s Claire? She told Castiel to ask me to meet her here. There was something she wished me to do to help you, but you seem to be just fine now.”

                “What happened? The nurse said that we both just slipped into comas for no discernable reason.”

                “A curse of some sort. We were looking for a way to identify and break it but it seems someone already has. I’m grateful but also confused. Neither do I understand what would make Raphael leave you without a word to anyone. Especially given the current situation.” Michael gets a worried frown.

               “What current situation?” Alex listens and Michael informs her about the switched Gabriels and all the delightful complications. Including the theory that the nightingale cursed the two of them in a fit of jealousy. “Oh, my god.” She holds her daughter a bit more tightly. Abigail gives a little grunt of protests and stops nursing. “You don’t think he went to try and reason with her do you?”

               “I hope not. I can’t imagine he’d be anymore successful with this one than our own.” Michael tightens his lips. “Alex, we’ve taken Sam and Shelly to the abyss for safety. I’d like to take you and Abigail as well. We don’t think she knows about it and since our Gabriel is the one responsible for its creation, we can be sure it won’t let anything happen to any of you, even if she does find it. I’ll take you right away and…” Michael pauses, lifting his head as a sudden burst of wind shrieks through the earth, and he recognizes the scream he hasn’t heard since they watched their brother bind the darkness and freeze in pain until he collapsed, shattering around the edges. Not ever her own death drew such a sound from Gabriel. Complete and utter pain, greif and heartbreak. But underneath this scream, rage.

                “What was that?”

                “I’m taking you now.” He turns, placing a hand on her shoulder and takes her to the abyss. “Go. I’ll find Raphael. But you have to keep yourself and your daughter safe. Tell the guardians of the garden that I am personally charging them with your protection. You,” He turns to the angels standing guard at the entrance, “If Gabriel appears, do not engage her, but call for me immediately. Do you understand?”

                “Okay.” She nods, and holding Abigail tightly, steps into the abyss.

                Michael speeds towards the origin of the sound. A desperate longing for him from Helel and an unconscious one from the nightingale, guide him to an old fortress in the hills shaken into near collapse by whatever event just occurred. Wards that would have kept him out, destroyed by the same.

                “He won’t come back! Why can’t I get him back!” Bree shreiks, holding Raphael’s still bleeding body to her. “No, no, no!  It wasn’t supposed to be you. I swear. Not you. It wasn’t.” Helel is backed against the wall just staring silently at the two. At his ribs is a bloody patch of crushed herbs and minerals stuck to his shirt over an even tear the width of a small blade. The most confusing part of this is that he’s dead and yet there are not scorch marks.

                “Ressurrections not as easy as it used to be.” Michael lands between Helel and the other two. “Helel, are you alright?”

                “Yes.” The bewildered angel replies. “He… he saved me.”

                “Of course he did. He’s your brother.” Michael feels a bit irritated at the disbelief in his voice. Bree doesn’t even seem to notice him. “Why is he human? Where’s his grace?”

                 “In the armory. Please… Please, Miqa bring him  back. You have to, please. I’ll do anything. I don’t care. Beat me, kill me, cripple me I don’t care. You have to fix this. can’t you fix this? You’re so strong you have… you have to..”She turns her teary eyes to him with an absolutely wild and desparate look to them beyond anything he’s ever seen. “Please… please… please…” She buries her face in Raphael’s chest just repeating the word until it becomes unintelligible sobbing. Michael’s not sure what to say. He can’t just pull him back into this vessel, but at the same time he doesn’t exactly feel like enlightening her as to the existence of the abyss. Raphael is not gone forever as she seems to think, but it’s entirely possible he won’t be able to be retrieved for years upon years this time. He hasn’t had his life stolen from him, but he may just have been deprived of his daughter’s childhood, and Abigail deprived of a father. 

                “Don’t hurt her!” Helel scrambles to his feet, grabbing Michael’s arm as he steps towards his sister. “Mitcha…” He just gives the angel a withering look and gently removes Helel’s hand from his arm.

               “Go find the armory.” He instructs him quietly. “Now.” Helel nods and slowly walks out of the room too stunned and confused to argue. “Gabriel.” Michael kneels down beside the broken angel and carefully pries her away from the body, taking her in his arms and just holds her. “Shhh.” Michael shushes her, stroking her hair until she stops crying. Bree just sits there, silent and still, which is somehow more frightening. “You don’t have to be afraid of me, Gabriel. I’m not going to hurt you, or kill you.” He adds as she prays for a painless death, or at least a quick one. “I promise.”

               “Of course not.” She gives a bitter laugh, quickly lapsing back into motionless. “It’d be kinder now. I didn’t think anything could hurt worse than the mark. I was wrong. I was wrong; I thought Helel… he was the most important. I thought he was. I thought I loved him more than anything else in the world. I guess I tricked myself. I hate you more than I love Helel but not more than I love Raphael, and yet I still didn’t…”

               “Why do you hate me? What did I do to make you hate me that much?” Michael can’t help but ask, though he’s not sure he wants to know. What is his other self capable of? What has she done?

               “You hated me first.” the nightingale doesn’t say anything else resuming a painful silence.

               “I will do what I can for him but I can’t let you roam free.” Michael apologizes and takes her to the frozen moon Callisto. “This won’t hurt much, He puts his hands on her wrist and numbs them before searing the binding spell into her flesh, then gently, painlessly pinions each and every wing. “I’ll be back for you when I’m done.” Michael kisses her head, and returns to the castle. The nightingale just lays on the ground, embracing the numbing cold.

 

            Helel slowly wanders the halls, checking rooms. Why would Raphael save him? He must have known what Gabriel was trying to do. Of course, the useless brat would accidentally enable it instead of stop it. There’s a twinge of guilt as he thinks it though. He was certain that his brother would sooner see the world end then ever do anything for Helel, no matter what Raphael in what thread.

           It’s not even this thread that’s in danger, though. And even if by some miracle this Raphael and this Helel get along, he’s not his Helel. Why would he try to save him? Helel stops as he sees Bree’s lackey trying to tear himself free from some still growing vines in an overgrown room. What was his name?

          “You, McCloud.” He nods to the soul. “Where’s the armory?”

          “How does everyone know my bloody birth name and why do they insist on using it?” Crowley snaps, yanking at one curling around his head.

          “Don’t know, don’t care. Armory, before I call my big sister to come down and beat you into mulch.” Helel orders testily.

          “Go straight, first left, go to the end of the hall. it’s the big room with all the weapons and random objects that most certainly aren’t weapons.”

          “Thank you.” Helel continues on his way. He rubs his eyes as his head starts aching. Starving to death. It doesn’t matter. He refuses to give in to the hedonistic temptaions of the flesh. Being human has made him even weaker than he expected. After the initial rush of terror died down, everything just seems to swirl together. He might be tired. He hates being tired. If this is what it means to be human, then their father played a worse trick then Bree ever did.

            The door to the armory is already open and that redhaired witch from earlier is gathering a few books into her bag as well as a few jeweled daggers. A large glowing vial is encased in a thorny warded iron cage in the center. Raphael’s grace. Not that it would do Raphael any good right now.

           “Don’t even think about it.” He says cooly as Rowena pauses to look at it. 

           “You’re still alive I see.” She raises an eyebrow at him. “As tempting as that kind of power is, I’ve learned my lesson about getting on Michael’s bad side. Besides I’m fairly sure the nightingale placed some pretty nasty wards. But have at it. Unless poor mortal you is going to try and make me put everything else back as well.” Helel just steps aside and motions for her to pass. He’s in no condition to interfere with a witch. It doesn’t matter anyway. The damage has already been done. Should he get his own grace back any time soon, however… “Really?” She looks at him suspicously.

            “I have no quarrel with you.” Helel shrugs. She just raises an eyebrow at him and walks past keeping an eye on him the entire time. When she’s gone he enters the room aside from spellbooks and weapons the armory is full of rocks and feathers and leaves and shells. She would always dart down to earth and bring him peices that caught her eye. Every new thing she would collect and make pictures of for him to show him during the times she had to stay in the throne room with him. She always wanted to share everything wonderful she found, every new and joyous facet of creation. That much remained the same, though what she tried to give him lately was hardly so pure.

           He always thought she loved him more than anything and yet she was able to pierce his heart without real hesitation. She tried to kill him. His favorite song would rather live in a world without him then entrust her life and safety to him. Did she finally see him for what he was? Just an empty mirror reflecting back other’s own glory to them and being praised as if it were his own. Now, here he is, with it all taken away and just as he thought, even the one who loved him most had no more use for him.

           It doesn’t matter. Michael asked for Raphael’s grace, he’ll get his grace. As he expected the armory has plenty of salt and a few blessed ashes and dispelling herbs. Much to his dismay the case and pedestal start to fall apart. Apparently the wards were holding it all together. Helel rushes forwards to grab the grace and gets his hand around the vial just in time for a jagged piece of the cage to strike an exposed edge, shattering it in his hand. 

           As the grace escapes it brushes against his hand, tenderly healing the cuts before it dissipates into the air. That last gesture of innate kindness breaks the wall holding his despair in place and he just lays there on the rubble, crying for every thing he never knew he didn’t understand.

 

           Alex looks around the crossroads,not wanting to think why she might have been taken here instead of to where Sam and Shelly were. After all Michael said that the other Bree was married to the other Raphael. Which while intensely disturbing, means she loves him and would never hurt him, right? Doesn’t it? Or at least she’d never kill him.

                 Alex takes a breath and shoves down the rising panic. Abigail is sleeping and would be distressed by her mother’s distress. Besides, doesn’t it mean that if she’s here for him, she’s here so she can bring him back? So it’s just an inconvenience, maybe. Though she’d feel better if Abigail was somewhere else. With who though? No this place isn’t actually dangerous, and maybe she’ll need the infant here as well. At the very leastt,when she’s here, she’ll find out what needs to be done.

                 A stork flutters down on the brown and green path and lays out an empty sling that they use to transport the souls to pregnant women. Without a sound, it takes off again. Well, it will be helpful. She can’t carry Abby in her arms indefinitely. The little girl’s already starting to feel heavy. Abigail. Carry Abigail in her arms. She has to remember not to shorten it. She already looks almost as if she would prefer being called Abigail even if she is as cute as an Abby. Not that you can really tell something like that yet. She just resembles her father so much.

               And Abigail fits snugly in the sling nestled against her chest. Much better. Of course she’d have liked to be given something better to wear as well, but there’s no need to be greedy. The hospital gown does make nursing fairly easy, even if it’s not the most flattering thing to wear.

              That doesn’t matter. Getting to Raphael if he needs her is what matters. God only knows he’s seen her in worse shape than she is now. The stone path  turns to a soft damp soil beneath her feet and a lush garden start to appear. Flowers bloom and brighten, fruit plumps and branches stretch as she nears them. It feels like she’s walking for hours, though seeing as Abigail has neither needed to nurse or have her diaper changed,she doubts it’s been that long. She’s exhausted though, everything aches. Of course it does, she did just give birth less than a week ago.

             A bunch of vines and sapling start to grow in front of her as stone blocks almost completely covered in moss arise, forming to some sort of lounge. Since it’s on the path,if only just barely Alex sits down and leans back, allowing herself to rest. She did just give birth less than a week ago. It’s so soft and comforting that she falls asleep within seconds, her arms around her daughter held securely in the sling.

              In what seems no time at all, Abigail beings to fuss, waking her, she’s hungry. Both of them are in truth. As Alex starts to feed her, a few vines start to curl up over her lap. One is twisted around some large leaves forming a sort of basket filled with nuts and berries. The slender vine starts to feed them to her, much like Raphael did that first day after she gave birth. It seemed Abigail only wanted to eat right when Alex either had to eat or go to the bathroom.

              “Thanks honey.” Alex smiles and just relaxes. A brightness flashed through the sky like lightening but without any thunder and crashed down into an odd shiny moss covered boulder in the distance. Or is it a mountain. She’s not sure. But it’s at the end of the path so she gets to her feet again and keeps walking. Oddly enough, there are still no barriers or obstacles just beautiful fragrant landscaping.  “Raphael?” She calls reaching out to touch the glossy object in front of her. It cracks dissolving into dust, and the moss unfolds into six large wings with soft greenish feathers, stretching out as waking from a nap.

             Alex can’t help but feel excited. She hasn’t seen his angelic form yet or even a respresentation of it beyond the little ‘fledgling Raphael in an eeyore costume’ that Michael sketched for her. Here is the only place she can do it without being blinded. After all the abyss follows none of the normal rules, angels and humans interact at the same. Size,similar brightness, they can touch. And she desperately wants to run her fingers over those gorgeous wings. The few feathers in the first aid kit were so soft and plush, she could only imagine how wonderful an entire wing feels.

           “Hi.” She smiles as he folds his wings down around his shoulders like a loose cape and turns to face her. He freezes just staring at her and moves his wings to encircle her and their daughter.

            “Thank all that is you’re alright.” While his voice is so low, it’s still the same cadence and pronunciation. It’s still very much his voice, maybe more so than any other. “Father thank you.” She barely hears this one as he rests his forehead against hers. “I thought I was going to miss out on everything.”

            “What happened?” she puts a hand to his cheek, his skin like sand paper on a chiseled statue, rough against her skin as if he desperately needs a shave. “Rubble.” Raphael looks slightly offended at this. “No, it feels like stubble, but stone, so… rubble.” He rolls his eyes but otherwise lets it go. “You’re so handsome. Why didn’t you want me to see this?” Alex moves her hand up to run it through the deep black almost metallic curls, but he catches her hand and moves it away.

               “It’s sharp.” Raphael explains.

               “Oh. You’re hands are so soft though.” she runs her fingers over his. Like soft loamy soil, his skin is all just a rich vibrant brown, dark and light and firm and soft like the countours of the earth. Beautiful, warm, soothing.  “And your wings. Why the hell are you so shy?” She smacks his shoulder.

               “You’ve seen Michael’s form. I don’t really compare.” He hesitantly explains. “And you saw Helel’s in that ice sculpture. I don’t even come close to either of them.”

               “Well, no, you’re nothing like fire or ice. How could any of you four compare to any of the other three? What do you think, Abby? ...gail… Abigail.” She gives a sheepish smile.

               “Alex, you’re her mother, you can call her whatever you like.” Raphael smiles at her. “How did they save you?”

               “I don’t know. I-I thought you did, somehow.”

               “No, something’s going on. Alex, I want you and Abigail to stay in here for now. I’ll see about taking you to the garden with the fledglings. It’ll be safer here.” He looks down at the curious infant peering up at him from the sling with her big solemn eyes and can’t help but smile at her. 

                “I know, that’s actually why I’m here. But it brought us here instead.” She explains. “What happened? Did.. the nightingale kill you?” she doesn’t want to call that angel Bree or Gabriel. Gabriel would never do something like any of that.         

                “Not on purpose. I… I’ll explain everything after this is all over, I promise. I’m sorry. I was trying to stay by your side to make sure nothing else happened to you.”

                “But, what was it and who saved us?” Alex tries to think.

                “Sam and Harahel were researching it with Helel, so possibly one of them, but never mind right now. The important thing is that the two of you are safe and stay safe. I’ll carry you back. Are you ready for your first flight, Abigail?” He can’t help but smile at the tired and slightly annoyed looking infant who just yawns and closes her eyes again.


	29. Inevitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci meets Mary Winchester  
> Gabriel tries to get help from Dad  
> Mirror-Michael sinks into dispair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Had a bit of writers block, but I'm good now and hopefully back to a chapter a day.

        “What in Hades was that?” Gabriel looks at the ceiling, grateful the shaking didn’t cause a cave in. Luci is more than slightly pale. “Are you okay?”

        “Other you has released the Darkness.” He says after a moment.

        “Oh, that bitch! C’mon. We’ve got to go get Dad.” She goes to pass into the ether but trips over her feet instead. Luci catches her.

        “We need to get Michael and Raphael, and probably the Winchesters. Given our situation, I’m probably the best choice to talk to the three of those, You stay here and try to talk some sense into your husband.” Luci pats her head as he helps her back up right.

         “Not funny, Luce.”

         “No, it isn’t. Look, until we get some sort of plan in place. You need to stay out of sight and as far from Amara as possible. Trust me, you do not want to know what she’s going to do to you if she catches you.” He takes hold of her face. “Please be careful.”

         “I will. And be nice to this Sam, understand? Don’t be a dick just because he leaves himself open. You will fuck it up for the other you and you know you deserve better.” She tweaks his nose.

         “I’ll try.” He says curtly. “And you,give little Raphi a chance, huh? In case we can’t get back. I think you’d make a cute couple.”

         “You keep your sick perverted fantasies to yourself. Unless of course you want to start hearing mine. The most recent of which involves my sweet sampita in full dress uniform.” Gabriel gives her brother a mischievous grin. Luci just flicks her nose and dissappears. Alright, where is that mirror-brother of hers? “Raphael?” She calls and heads towards where he went off to. “Hey, Raph.” She sees him sitting in a corner of a larger jeweled cavern. “We kind of have a big problem.”

           “I heard.” He replies, not lifting his  from his hands.

           “Okay, so…”

           “So, what exactly?” Raphael still doesn’t look up.

           “So we need to start working on a plan. I wish I knew more about what happened.But none of them really wanted to talk about it and even after we found out dad was okay, Luci still got seizures if he thought too hard on the memory.” Gabriel sits down in front of him. “But we need to get dad. We can’t do this without him.”

            “And let him sacrifice you again without a word? No. There’s no point. If the darkess doesn’t kill us, Michael will so why do anything. If you could, at least just sit beside me and let me hold you until the end comes.” He looks up at her an all too familiar look of despair in his eyes.

             “Alright.” She scoots over and hugs him, letting him rest his head on hers. He’s still as big a snuggle bunny in this thread as her own at least. “Well, maybe not until the end, but enough to make you feel better.”

             “I would have liked to see your daughter.” He says after a minute.

             “I’d have liked to see yours.” Gabriel says simply. “I wanted to thank you.”

             “Thank me?”

             “For loving and looking out for other me all this time, mitigating the damage to humanity.” Raphael looks down at her in surprise. “I know you. It stands to reason you would.”

             “You don’t know me. You know him. Who I could have been had things not gone the way they did. Is he loved? This Alex he loves, does she love him back?”

             “Yes. More than anything.”

             “That’s something at least.”

             “I refuse to believe you’re not just as loved here. I mean angels turned on heaven to try and set you free, right?” She insists. “Raph, I know everything seems horrible and pointless right now, but it’s not. It really isn’t. I’ve felt that way, too. And get somehow things got better. Can you bring me to see someone? Please?”

             “If you wish.” He nods, with no enthusiasm at all and helps her to fer heet. “Just tell me where to go.”

              It’s irritatingly easy to find this Sam. Helel seems to be in the back of his mind at all times. Dean is under the impala, working on something, as usual, jeans and army boots sticking out the side.

               “No coveralls?” Luci asks, desperately wanting to do anything besides going in there and seeing the Sam that could have been. Even talk to that asshole, Dean.

               “No, just looking at something real quick.” The feminine voice surprises him as much as the older woman that pushes out from underneath the car. Is Dean a woman in this thread? No, Gabriel would have mentioned that while laughing her ass off if that was the case. “Can I help you?”

              “I’m here to speak to Sam Winchester.” He reluctantly informs her. “And you are…”

              “His mother.” She eyes his suspiciously. Huh, so Sam and Dean got to be raised by their mother in this one. That’s interesting. “And who may I ask are you?” She looks incredibly suspicious with unreasonable speed.

              “That’s something I’d rather not discuss in the middle of the street. You can call me Luci.”

              “Can I? And you’re here for Sam.” She emphasizes the name.

              “Yes. If it’s not convenient I can go.” Why the hell did he come here. He doesn’t want to meet this Sam. Of course he can’t have Gabriel do it. Maybe he can just go to this Michael and explain the situation to her. Granted she’s probably at least a bit embarassed about being caught off guard and thrown that way, but he’d infinitely rather deal with Michael in any mood than Sam Winchester. Even, no especially one that supposedly adores him.

               “Who are you?” She narrows her eyes at him, reaching into her jacket. “More importantly, what are you?”

               “I’m an angel.”

               “What do you want with my son? And why didn’t you just appear to him?” She asks a reasonable question. He really doesn’t want to answer ‘because I hate him and don’t want to talk to him so I’m stalling like a child avoiding doing his chores.’  Wait, is that Gabriel’s blade underneath her jacket?

               “How the hell did you get that?” He snatches it from her before she can weild it,and looks it over. It is, how on earth did...

               “Helel return the blade to Mary.” He looks up to see Michael wearing his vessel, Dean Winchester. That’s the singularly most disturbing sight he’s seen so far. “Now.”

               “Don’t call me Helel.” He snaps putting the blade away instead.  Only father, Shelly, Raphael, and his Mitcha, in more intimate moments, can call him that now.  Not that he can explain that. “I’m not him. And why would you let a Winchester to hold onto a an angel blade? Are you suicidal? Or were you just hoping she would kill Gabriel for you?” He turns to his angered brother.

               “After what you just did, you dare to come here and criticize me? Or more accurately criticize yourself. You were the one who insisted she be allowed to keep it.” Michael strides forwards.

               “I told you, that wasn’t me. After what you did to your baby sister you have no right to be angry!” Helel retorts. It’s much easier to get angry at her when she’s wearing that. In truth, he kind of wants to punch her. After all it’s not his Mitcha, it wouldn’t really hurt her that much anyways and he doesn’t give a shit about the vessel. “But that’s not important right now. What’s important is that the darkness had been released, and we need to take care of that right now.”

               “I know the darkness has been released! All of heaven knows. I am not so mentally enfeebled that I could be unaware of the multitude of alarms triggered by it!”

               “Given you’re mentally enfeebled enough not to notice when two of your siblings got replaced by their counterparts from a completely different thread of reality, I’d think it was a fair assumption. you stupid violent asshole!”  He can feel the enraged wave of heat coming off Michael, but she’s stopped in her tracks by a sharp whistle from mother Winchester.

                 “Boys. Inside. Now.” She points to the house.  “This is not a discussion for the middle of the street.” Honestly it’s not really a discussion to have on earth as Luci’s fairly sure it’d come to blows.

                 “Get in the house.” Michael orders Luci cooly.

                 “What’s the magic word?” Michael just gives him a hard look. “Fine.” Luci walks over to the door and opens it. “Ladies first.” He waves them in. Michael doesn’t move until Mary pats his shoulder and enters the house ahead of them both.

                 “Sam?” Mary goes to the staircase and calls up to the second floor, looking almost delighted for some reason as she does so. Is calling for your son in your own home something so novel? “Can you come down here please?”

                 “Do you want Claire as well?” he calls down. This Sam sounds the same at least.

                 “Maybe. It’s work related so, it’s up to her.” Mary leans on the rail. Luci can’t help but look up as Other Sam exits a room near the stairway. He’s in a plain army green tee over fatigues with the traditional marine hair cut, which is the most jarring sight of all. He barely looks like Sam like that. He’s not hunching down either, like he usually does, the proper posture makes him look fairly impressive.

                 “She’ll be down in a few minutes. She’s just putting a few things away. Who’s this?” He gives Luci a friendly nod. Luci just walks over to the most comfortable seat and sits down. His chest hurts and he’s regretting pretty much every thing he’s done since he’s arrived. “Hey. Are you okay?” Sam puts a hand on Luci’s shoulder.

                 “Go sit down.” He brushes Hairless Sam’s hand away. “Preferrably over there.” Luci points to the distant chair.

                  “Michael. Did Dean get a chance to talk to you?” Mary quietly asks him, leading him aside.

                  “Breifly. He thinks this Gabriel is not our nightingale.”

                  “And I believe Helel just stated that not only is that true, but that he’s not our Helel any more than this Gabriel is the nightingale.,” Mary gently reminds him. Michael is silent, and still, never a good sign.

                  “Mom?” Dean comes to the front with a sigh. “I think we need some time alone with him.” His eyes clearly show he’s resisting an I told you so. Which is good because she is in no mood for backtalk right now.

                  “Alright. I’ll go talk to the other Helel. See what’s going on, you go take care of your angel.” She puts a hand to his cheek and walks back to the living room. “Alright, so, ‘Luci’ what’s going on and how can we help?”

 

                   “This is the place?” Raphael sets Gabriel down on the dilapidated old porch.

                   “Yupperoonie.” She knocks on the door.

                   “It looks abandoned.”

                   “I know. Dad’s decided to be a bit of a slob now.” She knocks again.

                   “Our father is living here.” Raphael says slowly. “Our father, the one who insisted on glorious temples and the ark of the covenant is living here. In this run down, termite infested wooden disaster.”

                   “Yes. I think so. Maybe. This is where and who he was in my thread. I did talk to him earlier but he might have just been humoring the crazy lady. I can’t really be sure. Dad?” She bangs again. “Kind of important! Of course you already know that. We need you for this dad!” The door falls down. “Whoops sorry.” She goes in and picks it up, placing it off to the side.

                   “He wouldn’t come for us.” Raphael says blankly. “ He doesn’t care about either one of us.”

                    “I’m fairly sure he does. He’s just kind of a hands off parent. Think Dumbledore but not as nurturing or transparently straight forwards. We just have no clue what he’s thinking, what he’s doing, why he’s doing it or nt soing it and it’s frustrating as all hells. Of course, now that I have a three year old I kind of understand from his point of view a little. You really don’t understand what it’s like to be a parent until you are one. And given my little Shelly girl is a stubborn and demanding little thing. I can’t tell you with complete confidence that even though there have been times I wanted to just throw her out the window, I still loved her and do love her and always will.  It was the same with Hel, Rhys and Yuri, but they weren’t nearly as difficult. Or at least not at such a young age and Hel was a huge help when her brothers came.” Gabriel walks over to the nearest chair and sits in it backwards as she doesn’t feel like irritating her grace again.

                 “So you think that we should just take it on faith that Dad loves us and is always right and knows exactly what he’s done at all times and that utterly abandoning us to pain and suffering failure and disgrace is just part of his grand plan?” Raphael crosses his arms.

                 “Pfft. No. Maybe, but I have no clue. I do think that at the very least, he’s doing his best and wants the best for us. And even if he isn’t doing exactly what he needs to do it’s not because he doesn’t care.”

                 “Maybe things are different in your thread, but I can assure you in this one you and I mean absolutely nothing to him. We were only created at all for the benefit of the children he truly loves, and he even abandoned them. We are objects to be used and discarded when no longer useful or needed or compliant and neither of us has been since the day you were cast from heaven. Appealing to him for help is a waste of time.”

                  “It might not be. You never know.” Gabriel shrugs.

                  “Yes, I do.” He replies cooly. “He allowed us to be sacrificed for the sake of his favorite son and tortured by or for his favorite daughter. Even if he did respond to our pleas for help it would be to neither our benefit nor our salvation. All that awaits us is pain and torment and death.” The despair in his eyes is hard to deal with. Gabriel desperately wishes that Alex was here, because she’s fairly sure he needs a little loving and appreciation and she really can’t give it to quite that degree. “We’ll stay until you’re satisfied he won’t appear.” Raphael turns away. “Hopefully that moment will be before our imminent unmaking.”

  


                   “Michael?” The sheriff gently calls to his angel, who’s just drawn back inside of him, just listening to what Dean had to say.

                   “I should have.” Is Michael’s response.” She called me Miqa.”

                   “Meek -uh?”

                   “Short for Michael?”

                   “Mee-kyle?”

                   “My name. Properly pronounced.”

                   “Seriously?”

                   “Yes. I have told you this.” Michael sounds vaguely annoyed. “Almost no one on earth seems to say it right, but I had hoped that you would at least remember what it was.”

                   “Sorry. So, she called you Miqa. How exactly is that supposed to tell you. ‘Hey, I’m a different angel entirely from some mirror verse and not the lying pyschopathic prankster you think I am.’ ?” Dean argues. “You can’t possibly have been expected to know. I mean it, man. Do you remember what you told me? When I’d locked up Sam again? That I had no good reason to believe he was telling the truth. That after everything he’d done, everything I know about him. that I couldn’t have been expected to know. If it was true for me it’s definitely true for you. Or were you lying to me to make me feel better?”

                  “Of course I wasn’t lying to you. And perhaps I’m not at fault for that particular mistake but Helel… he hasn’t spoken to me or behaved that way since… I can’t even remember when. And he attacked me. He actually… he threw me.” Michael sounds almost offended and definitely embarrassed at this. “How could I have believed it was him?”

                  “Mike, none at this is even remotely predictable. What we need now is to figure out what this darkness is, how dangerous it is and how to stop it.” Dean reminds him. Though it’s really not like him to be unable to push things aside long enough to focus on the mission.

                   “Do you remember when I told you why we can’t kill the nightingale? That she held the key sealing away an even greater destructive force than herself. That force is the Darkness. Her name is Amara, she’s father’s elder sister. Our father is the light and he came into being and started to create things, but every time he made something she would destroy it. Over and over. Finally, he made a plan. He made us, the archangels to fight her and lock her away, so everything could exist.

                   “She was stronger than he was so there was little hope. But we didn’t know that he intended to trick her. He didn’t tell us. Helel was created to seduce and decieve her, trapping her with the mark. We weren’t told this, though and Gabriel, never very obedient, always pressing and testing all the rules and boundaries… She followed the rules to be sure, but if there wasn’t a rule… She interfered and ended up having to take his place.

                    “She was weak and foolish and never meant to bear that burden. You see the results of her… arrogance. Helel never would have fallen the way she did. She left him no other option. We won’t be able to fool her again. What’s more father’s not here to aid us. We are alone and abandoned, just a failed experiment he no longer cares to protect. It doesn’t matter what we do, it’s not enough. It’s never been enough.

                     “I am sorry, Dean, but there is no hope of salvation. There is an enemy we cannot defeat. Take what time we have left and go spend it with your loved ones. I will say my goodbyes, go back and speak to my siblings. But there is nothing we can do.” Michael falls silent again, instead of just taking back control of the vessel. Likely trying to compose himself first.

                     “What?” The sheriff rebukes him. “That’s it? You’re giving up? Since when do you back away from a fight? I never took you for a coward, Michael.”

                      “Excuse me?” The archangel’s tone is deadly. “The darkness is not a ‘fight’. Amara is more powerful than my father, my siblings, and myself combined. It is suicide and I will not deprive you of precious time with your wife and child in persuit of an unattainable goal.”

                       “So, what? Because you’re faced with an opponent you can’t utterly dominate out of hand for once in your life, you’re not even going to try? Just turn tail and run? You’re just not going to do anything, not even going to try and save my family or yours. That is not the angel I know. The angel I know would fight to the last breath because any chance even no chance is better than doing nothing!”

                        “Well, maybe I’m just not the angel you think I am.” Michael says cooly and leaves his vessel without another word.


	30. Guardian Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shelly receives an assignment.  
> Claire has some family time.

        “Alex, thank god you’re alright. Both of you.” Sam embraces her as Raphael sets his lover and daughter down on the grassy field full of fledglings.

        “Raphael.” Michael lights down beside his brother and takes hold of him just as tightly. “You’re alive.”

         “Relatively. I’ve lost my vessel, though.” Raphael can’t help but feel a bit embarrassed as Michael’s fiery kiss on the forehead leaves a shiny lip print of heat tempered stone. “Please stop doing that.”  Michael’s gotten so demonstratively affectionate since she died it’s oddly more embarrassing now than it was when he was a fledgling.

          “I have it. Don’t worry I’ll show you how to reinhabit it. Alex, what do you think of my little brother true form? I told him it was foolish to be self conscious about it.”

          “I think he’s gorgeous.”

          “Has he down you his breastplate?”

          “She doesn’t need to see the breastplate.” Raphael quickly replies to Michael’s question. “Why are you so happy? Has something actually gone, right?”

          “Yes. You’re alive, and awake.” Michael reaches up to tousle Raphael’s hair but pauses and instead used both hands to melt and straighten the curls smoothing them back into a slick almost shoulder length do. For a moment, upon finding Helel with the broken vial, Michael felt sheer panic. Without Raphael’s grace how would he be brought back? Apparently, it just returns to the abyss when released in that way. Among all the bad news, this one good thing makes Michael feel almost desperately giddy.  “We do have a few more serious problems. The other Gabriel has successfully removed the mark.”

         “She what? But I specifically acted to prevent that from happening. It’s impossible that it should have, but if it’s really gone, does this mean that the darkness has been released?”

         “Most likely. And it also means our Helel and Gabriel are currently trapped in a thread of reality where the darkness is free.” Michael turns to Sam who’s listening intently. “Sam, if the darkness is free again, we’ll need all the help we can get to save our siblings. You no longer have to fear the other Gabriel. She’s been bound, pinioned and placed on a distant moon for the duration. But it would still be better for Alex and the children to stay here while we work on rescuing our other loved ones.”

          “I think you may be right.” Sam looks out to the fledglings and gives a familiar whistle.

          “Is that Rue’s whistle from the hunger games?” Alex asks as it’s returned and Shelly runs back over. Sam grins and nods.

          “Michelle.” He starts kneeling down in front of her.

          “I didn’t do anything!” She protests, making Alex try not to laugh.

          “No. You’re not in trouble, sweetie.” Sam grins putting a hand to her cheek. “Mommy’s in trouble and I have to go try to help her. So I’m going to need you to stay here with your aunt and causing until we return. Do you understand?”

          “Yes.” She pouts looking down. “Aunti Miqa?” Shelly looks over to Michael. “You’ll help uncle Dean take care of daddy, right?”

          “I will do everything I can to bring your parents back to you safe and sound.” Michael reassures her.

          “Uncle Raphael, are you going too?”

          “Yes, I am.”

          “Can you bring Courage here then? So we can play when you’re gone and he won’t be home all alone.”

          “Of course. I’ll bring him when I came back with a few of your things as soon as I regain my vessel.”

          “Why are you changing? You’re very pretty, can’t you stay like this?” She tugs gently on the nearest edge of his wings.

           “No. If I leave the abyss without a vessel I became so big and bright that people would die just because they looked at me. If I’m on earth, I need a vessel.”

           “Oh. Okay.” The girl gives a disappointed sigh.  “I’m going to go play. Goodbye auntie, goodbye uncle, goodbye daddy. I’ll see you later.” She goes to give each of them a goodbye kiss in turn and runs back off to play with the fledglings.

           “I will return shortly.” Raphael returns his hair to it’s naturally curly state and and gives Alex and Abigail a gentle kiss as well. “I’ll also make certain there’s no trouble with the hospital.”

           “Thank you. Be careful.” She calls after him  as the archangels fly away with Sam.

           “Is that another baby?” The fledglings start to come crowd around her.

           “Yes. Her name is Abigail she’s my and Raphael’s daughter.” Alex sits carefully down in the grass.”

           “But she’s just human.”

           “Yes, and  not so close please. I’m getting a little claustrophobic.” Alex frees them away a few feet. Angels have no concept of personal space. And cute as they are she needs some breathing room.

           “Courage!” Shelly crows and runs over as Raphael appears with the dog and several large items, courage scrambles over to her, giving her a slobbery kiss before breaking out of her hug to go give an excited bark at Alex and the baby. The sudden noise startles Abigail awake and she starts to cry.

           “Courage, be quiet.” Raphael sternly comments him. “You are not a puppy anymore you know better.” Alex just shushes the baby and puts her on her shoulder, patting her back as she jostles her slightly.

           “Miss Alex! Don’t shake the baby!”Shelly exclaims. “She’ll die!”

           “I’m not. I’m just gently rocking her to help her get back to sleep. Like the same motion she’d feel if I was walking around with her. I’m just too tired to walk.” Alex exclaims.

           “ Michelle, may I speak to you?” Raphael sets the bundle of items down.

           “Do you have to?” She looks worried.

           “I’m not going to scold you. We have a request for you.” Raphael stands in front of her.

           “Okay.” She straightens up to match his formal pose and puts her hands behind her back.

           “As you know. Abigail is human and very new. So she needs quite alot of care and protection. Her mother can take care of most things, but she just gave birth and has to rest and recover for five more weeks. She must not overexert herself or lift heavy objects. She will also need a great deal of sleep as the baby will wake her frequently to feed. I had planned to tend to all of this myself, but unfortunately I must leave and am unsure of when I will be able to return.

           “And so I would ask of you to help care for and protect them in my stead.” 

           “Me?” Shelly looks both surprised and astonished at the same time. “Like… like a guardian angel? I don’t have a sword.” She wants a sword.

           “An apprentice guardian perhaps.” Raphael clarifies. “If you show yourself willing and able one day you may be. Until then you have no need of a sword.”

            “Oh.”

            “I am entrusting you with that which is most precious to me, Michelle.” He kneels down to speak to her face to face. “Can I depend on you? Or shall I look elsewhere?”

             “No! I can do it! Helel taught me how to help with the baby.” Shelly bounces a little excitedly, bringing the picture of baby Shelly as Roo to Alex’s mind. “I want to be her angel.”

            “Very good. Do your best and do as Alex tells you. We shall discuss it upon my return. Thank you. You have given me great peace of mind.” He kisses her forehead. Shelly just squeezes his neck in an enthusiastic hug.

            “I will be the bestest guardian angel that ever angel so! You’ll see!” She grins. Alex smiles at her. They’d talked about it after Shelly’s poor response to her new cousin.

            “Be careful.” Alex kisses his cheek.

            “I will.  Before i forget there were some letters on the floor under your bed. I brought the one addressed to you. I assume they’re from Claire. They’re her handwriting.  I’m not certain why she wrote letters but I’ll read mine shortly. I’ve tried to contact her to let her know where you are but neither I nor Jody can seem to get ahold of more than her voicemail. I left a message and sent a text to let her know where the two of you were. The angels at the entrance have been given instructions to allow Claire and Jody entry unchallenged should either arrive. I love you.”

           “I love you, too.”

  
  


           “More potatoes there, Claire-bear?” Jimmy holds out the dish of ultra loaded mashed potatoes, good for everything but an extended life span.

           “No, thanks.” She looks down at her plate.

           “No? You’re refusing my patented Special Spuds? Are you feeling alright?” He reachs over to touch her forehead. “Hmm, no fever.”

           “Dad…” Claire gives him a look.

           “Is this the little girl who once said she wanted to live off of these? Are we sure this is our daughter, mon Ami?” He turns to Amelia who examines Claire thoughtfully.

           “It looks like her. Maybe she’s on drugs.” Her mother examines her with a subtle grin.

          “Claire, tell me the truth, now, are you snorting the marijuana?” Jimmy leans forwards giving her a not quite so intimidating gaze. He can only keep a straight face against Claire’s irritated utterly unamused expression for so long before he starts to laugh. “C’mon, honey. What’s wrong?” He scoots closer.

           “I’m dead, dad. That’s what’s wrong.”

           “But, sweetie, this is heaven.” Amelia squeezes her hand. “And it’s actually gotten even better than it was, believe it or not. We can visit friends and family, share in their best moments if we so choose. I know you’re so young, but we are so proud of you.”

           “For what?”

           “What do you mean for what? You dedicated your life to helping others, you adopted and took care of a sister and helped bring back the archangels and all those lost to the abyss.  You have done so well.”

           “Obviously it’s not what we wanted for you. We wanted you to be safe and secure and find a place in the normal world.” Amelia gets up and puts her arm around her.“  But we’d be fools not to recognize you for the heroine you are.” 

           “I’ve made so many horrible mistakes.” Claire eyes start to water.

           “Well, we’re your parents. We don’t give a flying fuck.”

           “Jimmy!” Amelia smacks his arm.

           “We’re in heaven, Mimi, Melly, Lia, mon Ami. Obviously it’s not a mortal sin.” He whistles at his wife. “Besides I’m sure she’s heard worse by now, Amelia Bedelia.”

            “Jesus.” Claire covers her face. “Why did I ever miss being embarrassed by you two?”

            “I don’t know. It’ll be alright, Claire.” She hugs her. “I’m fairly sure you’ll be resurrected shortly so why don’t we just enjoy our time together. So, Claire.” Amelia sits back down and pulls her chair a little closer to her daughter’s. “Tell me about this girlfriend of yours.”

            “W-what? How did you even know about… wait, you’re okay with that? But you’re like, super religious, or were, aren’t you? Weren’t you?”

            “Well, it’d be kind of hypocritical if we weren’t.” Jimmy shrugs. “Your mom’s fine with me being bisexual so..”

             “You knew… you... what?” Claire sits back in her chair. Yeah she knew her father had the inclination if only because Castiel did and it’s the same body, but she figured her dad was so far in the closet he thought it was a cozy apartment.

            “Well, you know our how we met story?”

            “Yeah…” Claire looks over to her father. “Mom was dating a friend of yours and you found out he was cheating on her and you told her and hit it off.” 

            “That’s technically true.” Amelia gives a sheepish smile. “The full truth is that he was cheating on me with Jimmy, or on Jimmy with me actually. He played us both.”

             “I found out first got drunk and decided to go borrow her phone to call and break up with him and apologize to her.” Jimmy continues.

             “It was kind of surreal. He wasn’t out of anything, but well, we met again at the free clinic, getting tested. Then again when we started flirting with the same guy at this underground club. We actually ended up bonding over our mutual taste in men. And one thing led to another.”

             “I was in a rebellious phase. Of course that was before the accident.”

             “The one that led you to propose to mom?”

             “Yes.”

             “His rebellious phase consisted only of dating guys mind you. He was otherwise the straight laced righteous men we know and love. Just with a great big insecurity complex about his sexuality.”

             “I guess that’s why you were so eager to be a vessel.” Claire sighs. “And why mom was so quick to believe it was just a religious themed psychotic break.”

             “Jimmy, who honestly wouldn’t. Angels didn’t do that sort of things now a days.” Amelia defends herself weakly. “I’m sorry.”

             “No, I am. I abandoned you both.”

             “Dad. You helped him save all of humanity. That kind of trumps a few years absence. Because of you we weren’t killed by the devil and his minions. I’m not mad at you anymore. Either of you, I guess.” Claire shrugs uncomfortably. “How do you know so much about me anyways? Is there a special All Claire All The Time tv channel in here? Oh, god, please tell me that’s not the case.”

             “Actually, that angel that killed me has been keeping us informed on how you are and what you’ve been doing for the last few years. I’m glad Castiel at least tried to keep his word.” Jimmy shakes his head.

             “He has. He and Dean have sort of adopted me so now I have two annoying fathers looking after me instead of just the one.” Claire explains with a sigh and picks at the mashed potatoes.

            “Dean… Dean… one of those hunters, right? Which one was he? The super hot one or the tall hot one.” Amelia wonders.

            “The not-tall one.” Claire replies uncomfortably. 

            “The super hot one?” Jimmy pretends to be offended.

            “Oh, don’t even pretend you didn’t think so.” Amelia gives her husband a look.

            “I was kind of preoccupied with getting back to you. But yeah, pretty sure he was in the closet then, though.” Jimmy considers.

            “So, even if we had met under different circumstances there was no hope for a threesome.” Amelia sounds so disappointed.

             “Oh my god!” Claire covers her eyes. “Please stop talking about that.”

             “Claire.” For once in her life, well death, she’s glad to hear Raphael’s voice.

             “Finally. You got my letter. Where the hell were you anyways?”

             “Being imprisoned and killed. Alex and Abigail are safely in the abyss with Michele. But i’m afraid I have things to do. If we’re all not wiped from existence I’ll be able to allow visitation, but if we are would you prefer to spend the last moments with Hela or your parents?” Raphael tries not to sound as stressed and impatient as he’s feeling, but it leaks through regardless. It’s not that he’s not eternally grateful to Claire but her continued attitude grates on his already frayed nerves.

             “Go on. “ Amelia puts an arm around Claire’s back and rubs her shoulder. “You go be with your darling.We understand.”

             “Thank you.”  She hugs them both. “I’m glad you’re happy. You both deserve this.”

             “No we don’t, but thank you anyway. Though it’s hard not to be happy when you can spend all eternally getting cozy with your posy.”  Jimmy pulls his wife to him. Claire glares at Raphael who’s stifling a grin at this.

             “You absolute bastard!”

             “I didn’t say anything. I assumed that’s where you heard it.” He protests.

             “Oh dear god, it is.” She winces. “I must have blocked it out. And you’re okay with me loving a pagan goddess.”

             “The heart wants what it wants.” Amelia says after a moment. “Goodbye, Claire. We’ll see you again. Hopefully not too soon.”

             “Bye, mom. Bye, Dad.” She hugs them tightly. “I’ll see you.” She doesn’t say anything else as Raphael takes her to Helheim, where Hela is just sitting on her throne, waiting for them. “Hey, honey.” Claire smiles at her weakly. Hel doesn’t say anything, not trusting herself to speak. 

            “I will come to see you as soon as things have been resolved one way or the other.” Raphael informs her.

           “Yeah, thanks… Raphael?” Claire crosses her arms uncomfortably.  He gives her a nod. “Thank you for keeping my parents informed about me and stuff, I guess and for doing this for me.”

            “Anything I can do, I will.” He replies. “You gave me back my wife and daughter. I will never be able to repay you for that.”

            “I didn’t do it for you. But maybe you’re not the worst thing to ever happen to Alex. Take care of them, okay?”

             “You know I will.” Raphael disappears. Claire turns around steeling herself to face her lover’s heartbroken wrath.


	31. Brothers, and Sisters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam consoles Dean,  
> Michael tries to talk to the nightingale  
> Harahel and Raphael try to take care of Harahel.

        Crowley brushes the vines off his arms as finally, they finally die off. How the hell did that graceless angel manage that? Angels, nothing but trouble. At least he escaped with his life yet again. It’s getting pathetic how that’s become a victory. Surviving. It’s enough to make him want to just buy a store somewhere and retire. Some little coffee shop. Crowley’s coffee. Sinfully good. Demonically delicious? No.

        A life of mediocrity. No, worse, a death of mediocrity. It’s almost enough to just give me and take his place among the line of souls awaiting rebirth. Perhaps if it’s a long enough of a wait there’ll be no more Winchesters when he’s reborn. Though more likely they’ll all be Winchesters at that point. He could become a Winchester. No definitely not worth the risk.

        That chaotic little psychopath did have an interesting idea though. Remake hell from a place of torture to one of self indulgence. Instead of externally provided torment internally provided torment. Of course how to keep them in line and then there’s the fact that hell has more than it’s fair share of sadists and the power hungry. Perhaps make them into a police force for what limited rules there are. Perhaps make them into a police force for what limited rules there are. There’d have to be an hierarchy of some sort. Rewards. More carrot, less stick, but a bigger stick.

        As he walks down the crumbling halls he feels a strange sort of vibration in the air causing almost a ringing in his ears. One of the many perks of being a demon. is no tinnitus so that means something external is making that noise. That can’t be good. It’s coming from the room they set up to do the spell. Near the table. As he walks over he starts to feel uncomfortable in a way he hasn’t in a long time. Not since he was human in a certain old house that was so infected with ghosts that it actually ripped a hole into the ether. Or perhaps the hole drew the spirits.

         But this… crowley pauses a moment. It looks as if there’s a clean patch on the wall that wasn’t there before. What’s more, he can hear voices. They sound like tourists. He moves to the side and the clean patch moves. There’s a bit of a hand that points to a stone before a courderoy jacket makes a jagged patch into the air. Just for the hell of it. Crowley reaches out and touches said jacket causing the owner to jump slightly and swing their hand back to catch what touched them. When it hits the edge of the patch, the space expands to let the hand through. It doesn’t snap back when the person, seeing no one, quickly leaves the area.

        “Bollocks,”

 

        “Dean,” Sam sees his brother sitting on the edge of his bed, just resting his head on his hands. There’s an open envelope and letter on the bed next to him. “Are you okay?”

         “Why aren’t you in the abyss with your daughter?” Dean asks quietly not looking up. “You should be with her.”

         “Alex is watching her. We need everyone we can get to work on this.” Sam walks over to him. “Dean? What’s happened? Is it Cas?”

         “Claire’s dead.” Is the quiet reply. “And she can’t come back. Not while Alex’s daughter is alive. It’s all part of the curse. That she took from Alex somehow.”

          “What?” Sam sits down next to him. Dean just hands him the letter that explains everything. Sam’s first thought is relief that Raphael’s not involved in it. “Does Cas know?”

          “Yes. Michael took him to interrogate your wife’s evil twin. How the hell can this happen? It’s been a week. How does everything go from great to absolute clusterfuck in a week?”

          “Well, it may be an evil Gabriel, but this is still Gabriel we’re talking about.” Sam puts a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “You do remember the mystery spot.”

          “You know I don’t.”

          “The college then. When we first met her.”

          “When she was a him, yeah. I also remember catching you checking out his ass.” Dean can’t resist.

          “I was not!”

          “Yes, you were. And flirting.”

          “No, I wasn’t. It’s called being polite.”

          “Maybe you did it unconsciously, but you absolutely were.” Dean grins at his irritated brother. “I’m guessing marijuana wasn’t the only thing you experimented with in college.”

          “Not everyone’s bi, Dean. He was short. I had to look down to see him. That’s all.”

          “Tell me honestly, Sam, which of her vessels do you think had the cuter butt?” Sam’s lack of reply tells him that it was his Loki suit.

           “I’m going to pretend we aren’t having this conversation and hug you.” Sam announces and hugs his big brother before he can object. Dean just holds onto him tightly in return. “We’ll figure something out, Dean. We always do. You know we always do.”

           “I’m tired, Sam.” Dean says quietly.

           “I know.”

           “Tired of outliving everyone. I’m tired of always ending up having fighting. I like teaching and mentoring young hunters and going on dates with Cas. I like fixing that damn POS wagon of hers and trying to modify it to make it actually run consistantly that I’m now never going to be able to give back to her. I love giving her advice and seeing her on holidays and… how could we let her do something like this? It’s just…”

           “Something we would do?”

           "Yeah.” He closes his eyes. “It is.”

           “Pardon the intrusion, but I’m afraid we have a bit of a problem.” They look over to see Crowley standing in the hallway. “Hello, boys.”

 

           “Have you finally decided to kill me?”  The nightingale asks as Michael returns to the icy moon.

           “No.” Michael replies kneeling in front of the hunched up angel. “Gabriel, there’s been a complication regarding the curse you placed on Alex and Abigail.”

           “Oh?” she smirks. “Lost them both have we?”

           “No, they’re both fine. You were sloppy and left the kind to Alex’s soul loose so Angrboda was able to transfer it to someone else, who sacrificed themselves for Abigail.”

            “Of course. Nothing ever goes right.” She scowls. “So? They’re fine. What’s the problem?  Was the poor stupid lamb who took their place a friend of yours?”

            “No. She was a friend of yours. Well, Gabriel’s best friend. I don’t know know if her counterpart is anything to you in your thread.”

            “Her bestie, huh? Oh, well, It’s not as if other me will care. She’ll be denounced y the darkness soon enough. They all will.” Bree looks away.

             “So Claire Novak is nothing to you.’ the nightingale looks back to see Castiel behind her.

             “Ah, you’re Michael’s lackey now, is that right?” She glares at him. “Bad enough my Castiel is Helel’s toady and spy posing as my bodyguard on his behalf, but Michael? Really? You know she’d toss you into the abyss at the first excuse, right?”

             “Not anymore.’ Castiel replies dryly. Michael actually cracks a breif smile at this, but it doesn’t give Bree a sense of friendly comradery for some reason.

             “And I had such high hopes after reading about your little rebellion.” Bree snickers. “I hope you learned some better insults, though. ‘Assbutt’. That’s hilariously stupid.”

             “Thank you for bringing that up.” Michael tightens his lips which just makes Gabriel laugh some more.

             “Why, why, why would either of you come to me for anything? I hate you. Both of you. I’m glad she’s dead. That poaching bitch can live with the fact her sister is dead because of her. If I had my way I’d kill her little brat as well. Let her live without everything she’s ever loved, too.” Bree curls her wings tightly around herself. “What are you doing?” She asks as she feels Michael’s warmth surrounding her. Something she hasn’t felt since before they faced the darkness.

               “I’m hugging you.”

               “Why? Oh jesus, not you, too.” She groans as she feels an additional hand patting her back.

                “No, it’s Castiel.” Michael teases.

                “Was that a joke? Did you seriously just make a joke? What’s wrong with you.” She pushes them away. “I killed your little darlings. I’ve destroyed an entire thread of existence with your real brother and sister in it. I’m an evil, irredeemable chaotic waste of intent! You’re not supposed to hug me! You’re supposed to DESTROY ME!”

                 “No.” Michael shakes her head. Bree gives a frustrated scream and launches herself at her big sister in a futile pointless attack. Castiel moves to intervene, but Michael shakes his head and just wraps his arms and wings firmly around Bree until she gives up and stops fighting.

                  “I hate you.”

                  “I love you.”

                  “I’m not the sister you love!”

                  “And I’m not the big sister you hate.”

                  “I don’t care! You’re still Michael and that’s enough.”

                  “And you’re still Gabriel.” The statement breaks Bree down into hot angry tears. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. Castiel go check on Helel.” Michael’s tone leaves no room for argument.

                   “Yes, sir.” Castiel goes back to Michael and Luci’s apartment. Much to his surprise Harahel is there sitting beside Helel’s bed. Helel has the pillow covering his head, facing the wall.

                   “You know, food isn’t inherently sinful or anything.” Harahel insists, a plate in her lap. “You need food so as not to die.”

                   “I appreciate your concern, but would prefer you to tend to your own affairs.” is the cool reply.

                   “I’m sorry.” The meek apology elicit a sigh from Helel.

                   “No, don’t be sorry. You’re just being the kind sweet angel you always were. But better, braver, happier, stronger. Everyone is. Gabriel was something wonderful here. Even Raphael was a better angel.” The bitterness in his voice is almost heart breaking. “Go back to your friends and library, where you belong.”

                  “Eat this first, and I’ll go.” Harahel picks up the piece of toast on the plate and holds it out. “It’s plain toast. Not even remotely licentious.”

                  “Please just leave.”

                  “It’s whole wheat. And kind of stale if that helps.” This gets a laugh from the angel who sits up and takes the piece of toast.

                  “Very well.” Helel pats the angel’s head and takes a bite.

                  “Harahel?” Castiel steps forwards. The angel jumps a little, “Is everything alright here?”

                  “Yes. I just… I just wanted to see if I could get Helel to eat. I know Luci was anorexic too but he’d eat somethings sometimes at least if it was made right.”

                  “Anorexic?” Helel looks a bit offended.

                  “Well, that’s what it’s called when you refuse to eat or excessively restrict your diet in an attempt to exert control in a situation where you feel largely helpless.” Harahel looks down at her hands.

                  “I know what it is. I am not anorexic. I am an angel. Angels don’t eat.” He puts the toast down. “There are a whole realm of things that are solely for humans, not angels and I am not human.”

                  “Well, you kind of are, at the moment.” Hara reluctantly points out. Helel just gives her a dark look.

                  “Where’s Michael? Is she alright?”

                  “Michael is just fine. She’s trying to convince the nightingale to tell us how to access your thread. And possibly how to reverse the effects of the curse once triggered.”

                  “Which one did they lose? Mother or daughter?” Helel looks down at the half eaten piece of toast in her hand.

                  “Neither. Claire had the curse transformed from Alex to herself and had a helper activate it on Abigail’s behalf.”

                   “No!” Harahel bolts up to her feet, dropping the rest of the toast. “How could you let her…. no, no, it’s fine.” She regains control of herself. “Krissy, it’s fine. It’s okay. They can… they can resurrect her, it’s okay. It’s just… it’ll be okay.”

                   “We can’t.” Castiel says quietly. “Claire and Abigail cannot both be alive at the same time without reactivating the curse on them both. We’re hoping that if Gabriel can tell us what she did we can find a way to unmake it without having to sacrifice either one. Unfortunately there’s the matter of rescuing your thread from the darkness, which must be taken care of more immediately.”

                   “I see.” Helel looks thoughtful. “Very well, let’s go. Perhaps this time i can do what I was supposed to do.” He starts to stand up but gets dizzy and falls heavily back down.

                  “You need to eat or your body will cease to function.” Harahel reminds him.

                  “I know that.”

                  “I will return shortly. I would suggest eating a good meal before I do.”

                  “She’ll never talk to Michael.” Helel says quickly before Castiel can leave. ”She might have spoken to Raphael, but he’s dead, so you’ll have to let me try.”

                  “I’ll discuss it with Michael.” Castiel vanishes.

                  “You like organic soda and bucaneer’s bounty and kentucky fried chick… Krissy… no… I… Alright. Vanishes as well. While he waits, he just lays back down and nibbles on the stale dry toast.

                   The sound of someone in the kitchen wakes him almost before he realizes he fell asleep. Whatever he’s making smells especially tempting. He can’t tell what he’s smelling as it all blends together into one wonderful scent, but it’s probably the most tempting thing he’s ever been presenting with yet. If it’s for him.

                   “Just to be clear.” Raphael carries in a tray. "I’m not doing this again.” He places the tray down over Helel’s lap and touches his forehead. The aches and pains, dizziness and exhausted weakness is gone. “Now eat.”

                   It’s lasagna with salad and garlic bread also an organic soda beside it. Helel just looks at it and Raphael for a moment unable to process this. It must be a dream, but that thoughts somehow that’s more disturbing a thought than this being real. Obviously it isn’t, though. Raphael is dead. Why would their father who allowed Helel to persuade this angel when he was there, resurrect him now he’s not? Granted this isn’t the same Raphael, or the same thread, and he never understood why their father insisted on creating their healer as this useless brat in the first place. Why would he dream about him? Guilt? There’s no reason for him to feel guilty. He had nothing to do with Raphael’s death.

                    “You died stupidly.” He snaps, hating the feelings the right of this strange Raphael invokes. “It was your own fault. Out of a million ways to try and stop her from freeing the darkness… why would you choose the one that killed you and also that completely and utterly fails!”

                   “If I hadn’t you would have died.” Raphael says simply.

                   “That’s not an answer.”

                   “Eat.” Raphael crosses his arms and straightens up. Helel just looks at it and reluctantly takes a bit. “Too hot?” Helel just slowly shakes his head.  Why do humans do anything other than eat?

                   “It’s... divine.” He’s not really sure how else to describe it. “I’m not dreaming am I?”

                   “No.”

                   “You died.”

                   “I got better.” Is the infuriating response that indicates this Raphael is just as big a smart ass as his. “Things are different here, Helel.”

                   “I noticed.”

                   “We’re finally gotten to a point where my brother and I don’t hate each other and occasionally enjoy each other’s company. I want him back as much as I want my sister. I am not romantically involved with any of my siblings.” Raphael clarifies as Helel gives him a wide eyes slightly repulsed look at his declaration of affection. “If…” Raphael pauses a moment listening to something. “Very well, give us a moment he’s eating.”

                   “Has something happened?”

                   “Yes. There has been a hold ripped into the fabric of time and space. Possibly created when the mark was removed. Eat and I will take you there. Castiel, the Winchesters, Michael and Gabriel will meet us there.”

                   “This is a bit more important than food, Raphael.” Helel argues considering putting the fork down, though he can’t manage it yet.

                   “Eat first.” Raphael crosses his arm and looks out the window. ”I shouldn’t even have to ask given how often my Helel has stolen the lasagna rolls I make for Alex.”

                   “They’re his favorite then?” Helel looks down at it and eats another piece. “Did we always get along?”

                    “No. You mostly ignored my existence. It hurt a great deal in the beginning. I loved and looked up to you until you taught me not to. And this was before you fell. I imagine it’s much the same where you came from. ”

                    “I wouldn’t know. Did you nearly cleave me in two with Michael’s blade in this thread as well?”

                    "Yes. Are you constantly calling me a useless brat in yours?"

                     “And worse.” Helel looks at his plate. “Did I ever torture you?”

                     “No. You couldn’t be bothered. If you had the opportunity to torture me you’d have simply killed me instead. After your fall I never saw or spoke to you again until your resurrection. I’m more surprised that you would bother torturing me than that you would torture. Why did you?”

                     “Because when you left it broke Michael’s heart and she wanted you back. And I love my sister. Otherwise I would have been happy to let you rot as the vile monstronsity I knew you to be.” Helel picks up the garlic bread. “Knew him to be. My Raphael would never have lifted a finger to help me. He’d have watched me die gladly should the universe die with me.”

                      “He probably believes that, too. I know I once did” Raphael walks out of the bedroom. The odd sound of dishes being washed by hand captures his attention briefly before he returns to his meal. It’s odd how the food has suddenly lost all flavor, though everything is the same.


	32. Mirror Image

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winchesters and the Archangels enter the Nightingale's reality.

       “Do you see what I’m talking about?” Crowley points to the hole.

       “No. I don’t.” Dean shakes his head.

       “Stand here.” Crowly points to where he himself is standing and moves aside. Dean walks over and looks. Crowly lights a torch and walks behind the patch which stay dark, though the area behind it is lit.

        “Are we sure that’s the right parallel universe?” Dean asks looking back to his silent, furious looking brother.

        “Well I didn’t exactly feel like going through to check.”

        “Good, you can stay here and explain to me what my daughter was doing with a hellhound.” Sam continues his steady terrifying gaze at the demon.

         “That… I take no responsibility for that. You’re wife’s psychotic evil twin  just dropped in with her and left her with me as if she thought I was some sort of nanny.  I am no babysitter and that child is inhumanly fast. What’s more she will not listen or stay still. You really should discipline her more firmly. You know that with her similar temperament to her uncle and all, that spoiling her can have downright disastrous results.” Sam just strides over and grabs Crowley by the lapels of his suit jacket, hoisting him up into the air.

          “If you ever have or see my daughter again and do not immediately call or text me my brother her uncles or any and every one until you make sure some one knows where she is….”

          “Let me guess. You’ll kill me.”

          “No.” Sam’s voice is quiet. “I won’t. And if you don’t do this and anything happens to her, nobody will. Not for a hundred thousand million years.” Sam lifts him up higher so he can look him straight in the eye. “Do we understand each other?”

           Crowley gives a slow nod. It’s painfully clear in this moment that Sam is and always will be Lucifer’s perfect vessel. Granted he has far too much of a sense of self preservation to ever utter that aloud.

            “Now, tell us everything that’s happened. With the nightingale. “Sam demands.

            “I already have.”

            “No, you haven’t, given you failed to mention your little playdate with my daughter.”

            “This would be why. Look, moose, as scary as you are, that angel of licentious chaos is far more terrifying in her presence than you are in memory. Besides she’s her mother. Or I thought she was at the time.”

             “Yeah, you really can’t blame him for this one.” Dean gives a sigh, rubbing his neck. “You know the nightingale’s psychotic and Shelly is a bit of a handful. Besides you’re only mad because Shelly said she hated you when you killed her ‘doggie’ before it could kill me.”

             “Dean,” Sam shoots him an irritated look.

             “Look, c’mon, just put him down. Okay? We have enough to deal with right now. Michelle is fine and it’s not Crowley’s fault.”

             “Thank you.” Crowly adjusts his suit as Sam puts him down and walks to the corner.

             “Shut up, Crowley.” Dean examines the hole, putting his hand through it. “Not exactly big enough to go through, is it?”

             “It’s expanding slowly, though the process can be speeded up.” Crowly brushes his hand at the edge, widening the discrepancy.

              “Is this it?” Michael asks as he, Castiel and Bree arrive.

              “Yup. Congradulations Nightingale. You broke the multiverse.” Dean gives her a sarcastic thumbs up. Bree just bobs an elegant little curtsy in return.

               “This is not good. With a hole like this, the darkness in the other thread could easily get over here.”

                “So? There’s nothing worth preserving here anyways.” Bree sits down in a nearby chair, not looking at any of them.

                “My apologies for the delay. I had to make certain Helel ate a proper meal first,” Raphael’s apology makes the nightingale turn to face him so fast that she trips over  her own legs and falls off the chair.

                 “Raphael?” She looks up at him not bothering to get back up in her astonishment. She just stares at him as he walks over and lifts her to her feet by the arms. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, not you… I never wanted to…”

                 “I know. It’s alright. I\m alive and well and so is my family. If forgive you.” Raphael kisses her forehead, and holds onto her.

                 “You can’t let them send me back.” She whispers. “Please you can’t. You don’t know what she’ll do to me.”

                 “We will do our best for you, but you have to take responsibility for your actions.” Raphael says gravely. 

                “Seriously?” She wrinkles her nose?

                “Yes.” Is the stern reply. Bree just sighs and looks breifly to Helel, but looks away again. He won’t even look at her. He’ll never forgive her for this, she knows it.

                “So, what should we do? Go through, grab our angels, go home and seal it up or so we stay and seal it up and try to fight Amara again?” Dean pushes the edges of the tear with his hand, smoothing the border.

               “Well, given your insistance on poking through we can probably safely assume that the universe won’t explode with two of us in one place.” Crowly looks at it doubtfully.

               “It didn’t with different time lines, if that was actually a real alternate future.” Dean looks to his brother.

               “Only one way to find out.” Bree slips away from Raphael and jumps through, ripping it open even further. “Raph!” She calls running from the dark room into an oddly darker room. He seems to appear in the shadows in front of her. Was he always this dark? Or does it just seem that way because the other Raph is more of a reddish brown. “Quickly you have to take me home.”

                “No.” the Raphael shape says coldly.

                “What? What do you mean no?” She blinks at it reaches out and takes hold of her wrists where she’s bound.

                “You are never going home little one.” The touch turns into knives ripping the binding from her flesh. It burns and what little light is in the building starts to fade from her vision. “You never should have deceived me.”

                 “She didn’t.” Helel’s voice pierces the void. “She didn’t know what was going to happen.” The darkness releases hers. “None of them did but father and me.” Bree falls to the ground tembling at the darkness leached into his body. “She didn’t deceive you. We did, and betrayed her every bit as much as we betrayed you.”

                  “I see.” The darkness reaches out to Helel but retreats suddenly as a bright light nearly blinds the graceless angel and even makes Bree cover her eyes.

                  “Are you alright?” Michael checks Helel to make certain there was no permanent damage to his eyes from him manifesting his wings. It was done from behind after all.

                  “Yes.” Helel tries to slow his breathing back to normal. “She ran away?”

                  “Sam!” Gabriel appears with the other Raphael and leaps at her husband, kissing him when he catches her. “Are you alright? Did she hurt you? Is Shelly okay?” She asks between kisses.

                  “Yes. No. Yes.” He replies holding her tightly. “Are you… did you get your leg back?” Sam runs his hand down the right leg wrapped around his waist, feeling the lack of prosthetic. He almost misses it. Michael stops in his tracks and just stares at Gabriel,horrified.

                 “Bree.” Other Raphael kneels down beside her as she shakes on the floor. “Gabriel, I’m here. Darling, I’m here.” he strokes her hair and scoops her up in his arms.

                 “Who did this?” Michael asks finally, Gabriel’s wince as Sam puts his hands on her back, breaking the spell. Gabriel moves Sam’s arms enough to not irritate it.

                  “You did.” Other Raphael replies coldly and concentrated on healing Bree’s blackened wrists where the darkness stripped away the binding. 

                  “What?” Michael’s eyes flash a terrifying blue, and he disappears.

                  “Michael wait!” Gabriel calls after him but Michael pays no attention.

                  “What is he talking about?” Sam asks still holding onto his wife. “Are you injured?”

                  “Nothing, nevermind… How did you get here?”

                  “He cut her wings off.” Other Raphael informs him, earning a glare from Gabriel.

                  “Is there a universe where you’re not a fucking tattle tale?”She asks.

                  “You lost your wings?” Sam tightens his grip. “Babe…”

                  “Where’s Lucifer?” Dean demands ushering Castiel and his Raphael through, Crowley in tow as they didn’t particularly feel like leaving him behind.

                  “Gabriel!” Raphael is at her side in an instant. “Sam, put her down.” He takes hold of her gently and has her sit down on a nearby bench. “What happened?”

                  “Our Michael cut her wings off.” Other Raphael repeats doing his best to sooth the nightingale’s new injuries. “I healed her as best I could, but I have no experience with these kinds of injuries.”

                  “Where’s our Michael?” Raphael examines the stubs. “Do you know where the wings are? If I can get them, I can reattach them. But regrowing them will simply take more of my strength than I can afford to use up right now.”

                  “I don’t know where they are or even whether or not they were destroyed.”

                  “He just took off.” Sam sits beside his wife taking her hand. “Is the area secure?”

                  “Yes, we have a selection of angels guarding the tear. No one should enter again from our side.” Castiel informs them. There’s an enormous crash and rumble in the sky above. Raphael gives a sigh and covers his eyes.

                  “Excuse me. I’ll be right back. I assume our Helel is here somewhere?” He heals his alternate self who nods. “Thank you.” Raphael heads up to heaven praying to his brother hoping that he’ll be able to help.

                  Sure enough every angel in heaven is more than slightly frightened and canfused as another Michael seemed to have appeared from no where and immediately found the first Michael and punched her in the face while haranging her for harming the nightingale. It’s confined to the archangel quarters at the moment, but most of it’s walls have already been demolished.

                “Michael!” Raphael exclaims,desperately hoping there’s another option between physically attempting to separate them. “What are you doing? Have you lost your mind? Stop this nonsense before you destroy half of heaven! What is wrong with you?” This distracts Michael enough to let Michael get in a decent uppercut. Not only because it’s Raphael scolding him but because he’s doing so exactly the way he scolds Gabriel.

                “Okay, what in the name of all that is, is going on?” Luci finally arrives. Raphael gives a slight double take at her vessel. “What? I hope you didn’t expect me to wear Sam.”

                 “Michael cut off Gabriel’s wings and I’m assuming Michael found out and lost his temper in a big way. So she is now beating the crap out of herself. I’m not entirely sure what to do as I don’t feel like accidentally dying again less than a day after being ressurrected.”

                  “They’ll be fine. You know you need to just let her see this through when she gets this way. Let’s just watch and wait until Mitcha no longer has an upper hand.”

                  “They’re both Michael, Helel.”Raphael snaps.

                  “Yes, but only one of them’s Mitcha. Understand?” He bops Raphael’s nose with his finger.

                  “Unfortunately, I think I do. Very well, it’s not as if they’re doing this on earth, at least.”

                  “Are you alright? What happened?” Luci asks, pulling his little brother aside as a column falls.

                  “I’d rather not talk about it. You’re clearly not well though.” Raphael frowns. “Sit. Let me see what I can do.”

                  “It’s been this way since I arrived.  Ariel looked me over, but all she could say was that I was dissonant. I went to ask other you but he told me to fuck off.”

                  “I see. Given you apparently once tortured him, I can’t say I blame him.” Raphael places his hand over his brother’s head. “I can’t believe you’re using Denny’s counterpart as a vessel. How long do you think she’s going to last?”

                  “I don’t know. Long enough for you to take a few pieces so you can resurrect her like you did Alex?” Luci looks at his brother hopefully. Raphael tightens his lips for a moment. “Please. You know she’s not where she should be because of me, because she helped me save you.”

                  “If we don’t all get destroyed by the darkness, then yes. I will do my best, but I can’t give her the same body. Her body was male, mutilated and altered into a womans without her knowledge or consent. I can’t… you can’t ask me to recreate that. And it also depends entirely on what she wants.”

                 “Thank you.” Luci smiles.

                 “It seems that the problem is that this isn’t your grace.” Raphael changes the subject. “It is, but at the same time it isn’t. You won’t stop hurting until you’re no longer shoved into it like the last piece of the strawberry shortcake puzzle.” Raphael explains. Luci can’t help but grin at this. They bought Shelly the puzzle but one of the peices got destroyed. In the name of teaching her consequences they made her buy another identical one to replace it. But she insisted on finding the missing peice in the new box instead of starting from scratch. She did but it seemed that they pictures were identical, but not the pieces.  So the closest match wouldn’t fit. She just shoved it in and hit it until it lay flat as it could, but it was a frayed awkward mess.

                 “Alright.” Luci gets up and stretches. “Let’s stop this so we can go take care of getting me put back where I belong. He waits for one Michael to throw the other,and flies in between them. “That’s enough. Both of you.” He holds out his hands spreading his wings. “We have to figure out what to do about… about… If you two want to kill each other, wait until afterwards. Now come on, we need to figure out what we’re going to do. I’m pretty sure it’s going to take all of us.” Luci turns ot his Michael. “And you,not even going to say hi, you asshole?”

                “My apologies, but it seems I needed some sense beaten into me.” Michael smiles back and quickly.

                “You’re the only one who could.” Luci looks back to Raphael. “Is Gabriel with you?”

                “Yes. She’s with Sam. I’d better get back before the darkness returns. She already tried to take Bree and Helel.” Michael puts his arms around Luci. “Let’s get you back into your body and send you home. You can go to the abyss with Alex and the children.”

                 “I said all of us, I meant all of us.” He holds onto Michael tightly. “I can handle this. I can handle it.” Luci insists.

                 “Do what you like.” The other Michael turns away, and walks into the wreck of her room. “Just do it without me.”

                 “Raphael?” Michael looks to her brother who’s looking at the bent winged, and otherwise damaged angel. 

                 “Alright.” He follows them down to see Gabriel launch herself at Bree. “Oh for the love of all that is.” He goes to try and pull his sister away as the other Raphael attempts to get ahold of Bree.

                 “What the hell did you do to my hair?” Luci exclaims upon seeing his old body.

                 “What do you mean? It was like this when I woke in it.” Helel frowns. “And what are you wearing?”

                 “Something from Hot Topic, I think.” Luci smooths out his shirt. There’s a laugh from one of the Gabriels that’s followed by a brief curse from one of the Raphaels.

                  “Is she terminally ill?” Helel demands. “On death row?”

                  “Don’t be absurd. Denny’s a wonderful righteous little rebel outcast.”

                  “You would ruin a life for no reason at all? What is wrong with you?” Helel demands indignantly. Luci just raises an eyebrow at this.

                  “Luci. A little help?” Michael asks as the Raphael’s give up, and move to the corner to let their older siblings take care of it.

                  “Raphael.” Other Raphael looks privately amused and offers his other self his hand.

                  “Raphael.” Raphael shakes it.

                  “I hear you had a baby. Congratulations.” Other Rapahel watches as Luci and Michael forcibly separate the Gabriels.

                  “Thank you. Her name is Abigail. Would you like to see a picture?” Raphael takes out his phone.

                  “Yes, of course.” He moves closer, to see better.

                  “Both of you, settle down.” Michael admonishes the Gabriels. “And stop fighting.”

                  “Mitcha, you know damn well you have no right to say that.” Luci gives her a look.

                  “She killed my brother, slept with my husband and threw my daughter out into the ether! If I want to fuck her up a little I think I have the right!” Gabriel yells angrily.

                  “Later, Paseh. Save existence first. Beat up our doppleganger’s later.” Luci kisses the top of her head. “I honestly never thought anyone would have to admonish both Gabriel and Michael for the same thing.”

                  “Michael picked a fight with herself, then?” Other Raphael asks dryly.

                  “Are you surprised?” Raphael swipes left. This is my niece. Here’s one I think you’ll like.” The other Raphael bursts out laughing and picks up the phone for a better look.

                  “Is that… Quetzalcoatl’s head?” He covers his mouth with one hand, still smiling.  Raphael nods. “Is there any possible way to get me a copy of that?”

                  “I’ll make you a poster.”

                  “Where are the Winchesters?” Michael asks looking around.

                  “They went with their Castiel and the demon to get some holy oil.” Helel explains. “Apparently we’ll need it.”

                  “Very well. We’ll meet up with the other Winchesters and have Castiel bring them to us. We’ll see about getting you your grace back shortly.” Michael reassure Helel. Other Raphael gives his brother a steady almost frightening look. Much to his surprise Helel just looks guiltily away.


	33. Full House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael tries to get Mirror-Michael to come join them  
> Sam and Dean meet Mary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. I finished the chapter yesterday and was going to type it up after I dyed my hair, but when I rinsed it out it turned out that only the roots were dyed blond and the rest of it was the same black I had dyed it before. It was horrible. So I freaked out and ended up spending the evening cutting the black from my hair leaving only a boyish cut of honey blonde that I kind of like. I was originally going to dye it blonde then dye it red in a day or two but after such a close call I'm not pressing my luck and will focus instead on catching up with my writing. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

          Michael sits in the ruins of her rooms just waiting for the darkness to come. Part of her wonders if this isn’t all just a hallucination. One of the nightmares of the cage. Maybe she was never actually released from it. Why else would a version of herself wearing John Winchester show up out of nowhere to exact vengeance for cutting off the wings of the wrong Gabriel.Saying thoughts she’s been fighitng so hard to push aside for the longest time.

         “Michael.” Further proof is that the strange Raphael that doesn’t seem to hate Helel in the slightest has returned. What does it all matter? All it does is remind her how much she misses her favorite song and how terrible that moment was. She was concentrating so hard on not thinking about what she was doing, what she had to do, in caging the nightingale, that she didn’t notice Raphael wasn’t himself until he pushed her. That instant when she realized what was happening she could have grabbed onto him, or struck at him. It was too late to extract herself from the pull of entry, but she could have taken him out in some way. 

         But then again, no she couldn’t have. In that moment of pure instinct, she couldn’t hurt her baby brother. Little Raphael who clung to her, loved her so desperately barely even tolerating their younger sister, always turning to Michael for comfort and guidance. He was the only one who ever loved Michael more than they did Helel. That she failed him, let him be twisted and corrupted by the devil herself into the cold heartless being that could do that to her, hurt her like nothing had ever hurt her before. She understood, finally, why Helel couldn’t bear to do what was needed with Gabriel. Why she had to do it herself, so he wouldn’t have to. 

         She wanted to do it, though. She wanted to hurt her. She wanted to make her suffer like Michael had suffered. But she can’t. How could Gabriel ever know how it feels to almost never know what the right thing to do is only to find out when you thought you knew, you were wrong. What does she know about trying your hardest all the time and never being able to fail without dire consequences and no matter how much you do right, it’s never enough. If only she could know how it feels to be abandoned and betrayed by one you cherished and loved more than almost anyone. But she won’t, because either none of this is real or it’s all going to end shortly.

          “Michael.” The new Raphael softly repeats her name, and puts a hand on her back between her wings. “I’m here to tend to your injuries.” Another sore spot. It was clear that Michael’s other self was weaker, and yet somehow a much better fighting. The soothing firm sensation of Raphael’s grace gently repairing and sealing her back together is one she hasn’t felt since before the Nightingale stole him away.

          “I cut off your wife’s wings and you  come heal me?”

          “Gabriel is not my wfie. I am not romantically involved with any of my siblings but i do love my sisters and don’t like to see them suffering.Neither am I one to judge. I’ve done terrible things in the name of righteousness myself. I used what’s right as an excuse to enact vengeance upon a brother and worse than what you did. I obliterated him and his vessel and am still suffering the consequences of that decision. I’m upset of course, but I understand.” Raphael sits with his back against the wall so he can face the other Michael, who doesn’t say anything. In truth she’s not sure what to say, if anything. “If I can say this without sounding patronizing, Michael is my favorite song. And no matter what Michael in what thread of existence, I will never be unaware of how wonderful an angel she is, what she can be for good or ill.”

          “Still assigning me the female gender in your thread I see.” Other Michael gives a big enough smile to show she doesn’t mind.  

          “Well, you are the strongest most dangerous feircest fighter. Especially when your babies are threatened. No one’s more frightening than Momma Miqa.” Raphael nudges her leg with his. She gives at the gesture , but her face falls again almost instantly. “The four of us can be absolutely wonderful together, you know. Helel and Gabriel with a karaoke battle, the three of you playing together, growing together healing together. It’s worth forgiving each other and sacrificing for each other.”

         “I beleive you.” Michael reaches out and gently caresses her baby brother’s cheek. “But here, it’s simply not possible. You’re lost to me forever and i can never forgive her for that. I’m sure that Helel will never forgive me. Even I hate myself apparently. It doesn’t matter, if it’s all real, then the darkness will come and return us all to the nothing from which we came.” She takes her hand back and looks away from him.

            “Michael, Helel needs you right now. Your brother is hurting and heartbroken and needs her big sister. The nightingale tried to kill her and I know you’re the only one right now who can really comfort him. There’s no one he loves moe than you. If there’s no hope and no point in fighting, isn’t there at least a point in going to the ones you love and comforting them in their last moments?” 

              Michael looks over to this Raphael. It’s unbelievable that she should hear Raphael, any Raphael advocating for Michael to act on Helel’s behalf. This one doesn’t know then, that Michael’s been replaced in Helel’s affections and has absolutely no need of her at all. Not while he has his broken irritation of a vessel.

              “Yes, if I could. But I can’t so I’m just going to say out of everyone’s way.”

              “We need you, Michael, the little ones need you, humanity needs you, and your brothers need you whether you believe it or not. Even Gabriel does, though she’s not capable of realizing it right now. I won’t try to force you to do anything, but please, know that you are welcome to join us at any time.” Raphael stand up. “If you’ll excuse me I have to go see about switches the peices back to their proper puzzles.” With that cryptic remark, Michael is left alone in the wreckage once again.

 

               Sam and Dean stand in the steet awkwardly looking at the house in front of them. The impala is in the driveway, but it looks different. The steel accents are a metallic purple for one, as are the rims and there’s something underneath it that Dean half thinkgs his a nitrous booster but given what that does to the engines, that’s just too sacriligious to contemplate. He almost wishes he’d insisted on waiting for Cas and Crowly to finish finding the rest of the holy oil to head here, but Sam was anxious to get back to his wife again, understandably.

               “Daddy!” They hear a pair of small children yell from an adjoining yard. Dean looks over just in time for the toddlers to attach themselves to his leg.

                “What the he… uh.. hello?”

                “Hi daddy!” the two golden haired children smile up at him.

                “You’re back early, hon. What’s this?” Jo walks up and tugs at his jacket. “Going for a mother-son look a like contest?” She pulls him down with it to give him a kiss. “Or maybe you’re just undercover.”

                 “Jo…” Dean just stares at her, not sure exactly what to say. Thankfully Sam doesn’t say anything.

                 “We’re going to Grandma Ellens with you.” The boy exclaims. “Grandpa Bobby’s going to let us have a sleep over in his special room!”

                 “We’re heading right there, too, so relax. But don’t think you’re getting rid of me so easily, Sherrif. Mom and dad are going to stay with the boys.” Jo pries the boy off his left leg. “Bobby John, Mary Ellen, give daddy a kiss and we have to get going.” She lifts the child up to give Dean a quick kiss ont he cheek and a hug, then puts him down to repeat it with the girl. “Alright you two, go to the car and buckle up.”

                   “Yes, mommy.” They run over to the crappy station wagon parked on the street next to the driveway. 

                  “I’ll see you at the Roadhouse.” Jjo heads off to the car. Sam puts his hand on Dean’s shoulder, moving closer.

                  “Do you think our inlaws are here already?” Dean forces himself to speak after a moment, though he just watches the car drive off. The twins waving as the pass him. He forces a smile and waves back.

                  “Hey!” They look up to see a young Claire at an upstairs window. “Are you coming in or are you just goig to stand in the street all day?”

                  “We’re coming.” Sam waves to her.

                  “Oh, evil things are only allowed on the back porch so we’re all back there with Bree.” She points behind her and vanishes into the house.

                  When they walk around to the back, almost everyone is there. There are a few burgers and hot dogs on the grill. The nightingale and her husband are arguing about something in the far corner of the yard. Helel in Luci’s body is talking to someone sitting at the table with his back to them, and a buzz cut. Gabriel is with a familliar looking young woman that he just can’t place. The young woman glares at Helel and the man as the angel takes his hand, and says something in enochian that starts an argument with Helel. Gabriel and the other Raphael glance over at each other and start laughing. This pisses off the nightingale even more than it does the new girl and Helel, and she storms off to the opposite corner.

                    “Luci doesn’t want Helel getitng chummy with this Sam while wearing his body.” Gabriel explains, earning herself an annoyed look from what must be her brother.

                    “Why would he care?” Dean frowns. Sam just rubs the bridge of his nose.

                     “Well, would you want someone getting freindly with someone you hate while wearing your body?” Sam points out quietly.

                     “That can’t be your evil twin.” Dean looks back to the buzzcut man who’s ignoring all but Helel. He especially doubts it as that Sam puts a hand on Helel’s cheek, speaking something quietly to calm him down. Helel actually seems to blush a little. “Okay, now that’s just disturbing.” Dean looks away. “Where’s Michael?”

                     “He’s escorting Raphael to heaven. Raph wanted to go check on the other Michael. Always the momma’s boy.” Gabriel rolls her eyes. “Other you is arranging for an emergency leave from work in case we don’t all die. The sherrif is so reponsible. Your mom is getting more stuff ready for the grill in the kitchen.” She points to the screen door.

                      “Our mom?” Sam looks over to it as does Dean, who quickly goes to open the screen door as Mary starts to push it open coming out backwards.

                      “I got it.” he says. 

                      “Thanks, hon.” She carries the steaks over to the grill. “Claire, you have the chips?”

                      “Yeah, coming.”Claire hurries out after her, bowls of chip and dip in hand. “Thanks Evil Twin.”

                      “What? No.. We’re not…” Dean lets go at the door. 

                      “Is.. is dad here?” Sam asks quietly. Mary turns around to look at them. 

                      “No. John died when you were an infant. When he was an infant.” She nods over to Mule who ignores her. “Home invasion.” Mary turns her gaze to Dean, and gives him a soft smile. “I see you have my fashion sense.” He can’t help but notice they’re wearing almnost the same thing. Same boots, same jacket, jeans, similar shirt.

                      “I guess I do.” Dean smiles back. “So you just… stayed here?”

                      “I had two children who needed some stability. This was your home, that man took your father, he wasn’t going to take that from you as well.” she shakes her head.  “Did something happen to this place in your universe?”

                      “Yeah.” The look in Deans eyes makes Mary decide not to ask.

                      “Was he a good father?” She’s not sure why she asked that as her son’s face tells her she doesn’t want to know that either.

                      “Hell no.” Gabriel answers so they don’t have to. “You died and he lost his damn mind. They’re still scarred by a life of abuse and neglect. Yeah they’re heroic selfless and the most lethal hunters alive, but…”  

                      “You’re hunters?” Mary looks absolutely appalled by this.

                      “Born and raised.” Dean forces a smile.

                      “Is he on his way? I have a few things to say to him about that.” Mary clenches her jaw. Mule gets to his feet.

                       “You believe that? Them? That replacement devil?” he points to Gabriel. “They aren’t us. What the hell do any of them know about my father?”

                       “I know your father, Sam, better than you did.”  Mary says quietly. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but it’s not…” Mule just storms inside, slamming the door behind him. “For future reference, that’s a bit of a sore subject. He watns to believe that his father was wonderful, which he was but Sam wants to believe he was only ever wonderful. I loved John but I knew he could be a bastard. You’d have to be to handle me.And my familiy. And he was broken as most men are broken after war. Or hunting.” Mary crosses her arms and closes her eyes for a moment. “So, well,welcome to our end of the world cookout. Care for  a beer? Hold on I have more in the garage.” She excuses herself as she sees the cooler is empty.

                       “No luck?” Sam asks Raphael as he returns with their Michael.    

                      “I don’t know.” He shakes his head. “I did my best but it’s not as if they have a similar relationship to the one Michael and I do. Where’s the uncorrupted one?” Raphael looks around for Helel. Luci says something irritable to his little brother who just makes the sign against evil in his direction, confusing Dean as he didn’t picture Raphael as a heavy metal fan.

                      “Almost, Raph.” Luci reaches over and moves Raphael’s thumb out. “There you go. Love you too, baby brother.” he pat’s Raphael’s head as he passes. “I’ll go get him before he renders my body uninhabitable. ”

                       “How did you switch them?” The other Raphael asks Bree. She just crosses her arms and glares at him. “You’re being absurd. Being jealous of humans is irrational enough, but being jealous of yourself?”

                       “That is NOT me!”

                       “I know that, Bree. And this isn’t the time for this. We are in trouble now and we need you to help Helel be at his best for this fight.”

                        “Really, because the last time I went out of my way for Helel’s sake, I lost everything I ever cared about. I’m not exactly eager to go for round two!” Bree turns her back to him. Her husband just stands there silently for a moment before walking towards the gate. Claire starts to go after him but he dissappears into the ether.

                         “You know, that was the cruelest thing you have ever said, you… heartless bitch!” Claire turns around angrily. Bree just ignores her so she takes her shoe off and throws it at the angel. Much to their surprise it not only hits her square in the back of the head but with enough force to make her stagger forwards.

                       “Babe.” Sam chides his wife who gives him her sweetest dimpled smile.

                       “What?” She puts her hands behind her back looking innocently up at the sky.

                        “Don’t start another fight.”

                        “Why not? Helel is.”She points up to the second floor of the house where they can hear shouting in enochian again.”

                        “I’ll take care of this.” Michael sighs and vanishes, presumably going upstairs.

                        “What are they yelling about?” Dean frowns up at the house.

                        “Luci’s just mercilessly tearing Helel a new one about pretty much everything about himiself. It’s not pretty and nothing we don’t already know about him. Though I’m sure a few things are new to Helel,”

                         “ Man, I guess nobody hates Lucifer like Lucifer.” Dean rubs the back of his neck.

                        “That’s far more true than you know.” Raphael walks over to Gabriel. “I think she somehow switched the heart of them. If you could tell me how to remove them we coudl proably each remove and replace one to the other. We’ll have to pause time of course.” 

                        “I’ll do that so you can focus on the vessels. Think you could make a copy of Denny while you’re at it?”

                        “You can pause time?” Bree turns around at this, staring at the angels.

                        “Well, yeah. You can’t?”

                        “No, none of us can alter or travel in time in any way. Well, just the one direction, but what the hell. I can’t believe you can.”

                        “Gabriel’s the best at it. But we call can. It takes an insane amount of energy. Pausing, not so much, though, especially for me. Hey, what if I got a whole bunch of the building blocks together so you don’t have to just manifest the whole body  from thin air.”

                        “That would help a great deal.” Raphael concedes.

                        “Alright, hold on,” Gabriel straightens up oddly, then stops with an absolutely heartbreaking look on her face.

                        “I’ll have Castiel bring it back with the holy oil. Are you sure you feel up to this?” Raphael moves closer, putting a hand on her arm. 

                        “Yes. Let’s go make sure no one’s died.” Gabriel heads inside as it goes oddly silent. Hopefully Michael’s just bubbled the sound. she snaps her fingers on the way and the burgers and hot dogs from the grill appear on the plate instead.

                        “Where is everybody? “Mary carries out a couple six packs and puts one in the cooler.

                        “The devil and her consort had a spat, Lucifer yelling at Lucifer who’s with your Sam, and our Michael went to break it up. I have no idea where your Michael is. my sister in law and her brother have gone up to put the Lucifer’s back in the correct packaging and Cas and Crowley are fetching holy oil and some other stuff. Oh well, speak of the devil.” Dean smiles as Castiel reappears. “Where’s Crowley?”

                         “He is procuring more holy oil.”

                         “Cas, the whole reason we had you two go together is so he wasn’t out there unsupervised.” Dean covers his face.

                         “Yes, but given the fact that there is a hole ripped between threads of reality, I believe we can at least trust him to aid us in fighting the darkness.”

                          “Oh for, Cas, did you seriously just say we can trust the demon?” 

                          “No, I said…”

                          “What’s a demon?” Mary asks. The two of them fall silent.

                          “It’s um, like a ghost infested with darkness that can use souls to make things happen. They’re evil and powerful. Almost as powerful as an angel.” Sam explains.

                           “You mean like the fallen angels?” Mary frowns. “The ones that left heaven to persue a life of amoral hedonism.”

                           “Kind of. But they were people once that were sent to hell and sort of rose through the ranks, they’re the best at all or some of the particular sins. Crowly started out as a salesman. Some demons trade power, money, love etc, for a human’s soul.” Sam continues.

                           “I see. That doesn’t alot here. Tell me, do many people sell their souls for drugs?” Mary looks at Sam out of the corner of her eye.

                          “No.” Crowley answers appearing beside them, “They would but a little known fact is that we only buy souls that we wouldn’t otherwise be getting. Often enough by the time a person would sell their souls for a hit, they’re already ours. Plus Azrael made it clear in no uncertain terms that she considers the contracts of those who sign while mentally ill or enfeebled to be invalid and refuses to honor them. It’s unfortunate that contracts must meet the standard of the day. Frankly it’s not worth the effort.”  he gives Mary a bow. “Crowley, once and future King of Hell. You are clearly a Winchester.” Mary looks at him a moment then turns back to Dean.

                          “You work with one of these ‘demons’?”

                           “Quite frequently.” Crowly straightens up. “Oddly enough our interests seem to align quite frequently. Best frenemies, and all that.”

                           “He does occaisionally come in handy.” Dean confesses giving Crowley a look. 

                           “Fine, go wait over there in the evil corner of the yard with the nightingale while I talk with the boys.” Mary points over to Bree who’s kicking an old stump.

                           “As you wish. Do you mind if I have a lager?”

                           “Yes.” Mary takes it from him  and hands it to Dean who hands it to Sam as Crowly walks a respectable distance away.  Mary automatically takes the been from Sam before he can open it. “What are you doing Dean? You know your brother can’t drink.”

                            “What?” Sam frowns.

                            “Yeah, no, actually, I’m the alcoholic.” Dean takes it back from her and gives it to Sam again.

                             “Sorry.” Mary looks them over, a little embarrassed. “So, Sam the second. What’s with the hair?” She reaches up and musses it a little as he drinks. “Did you miss the last few barber appointments? You know I have some clippers upstairs…

                             “Um, mo...Mar….. ma’am.” Sam stumbles over what to call her. “There’s um, there’s something you should know about our Michael.”

                              “Dean’s not his vessel. I realizes that when you said your Michael is elsewhere. “ She cracks open a beer  and leans back onto the table. 

                           “Yeah,no, um, He has his own body now, but it’s.. it might be a little difficult seeing it. For you. I’m not sure how to…”

                           “Spit it out Sammy.”  Mary smiles, pinching his nose and gives it a little wiggle. “I’m a big girl. I can handle it.” 

                           “Well, it’s… it’s dad.” Sam points out. 

                           “Yeah, that’s right. He’s wearing 25 year old John Winchester.” Dean snaps his fingers. Sam gives him an odd look.

                           “Did you seriously forget that?” He asks.

                           “Give me a break. Michael’s nothing like dad. He’s way too… Michael to ever be mistaken for him more than visually and not for long at that. Besides it’s just way too weird to think about. Kind of gives me a new appreciation for Claire’s predicament, you know.” Dean rubs the back of his neck and glances over to the young Claire. “Dad’s not in there though. He gave permission, but he’s staying in heaven with you. He never got over you.”

                            “Yeah. It’s not perfect but it was love.” Mary sighs. “So, you two are hunters. I assume that means, no home, no family, a criminal record you could drown in, constant flirting with Death.”

                             “Actually we’re Semi-retired.” Sam gives a smile. “We have a home, an old men of letters bunker. I’m married to well, Gabriel, our Gabriel. We have a wonderful daughter. We also set up a hunter’s school and sanctuary for  hunters and vessels and their families. They can learn to be hunters. Angels can learn to be proper guests and communicate with their vessels, and vessels learn how to be vessels, what their rights and abilities are. In return we have angels keeping watch over the camp and also a few specializing in cleaning up after a hunt. We have hunter apprenticeships. Dean takes a few out on more basic jobs. I teach a few classes.”

                             “I don’t suppose you went to college.”Mary looks at him hopefully.

                             “Four years, prelaw at Stanford.” Sam confesses. “I had a full ride for law school, well, almost, not that I ever made it to the interview.”

                              “Well, he managed to get you to go to college when I couldn’t, so he can’t have done all that badly by you.” Mary smiles proudly. Sam just forces himself to smile in return. Dean looks awkwardly away. “And what about my Dean? Do you and Jo have any kids or did you decide not to because of hunting?”

                              “No. She…. she died a long time ago. With Ellen. We… we weren’t actually like that anyways. She was kind of a little sister to me. I am involved though. Cas?” He looks back to Castiel who’s looking at the young Claire who’s sitting sullenly on a swingset, resting her head against the chain. “Cas…”

                              “Yes. Dean?” He looks back over. Dean waves him closer and puts an arm around his waist.

                              “This is Castiel, Cas. He’s an angel. My angel. We’re… you know, together.” Dean rubs the back of his neck. “He and Sam are kind of best friends, too.”

                              “Huh,” She looks him over. “Well, Thanks for taking care of my babies, Castiel.”  

                              “The pleasure is all mine, Mrs. Winchester.”


	34. What's in a name?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the Winchesters and their angels get assigned code names

                             "Are you two finished yet?" Raphael asks as Luci and Helel just glare at each other,

                             "I certainly have nothing more to say to this bastard." Helel clenches his teeth.

                             "Both of you, enough." Michael scolds them.

                             "Oh shut up you fucking hypocrite." 

                             "Don't talk to her that way!"

                             "He does kind of have a point." Raphael nods to Luci getting a bewildered look from Helel. Michael just crosses his arms, unable to deny it. Luci gives a smug smile and pats his little brother's head. "Stop it. And don't be an asshole just because you're pissing yourself off." He brushes Luci's hand away. Gabriel just snickers. "Now do you want to get back where you belong or not?"

                              "No, not really." Luci says cooly. "Not unless you brought me my grace to go up against Amara with." Michael reaches over to put a comforting hand on the back of his brother's neck. "I'm fine." he mutters, hugging his arms to himself.

                              "No. I didn't. I wasn't sure it was a good idea." Raphael confesses.

                              "Why the hell not, you brat?" Luci looks slightly hurt.

                              "I don't really think you're ready to have your grace back." Raphael looks down.

                              "And who exactly put you in charge of that decision?"

                              "You did when you gave it to me. But why don't we ask your parole officer. Gabriel?" Raphael turns to her, getting her back for every single prank she's ever pulled on him, the bastard.

                              "Oh for... you, Helel, if Luci doesn't agree to this or flies off, your best bet at getting him back here is to just kiss your Mule as passionately as you can, and well, just go from there. " Gabriel points to the angel who's eyes widen just as much as Mule's at this suggestion.

                              "You mean the best way to get murdered." luci gives a sweet terrifying smile that Gabriel and Helel aren't exactly sure which one he's of them he's refferring to. Both probably.

                              "As if I would ever do anything that... unrepentant hedonist suggested. Much less force myself on my vessel in anyway under any circumstances. We are not that much alike." Helel's fists clench.  Mule gets to his feet, presumably to leave the room ,but when he walks past Helel, he turns and bending slightly, takes hold of his face and kisses him. Helel's face turns beet red at this.

                              "Don't." Michael grabs Luci's wrists.

                             "Give him back what belongs to him or next time I use tongue." Mule gives Luci a cold look.

                              "Wow, okay, i didn't think he'd actually do it." Gabriel covers her eyes.

                              "Samuel, please go downstairs."  Michael's tone makes it clear it's not a question.

                              "I'm not leaving him alone with the four of you." Mule looks him right in the eye.

                              "It's fine, Mule." Helel says quietly, cheeks still red.

                              "I don't like you being alone with Raphael in this vulnerable state." Mule emphasizeas.

                              "This one... it's alright. Trust me." He smiles, refraining from reminding Mule that he can't exactly do anything against four archangels regardless... "Besides you know if Michael asked you to wait outside you should wait outside." 

                              "You always do everything she says don't you?' Mule snaps. Michael and Luci just exchange incredulous looks at this.

                              "I do when she's right." Helel replies softly, gently touching his arm. "Go... help your mother with the grill. I'll be with you in a moment."

                              "I'll be waiting in the hall." Mule walks outside.

                              "Helel. Please. i know you're frightened. We can discuss your grace afterwards." Michael brushes a few strands of hair from Luci's face. "I swear, i won't let anything happen to you again."

                              "You know, Denny doesn't mind at all if you kiss me." Luci flirts.

                              "I mind." Is Michael's apologetic reply. 

                              "The Lysistrata gambit huh? Fine. Go ahead and do whatever. Just make sure to take care of Denny." Luci sighs.

                              "Helel. Do you intend to keep using your Sam as a vessel, or would you like me to craft you a new one?" Raphael asks.

                              "You can do that?" Helel looks as astonished as he feels.

                              "Yes. It's difficult but as we're going to be making a copy of Denny's body for our Denny to use later, if i adjust it to make it a good vessel you can use it in the meantime." Raphael confesses. At least that way it wouldn't seem quite so... indulgent.

                              "Besides having your own body would give us more people in the fight." Gabriel points out. Michael and Luci just tighten their lips.

                              "We do have the stuff." Gabriel picks up a heavy bag and gives her eldest sibling a hopeful grin.

                              "Very well, if you have Denise's permission, I won't object." Michael sighs. Luci just shrugs and shakes his head.

                              "I will have to go up to heaven briefly to recharge and it's starting to seem like the second i leave, you all have a contest as to who can maim themselves the most severely." 

                              "You won the last race." Michael retorts sarcastically, much to Gabriel's delight. Helel just stares at them. They're all insane. Ever single one of them. 

 

                             Sam walks over to the staircase and looks up to where Mule is standing at ease by the closed door to a room. 

                            "Hi." He walks up the stairs. "I thought we should probably meet. I'm Sam, I generally just go by Sam. I heard you prefer Mule?" Sam offers his hand. Mule just looks him over in an uncomfortably familiar manner. He's being appraised and clearly found wanting. 

                           "Is this how the son of a marine carries himself?" Mule asks, the tenor of his voice makes Sam straighten up a little automatically, before he catches himself.

                           "This is how a teacher carries himself."

                           "A teacher.' Mule repeats.

                           "Dean and i run a hunter's school and sanctuary for their families. and the families of vessels." For some reason this response seems to irritate Mule.

                           "Did you serve?"

                           "No."

                           "I didn't think so, but I wanted to be sure." Mule crosses his arms. "Some veterans let themselves go when they're out. Your father let you wear your hair like that?"

                            "No. I started growing it out at Stanford." Sam self consciously raises his hand to his hair.

                            "Stanford? What are you some kind of hippy?" The question makes Sam blink. “You were a hunter, weren’t you. how did you pass yourself off as any kind of government official with a mane like that. It’s not even close to a regulation cut.”

                  “Confidence. And most people aren’t familiar with FBI regulations beyond the cheap suits.” Sam rubs the back of his neck. Mule just shakes his head. “You want to come on down? Have a drink?”

                  “No.” Is the curt reply.

                 “I know this is strange.”

                  “I have nothing to say to you. I don’t particularly feel like bonding with the person I could have been and I don’t want to learn more about you and your perfect life and flawless mortal fortitude.”

                  “My what?” Sam’s eye widen. “Okay, we really need to talk.” The door to the room opens and Luci walks out looks to each Sam breifly before turning and punching Mule in the face.

                  “If you ever touch this body like that again, regardless of who’s in it, you will not enjoy what happens afterwards.” Luci storms downstairs.

                  “What?” Sam looks after him as a new girl with Luci’s eyes comes out and goes over to Mule, gently tapping his forehead.

                  “I’m sorry about that.” She apologizes gently.

                 “Helel? Mule looks crestfallen. “What… why are you…”

                 “This way we add two bodies in the fight instead of just one. You don’t need me when it comes to war.” She explains with a kind gentle tone that Sam hasn’t heard in a long time. It’s all the more disconcerting as it’s sincere.

                “That’s when I’ll need you the most.” Mule bows his head.

                “I’m still here. At your side, whenever you need me to hold your hand. I’ll just actually be able to hold your hand.” Helel takes his hand. Sam just turns and walks down the stairs, leaving the two behind. Holy mother of god that’s disturbing.

                “Samcake! Catch!” He turns around at the base to see her slide down the bannister right into his arms. “Shall we make everyone extremely uncomfortable?” She winks, and wraps her legs around his waist.

                “I think we’re all extremely uncomfortable already.” Mary comments cooly, giving Gabriel a dark look. She gives a sheepish smile and stands up straight.

                “Eat blue shell mother fucker!” They hear Claire exclaim.

                “Hey, watch your fucking mouth young lady.” Mary points to the living room with a grin. Claire just grins and shrinks down a bit.

                “Is that Mario Kart?” Denny runs down the stairs.

                “Oh you bastard. How the hell did you do that?” Claire tosses a pillow up to the couch at Luci who grins and speeds ahead.

                “Shit on a stick, I forgot about the steaks.” Mary runs out the back.

                “Your mom’s kind of cool.” Denny comments to Claire.

                “She’s not my mom. My mom’s dead.” Claire sighs as Luci hands Denny the controller.

                “You sure?”

                “Yeah, I took over for Castiel so he could go guard Bree and Hell’s jester.”

                “Thanks.” She sits down on the floor next to Claire. “Step mom?”

                “No. I was abducted by the devil when I was ten and raised by her husband so my dad would agree to be one of her lackey’s vessels. You?”

                “Run away. I found out my mom gave me gender reassignment surgery as an infant after a botched circumcision so I’m not going back. You’re cute. Run away with me?” she winks. Claire laughs and shakes her head.

                 “I think the world’s about to end, so yeah… sorry.” She shrugs.

                 “Oh. Well, that sucks.”

                 “You can’t keep avoiding her, Michael.” Raphael says as he walks down the stairs. “It’s really better for her to deal with it now instead of during battle.”

                 “You may have a point.” Michael admits and steps out of the other. “Where’s your counterpart?”

                 “I’m not certain he and his wife had a fight. He needed a moment. If we just let him know when we’re all ready to meet, he’ll return.”

                  “Ooo, who’s that?” Denny leans over to see Michael before he goes to the dining room.

                 “My fiancee, so don’t even think about it. “ Luci nudges her shoulder with his foot.

                 “You know we’re going to have to figure out how to keep all of us straight when we’re planning everything.” Dean says, leaning back in the dining room chair. “We all have the same names. How will we know who we’re talking about?”

                 “Common sense?” Raphael suggest dryly. “Never mind.” the implied lack of common sense in all involved is clear.

                  “Hey, someone snap me up a whiteboard will you?” Dean gets to his feet as a white board and markers appear. “Thanks. Alright. So code names. Sammy and me will of course be Batman and Robin.” He writes it down.

                  “No, we won’t. I’m fine as Sam. The other Sam prefers Mule.” Sam shrugs.

                  “Alright, we have two Sams, Deans, Michaels, Gabriels, Lucifers, Raphaels. Are there two Cas? Probably.” Dean writes the names in two columns.

                   “Don’t forget to distinguish which list is which. “Sam points out.

                   “Right. Um… okay.” Dean writes Evil Luci-verse over one, and Evil Gabriel-verse over the other. “Okay, so Sam is Sam, other Sam is Mule… Really?” He looks back and Gabriel nods. “I’m Batman.”

                   “Not calling you batman, Dean.”

                   “Okay, I’m not batman.  Does the other Dean have a nickname or something?”

                   “We usually just call him The sheriff.” Mule joins them, with Helel at his side, sitting disturbingly close.

                   “Okay. Sheriff it is.” Dean writes that down over Mule. “I’ll be…”

                   “You can be Dean?” Sam suggests.

                   “Fine for now.” Dean  goes to the next name on the list. “Okay, Gabriels. Evil Gabe is the nightingale, of course.”

                   “She prefers Bree.” Helel says as he and Mule come into the dining room.

                   “Yeah, I don’t give a fuck.” He writes Nightingale. Helel snaps his fingers changing it to Bree.

                    “I do.”

                    “Alright. That’s simpler at least.”

                    “Put me down as Babe.” Gabriel raises her hand.

                    “I’m not calling you Babe.” Dean informs her flatly.

                    “You don’t have to call me. I’m right here.” She smiles and starts to snicker when he beans her with the eraser.

                    “I’ll just put you down as Pain-in-the-ass, PITA for short.”

                    “Alright. What are we doing?” Mary comes back in with a plate of blackened steaks.

                    “Mom, please tell me you didn’t burn the steaks again.” They hear as the front door opens.

                   “I didn’t burn the steak, the grill did.” Mary protests, and walks to the door to give her favorite son a warm kiss on the cheek. “Welcome home, Dean.”

                   “Hi, mom. And I told you to wait for me, didn’t I?” He looks up, blinking slightly at all the faces familiar and not. “Well, this is a full house.”

                   “Oh you’ve got to be shitting me.” Dean’s eyes widen as he sees Sheriff Winchester in full uniform, hat sunglasses, everything. “You’re an actual law enforcing Sheriff.”

                   “As opposed to the law breaking kind?” Sam quips, then smiles. “Say isn’t that an elected position? Like with campaigning?”

                   “Well, not much campaigning. I mean, I did take Lawrence to the National wrestling championships all four years of high school. Graduated third in my class, I’ve been keeping Lawrence safe for over a decade.” The Sheriff hangs up his hat.

                   “Any word from Michael?” Mary asks.

                   “No, not yet. “The Sheriff shakes his head and looks over at the board. “I thought we weren’t having the pow-wow until we got to the Roadhouse.

                   “We’re just assigning code names.” Mary puts an arm around his back and leads him to the table.

                   “I’ll be Iron Man.” He pulls out a chair for his mother. She just shakes her head and heads back to the kitchen so he sits down instead.

                   “I’m not calling you Iron Man, Sheriff.” Mule says cooly.

                   “Moving onto the Lucifers.”

                   “They both hate being called that.” Gabriel reminds him. “Ours is Luci, theirs is Helel. Easy enough.”

                   “Alright. Moving onto the Michaels.”

                   “Only one is here,so I don’t know why we need to distinguish.” Luci walks over to stand beside Michael.

                    “He’ll show up.” The Sherrif looks back, “Who are you two?”

                    “I’m Luci, this is Michael.” They each put an arm around each others waist.

                    “Why aren’t you using your vessels?” The Sheriff frowns, ignoring the incestuous overtones of the gesture.. Mary is studiously ignoring the angel behind her, though she’s clearly tense.

                   “We really don’t have the time to get into that.” Michael deflects the question much to everyone’s releif.

                   “Fine. what about, Michael Prime and Beta Mike?” The Sheriff suggests.

                   “No.” Michael says firmly. “If my counterpart shows up then assign him something, but I am here so I am keeping my name.”

                   “Alright.”

                   “Since he and the Sheriff co-inhabit you could always call him ’the deputy’.” Gabriel volunteers earning her an unamused vaguely hostile mirrored sunglasses glance from the Sheriff. Though her Dean gives a slight chuckle.

                    “For now he’s just tardy.” Dean actually writes down tardy with a lowercase T. “Alright. The Raphael’s.”

                    “No. “Raphael says bluntly.

                    “We can’t just call you both Raphael. How do we distinguish who should do what when we’re planning?”

                    “It doesn’t matter. Whichever of us is nearest will respond.”

                    “Nope. We get Nicknames, you get nicknames.” Gabriel teases.

                    “Alright,” Dean continues, “Since the other one’s not here, he’ll get the nickname.” the room’s fairly silent. “Yeah, that’s a hard one. Healer2? Raphael Classic?”

                    “The devil’s consort?” The Sheriff suggests a dryly.

                    “No.” Raphael and Luci both say at once and in the exact same tone threatening untold pain if disregarded.

                    “They’re talking about a different Devil.” Gabriel teases looking back at them. They both just give her the same deadly glare. It’s surprising how alike they are even though you generally only notice when they’re together.

                    “I’ll take the code name, just call him Raphael.” Raphael sighs. “He’s endured enough trauma. But as a warning, if you even mention turtles I will smite you. If I’m feeling kind it’ll be fatal.”

                    “You can smite someone and not kill them?” Mary can’t help but ask.

                    “I can. You can be surprised what you can live through.”

                    “Maybe Satan in training would be a better choice.” The Sherrif isn’t helping matters.

                    “What do you say, Raph?” Luci grins at his little brother who is not amused.

                    “What I say is not fit for human ears.”

                    “Hmmm.. how about...maminsynek?” Gabriel suggests, with a wicked grin.

                    “Only if you change yours to Backpfeifengesicht.”

                    “Please keep it to things I can pronounce and preferably spell.” Dean requests. Gabriel looks at Luci who meets her eyes and gives an equally wicked grin and a nod.

                    “Labbiel.” Gabriel says with barely contained mirth.

                    “I swear by all that is if you say that name again, you will never find your leg”

                    “This leg?”  Gabriel lifts her intact right leg and wiggles her foot in the air. Raphael’s expression implies he forgot that she didn’t have the prosthetic anymore, but he doesn’t recant.

                    “She’s just teasing you because she likes you.” Luci reassures him. Raphael and Gabriel both flip him off. Gabriel does so with both hand.

                    “Do we know if there’s anything either of you is used to being called other than your names.” Sam asks. “If not there’s not really going to be anything that sounds good.

                    “Besides, useless brat? No.” Raphael shakes his head.

                    “What about April?” Michael suggests. Raphael does respond to that but doesn’t look too thrilled giving the slightest of winces.

                    “Well that’s random as hell.” The Sheriff looks back at him, peering over his sunglasses.

                    “Not really.” Raphael sighs, covering his eyes with his hand. Anything to spare his other self this irritation. “Very well. We’ll go with April.”

                    “Alright. Let’s go eat, then head to the roadhouse.” Mary picks up the steaks again and heads outside, still not looking at Michael.

              

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> miminsynek- (polish) Momma's Boy  
> backpfeifengesicht- (german) a face that badly needs a fist in it


	35. Lucifer, Patron Saint of the Fallen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone gets some rest at the roadhouse before the meeting after closing. Helel and Mule have some questions answered.

                “Alright., so that’s Dean and Jo in the guest room, a room each for the hunters,” Ellen hands Dean and Sam each a room key. “One for Mule, the kiddies are camping out in the safe room. Winchester.” She cooly hands Mary a key.

                “Harvelle.” Mary takes it and walks off.

                “And you need one too?” She holds up a key for Luci.

                “Yes, Thank you.” He takes it without any enthusiasm.

                “Alright. Get some rest and we’ll see everybody at 3 to plan.” Ellen holds the door open for them, and looks over to her husband. “Well this is a hell of a mess. The end of the world.”

                “It had to happen sometimes.” Bobby gives her a kiss. “At least I met you first.”

                “Yeah.” She pats his arms as he puts them around her. “Well, the world’s not ending tonight. So back to work for us. And don’t forget, tell the hunters to use holy oil to combat any corruption like they told us.”

                 “I remember. I’m taking it with a grain of salt, though. These aren’t our boys. We don’t know them. Just be careful.”

                  “I will.” she heads back into the bar.

                  Mule puts his bag on the chair by the window and starts doing push ups. There are too many thoughts at the edge of his mind that he doesn’t feel like thinking. He can’t afford to start thinking now of all times. Stanford. Law school. Married,kids, stable job, stable home. He’s everything his mother wants. Everything Mule’s not. Kinder, softer, gentler. He’s a Samuel Winchester that people can love and trust, that much is obvious. One his big brother respects.

                   The way he and his brother interacts. It’s like Helel and Michael at their best. They’re even in sinc, the way they move around each other, the way they think. Mule tries to tell himself that his counterpart is soft but you don’t lie to be a thirty something hunter being soft. What must it be like to live a life free of mistakes, where you lived a life free of mistakes, where you lived up to your potential, and never let your family down, or your freinds.

                    Mule stops and closes his eyes. It’s not enough of a distraction. If Helel was there with him, they could talk. But he chose another vessel. Another one. Sure he said it was for an extra pair of hands, but Helel would be too kind to say the real reason, that after meeting a Samuel Winchester like that one, Mule could never be enough for him again. God only knows, Helel deserves a better vessel than him.

                    “You don’t actually believe that, do you?” Helel appears and crouches down before him. Mule would ask how he heard, but he can’t deny he’d been longing for his angel fairly strongly. 

                     “I don’t know. But you know Michael has never approved of me.”

                     “Michael’s not exactly the brightest light in heaven. She doesn’t really understand much besides fighting and duty. At least not anymore. “Helel shrugs.

                     “You’re mad at him.” Mule concludes,sitting up. “Because of the other Bree’s wings?”

                     “Yes. I don’t know what to do anymore.” Helel bows his head. “I don’t. To be honest I’d almost be ready for the end of the world, if it weren’t for the fact that you’re in it.”

                    “Same.” Mule sits up and moves next to the angel. He knows better than to take him literally. Helel’s a bit of a drama queen sometimes. And now he’s in the perfect body for it.

                    “What?” Helel gives him a wry grin, noticing his smile. 

                    “Nothing. Just you being you.” Mule nudges him with his shoulder.“So, how’s womanhood?”

                    “Same as it ever was. But a lot more comfortable than usual.”

                    “I always thought you were just male.”

                    “That is the general consensus, but angels don’t actually have genders. The female vessel is just as strange as a male vessel. I prefer the male one but only because of how people treat them. I would honestly prefer something neuter but they’re not usually vessels. Did you know that the other you and the other me hate each other?” Helel changes the subject.

                    “That looked more like jealousy than hate to me, honestly.” Mule has to admit.

                    “Yes, but it’s not… romantic jealousy. it’s more… when I was young I had this flower I was trying to make, but it wasn’t what I wanted, and didn’t grow right, and I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong.  I hated it and finally gave up on it. And then Raphael looks at it, touches it and it blossoms into everything I had wanted it to be. I was angry and jealous and crushed it, obliterating it. I was angry and jealous,  not because I cared about the flower, but because I wanted to be able to do what he did and I couldn’t. And it stung to see him do it so very easily. I had always been better than him at everything but healing, and he was made specifically for healing so I could ignore that. I never tried to create anything again.” Helel remembers the look on his little brother’s face when he did that. A face so happy and proud and hopeful and in one instant it was just gone, crushed with the flower. Raphael almost cried, but he’d gotten better at stopping his tears by then.

                   “It’s hard having a big brother like you or Dean to try and live up to. Or Michael.” Mule puts a hand on Helel’s arm. Despite the fact he’s not quite rebuking Helel for his confession.

                   “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you, Samuel. Not that isn’t wrong with him as well. He had a different life, different experiences, different external factors affecting his growth. If they had been exactly the same as yours he’d be just eh same as you. If as you think, this is you at the worst you could be, then you could never be anything but a good, kind, brave, intelligent loving man. I see pieces of my father in you more clearly than anyone else I’ve met.

                   “And you know me better than anyone else because of that. Because of how much I can trust you. No matter what I tell you, you understand and accept me anyways. I only ever had that before with Him.” Helel stops talking as he suddenly feels embarrassed. Maybe that was a bit much. It’s true, but still maybe it’s a bit much.

                   “That…” Mule isn’t quite sure what to say. The complement makes him feel more pleased and flustered and bewildered than anything else anyone ever said. “It’s not often a  girl can tell a man he reminds her of her father and actually have that be the greatest compliment he ever received, and not just disappointing”

                   “You are made in his image after all. I never really understood before now. I never really thought much of you. Humanity, I mean.” Helel scrunches up his nose at the confession.

                   “I noticed.” Mule smiles. Helel’s benevolence is more like one of taking care of animals or endangered species. “I never believed a kind loving God could even exist until you came. You bathed me in your light and took my hand when I was at my lowest and lifted me up. With all your flaws, your pride, and stubbornness, Not that I’m one to talk about being stubborn. But what I mean is, I think that Lucifer is a perfect name for you, and not the mockery you seem to think it is. Because, Lightbringer, no matter how terrible anything seems, you always chase the darkness away, you and the light that makes you my angel and dearest companion.”

                   “Silly Mule, You are my light.” Helel’s not taken by surprise as much this time when Mule kisses her. Though somehow it’s both more and less exciting. The sensation of touch is dulled now that he has his grace back. But it’s more wonderful because of the fact that he’s choosing to kiss him, out of pure affection. It makes him feel downright giddy with happiness.  Even the sensation of just touching him is like sharing a space, but it isn’t. This is Mule’s lips on his lips, his hand on his cheek, so sharply defined and separite but so cleary desiring to be one.

                    “I’m sorry.” Mule suddenly pushes away. “I… apologize to your vessel for me.”

                    “It’s not really a vessel.” Helel looks down at ti if only to avoid looking him in the eye. What was he thinking. He successfully manages to avoid eating, but he gets his body back and he starts to indulge in the most forbidden of human indulgences? “It’s just… a body. On loan of course. It’s… Raphael made it for my temporary use. The other Raphael. The one I didn’t torture into the fold.” Helel clenches his fists. Definitely not a better topic to think about. “When we’re done, if we survive.He’s taking it back to their world to resurrect a friend of Luci’s. so, no one to apologize, too.”

                   “Except you. I’m sorry. I… you’re an angel. I’m surprised you didn’t smite me for defiling you that way.” Mule moves away, his cheeks red.

                    “It’s alright. I know you’re lonely and it’s a fairly attractive body.” Not that it doesn’t absolve Helel for either allowing or liking it to that degree. “I can’t say I never wanted to hold you and comfort you properly but you have other needs too.  You should have a wife and a child. You have to have a child. I spend time with your counterparts daughter. She was adorable and so much like you. You should find someone.” Though as he says it, the words turn to bitter ash in his mouth. He doesn’t want Mule to find anyone that would take him away from Helel the way Jo keeps Dean from being that close to Michael. “I’m not actually good for you, it seems. Or for anyone. The world was a better place without my help. Michael was happier, kinder, softer. You know the difference in Gabriel. Raphael… I don’t know. I just don’t understand anything anymore.”

                   “What happened over there?” Mule reaches over to take Helel’s hand still keeping a respectful distance away. 

                   “I don’t know much. I do know that there, I didn’t hesitate. Or she didn’t step forwards, one of the two. I just went ahead and took the mark and it destroyed me. I refused to care for humanity. I tricked Adam and Eve into eating the quince and got exiled from heaven. And Michael.. she didn’t come with me. Like Raphael did for Gabriel. What’s worse she was the one who cast me out. AndI broke on the eighth day, and gave the mark to Cain, Adam and Eve’s eldest then waged a civil war against heaven, tried to destroy humanity.

                    “I was weaker than her, crueler than her, an absolute unredeemable monster that they somehow managed to redeem when I haven’t been able to do anything for Gabriel. And still, despite me, the world tuned and mankind grew and prospered and flourished just as well with my trying to sabotage it as with my nurturing it. You’re upset but I learned that this is the best I can be and I don’t actually matter at all.” Helel gives a bitter laugh, bending forwards to bury his face in his hands.

                     “Oh,” Helel laughs. “And as an added bonus my favorite song tried to kill me. She only failed because this Raphael interfered and died instead. For me. That any Raphael could ever die for me any me… I…. what’s worse is that his dying ended up showing me that Gabriel didn’t actually love me. She thought she did, but as it turns out she loves Raphael so much more that even a copy of him meant more to her than me.” much to his dismay, tears that he couldn’t shed at the time, start to leak out now.

                     While he doesn’t understand that conclusion, Mule does know there’s a reason for it that will be explained later when Helel’s calmed down. He moves close to him again, though it’s probably not the best idea. But he’s not going to just let his angel cry uncomforted just because he’s a lonely idiot who made a fool of himself. Questions don’t help at this point and neither does arguing. Either one just entrenches him deeper. Just one of the many things they have in common.

                      “I don’t want to think anymore.” Helel wipes his eyes. “Would you like to spar? We actually can again.” Mule’s silent for a second before shaking his head. “I promise I’ll go easy on you this time.” he teases.

                      “No, it’s not that.” Mule smiles at the memory. He was reluctant to belive it when Helel answered his prayers in solitary. He thought it was a dreamor hallucination. After all the soft voice, gentle mannerisms, and kind words were the same ones that Bree seduced him with. It was a hell of a trick, mimicking her big brother to win over his vessel.

                     “He was still reeling from her betrayal and abandonment and to hear a voice telling him she was the literal devil was just too appealing. It wasn’t until he was granted parole that Helel found a temporary vessel to come help him in person. In truth he wasn’t much more straight forward than his sister, manipulative and evasive, even deceitful, benevolently so, but still it just fostered Mule’s resistance until finally in a heated argument Mule lost his temper and attacked Helel with his mother’s blade. Helel utterly dominated him, breaking several of his bones in the process and lost his temper, railing at him for his stubborn recalcitrance and uncooperative ingratitude.

                   In truth the callous arrogance displayed almost wrecked whatever chance they had to becoming anything like friends until Helel actually broke down into tears at the mention of Michael again. It was getting close to the time for a ritual that couldn’t be cast again for a thousand years one to summon Death. The only way to do so outside the time would be the sacrifice at hundreds of people. It was enough for Mule to agree to help. That glimpse of the real angel behind the arrogant and slightly patronizing saint of the fallen.

                  “He’d thought that one Michael was free Helel would have no more need of him, and return to heaven. But Helel found every excuse to stay with him and when he couldn’t he’d visit his dreams every night, encouraging Mule and listening to him and amazingly even trusting him and confiding in him. The same imperfections that pushed Mule away at first became part of his charm. If only for proof that you didn’t have to be perfect to be one at the greatest things in all god’s creation. It gave truth to the saying ‘every sinner has a future, every Saint a past.” Saint Lucifer’s past gave him hope for his future.

                There’s a thump on the floor in front of them that almost makes him jump. It’s a stack of cheap paperbacks bound in ribbon with a card. Helel takes the card and raises an eyebrow at the message.

                “The Winchester gospels?” Helel frowns at the stock. Mule looks at the card. “Greatest hits? Editors cut?”

                ‘Just had a talk with my Samshine. We thought you should read these. Maybe gain a little perspective. P.S. since time is an issue I’d added a little bonus for each so don’t start one unless you intend to finish it.

                               Much love, your sister from another mister (sort of)”

                “Burn them.” Mule says flatly. No Gabriel can be anything but trouble. Helel’s just staring at the other side of the card.

                “It’s a history of your counterpart in their universe, written by our father.” Helel says quietly, and Mule knows that the angel can’t dismiss them out of hand. “It’s just enchanted so that time won’t move until we’ve read it cover to cover, like the spell your mother used on the car but activated by angelic grace instead. What did she mean she had a talk with Sam?”

                 “My conversation with my counterpart didn’t go well. If I had to venture a guess this is because I told him I didn’t want to hear about his perfect life and perfect moral compass or something like that.”

                 “I don’t know if I want to read them either but that Gabriel loves that Sam Winchester. And if it’s anything like Bree loves Raphael, she loves you by default.”

                 “I don’t…” Mule shakes his head then stops as the thought strikes him. “Do you think there’s anything about my father in the books.”

                 “I can’t imagine he wouldn’t be, but that doesn’t mean he’d be the same.” Helel cautiously. “But I don’t think you’ll like what you see. It this response was any indication. Of course, it might just be a matter of perspective.”

                 “Maybe. I don’t know. I just don’t want to think right now either. But exercise just isn’t cutting it right now.’ Mule runs his hand back over his hair. “I don’t want to read it alone anyhow.”

                  “As if I would leave you alone.” Helel smiles at him. That soft caring smile combined with those eyes, those ice blue eyes just steal his breath away. It’s too distracting. He definitely doesn’t want to think about that either, though. He has enough red in his ledger without causing the patron saint of the fallen to fall himself.

                  “How much do you weigh?” Mule finds himself asking.

                  “I’m an angel. I’m practically an illusion, just grace and light and little water. The body’s not too heavy I think. What do you ask?”

                   “Can I?” Mule stands up. Helel gets to his feet and lets Mule take him byt he waist and lift him. “One fourty or so, not bad. Should add sufficient weight.”

                   “Oh,” Helel laughs, realizing what he’s not quite asking. “Okay, I’ll read them out loud and give you a little boost when you need it.” Helel picks up the first book as Mule drops down, and positions himself for more pushups. Helel sits crosslegged on his back, it’s surprisingly comfortable though he has to remove his shoes not to poke Mule with the soles. “I’m good, you good?” He grins.

                  “I’m good.” Mule starts  the push ups as Helel opens the book.

                  “The house was dark, not a sound except a small coo from the baby.” Helel starts. “Mary was sure she heard him cry, but it stopped so suddenly, better just to make sure..” Helel reads aloud. His amusement at the position he’s in fades quickly. Mule doesn’t falter in his push ups, only pushing himself hard and faster in response to his distress.

                  He doesn’t stop until Lucifer Rising when Helel, who had trouble even starting that one, can’t continue reading Lucifer’s seduction of Nick.

                 “Why don’t we take a moment.” Mule suggests. Helel nods and gets to his feet, the book held under his arm. “Helel?” Mule resists the urge to embrace him and gently grasps his shoulders. His angel doesn’t speak for a minute.

                  “I felt that way.” Helel confesses.

                  “What way?”

                  “When father introduced humanity. I didn’t want to serve them, I didn’t want my brothers to serve them. I didn’t want to love them. I resented them but I’d failed my father before and the price was so high. I couldn’t bear to do it again. And I saw my favorite song looking to me, just as unsure so I pushed my pride aside and bowed to humanity. It was one of the hardest things. I’ve ever done.”

                 “That’s not what he said happened, though.” Mule looks at the pages.

                 “I know what he said happened. I also know my father and I know myself. Just give me a moment.”

                 “I’ll continue reading.” Mule says quietly and takes the book from him.

                 “You’re too big, you’d fall off.” Helel jokes. “Honestly I’d rather be inside you right now. Okay that sounds alot worse that I expected it to.” He covers his eyes. Mule laughs. 

                  “You’ll have to settle for being beside me at the moment.” He sits down on the floor, back against the footboard of the bed. “C’mon. It’s my turn.” Helel sits next to him and leans into his arms listening as Mule starts to read aloud.


	36. Mother Mary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mary thinks hard about her relationship with John and her boys and bonds with Michael over the difficulties of motherhood.

               It is of course impossible for Mary to go to sleep.There’s too much running around the back of her mind. Looking at the other Sam and Dean for example. Seeing them together makes her heartache. If only her boys were that close. There must have been something she did wrong. Maybe she should have encouraged them to spend more time together, or to go easier on each other.  Maybe she shouldn’t have praised Dean so much. Or praised Sam more or differently. What did she do wrong? How did her happy little Sammykins turn into such a broken fallen creature. 

               Thinking as hard as she can, she doesn’t know what happened. One day he was always at her side begging her not to leave him behind, the next he’s sulky and resentful about leaving the Roadhouse at all. One day he was always asking questions about his father, the next he refused to talk about him at all. He just.. started  searching for answers she couldn’t give. Going through John’s old things, looking up his old army buddies, not that there were many left. When she wouldn’t help him, couldn’t really, he got resentful and sullen. 

              She didn’t want to admit that she didn’t really know John all that well, that they only worked as well as they did because they were both fleeing their own wars and never made each other talk about anything even related. He never talked about Vietnam. She never even told him she was a hunter. Nothing ever happened in Lawrence, she though she’d never have to think about monsters and ghosts again.

              She doesn’t want to tell them that the reason John was downstairs was because of the nightmares. If he didn’t pass out in the recliner, he often didn’t sleep at all. Maybe if they’d talked, something could have been done and he would have been done and he would have been upstairs in bed close to the gun safe, instead of unarmed and half drunk in the living room. But they didn’t. They just hid from themselves together, hid behind a white picket fence and the illusion of normality. An illusion that was already crashing down around her. Late nights and long absences, alcohol as an escape. She understood and resented it at the same time because she couldn’t afford to indulge herself. The secrets she might spill to the man she loved and desperately wished she could confide in would have been far more devastating to them both and she had the children to worry about.

             That was the deal after all. A house a car, children, a husband who provided and didn’t ask questions in return she played the happy homemaker stay at home with the children, in the illusion of safety and normalcy. Mary Winchester never hunted werewolves and vampires. Mary Winchester never dug up graves and salted and burned the bodies. Never exorcised a fallen angel from a mental patient.That was Mary Campbell, and Mary Campbell was buried on August 17th, 1978. 

              Not that anything really stays dead, though. Even feelings that she’d convinced herself had died a slow lingering death are rearing their ugly heads. Seeing him again, young vibrant, strong. His eyes, his smile, yet not. Seeing the look of adoration that was once hers, now directed at another is painful. Knowing that it’s not really him, but a Michael. Their Michael, doesn’t help oddly enough.

             Mary takes out a cigarette and searches for a lighter. She’s tried to quit for years. But all she’s been able to do is limit it to times of extreme stress. When about to take on a task she’s not sure she can survive, or more frequently after surviving a hunt she almost didn’t. Of course her lighter’s not working anymore. She’s not going in to get matches from the bar, though, that’s for damn sure.

             “Here.” Her son hands her a peice of gum. Mary gives a wry smile at her eldest and puts her cigarettes behind her ear, taking the nicotine gum instead.

             “Can’t sleep?” She smiles at the Sheriff.

             “No.” He sighs and leans on the hood of the impala beside her. “I thought being an archangel’s vessel was going to be the most surreal thing to ever happen to me. But this… this takes the cake.”

             “Yeah.” She chews. It’s not really the same, but he doesn’t want her to smoke. She’s going to die on a hunt anyways, possibly this next one, but well… She’ll just smoke it when he goes back inside. Maybe she can refill the lighter with holy oil. That’d be a handy little secret weapon. 

             “You know.” Dean takes the cigarette from behind her ear and the packet from her shirt pocket. “I used to go into your purse and count your cigarettes before and after ever hunting trip.” He puts the cigarette back in the almost full pack and puts it in his own pocket. “I used to think of it as you apologizing to death for standing him up again.”

           “That’s a sweet way to look at it.” Mary smiles. Honestly she meant it in a much less polite way.

           “The more were gone, the more I knew you needed us on our best behavior.”

           “How did you know what it meant?”

           “I heard you say it to Bobby one night. I never told Sam.I didn’t want him to worry more than he did already.” Dean crosses his arms. “Maybe I should have. He might not have been so difficult about it when i tried to make him behave.”

            “You didn’t have to do that Dean. But I love you for it.” She kisses his forehead. “Any word from Michael?”

            “Not really. The other Raphael, or should I say, ‘April’, said he feels unneeded and depressed. I don’t know what to say that he’ll listen to. But apparently the other Michael lost his temper and went to beat the crap out of him for cutting off his little sister wings. Helel’s probably not too happy about that either. I have no idea what to do. Honestly I’d love to pop that other Michael one, but I just... “ Dean shakes his head.

            “It’s hard looking at him.” Mary finishes his sentence. “I know.”

            “No, If anyone mutilated Sammy that way I’d do the same thing.” Dean confesses. Mary has to agree. “Do you think you could try to talk to him? He likes you.He respects you. He was really impressed when he saw you had the nightingale’s blade.”

            “Yeah. Michael really loved hearing that story. He smiled for the first time when I told him. I think he almost laughed. I wish I’d known she’d….” Mary stops talking and forces herself not to take out her flask. She promised not to drink in front of the boys even a little. That’s especially important now that Sam’s in recovery. “And now we have to try and work with her. Where is she anyways?”

            “The other Michael placed her on one of the moons of Jupiter until we’re settled. Their Castiel and the demon is keeping guard. Apparently he’s been promoted to archangel. I asked about their Jo but they won’t answer me. So she probably died hunting.”

              “Maybe. They never had anything between them though. Actually,” Mary smiles. “The other you is dating his Castiel. So… is there something you’d like to tell me?”

              “Not really no. I’m married. I love my wife and am faithful to her. Who else I find attractive besides her isn’t important.”

               “Fair enough. I should have known it ran in the family when you fell in love with Jo.” Mary shakes her head. “We do have a lot in common.”

                “What do you mean? Did you… Jesus Christ is that why Ellen hates you?”

                “It was just one night, or two or three after John died. I was lonely and vulnerable and just started driving one night when you two were with your grandmother until I came to the Roadhouse. I kind of knew Jo’s father from hunting. I didn’t know he was married though or that never would have happened.”

                “You had an affair with Ellen’s husband?!”

                “No, with Ellen. He was out hunting and they were having a rough patch. They only made up because she was pregnant with Jo when he found out.”

                “When.. please tell me my wife is not actually my sister.”The horrified question makes Mary just store at him. “Okay now that is probably the dumbest thing ever to come out of my mouth.”

                “You’re tired.” Mary’s mouth twitches in a smile.

                “I am tired. I should go to bed.”

                “You should definitely go to bed.”

                “Love you, mom.” Her son kisses her cheek. “Please don’t tell anyone I asked that.”

                 “I won’t. And don’t ever tell anyone I told you that. Especially Ellen.”

                 “Deal.” He heads back inside. Mary lets herself laugh a little but catches a glimpse of the other Micheal through the swinging door, forehead to forehead with the other Helel, ‘Luci’. Comforting her it seems. It makes her wonder. If she had confided in John, all her darkest fears and secrets, would he have comforted her that way? Could they have comforted each other? Maybe she could have had something worth telling Sam, more than just that daddy was a soldier, a marine, and a mechanic.

                 Sam had as much of him as she really did. After all she kept the house, the car, the shop, the name, the dream that their children could grow up free of the monsters, human and otherwise. Dean did. Sam… Sam got both their burdens. Hunting in a war zone. And worse, so much worse. She’ll never forgive herself for not finding him.    
For not just taking off and going to Iraq when she learned he was MIA. Presumed dead. Why did she just accept it? How could she have given up on him like that.

                  The truth is though she knows why. It’s because the second she accepted his career in the marines, she accepted his death. She tried to tell herself that he wouldn’t, but she couldn’t. She knew better.  With war, it doesn’t always matter how good you are. Sometimes that just means you’re placed in more danger. So she attended his graduation from boot camp and gave him her blessing and her love and told him how proud she was and prepared never to see him again. Every time they said goodbye it was that way. Not that they spoke much, or that he came home much. He’d leave a message for her on her birthday and for Dean on his if he could.

                 She didn’t look for him and left him in the hands of the devil. For two years. What came home, she barely even recognized. If it weren’t for Helel, who knows what would have become of him. And nothing she did could help him. Buried by the weights of both war and hunting he was in a place that she couldn’t reach. Now, just when he’s slowly becoming her baby boy again, everything in the world could end. She wipes her eyes a bit, only to be handed a kercheif.

                 “I thought you were going to bed.” She smiles gratefully at her son. “Get  some rest.”

                 “He is resting.” Comes the reply.

                 “Hello, Michael.” She smiles and gently pats his cheek. “Welcome back. Are you okay?”

                  “Are you?” He doesn’t answer the question.

                  “Come on, let’s go for a drive.” Mary nods to the impala.

 

                  Michael sits in the car. Watching the road as Mary just drives, playing the mix tape John made her when they first started dating. Dean was right, she is suffering. He should have taken note of what the other Michael was wearing, and anticipated this. Mary is strong but the heart can only take so much.

                  Eventually they come to a scenic rest stop and Mary parks the car. The last song plays. ‘Hey Jude’ and for once she doesn’t sing along. When he was released from the cage and entered Dean, he just broke down and couldn’t function. He was too weak. He can remember hearing her singing to them before anything else. And then, he doesn’t know how, she siphoned off pieces of her own soul and fed it to him until he was well enough to return to heaven. She could have killed herself doing so, but self sacrifice has always been one of her many virtues.

                   “I don’t really know what to do.” Mary finally speaks. “I don’t know what to say. I love my son, you know, and I don’t want things to end with this distance between us. I just don’t. But I don’t know what to do.” She leans forwards resting her head and arms against the steering wheel. “Everything just comes out wrong.”

                   “I have the same problem.” Michael confesses. “I can teach, give orders, but when it comes to relationships, I never know what to say and always say the wrong things. I handled things with Helel and Raphael so badly that they ended up outright hating each other and nothing I did made it any better. Only worse. And Gabriel… She always hated me. Always resented me. I could never… I know I’m to blame for what happened to her, to them…”

                     “Motherhood sucks, doesn’t it?” Mary smiles at him. Michael gives a wry smile.

                     “Only when you fail.”

                     “Oh, come on, Michael.” She straightens up. “Look at Helel. You raised him, right?”

                     “More than any of them.”

                     “He is wonderful. I owe him so much. He saved my baby, in so many ways.”

                     “Gabriel is the reason he needed saving. Even so, I can’t take credit for my shining star.” Michael shakes his head.

                     “Then you can’t take the blame for the nightingale.” Mary reaches over and take his hand. “You can’t. They make their own decisions and there’s so much more influencing them than just you. Gabriel especially.”

                     “She used to call me Miqa.” Michael sounds so mournful. Mary reaches over and has him rest his head on her shoulder. “That other Gabriel. I should have known when she called me Miqa, but she said she loved me, and I thought she was mocking me and I got so angry…”

                     “Miqa?” Mary asks, gently steering him away from the subject. 

                     “She had trouble speaking at first like Helel. Of course nobody says my name right. I thought it was cute. She adored Helel, of course, everyone does. But when she really wanted to play and play hard, she came to me. ‘Miqa I’m bored.’ She was always bored that or causing trouble. And Raphael needed a break after watching her while I trained Helel. And Helel usually did after training as well. Not that I didn’t, but I was the eldest. I had to take care of them.”

                      “Yes. But I never understood her. When I pushed Helel he’d push back. When I’d push Raphael he’d try harder. When I’d push Gabriel she’d just get frustrated and upset and do things, crazy things I couldn’t predict. ‘But Miqa you said to do this, you didn’t say how.’ she’d say or ‘You never said not to’ and if I ever managed to hem her in she’d fail and sulk and just stop trying and it would drive me insane. Finally I just had to have Helel take over. And I still just don’t know what I could have done. Everything I tried just made things worse.”

                      “Sometimes that’s how it goes.” Mary rests her head against his. “Soon.. he’s so much like his father. It’s scary. I don’t know how to say it because so much of it is the pain in his eyes.”

                      “Gabriel is good at breaking things.” He says diplomatically. His opinion of Sam is only slightly better than Mary’s opinion of Gabriel.

                      “I hope Helel is better at fixing them. Or at least just as good. He seems to be.” Mary takes a breath. “I just hope they’ll still get the chance. I hope that I will.”

                      “Sam must know you love him and are proud of him.”

                      “Does Helel?”

                      “He should.” Though Michael suddenly feels unsure. So much has been on his shoulders for so long and he bore it all alone. Michael can’t remember if he’s ever told Helel how proud he was, or how well he’s done. He doesn’t remember the last time he told Helel that he loved him either. The last time he’d ever told any of them.

                      “Thank you for coming, Michael.” Mary gives his shoulder a squeal. “I really needed an angel tonight.”

                      “I’m sorry it took me so long.”

                      “It’s been a rough time for everybody.” She brushes off the apology. “Will you blip is back at five of three or should I start back now?”

                      “I’ll take us.”

                      “Thank you.” Mary gives a sigh, and just sits silently with Michael watching the stars.

                      “Did you know I helped place the stars?” Michael says after a moment, but Mary’s silent. She’s fallen asleep. Michael debates taking her back to the Roadhouse and putting her to bed, but decides against it and just puts an arm around her, letting her sleep where she is until quarter of three.


	37. Blackbird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The nightingale gets a visit from her husband.   
> The Raphael's search for and find that theads Castiel.   
> Helel gets expertly manipulated by Luci.

          Bree sits on the icy moon adding blocks to the ice wall around a small angry red hen clucking at an irritated black kitten.

          “I didn’t mean it like that.” She says as she can feel him near her. “I didn’t mean I don’t care about you.”

           “It doesn’t matter.” Her husband sits beside her. “Who’s in the box?”

           “My brother and our steward’s counterparts. Michael forgot the darkness stripped my binding when she attacked. They’re fine. I won’t break the only toys I have up here. I don’t suppose you’ll heal my wings and run off with me to play as long as we can before Auntie kills us all.” She looks up at him.

            “No.” Raphael says quietly. “I won’t.”

            “It figures. I no longer have the mark and you no longer care about me at all. That was the only reason you were with me at all, wasn’t it? Trying to keep me from doing what I did.” Bree levitates a large slab of ice over the top of the wall, covering it. “You don’t want anything more to do with me now, do you?”

             “I’m here aren’t I?” Is the dry reply.

             “Because you want something, so you can save the twin of your precious little Claire. When you have it you’ll go and never see me again.”

             “If you say so.”

             “I do say so.” She hugs her knees to her chest. “So are you going to go running back to heaven now? Begging Michael’s forgiveness. You know she’ll give it to you, in a heartbeat. If only to spite me.”

             “I won’t.” Raphael snaps with surprising anger. “Not ever. She had Helel torture me. Once this is over I never wish to see either of them again.”

             “I couldn’t help but notice Claire was with the Winchesters. Would you care to explain that?” Bree refuses to look at him. Just let him try to lie to her, that… traitor. For a moment he doesn’t speak at all.

              “I was leaving you. So I took her somewhere she could be safe.”He finally says. “It was too much you were too reckless and I didn’t understand why you were shutting me out, fleeing me, hiding from me. It scared me and I just couldn’t take it.”

              “Well, you don’t need me anymore, do you? It doesn’t matter what happens to me now. So go ahead. Go. Find some little human girl or boy or whatever, have babies and just leave me alone so Michael can come and tear me apart like he did the other me”

              “No.” He kisses her cheek. She just turns away from him.

              “I know you don’t really love me, Raphael. You don’t need to pretend.”

              “You’re right. I don’t. I only left my home, abandoned my family, betrayed Michael and compromised myself in every possible way to ease your pain. Obviously I couldn’t possibly love you at all.” The thick biting sarcasm makes Bree smile.

              “Prove it?” She glances back over her shoulder. Raphael falters slightly, looking to the box of ice. Bree’s face falls at the hesitation. “I thought so.”

              “Bree, you know I don’t like an audience. I’m sending these two to their Winchesters.” He snaps the rooster and kitten to the back seat of the impala as he’s sure the demon at least can’t get past the wards. Prove it, indeed.

              Raphael slowly traces the lines of Bree’s back as she lays, head on his chest, blissfully humming to her chest. The pain in her has ebbed. It hurt to see that it was sitll there, even though the mark was gone and no longer leaking darkness into her. But there’s still so much, and a gaping hole in her heart where it once had it tendrils. At least now there’s a chance of it actually healing. Little things like this, having her gently resting in his arms, relaxed and happy, singing to herself the songs of creation, show him that his Gabriel is still in there somewhere, beneath the hurt and pain and callous cruelty. Though thinking of callous cruelty. He should let Castiel and his vessel know that Claire is safe.

             Raphael reaches out to the angel and finds nothing. Much to his surprise he finds himself concerned for the seraph. Hopefully he didn’t attempt to rescue the child on his own. No, he should know that Raphael would never let anything happen to her. He may have been Lucifer’s tool but he genuinely cared for Bree and her safety, he can’t exactly leave, though. Bree could never take it if he left right now, not for any reason.

             ‘Raphael.’ He calls to his other self.

             ‘You?”’

             ‘I need some assistance. I cannot find our Castiel. But it’s better if i don’t leave my wife as of yet. Could you help me find him?’

             ‘Of course. I’ll let you know when I find something.’

             “Two of you. And you actually seem to like each other. It seems such a pleasant fantasy.” Bree sighs. She was of course listening in. But it doesn’t matter. “Do you think maybe we could seduce him? Convince him to stay with us? If anyone would know how, you would.”

              “You tried to kill his wife and child. If there was any possibility of it happening, there isn’t now.” He reminds her.

              “They were going to die anyway, they’re human and it was wife ‘or’ child, not ‘and’.”She protests. “I did promise not to hurt your next lover, but he’s not you and I never said anything about your children. I was being kind.”

              “I know you were.” Raphael falls silent again.

              “I was in pain.”

              “I know you were.”

              “So why are you mad at me?” She pushes up.

              “I’m not angry.”

              “Well, upset then. Why are you upset?”

              “Why after all these Days do you not know why I’m upset?” His voice is still gentle and calm. Bree’s clipped wings flutter more anxiously at this than if he had yelled. “You say I don’t love you, Bree, but you don’t really love me.”

              “That’s not true. If I didn’t love you.I’d still have the mark. I had to kill what I loved best in the world. So you can’t say I didn’t…” Bree stops as her husband just looks at her. “You already know about that don’t you?”

               “Raphael told me.”

               “That little snitch staying with Michael made you a humorless tattle tale. I swear. But if you know how can you say that I don’t love you!”

               “Because it wasn’t me. You chose Helel to sacrifice because you thought you loved him more.” He starts

               “But I didn’t! And… he is you. Do you think I love that other Raphael more than you?” Bree interrupts not quite sure how to argue against this.

                “No. I think your heart really couldn’t tell the difference.” Raphael looks up at the stars. “Maybe you love me most, but if that’s true then you don’t love anything very much at all. The truth is probably simpler. Whatever you love that satisfied that sacrifice. It wasn’t me. Maybe it wore my grace, had my name, but people aren’t interchangable like that.” Bree looks flustered for a moment, and runs her fingers through her hair, making the curls puff out. 

                “Let me guess. You want me to prove I love you, by giving you the cure to the curse of something like that. But even that won’t work because there is none. The solution they got was the only one they could get. But here.” She snaps her fingers bringing up a small leaflet. “Exactly what I did, in every detail. Good luck with it.”

                 “I’ll send it to Raphael.” He looks over the paper.

                 “It sounds like you’re talking in the third person.” Bree smirks. “So, do you believe me?”

                 “About what? That this is really the curse you used or that there is no cure?”

                 “That I love you!” She throws her hands up. Her husband doesn’t say anything and snaps the paper to his counterpart. Raphael still doesn’t look at her. “I love you! Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

                 “Yes, the problem is it means nothing to you.”

                 “Well… well, fuck you then!”

                  “Yes, ‘fuck me’.” he sighs. She just storms off to the other side of the moon. Raphael doesn’t follow.

                  ‘Raphael’ he hears the other calling him, ‘I think you should come here.’

                  It only takes a moment to put himself back together and go to his counterpart down in the unforgiving arctic plateau. Beneath a large stone pillar, one from Sheol,there’s a large expanse of black feathers covering the snow like an oil spill. towards the top is a frozen body, stripped and bound wrist to wrist, ankle to ankle around it. The skin is burned with enochian. traitor spy juda betrayer other various insults. Lucifer’s lackey being one,though in less pleasant terms. The angels blade is run through his breast bone and heart deep into the stone. 

                    “No.” Raphael stares at it. He tried to rescue Claire. Castiel went into an entire realm of condemned souls and fallen angels alone. Because, out of pique and spite, Raphael didn’t bother to tell him that he took care of her.  His counterpart wraps a comforting arm around his shoulder. “This is my fault. I exposed him in front of everyone and banished him from Sheol. I didn’t want this to happen. I thought Helel would take care of him. Castiel was his angel after all.”

                    “Are you on good terms with any reapers?” Is the next question.

                    “Are you?” Raphael asks wryly. As if reapers would ever be on good terms with a healer who can and has snatched their work away from them, or undid it. Not that they hate humanity, but they hate having to do their work twice.”

                    “Would any bring Jimmy Novak’s soul to you so you can ressurrect him at least.”

                     “No.” He stares at the pile of feathers. “Only Michael or Helel could make that happen. I am locked out of that wing of heaven as completely as they are Sheol. How could I have been so petty? What do I tell Claire?” The other Raphael just wraps his wings around him, holding him to soothe him as he’s done so many times to his sister and to his siblings before he left heaven. It feels odd being comforted by himself.

                     “The truth, of course. She deserves to know. But if Michael and Helel are the only ones, then we’ll have to ask them.”

                     “Are you insane? Helel hates me and Michael will never forgive me. Asking is the surest way to ensure it never happens. It might just make Helel take that soul and toss it into the abyss just to spite me! Even if we were on good terms, there is absolutely no reason to resurrect a vessel when their angel is dead. A resurrection is not something done lightly.”

                      “Well, let’s get him down from there at least. We’ll figure out something. If anything we have four Winchesters now who don’t give a shit about rules, regulations, or the will of god or angels if it hurts the one they love.” 

                      There’s a breif knock on the door as Helel softly sings ‘Hey Jude’ to the sleeping Mule to help stave off the nightmares. He often has, as it’s the most effective way to prevent him from even having them. But this is the first time he’s been able to do so, lying beside him, stroking his hair, and that seems to do him even more good. 

                       “I need to speak to you.” The door opens without warning, much to Helel’s annoyance and closes behind the intruder. “Really? In bed with him already? You just got your own body. I hope you didn’t do anything that disgusting with mine.”

                       “You mean such as fornicating with my sister?” Helel gently pries Mule’s arm from around his waist. “He has nightmares. I’m simply ensuring he rests properly. I would never commit such blasphemy.”

                        “We both know that’s not true. I’m living proof that you would, and worse.” Luci crosses his arms. “So arrogant and self righteous. Am I really this insufferable? I owe more apologies than I thought.”

                         “What do you want? I assume it must be important to take time out of your incest and vessel torturing schedule to come speak to me. Especially since I have my grace back now.” The threat doesn’t escape Luci, but it is ignored entirely.

                         “Well my beloved little brother asked me to tell you something. I said I would so I will, but I know it’s a waste of breath. You won’t care about them anymore than I do. I know you after all.”

                        “You do.” Helel narrows his eyes at the presumptive prick.

                        “Yes, of course, I do. I am you, remember.” Luci smiles. “Anyways I promised I’d tell you, so… You know that little seraph you had going undercover with the fallen to protect and spy on the nightingale?”

                       “Don’t call her that,and yes, of course I know Castiel. He is one of the bravest most loyal trustworthy angels I have ever known. What about him?”

                       “His vessel has been killed.”

                       “Well, that’s unfortunate, but if he hadn’t cast his angel out, he wouldn’t have been.” Helel replies cooly. “I don’t see what that has to do with Castiel.”

                       “Well, Castiel was trying to keep him safe and his daughter as well, and now she’s orphaned. You could easily bring him back, you know. Or at least Raphael could if he had his woul. I know resurrections aren’t exactly our strong suit. I mean, who wants to needlessly add to the infestation?” Luci wrinkles his nose.

                       “Speak for yourself. I do my job which is to save and shepherd humanity. I care about humanity.”

                        “You care about your image. About the praises and accolades heaped on you for your actions. Not humanity. You don’t even care about your siblings, not really. Not more than yourself. You hide behind your role and heaven’s rules because you would never truly put yourself out there for anyone. That’s why I told him you would never agree to lift a finger for that human.

                        “Because I wouldn’t because even if he died along with Castiel,he’d no longer matter to you at all, if he ever did. If the child who was taken hostage because of you and your duplicity mattered at all… But she doesn’t, they don’t. So I’ll go back to Raphael and tell him I told him so, because I did tell him so. I mean, I love him, but that doesn’t make it any less satisfying.” Luci winks with an arrogant smirk that makes Helel want to just wipe him from the face of the earth.  Just one snap, disintegrating him. He’s useless anyway, without his grace and probably not trustworthy with it.

                          “Do you think you can manipulate me into doing what I want so easily?” Helel puts his hands on his hips instead, to resist temptation. “If Castiel wants his vessel resurrected he can come to me himself.”

                           “If you think being told the truth is manipulative, I feel sorry for you. As for Castiel, your son will never be asking you anything again, Helel.” the bastard walks back out of the room. What does that mean? Has his angel betrayed him? And why would either Raphael ask that monster for anything? The other Raphael, he refuses to call him April outside of planning, has no reason to care about Claire or Novak. And his Raphael would never ask Helel for anything ever. He wouldn’t be so stupid. 

                            Where are they? Are the Raphael’s together? Helel calls out to the least detestible one and is given directions. When Helel arrives the scene makes his breath catch in his throat. How… why didn’t that bastard tell him? Prattling on about the insignificant vessel when much more importantly, the angel was lost as well. Who did this? Who would dare?!

                            “You.. what did you do to my seraph!” He screams into the cold, grabbing his brother by the throat. “How dare you!” The other Raphael gets up from where he’s laying out the body on a pile of black feathers. Every single one has been ripped out. The only burn marks on the pillar are thin cores. They don’t even look like real wings. Raphael did this. To punish him, to torture him. He couldn’t get to Helel for his revenge, so he had his angel tortured and killed instead. That little brat thinks he was tortured before, he doesn’t know the meaning ot the word.

                            “He did nothing to Castiel.” Raphael adds his  hands to the ones trying to pry Helel’s hands away. “If he did this, why would he ask for your help? It would have been easy to capture the soul as he died and resurrect Claire’s father.”

                             “Because he wants to hurt me. Because he thinks i won’t kill him, since the darkness has returned, to rub it in my face that he’s destroyed my most truste and faithful lieutenant, tortured him Because he hates me and will do anything to hurt me!” Helel shoves them both a side, knocking them to the ground away from each other and drops down beside the body, picking it up and cradling it to him as if that would help. As if anything could bring his angel back.  He can’t even do anything about the vile words carved into his flesh as it was clearly burned with holy fire. The hole in his chest where the blade pierced him is just barely able to be patched back together. 

                               Why didn’t he call out to him? This wasn’t quick. None of it was. Maybe he did and Helel just wasn’t able to hear it. Maybe the other one just ignored it like the callous bastard he is. Helle tries to calm himself as he can feel his wings freeze. He can feel the Raphael’s looking at him. They won’t even ask themselves. 

                          “You think I don’t care. Both of you. You think I’m like him, some kind of heartless monster.” He accuses them. The other Raphael doesn’t answer, but his Raphael just gives him a steady look of disdain.

                         “I know you are.”

                        “You impertinent little…”

                        “You never even tried to help Claire. A girl in danger only because of you and your assignment to Castiel. You sacrificed her, you sacrificed an innocent child and care nothing for her and her father’s welfare. You have no more care for any of them than you ever did for me. I told you Raphael. If it doesn’t bolster his reputation or feed his ego, he would never do it.” The angel vanishes.

                     “What about you?” Helel tightens his lips, glaring at the other Raphael. “Why did you ask him to ask me if you didn’t think I would do it.”

                      “I didn’t. I asked my brother to ask Your Michael.” The other Raphael says bluntly. “But only because I know Michael loves his brothers, even if he is hurt. Besides, I know there are rules and he is the highest authority.”

                      “For the host! For military matters. But for literally everything else including resurrections, i am!” Helel exclaims. Why didn’t that useless brat tell him that? Raphael probably doesn’t even actually want Novak back. He probably wants to keep the man’s daughter for himself.

                      “I didn’t know. I didn’t mean to go above your head.”

                       “Above my head! I ruled heaven and earth alone for almost two thousand years. Michael.. she’s barely even in her right mind. What do you know about me? What I care about. What I’ve had to bear. After Raphael left she was devestated. She would shut down and… and I put her first because she was hurting and broken hearted and somebody had to. What I did for her, the dirty harsh terrible things that needed to be done… I did them so she wouldn’t have to, and I only care about...about my ego and my reputation? What the hell do you know about any of that! What it takes to care for everyone but yourself with absolutely no one to turn to!”

                      “More than you think.” The other Raphael says quietly. “I’ll bury him and talk to your Claire for the both of you. This wasn’t either of your faults. you didn’t kill him. I’ll make sure she understands that.” Raphael holds his hands out for the body.

                       “No.” Helel holds it tighter, and shakes his head. “No, I will do what should be done in this matter. Go.” 

                       “If you need me, let me know.” Raphael puts a hand on Helel’s shoulder and heads back to the inn. Helel is sipping a mixed drink outside the bar. He taught Ellen how to make a Pitchfork it seems.“Thank you.”

                       “So, did he?” Luci asks as Raphael stands shoulder to shoulder with him, obviously needing a little comfort but not enough to ask for it, so Luci switches the drink to the other hand and puts his arm around him, letting his baby brother rest his head on his shoulder.

                        “I don’t know. We’ll find out I suppose.”

                        “Well, if you played your part, then he should.”

                        “You know, you should go easy on him. He’s been through alot.” Raphael doesn’t quite ask.

                        “Yeah, sure. I’ll get right on that.” Helel rolls his eyes and drinks his Pitchfork. 


	38. Nothing to Loose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things do not go well when they attempt to hold a meeting.

                “Hey, sleeping beauty.” Mule awakens as the door opens. He sits up hastily pulling a knife from a sheath between the headboard and the mattress. “You’re late.” The clock says three fifteen. “So is Helel, I actually half expected to find her here with you giving the googoo eyes she’s been giving you.” His brother turns on the light, knocking a couple of boo.comks aside. Fortunately they don’t open as they fall, just slide across the floor.

               “Sheriff.” Mule says cooly, and gets to his feet. He had lost track of time with Helel, but he didn’t remember falling asleep. Especially since there were no nightmares. Did Helel leave him or is he just in the veil to avoid comments from his overbearing judgmental sibling, something he and Helel have in common. 

               “Don’t give me that attitude. There’s not alot you haven’t done and seducing an archangel is hardly.” Mule interrupts him, by throwing the knife into the wall behind him, narrowly missing the rim of his brother’s hat. Does he ever take off that damn uniform?

              “You shut your damn mouth. Whatever you think of me don’t imply things like that about Helel. He.. she’s not that kind of angel.” Which feels like an odd sentance to say.

               “Just remember, I can definitely keep Michael from killing you, but beyond that if you seduce his little brother, you are going to get your ass kicked. You know that, right?” The sheriff points at him, nonplussed by the weapon.

                “You know you can go fuck yourself, right?” Mule grabs an overshirt and his boots and heads to the bathroom. “I’ll be right down.” The door slams in the Sheriff’s face and he gives a sigh. He didn’t even mention the way he noticed his little brother looking at Helel. And the things he hasn’t done is kind of a short list that doesn’t include much more than treating his older brother with respect, harming children and seducing an archangel. “You don’t have to wait for me. I know where the bar is.” The sheriff doesn’t reply.

                 “You sure you want to just stay back there, Mike?” Dean quietly asks his angel. “I don’t mind taking a backseat for this.. okay. No, I understand.” He gives a sigh. He honestly doesn’t blame him for not being ready to speak with his brother again. A burst of laughter comes from downstairs. It’s almost exactly like the nightingale’s except full of mirth and genuine amusement. It doesn’t terrify him like the other, but it still pisses him off. How could Dean let his brother do something like that? Either he married an evil chaotic pain in the ass, or made a good angel fall. Of course Dean’s taken up with a fallen angel himself. “Jesus that’s a fucked up universe.” He mutters and straightens up when the bathroom door opens.

                “Did you get lost?” Mule brushes past him and heads down the stairs.

                “You know, Sam, the world is ending. Do you think maybe you could stow the attitude for just a little bit?”

                 “Bite me Sheriff.” Mule goes down to the main bar and pauses. Helel’s not there and for some reason there’s a chicken and a kitten sitting on the table. Both look furious. And the kitten is wearing an adorable tan collar and little blue tie. The other Raphael is there as well but not their own. He should probably start calling him April. It’s the most absurd thing ever but probably has something to do with Gabriel so he doesn’t really want to know. The nightingale’s husband isn’t there either.

                 “Hey April, Where’s Raphael?” The sheriff asks, not a little amused at the nickname.

                 “Probably with his wife. I’m keeping a channel open so he can participate but it’s best not to leave her alone up there now that her guardian and fellow detaineees are indisposed.” ‘April’ pats the kitten’s head. The kitten responds by biting his hand. The angel looks amused and proceeds to play fight with the kitten by attacking it’s stomach. He responds enthusiastically until it realizes everyone’s watching. Batman-Dean is just slumped down in his chair, covering his eyes looking embarrassed enough for two people.

                 “Gabriel just change him back, would you?”

                 “Nah.” She grins and scoops up the kitten. “Here watch your son, Luce, we don’t want him wandering off.” Gabriel hands the kitten to Luci who takes the irritated kitten who will likely soon be unable to put his ears up straight from having them back like that so much. Luci just holds him to his chest and starts to pet him.

                   “Babe, please turn him back.” Sam asks him gently.

                  “I can’t actually. It’s a timed thing. He’ll turn back at noon.” Gabriel explains. The sheriff can feel the guilt welling up in his angel as he looks at her so he looks away.

                  “Where’s mom?” He looks back.

                  “Right here, Dean-bean.” She gets up from behind the bar with a token she puts in her pocket. “Just recharging the wards.” Did she have to call him that in front of everybody. “All present and accounted for?”

                   “Yes.” The sheriff says quickly. “Except for Helel. We’ll go look for him. Start without us. We’ll catch up.” He heads outside and lets Michael take over. Helel is fairly easily found, in the library as always, looking through the directory.

                    “Helel, have you been crying?” Michael rushes to his side. “What did that.. broken vessel do to you?”

                    “Nothing.” Helel stops searching the pages. “He didn’t do anything. What could he do? I’ve lost one of my angels. I must make things right for his vessel.”

                    “Are you talking about resurrection?” Michael closes the directory. “You can’t resurrect someone without a good reason. And by good reason, I mean the fate of the world hinges on their continued existence. You know this.”

                     “I do know this.”

                     “And?”

                     “And I don’t have that good a reason but I’m going to do it anyways. It won’t take long provided you stop getting in the way.”

                     “Helel. No.” Michael grabs his arms. Helel looks up at him in surprise.

                     “No? This is not your purview, Michael. You don’t get to make these decisions.”

                     “You are not thinking clearly, Helel.” He chides her. “Helel I know it’s been hard. You have been hurt and betrayed by, and lost ones you cared for. You’re new body is reacting in all sorts of shameful ways to your old vessel. It can be distracting.” Michael puts a hand on his cheek, soothing him, though.  Oddly enough it just seems to piss him off to the point of frost forming over his grace.

                      “Excuse me?” Michael does not heed the extremely clear warning in Helel’s voice.

                      “It’s not your fault. You inexperienced with chemical attraction and Samuel is not practiced in the virtues of abstinence and temperance. In truth, this is a good thing. You have a body right now so you can take the opportunity to spend some time on earth away from him and his well intentioned, counterproductive influence.” 

                      “Michael,” Helel removes his sister’s affectionate hand from his cheek. “Shove it.”

                     “What did you say?”

                     “I said to shove it. I am tired of your constant disdain and disapproval of my vessel!”

                     “You deserve better! You are Helel ben Sahar, shining star, son of the morning. Heaven’s best and brightest. He is a violent thieving fornicating drug addict!” Michael catches Helel’s fist as he goes to strike her almost reflexively. “Even his brother knows what he is. And look at this. You have never tried to strike me in anger before. This is his influence.”

                       “Oh you think so, do you?”

                       “Yes, you’re stubborn and prideful but you’re kind and gentle and true. Helel, you are all that is good and pure and deserve a vessel every bit as holy and righteous as you are.” Much to Michael’s consternation Helel starts to laugh, an almost hysterical pain filled laugh she never expected to hear from him.

                        “You.. you know, I’m not. I’m really not. And I never was. So many things so many... oh where do I start? I’ve been meeting with Gabriel trying to convince her to give the mark to me. When you were freed from the cage I assigned my most trusted steadfast angel to her to stay with her, protect her and report back to me and do you know why? Because you were so broken and violent and unstable that I was terrified you would snap and murder her. I worked so hard to take care of you and save her from you and I refused to help him care for his vessel’s daughter and got him tortured and killed...”

                       “Helel.” Michael sighs, holding onto her brother. “I understand. That’s not…”

                       “I tortured Raphael.” Helel confesses.  Michael tenses unable to process this.

                       “What?” Is all she can say.

                       “He wouldn’t leave her and you were so upset and depressed this leaving. You were breaking more and more everyday and…”

                       “You… you tortured him…”

                       “What did you think? That I talked some sense into him? That Gabriel somehow stopped needing him? That he changed his mind about taking care of her? Does he ever change his mind about anything?” Helel pushes away.

                       “I thought she… he looked so haggard and I thought it was Gabriel who...” Michaels hands begin to tremble. “That he left because he couldn’t… because…”

                       “No. I caught him and I tried everything I could to just make him stay. It wasn’t the first time I’d done it, I’d had to make some of them do things, they didn’t want to do. Get information. I just.. I broke him. Deliberately so you could have your favorite song back. I brainwashed him.

                        “And when dad left and you were about to throw Gabriel in the cage. I had to do something so I tried it again. He was supposed to close it by taking her place, not pushing you in.”  Michael steps back, just staring at him.

                        “You… you tortured…” She repeats.

                        “Yes.” Helel forces himself to look straight at his older sister. “I hated him. I would have been happy never to lay eyes on him again, but you needed him and I thought… I thought that without him she, that Gabriel would break and give in and give me the mark.”

                        “How… how did I not know…”

                        “I cut him off from you, from most angels, but some found out and they rebelled and….” Helel can’t keep up his guiltless air, but he still looks away.

                         “Gabriel attacked heaven because you were torturing our brother. We lost angels because you were torturing my baby brother! You…” Michael’s flames turn bright white tinged almost blue as he tries to control herself taking a deep breath. “Take your soul, the one you are looking for, and leave heaven.”

                          “Leave heaven?” Helel repeats, not wanting to believe what it seems Michael is saying.

                           “You have committed High Treason against me, the host and all of heaven. Once you leave these gates you may not return.”

                           “Well, thank you for not hurling me from the gates.” I call Helel can manage to say. Michael just turns and walks away without another word.

 

                     Mule keeps staring at the empty seat. None of them are there. Helel, Michael, Raphael, definitely not the nightingale.

                     “FUCK!” Gabriel blurts out and disappears into the veil.

                     “Jesus, it’s like herding cats, I swear to god.” The Batman loving Dean throws his hands up in the air. Mary laughs a little.

                      “Wait, what am I doing, I can’t fly. Michael.” Gabriel reappears and pulls on Michael’s arm. He doesn’t budge. “Miqa please, there is an emergency.”

                      “Oh? Is the sun on fire again? Or maybe the fish are all drowning.” He gives her a skeptical look. She gives an amused chuckle.

                     “Ha, no, nice one though, I don’t want to say it here. Please?” She gives him a dimpled smile.

                      “We’ll be back shortly.” Michael says apologetically and disappears with her. 

                      “They do know that we’re trying to prevent the end of the world here, right?” Bobby drums his fingers on the table.

                       “It’s probably family drama.” Hippy Sam say diplomatically.

                       “Family drama?” Ellen raises an eyebrow at them, leaning tiredly into her husband’s arms. “They’re putting off saving existence for family drama?”

                       “To be fair, that’s kind of what’s causing the end of the world right now. The darkness is god’s sister. Amara.” 

                       “You’re shitting with me, right?” Bobby leans forwards.

                       “No, their family drama is usually what threatens the end of the world.” Hippy Sam gives an apologetic smile. Luci gives a conceding tilt of his head.

                       “Well, theirs or ours.” Batman liking Dean says half in jest, elbowing his brother. The tight lipped look on his brother’s face doesn’t argue. ‘April’ gives a sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose. “What’s up, Raph?”

                       “Helel lost his temper with Michael, because she was insulting his vessel. And decided to tell her exactly why, no, Mule is not beneath her. Of course, being Helel h decided to confess his misdeeds instead of extolling his vessel’s virtues because heaven forbid something not be about him for once.”

                       “Sounds about right, doesn’t it, my little kitty cas.” He coos scratching behind the still annoyed kitten’s ears.

                        “Okay, give me back my damn boyfreind.” Dean reaches across the table, but Luci just scoots back.

                        “Excuse you. We are having a little father son time right now. Though come to think of it, we never have had that talk.” Luci muses.

                         “What talk? And he’s not your damn son.” 

                         “What do you mean what talk? The talk. Now, you two have been seeing each other for quite a long time. When exactly are you going to make an honest angel at my little ‘Cat’stiel?” Luci gives Dean a stern glare.

                          “What the hell are they talking about?” Bobby whispers in his wife’s ear.

                          “No idea.” She shakes her head.

                          “Will you please return Castiel?” ‘April’ asks without any of the pure hatred and hostility that radiates from Raphael my time he’s even near Helel.

                          “Since you asked me, little brother, okay. I’ll see you later, son. If he does you wrong, you just let me know.” Luci picks the cat up so they’re eye to eye and kisses his little head. The kitten is not amused. “Alright now, just so you know, if I get him again, I’m not giving him away again unless I’m walking him down the aisle. Luci hands over the kitten.

                          “Alright, since we’re all sitting around twiddling our thumbs, I gotta ask.” Bossy straightens up a little. “Why the hell are we calling you April?”

                          “Because my little sister is a pain in the ass.”

                          “And you’re not married to… Gabrielle.”

                          “No.”

                          “You are.” He points to Sam who nods. “And you’re okay with that?” He asks Luci.

                          “Hell no.”

                          “Alright. I finished over a thousand push ups not an hour ago, so since the guardians of humanity have better things to do than plan a fight against the darkness, I’m going back to bed.” Mule gets to his feet and heads back to his room.

                           “You should go to bed, too.”He hears ‘April’ instruct someone at the table.

                           “I know you’re not talking to me, little boy.” Luci responds indignantly.

                           How the hell did they progress to this point? How did they all get so… chummy? Everything was so broken at the end of those books and now, they’re so in tune. Insane, but in tune. Maybe a shower before bed. Help him relax a little. 

                            There’s no knocking on the door when he’s taking a shower, and demanding he rejoin the group, so likely the meeting’s just been rescheduled or something. Unfortunately the shower’s not as relaxing as he hoped. He kept thinking of Helel’s eyes, and desperately trying not to think of Helel’s eyes. Or the other parts of her that kept springing to mind.  He ended up just repeating naked bobby naked bobby over and over again.  Of course that’s almost undone, when he opens the door to his room, Helel’s lying on his bed, face buried into Mule’s pillow. It looks like he’s crying.

                            “Helel?” he shuts the door and goes over to the angel. “Are you alright?”

                            “No. Michael banished me from heaven.” Is the reply. “For high treason.”

                            “You told him about Raphael.” Mule concludes, Helel’s silence confirms it. “It’s okay.” He rubs his angel’s back. “Helel, as long as I’m alive, you will always have a place to go and someone who loves you. But I’m sure when he calms down he’ll forgive you and take it back.”

                            “Like Dean’s forgiven you?” Is the cold reply. Mule can’t really reply to that. Helel looks up at him, eyes wet. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”

                            “No, it’s fine. It’s okay just… c’mon.” Mule has his angel sit up, and embraces him. “I’m here. I’ll always be here for you.”


	39. The way the truth and the darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean discuss the Winchesters and the Archangels  
> Michaels are not a diplomats  
> Aunt Amara bonds with her Neice.  
> The Sheriff is not a diplomat either.

                 "Alright. Before we can plan our attack on the darkness, which is pointless because we'll die without God's intervention just like the last time, but before that, we have to have a giant family therapy session with their archangels, just when we got ours in relatively working order." Dean sits on Sam's bed. "And I doubt it'd going to be any easier than patching up things between God and Lucifer."

                 "Actually I think our archangels have a handle on that. I'm kind of more concerned about Sam and Dean." Sam confesses.

                 "Aw, I worry about us, too, but if we can survive your marriage, we can make it past anything." Dean pinches his irritated little brother's cheek. A little black kitten peeks it's head out of Dean's breast pocket and gives a mew. "Yeah, I know. Hang in there buddy." he scratches behind his ears, getting a rich purr in return.

                "So, you're not sneezing your head off." Sam points out refraining on commenting on the pure adorability of this.  

                "Oh, no, Raphael cleared up my allergies for my birthday. Probably so you could get Shelly a cat. Sometimes I wonder if he puts alot of thought into these thinks of gifts or forgets about doing it entirely and just pulls something out of his ass when reminded at the last minute." Dean gives an embarrassed scowl.

                "Oh, you mean like that Christmas where he removed the hair from your chest so you never had to shave or wax again?" Sam grins taking the opportunity. 

                "That was his fault." He frowns accusingly at his kitten-ized boyfriend. "There are some things you don't discuss with your brother, Cas."

                "Really because I do recall you asking me for advise on win..." Dean quickly claps his hands over his brother's mouth. "Anyway." Sam brushes his hand away. "I'm serious about those two. They're about as close to hating each other as you can get without actually hating each other. It's like it's only going to take one little push to send it over the edge."

                "On the plus, side I doubt anyone's ever mistaken them for a gay couple." Dean nudges him. "Look, Bobby's right. This is not the time to be getting into all this. They need to just pull it together and focus on fighting the darkness."

               "You know it's not that easy, Dean." Sam chides him.  

               "No, it's not easy, but that doesn't mean they can't fucking do it. We just need to force them to sit down and focus." Dean puts his hands on his hips trying to think.

              "Oh? And how would you do that?" Gabriel's voice in his hear makes him jump slightly and turn around to see the angel sitting on the night stand behind him. 

              "Did you get your wings back?" Sam asks.

              "What? No. Michael dropped me off and I stopped time for a bit to position myself." she shakes her head. "He's going to try and talk to the other Michael. I figure hearing about Luci's misdeeds and mine and Raph's and how he dealt with it will help put things in perspective for her a little at the very least."

              "Or drive him over the edge completely. I wish we had Alex here to be honest, but she didn't help this Michael the way she did ours, so he wouldn't have any real reason to trust her." Dean sighs.

              "That and Raphael would tear our heads off if we brought her over here, with or without the baby." Sam adds

              "Right." Dean shakes his head, starting to pace the room. "Still, do you really think Michael's the one to calm him down?"

              "Well, she's mad at Helel, so Luci's out. She hates the nightingale, so I'm out. Raphael both hates and betrayed her so hearing from Raphael that he'd have done what she considers a betrayal too won't help at all. Miqa can at least understand her a little." Gabriel hops down to the bed and stretches out. "Now if you'll excuse us, we need to get in some end of the world loving in while we can."

              "Fine, but can you please stop giving Castiel to the devil?"

              "I'm just trying to encourage Luci to like him, that's all. Who can resist a cute widdle kitty Cas?" She coos and goes to scratch his chin. Castiel just bites her instead. "Relax, we have time right? She needs a body and has to grow up a bit so we can take the time to prepare as best we can. And that includes helping the mirror-verse archangels get their shit together."

              "What about your father?" Sam asks.

              "Yeah, we sat at his house until you guys came, and he never showed. So dad... he'll come or he won't, but either way we at least have to try to do something." She holds back a sigh. "If only to minimize the damage until he does."

              "Right. I'm going to go back to bed. I'll make you if they get their act together." Dean heads out of the room giving them privacy.

              "Finally!" Gabriel locks the door. "Time to break some furniture, samcake!"

              Michael sits on the edge of the flowing magma. Heaven is is Chaos. First the darkness and now even if the darkness is defeated, Helel ben Sahar, the shining star of heaven has been banished. Some are already talking of rebelling, or casting Michael out instead, as if they could. They're angry, but so is Michael. He's the one who's been betrayed after all, multiple times by the one person he trusted and depended on above all others. Ironically though, his little brother did prove his point. Sam wasn't an unworthy vessel, he was just a sign, warning Michael of the bitter truth. What does it even matter anyway?

               The other Michael lands before him, but he's prepared this time and encases his counterpart in a wall of lava. The other one may be a skilled fighter but in terms of sheer power, Michael has him bested. They struggle to control the flow, but the heat generated is dangerous. If one of them doesn't yeild the volcano may erupt completely. When the other him is first to draw back, something inside of Michael snaps. A better sibling, a better child, and a better fighter, now a better protector of humanity. Fine. Let him protect them. Michael channels his fire into the core, setting off an intense reaction that he barely manages to flee in time to save his vessel from harm. What does it matter, the world's about to end anyway.

              There's faint cry to him from the angels he and Helel assigned to the rift between threads, then nothing. Since Michael is the one they call too when in physical danger, even if it hasn't happened in a while, he heads there as fast as he can. when he arrives there are nothing but empty vessels lying on the floro. They're all perfectly intact, just unconscious but the angels are gone from them completely. No burn marks, no blades, no sign that these vessels ever contained anything but it's own soul, which seems to be missing as well. 

    “Michael, who is like god.” He hears a small voice behind him and turns to face a young girl, covered in a thick cloak. “Junior, essentially. Of course, he would name you after himself. Though you’re more like me, and your brother, the pretty one is more like him than was good for you.”

        “Hello, Amara.” He says dully, kneeling in front of her to speak face to face.

        “You’re not running? Or attacking me? You’re not afraid?” She looks at him curiously.

        “I don’t see much of a point for any. I can’t stop you. My father has long since abandoned me. The ones I loved the most have betrayed me. I have failed at every task ever set to me.  I would only ask you to make it quick. And perhaps to spare my vessel to give him a few last days with his family.”

        “Oh, my poor, poor Michael.” She reaches a hand up to caress his cheek. “I won’t hurt you. I’m not my brother, cruel and capricious. Not that you would know, all you know of me you know from him. Come, leave your vessel and talk with me.”

        “Talk?”

        “Talk. I don’t know much of anything about this place. Or this form or whatever it is my brother created and why it’s so much more important than the one who loved him first and best.”

        “I won’t take you to heaven. I can’t stop you but I won’t help you.”

        “If not heaven, then what about the heavens. Can you show me the stars. I believe you helped to place them?” she considers.

        “I can show you the stars.”

        “Thank you.” She smiles and takes his hand, letting him pull her up to the heavens.

        The Sheriff puts a hand to his cheek as he feels them leave. What just happened?

        “Michael?” He calls, trying to remember what occurred, but stops as he sees something on his hand. A creeping blackness infects his veins. The men on the ground slowly get to their feet and look around. The black veins are on their arms, or chests, their neck, ones is spreading from her lips. This is it, the corruption the other’s had talked about. And he has no holy oil. “Michael!”

         “It’s lovely.” Amara looks at the blue giant from the sanctuary of her cape. Standing beside Michael on the dead world. “Peaceful. It’s so… chaotic back there.”

          “And fragile.” Michael curls his wings around his shoulders.

          “He always makes everything so fragile and then gets angry when you break it, but it all just breaks itself regardless.” She scowls. “He’s so stubborn, Never listens to anyone. Never takes any criticism. The leviathan, I fixed them, and they know what he does? He has you four destroy them, and lock them away. Is that fair?”

          “They were eating everything.”

          “So?” She shrugs, “He could just make more. He loves to create things.” She shrugs, “I didn’t just abandon them when I was done either.”

          “No, I suppose you didn’t.”

          “Do you know what it’s like to be trying your best for your sibling only to be betrayed and thrown away, locked up for so… so long all alone as if you didn’t even matter at all?” She looks up at him.

           “Yes.” Michael closes his eyes the utter loneliness and pain of solitude, starting to well up inside him.

           “I know you do.” The darkness reaches out and wraps itself around him, hemming in his flames. “He betrayed you every bit as much as he betrayed me. I raised him, cared for him and gave him everything, and none of it mattered. It wasn’t enough for him. I was never enough.”

           “Neither am I.” Michael looks away. “I did everything I was asked, everything he wanted, and yet he still.... I’m a failed creation. A failure of a child, a failure of a sibling.”

            “Maybe you’re not what he wanted, but how is that your fault? He made you didn’t he? Your flaws are his mistakes, not yours. What do you wish to be? I can help you if you let me.” Amara cajoles him.

            “I was blinded by my love for my brothers. I couldn’t see the truth. I couldn’t see what they did, what they thought of me, what they really are. I wish I could see things clearly for who and what they are and not what I wish them to be.”

            “I think that’s doable. I’ll take it away from you, that blinding core that’s caused you so much pain, if you let me.” She offers. “You can be my light, and we will never have to suffer alone again.”

             “I don’t want you to destroy everything. I don’t want you to hurt anyone. I… I won’t..” Michael feels a deep misgiving inside herself.

             “Michael, if you’ll stay with me, and let me help you, I swear upon all that ever was and ever will be, I will harm nothing you hold dear.” Amara promises.

             “Nothing?”

             “If you wish it to exist, I will let it exist.” She swears with an earnest look in her eyes.

             “Why? Aren’t you evil? Don’t you want to destroy everything and everyone?” He asks though his heart is wavering. If she’s telling the truth, then maybe he could save something, keep his loved ones alive and safe but never be hurt by them again. If not, he won’t help her destroy them, and it would make no difference at all.

              “No of course not! And evil by who’s definition? God’s? All he cares about is himself.Not us, but so help me I still love him. No, I don’t want destruction or pain or hate or anger. It’s so cruel of him to make those terrible things. Suffering, apathy entropy. He villifies destruction but weaves it into the fabric of the universe. Makes it inevitable. Stay with me, Michael, be my Light and we will never have to be alone and in pain, not ever again.”

 

          “What happened?” Raphael asks as Michael claws his way out of the hardened mass of rock.

           “He attacked me.” Michael looks outright embarrassed. “I didn’t even get a chance to speak to him.”

           “Well, you did kind of blitz him last time.” His Raphael heals the burns that half melted a portion of his flesh away, as the other goes down to the villaige.

           “He almost destroyed my vessel!”

           “I see that. It took the four of us to stop the eruption and reverse the damage. The amount of power he put into it would have left a good sized dent in the earth.”

           “Four of you?” Michael tests out his limbs. All is functioning normally. Not that he expected differently. His Raphael can heal leviathan wounds, he can certainly heal damage done my Michael himself, any Michael.

            “Helel and Gabriel came with us.” Both Raphael’s respond.

            “I wish you’d stop that. It’s kind of creepy.” Gabriel slides down the side of the volcano. They both grin at her.

             “Why whatever do you mean?” They ask.

             “You’re not twins! And you’re not even identical!”

             “Are you alright?” Helel asks him, keeping his distance.

             “Yes.”

             “Is she?”

             “Yes.” Michael replies through clenched teeth.

             “Good.”

             “I simply wanted to try and talk to him about your banishment.” Michael explains. “I know he loves you, he was just… upset.”

             “Oh?” What did you do to make him that upset? Destroy half humanity? Sleep with your vessel?” The other Raphael crosses his arms.

             “I tortured you.” Helel looks him squarely in the eyes. Raphael doesn’t reply, he just stares wide eyed at his elder brother. “Why do you look so surprised? Did you somehow forget your re-education?” He asks sarcastically.

             “No. I never forgot and I never will. Are you saying… are you saying that you did it without Michael’s knowledge? Without her approval?” He looks almost horrified as he asks the questions.

             “Are you kidding me? She never would have authorized something like that! You’re Momma Miqa’s baby boy.”

             “I th- I thought…”  His voice catches in his throat. Raphael embraces his stricken counterpart, while Gabriel hangs onto Michael’s arm as if to preemptively try to restrain her.

             “She needed you back.” Is the weak explanation.

             “You left out a little, Gabriel.” Michael frowns at his little sister who gives him a sheepish grin. An almost panicked prayer reaches him. It’s clearly meant for the other Michael but the desperation in it seems to imply either of them would do at the moment. “Raphael, bring Gabriel back to the inn. Michael’s vessel is in trouble and she’s not responding to him.”

             “I’m coming with you.” Helel follows him as they fly there. The sheriff is there gun in hand, the bodies of four men with veins stained black lay on the floor. One dies even as they arrive.

             “They attacked me.” His hand is trembling, the veins reaching to his fingertips.

             “I’ll be right back.” Michael returns to the inn and grabs some holy oil and the nearest Winchester.

              “Where is she? Where’s Michael? What happened to Michael?” Helel has hold of the hunter, who kind of slumps down.

              “Unless you feel like getting burned by holy fire more.” Jo pushes her aside and pours a small circle of holy oil around the both of them. “Dean, honey.” She holds him up near the flames. The corruption starts to dissipate, misting off of him. “Dean? Are you okay? Talk to me, baby.” She keeps her arm around his shoulders.

              “It’s okay,” He turns to her, putting his arms around her. “I’m okay. I promise I’m okay. “ Helel clears his throat as they start to passionately embrace.

               “Where is my sister? What’s happened to Michael?” He demands.

               “I don’t know. The last I remember you were telling him about your multiple treasonous betrayals and he just should me aside. I don’t… I think the darkness took him. No he...left with her… he didn’t even try to… what the hell is wrong with you?” Dean turns to Helel. “Why would you… why would you tell him that?”

               “The question is why would you let him talk about your brother that way. And not say anything in his defense.”

                “Because everything he said about Sam was true. I hate it, but that doesn’t change it. I wouldn’t want someone I cared about involved with him either.”

                “You two are just alike. You… judgemental heartless assholes! You think you’re so perfect and never give anyone any quarter or any understanding. And you wonder why he hates you.” Helel disappears taking off into the ether calling for his sister. But there’s not a trace. It’s as if his Mitcha’s light has been erased from the universe.


	40. One is Silver and the Other Gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helel's littlest brother offers his support  
> Michael pays a visit to Mary  
> Claire is grateful  
> Helel has had it with the indignities of unresolved sexual tension.

               Helel lays on Mule’s bed, hugging the pillow. It’s odd how comforting it is. Michael didn’t even fight? The darkness comes and took Michael away and all she asked for was a quick death and the life of her vessel. No matter where Helel went there was no trace of her vessel. No matter where Helel went there was no trace of her, of either of them. This is all his fault. He never should have told.. no he never should have done those unforgivable things.

              “Helel?” A timid choice is at the bedside. He looks up to see the hunched shoulders and meek posture of what could only be his librarian. Harahel in his first vessel, the first time on earth, first time out of heaven, “Are you okay?” That the first thing he ask isn’t ‘is it true?’ or ‘What should we do?’ but ‘Are you okay?’ Makes him want to cry.

             “I will be.” Helel smiles, sitting up and resuming a more dignified position.

             “Is there anything I can do?”

             “Just keep being Harahel and know that you’re brave and strong and valuable in more ways than you think.  Heaven needs you even if they don’t know it. I’m sorry I didn’t know it earlier, and I deeply regret not encouraging you to bloom.”

             “Do you want me to stay with you?” Harahel asks almost impulsively.

             “Yes, I do, but more importantly I want you to be happy and good and continue doing what you love to do in a place you feel comfortable and secure and to always have that option, so go back to heaven and take care of my library. Maybe see about going out and collecting a few works yourself instead of Nathaniel doing it all the time.”

              “Oh, but you said… because of my sword…” Harahel looks surprised.

              “I was wrong. You are a wonderful angel and and your vessel will adore you.” He chucks his baby brother’s chin. “I’ll miss my study buddy, though.” Harahel throws his arms around his brother’s neck. 

               “I will stay with you if you want me to.  I don’t care about the library. I just care about you.” He cries, holding tightly. “I will. I really, really mean it.”

                “I know you would.” Helel pats the librarian’s back.

                “Others would too. A lot of our brother’s would. They don’t think it’s right. You’ve done so much even if you made a few mistakes, you were trying to do the right thing. Or… or at least get the right result.” Harahel let’s go and bashfully clasping his hands behind his back. It’s probably the nicest way anyone’s ever told someone that they think they were in the wrong.  “And we don’t know what happened to Michael. She won’t respond to anybody or anything and we’re getting scared and we don’t know what to do. Some of them have started fighting and nobody knows what to do.”

                 “I see.” Helel considers. “If I entrust you with a message, will you take it to the garden and deliver it to everyone for me?”

                 “Yes, of course. Anything...H..how… how do you mean?” Harahel’s enthusiasm dims as he thinks about it. 

                 “Present it as given, exactly without interpretation.”

                 “To… to everyone?”

                 “Yes, please?”

                 “Are you sure you want me to do it? I could get Naomi or.. or.. Zachariah… or…”

                 “Yes, I’m sure. If I wanted them to I’d have said so, I want you to do it. I trust you.”

                 “Okay.” Harahel takes a breath and straightens up. “What message would you like me to give?” Helel looks at the nervous angel and considers. Better to give him something to refer to and proof that it’s Helel’s words. Harahel is an unlikely choice for herald. 

                  “Bring me a scroll.” He requests. “I’ll write it down.”

                  Mary sits in the impala, trying to think of what to do. While she appreciates Helel’s impassioned defense of her son, telling Michael about his deceit was incredibly ill timed. He was barely holding together as it was. Sure she knew he was strong enough to bare his own mistake, but only because he had Helel beside him, supporting him. Taking that away and he just crumbled. She hadn’t realized he was quite that fragile, though. She should have. She of all people knows that mothers sometimes had to be taken care of, too.

                 “Mary.” A voice echoes in her mind as her eyes start to droop again.  This startles her awake and she looks around. It’s dark outside, not even the moon is out, but for some reason it’s increasingly warm. Like she’s parked next to an oven. The heat makes her sleepy but as she starts to fall asleep again, the voice returns. “Mary.” A little louder and the brush beside her ignites in flames.

                 “Holy shit!” she sits up and looks outside, a dark figure is standing in the midst of the flames. She goes for her blade, but Luci never gave it back to her and bullets probably wouldn’t do any good. If only she had a fire extinguisher.

                 “Don’t be afraid.” While the time is rather flat, the way it speaks is familiar. “I would never hurt you Mary.”

                 “Michael? “She opens the door and steps out reeling from the heat. The figure steps back, as she sits hard back on the seat.  “What… Are you okay?”

                 “Yes, I have a better vessel now.”

                 “Your better vessel is setting the landscaping on fire.” Mary looks down at the flames. Michael clenches his dark fists and the fire extinguishers, leaving only glowing embers.  The heat remains though Michael is almost invisible. “We’ve all been worried about you, Michael. The darkness took you, we feared the worst.”

                 “Aunt Amara didn’t hurt me. She doesn’t want to hurt anyone.”

                 “Oh? She’s not upset about being locked away since the dawn of time?”

                 “Yes, of course she is, but she doesn’t hold us responsible for our father’s actions, for his mistakes.”

                 “No? that’s… incredibly reasonable of her.” Mary says cautiously. “Are you alright... you know, emotionally? I know that must have been heard hearing what Helel did.”

                 “It was. But it was my own fault. my feelings clouded my judgement. I should never have trusted Helel the way I did. After all, he was created to deceive.”

                 “That’s a little harsh, don’t you think?”

                 “I’m not blaming him either. We are all what our father made us.” That doesn’t sound as reassuring as it should be, especially the matter of fact way he says it.

                  “Well, yes, but he made us with options, choice, free will. We’re what he made us, but we’re also what we made ourselves. Michael, you don’t sound like yourself. You don’t… look like yourself… And I’m not talking about vessels.”

                  “I know. I’m not the angel you knew anymore, Mary. Michael was a flawed failed creation of an uncaring god. I’m free complete and better able to serve the true arbiter of existence, Amara.” 

                  “What about your father? Michael you have always loved and respected and admired your father. No matter what happened you always had faith that there was something more that you just didn’t understand.” She wants to embrace him and comfort him to take away the words that sound so hollow and empty he must be in pain, even if he doesn’t know it.

                  “There was something I didn’t understand. I didn’t understand that the love and respect I had for him was not returned at all. He threw me away as if I was nothing to him. He abandoned me and showed me he no longer considered me his child. Now that I am not blinded by my own feelings, I can see that. I can accept that. He made me flawed and rejected me for it, but Amara has taken me, forgiven me and absolved me of my shortcomings. She’s fixed me and claimed me as her own. Michael is dead, Mary. I’m Pashoresa now.”

                 “Pas… Michael, the only thing wrong with you was that you thought you were broken.” Mary stands up again and steps forwards reaching out to him.

                 “You were always very kind to me, Mary. Dean was a good partner and the best vessel made available to anyone, but you were my friend and I loved you very much. I would ask you to stand down and try to accept what’s about to happen. There is much in you worth preserving if I can, but only if you don’t force it otherwise.” Words that should be warm and comforting make her feel oddly chilled. “Goodbye, Mary. Remember what I’ve said. I’ll give you as much time as I can. Please, trust me, as I’ve trusted you.” He vanishes leaving only ashes and darkness behind him. 

 

                 “Helel?” Claire knocks on the door. She can hear voices inside. Hopefully she’s not interrupting anything.

                 “One moment.” She hears.

                 “You’re sure you want me…” A timid voice asks from inside.

                 “Yes. I’m sure. Thank you.” Helel opens the door. The young man looks both terrified and over the moon at this and holds a large scroll and glass feather to his chest.

                 “Okay.” He squeaks and disappears. Helel gives a laugh.

                 “Fan of yours?” Claire grins.

                 “My librarian. Is everything okay?”

                 “Yes.” she hugs him, “Dad’s asleep so I wanted to thank you.”

                 “You’re welcome.” Helel blushes as he sees Mule coming up the stairs at the end of the hall.  “I’m sorry, it may be such a short time, but I asked him and they both agreed it was best one of them could be with you. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you both.”

                  “No, it’s… it’s fine.” Claire wipes her eyes. “And… you… look I.. I don’t think you and your brother know each other very well. He probably won’t forgive you, but… I mean. You’re both really good people. And he is, I know you don’t... I’m sorry. I know I sound ungrateful. You gave me back my father, but… Raphael kept me safe and well treated for ten years. He made sure I was healthy and relatively happy and educated. If I’m not a total psycho now, he’s the reason why, so..” She twists her fingers, and shrug. I’m going back to my Dad. Thank you again.” She turns and hurried off. “Hey, Mule.”

                   “Hey, Claire.” He smiles at her and looks up to Helel, his smile broadening a little. “Hey.”

                   “Hi.” Helel smiles back.” Thank you for letting me use your room.”

                   “You’re welcome to anything and everything I own.” He looks down at the apron he realizes he’s still wearing and puts it off. “I was.. helping with the dishes. Jo usually does when she’s here, but she and my brother aren’t leaving their room until they have to.”

                   “That does seem to be typical human reaction to a brush with death.” Helel shrugs. “I’ll... let you rest... if you need rest. Which you do, because humans need rest. Quite frequently.”

                    “No, I’m okay. Are you okay?”

                    “I’m okay. Are you okay?” Helel feels the urge to smack his own face, what on earth is wrong with him? He has never had trouble talking to Mule before. Why does he now?

                    “I’m okay.” Thankfully Mule doesn’t seem to notice. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? “Would… do you want… would you… we could go…” Mule seems to be losing his thoughts as well. “Walk? With me? Outside? To places? We could… do you want to go for a walk?”

                     “Yes.” Seems the safest thing to try to say, and hardest to screw up. What is wrong with him? This is ridiculous. This is Mule. 

                     “Let me take a shower first, and we’ll go. “Mule points to the bathroom.

                     “If you like, I could take you to a nice waterfall and hot spring.” There, see, just a little concentration.

                     “That works. I’ll just get changed.” Mule heads into his room, Helel closes the door behind them. “Um,” Mule blushes. “Can you…”

                      “I have seen you naked body before.” Helel says indignantly. “Just because I’m human doesn’t mean I’m going to loose control of all my senses and ravage you!”

                      “Right.” Mule goes to the closet.

                      “Mule?” Helel looks up. “Do you want to have sex with me?” Mule misses the doorknob and somehow manages to slam his face into the side of the door frame. “I’m sorry, here.” He taps Mule’s forehead and removes the blood from his lip. “I only ask because my brother seems convinced that you do and that I do enough to actually do it despite the risks.”

                     “Mine, too.” Mule covers his face.

                     “And I do know the signs of sexual attraction. I just… it seems odd that it would disrupt us like this when we know each other so well and love each other so much.” 

                     “It’s, um, I would never… i would never degrade you that way Helel. It’s likely just that… you are beautiful, especially your eyes, and I haven’t been able to… since Bree I just can’t trust anyone enough to relax and.. I do trust you and care for you and as you said men, and women have needs. But I want… it’s not something you have to worry about. Or talk about or do anything about. Or talk about anymore.”

                     “ I don’t like being an idiot, Mule. It’s annoying.” Helel sits down on the bed. “So how do we make this go away? i need my Mule right now, but I also need my brain.”

                     “I don’t know. Let me google it.” Mule takes out his tablet.

                     “Google. You people are always inventing new words. It’s not as if you have a shortage of them,” Helel shakes his head.

                      “Alright… First solution… release the tension. Not what we want. cold shower, doesn’t work. Heavy exercise… maybe… see a prostit… uh, no.. are there really herbs that eliminate sexual desire? I know some antidepressants do…”

                      “Everything’s changed so much since I’ve been down last, broccoli didn’t even exist then. I’d have to ask Raphael and I’d rather hire a thousand prostitutes then do that.”

                      “Yoga?” Mule tries to ignore the statement. “Get over the idea that sex is bad and change your religion.” This one makes Helel laugh.

                      “Neither of us believes sex is bad.”

                      “You don’t?”

                      “No. It’s a human thing. Reduces stress, promotes closer bonds, virility. The issues are consent and pregnancy not sex itself.  When you’re in a vessel you can’t just do what you like with it. You need both vessels permission and the other person’s knowledge and acceptance of the situation and it’s not often it’s a good idea to reveal yourself as a vessel. It’s even less often you’re in a vessel for any but the most vital of missions. Then there’s the issue of nephilim  which to date has always killed the mother and needlessly ending human life is a very serious matter. Sex is not a crime in and of itself.  It’s just usually accompanied by them to such a degree. That it’s flat out forbidden. Much like the argument for incarcerating drug addicts. It’s not the drugs themselves, it’s the fact that so many crimes are associated with them. Also like old testiment dietary rules. Yes there are certain situations where it’s not harmful to partake of those items but at the time and place it was just better to forbid them entirely.” Helel lectures. Mule can’t help but smile at him. Helel’s so much cuter being a pedantic know it all in this body. 

                       “You do realize you just said sex and drugs were equivalent to pork, right?” Mule grins.

                       “Don’t minimize this, Samuel. We’re going to have to work together to save existence. That’s going to be hard if our brains turn to much every time we’ve never each other. “Helel chides him, putting his hand on his hips. “Alright, since it’s likely due to your lack of release as much as anything, and your incredibly deprived need for physical connection with another human being. We’ll just have to find you a prostitute.” Helel’s conclusion is entirely different from what Mule was expecting. “And you won’t have to trust them, just me. I’ll make certain they won’t hurt, fool, infect, harm or betray you in any way.”

                     “Um..” Mule can’t think of anything to say. And there’s not much of a point in saying anything when Helel gets like this, honestly. When the emotions well up to the point he just decides to shut them all down, you just have to humor him for a little while until he comes to his senses. Arguing just makes him dig his heels in and go even more extreme.

                    “Alright.” Helel snaps Mule into his favorite casual wrap. “Let’s go.”


	41. Sister knows best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Michael's make their younger siblings decisions for them.

                “Where’s Helel?” Mary asks bursting into the bar as Sam and Dean play a sort of three way bridge game against the Raphaels and Gabriel and Castiel.

                 “Off somewhere with Mule. He’s trying to find him a prostitute to help ease the sexual tension without having to do anything that would make his Michael kill your son.” Gabriel grins.

                  “What?” Almost everyone at the table looks at her. Gabriel just laughs.

                  “I know. Helel’s totally lost it, it’s as hillarious as it is disturbing.” She shuffles the cards. “Don’t worry. I doubt it’s going to happen. Even if Mule does over come his objections somehow, Helel’s far too possessive to let him actually go through with it. Now, everyone promise to make amused comments about the whole thing when they get back. Okay?” She points to everyone warningly.

                   “I can’t believe you’re actually shipping them” Sam shakes his head at her.

                   “Shipping?” Dean frowns.

                   “I know right! But they’re just so cute. And I sure as hell don’t want any Sam with that Psycho Bitch. No offense, Raph.” She winks at the other Raphael.

                    “None taken, I know what she is.” He replies quietly. Raphael reaches over to pat his counterparts shoulder. Mary just covers her face and takes a deep breath. “Is something wrong?”

                    “Yes. But it’s something I need to discuss with Helel first and formost. Though where’s your Michael?”

                     “Taking care of Lucifer. He was tortured and killed by the darkness in our thread, so this is especially difficult for him.” Sam replies before his wife can say something indiscreet.

                      “Especially as he’s currently human.” Raphael nods.

                      “Don’t you think it might be useful for him to have his grace? Or was it all used up in Castiel?” The nightingale’s husband asks.

                       “No, it’s… I don’t think he’s ready. Regardless of the situation. I don’t..." Raphael shakes his head.

                       “Just tell me where your Michael is. If  I can’t talk to Helel I should probably talk to him.” Mary interrupts.

                       “He’s busy. Look, why don’t you just talk to us. I know we’re not your sons and you don’t really know us, but we are on your side.” Dean stands up. “I mean, we could’ve just gone home and tried to fix the tear between universes and leave you all to deal with this, but we didn’t and that should count for something.”

                        “You’re right.” She pulls out a chair, and sits down in it backwards, resting her head on the back. “I’m worried about Michael. My Michael. Something’s happened to him. The darkness took him and she did something. Changed him somehow, and I don’t…” She shakes her head.

                         “Why don’t you tell us what happened?” Sam puts the cards down. “Did you see him? Talk to him?”

                         “Yes.” Mary looks to the floor, and takes a breath. “I was in the car just… thinking, when he called my name...”

                        “No!” Luci shakes his head. “I’m not staying behind and I’m certainly not leaving you to face the darkness without me.”

                        “Be reasonable…” Michael chides him. “What exactly you do as you are?”

                        “At least as much as the Winchesters and you’re not trying to shunt them home.” He points towards the bar.

                        “No, I’m not. Because they haven’t been through what you have. They haven’t been as damaged by it. I don’t care nearly as much about whether they live or die.” This last blunt pronouncement makes Luci smile despite himself. “The last time I fought the darkness, I failed to protect you. i can’t risk anything happening to you again. I just can’t, Helel. Michael presses his forehead against Luci’s. “Please. Go back home and a way to seal the rift between threads. Save our nieces and our brothers and yourself. Don’t make me live without you.”

                         “Do you think I want to live without you?” Luci shoves him.”Do you, you selfish ass?”

                         “No, but I know you can.”

                         “Mitcha, do you really trust me to live without my light? Even if you do, do you think that I’ll live very long at all without my brothers and sisters protecting me?”

                         “If I recall, you did it just fine.” Michael smiles at him that irritating almost patronizing smile that somehow manages to mix. ‘I told you so’ and ‘I’m so proud of you’

                          “Not fine enough to get my grace back.”

                          “Your grace didn’t keep you alive the last time you face her, now did it?” Michael retorts. Luci doesn’t say anything to this, he just looks at Michael not quite pouting and not quite close to tears, but close enough to make his big sister regret it. “I’m sorry.” Michael holds him tightly. “I didn’t…”

                          “I haven’t had a seizure in two years, you know. And why should any of you stay and fight? Why should i lose you and Gabriel? Or Raphael when we’re just really starting being able to stand each other? A few years is nothing. If it’s so dangerous that you want me to go why shouldn’t all of you go, too? Let them take care of their own problems. It’s not as if we don’t have enough of our own.”

                         “That kind of thinking is why he’s not giving you your grace back, my shining star.” Michael chides him. Luci just sighs and puts a hand to her cheek.    

                         “Don’t ask me to leave you, Mitcha. Any of you.”

                         “Alright., I won’t.” Michael relents and kisses him. “I love you.” 

                         “I love you, too.” Luci runs his fingers through Michael’s hair. “You know, though. You could always try seducing me to turn me to your point of view.” He suggests casually.

                          “Will that work?”

                          “No, not really, but it’s worth a try right? After all anything’s possible if you just have faith.” Luci winks. Michael laughs and kisses him.

 

                           “Is she ever going to do anything?” Shelly frowns at the silent solemn baby staring up at her.

                           “No. She’s going to stay like this for ever, learning nothing, not growing an inch. She’s never going to eat ice cream or cake. And that’s the real shame.” Alex teases, keeping her face straight. Shelly just looks up at her with that cute little face she makes when she’s unamused.

                           “I was never this boring.” Shelly announces, frowning at the baby who just looks at her. “Why is she looking at me? Stop looking at me!” She covers teh baby’s eyes with her hands. Abigail gives a startled noise at this.

                         “Shelly, she’s looking at you because she likes you.” Alex removes her hand.

                        “No, but she’s not smiling. When you like something you smile.”

                        “She’s too little to smile. She doesn’t know how yet. All she knows how to do is look at things and cry and make little noises. She’s still not sure how she’s doing that. But the more you smile at her and talk to her the easier it will be for her to learn how. Look, she finds you so fascinating.” Alex nods to the baby who’s staring amazed at at Shelly’s movement making her curls bounce. 

                        “I wish she was fascinating.” Shelly sighs and looks over at the fledglings doing their drills.

                        “You can go join them if you want.”

                        “No.” Shelly shakes her head. “I am her guardian angel so I have to guard her even if she is stupid and boring.”

                        “You know, I bet she’d like to hear you sing. I know I would.”

                        “Okay. Um… cuando los pollitos, pio pio pio…” Shelly pinches her fingers together for the little dance. “Something something something, cuando tiene frio.” Abigail gives a little squeak. “Shush, I’m singing.”

                         “Miqa!” The cry goes up from the fledglings as Michael flies over, Luci in his arms. Fortunately, thanks to a thorough scolding from Michele, they remember not to shout this time and it’s just an enthusiastic whisper. “Is Helel okay? Why is he sleeping? Where’s his grace?”

                          “He’s alright.” Michael reassures them, landing near Alex. “How are my favorite girls?” He smiles at the three, and gently puts his brother down on the grass.

                       “Is there something we should know?” Alex raises his eyebrows at Michael.

                       “Yes. Luci is not going to participate in the fight against Amara this time. I’ve already instructed the angels not to let him through the rift.”

                        “I’m assuming given he is unconscious that he’s not exactly on board with this plan.”

                        “No, not really. I’m hoping you can convince him that this is the best course of action.” Michael says this so matter of factly that she wants to punch him. As if he’s not even asking something insanely difficult and virtually impossible. He’s really not aware of what an unreasonable demanding bastard he can be. What’s worse is that he really truly believes the person he’s demanding things of is capable of it.

                        “Auntie Miqa! I’m protecting Abigail!” Shelly tugs on his shirt. “I’m her guardian angel.” She beams.

                        “I know Raphael told me. Do you have anything for me to report back?”

                        “Ummm, let’s see. She still doesn’t do anything but rudely stare at people and sleep and cry, but I burped her seven times and brought Alex fourteen diapers. I changed six but most of them were just too yukky.” Shelly wrinkles her nose. “I want to help give her a bath but Ms.Alex says I’m not big enough yet.”

                       “She’s also very good about making sure Courage doesn’t bark too loud or scare the baby and shelly also set up and enforces a barrier so the fledgling don’t come too close in top large numbers and overstimulates her.”

                       “Oh, is that what these are for?” Michael looks over the large circle of flower chains in a large circle around Alex and the baby and their things.

                       “Yes.”

                       “That’s a very good idea. I think some bushes would be better though, harder to miss…” Michael examines it.

                       “I did too but I can only make daisy chains.” Shelly complains.

                       “Have you asked any of your aunt and uncles to help you?”

                       “No!” She gives him an indignant look, putting her hands on her hips. ‘This is my job. i have to do it myself.”

                       “No, Michele. You don’t.”

                       “But…”

                       “Shelly.” Michael kneels down in front of her. “When you are charged with a task, the important thing is not that you yourself do everything, unless specifically told to,  but that the task gets done as well as it possibly can be. That often means getting help from those who can do things we can’t. It’s not easy to do. Only the most grown up responsibility people can do it.”

                “Oh, so I can’t then… “Shelly looks down, discouraged.

                “You absolutely can. Because you are a caring intelligent girl and if you are willing to learn, Luci can teach you when he wakes. I will report your good work to Raphael. I’m sure he will be as pleased with your performance as I am.” Michael gives her a kiss on the forehead. Shelly gives her brightest smile and darts over to grab courage ask he creeps towards the baby.

                 “No, no, no.” She scolds.

                 “Michael?” Alex looks up at him. “Would it be possible for us to go home? When Luci wakes.”

                  “I would prefer you to stay here, but the shelter is as good as the abyss at the moment, provided we keep the darkness on the right thread. Thank you Alex.” He bends down to hug her. “I just want you to know, how grateful I am to you and how glad I am Raphael found you.”

                   “Tell, Raph, I love him, okay? I’m glad I found him, too.”  Alex gives him a squeeze. “We’ll see you soon.” Michael just smile and gives Abigail a kiss before taking off.

 

                   Bree straightens up as she hears the desperate cried from the brothers and sisters that followed her to Sheol. Chaos darkness destruction, the souls are being devoured. What does it matter? Raphael’s abandoned her anyways. She’s just stuck here in Their Place, alone.

                   “Gabriel.” The voice of her imminent death call to her. She ignores her sister,and just waits to die. “Sister.”

                    “I know you’re not talking to me.” Bree replies, looking at storm on the planet’s surface.

                    “The feelings I had for you don’t change that we are sisters, Gabriel.”

                    “Oh, Just shut up and do it already, Michael. I can’t run away but that doesn’t mean I want to listen to some fucking lecture or justification for my murder first.”

                    “I blamed you for things that weren’t either not your doing or not your responsibility. I let my own guilt and frustration cloud my judgement. Those I trusted betrayed me but I betrayed you first.”

                    “Don’t worry about it. I never trusted you.” Bree shrugs it off. “Or thought you loved me.”

                    “I’m not worried. I’m simply stating a fact.” This response makes Bree look back. The sight of a Michael composed of hot metal darkness startles her.

                    “Wow, new look.” she raises an eyebrow. “I thought it was you destroying Sheol somehow.”

                    “No. Our Aunt needs sustenance and the souls there are otherwise useless.”

                    “Those are my souls, Michael! My place, you can’t just give my th…”

                    “Pashoresa.” Michael interrupts her.

                    “What?”

                    “My name is Pashoresa now.” She asserts. Bree just looks at her a minute.

                    “Pashoresa. Daughter of darkness. Are you fucking serious?” Bree raises an eyebrow at her. “I can get being pissed at dad, but that doesn’t make him not our dad. And ‘Aunt’ Amara isn’t our mother.”

                    “Our father doesn’t want us, she does. So I am choosing to be wanted. Who is like God? Not me. I never was.”

                    “Not as much as Helel anyways but…” She shrugs. “But seriously? Changing your name. And I thought Helel was the drama queen.” Bree rolls her eyes. “What do you want?”

                    “You’re a broken mess abandoned and betrayed. Amara fixed me. She can fix you too.” The calm flat offer pisses Bree off. “And you’re hardly one to talk about changing names, Nightingale.”

                     “You called me that, you bitch! I didn’t change my name to it. And reminding me of that of how you think I’m so… plain and ugly isn’t going to win any damn brownie points. You tried to cage me, Michael! However had it was for you… just remember you wanted to do that to me.”

                     “I called you my song bird because you have the most beautiful voice. It became nightingale because the nightingale has the most beautiful song. It was a translation. I hated hearing it as much as you did.” The matter of fact way she’s talking stinker a wrong chord deep within Bree’s core. “I just hated saying your name even more. Now I don’t.”

                   “What Do You Want, ‘Daughter of Darkness’?!”

                   “I want you to be fixed too.”

                   “Oh, Fuck you!”

                   “Amara can fix what’s wrong with you, Gabriel.” Michael reaches out a hand to pat her head. The heat singes her hair.

                   “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me is.. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me.” Bree slaps her sister’s hand away. “And how are you fixed? ‘You’re still the same self righteous, judgmental, know-it-all who made my life miserqable. What’s wrong with me is YOU!” She scoops up a handful of ice and throws it at him.

                    “You’re upset.”

                    “Yes, I’m upset! I’m upset and angry ! I have lived in fear of you since the first Day.  Fear of your disapproval and disappointment and anger and censure and… and… and even if you don’t hate me anymore I don’t fucking care. I still HATE YOU!”

                     “You don’t have to, Bree.”

                     “Don’t call me that either! That is not for you to… Just… kill me or go away!”

                      “She can take it away. All that hurt and pain and bad feelings. She can make you what you should have been.”     

                      “Well, fuck her, too. You think Dad couldn’t have just changed us into whatever whenever? He could and he didn’t and he’s the one who made us in the first place. So what the hell gives her the right to do anything? Fuck her and fuck you too!” She punches her sister’s chest, which does absolutely nothing. It doesn’t even make her lose her temper. Which is oddly enough even more terrifying.      


	42. Labors of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helel doesn't like to share  
> Michael bring the nightingale in for repairs

     Mule sits in the hotel room trying to think of what to do. It’s too much to hope for that Helel will give up on finding a ‘suitable’ prostitute. What does that even mean? ‘Suitable’. And why is that taking so long? Is he conducting formal interviews? The minibar is looking better and better and that’s especially dangerous because he knows exactly how to order other things in a nice hotels like this, which he might do if his inhibitions lower enough. Sometimes he wishes these things could just be erased and he’d never have to think of them again. Of course trying to forget things is part of what caused the problem in the first place. That and the devil whispering in his ear.

      “Hey there, soldier.” A woman opens the door. “I hope you haven’t been waiting too long. That friend of yours is a trip.” she kicks off her heels and puts her purse on the chair. Mule just sighs and shakes his head. “Who the hell cares why someone’s a prostitute?”

        “I’m a recovering addict who’s last… relationship was probably the most destructive one anyone could possibly ever have. Helel’s just trying to protect me.”

         “Huh,” She looks at him. “C’mon, soldier, let’s see that pretty face.” The woman kneels down in front of him, and gently pries his hands away. “Hooo, wow, I\m surprised she doesn’t just try to take care of you herself. Or why either of you think you’d need to pay for it.” She gives him a lopsided smile. Mule just turns a revealing shade of red at the comments.

          “I don’t really know what she’s thinking.” He mutters.

          “You know, you don’t have to do anything.” She pats his leg. “She paid me plenty just for the interview. So… unless you want to do something extra freaky. I’m good, money wise.”

           “I don’t want to do this.” He confesses.

           “Yeah, she seems kind of overbearing. It’s okay, soldier. We’re on your schedule.” She gets back up smoothing out her skirt. “Mind if lay down? It’s been a long day.”

           “No, go right ahead.” Mule motions behind him.

           “I’m Jezzy, by the way. Short for Jezabel.” She winks and lies down. “ You know, though, apparently Jezebel wasn’t actually a whore or even a bad person. She was a queen, foreign in a strange land with a strange religion and the temples and stuff she was built was just what each kingdom did for their foreign born royalty with different religions. She was a scapegoat and they used the usually method of disgracing her by reducing her to her sexuality and calling her a whore. Even Cleopatra got that treatment. She wasn’t even that pretty, just smart, charming, politically saavy,  a brilliant leader and she got reduced to a pretty little seductress caught in a love triangle with two powerful men.”

           “I did know that, actually.” Mule smile. “All of it.”

           “I didn’t when I took my street name. I looked it up. But you are.. Samuel?”

           “Mule.”

           “Well, Mule, take a load off.” She pats the bed beside her and rests her hands on her stomach. “So, where’d you serve?”

           “I say lest of all, but all over before that.”

           “Army, navy, air force?”

           “Marines. Special ops. They’re calling us Raiders now. I hear. Talking about the war’s not exactly a good way to get me in the mood.”         

            “Never is. Just curious. I don’t see any tattoos. Or are they in less conspicuous places?”

            “I need to have a bunch on my back. A local flower from every place I visited, but it was torn up pretty bad and while It’s fine now, there’s not really anything left.” Mule looks at her, but doesn’t lie down. She’s fairly conspicuous in that she’s nothing like Bree physically, Skin dark as night, brown almond eyes, thick straightened black hair, tall, slender.

            “That Suck. My brother had stories for all of his. He died in Afghanistan. Private security company. He mouthed off to a superior officer in the army and decided if he was going to defend our county under the command of underqualified idiots sending people to this deaths, he was going to get paid for it decently.”

            “I know a few people who felt that way. I joined because my father was a marine.”

            “Family business, huh?” She smiles. “Same here, though. Mom was a ‘masseuse’. Stationary. I like to travel. I can still give a mean massage though. Your girl mentioned something about tension. If you’re not up to anything else, I could work a few knots out of these shoulders at least.

             “I.. um…” Mule rubs his neck.

             “C’mon. Let me at least pretend I’m earning my commission.” Jezzy winks and sits up. “Don’t even have to take anything off if you don’t want too. Though if you had a tank top….” She cracks her knuckles.

              “I do.” Mule takes his shirt off, revealing the tank top.

              “Hold on. I’m guessing you prefer… floral scents?”

              “Doesn’t matter.”

              “So, your friend, is she in a relationship or gay or…”

              “She’s an angel.”

              “Not really an answer but maybe enough of one. So, you like her, huh?” Jezzy starts to rub his shoulders.  The question makes him tense up even more. “Ah, even if I didn’t see that blush earlier this new tension would be answer enough. So Romeo, why is she buying you a prostitute instead of loving you herself? Does she think you’re not interested? See you as a brother? Cousin?”

               “No. Our… being interesting is the problem. She wants me to just get it out of my system with… this, so we can go back to how things were before we had this attraction.” He confesses as she works the knots out of this neck and shoulders and back.

               “Oh so she’s in denial. Look soldier, you’re going to leave to take the lead on this one. Tell her how you feel. Use the L word if it’s true, make her face it.” She suggests nudging him. “You know you can’t go backwards from this. Once it’s out there, it’s out there.”

               “I know, but…”

               “Look, soldier. Doing nothing doesn’t do anything. You have to either confront this or walk away completely, that’s the only way to fix anything, even if it doesn’t end how you want. You both deserve honesty. Don’t know? Doesn’t she?”

               “So you don’t think having sex with you will help things with her, either.” Mule smiles. Jezzy shakes her head.

               “No, well, it might make her jealous enough to admit her feelings. Or it might just help you relax a little, take the stress away, let you think.” She smiles and strokes his cheek. “Either way…”

                “It’s… it’s been a while…”

                “Relax, soldier.  I’ve got mine. The rest of the night is all about you.” Jezzy kisses him. Oddly enough he feels fairly relaxed. Relaxed enough to enjoy each kiss and the gentle caress of her hands. It’s been a long time, but just the warmth and closeness of another human being, the scent of perfume. The feel of smooth skin, it touches something. inside that’s been starved for so long he doesn’t want to let go even to get further undressed. But when he closes his eyes it’s Helel’s face he sees. His ice blue eyes he feels himself drowning in, and Helel’s name that crosses his lips when she presses herself firmly against him.

               “Alright. That’s enough!” Jezzy is pulled off Mule’s lap by an irate looking Helel. ‘You’re services are no longer needed!” He plops her in the chair over her purse.

               “Wh…” Jezzy tries to process the immense strength of the young woman who just lifted her by the waist with what feels like hands of pure ice.

               “Goodbye!” Helel snaps his finger making the woman and her thing vanish.

               “What…. Where is she? Did... did you just... kill her?”

               “No, she’s in Tahiti! “Helel sounds offended. “I’m not my sister for dad’s sake. She’s fine. Just far away from you.”

               “This was your idea, Helel! You can’t banish someone to the ends of the earth for trying to do what you paid them to do!”

                “I didn’t banish her to the ends of the earth. I sent her to a house in Tahiti where she has good belongings and a nice sum of money waiting for her. Just like I always intended to put her if you two went through with it.”

                “What?” Mule just stares at the angel.

                “I know you needed it and I thought I could handle someone else with their hands all over MY Mule, but that doesn’t mean she has to be around after wards.”

                “What?!”

                “I don’t like to share!”

                “Have you lost your mind?!”

                “YES! That’s the problem!” Helel covers his face with his hands.  “That had better be tears you’re not quite repressing, little boy.” He glares through his fingers at Mule’s shaking shoulders.

                “I’m sorry.” the laughter breaks out.

                “You think this is funny?”

                “Yes.”

                “This is your fault, you know. Why do you have to be so damn attractive? THIS ISN’T FUNNY! I don’t need this right now. The darkness is loose, my sister banished me from my home,my other sister tried to kill me, my brother may not be the complete and utter waste of intent I always thought he was and I don’t know how to deal with any of that yet and now the most important human being in all of creation is... just… confusing me and I want my Mule back, the way things were when I was inside you,because I really need you right now and I was not prepared for this.” He grabs his hair with his hands and just stands there. “I really hate you right now.”

                “I’m sorry. You’re feelings aren’t funny. Just… this situation.” Mule composes himself. “I love you, too, Helel. I wasn’t really prepared for this either. I wish I knew what to do, but what I want to do is the one thing I know I shouldn’t.”

                “No, no I’m sorry. I’m handling this badly.”

                “I think we both are.” Mule wants to get up and comfort his angel, but standing isn’t the best idea at the moment.

                “No, but if I’m making it harder for you to stay clean…  I should just go. You.. just… stay with Claire and the twins, okay? Help protect the children. I’ll just keep away…” Mule gets to his feet and kisses his angel before he can complete that statement.

                 “I meant the second thing I know I shouldn’t do.” Mule closes his eyes resting his forehead against his angel’s. “I know it’s selfish, but please don’t make me be without you. Especially if the world is going to end.”

                 “Okay.” Helel takes a breath. “Okay.” He looks up putting a hand to Mule’s cheek. “I love you Samuel Winchester. I don’t want to be without you either.” When their lips meet again, neither of them can bring themselves to stop.

 

                  Bree’s not sure what’s worse, the fact that she’s being hauled back to her own realm like a kitten in it’s mother’s jaws, that the best thing about her existence had abandoned her for a fucking bridge game with the assholes from the other thread, or that her big brother is currently screwing her ex-lover/possession’s brains out at that very moment. When she etched that particular spell into his spare rib that would let her know his next lovers so she could torture and murder them for touching her property, she did not anticipate this. At all. Quite frankly she’s not exactly sure how it’s even possible.

                “Oh, my Pashoresa, you brought me dessert.” Amara teases, now in the body of a grown woman, fattened on the souls of Sheol. She walks over giving Michael a kiss on the cheek.

                “No. I have brought her to you to be fixed. As badly as our father blundered in my creation he erred even more with hers.” Michael looks down at the little sister she’s holding slightly aloft by the back of her shirt.

                “I repeat. Fuck you.”

                “Fix? But I thought you hated this one.” Amara looks at her other niece. “I assumed if you brought her to me at all it would be to be devoured and erased from existence.”

                 “No. she is an unrelenting whirlwind of chaos and destruction, but it’s not her fault. They are not to blame for how our father made them, after all. You can make them all better just as you’ve made me.”

                  “Oh, please!” Bree crosses her arms, and looks away. “If I’m not chaotic and destructive, what am I? Nothing. Don’t give me a lobotomy and call it a ‘fix’. You’re one to talk about chaos and destruction. Look what you’re doing to my home! Do you know how long it took Raphael to get it in some sort of working order? What’s wrong with you? Talking about fixing things. If you’re a flawed creation of a flared god how do you expect to make anything better? Especially under the guidance of the loser of the celestial battle for creation?” The first holding her grows not enough to singe her wings, which is more than hot enough to bury through her shirt. She drops to the ground. “My home and now my shirt you… flaming bitch!” Bree tries to get up but she’s slammed back flat on the ground by her sister’s foot on her back.

                 “Are you certain you don’t just want me to destroy her, my dearest? I can make you a new sister.” Amara bends over to examine the angel hold down to the ashes and rubble. “She doesn’t really seem open to it.”

                 “What she wants doesn’t matter. She must be fixed.” Michael shakes his head. “She’ll be grateful once she has been.”

                 “Not necessarily. I’d rather not improve her only to make her a better enemy.” Amara smooths out Bree’s curls a little. “You should show us a little more respect, little angel.” She grabs a fistful of hair. “How can you speak this way to those who can destroy you without difficulty? Have you no fear of Death?”

                  “Of course I’m afraid!” Bree’s voice wavers just a little. “But that’s nothing new. I’m afraid of Michael. I’m afraid of you. Death is nice enough, but I’m not ready to be cast into the empty just yet. I have plenty of fear, but what does that have to do with respect? You want my respect, you fucking earn it!” In response Amara places a hand on her cheek in a caressing gesture and sends a deep stabbing pain shooting through her, so intense it removes all light from her vision, even her own. When Bree’s gasping for breath, unable to  even scream, Amara stops.

                 “Well, my little nightingale, is that something worth respecting?” She taps Bree’s nose.

                 “No.” Bree gasps. “But do it a few more times and I’ll definitely lie about that. A few dozen more and I’ll probably start to believe it, but it’ll still just be fear and you’ll still just be the asshole who ruined my life because she couldn’t stop breaking her little brother’s things!” Amara frowns and lets go of her hair, slamming her face into the ground.

                 “This is what you want to keep around? I’m surprised you hadn’t murdered her Days ago.” She stands up.

                 “I was being a good son. As good a son as I could be.” Michael clenches his fitst as the pain starts to well up again.

                 “Shhh,” Amara puts a hand to Michael’s chest, adding more layers to the binding around her heart. “You were a good son. But you had an indifferent father who didn’t deserve you. But you’re my daughter now, and I appreciate you. I understand you. I love you. Come I’ll give you some more strength. Put her away for now and think about what you’d like me to change.”

                 “Actually. “Michael considers. “I’m not the one she should be changed to please. I’m not the one she defiled and degraded, and brought nothing but banishment and ruin with her thoughtless, selfish behavior.” The broken walls of sheol are all merged tightly together into a large box with no top. Wards and sigils slowly etch themselves into the sides. “I will bring Raphael to you and he will decide what must be done to her.”

                 “What? No. You stay away from him!” Bree pushes herself up as best she can managing somehow to throw Michael off balance at least enough for her to roll out from under her. “Raphael! Run! Hide! They’re coming for you!” She calls out to her husband with everything she has, but Michael takes her by the throat and flies up  over the box, casting her down. This time Raphael’s not there to break her fall and the force she’s thrown with shatters her already pinioned wings when they hit the edge of the small box as do her left leg and arm. She crumples into a ball as she tumbles inside. The roof forms above her but she’s in too much pain to even think of flying out.

                  “Please! Please, no!” She starts to feel suffocated as the only light left in the darkness of the small space in her own grace trapped inside the broken vessel. “Please.. Miqa PLEASE!” Even if she could move, she can’t even stretch out. All she can do is scream and scream until her voice gives out. There’s no sound, no light, nothing but walls and herself. Walls she can’t break and company she can’t stand above all else.

                  What’s worse is that out there is Raphael, somewhere and they want him. They want to take him and break him and change him like the darkness changed Michael. Which is stupid not only because they didn’t even fix a damn thing about Michael but there is nothing in Raphael that needs changing!  This is all her fault. Why did she undo the mark? Why did she let his terribleness out into the world where her husband was? Why didn’t she just bring him over to her and have him take her pain away. He’s done it before, he’s easily have done it again. How could she ever have thought….

                Michael is right. She defiled and degraded him. She cost him his home, his position, and his big sister’s love and protection. She made him an outcast everywhere. Fugitive from heaven, shunned by man, and too righteous and pure for their brothers in sheol. And not he’ll be taken and turned into an empty shell of himself just like Michael, all because of her, and there’s nothing she can do.

               “Father…” Bree whispers into the shadows. “Elo… lo.. I’m sorry. Please, please help us. Please help him. It’s all my fault, I know, and you don’t have to save, but please… you have to help Raphael. You have to protect him or save him. You have to. You have to. All he ever did was try to keep me in one peice. That’s all. He tried to… tomake me be good.. he did. He… gave up everything to help me bear a burden I couldn’t handle and was my own fault for taking and he did so well, you know he did. I mean… I mean look at what happened when I lost him for less than a week. I broke into peices. I did. Please help him, please, please, daddy. I’ll do anything, give anything, just… just don’t let anything happen to my Raphi. I can’t go through that again.”

                The pain and terror starts to ebb away into darkness and her wings fold around her, comfortable and warm. Before her awareness fades completely she feels a sensation on her cheek like a kiss, and calming presence she hasn’t felt in Days.


	43. Family Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The winchesters and angels gather with a much welcome addition

      “What’s going on!” The sheriff runs into the bar as the archangels manage to pin down Raphael.

     “You can’t go, Raph!” Gabriel knocks on his back. “If she’s still alive either they’re not going to kill her or they’re not going to kill her until they have what they want and if she’s warning you to stay away, that’s you.”

      “You have to be smart about this, Raphael.’ Michael chides his little brother’s counterpart.

      “You know we lose all reason when it comes to those we love.” ‘April’ holds her wrists down. “If you go off half cocked you could just get Bree killed.”

      “What?” The sheriff put his hands on her hips. “Are you kidding? Let the devil’s consort go. That bitch destroyed my brother, why do any of you care what happens to her or her enabler?” 

      “Excuse me?” Dean straightens up in his seat, no longer poking the disgruntled hen in the cage with a swizzle stick. “Your brother is alive, healthy, and a freaking war hero. Just how exactly did she destroy him?”

       “Dean…” Sam covers his eyes.

       “No, look, from what I’ve seen he’s given them a bit of attitude but as I recall, the last time you were that hostile to me, you can bet your sweet ass I deserved it.” 

       “Wow, Dean-o, good job finally admitting what a complete and utter unreasonable punitive asshole you were.” Gabriel gives him a thumbs up. Dean just flips her off.

       “Why don’t you shove it, evil twin? You don’t know a damn thing about what he put this family through. He was a broken thieving drug addicted reprobate who sold his soul to the devil. Forgive me if I don’t care about the welfare of the one who did it to him or her husband.”

       “Was.” Sam grabs his brother’s arm, keeping him from standing up as Dean has had it with the Sheriff. Nobody talks about his brother that way, not even himself, even if it’s only about an alternate Sam from a different reality. Especially one who clearly fucked up way less than his own.

        “What?” The Sheriff frowns.

        “You said ‘was’. So he’s not now. So he wasn’t destroyed, just broken. And you know I bet you anything that hearing you talk about him like that, treating him like he’s still a broken, untrustworthy mess, hurts worse than anything she ever did.” 

        “I’m sorry.” Dean says quietly. “If I haven’t said it yet.” Sam just pats his arm.

        “We’re good, Dean. Really.”

        “They’re not as close as you two are.” Mary takes a bottle from the shelf nad pops the cork.

         “Well, of course we’re not close now.” The sheriff protests.

         “On, Dean-Bean. You were never that close. These boys… you can tell just by watching them that they’d tear apart existence for each other.”

          “And have.” Gabriel comments. Mary ignores her.

          “Sam spent all his childhood chasing after you, and when you just kept getting farther and farther away, he started chasing after his father and I let him. I let him do it and didn’t notice he was struggling under the weight of you both. I never let him know he was enough as he was, that even though I saw more of me in you, and understood you better, it didn’t mean I didn’t love him. So she just dug into wounds I created Dean.” Mary drinks from the bottle much to her son’s surprise. “You need to ease up on him. We all do I suppose. Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’m going to go get drunk and wait for end of the world.” She lifts the bottle and heads to the door. “Sorry, short stuff, The Roadhouse is closed.” Mary stops in the doorway. “This is a private gathering, family only.

         “I know.” A familiar voice comes.

         “Dad!” Gabriel grins. “It’s about time. Hey thanks for not waiting until the worlds about to end to show up this time.”

         “Gabriel!” Michael snaps at her, letting go of the other Raphael’s legs.

         “See, I told you.” she cuffs the back of the other Raphael’s head. “Alright, let him up. Dad can talk some sense into him.” She gets up and heads over to her husband.

         “There is nothing he can say that I wish to hear.” Raphael gets slowly in his feet.

         “Your wife is alright.” Chuck says softly as he walks past Mary into the bar. “She’s healed and resting. She badly needs some rest.” Raphael just looks at him a moment.

         “Thank you.” Is all he says though his eyes show numerous recriminations grinding beneath the surface. Mary just pulls out a chair and sits down, taking another drink.

         “Raphael, my son.”Chuck smiles warmly at him. “I am so proud of you.”

         “I don’t care.” Raphael steps back. “You abandoned us. You abandoned Bree first and foremost and you let… I always knew you didn’t care for either of us the way you cared for Helel or even Michael. But don’t you dare try to… You’re my father and I love you but don’t you dare try to insult my intelligence by claiming I mean anything to you.” Raphael vanishes.

         “I’ll be back shortly.” ‘April’ touches Michael’s arm and follows his counterpart.

         “This is God?” The sheriff raises an eyebrow.

         “Welcome back.” Mary snaps. “Would have been nice if you came before your eldest lost all hope and reason, but who the fuck cares? Not you that’s for damn sure.” She finishes the bottle.

         “Mom!” Her son looks at her almost horrified.

         “It’s alright. She doesn’t realize what she’s saying.” Chuck holds his hand out.

         “The hell I don’t!” She slams the bottle on the bar. “You’re God. The creator of all, the father, Michael’s father. right?”

         “That’s correct.” He nods unconcerned, though the rest of them look fairly on edge not the least because the bottle shattered in her hand. Their eyes in fact are so riveted on the broken bottle in her left hand they didn’t notice her right until it’s slapped him across the face. There’s a collective gasp and Gabriel and Castiel quickly grab their Winchesters before they can place themselves in the path of their father’s wrath. The sheriff is more concerned with his mother’s.

         “You absolute bastard how could you abandon him that way? And I’m not talking about humanity or the angels or any of that bullshit, I’m talking about Michael! Your first child, the eldest created being, you had a responsibility to him. But you left and left him alone with your job, your burden, and no one to take care of him. Of all of creation Michael was the only being who did not have someone to… to love and nurture and care for him but you. He was mother to everything you made and you just… left her all alone to suffer and fail with nothing and nowhere to turn for help and he needs help and love and… and you can’t just… just….”

         “Mary.” Chuck says her name firmly. “No one is alone, unloved or uncared for. Just because they can’t recognize that, doesn’t make it’s not true. I will overlook your behavior this time, given it’s cause and your current uninhibited state, but don’t think I will allow a second outburst.” He takes the broken bottle from her hand as she goes to put her hands over her teary eyes. “I’m worried about Michael, too.”

         “I’m sorry.” Mary squeezes her eyes shut.

         “You’re forgiven. Where are my Shining Stars?” He looks to Michael.

         “Helel is with his vessel and Is Luci sleeping?” Gabriel looks back to Michael, tactfully discreet.

         “I brought him back to our thread of reality. He already fought beside you. It’s our turn now.”

          “Besides he’s still kind of on probation for causing a civil war in heaven and trying to destroy humanity and stuff.” Gabriel rubs the back of her neck. “He’s doing really well. I mean, he used to have the ethical maturity of a two year old. Now it’s more like seven eight? But, um, ….”

          “If we fail we need someone to work on closing the rift between threads to keep our children safe.”

           “Ash is working on that with Bobby. The Raphael’s offered up a few feathers to help. He’s fairly sure it has something to do with the base vibrations of the strings of existence or whatever.” Mary slumps down in her chair.

            “Mom, maybe...maybe you should go lie down a bit. Get your hand taken care of.” The sheriff puts a hand on her shoulder.

             “It’s fine.” She replies cooly.

             “Father.” Michael steps forwards, reaching an arm out to usher Gabriel forth with him. “Raphael can’t spare the energy to rejuvenate her wings. Would you please help her?” 

              “I can, but as her wings encompass half of her celestial form replacing them will require sacrifice.” Chuck says carefully. 

              “I understand.” Michael nods. “Take from me what you need.”

              “Miqa, don’t be silly. When it comes to a fight your strength is worth a lot more than my speed.” Gabriel shoves his arm.

               “With your speed I won’t need to use as much. Beside your death would be far more inconvenient.”

                “Aw, you sweet talker you.”Gabriel rests her head against his arm. Michael rolls his eyes and pats her head.

                “Okay, that’s even weirder than that Michael and you’re Helel being all kissy face.” The sheriff comments pointing to the two. Michael turns a little red at the comment.

                “Yeah, let’s not get into a ‘what the fuck is wrong with you people’ contest or we’ll be here forever.” Dean points at him in return. "Anyways. The trickster does need her wings, so if you need anything from me, a little soul power, whatever, feel free.” He reluctantly volunteers. Sam just smiles at his brother. 

                 “That’s my line.”

                 “No, you have a kid, you keep what you’ve got.”

                 “I think it would be better served if you took what you needed from me.” Castiel goes up next to his big sisters. “I would gladly be demoted if it would restore her.”

Michael gives the angel an irritated look at the suggestion. “I barely know how to use a fraction of what I have.”

                 “You’ve been doing really well, Cas. You don’t even want to know how long it took me to even just learn to fly.” Gabriel reassures him.

                 “Not long enough.” Michael comments dryly. 

                 “Regardless, Giving the alterations to my grace to Gabriel would provide her far more than I would lose.”

                  “I suppose I can’t argue with that.” Michael frowns at the angel, as Chuck gives Castiel an approving smile. “But if it’s not enough, I’m more than willing to give what you need.”

                  “Thanks, Cas, I’ll owe you one.”Gabriel nudges her little brother.

                  “I’ll consider myself repaid so long as you never turn me into a kitten again.”

                  “Sorry, I don’t make promises i can’t keep.” Gabriel shakes her head. Michael frowns at her.

                  “She will not turn you into a kitten again.”He says firmly.

                  “Fine. I’m not being ungrateful, Dad. “Gabriel turns to her father. “He’s just a really friggin cute kitten.” She snaps her fingers. “See?”

                  “Gabriel….” Michael covers his eyes with one hand, the other on his hip. She just holds up the pissed off little black kitten.

                  “Aww, he’s wearing a little tie.” Chuck smiles and takes the kitten, scratching behind his ears as he cuddles the kitten to his chest in a familiar manner.

                  “I literally just promised him, Gabriel…”

                  “What? It hasn’t happened yet. It’s the last time I’ll ever get my widdle kitty cas.” She coos at the blissfully purring kitten, then pauses. “Oh, yeah.” She laughs “Good point, Cas, though Raphael doesn’t so it nearly as much.” 

                   “He also doesn’t hand him over to Lucifer when he does it either.” Castiel says curtly.

                    “And that just sucks as it’s pretty much the only way Luce can let himself be nice to him.”

                    “Are you done playing, Gabriel? Would you like your wings back now?” Chuck chides her, though he shows no intention of letting the kitten go yet. Of course Castiel doesn’t seem to be as eager to escape his father’s grasp as he used to Luci’s.

                    “Hels yeah!”

                    “It’s done.” Chuck nods, and holds the now exhausted kitten to his chest. “ Gabriel I’ve limited this piece of myself to this thread of existence, so given the circumstances, I’ve never gotten to see my messenger, as she was meant to be. if you would test your wings..”

                     “Not in here, It’ll really screw with the electrical.” Gabriel heads outside. “Coming, Sampai? I need permission to use this one so this is the only chance you’ll have to see it most likely.” She peeks back in the door. They all get up and follow her out. “Alright. The group pardoning right? Oh, yeah, better to leave the demon chicken. He might be vaporized by the holiness of my visage.” She snaps the cage in Dean’s hand back inside and covers it with a black warded cloth.

                     “Could you give us a moment? Raphael didn’t get to see it either. We were both busy keeping the demons at bay.” Michael requests.

                     “Well, we do need to gather everyone regardless. Let’s have everyone in attendance for this.” The Raphaels suddenly appear, ‘April’ rubbing the back of the nightingale’s husband, comforting him, but more interestingly are the pain that appear in the back of the impala, undressed and in a very awkward position, Mule in a sitting with his back to the window Helel straddling his lap.

                      “Samuel Henry Winchester!” Mary exclaims as Gabriel starts to laugh. Helel’s just frozen in absolute mortification hiding her bare chest with Mule’s body.  His little brother cracks a smile at this when the Raphaels notice the situation. As Gabriel is busy laughing, and Michael is too annoyed with the situation to do anything, ‘April’ snaps up a few long loose robes up to cover the pair.

                       “Okay, now dad, that was a little mean, funny, but mean.” Gabriel comments. Chuck gives a conceding nod, though he still looks a little irritated. 

                       “We will discuss this later, young man.” Mary scolds Sam.

                       “Yes, Helel, we will discuss this later.” Chuck looks to his own child, breifly before going back to petting ‘Cat’stiel. “But for now we’re here to see Gabriel’s performance. Compose yourselves and take a seat.”

                       “Yes, father.” Helel regains his composure and moves so they can both get in a more dignified position. Mule however turns pale. Sam knows the feeling. Though he has to admit to himself that there is a slight difference between falling in love with and sleeping with someone he didn’t know was an angel and wasn’t an angel at the time, and taking the virginity of God’s favorite in full knowledge of the fact. 

                     “It’s okay, “Helel puts a hand to Mule’s cheek. “I’m the one in trouble, not you.”

                      “That’s what’s you think.” Mule gives a weak smile. “Could… could you….” He tugs at the sleeves of the robe.

                      “Of course,” Helel snaps them back into their clothing, in a much cleanlier state, and gets out of the far side of the car. Mule slowly follows. The sheriff just silently glares at his brother as they come around to the group. Helel frowns at the man and takes Mule’s hand, returning the glare with a protective warning look.

                       “Raphael.” Chuck turns to his other son, tucks the kitten in his pocket and makes the sleeping Bree appear in his arms. “I am entrusting her to you once more. Please continue to do such an admirable job.” He gently places her in his son’s arms.

                       “What?” Helel can’t help but show his surprise. “You’re… praising him?”

                       “Yes, because he did his best to love and protest not only her but all of humanity. Even if he didn’t always make all the right choices, he made most of them unselfishly and for the right reasons. I am very proud of my son and grateful for all he has done for my little song. If you have further questions, they can wait until after. i see my messenger in her intended role.” Chuck turns back to Gabriel who’s starting to feel not a little awkward.

                        “I’ve always been curious.” Sam says quietly resolving his wife’s unease at being placed in the middle of things.

                        “Alright. Should I do the whole things? Okay, I’ll need a Mary.”

                        “Are you kidding me?” Mary looks up at her. 

                        “I said ‘a’ Mary, not… well, you’ll do anyways. Kind of old though, ah, here we go.” She snaps her fingers making Mary a bit more appropriate for the role.

                        “You have got to be kidding me!” The fourteen year old young woman. “You did not impregnate a teeny bopper.”

                       “She was fifteen and close to marrying. It was exactly the age of most young women from good families.” Gabriel retorts. “And technically she impregnated herself. That happens sometimes. It was due to miscarry and he did obviously alter the gender and such, but even so it’s not as if he actually seduced her. It’s not his style.”

                      “Not God’s style…” The sheriff says slowly, not really sure what to think about all of this, not exactly sure that this is actually God himself.

                      “One upmanship.” ‘April’ says evenly.  “It was the era of Roman supremacy and most kings and preists claimed to be descended from a God. But while the pagan gods had fathered many hero’s none of them left the mother a virgin when doing so.” He explains. “It’s how it was in egypt, too. Why there were all those plagues.”

                       “Exactly.” Chuck smiles. “Gabriel?”

                      “Alright, alright. Here. Something period appropriate.’ She changes the jeans and jacket.

                      “Just get this over with.” She hisses.

                      “Excuse us.” Raphael carries his wife back into the Bar.

                       “Okay?” She looks to Chuck who nods and motions to her to continues, “Okay. Fricking family drama. Ruining my recital.”

                      “If you shut up and get on with I’ll give you a gigantic lolly pop.” ‘April’ snaps.

                      “Woohoo! Let’s do this!” She throws her arms up in the air and vanishes in a flash of light.


	44. Father knows Best

       “Hail Mary full of grace! The lord is with you!” A sound like the chiming of bells fills the air, oddly enough, understood by all present though clearly not being of any recognized speech.

       “What the hell?” Mary looks around as it’s not quite clear where the sound is coming from, except that it’s clearly the sweet voice of the nightingale and that’s enough to put her on her guard, even if she knows it’s not really the same angel.

       “Mom, I don’t really think that’s how the mother of god would react to his divine messenger.” The sheriff corrects her, as he can’t really help himself no matter how absurd it is. At least one of the participants should be treating the annunciation with the expected gravity.

       “Was that just a dirty joke? Did you seriously greet the virgin Mary with a dirty joke?” Dean exclaims at almost the same time. Gabriel just ignores him.

        “No, she totally did react that way.” Gabriel’s usual voice interrupts them both. “It’s fine, Mary, dear, just act naturally. And you two, zip it.” A piece of tape appears across each of the Dean’s mouths. Okay, and we’ll continue minus further comment from the peanut gallery.”

         “Fine just… whatever.” Mary crosses her arms. A soft golden glow starts to illuminate the yard from no apparent source.

         “Do not be afraid, Mary.” The sweet celestial sound resumes, and the light solidifies into six large golden wings, and a halo of golden curls around a cherubic face, with golden eyes not much different than her own. “For you have found favor with God.” She reaches out her hands much like one of barker’s beauties on the price is right, presenting Mary to herself.  The loose flowing white robes trimmed with gold are familiar, though the bright blue sash is all that distinguishes it from her wedding dress.  “You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Yeshua.He will be great and be called the son of the most high. The lord god will give him the throne of his forefather David and he will reign over Jacob’s decendants forever; his kingdom will never end.”

         “Joshua?” Mary frowns at the angel.

         “Oh, yes, much like Michael and Gabriel, his name got all sorts of mangled and mispronounced through the ages. History’s kind of a giant game of telephone.” Raphael informs them.

         “Oh, don’t even pretend that you weren’t the one behind my mispronunciations. “ Gabriel turns to her brother. “I know damn well you were getting me back for that whole Labbiel thing. I’d have been shocked you did something like that when you thought I was dead, but you did also steal my possessions so…”

          “That bed was not made just for you, it was just put in your room because there was nothing else in it and it was the only place it would fit at the time. “ Raphael retorts.

          “Then how was it able to… oh you ass, you stole part of my room too?”

          “I was wondering, Raphael, how come your name is the only one everyone pronounces right?” Mary asks before it can devolve into a quarrel.

          “Thanks to Helel and Gabriel’s little Labbiel prank, I was much less tolerant of errors in the official doctrine than they were.” Raphael shoots his sister a look. She just gives him a dimpled smile.

           “Raphael, that’s enough.” Michael shushes them. “Gabriel, please continue.”

           “I will, thank you.” She returns to her holy pose, and official voice. “The Holy spirit will come upon you and the power of the most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the son of god. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age,and she who was said to be unable to conceive is in her sixth month. For no word from God will ever fail.”

            “Fine,whatever, just keep in mind that I can’t give birth to a savior if I get stoned to death for getting pregnant out of wedlock.”

             “Mom!”

             “No, that’s still pretty accurate, actually. Joseph freaked the fuck out, you have no idea. Oh,he was a cool customer until the whole, delivering the baby of your God thing, but Okay, skip ahead! You can all be the shepherds. Mary, your baby.” Gabriel takes the kitten from her father, swaddles him in a handkerchief and hands it to Mary who can’t help but smile at the cute, annoyed little thing, and pet him a little.

              “Aww, wook at those big blue eyes. Who’s the cootest widdle kitty ever?”

              “Will you turn my damn boyfriend back? And don’t even…” Dean starts to demand but Gabriel snaps her fingers and makes them into shepherds in the traditional christmas pagent style of bathrobes, slippers or sandals, and towels tied to their heads with neckties.

              “I didn’t realize this was audience participation.” Raphael says cooly, though he doesn’t undo the absurd get up.  A quick pleading glance to Chuck seems to imply that he can’t. Mary still more than a little tipsy, starts to laugh at the sigh. Gabriel’s copied all the costumes from the various pictures from the boys christmas pageants throughout the years. The sight of her boys standing together as sullen, scowling shepherds in oversized bathrobes is one she never thought she’d see again.

 

              Bree appears so peaceful, he can’t help but look at her as he holds her in his arms. She’s even smiling slightly every now and then. Is she dreaming? They’re good dreams then. This is probably the kindest thing their father has done for her yet, the gift of sleep, a reprieve from the tortured chaos of her own mind. She seemed surprised that even without the mark she still hurt so much. But he wasn’t.

              Sometimes Raphael thought that more than causing injury, the darkness from the mark just keep them from healing.  No less deadly, but so much different to treat. Instead of taking something harmful away you have to give something beneficial. He never really knew what that was. All he could do was somehow heal the most superficial aspect of the wounds, but each time she was just more easily damaged. He knew that eventually he wouldn’t be able to keep up, not unless he found another way. So he tried everything,doing his best to love her no matter how he had to show it, within reason.

              But now, if they survive, maybe he has a chance to peice her back together and keep her put together. The kindness and generosity that were such a big part of his sister isn’t dead, he knows it. He can see it’s still inside her just watching her interact with Claire. Every time she tries to restrain herself on his behalf, even though it’s just little things, it means something.

             “Raphael?” She opens her eyes and throws her arms around his neck, holding onto him tightly. "They didn’t… I thought I was dying.”

             “No. Father gave you back to me.” he holds onto her tightly.

             “Oh for…. I asked him to save YOU. Keep you away from them. That.. that bitch wants you. She probably probably only even took me to better get you. “ There’s a surprising amount of bitterness to her voice, that’s a little confusing no matter who she’s referring to, Michael or Amara.  “I suppose I didn’t have to worry.”

             “I’m sorry. The other thread’s archangels forcibly restrained me to keep me from going to you. I would have otherwise, no matter how stupid a thing it was.” He kisses her forehead.

             “After I told you not to.” She scowls at him though she’s obviously more than a little pleased.              

             “Do I ever do what you tell me to do?” He counters. Bree goes to argue but stops.

             “Huh, now that I think of it I guess not. What I ask, beg, plead or hint, sure, you usually do, but no when I outright tell you to do it. I never really thought about it before. You rebel you.” She rests her head affectionately on his shoulder.

             “Yes, defying the commands of one who has no authority over you real or imagined, truly an audacious act.” He rests his head against hers. She laughs a little.

             “Well, I can’t argue that. So… Dad… saved me?”

             “Yes. He’s outside with the others having the other Gabriel show off for him. I wanted to have you to myself a little.”

             “Are you okay? He didn’t… Are you in a lot of trouble?” The question is low with not a little concern in it.

             “I don’t think so. He… thanked me for taking care of you and entrusted me with you again. In front of Helel.” Raphael smiles.  It’s incredibly petty but that made it a thousand times better.

             “So… Helel was there wearing Mule, huh?” She’s more than a little put out when her husband laughs.

             “Big brother is not going to have a very good day today.” Raphael tries not to look too happy as he knows she still loves her big brother a great deal, even if she doesn’t love him best as they both thought.

             But still to be told by his father that he did a better job at taking care of Bree than Helel did is beyond momentous.Especially as usually, if Helel isn't good at something it's because he deemed it unimportant and not worthy of his time or effort. But this,he knows Helel tried and cared for their little sister, it's one of the few things they had in common. One of the few things he liked and appreciated about his big brother. Of course it was also the reason he trusted him enough to let himself be captured. It was the most terrible mistake he's ever made.

            "Well, I suppose it's time to go face the music." Bree sighs, but doesn't move.

            "I'm not leaving your side again."

            "Not even to play cards with your new family with your new and improved little sister?" She asks testily.

            "I meant when you're vulnerable or afraid. Don't be a jealous brat. I needed some time to think and it probably won't be the last time I do. I actually like Raphael. We understand each other and he helps give me perspective. Helps me appreciate some things a little more."

            "Oh, well, I suppose I can't object to that. Maybe he'd be willing to play with the both of us next time." She grins, hopefully.

            "He has a lover and is as loyal and faithful to her as I am to you. It's never going to happen."

            "Awww. The only thing better than you, is two of you." She kisses his nose, like the sweet little pain in the butt she is. "Alright with you by my side I can do anything." She gets to her feet and takes hold of his hand. "Let's go see lolo." She reluctantly leads him to the door.

            "That is not what you said." The other Raphael corrects his little sister. "Don't forget, we all heard you."

            "Why are you such a little tattle tale?" The beautiful glowing androgynous version of Bree puts her hands on her hips. "Anyway, dad wanted to see how it was supposed to be, not how it was... Oh fine." She sighs and covers her eyes breifly, looking almost slightly embarassed, then vanishes. There's nothing but silence and darkness for an uncomfortably long time. \

           " _Don't be afraid_." She appears behind the sherrif, speaking right into his ear. He actually jumps slightly. They all turn around to face her, a few weapons drawn almost reflexively. "Good news everyone! You're salvation is at hand!" She throws her hands up in the air, spreading out her wings like a circle behind her. "Your savior has just been born. The arbiter of the lord your gods love and unlimited forgiveness is given. And you lucky sons of bitches are the first to know. Get your rears in gear and head to yon inn and he'll be in the guest room, lying in the food trough, wrapped snug as a bug in a rug. I'll give you some traveling music, now MOVE!" A burst of song loud enough to startle a pregnant cow into dropping her calf, makes them all step back, though it comes from everywhere at once. It doesn't last very long. "Don't worry, I'm not doing that part. It just doesn't sound right without the choir."

           "Okay, I'm calling bullshit." Dean takes his hands from his ears.

           "No, that's as close as you can get in english." Michael admits with a heavy exasperated sigh.

           "The aramaic is slightly more uncouth." The other Raphael informs them.

           "I was young and over-excited!" Gabriel defends himself. "Of course, Dad wouldn't let me go back and redo it so I just made sure the officially recorded version was a little more dignified."

           "This sort of thing is exactly why you were told to deliver messages as given, Gabriel." Her brother scolds her.

           "Well, dad said I just had to get the key points in. I.." She stops talking as she notices Bree looking at her resentfully. They all look to the fallen angel, most of them unconcerned, not a few of them understandably hostile.

           "Gabriel." Chuck greets her, nodding her forwards.

           "Hi, dad." She slowly walks over, pulling her husband behind her.

           "How are you feeling?" He asks her gently.

           "Okay, I guess. Thanks." she looks down at the ground. "I'm sorry."

            "Are you?"  

            "Well, not really, not for most of it." She admits, "I did some stupid things I wished I hadn't, though, so I'm sorry for those things."

            "Will you fight against the darkness with us?"

            "I don't know." She shrugs uncomfortably. "If Raphael does I will, I guess, so he doesn't get hurt or anything, but... I don't know."

            "We will."

            "Can I talk to my little song alone?" Chuck asks, the group.

            "Come on." Michael ushers them all back into the bar. Mary stands up and stumbles after them, intent on demanding her adult body back.

            "I promised I would stay with her." Raphael informs their father. Chuck nods and steps closer to his wayward daughter.

            "I'm sorry as well, Gabriel. This was not what I intended for you." He brushes some of her hair back out of her face. She just turns her face away.

            "It's fine. It's my own fault. I just wish you'd lighten up a little. I mean, it doesn't matter what I do to humanity, they heal or they die and there are always more in case they die. Besides if they deserve it they go to heaven, if not what do you care? You turn your back on them anyway. Besides what's so great about human life anyways? You have so many rules and things they can't do but you don't want them to do all the fun stuff or eat the good food and.. I don't know. I do like them you know. For the most part. And I don't want Aunty to destroy everything I just... I kind of think that since I was the one keeping them from being all destroyed it's not unreasonable for me to want to be able to play with them." Bree leans back into her brother, still not able to look her father in the eye.

            "Please don't give up on her." Raphael puts his arms around her, holding her tightly. "I'll do everything I can to help her be a better angel. She's hurting and in pain and I just know that i can take that away now."

            "You can't heal someone who's unwilling to be healed, Raphael. Not with this sort of damage. But I put her in your care. You may take what measures you deem fit. But remember that what must be done is not always what's pleasant to do or have done to you. She may end up hating you, but she cannot be allowed to cause further harm to you or humanity. I am not facing the darkness just to let my children destroy themselves after I'm gone again." Chuck looks at them both sternly.

            "I understand." Raphael nods, though he feels almost dejected.

            "I don't want us to destroy ourselves either." the little smart ass has to add solemnly.

            "Despite what you both think, I do love you greatly. You're my children and nothing you do can ever change that."

            "Sure. Fine." Bree rolls her eyes, "Is there anything else."

            "At the moment, no." Chuck shakes his head, looking fairly disappointed. "You may go. I must speak with Helel."

            "I'll send him out." Raphaels miles and leads Bree inside. "Brother, our father wishes to speak to you." He informs Helel who's sitting with Mule in the corner. Raphael calling him brother with that smug smile worries him immensely.

           "Do you want me to go with you?"Mule asks. Helel shakes his head and gives him a hug.

           "I love you Samuel," He casually ruffles his lovers short cropped hair.

           "I love you too."

           "I really don't think you have too much to worry about." the other Raphael, for some godforsaken reason decides to reassure Helel. The other Michael doesn't, and seems fairly irritated with the whole situation. In truth, it bother's Michael a lot more than he feels is appropriate or rational so he's just ignoring his brother's counterpart fraternizing with a winchester.

           "Yeah, you haven't done anything nearly as bad as what Luci did and he was still dad's favorite so..." The other Gabriel gives him a thumbs up.

           "Thank you." Helel nods giving the other Raphael an uncomfortable look, before glancing over to his own younger siblings with an expression Raphael can't quite process. It's not a look his brother's ever turned his way before. It's almost... sad, regretful. Raphael just turns away and sits in a booth, his wife in his lap, not saying a word, though he can see in the mirror that she bears a similar expression herself as she watches their brother walk out the door.

 

           Helel walks over to where his father is standing, his head bowed low in shame. Chuck doesn't say anything, he just stands there and waits for Helel to break the silence. Something Michael does that he absolutely hates.

            "I know you know what I've done." He keeps looking at the ground.

            "I do. I know everything you've ever done." Chuck confirms. "The question is do you know what you've done? And why I might be displeased with it."

            "I.. engaged in illicit acts that are frowned upon with my vessel. I... betrayed Michael by going behind his back to try and convince Bree to give me the mark, I..." he looks up at his father hoping that's enough. His father just looks right back at him, not angry, not judging, just a little expectantly as if Helel isn't quite where he wants him to go.

            "I have never loved Raphael as you commanded." Helel confesses. "I have never treated him with anything but contempt. Ad he didn't.. he doesn't deserve that. I tortured him and even strongly considered murdering him to drive Gabriel to desperation so she'd give the mark to me. And because I tried to sacrifice him to the cage in her stead, Michael ended up inside, making it all my fault. I did my best in everything else, but I never even tried to be a good brother to him, to see his creation as anything but a.. a reproach against my existence, a burden, or waste of intent. I actively refused." Helel closes his eyes. "Because I always knew he was better than me. That's why you made him, because I wasn't enough. Why else would you have?"

             "My shining star," Chuck sighs, "You were all made to complement each other, not to compete. Or to replace. I tried so many times to tell you this but you just couldn't see." He reaches out to take his son's hand, clasping it in both of his. "I am angry and heartbroken at your behavior, but I am also proud of you for everything you've done well and now, for admitting and facing this shameful truth."

             "I'm sorry. I drove you away and..."

             "No, Helel. Our argument was just bad timing. I was always going to leave. You know that I was entrusting things to the four of you. I'd been giving you more and more responsibilities nurturing and guiding humanity to that critical point. And look how earth has bloomed under your care."

              "It bloomed just the same under Michael and Raphael's care, and with slightly over half the angels."Helel says quietly. "I didn't matter at all. I kept making myself hold on, telling myself that I did. That I had to do it, that I had to fix it, I had to save Michael. That I had to save everyone i could, and the world was no better or worse off than the reality where I tried my best to destroy it. Why did you make me so pointless and empty?" 

              "Oh my son." Chuck embraces the tearful angel.

              "I missed you so much. I was so lonely and.. I'm sorry, please don't leave us again." He holds onto his father as tightly as he can.

             "I may have no choice, but please just know that I love you, and wish your happiness and well being.  However, it's not something I can give to you. You have to find it yourself. But I charge you with this, my son, now that you realize the wrongs you have done your brother, you must do your best to correct them." Chuck lifts Helel's face up slightly to look at his.

             "I don't want to. And you know he won't want me to either," Helel confesses, "Can't I just let him hate me? And simply stop behaving badly?"

             "No, Helel, what's more I charge you to remember that your brother has an even more difficult task ahead of him. One that will take all of his strength and courage and you must be patient for as long as it takes him to do it, not pushing or demanding it of him no matter how impatient you get or how much you want it."

             "You mean, making my favorite song the angel she once was?"

             "No, forgiving you."


	45. Luci in Lilliput

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci wakes in the abyss and is not happy.

            When Luci opens his eyes he’s surrounded by a large pile of very distressed fledglings with several faces very close to his own. Examining him as closely as they can without touching him. He has maybe an inch of space around any part of himself.

            “Are you in pain?” The elected spoke angel, Malachai asks. It’s so strange seeing him in human colors and shades and solidly defined, also human sized. Toddlers sized actually as he was a very young angel when he fell into the ocean and was devoured by leviathan. The first lost angel, the first to greet him. Luci can’t help but reach out to touch his face. The little angel freezes, his feathers fluffing at the affection. He feels like almost nothing beneath Luci’s hand, maybe a coolness, but he can’t feel his frequency or hear his song. It’s as if his wavelength has been translated to a kind of solid paint. Compressed maybe? But he knows this little angel. He cried an ocean of tears for this angel.

          “I can’t hear you.” Luci feels oddly like he want’s to cry again. It’s better he can’t as the sound would kill him as he is now, but it’s a loss he hadn’t fully realized before.

          “We can’t hear you either.” Fortunately this bright, curious angel knows exactly what he means, that their frequencies are closed to each other now. “Oh, big brother, what happened to you?” They all look close to tears. 

          “I did some very bad things and hurt people with my grace so they took it away until I learn how to behave myself properly.” He reaches back to feel the little lime green wings. It’s like caressing the softest down. 

           “But you’re so good.” Someone else says as Malachai is just overcome by the attention of who he still believes is heaven’s most beloved. “You never do anything bad, just good, nice things to everybody.”

           “That’s not true. I was very bad to Raphael, from the very beginning. And I just…forgot how to be good and why. I’m remembering why, I just have to work on the how right now. It’s harder than I thought.” He sighs, then adds, when he sees the concern still on their faces. “I’m not in pain. I’m just… human.”

           “Being human is painful though. Even bumping into things hurts them, and anything can tear or break or corrupt their bodies.” One of the sweeter healers, an Ariel, starts to almost panic at the thought.

           “Some times, but not always. There are pleasant things about it. Eating and sleeping and dreaming and touching things. It’s like hearing, but you have to be right up close, with part of you on part of them.” Luci puts his hand on Malachai’s cheek. The angel just sighs and closes his eyes, trying to wrap himself up in wings too small to do so yet. 

           “Oh! If Helel is human now that means we have to take care of him!” Someone in back shouts.

           “Helel is a girl now, Tariel. Don’t you see see the udders?”

           “They’re called breasts, Zekiel. And Harahel said that doesn’t matter when it comes to pronouns. People get to decide that on their own.” Tariel retorts a brilliant red edged and highlighted with peacock blue, such a fitting color for such a vibrant reckless angel.

            “Do you want to be called a girl or a boy?” Another asks though he can’t see which one. “They call start chattering at once.

            “Shhh…” Luci puts a finger to his lips, speaking quietly. “I can’t understand you when you talk all at once anymore. You’ll have to speak one at a time.”

             “I don’t think we can teach him how to be good again, though.” One says thoughtfully, not really hearing what was going on. That must be Japeth. He always was a beat out of step with the others. “We made mistakes and behaved badly, too. That’s why we died. Because we didn’t listen and fell down.”

              “Well, we can tell him how he was good so he can start to remember how to do it.” That seems to be a generally accepted idea so they turn away collecting into another small group, whispering to each other. with just a pile of legs backsides and wings poking out of the mound. He doesn’t remember them being this adorable.

              It’s amazing how the younger ones tend to do a puppy pile for almost everything. Half the reports of angels with a hundred wings or multiple faces or several heads were because of teams of angels in the beginning who didn’t understand that humans couldn’t be so close that their songs blended together at the edges and reality wharped to temporarily allow the fusions. Of course that always ended up bringing Raphael down to properly separate them afterwards. 

             Luci looks around the area. There are a bunch of nests and a small bed where  Alex is sleeping with Abigail at the side of her bed, and shelly is napping curled up next to Abigail’s basisnet. The sky is still an empty black and white lava lamp stretching above them.  Courage is sleeping at their feet. Of course. Michael would pull this controlling overprotective bullshit that… asshole. She probably told their brothers not to let him back through the tear, too. Pain the ass… Granted if he can’t get past a few angels he has no business fighting the darkness. Of course if he can’t do it without killing, maiming or convincing them to disobey their orders, they’ll probably use that as proof that he has nto business having his grace back, either.

              “Okay.” Malachai’s composed himself now. “We will take turns. I will go first. When I flew into the wall when I was learning to fly and tore your robe, you didn’t yell at me, you asked me if I was hurt and held me and brought me to Raphael when I couldn’t stop crying. You even let me try to fix your robe.”

              “I remember that you used to sing very loud in the throne room with Gabriel so we can hear two two in the garden and it was nice because we didn’t get to see you very much.”

             “You never yelled at Gabriel either unless she got hurt or almost got hurt which was good because Miqa was always scolding her and it made her sad and you made her happy again and we love Gabriel because she played with us the most and we don’t want her to be sad.” That one is definitely Paschar. He never understood the concept of separate sentences.

              “You scolded her too when she made me cry with that joke that was all loud and unpleasant and made her apologize to me. Which was good because she was your favorite but you still didn’t let her upset us too much, so we knew you loved us, too.” The way they can say that, though, that she was his favorite and have it be so nonchalant. 

              “It didn’t upset you that I liked her best?” Luci asks wondering. They all shake thier heads.

              “No. Everybody has somebody special that they have the most fun with and someone they work the best with and someone who knew them best sometimes that’s all in the same angel and so you’re really lucky.If you’re extra specially lucky you find somebody that makes things better just by being around you like you and Miqa. Or Raphael and Alex.”

              “Oh! and Castiel and his Dean. And Gabriel and her Sam which is really your Sam which is another good thing because you let her have him even though he was made for you to use because they liked each other best. That was so very good.” The observation just makes Luci’s eye twitch slightly. Better not to get into that with the babies. “Well,” the angel falters, observing him, “At least you forgave her for taking him if you didn’t exactly let her. But you have Miqa and Gabriel didn’t really have anybody like that. And everybody loves you anyways.”

               “That’s very true.” Luci forces himself to say sweetly. “And they made my little song so I can’t be too angry.”

               “Ooo! Ooo! Hara and Krissy!” Japeth again waving his hand in the air, and fluttering his wings trying to hop up into sight. 

               “That’s right.” Malachai pounces on the return to the previous subject. “We each might have somebody like that too some day. So we don’t need to be jealous.” they look over to Raziel who’d huggin Tamiel, the both of them cheek to cheek like a little precious moments painting. “We just need to find our own.”

               “Oh! You taught us to read and write and even me and I took a very long time and you never got mad at me like Raphael does when I can’t do things after being shown over and over again, even if it is just because I have a hard time paying attention.” Luci can’t take any more of this. He’s doing everything he can to be honest and can’t let them keep believing pretty lies this way.

               “I’m sorry to have to disappoint you all.” Luci sighs. “But none of any of that was me being good. I brought Malachai to Raphael because I didn’t want to deal with him crying and had him fix my robe because I was annoyed he tore it. That he wanted to do it didn’t matter.  I sang loud with Gabriel because I loved to sing with her, but also to irritate Raphael because I knew it distracted you while he was teaching. I didn’t think or care about anyone’s enjoyment besides my own and Gabriel’s. As for Gabriel I should have scolded her more but Michael did so much already, I purposely didn’t so my favorite song would like me best.  I coddled her like he coddled Raphael partly because I loved her but partly out of spite. 

               “There was nothing good about anything I did in regards to my vessel. I don’t want to talk about it but I can only even partially stand it because of Shelly. Not because I love him but because I hate him and he hates me. So I repeat, there was nothing good about anything I did in regards to my vessel. As for teaching you, I absolutely did get angry and impatient with you. I always feel impatient if people don’t do things as well or as quickly as I can. The only reason I didn’t yell at you or show I was angry was because it wouldn’t have made you learn any faster. It honestly would have just made you take longer and be harder to teach you later. You see I was never good. I was just selfish and thought only of myself and what was easiest or most pleasant for me.”

               “Oh.” They all look so disappointed, but better they don’t have any illusions about them, and even better that he be the one to let them down. Their brothers only have worse to tell them. Malachai looks a little angry.

                “Well… well you didn’t have to snuggle me to your chest and tell me it was okay and stroke my wings as you took me if you just didn’t want to deal with me crying.| Malachai scowls. “You could have just made me silent like Raphael did to Gabriel sometimes when she was too loud too long, and not be kind to me. And I wanted to fix it because I felt bad for breaking it and having someone fix something they broke isn’t bad at all!

                “And… and you still didn’t let Gabriel play pranks that were too mean or dangerous or you knew would upset us too much.  We we still all like to hear you singing it made us happy. Even if you didn’t mean them to be good, they were all still good things. And you loved singing with Gabriel. And you sang to Miqa to let her know you loved her and you missed her. And you sang to Raphael for the same reason, we all heard you.Anyways if it was to make him angry it didn’t work. He was only angry because we didn’t pay attention to him when we should have. Raphael liked hearing you sing, too, you know. He said so, and to just pay attention.”

               “He also said not to tell Helel!” Another angel reminds him.

               “Oh no, I forgot!” He covers his mouth.

               “It’s okay. I don’t think he’d mind now. I’m not being mean to him now. Or at least not more than Gabriel is. Raphael and I are getting along together now.” Luci reassures him.

               “Oh I’m so happy. It made him so sad that you didn’t like him.” Another little angel clasps her hands together. 

               “But we have people we don’t like very much too. Who don’t fit with our song sometimes. There’s a whole spectrum of angels and they can’t share a tune.” She recites. That sounds like something Gabriel would say. 

                “I didn’t know you could change your song.” One in the back sounds both astonished and excited at this. 

                “Yes. Harahel changed her song. She’s brighter now, and a girl.” He can’t even tell where this one came. That’s the most frustrating thing about being human. He used to be able to recognize everyone’s song and now he doesn’t even know who he knew. It’s all different. But this comment causes them to start chattering excitedly among themselves again.

               “I didn’t know. She wasn’t made yet when I was in heaven. We’ll have to think about this.” Malachai says gravely. “Maybe we can talk to some of our brothers. And think of some better examples. They knew you longer.”

                 “You don’t have to…”

                 “Yes we do! Nothing and nobody our father made should ever think that he’s not good even a little bit because that’s wrong and hurtful. Besides even if you are our big brother you are human now and we are still angels and that means we have to take care of you and love you and help you be good.” The little rainbow sherbert is so severe it would be adorably funny if he weren’t so vibrantly sincere. All the other fledglings turn to Malachai slightly and he looks bashfully down at the ground all of a sudden. “Can… can we try and fix your hurt feelings? Please?” It’s that little please that makes him give in. 

                 “If you insist.” Luci can’t help but smile at their shy little shuffles. He’d forgotten so much about his lost little brothers and sister, if he ever even knew. He never paid attention more than he had to in order to know how to handle each one he had to handle. After Malachai fell and died, everything he did with them was just so mercenary. He didn’t want to feel pain like that again when the next one died. And so many more did. After a moment of silent hesitation, Malachai darts forth and gives him a kiss on the cheek. This breaks their reluctance and they all swarm him, giving him hugs and kisses and affectionate rubs of the cheek. Much to his dismay he actually starts to cry at the outpouring of pure unadulterated unselfish love. Sometimes he really does hate his human body.

                   “Oh no! What did we do wrong?”

                   “No, it’s okay. Sometimes crying is a good thing, remember?”

                   “Oh, right. I forgot.”

                   “It’s my turn!”

                   “Alright, don’t shove. Just, when I catch you and kiss you back, you have to go sit down.” He instructs them and starts grabbing little angels and kissing cheeks and foreheads. It gets easier when he remembers he doesn’t have to keep them from the arm with the mark on it. They all steer clear of his right forearm regardless, apologizing if they accidentally bump into it, as if they think it hurts him. They remembered he didn’t want them too near it. “It’s okay. My arm is unmarked and perfect.” He assures them rolling up his sleeve. “It’s safe to touch now.”

                  “So, it doesn’t hurt you anymore?”

                  “No, it didn’t hurt at all when you were made. It was just… dangerous. I didn’t want it to hurt any of you.”

                  “Because you loved us! See that was a good thing, too. And that was good on purpose not by accident either!” They seem so thrilled and not a few of them give a few hugs and kisses to the arm, something that almost makes him want to cry again. He’s probably ovulating. He get’s more weepy at that part of the cycle oddly enough. Hormones are such a pain in the ass. When he can’t argue, they all let out an absurdly loud cheer which startles Abigail awake making the infant start to cry. 

                  “Oh no.” They all whisper simultaneously cringing down a little as if they expect Michael or Raphael to come down and angrily scold them.

                  “It’s okay, baby.” Luci looks over to see Shelly reach over to pat Abigail’s stomach a little before starting to sing that song from Boss Baby. What was it, Blackbird? That was one of the movies suggested for young children jealous of the new baby. Though mostly it just made Shelly glad that Abigail was not her sister and did not have to live with her and take over her whole house.  Abigail quickly calms down and just gives a few little whimpers right as Alex manages to get her exhausted eyes open. Shelly stops patting and goes back to sleep, leaving her hand resting on Abigail’s chest. 

                  “And I didn’t think she could get any cuter.” Luci smiles at them. Of course Abigail will adore Michelle just like she and Raphael adored Michael.

                  “Uncle Helel! You’re awake!” Still a three year old, no matter how precocious, Shelly bolts up at the sound of his voice and runs over pouncing at him. Of course now more than ever does Luci feel the difference between himself and Helel ben Sahar.

                   “Shelly, I really do prefer being called Uncle Luci.” He hugs her, kissing her cheek. 

                    “Okay, I keep forgetting. Look at me I’m doing such a good job. I.. oh… oops.” Shelly looks back as Abigail, dismayed at being abandoned so suddenly starts a little heartbroken wail again. But mommy’s awake now and picks her up calming her down by putting her to the breast. “ Yeah, that’s still all she does. She’s always hungry, and doesn’t like being wet or poopy or to not be touched, and she doesn’t like loud noises either. They make her cry. I think they scare her. She doesn’t like being moved too suddenly either. She doesn’t like a lot of things. I like everything.” She gives an exasperated shake of the head. 

                  “It probably does scare her because everything is so new and she doesn’t understand anything yet.” Luci gives Shelly a squeeze.

                   “Oh no! What will we do about thunder? Helel we have to make sure it never thunders again.” Shelly states firmly. “Don’t laugh. Thunder is very, very loud.”

                   “It is, yes, but we can’t alter Earth’s weather patterns for one little baby. All Abigail needs is someone to hold her and make her feel safe and protected and once she gets used to hearing it, she won’t be afraid of loud noises anymore because her guardian angel gave her the courage to go through it, it’s better for her to learn to be brave than to have everything scary taken away.”

                  “Why?”

                  “Because you can’t keep all scary things away all the time. And facing the little scary things help prepare you for the big scary things so you can defeat them.”

                  “Ohhh, okay. And… and we don’t have to face them alone? Or just babies don’t.”

                  “Sometimes you have to do things alone but not all the time, not when you’re very new and just learning to be brave. Never be afraid to ask for help or even just someone to hold your hand. If we can, if it’s good for you, we will.” Luci explains. “Of course sometimes you’ll want to do things alone that we don’t want you to, but even if you know for sure you can do it, please remember that we’re just people too. And we’re probably just scared then and may need you to hold our hands and let us at least be nearby. Because when you’re an adult, worrying about what could happen to a little person in your care is the scariest thing there is. Even if it makes as little sense to you as some of the things you’re afraid of make to us sometimes.”

                  “Okay.” Shelly heaves a sigh of resignation. “Uncle Luci, Aunt Miqa said that you’ll be my helper and help me learn how to teach people to do things to help me do things and stuff since I’m a guardian angel now.”

                   “I would, honey, but I have to go back and help your aunts and uncles and parents save the world, again. Two worlds this time.”

                   “Michael asked me to convince you to just stay here.” Alex says quietly. “And be safe and take care of the children. Though that last part was more implied than anything else.”

                    “I can’t just sit back and let them do this without me. They need all the help they can get.”

                    “I know,” Alex sighs. “They do.”

                    “You’re not trying very hard.” Luci raises an eyebrow at her.

                    “It’s not Michael’s place to make this decision for you. He’s not your superior officer and he can’t pull the big sister card anymore, not that I’m sure it ever did much good, it’s your life and your decision and personally I want you at my hus.. Raphael’s side in this fight, no matter what your condition.”

                    “You are a surprisingly sensible woman. I should try to find some way to close the break between threads first, though.” Luci sighs. “At least before I go through. We can reopen it if we win or something and come home. It’s not… you’ll have to take care of the girls.

                     “I know.” Alex nods.

                     “So, I’ll have to teach you later, Shelly belly.” Luci tickles Shelly’s stomach but the girl doesn’t look amused.

                     “Are mommy and daddy going to be okay?”

                     “If I have anything to say about it they won’t leave you all alone.” Luci kisses her forehead. This ambiguous reply is far more comforting to Shelly than to Alex.

                     “Harahel should be back soon with more books for the fledglings. She’s a really good teacher. She doesn’t even make anyone participate, she just asks that the ones who don’t, don’t disrupt the group.

                       “They already know how to read and write. What is she teaching them?”

                        “About humans and earth mostly. Angels already know how to be angels, but there’s a lot they don’t know about and find confusing so she’s teaching them about people the same way people teach children about themselves. Stories and playing pretend. It’s hard for her to explain something about humans because she hasn’t been one and being in a vessel’s not quite the same.”

                       “Isn’t that the truth.” Luci considers. “It’s hard to describe. Especially to those how haven’t been in vessels.”

                       “Is Abigail a vessel?” Shelly asks tugging on Luci’s sleeve.

                       “No. Her mother isn’t and her father had to severely alter his body to keep it at all. I have no idea what she is actually. You are though, because your father is and your mother’s body is. I don’t know if a nephilim can host an angel though since you do have both some grace and a soul. There may not be enough room, of course.  so I wouldn’t even consider trying it unless your uncle Raphael is around.”

                       “Are you a vessel?”

                       “Well, yes, I suppose I am.” Luci’s not entirely sure she likes to admit this.

                       “So you could let some of your brothers use your body and show them what being human is like that way.” Shelly beams. Luci has never wanted to smack his little song more than he does at that moment. It was hard enough sharing a body with Denny. But letting angel after angel use him fuck kind of strange. Not that he couldn’t easily take control of his body again with these little fluff balls, but it’s a hell of a precedent to make.

                     “Hara!” Alex waves, before Luci can think of an age appropriate response to the suggestion. 

                     “Oh, hello.” Harahel walks over to them and smiles at Luci. “Are you our Helel or… Ours.” The angel shrinks a little at Luci’s irritated glare.

                     “Michael dumped me here to sit out the fight and work on closing up the tear between threads just in case. I could use a little help with the research.” He says reluctantly.

                     “You.. you’re asking me to help you?”

                     “Do you see any other librarian’s here?” Luci snaps, then covers his eyes. “Right. I’m the devil. I can’t be trusted.”

                     “I didn’t even think about that.” Harahel looks uncomfortable, and is silent for a minute. I was just surprised you were asking me.”

                     “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to put you in this position. I’ll figure something out on my own. Go… read to the kiddies.” He nudges his little sister back towards the fledglings.

                    “Shelly, go to story time so Aunt Luci and I can talk.” Alex says gently. “We’ll protect the baby until you return.”

                    “Okay.” Shelly runs off after Harahel.

                    “I don’t want to talk.’ Luci says when they’re all a decent distance away.

                    “I know.” Alex smiles at her. “Shelly asks a lot of questions that’s all.” Alex adjusts the nursing baby a little and reaches out to pat Luci’s back, but she doesn’t say anything else. She just lets Luci sit there quietly. Of course as Alex expected, Luci can’t exactly sit silent and in the center of attention for long.

                     “I’d forgotten that’s all. Who I am, what I’ve done, and the cost of all of that. That I’m still paying.”

                      “It’s nice isn’t it?” Alex comments. Luci looks back at her, “When you can forget those things.”

                      “No. Because then you have to remember.”

                      “Yeah, but you know, every day you get further and further from who you were. And even if it takes as long for them who you were. And even if it takes as long to for them to see this change as it did for them to see an accept the first. They will see it. Just like Raphael sees it.”

                      “Really? Because he didn’t think I was good enough to take my grace back yet, even just long enough to fight the darkness.”

                      “Maybe. But you know, maybe he just doesn’t completely trust his own judgement concerning you or he wants you to be safe here, too. I don’t know, but he did name you and Michael as Abigail’s legal guardians if anything happens to the both of us, at the same time. So, maybe think about that.”

                       “He did?” Luci looks up at her surprised.

                       “Yeah, he did. You know, provided you’re not the one who kills any of us.” She jokes, sort of. Luci just looks back out at the children, not saying a word.


	46. Footprints in the Sand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helel and Chuck have some father son time.
> 
> Or what Lucifer and his father slowly lost after he took the mark.

             “Let’s go for a walk.” Chuck rubs Helel’s back.

             “Sure. Where?”

             “We haven’t been to the beach for a while and I know you love it. There’s a new island in the pacific that wasn’t here the last time.”

            “It sounds wonderful.” Helel smiles and follos his fathe’s lead to a charming little island where it’s still daylight, sunset actually, with the clear crystal tide lapping at the shore. “Everything Is so pristine.” Helel takes off his shoes and steps into the water. “I forgot there were places like this left on earth. I spend so much time in the man man world.”

              “Which has it’s own beauty.”

              “In places. Sometimes there’s surprising beauty, if only for the ugliness that surrounds it, but so far it doesn’t really compare to yours, not even slightly. The best of it only mimics yours.”

               “Well,you are a bit biased,” Chuck grins, not a little pleased though, “But give them time. Sometimes they surprise even me.”

               “Liar.” Helel smiles as he wades in the surf.

               “You call me a liar?”

               “Why not? You are all things after all. Honest when you need to be, you lie when you need to, hide and reveal what you need to. Isn’t that what we’re supposed to believe? That there’s some divine plan for everything all the time? That everything we do is prescripted for us?” Helel looks back. “That’s one of the current theories as to your divine will. God the author of the only book we can ever read.”

                “Well, if you must describe life as a book then it’s the most elaborate pick your own adventure book ever conceived.” Chuck shrugs, enjoying the sound of his son’s laughter. “Would it make you feel better if I told you I’m just making it up as I go and I have no idea what I’m doing or how it’s all going to end?”

                 “Sometimes yes, sometimes no, but either way it doesn’t make it the truth. I missed this, being able to be with you, say anything, ask anything no matter how outrageous, but it’s fine because I love you and you love me and I trust you and you know that. I can be myself the entire time, like I can with my Mule.”

                 “I’m happy you’re not too afraid to talk to me about this.” Chuck kicks his foot through the water to splash Helel a little.

                 “I love him, Dad. More than I thought I could ever love anyone but you.”

                 “More than you love me?”

                 “No. I could never love anything more than I love you, and I know it was just hyperbole to rob the reluctant parties of the excuse not to try. But I am trying to love them more and more each day. It’s hard and I don’t always succeed, but I am trying.”

                “I know you are and that’s all I ask.” He puts an arm around his son, and ruffles his hair, sometime Helel doesn’t particularly like but tolerates as an annoying display of affection. At the moment though he appreciates it much more than he used to.

                “Are you still angry with me for giving into my carnal desires with Samuel?”

                “No, just...sad. You can’t go back now. Being your vessel will no longer be enough for either of you. There are so many things that can happen. So many paths to heartbreak and each one will come to pass for you.”

                “What do you mean?”

                “Every choice that can be made has been made or will be made. That’s what threads of reality are. Each action, each choice unravels into another thread.”

                “That’s… are there so many realities?”

                “As many as there are atoms in the universe, and more. This is how I win. Instead of one battle, one loss of victory, there are countless. Every single one leads me closer to the ultimate solution. I knew I could never keep her locked away forever. In one of these threads we’ll find a way to co-exist, and when we do, then things can truly begin.” This statement takes Helel by surprise.

                “What do you mean begin? Haven’t things begun?” Helel stops wading through the surf and turns to his father.

                “Not even close.” Chuck smiles, shaking his head. Helel just looks at him, trying to process this. With all there is good and bad and simple and confusing, the thought that this isn’t even a… a prologue to the main event, of an infinity beyond infinity both excites and terrifies him. It’s outright overwhelming and spurs his body’s processes to much that  his hands start to shake and his chest contracts tightly. “Shhh…. it’s okay.” His father takes Helel in his arms, holding him close, soothing the revelation from his son’s mind. “You always understand us the most.” He kisses Helel’s forhead.

               “So, is that a no?” Helel asks looking up at him. “You’re not angry with me for physically expressing my love for Samuel?”

                “No. I’m not and never was. I am concerned. You’ve chosen a very… difficult path for the both of you. I was more so… hurt. Because you, my most beloved shining star lost faith in me.”

                “You think I lost faith in you? Because I slept with Mule?” Helel looks hurt at the accusation. “Dad, all I’ve had of you for the longest time is my faith. To think that my feelings for your greatest creation could take that away...”

                 “No, Helel, I’m saying you slept with him because you lost faith, not the other way around. You gave up on life, on me, and so gave into your desires because you believed there was nothing left. Or are you going to try to tell me that if you truly believed that i would come back for you, you wouldn’t have waited to discuss this with me, if only to ensure there would be no repercussions for Samuel.”  Chuck gives him a knowing look. Helel’s silent and forces himself to think about this honestly.

                  “No, I wouldn’t have waited. I would have wanted to, but I’d have been too afraid of what you’d say.” He admits, straightening up. “And that it might be no. You’re right, though. I thought there was no point in holding back, that one or both of us would die and the world could end and it would have just denied my Mule and myself some much needed closeness and comfort for nothing. I didn’t think of it as giving up on you, but I suppose I had.” Helel sits down in the sand. “I’m sorry, dad.”

                    “You’re forgiven.” Chuck sits next to him. “And you’re welcome.” God’s teasing smile confuses him for a moment before he remembers lying in bed after the first round, just tangled up in each other, thanking his father for Mule’s creation. They hadn’t found the rhythms that led him to ecstasy yet but the love and closeness and clear intimacy of the experience, the trust and vulnerability of it just made him feel so… satisfied. “It’s not the use of your vessel I intended for you, but you never end up doing what I intend you to do, it’s one of the few consistancies so far.” He sighs. “Besides, you’re only endangering yourself.”

                   “Endangering? But I thought you weren’t angry.” Helel traces a line in the sand at the edge of the next wave. “Besides if I hadn’t pushed Michael over the edge already, I doubt this would do it.”

                   “Pregnancy, Helel.”

                   “I’m male, father. I can’t get pregnant.”

                   “You are an archangel who prefers to be considered male wearing a female vessel. If a man has a fully functioning uterus and ovaries he can absolutely get pregnant.”

                   “If the world wasn’t going to end that might not be so bad.” Helel says quietly. “He’d be a wonderful father. I know he’d make a beautiful amazing child.”

                    “Even if you died in the process?”

                    “Maybe.” He says quietly. “But that’s always a risk, isn’t it?”

                    “It’s almost a certainty, Helel. It would drain you of all your grace and when you were mortal, it would drain you of your life as well until you lost it in the birthing.”

                    “Gabriel survived it.’

                    “I know. Because of Raphael. There are so very many paths to heartbreak in this.”

                    “That’s always true of everything. But it doesn’t matter, my possession of this body halts the biological processes regardless.”

                    “True. But be careful regardless. Remember this body is only loaned to you. I doubt very much whoever is intended to receive it, would want to be pregnant by with strangers child almost immediately upon receipt of it, no matter how cute a baby it is.”

                     “That’s a very good point. I’d forgotten it was only mine temporarily.” Helel looks at his hands. “What am I going to do when I have to give it away?”

                     “That’s the question, isn’t it? After tasting this, how do you give it up again? How do you give him up?”

                     “I might not have to. I could take other vessels, briefly, if I had permission and put them away during…” Helel considers. “He’d never get bored.”

                      “And you would be alright with leaving others with the memories of your most intimate moments? You didn’t think of that either. Even if they’re not aware, they always know on some level.”

                     “I didn’t think of that.” Helel covers his face. 

                     “You’re like me, my shining star. We are jealous creatures, who do not like to share the affections of those who love us. Andhe is yours more than he could belong to any human lover. You’re a part of each other, but without your own body you know you can’t continue down the road you’ve begun. It maybe even harder to turn back.”

                     “I wish I wasn’t so bad at creating things. I could try to twin this vessel. But every attempt goes horribly wrong. I still cringe every time I see the north american opossum. And I hate snow drops with a passion. They just remind me how terrible I am at it.”

                    “Well,it’s like they say, those who can’t do, join management. And it’s hardly stranger than Gabriel’s platypus.”

                    “Yes. but the platypus is a cute abomination, even though it was very nearly a giant acid spewing purple beetle. Opossums are nightmares made flesh.” Helel groans.

                    “You can’t be good at everything, son. As for snow drops you’re looking at them wrong. This little flower is a symbol of your little brother’s love for you. He saw you were struggling and rejoiced because there was something he could do that would just maybe earn the praise of the brother he admired so greatly. He put everything he had into fixing it for you, to help you because he loved you so much and wanted you to love him.” This reminder just makes Helel’s lips tighten.

                    “And his jeweled breast plate.” Chuck nudges him. “He wanted to be as pretty as you. He wanted to be as smart as you as talented as you. You broke his heart is a thousand little ways, Helel. You’ll have to fix it the same way.”

                    “That other Raphael. He died for me. I don’t even know how they got him back. but… dad?” Helel looks over at him.

                    “Yes, Helel?”

                    “Is it hard to resurrect an angel? Just a little one?”

                    “No. But I’m not going to.” Chuck says gently.

                    “Please, he died trying to save a girl I abandoned. He was a good brave angel that I took for granted. He deserves to live.” Helel pleads. “In the other thread you must have resurrected him a thousand times. You promoted him repeatedly. He has greatness in him…”

                    “It’s not always about what people deserve or how great they are. If i repeatedly resurrected him it’s because his continued existence was vital enough that I had to. Right now his death is more important.” It’s only the grief in his father’s voice that keeps Helel from being angry. “If we win in this thread, then that maybe something you can rectify yourself. It all depends on the price you’re willing to pay. It’s easy to ask me to do things for you, but make it cheap and worthless at the same time. You are all capable of such great things and I want to see that. I want to see you take what befalls you and turn it into glory beyond what you dreamed  you could accomplish. I want to see wonder, compassion and understanding dawning inside you. Sometimes in order to feel the joy of something you have to be deprived of it. Of all my children I know you can understand .” Chuck puts an arm around him.

                    “I do understand. I just don’t like it.”

                    “Well, fortunately liking something is not a prerequisite for understanding it. I love moments like this. Where I can talk plainly and be heard and understood.” He rests his head against his son’s who does indeed understand.

                    “It can be so exhausting trying to lead people in the right direction. So many rules and limitations and you get the urge to just make them do it your way, but it’s still so rewarding when things go the way you hoped, or better. I don’t think I’ll mind the frustration as much anymore though.”

                   “No?”

                   “No, the other me, the one who feel, in the books he seemed so… lost, like  he’d just given up on anything ever getting better. I mean, why would he fall in line with your plans for his own self destruction after rebelling the way he did. He was marching to his own death and just burning everything down on his way there. I can’t imagine corrupting people is very satisfying. I mean, getting people to do things they want to do is so easy. It must have gotten so… boring.” He sighs and looks at the sun shining on the sea. “Can you imagine, on top of being nothing more than an empty mirror, doing nothing worth preserving with only the vaguest idea why? I think I owe Gabriel so much more than I ever even suspected.”

                    “Helel ben Sahar, oh shining one, son of the morning. Why do you insist on believing yourself to be so empty? And while you are certainly not just a mirror, why do you consider being a mirror so detestable. Do you know why I made you of water and light?”

                   “Because Michael kept accidentally burning down heaven?” Helel jokes.

                   “Do you know the other reason I made you of water and light?’ Chuck grins.

                   “Really?” Helel laughs turning to face him. “Did she really? She never told me that!” His  father gives him a look that reminds him that is beside the point. “Okay,okay. No, I don’t know why you made me as I am.”

                    “Because of water’s purity, it’s reflective properties, it’s resilience, because on the surface it is a mirror. Don’t you know how valuable it is for people to be able to see themselves? And not just themselves as they are but themselves as they could be. Water cleanses and purifies, nurtures and stimulates. And aside from that, look.” Chuck points to the reflection of the sun on the waves. “Humans can’t look at the sun, but when it’s reflected on rolling waves in just the right way, they can see much more than they could normally stand. And the closer you get… 

                     “Here.” Chuck takes his son’s hand and stands up leading him into the water until they stand on the ocean floor watching the light filter down into a beautiful lush reef. The sun is just a shining patch on the surface. “Water filters as well, through you , others can see a reflection of my glory more brilliantly than they can in anyone else. Is that nothing? Is that something to scorn?”

                      “No, but where am I in all of these reflections? I want to be seen, too.”

                      “You’re here.” Chuck waves his hands around. “You are a beauty all your own, a secret known only to a treasured few. Just because the surface is all some can see, doesn’t mean that’s all there is. You were, from the beginning meant to be a teacher, a guide, a savior of men and angels alike. And the most useful thing is not only the ability to show people where they should go, but where they are, and even what they could be. But this majesty around us… all of this is only for those who are worthy of it, who can look past themselves and brave the tempest within. Whenever you feel empty, come back here and remember what I’ve said.”

                      “Dad,” Helel holds onto his father’s hand tighter,as these final words sound almost like a last request. “I won’t let her hurt you. I won’t.” Chuck smiles at him.

                      “It’s not the child’s job to protect their father, Helel. There must be balance. Darkness and light, we belong to each other. Creation, it needs us both to exist, or neither of us. I’m not always sure why. It’s all so frustrating.“ He starts to walk the ocean floor, threatening to leave Helel behind.

                       “Were you always fighting?” Helel keeps hold of his hand, but can’t help but linger, running his fingers over the coral and fish that swim near him.”

                       “No, in the beginning there was just the two of us and your uncle, Death of course. And we would dance and play but as time went on I needed to make more and more and she just wouldn’t stop breaking and changing things.”

                       “You mean like entropy?” 

                       “Not really, stagnation oddly enough. She kept trying to keep things the same. No growth, no healing, nothing new. And that’s if she liked it, if not she’d just crumble it to pieces. Sometimes she’s crumble things accidentally in trying to preserve them. Isn’t that always the real battle, though? Preservation versus progress.”

                        “Not all change is good, though, and some things are worth preserving.”

                        “That’s right, we need balance. The trouble is that the darkness held sway for so long I had to take control for just as long to make what I couldn’t leave unmade. But that’s a change so she fought it. I love my sister. She was once everyting to me and i don’t love her less now. If I could share all of this with her, without losing it I would. Loving someone doesn’t mean sacrificing everything else you love and are for them. Loving means never asking or wanting them to.”

                        “Sometimes it is, though.”

                        “No. Love is never the reason why such sacrifice needs to be made, love is just what gives you the strength and courage to do what you know you must.” Chuck waits for him to catch up. “Thank you for walking with me, Helel.”

                        “Thank you for talking with me. And listening, always for listening.” Helel just let’s his father hold him as the currents brush against them like the wind. If only this moment never had to end.


	47. Beneath the Surface

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amara and Pashoresa begin their plan  
> The angels and winchesters shoot the breeze waiting for God to return.  
> Pashoresa returns to Heaven.

         “So, this is our army?” Amara looks over the terrified fallen angels standing before her.

         “No. They’re our  message. The earth must be purged. There are too many people flawed and impure, destroying the earth and each other. You are each assigned a city. You are to take all children under seven and nursing mothers to the Garden. When you have completed this you are all to return to the center of your city and wait for orders.”

         “But the garden is in heaven now. It will kill them instantly.” One asks.

         “I am returning it to earth today.”

         “What are you going to do to them?”

         “That is not your concern.” Before her perfection, Pashoresa would have been more than a little annoyed by now. But these are not good soldiers, or even good angels. Expectations must be adjusted.

         “The fuck it’s not!” Everyone steps away from the outraged angel. “All I wanted was to have a little fun. Consentual harmless fun when ever the hell I wanted. Harming children? Not fun. Destroying the earth? Not exactly my cup of tea. So I’m not going to toe the line without question. If I had it in me to do that I’d still be in heaven with the other boring bastards. I’m asking you again, Mi..Pa.. whatever your name is now, what are you going to do to them?” He stands straight, staring at their darkened, more terrifying sister. Shaking in his boats but he’s still standing.

          “They will be made into what they should be. Free of physical flaw, disease, weakness, and we will make humanity into what it was always meant to be. No more passively waiting for them to correct themselves, no more waiting for him to heal the damage to the earth that they themselves caused. The earth will be reformed and repaired and we will all start a new. Father has promised never to flood the world again, and I will not break that promise. When the earth his purified, we will do so with heat and flame.”

          “You have lost your fucking mind. All of you have!” The angel turns to the others. “Why do anything she says when you know she’s just going to kill us all anyway.”

          “You know that, do you?” Pashoresa asks calmly. “Then ask yourself, how do you want to die? And when? If the answers to those are ‘quickly’ and ‘not right now’. Then you will do what I say, as I say. Do you understand?”  The angel draws himself up and turns back to face his eldest sister.

            “Blow me.” 

             He doesn’t feel it at first, the lick of invisible flames that slowly turn his skin black. As the first of his charred flesh falls off his fingertips, it hits his grace. His sister’s flames devour him inch by inch with searing agony he didn’t know possible. His screams sake all of Sheol igniting flames quickly suffocated by Pashoresa’s own. 

            “Then again.” Pashoresa draws the flame back. “Maybe, I won’t kill you.” The other fallen angels stare in horror as the burnt broken vessel, falls to the ground, the angel inside still screaming in pain but unable to heal or move or do anything but suffer. “Does anyone else have any objections? No? Start your tasks, the garden will be there shortly. Aunt Amara, Sheol is yours to do with as you please.” She bows to the darkness who smiles and nods. “I will be back shortly.”

            “Have fun, Pashoresa.” She pats her neice’s cheek and turns to explore the burning ruins as Pashorsa flies to heaven. 

                   “Oh, don’t sulk.  You didn’t actually expect Helel to be in trouble did you?” Bree rolls her eyes, reaching up to pat her husband’s cheek as he rests her head on his lap. 

                  “if it makes you feel better, in our thead he was stripped of all his titles, cast from heaven by Michael so hard he shattered his wings on a glacier. He fought and lost a civil war and got thrown in the cage, then when he escaped got put back in by his own vessel, then got out again only to be killed by the darkness. Then he was resurrect made mortal by that maniac,” ‘April’ points to his little sister, “ And he’s in a body that is lactose intolerant, which i didn’t tell him  until well after he drank a pint of chocolate milk.”

                   “That does actually,” Raphael grins at his counterpart. “A great deal.”

                   “So, you’re just a great big killing machine of complete and utter destruction in every thread, huh?” Bree tilts her head back to give an upside down glance to Michael who’s standing by the bar.

                   “Miqa’s lethal everywhere.” Gabriel gives an unfreindly smile at Bree which doesn’t bother her half as much as hearing a version of herself calling her sister Miqa again. “And we are chaotic pranksters in all of them, too.”

                    “With a major brother complex.” Sam adds, teasingly, to lighten the heavy air between the two.

                     “Hey! You of all people have no right to talk.” Gabriel shoves him.

                     “How could you let that happen?” The Sheriff demands of Dean, pointing to Sam and Gabriel. Dean does not have to ask what he means.                 

                      “Well, she died for us twice, helped us stop a fight to the death between Mr. and Mrs. Wingcest, it’s wingcest rest?” Dean turns to Gabriel who gives him a thumbs up. “And killed the only sibling she ever killed for his sake.”

                     “Hey! No!” Gabriel holds out her hand, silencing Dean.

                     “What sibling?” Michael frowns.

                     “Azrael.” Raphael informs him.

                     “Oh you tattling brat!” Gabriel exclaims before realize he was the one she was keeping it from. “How did you even know?”

                      “Sariel told me herself.”

                      “Damn, I thought she’d never admit that happened, at least not to her ex.”

                      “You had a fling with Sariel?” The nightingale’s husband looks to his counterpart who just gives his sister an irritated look. 

                      “No. Azrael and i did not have a fling or a thing or anything like that and I don’t understand why everyone keeps insisting I did.”

                      “Why did you kill Raphael’s first crush?” Michael asks his sister.

                      “Michael…” Raphael feels absolutely betrayed at his sister joining in.

                      “Just because you were eyes deep in denial, doesn’t mean it wasn’t true, Raph. It was kind of cute.” Michael smiles. “Granted I like Alex much better.”

                      “Pfft. That thing.” Bree crosses her arms. “You’d never really prefer some human thing to me, would you, Raphi?” She pouts up at her husband.

                      “I love you dearly, but there are times I’d prefer a blade to the neck to you.” He kisses his hand and taps it to her scowling lips.

                      “Well?” Michael turns to Gabriel

                      “She was refusing to honor Sam’s deal with Hela and was trying to toss his soul into the empty in revenge for this idiot thinking killing Death was a good idea.” She points accusingly at Dean.

                      “Are you complaining? He wanted me to kill Sam!” Dean retorts.

                     “Which wouldn’t have been an issue if you hadn’t been dumb enough to take the mark in the first place.”

                      “And I didn’t kill Death really, I just… sent him to the empty.”

                      “With his own scythe.” Sam reminds him with a grin.

                      “Do you really want to start playing this game, Sammy? Because believe the last potentially world ending fuck us was yours and Cas’s.”

                      “Jesus, you people are insane.” The sherrif walks over to his mother who’s asleep in the seat, still a teenager. “And will someone put my mother back the way she was?”

                      “Man, Dean-o, when I said you couldn’t possibly be a bigger pick, I guess I was wrong so.. my apologies.” Gabriel shakes her head at the Sheriff.

                      “Oh, bite me, blondie.” Dean flips her off.

                      “Well, I never. Are you going to let him talk to me like that, Sam?” She puts her hands on her hips, not quite able to keep the amused smile from her face.

                      “Yes.”

                      “What’s the empty?” The sheriff asks, deciding to ignore the reprobates.

                      “It’s where things go that don’t come back.” The nightingale’s husband says quietly. “Where angels go when they die.”

                       “And demons and spirits and pagan gods.” Dean lists off. “It’s kind of like the phantom zone.”

                       “But she got you out.” The sheriff points to Gabriel. “So just as useless as the actual phantom zone.”

                       “Not exactly, I had to drink the seven virtues, empty my body of heart, grace and mind, and hurl myself into oblivion on a tether to gather and connect everything in there to existence, with who knows how many angels and gods anchoring it. It’s not exactly an easy or repeatable thing.” Gabriel protests.

                       “Raphael! You let your little sister do something like that?” The other Raphael demands.

                       “ I was dead, I didn’t have a say in the matter. Even if I wasn’t I hadn’t seen her since Lucifer fell.” he replies, looking to his little sister a bit distressed at the memory that accompanies it. His counterpart just puts a hand on his arm in sympathy.

                       “But it turned out to be good because there stopped being more souls when God vanished along with the Darkness, so we had to jump start reincarnation.” Gabriel adds. “Hey, so, should I turn the little fuzzball back?” She looks to Dean’s shirt.

                       “Nah, I think he’s enjoying himself.” Dean looks at the purring bundle curled up snugly in the breast pocket of his overshirt. “I think he’s kind of tired, actually.”

                       “Yeah, dad kind of took alot out of him to fix me up. We should just let him rest before the big fight. I still think we should send him home with Luci.” Gabriel considers, not a little worried about her baby brother.

                        “No. We left him out of the fight in purgatory. If he wants to be here, he should be here.” Raphael says firmly.

                        “He is a skilled fighter and strategist,” Michael grudgingly admits. “We need all we can get.”

                         “What’s with the attitude? Still upset about Castiel doing lascivious acts with your vessel before you even got to use it once?” Bree teases.

                         “Nah, I’m pretty sure it’s more the fact that Cassie there molotoved him with a holy fire cocktail while trying to stop the apocalypse.” Gabriel snickers. Bree laughs her head off at this. 

                          “I’m not quite that prideful.” Michael replies cooly, but declines to correct her as he has the feeling that the nightingale would take even more exception to the real reason for his distance from his sibling than even he would. Both Raphael’s suddenly reach back for each other, looking extremely distressed.

                          “What’s… oh shit!” Bree turns pale as she breifly taps in to the call they’re receiving. “No! Don’t you dare…” She grabs onto her husband’s torso tightly. “Wait until our father gets back. It’s a trap, you know it is.”

                          “Raphael what’s wrong?” Michael asks.

                          “I’m sorry.” The Raphael’s vanish.

                          “Wait!” Bree calls. 

                          “What’s going on?”

                          “One of my angels is injured, like severely torturously injured.” Bree stands up. “That stupid… reckless… Why does he have to heal fucking everything!”

                           “Don’t worry. Our Raphael will make sure yours get back to you.”

                          Much to her surprise when she approaches heaven there are not alarms, no one comes to stop her and while the bare minimum of angels are at their posts when she comes near they kneel to her respectfully bowing their heads.

             “Welcome home.” One who’s not quaking as badly says. She ignores him and walks to the garden. Almost every angel in Heaven is gathered there, sitting in the grass around the three where that librarian is standing holding a scroll. The angel freezes in place, looking very much like he wants to faint.

              “Welcome home, Michael.” He greets him shakily, rolling up the scroll again. They all look afraid when they look back to see him.

              “Sister… your light..” Ariel exclaims flying over to him. But when she reaches over to touch her sister’s cheek to examine her, she’s met by searing pain.

              “It would be best not to get too close to me.” Pashoresa says flatly. “I will no longer be reining myself in for your convenience.”

              “Are you in pain?” Ariel asks as she shakily restores her own damaged hand.

              “Not any more. Why aren’t you all at your posts?” She demands of the crowd. 

              “They’re at bare minimum, taking turns so i can read them the message.” The librarian forces himself to speak. What is his name? Something -el. There are far too many angels to remember them all. She never understood how Raphael did. But what message? The way he tried to put it away was very suspicious.

               “Then read it.” Pashoresa crosses her arms. The angel opens his mouth but can’t say anything. “Or is it something you don’t wish me to hear.”

                “No… it’s just… Yes,sir.” He just starts to tremble though until his little errand runner, Nathaniel comes up behind him and puts his arms around his friend, resting his cheek next to the scared one’s cheek. Is that angel actually going to stay that way? It appears he is. Why is this message being given only in the garden and not just broadcast to all of heaven if there’s nothing wrong with it? 

                “Read it exactly as written.” She commands firmly.

                “Yes, sir.” The angel focuses his attention on the scroll. “My beloved siblings, It has reached my attention that some of you have questioned the justice of my banishment. I am touched by your faith in me, but let me assure you that it’s every bit deserved. I have sinned against heaven and earth and most of all my dearest Michael. While my intentions were largely good, it does not excuse my actions, especially not as they resulted in our family being torn apart more than it previously had been. There was no excuse for what I did to Raphael or for my deceptions. I can only hope to accept my punishment with grace and dignity and strive to one day redeem myself in all of your eyes.

                 “So I charge you all to.. to love each other and support and care for each other. Most of all to love and care for Michael, who has suffered more than any for my transgressions. Do all you can to help her heal and give her every piece of respect and affection you have in you. With all she has done for us, teaching, nurturing, protecting us, if we cannot return at least a fraction of that, we are poor excuses of celestial intent indeed. 

                “You all know what you have to do, you have done it so well in my presence i have no fear of what will happen in my absence. Though most importantly, remember what our father asked of us above all else, to love each other, protect each other, and love and protect humanity above all else. I have faith in you. I love you and only wish I had lived up to your faith and love for me.

                 “If you need anything of me, I will do what I can for you, but know that I am not alone. My Samuel is with me and little in this universe can do me harm, so you need not fear for my safety. When the darkness comes, I will do everything I can to stop her, and have many allies in this fight. Protect humanity, protect heaven, protect each other, and know that I am and always have been proud of each and every one of you,

                    Your brother, Helel ben Sahar.”

                The entire room is silent with not a few angels on the verge of tears. Several angels are staring anxiously back at Pashoresa waiting for her response for this. The tension doesn’t ease any as she spreads her wings, the formerly bright white feathers, now a blot of emptiness cutting into the light of heaven as she moves. 

                 “Show me the scroll.” She demands. The librarian turns the writing to face her. After a moment of reading to confirm that it is indeed written as it was read, Pashoresa reaches out towards it, not even touching it before it bursts into flames. Nathaniel strikes the burning scroll out of the librarian’s hands and pulls the frozen angel as far away from their sister as he can.

                 “I have no need of your care of concern.” Pashoresa doesn’t bother to turn and face them, she just looks at the remains of the scroll. “Not from any of you. i have been purified and strengthened. If you wish to be as well, if you wish to continue living you will stay in heaven and do nothing until I return.”

                 “But… the darkness… we have to do something.” Raziel exclaims though his voice fades as Michael turns to look at him.

                  “No, you don’t. The only ones we need saving from one ourselves, our weakness, our blindness, misleading emotions compromising our judgement. As I have been cleansed and made perfect, so shall you, and so shall all of existence. We were abandoned by our father, but now a mother has come to claim us as her own. the darkness is not what we have been led to believe her to be. She is our salvation, not our destruction.”

                 “Michael… we already have a mother. You.” The librarian breaks away from Nathaniel, speaking unusually boldly, it’s almost as big a shock as the fact he left the library in the first place. She may not remember his name but she does remember his disgrace. This is the one who threw his sword away? There is more to him  than she had seen before. Buried in weakness, fear and anxiety, crippled with the imperfections their father had burdened them with. 

                 “My name is Pashoresa.” She thunders. “Do not address me otherwise. Be warned. You may join us at any time, but if you oppose us you will be slaughtered without mercy. Now unless your duties place you here, leave this garden immediately. Not you, librarian.” She adds as Nathaniel starts to usher out Helel’s little messenger among the other angels.  “What is your name?”

                 “Harahel.” He replies. The two angels stay close, holding onto each other like they’re a fresh batch of fledglings. Nathaniel protecting Harahel, like a good big brother, though it irritates her for some reason.

                 “Go, paseh, take care of my library.” Harahel pleads gently with his brother. That’s it. Harahel is the eldest, the first angel carved from that batch. With most of them the eldest is the prime example, a model for the rest of them. But this one was small and pretty and timid and kept dropping his sword, like no angel before him.  In that sense the rest stayed true, each was like no angel before them, all so different, even from the beginning, a cacophany of angels that still clung to each other as tightly as every other batch. Specialists, though it took Raphael to train most of them and keep them alive in the process, and Helel to make proper use of them. They were always the most devoted to Helel.

                 She had so long just dismissed the useless librarian, but perhaps something was overlooked. All the time Helel spent in the library, researching, reading, thinking, conspiring? What kind of message was really being sent? The librarian is clearly more important than he seems. 

                  “Do not move.” Michael encircles the angel with flames, and flies to the controls, sending Eden back to the material plain.


	48. Little Brothers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pashoresa interrogates Harahel  
> Raphael makes a sacrifice to save his counterpart and the burnt angel  
> Michael is not happy about it  
> Nathaniel is not very self aware.

             “No. I don’t know.” Harahel weeps at the questioning. Just questions not even threats or other forms of persuasion and this little things crumbles. “He loves you that’s all and feels bad, and doesn’t want heaven to fall apart just because he made a mistake. Just like it said that’s all.”

             Pashoresa just stares at him. It’s impossible that there wasn’t some ulterior motive. Helel is deceitful, that much is clear. And clever. There must have been some reason he chose this insignificant thing. Their father liked to choose the most pathetic creatures around to work his will, so no one would mistake the successes he gave through them as their own most likely. Helel and their father are just alike, deceitful,manipulative, selfish, tricky. He and Gabriel are also alike in that way. Why didn’t she see it? Though to be honest, it’s incredibly unlikely that Helel would take this timid creature into his confidence, who breaks so quickly. If he’s delivered a coded message or participated in some underhanded scheme, it’s likely he doesn’t know it.

             “I apologize.” Pashoresa sighs. “You clearly believe him to be all I once thought him to be. And would never doubt what you are told.”

             “Please let me go.” Harahel rubs his eyes.

             “I neglected you, didn’t I? Overlooked you.” The empty eyes in the darkened steel form with glowing red joints peer intently at the little angel.

             “Well, there are almost a million of us.” Hara reassures her. “And I’m not especially noteworthy, so it’s not a surprise that you wouldn’t notice me when I didn’t make such horrible mistakes.”

              “Helel took note of you.”

              “Yes. He did.” Harahel’s adoring smile grates on her nerves. “So, everything turned out okay.”

              “No, it didn’t. You are an angel who can’t fight, timid and weak. You are the eldest of your batch, you should be an example for your batchmates and younger siblings. For that reason alone I should have taken you in hand. I was derelict in my duty to you and I must apologize for that as well.” It’s an odd sort of statement. It doesn’t sound false but it doesn’t sound especially heartfelt either. More a cold acknowledgement of an accepted truth and obligation.

              “No, you don’t. You have a lot of duties. You can’t be responsible for everything. That’s impossible. Anyways, I don’t need to fight in the library. Why does every one have to be able to fight? And even if it is a good idea that we can, is our most important ability really the ability to hurt others? Maybe that’s just an excuse, but either way, it’s not your fault I’m such a bad angel. Maybe it’s just how I was made.”

              “You’re right. I keep forgetting.” Pashoresa takes the circle of flames down from around his little brother. “I would fix you. Make you stronger, a better angel. The angel you should have been all along.”

               “No, thank you.” Harahel looks down at his hands. She just looks at him surprised. “I don’t want anyone to fix me.”

               “You don’t. What do you want if not to be whole and perfect?” Pashoresa asks, not a little sarcastically.

               “I… I want to watch a game of ollama.” Is the odd reply. “It looked so interesting in the pictographs and the way Nathaniel described it, I always wanted to see it. And maybe play it, and that’s it really. I have my library. I have my brother who loves me and my favorite song and I matter, if only in the library. And whatever is wrong with me, maybe I don’t know what it is exactly, but I don’t want other people to decide what that is for me. I want to find out myself and fix it on my own. Well, with help, but i don’t want it done for me.” He nervously plays with his hands as he speaks. “That’s part of life and learning and things like that, isn’t it? Growth and change. Even the unpleasant things you can take something away from it, learn something new, become better for it, right? And maybe even make it easier for someone else to go through it. And that a good thing?”

             “No, because why should we have to suffer these things at all?” Pashoresa shakes her head. “But you have time to think of what you wish to be fixed. The children will be brought to the garden shortly.  You’re a librarian, do you know stories? Children like stories”

               “Yes,” Harahel replies warily. “Lots of them.”

               “Then when they come read to them and keep them entertained. You are not a threatening angel, they will feel safe and secure with you and not the least frightened. I will return shortly.”

 

              When the Raphaels land in Sheol, it’s strangely empty. There are no fallen angels, few souls and the cries of agony seem to be coming from a charred husk of flesh that somehow still contains an angel. Not just any angel, the one who followed Castiel from heaven with blind devotion, and upon his subsequent rejection simply embraced the hedonistic decadence of sheol. Raphael has always had especial sympathy for this one. He fell for love, like Raphael himself, but didn’t even get to have it returned.

             “I’ll take the vessel, you sooth his grace.” His instructs his counterpart. While he may be weaker in terms of power, Raphael has to give him credit, he is a better healer.  

             “It’s okay, Zar. I’m here.” The two gently put the angel back together. He doesn’t even question why there are two of them, he just holds onto his brother, still shaking.

              “She said you’d come.” Amara steps out of the shadows. “I said it was stupid, but she said that didn’t matter, you’d come anyways if he was hurt enough. She didn’t say there were two of you, though.”

              “Didn’t she?” They both reply, staying close to each other.

              “No, this is very confusing. Though obviously I can’t have two of you running around fixing things this damaged. One would have been bad enough.” She raises her hand to them.

               “Then I’ll have to even the playing feild.” The strange, human loving Raphael, hands his blade to the nightingale’s husband, “Give my regards to my little brother.” He stands up. “Let them go and I’ll stay with you willingly. A healer on your side will be far more useful than no healer on either side.”

                “This is a trick.” She looks at him, suspiciously.

                “You’re free to kill me at any time, but I am a creatures who loves and preserves light and I know better than anyone that though there is darkness, life remains.” Raphael spreads his hands wide. “Besides, which would hurt my father more? Our deaths or one more of his children, choosing to stand by your side?” 

                 “You have a point.” She considers. “Very well, you, go back to your father and tell him that slowly but surely I will possess all that belongs to him or destroy it.” The Raphael’s look at each other for a brief moment before the other nods and leaves, taking the angel with him. “So, do I have a son now?” She smiles at him. “Shall I make you a matched set with my daughter? You can be free of this weak and breakable form, free of your flaws. Free of pain.”

                 “I like who I am, Aunt Amara.” Raphael replies gently. “And these bodies have their charms. Or haven’t you realized it yet?”

                 “What, this?” She looks down at her body. “It’s just what I need to move around in this place, as I recover from my imprisonment. Why are you so fond of this?” Amara reaches out to place a hand on his chest. “That you wouldn’t change it, even a little. Look at this.” she traces the intricate marbles web of scars on his arm with her other hand. “Doesn’t this hurt you? Bind you? Cause you pain?”

                  “It did, yes. I haded it at first. Being trapped in this for me, tortured, starved, but this body allowed me to see how wonderful.. how wonderful people could truly be. And i grew fond of it. These scars.. which I considered a curse, turned out to be a blessing. These scars allowed me to keep this body when otherwise it would have been lost when I got back my grace.” He looks down at his arm. “I like me as I am, Aunt Amara.”

                  “You still haven’t explained anything. I should have just killed you both.” Amara doesn’t sound as if she believes it. “But despite it all my daugher is fond of you. Of one of you at least. All she wishes to do is free you of the cruel tyranny your father has stifled you with.”

                 “Well, I don’t understand that. Micromanaging isn’t exactly one of his faults. “ Raphael rolls his eyes at the assertion.

                 “I should just kill you.” She looks at his arm some more. “I have Michael. I don’t care what gets destroyed really. Most of it has to go anyhow. Why did I agree to this?” She sighs.

                  “Because you’re lonely. To hurt Him. Both. Because you’re in pain and angry and broken hearted and want to be healed. And I heal things. I can make you feel better” He places his hand over hers, gently stroking it with a light feather touch that gives her goosebumps.

                  “You want to ease my pain.” She scoffs, though she doesn’t take her hand away, or stop him from touching it. 

                  “Not particularly, no, but I will, because that’s who I am. It’s what I was made for.” 

  
  


                 “Where’s Raphael?” Michael demands as soon as they return.

                 “With Amara.” Raphael looks down at the angel in his arms, who looks both frightened and confused. 

                 “What?” Gabriel quickly intercepts her sister. “I’m not going to hurt him, Gabriel.” He sounds fairly insulted. “I just want to know what the fuck happened. And how he could leave my baby brother with the Darkness!”

                 “Yeah, well, Momma bear, you’re singing the bar stools so…” She pats his chest.

                 “He joined her so Balthazar and I could escape. She was considering just killing all of us. Apparently our brother was just bait for me.” The nightingale refrains from telling her husband that she told him so for all of ten seconds.

                 “I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO, DIDN’T I? DIDN’T I you reckless idiot!” She steps on Balthazar to get up to passionately kiss her husband in relief. “Listen to  me next time. She’s trickier than you, but not trickier than me.”

                  “He left this for Castiel.” Raphael says between kisses and tosses the blade to Michael.

                  “Castiel is dead.” Balthazar says bitterly, pushing himself out from underneath his apathetic older sister.

                  “Ours is. Their isn’t.” He turns his head to respond, though she keeps kissing him, if only to discomfit the others. “He’s not still a kitten is he?”

                 “Yes, Cas, your brother left you something.” Dean pulls the kitten out of his pocket.”

                “What the fuck… do you think that’s funny, you cruel bastards?” Balthazar stands up angrily, looking at the black kitten with blue eyes and a tan collar and blue neck tie. 

               “Well, yeah, kind of.” Gabriel confesses, still standing in front of Michael, the most bizaar sight Balthazar has seen yet. 

               “Gabriel.” Michael frowns at her.

               “Fine,fine.” She sighs and snaps the Castiel back to himself. “He’s just such a cute widdle kitty.” This just gets her a dark look from her brother. Balthazar, slowly walks over to him. Castiel doesn’t say anything, he just looks guilty for some reason.

                “You are Castiel, but…” 

                “I’m sorry, Balthazar. I’m not your Castiel.”

                “If only he was.” Balthazar laughs. “I’d follow you anywhere, you know that, right?”

                “Yes. You’re a good angel, and deserved better.” It’s kind of sad how neither of them is actually talking to each other, and they’re both okay with that.

                “I loved you.”

                “I loved you, too, brother.”

                “No,” Balthazar grabs his trench coat and pulls him into a kiss, that is neither resisted or taken part in. “I loved you.”

                “I know.”

                “I need a damn drink.” the angel lets him go and heads to the bar. Dean, with great effort, just holds his tongue. 

                 “Castiel.” Michael pushes Gabriel aside and reluctantly hands the blade to the younger angel. “As soon as we retrieve him, you will return it to him immediately,” Michael says firmly, not letting go of it. Castiel just nods and looks at it solemnly. ‘What was he thinking?”

                  “Where there’s life, there’s hope.” Raphael says quietly.

                  “That’s absurdly optimistic for him.” Gabriel frowns. “I know he’s not actually defecting so what does he think he can do? He’s a horrible liar. I don’t see how much help being tortured or twisted by Amara can be.”

                  “He can seduce her.” Raphael’s response makes Gabriel burst out laughing. Not a few of the others seems to agree with her assessment. He can’t help but feel a little offended at this.

                 “Nothing against you, but our Raphael? I don’t think so.” She shakes her head, still laughing at the idea.

                 “You poor deprived creature.” Bree grins, resting her head against her husband’s chest. “I bet you’re darling Sammy’s the best you’ve had. Well, he’s okay, but he doesn’t really compare.”  The look on Gabriel’s face at this is outright disgusted. Sam just looks embarrassed.

                   “Yeah, I think incest is the sin I’m going stay away from, thanks.” She wrinkles her nose.

                   “The only one.” Dean comments.

                   “Well, I had to leave one for my big sister, didn’t I?” She blows Michael a kiss. He just looks away, his cheeks slightly red. “Aw, still so shy.”

                   “What in the bloody hell is going on?” Balthazar slams the whiskey bottle down on the counter. 

                    “Jesus, this is going to take a while.” Gabriel covers her eyes. “Let me pause things for a bit and we’ll all catch everybody up.”

                     “What about our father and Helel?” Bree asks. “I don’t want to keep going over this crap.”

                     “You know dad knows. He’ll fill in Helel.” Gabriel snaps her fingers and pauses time.

                     “How the hell did you do that?” Bree exclaims.

                     “Dad taught me. but let’s focus.”

                     “He wh..”Bree’s cut off by her husband’s hand over her mouth.

                     “Not now, darling.” He kisses her cheek. “Continue.”

                     “Helel!” The angel looks up as he hears his name being frantically called from the direction of heaven.

                      “Nathaniel? I’m here.” He replies and the angel is immediately at his feet. “What’s wrong?”

                      “She took him! She took Hara!” Nathaniel grabs him in a panic. “Her light was just.. it was just gone. How could you do this to him? How could you make him a target like that? You should have just sent him back to his library where he belongs!”

                       “Nathaniel.” Helel snaps. “What are you talking about? Who took Harahel?”

                        “Michael. she came when Harahel was reading your message to the last batch and had him read it and then took him and the garden. Brother, what’s happened to her? Her light is gone. She joined the darkness. You have to come back and lead us. You have to save him! You have to… to tell us what to do!”

                        “Dad…” Helel turns to Chuck who’s sadly looking at the distraught angel. “She doesn’t know what she’s doing. You know she doesn’t.” Nathaniel looks over to the short curly haired man.

                         “F-father,” The angel looks confused. Chuck gives a sad smile and nods.  “Oh, father, please You have to save Harahel. He’s so weak and helpless and fragile. They’ll destroy him. Please, please.” Nathaniel falls prostrate in front of their father, humbling himself as much as he can. “I know he’s not worth very much. He’s only pretty and good with books. But he’s mine and I love him. I need him, and he needs me.”

                         “Harahel is my angel, Nathaniel.” Chuck says sternly. “Who are you to call him of little worth? Furthermore, how can you claim to love something you think has little value? Harahel is as strong resilient and capable as he needs to be.”

                          “Not nearly as much as Michael!” Nathaniel protests.

                          “You think Michael is strong, but she was weak enough to be taken by the darkness. You think she’s resilient but she broke.  You consider her one of the most capable angels you know and yet she has failed repeatedly. Sometimes through little fault of her own, but still, she failed. By what do you measure Harahel who was resilient enough to keep standing in his disgrace, strong enough to accept without complaint the consequences of his mistakes and capable enough that the library is the smoothest most efficiently running part of all of heaven.”

                             “He.. he threw his sword away. After he almost killed castiel in a training accident. He’s a soldier who can’t fight. He’s too afraid to train because he doesn’t want to hurt his brothers again. Everyone knows he’s not what he should be, even he does. I try to tell him that it’s enough that his wings are as lovely as mine, but he doesn’t believe me.” Nathaniel stammers, trying to think of what to say.  “No one loves Harahel more than me.”

                             “I do.” Chuck says firmly. “Harahel is where he needs to be. If you disagree you are free to go try to rescue him. After all with no librarian what need is there for his courier.”

                             “Yes, sir.” Nathaniel looks abashed and slowly gets to his feet. “Welcome back, sir.”

                             “Return to your duties, Nathaniel. “The angle obliges.

                             “Dad, Nathaniel is Harahel’s closest friend. He’s always protected him, helped him, looked out for him, kept him safe.” Helel informs his father not contradicting him until Nathaniel’s gone.

                             “He has kept him isolated and weak in his eyes and the eyes of others so as to seem greater by comparison. Nathaniel considers him at best a pet, a lesser being to be coddled and taken care of as a credit to himself. As disappointingly did you until recently, when you glimpsed his true strength. “Chuck puts an arm around his son’s shoulder. “Nathaniel sees it all the time, and yet doesn’t notice it. You always were the best at hearing all my songs. You should have listened to his a little longer, that’s all.” Chuck pinches Helel’s cheek. “Come on, we should go back. I have to speak with your counterparts.”

                           “You’re right. And the children need us.” Helel is torn between worry for his little study buddy, and the desire to never be anywhere but at his father’s side with nothing else in the world but the two of them. it’s too short a trip back. And not only is there a new angel, one of Bree’s fallen, but they’re a Raphael short.

                           “We have a problem.” The other scruffy Dean in his mother’s outfit announces. “Your Mikey’s gone batshit.” Their Michael looks annoyed at this. The sheriff seems to have given up and is drinking whiskey from the bottle with the fallen angel. Helel immediately looks for his Mule, who’s sitting in the corner almost asleep. He’s tempted to wake him with a kiss, but he’s not sure he should in front of his father.

                           “Go on.” Chuck nudges Helel forwards. 

                           “Are you listening?” Dean demands. There’s a muttered curse of disbelief from the sheriff.

                            “Yes. I know, this is not a good development. Michael is stronger than all of you just as my sister is stronger than I am, and they won’t hold back. It’s very likely Amara will win this fight. If she does, I don’t want her to take your world as well. But neither do I wish to leave it unprotected from it’s own threats. So as soon as the five of you return to your universe, I will repair the tear between us. It will at least give your universe several thousand years before she can make her way to it otherwise.”

                             “Six of us.” Michael stands up. “There are six of us. Me, Sam, Dean, Castiel, Gabriel, and Raphael. I am not leaving my little brother behind.” 

                             “Yeah, no, we’re all staying for this fight.” Dean sets his jaw. “Except you, Sam, you need to go back to your daughter. We’ll take care of this.”

                             “And what,leave you here to die?”

                             “Thanks, Sammy. Your confidence gives me strength.”

                             “Dean, every time we try to do these things without each other it never goes right. I’m going to stay and I’m going to fight, for you and for Michele because she may very well be around in those several thousand years when the darkness reaches our universe and if that happens, it sure as hell won’t be because we didn’t do everything we could to stop it here. Raphael will feel the same way I do, so yes, we’re all staying and we’re all fighting to contain the darkness.”

                              “So, really, there’s no point in waiting, Dad. Just seal it up now.” Gabriel takes a breath. “Luci will take care of our little song, and Abigail as well.”

                     “You’re okay leaving your daughter with the damn devil.” Dean looks at Sam, astonished.

                     “No, but he loves her and I know he’ll do his best for her.” Sam clenches his teeth, wavering slightly. “If Raphael can trust him with his child so can I.”

                      “Very well.” Chuck nods. “It’s done.”


	49. Domestic Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci and Alex return to the shelter with the girls.  
> Things don't go well.

          The children are finally asleep. Alex is starting to regret leaving the abyss. There was more space, less to worry about Shelly getting into. And it didn’t matter that every atom in her body felt like a lead weight and every hour looked the same and every hour to come as well. Because it just didn’t. But here, every dirty dish, every piece of trash is just one more weight piled on top of her.

          “Here, I thought you could use a drink.” Luci hands her a hot mug.

          “If it’s the kind I could use, I can’t have it. I’m nursing.” Alex forces a smile and looks down at it.

           “No shit, Sherlock.”

           “Fuck you, Watson.” She replies automatically, fortunately Luci seems more amused than anything else. “How are you doing?”

           “Fine. I’m just trying to find a way past my siblings without hurting them or making them derelict in their duty. Of course Michael will probably just toss me right back through.” He sighs. “Not that I could stop him as I am.”

           “You’re angling to get your grace back. I don’t have it.” Alex leans back in the chair, resting the drink on her stomach.

           “He doesn’t trust you with it?”

           “He wouldn’t endanger me with it. If I had it and could get to it, it might be too much of a temptation for you. You just tolerate me after all, like I’m some yappy little annoying dog that keeps pissing all over the carpet that your brother’s inexplicably fond of.” The comparison makes Luci laugh.

            “So you don’t know where it is?”

            “I know where it is. It’s in your room in heaven.” Alex says, though she’s not sure why. “So you’ll have to go without it if you go at all.”

            “I see.” From the look on Luci’s face the wheels are turning and he’s growing increasingly more and more frustrated.“Damn,” Luci mutters and grabs the drink back from her.

            “You know, you don’t want to break parole or hurt things with your siblings, but intent matters.” Alex reminds her.

            “I’m the devil, Alex. I don’t get the benefit of the doubt.” He scowls looking away.

            “Yeah. I’m going to go to bed.” Alex tries to make herself get to her feet but she can’t quite do it yet.

            “You don’t want to take a shower?” comes the pointed suggestion.

            “I need one?” Luci just looks up at her hair, stringy greasy mess. so, yeah. “Okay.” It’s just as much effort to drag herself to the shower as to the bed so she does, turning on a little music as she does so just for some more noise, maybe some energy. It doesn’t really work. As soon as the water starts to hit her head and roll down her face, she starts to cry and she’s not entirely sure why.

 

            Luci paces the room, trying to think. As much as he hates to admit it, Michael is right. He might be nothing more than a liability against he darkness without his grace. Not that he was much help with it. He was absolutely helpless, all he could do was watch as she took hold of his father and… the memory strikes through him like lightening, though it’s not until he comes to on the floor that he realizes he’s had another seizure. For the first time in over a year, he’s had a damn psychogenic nonepileptic seizure.

            He’s both relieved and a little hurt that Alex didn’t come to check on him. She’s still in the shower. Is there even any hot water left? Luci checks the clock, no probably not. Is she alright? There’s music playing so he doesn’t bother knocking. Alex is just sitting hunched up in the tub, sobbing and shivering as the cold water hits her. 

            “Oh for Dad’s sake.” Luci sighs, and turns off the water and music. “Come on,” He tosses a towel over her and rubs her back.

            “I’m sorry. She sobs. “I don’t know what’s wrong. I just… what was I thinking? I can’t do this. I can’t be a mom. What do I know about being a parent? I was raised by vampires for God’s sake! I can’t…” Luci just sighs and let’s Alex lean into his shoulder and cry.

            “Then don’t. Take her to a church drop her off. They let you do that now?” The glare Alex gives her is exactly what he’s going for. “Or throw her out the window.”

           “That’s not funny. I thought about it.” Alex’s voice trembles. “Just.. what ifs you know. She wasn’t crying or anything I just looked at the window and thought about tossing her out onto the pavement. Or taking her to her doctor’s appointment and excusing myself to the bathroom while he’s examining her and just leaving. And I don’t know why, because I love her and  and I want her and I don’t ever want her to go away but then I just do. He said he’d be here, taking care of us and now he’s gone and I’m all alone and he might not come back.”

             “Alex, Raphael is going to come back to you if I have to go drag him from the other abyss myself. So don’t worry about that.” He reassures her, “Rise off, I’ll bring you some clothes and put you to bed. If you feel like killing things, just let me know. I won’t judge.”

              “Okay.” Alex rubs her eyes and her nose with the towel. “I’m sorry. You’re having to take care of me again. I’m sorry.” 

              “You should be.” He ruffles her hair a little as he stands up and heads into the bedroom.

 

              “You… you wanted to see me?” Harahel looks around the apartment. She doesn’t know why she came. Krissy told her not to and refused to let her use her body if she insisted on doing it. Of course she assumed Saul would say no, too. But nobody else is around right now who could help Luci, or would… of course that’s not exactly something that indicates she should.

               “Yes, actually, I need you to do something for me.” Luci rips a peice of paper out of a notebook and stands up. “Alex is suffering from some fairly severe postpartum depression, maybe even leading into postpartum psychosis. But I can’t exactly take her to the hospital because it’ll separate her from Abigail who’s nursing and it would probably get child services involved if she actually starts talking about any of this. That would just be a huge pain in the ass as legally, I’m not even twenty.”

                “Oh, that’s awful.” Harahel doesn’t even question it, the poor little thing. Granted he’s being honest, but it’s just so frigging tempting to try and manipulate her into getting his grace for him. “That seems to happen a lot these days. Anuviel thinks it’s because of food additives and the cocktail effect, Zuri thinks it’s because of all the noise in cities, but Miti thinks that the fact that new mothers are expected to do it all isolated and alone that’s the biggest factor. “

                “Yes, well, whatever the cause, I need a short term solution until I can address those things. What I need from you is to find a magical remedy that’s safe for breastfeeding mothers. Ask whoever you need for help. Tell anyone whatever they want to know, just the sooner the better, okay?” 

                “Okay.” Harahel nods and takes the paper. “Okay, I’ll be back soon.” She puts it down and returns to heaven. She actually knows just the thShe’d looked it up for Krissy when she was pregnant. She might even actually have some left in her vault.

                “Harahel. What are you doing?” Nathan asks as she goes to the library to get the key and the recipe. 

                “Alex is suffering postpartum depression so I’m getting Luci something to help her with.” She explains.”If you’ll excuse me, I have to go.”

                “Wait!” Nathan takes hold of her arm. “ I know Gabriel ended your parole when she came back from purgatory. So I have no authority here, but are you sure this is a good idea?”

                “What do you mean?”

                “Lucifer has asked you to do something for him. Lucifer. All the archangels are gone and Lucifer has asked you to do something.” Nathan holds her arms and looks her in the eyes. “Has this in all our experiences been a good thing? Or a very bad one?”

                 “He’s just taking care of Raphael’s girlfriend and daughter. Besides if Raphael and Sam both trust him with their daughters, why should I doubt him? And his name is just Luci now.” Hara replies. “If you’re concerned come and see Alex and Luci with me. There’s not really anything in this treatment that he can do bad things with.”

                 “Don’t give him the recipe. I’ll have it made and give Alex a dose at a time. I’ll have Luthiel monitor her symptoms. But I won’t go with you because you’re needed here. I will speak to him myself.”

                 “Just so long as someone take care of Alex.” Harahel hands him the copy.

                 “We will. Now, Raziel is looking for you. He needs some help finding a few things.”  

                 “Thank you Nathan.”

                 “Sure. Hara, you didn’t do or give him anything else, did you?”

                 “No, he hasn’t asked me for anything else.”

                 “Okay.” Nathaniel pats his sister’s head and returns to earth.  Lucifer is in Alex’s kitchen with a recipe taped to the cupboard, and Shelly standing on a stool next to him. “Lucifer, I would speak with you. “ He steels himself. Human or not, he knows what his brother is capable of.

                  “Speak away.” Luci doesn’t turn and look. 

                  “What’s the next thing?” Shelly asks.

                  “Salt, just a spoonful.” Luci hands her the teaspoon.

                  “Pour it or scoop it.”

                  “It makes a miss when you pour, scoop it.” Luci instructs.

                  “Okay.”

                  “I want you to stay away from Harahel. She’s a good angel and I will not have you corrupting her.”

                  “Is she in trouble?” Luci stops and looks back at the astonished angel, taken off guard by the question. 

                  “No, not yet.” He says carefully.

                  “Give her my apologies, then. She’s simply the only angel left willing to give me the benefit of the doubt, and I didn’t want to leave Alex. I’ll find some other way to treat her.”

                  “Uncle Helel, I mean. Luci.” Shelly tugs on his arm.

                  “It’s okay, kid, call me whatever you want.” He sighs and looks down at her. “What do you need?”

                  “What’s next?”

                  “Eggs, two of them.”

                  “Okay, eggs.” Shelly turns and tosses two eggs into the bowl.

                  “Actually I think we need to remove the shells first.” He reaches in to take them back out, but they’re already broken.

                   “But it’s a gookey mess inside.” Shelly protects. “Besides the shell has calcium we just have to smash it up really really teeny tiny.” Shelly insists. Luci looks to the recipe again it doesn’t say to remove the shells, but it doesn’t say to crush them finely either.  “We can use the blender.” She hops down and goes over to the cabinet.

                   “That might work.”

                   “You… you don’t eat the shells. You always remove the shells.” Nathan isn’t quite sure they’re not just screwing with him, but just in case… “What are you making?”

                   “Zucchini carrot bread with walnuts and whey powder. I want something easy for her to nibble on and sweet enough to stimulate her appetite.” Luci points to the recipe. “I’d just order crap for delivery, but my neice will get it too, so cooking healthy things is probably the best option.”

                   “Sure provided you know how to cook.”

                   “It’s just a recipe. If I can cast a spell I can cook zucchini bread.” Luci replies testily. “If they don’t provide complete instruction that’s not fault.” There’s a knock on the door. “Finally!” He goes towards the door. “Do you know the unwritten rules of cooking that they don’t put in the instructions?” Luci demands opening the door. “What the hell are you doing here?”

                    “Your brother asked me to come and help you out a little.” Jeff crosses his arms. “Good to see you too, Luci.”

                    “Oh bite me. How did you get in?”

                    “Michael gave me his keys. And yes, I can cook.” He informs Luci not a little smugly.

                    “Sir, I would advise you to leave this place. It would be best for you not to get involved with… her.” Nathan warns him.

                    “Yeah, she’s the devil, I know. What is she doing?” Jeff points to Shelly who’s pouring the contents of the mixing bowl into the blender.

                    “It’s okay, I got this.” The three year old reassures him with complete confidence.

                    “Shelly, don’t..” Luci turns just in time to get splattered with egg sugar and butter when Shelly pushes the button. “Forget the cover.” The shriek Shelly let out at the explosion of food wakes up Abigail, who starts to cry.

                   “Sorry.” The little demon gives a laughing but sheepish smile. And of course one of his younger brothers would be here to bear witness to this disaster. If he kills him, he won’t be able to tell anyone about this, but that would only make things messier so Luci just reaches for a towel to wipe his face off. Alex doesn’t seem to be able to comfort Abigail for some reason so he takes off his messy shirt and heads into the bedroom. Alex is just looking helpless at the crying baby, not really moving, or even trying to comfort her.

                  “Oh for… Alright. It’s okay, Abigail, Uncle Luci is here.” He carefuly picks the baby up and puts her to his shoulder.

                  “I’m sorry. I just…” Alex covers her face with her hands.

                  “It’s okay. That’s why I’m here.” Luci pats  Alex’s head and walks Abigail around the room, patting her back as they go, gently shushing her.

                  “I can do it!” Shelly comes in and reaches up for the baby.

                  “You’re too messy. Go get cleaned up and you can come back and help me sing her to sleep.”

                  “Okay!”Shelly runs out and over to Luyci’s apartment. Fortunately a soft rendition of True Colors comforts the little girl fairly quickly.

                  “What the hell…” He hears, Jody open the door. Finally. “Who are you?”

                  “Hi. I’m Jeff, I’m Michael’s friend. He asked me to take care of Luci while he’s gone. This is... I have no idea who this is. Who are you?”

                  “My name is Nathan. I’m one of heaven’s guards.”

                  “Here to keep an eye on the devil, too?” Is the dry reply.

                  “Good, you’re here. I need a break.” Luci walks out and hands Abigail to her grandmother as soon as Sheriff  Mills gets her jacket off. “Alex is a PPD wreck and Raphael has assigned Shelly to guard his daughter while he’s away, a guardian angel in training I guess. So she’ll be back shortly.”

                  “Okay, okay. It’s okay, Grandma’s here.” Jody soothes the baby who starts to fuss again at being moved from Luci’s arms. “I suppose there’s no point in asking if you’re going to clean this place up at all before you go?” 

                  “Not really, no.” Luci picks up his dirty shirt and heads to the door. “Michelle, I need a nap. Go help Sheriff Mills take care of the baby.” He points back to them.

                   “Okay!” The toddler runs over excitedly. “We’re making zucchini bread!”

                   “So I see.” Jody comments on the shredded zucchinni spattered about. the room.

                   “Um...” Is all Jeff gets out before Luci retreats to her apartment, locks the door behind her and makes a bee line for the bed. Why are small children so exhausting?

                   “Lucifer.” Nathan appears. “We will take care of Raphael’s family. And Michelle as well. Stay away from them and out of trouble and you should be left alone.”

                   “Do what you want, just remember not to let Shelly take off her bracelets. And don’t think you can keep me away from my neices if I want to be there, especially if their parents want me to be.” Luci reaches for Michael’s pillow and drags it down with his fingertips. “Now unless you have something helpful to say or do, get out of my room before I banish you.” There’s a flutter of wings and Luci’s alone again.

                   “Did you forget I have the keys?” Jeff walks over to the bedroom door.

                   “Did you forget I’m the devil?”

                   “I’m just here because Michael asked me to be. I’d have thought that one of you would have learned to cook by now, but it certainly wasn’t you.”

                   “It wasn’t Michael either, but I do alright.” He lies, burying his eyes in the pillow. “What do you want? I assume you’re here at my door for a reason?”

                  “Yeah, so you know that thing your brother and in laws went through to do whatever they’re doing?” Jeff rubs the back of his neck. “To go to the mirrorverse?”

                  “Yes?” The annoyance in Luci’s voice makes Jeff pause, if only briefly. 

                   “Well, it’s gone, apparently.”

                   “Gone?” Luci looks up at him.

                   “Yeah, it’s closed up, gone. Nathan said not to tell you but they think you did it somehow. He said so to get me to leave, but I know you wouldn’t do that to Michael.”

                    “The person they’re remembering absolutely would have.” Luci sighs. “If he couldn’t kill them outright. So they’re not being unreasonable. If you’ll excuse me, I need to get some sleep. I’m exhausted. Don’t wipe anything off the walls, okay?”

                    “Sure. When you wake up I’m teaching you to cook, so prepare yourself.” Jeff points at him and heads out to the living room.

                    “Stay out of Michael’s chair or I’ll stab you.” Luci calls and plops back down. So he’s stuck here regardless, and his siblings think that not only are the archangels not coming back, but that Luci somehow engineered this, the idiots.  This will not end well. But at least he can get some sleep first.


	50. Battle Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone prepares for the upcoming fight

            "Hey, old people, mind sharing with the class?" Gabriel waves to Dean and Michael as they argue over the map. "Chuck is in the corner watching them thoughtfully as Helel writes down a list of names and fighting styles with Castiel and Balthazar on the other side. 

            "The problem is that Psycho Mike could be at any one of these locations and we have no way of knowing until he gets there and smites the place."

            "I thought you needed all of heaven to do a smiting." Sam frowns. "Would they do that?"

            "Ha, no." Gabriel laughs. "You need all of heaven to do a 'Precision' smiting. If you don't care about collateral damage at all, Miqa just needs to let go." Gabriel corrects him. They all look to Michael who gives a reluctant nod.

            "And I'm not a match in terms of raw power anymore. Even so it wouldn't decrease the destruction. "Michael admits.

            "We'll have to keep him someplace he doesn't want destroyed then, so he doesn't just let go." Dean points to the circle in the middle east near the Arabian peninsula. "The Garden of Eden. We can let the angels take care of the fallen angels."

            "I don't think the daughter of darkness is planning on visiting each city, personally, though." Michael frowns. "That's far too inefficient even if there's little way to take out each city with just one angel. And it would leave the garden vulnerable."

            "So what do you think? That she's turned them into suicide bombers or something?" Bree asks. "That's what I'd do."

            "That's also what I would do if I lacked any morals or conscience what so ever. It is the tactically best option with such limited and unreliable forces." Michael admits reluctantly.

            "How though? They're not exactly the most loyal, self sacrificing bunch of angels." Raphael keeps his arms around his wife, partly to keep her close and partly to keep her from bothering anyone else.

            "Yes, well, given the option of doing what she says without question and ending up like me,it's kind of an easy option." Balthazar raises his bottle. "Especially if she didn't tell them what would happen. If I recall, actually, she very clearly did not tell them even a little of what would happen after rounding up the kiddies."

            "But still, how? A exploding angel only does so much damage and usually just to the vessel. Even without the vessel it wouldn't raze the city." Bree frowns trying to think. "I don't exactly have any explotions in Sheol."

            "You have souls." Castiel says quietly.

            "Had souls. I'm fairly certain Aunty's already devoured them all."

            "In case she didn't take them all, how do we disarm a soul bomb in every major city at the same time, though?" The sheriff asks moving close.

            "I don't think we have time to find out. have you seen this?" Mule holds up his phone. It's blowing up with Amber alerts and when he turns on a clip from the radio they hear reports of children disappearing all under the age of seven, from all around the globe.

            "We'll just have to make sure we can at least contain them, then." Helel says gravely.

            "I don't think he'd leave it to them to trigger themselves, though. There'll have to be some kind of trigger, a signal, maybe?" Sam adds.

            "Like one of those cell phone triggers. If we had a celestial signal blocker, we could keep them from going off that way. Cutting off communication will also help if they're waiting for an order instead." Mule looks to Helel who smiles and nods.

            "For the entire globe? Blocking Michael voice?" Bree raises her eyebrow at this. " Any other angel, sure, but she's loud as hell. I could maybe block like a hemisphere, but that's it, and dad only knows how long."

            "Not long." Chuck finally contributes something to the discussion.

            "It would be easier to just go silence her in person." Bree continues, to emphasize the futility of it.

            "Alright, then, if that's what we have to do." Gabriel sighs.

            "No! No, that isn't what we have to do. It's fucking impossible! Were you even listening?"

            "Well, not going all by ourselves, no, but..."

            "But fuck that! No. I'm not going near her. Are you insane? Do you remember what she did to you? And that was with her restraining herself." Bree reminds her completely insane counterpart. Does she have no sense of self preservation?

            "Even if we do keep them from going off when they're supposed to, we'll have to disarm them or something." Mary ignores the bickering Gabriel's. "Or at least take the punch out of them. Is there any way to extract the souls?" This question elicits a surprisingly identical recalcitrant expression from both Michael and Gabriel and they exchange a glance.

             "Raphael? You'd better call her." Gabriel sighs.

             "Call who and Why me?"

             "Azrael of course and I'm assuming you two still had a thing is this thread?"

             "No, we did not." He replies too testily to be believed.

             "They each had a little bit of a crush." Helel says, earning him a dark look from his little brother. 

             "Fine." Raphael tightens his lips.  "But you behave." He looks down at his wife who just gives him an innocent slightly offended look, putting her hand to her chest. "Yes, you. I mean it. This is important. Besides, just remember if they blow up the cities, they blow up all the good clubs and drug labs with it."

             "Fine! Fine... Geez, I'll be good." Bree rolls her eyes.

            "Thank you." He gives her a kiss that she turns into a bigger more passionate kiss.

            "I am never going to get used to that." Dean shakes his head.

            "Tell me about it." Gabriel wrinkles her nose.

            "I don't know. I think they make a cute couple." Sam just smiles at his wife when she gives him an absolutely horrified look.

            "Not funny, Sam."

            "It is better than having to listen to the two of you arguing all the time." Michael has to add his two cents of course.

            "Oh, I know you of all people did not just say that." Gabriel puts her hands on her hips. "Besides our little tiffs aren't nearly bad enough to justify a solution that extreme." Michael just gives her a small smile. "You asshole."

            "It;'s just so rare to find something that bothers you like that." He walks over and gives her a kiss on the forehead.

            "Still an asshole, Miqa, and no, I haven't been able to get through to our Raphi yet." She leans into him slightly, not quite asking for a hug, but he gives her one anyways. "I'm sure he'll be okay. If not, we'll get him."

            "I know." Michael gives her a squeeze and just works on not letting his intense worry leak through.

 

            “This is the wrong one.” Pashoresa says flatly as she returns to sheol to fetch the darkness to the garden.

            “Well, the other one’s still alive so we can get him for you.” Amara sighs, just enjoying the gentle massage. “I think I’ll keep this one then if you don’t want him. At least as long as I have this body. Did you know what they can do?”

            “Theoretically.” Michael responds. “That sort of thing doesn’t really interest me. The garden is ready would you care to see it?” She offers Amara her arm.

            “If you wish me to.” She smiles and lets her daughter lead them to it.

            “It’s set to Eden.” Pashoresa opens the gates and leads Amara through, letting Raphael lag behind. “He made it for Adam and Eve. His ‘greatest creations’.”

             “Did he? And what use do we have for it?” Amara reaches out to brush her hands along the leaves of a bush. 

             “The children will be safe here, while we purify the world. It’s also the best place for you to study father’s creations. It will be easier to improve on them once you see their workings and exact flaws.”

              “I see one.” The leaves wither and die under her touch when she lingers for more than a few moments. They simply yellow and brown when they don’t. “Can you fix that?” She looks to Raphael who nods and coaxes it back to life and full health.

               “I was one of the first caretakers for the garden. I trained Joshua to take my place when the war started.” Raphael looks to Pashoresa. “Or am I forgetting something?”

               “Yes, Helel chose Joshua. I would have brought him with us here but he was uncooperative.”

                “You killed him?”Raphael asks softly.

                “Banished him to Heaven. Why should I kill him?” Pashoresa asks curiously.

                “So, daughter dear, why are we gathering human children again?” Amara asks kindly, in a tone similar to asking a small child why they want to put chocolate chips into the ham omelette.

                 “They’re more malleable, they learn faster, and they generally take up less space.”

                 “Oh, I see.” Amara is clearly humoring her. Raphael wonders if Michael can’t see it or is she just respectfully accepting it from an older being. Likely she doesn’t. She’s locked away so deep inside herself it’s a wonder if she can really see anything. “Any word from your father?”

                 “No. He doesn’t care. He abandoned Helel,so the rest of us have probably already been long forgotten. Perhaps this will get his attention.” She sounds mildly annoyed saying something that used to rage through Raphael’s heart like a deep wound. Michael’s light is gone; the flames that used to help cue them into the intensity of her moods are invisible, only distorting the scene behind her. “Do you have a problem?” She returns Raphael’s steady gaze.

                  “Regarding?” Raphael asks in return.

                  “I don’t know you.” Pashoresa stops and steps closer to him, “Who you are what you’ve become, but you are not my brother and I will not hesitate to destroy you if you betray us.”

                   “I’m flattered that you trust me enough that I could.” As Pashoresa just looks at him, sizing him up, Raphael considers that being a smart ass probably wasn’t the best idea with this version of Michael.

                   “Don’t worry. I’ll keep him occupied. You go play.” Amara pats the angel’s cheek. “Raphael, show me around the garden.”

                   “If my memory is correct there’s a grove of fruit trees this way.” Raphael takes her arm, himself and leads her off to the side. Pashoresa just watches them go.

                    “Your poor sister has been very ill used.” Amara comments to Raphael as they walk. “I don’t think it’s unreasonable to let her do what her heart desires while she still can.”

                    “She’ll need her heart for that.” Is his dry response.

                    “She didn’t want it. It was too broken too blinding, too flawed. I understand. We loved our little brothers and look what happened to us. If I could do the same for myself I would.” She stops and looks at him. “Do you know how much it hurts to be betrayed by one you loved and trusted the most?”

                    “No, but I do know what it is to love someone and be despised in return, pushed aside, derided, hated, devalued, ignored. I know what it’s like for the one you love best to prefer another to yourself. And I know the pain of being alone. Though likely not as well as you do.”

                     “You said you can help ease my pain.” She turns to him. “Was that a lie?”

                     “No. I’m a terrible liar, so I try not to do it. Evasion is more my style. But yes, it’s not a permanent fix, but it will help at least for a little while.” He touches a small willow sapling,making it grow into a thick tent of leafy branches, and covers the ground with thick moss. “We’re not meant to be alone.” Raphael prays that Alex will forgive him and bends over to kiss the darkness.

                    “Are you okay?” Harahel asks as Pashoresa storms back to the clearing where angels are dropping off more and more children. They huddle together, some start to cry when she appears, the molten man with dead black eyes. “It’s okay, this is Michael. She’s the strongest warrior in all of heaven. You don’t have to be afraid of her.” Harahel consoles them ad walks over to her big sister, giving the angel a painful hug. “See? But it might hurt humans so don’t come too close.” He warns them. “Michael is very hot, like the brightest star.” The children start to calm down, watching the angle hug his sister. A few repeat the word hot and the name Michael. Since they seem familiar with it, Pashoresa declines to correct them. They’ll learn her name later. “Sorry for the liberty.” Harahel apologizes quietly switching to enochian. “I didn’t want them to be upset or afraid of you.”

                   “You owe me no apology for injuring yourself.” Pashoresa snaps her fingers as Harahel pulls, away, his skin burned red, almost to blistering where it touched his sister, and heals the angel’s vessel.

                   “Thank you. Can I ask why exactly you’re bringing all these children here? If I can tell them why, it might help stay calm and relaxed. “ Harahel asks, hoping it’’s true and they can.

                    “They are to be the forbearers of humanity perfected. We will teach train and fix, each and every one of them.” Pashoresa informs him.

                   “Do… don’t they get a say in being fixed?”

                   “No.”

                   “But I do?” Harahel is almost afraid to ask.

                   “For now.  If you’re incapable of identifying your flaws then they will be identified for you. You deserve to be better than you are, completed, perfected and free of pain and sorrow. We all do.” Pashoresa looks over the group of still mildly worried children and the outright terrified mothers. “Do your best to care for them. I will bring you some helpers shortly.”

                    “ The angels who brought them can help me when they’re done, can’t they?” Hara asks, to undo the nagging feeling that these brothers and sisters he hasn’t seen in so long, may be in worse danger than these children.

                    “No. They are untrustworthy, self serving, disloyal creatures beyond redemption. They have only one use left to them.” Pashoresa vanishes leaving only a charred patch of earth behind her. Fix them? These children aren’t broken yet. They don’t need to be fixed. Will she fix them the way she fixed herself? That would be a bad idea. Maybe they aren’t perfect but who is? Who even knows what perfect really is? but what can she do against Michael and the Darkness? The children return to their little groups, gathering around the mothers who read to them. Some of the older children are reading to the others much to the amazement and rapt attention of the younger ones. So Harahel puts his hands together over his chest and prays. Their father has never spoken to any of them directly since he ordered them to love and serve humanity. Except the archangels of course, but who else could help?

                   “Father, if you could, please help me to protect these children, I don’t really know how. I can’t fight and couldn’t beat Michael even if I could. I couldn’t even hurt her. Not that I want to hurt her or anybody really, but if you could tell me what to do. How to keep these humans from being hurt or changed against their will, I’ll do it, even if it hurts…” Hara stops praying as he remembers something. A spell that will transfer all injuries or spell energy cast on another to the caster. It wouldn’t last forever, but it would give them time for something else to happen. “Alright everybody. It’s nap time.” He claps his hands, and brings up soft mats made from the grass of the nursery for them. Just one blade is big enough for two of them which was fortunate as there are alot of them. When the children lie down he sings them a brief enochian lullabye that sends them all to sleep nearly instantly. It only works on children, old enough to eat solid food and too young to be parents, which all of them are, except for a few of the nursing mothers.

                  “Sir.” One of the nearest mother’s gets up and makes her way over to him.

                  “Oh, no, don’t call me sir. I’m just Harahel. You can call me Hara for short. What’s your name?”

                  “Elaine,” She brushes her hair back. “Could you tell me what’s going on? Why are we here? Is this heaven?”

                   “No, this is the Garden of Eden. It was sort of in heaven until recently, but you’re not dead, none of you are. I’m not sure exactly what’s going on. Michael… she’s not really… she explained it but I still don’t quite understand.”

                   “Michael’s a girl?” Another mother walks up. And a nursing father.

                   “Well, no, she’s an angel, so she’s not either but our gender nuetral pronoun got co-opted to mean male way back when language started and even before then some of my siblings started to try and figure out which gender we were the most like. Michael is female because she’s strongest and fiercest and most dangerous and protective of us all like most mothers. She’s not really our mother, but she’s the closest thing we had to it. We all love her very much. But she’s…”

                    “So we’re not in danger?”

                    “Why were we taken like that? Why are there just children? What’s going on?” The questions keep coming.

                    “I don’t know, and you might be. I don’t know what she’s going to do but if it’s what she did to herself… I don’t think you want it done. And she’s not even giving you a choice.”

                    “And you’re letting her do this to our children?”

                    “What’s going to happen to my parents?” A very young mother asks. “And my sister?”

                     “I don’t know. I... I don’t think anything good. But our brother is out there, and if anyone can figure something out it’s Helel ben Sahar, Lucifer to most of you. I think I can protect you all for a while, but it will take a lot of energy.  I’m kind of a small angel and we’re not in heaven and I seem to be cut off from the host, so if you could please lend me the use of your souls, I will do what I can.”

                     “Our souls?”

                     “Yes, please.”

                     “My soul belongs to God and god alone.” One woman says piously.

                     “Oh goodness, no I didn’t mean I want to own it just to use it a little. I’m not a strong angel or the best or bravest so I can’t do it completely on my own. I need your help.”

                     “Why should we trust you? For all you know, you could be the devil herself.”

                     “Well, I’m kind of considered male, but other than that I don’t know. I’ve never had to prove who I am before. If you don’t feel comfortable I understand and I’ll still do my best to protect you. I just don’t really know how long I’ll last on my own.” Hara sighs. Maybe trying to do anything was a mistake, maybe he shouldn’t have asked this. It is asking a lot.

                      “What are you going to do to them?” One asks after a minute, he can’t see which one.

                      “Just… make myself an administrative user, basically and make sure that as long as I’m alive none of you will get hurt.”

                      “What are you doing here? Can’t you tell us what’s going on? What you know is going on? I don’t feel like risking my soul or my child’s life and well being on such vague information. 

                     “Alright.” Hara nods. “I suppose first of all I have to tell you about the darkness. I wasn’t there at the time. I hadn’t been made yet. But First there was the darkness, our  Aunt Amara, and then came the light, that’s our father, God. And the light wanted to make things but the darkness kept breaking them before he could get anything done. So he made Michael in secret and raised her and trained her and then he made Helel and then Raphael and then Gabriel while he went and started making plans to trap the darkness away so he could make what he needed to make….”

                      The women listen with rapt attention with a few questions every now and then, especially about Gabriel. But when they get to what’s happened recently, they all look slightly pale and fairly frightened.

                      “God… god is gone?” 

                      “Yes, he left a while ago. But He left us Helel to take care of us, and he has. And I know he will now, so I just need to hold on and I know that he’ll find a way to help us and if he can’t I know our Father will come back and save us.”

                      “And you can’t fight them?” Elaine asks quietly.

                      “No. I don’t even have a sword and it couldn’t hurt either of them anyhow. I’m a very poor excuse for an angel. But I can do this at least.”

                      “Alright.” One nods and so do most of the others. Though a large portion stays silent.

                      “Thank you.” Hara smiles. “I’d like to go gather food and other things you might need before the children wake. That way when I’m giving them the food I can cast my protection on them. But before I go I’d like to mark you and give you protection as well.”

                     “Alright.” Elaine hands the baby to a mother who’s one year old is on her mat, chewing on a cloth book. “I’ll go first.” Harahel puts his hand to the mother’s breastbone and recites the incantation. The soft gentle glow of his wings as he manifests them in the casting illuminates everything and makes them all feel calm as if they’re surrounded by cool soothings waters watching the sun shine through the surface. “Now, hopefully this won’t hurt you now. But it still might feel a little strange.” Hara apologizes and puts an arm around her back to support her as he gently reaches in for her soul. The protection does indeed work as he’s almost stopped by an intense pain that radiates through him. The woman seems undisturbed and he quickly completes it.

                    “Are you okay?” Elaine asks, putting her own arms around him as he looks almost as if he might fall himself.

                    “Yes. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how much having your soul touched hurts. Alright, the next person please?”

                    “Do what you need to to my soul first.” The next woman says, stopping him as he goes to cast the protection on her.

                     “No, it’s alright. I just wasn’t prepared last time. I didn’t mean to worry you.” Hara blushes.

                     “No sweetie, you’re going to take all our licks for us after this. You don’t have to take this one too." She kisses his cheek. “I won’t let you protect me unless you do it this way.”

                     “Okay. Thank you.” Hara marks her soul as quickly and carefully as he can. She winces a little. “Are you okay?” He asks when he’s done. “If it’s unbearable, be honest so other people will let me protect them first.”

                     “It’s not pleasant, like a full body toothache, but when you’re done it’s gone. So.. yeah, it’s okay. We all gave birth. We can handle this.”  The woman pats his cheek and starts to go back to lie down with her son.

                    “Hold on.” A younger woman stops her, and punches her in the face. Hara feels his lip split open and he puts his hand up to it. There’s a brief bit of blood running down his face before it heals.

                    “What the fuck!” the woman exclaims and shoves the younger one.

                    “I just wanted to make sure it worked like he said it did. Okay. I’m in, now. Do the soul thing first since I sort of split your lip.” She steps up to Hara who obliges. No one holds back.                    


	51. Into The Fray

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our heroes prepare for battle  
> Raphael reaches his limit  
> The opponents meet on the battlefield.

        “Alright, so the angels and reapers are in place.” Mary leans on the table. “If somebody could give me back my adult body?” She glares at Gabriel who gives a sheepish grin and gives her about ten years.

         “There. To make up for the inconvenience.” She winks.

         “Dealing with periods and having to go through menopause again doesn’t make up for anything.”

          “Well, I mean, you might die today so you won’t have to worry about any of that.”

          “Oh, Mary, I seem to have this for some reason.” Helel takes out Bree’s blade and hands it back to Mary.

          “Excuse me! That’s mine!” The nightingale protests. Helel just looks at her, not saying anything, until Bree’s sister looks away.

           “Alright does everyone know what they’re doing?” Dean looks around the room.

           “Yes. We humans the little angels will work on getting the kiddies out of the garden.” The sheriff looks at his counterpart. “The Gabriels, Helel and the devil’s consort will protect us from my Michael and God and your Michael will do whatever the two of you have decided to do about Amara. I think it’s fairly clear.”

            “You should stay with Jo.” Mary turns to her son. “You know what might have to happen. You don’t have to do this.” She puts a hand on his face. 

            “No, I’m...I’m alright. Whatever happens, I want to be there. Thanks though. Besides we might need to pull him there. If so, you’ll need me. “

            “You’ll have what protection I can give you.” Chuck informs them. “Raphael will still be able to heal you as will I. If everyone would like a moment to say their goodbyes.”

            “I already did.” The sheriff says quietly. Mary rubs his arm.

            “Dean.” Mule turns to his brother. “Stay here. We can handle this.”

            “Sam…”

            “I don’t want the twins grow up without a father.”

            “Well, I want them to grow up.” The sheriff takes a breath. “I’m sorry, Sam. I know I’m hard on you but you’re my brother and no matter what else I may think or feel. I love you.”

            “Love you, too, Dean.” They give an awkward hug that Gabriel rolls her eyes at. The one with the hands clasped in between them and a few manly pats on the back. “Can I have a moment with mom?” 

             “Sure.” The sheriff moves away as they go to the side, but not too far away.

             “Mom, I just…” Mule looks down at his hands. “I wanted to say I’m sorry. I never appreciated anything you did for us. For me. What you sacrificed so we could have what we had. I idolized and chased after my father’s memory and just… completely took you for granted.”

             “Well, if you could take me for granted, then I was doing something right, wasn’t I, Sam-a-lam-a-ding-dong?” She pinches his cheek. Mule winces at the nickname as his brother laughs.

             “Shut up, Dean-bean.” He retorts. Gabriel starts to laugh a little, too.

             “Dean-bean and Sam-a-lam-a-ding-dong. I am so going to remember that.”

             “Not unless you want to sleep on the couch you won’t.” Sam says quickly.

             “Ah, the old lysistrata gambit. touche, darling. touche.”

             “How can you be so flippant about all of this all the time?” The sheriff finally explodes. “This is the end of the world we’re talking about! The potential end of everything!”

             “This isn’t exactly our first rodeo, sheriff.” Dean salutes him with a drink. “Probably won’t be the last either.”

             “Is that really something to be proud of? That your universe is so fucked up that you’ve had multiple world ending events? Who the hell was in charge over there?” The sheriff demands. 

             “Well, after the first one, Raphael, then Cas killed him and kied and basically it was all a big fucking mess until Sam got me out of the abyss. Oh, by the way, watch your Mule for lukemia.” Gabriel points to Helel who’s made his way over to Mule.

              “I’ve taken care of it.” The angel nods.

              “Castiel killed your Raphael? Was he already promoted to archangel then?” Raphael tightens his grip on Bree who turns to face the younger angel with a rather frightening expression.

              “No.”

              “How was that possible?” Raphael demands.

              “I’d really rather not talk about that.” Castiel says quietly looking away.

              “I would really rather you did.”

              “He swallowed purgatory. It didn’t end very well.” Michael informs him, giving Castiel his own unfriendly look. “We’re still cleaning up that mess.”

               “To be fair, Raph went into a little codependant meltdown when Michael was pulled into the cage with Luci and tried to get her out again by restarting the apocalypse. So you know he was in the wrong on that one, Miqa.” Gabriel reminds her sister.

               “And I still don’t care.” Michael replies. “Let’s go. I want my brother back.”

 

               “That’s just…. hmmmm, baby brother had some good ideas. I’ll give him that much.” Amara smiles up at the canopy as Raphael feeds her warm sun ripened raspberries. “But do you really approve of all this death and decay and pain and suffering? Haven’t you ever just wanted it all to end? To be at peace?” She reaches up to run her fingers down his scars.

               “ Yes. But I don’t now. It’s as if every pain, every struggle and failure just makes the pleasure and success that much more wonderful and satisfying. There’s the sense of accomplishment, a sense of direction, all these things are just… cues. Do this, don’t do this. Hint and puzzles to figure it all out. It’s… it’s worth it.” Raphael can’t help but smile as he thinks of Alex nursing their newborn daughter. “I can see that everything I’ve been through has value and meaning and I can always use any experience to grow and improve, even if I don’t enjoy it.”

               “You poor, brainwashed thing.” She reaches up to stroke his cheek. “Just blind faith and trust in an absent uncaring father. You’re rationalizing every thing he’s done to you because you can’t imagine he could do wrong.” Much to her surprise, this assertion makes Raphael laugh. “Why is that funny?”

               “This has nothing to do with my feelings for my father. The last time I spoke personally with him I told him to go fuck himself. I’m angry with him and hurt and doubtful and have no idea if he knows what he’s doing or if he’s just the uncaring selfish being he sometimes seems. It’s how I feel about myself and my life and my family and my existence in general. And I’ve finally reached a place I never thought I’d be, where I like myself and consider everything in my life to be worth what I went through to get it and will go through for it, what I want now is for my siblings to reach the same place and eventually everyone in existence. Now matter how long it takes to get there, or how hard.”

              “Even me?” Amara looks amused.

              “If you can achieve it without destroying everything, yes.” He snaps up some wine.

               “I had that once. That contentment, and joy and then I was betrayed. He hurt me, and for what? To make this flawed, tortured, breakable mess? Well, now I’m going to use it all to hurt him just as badly.” Amara puts a hand on his neck, “I will hurt him every single way I can. You keep holding back, why? Because of this thing you’re grateful for? They’ll only betray you, reject you, cause you pain. I can keep that from ever feeling that way.”

               “No, thank you.” Raphael carefully moves her hand away.

               “I don’t recall asking your permission this time.” She buried her hand in his chest and starts to seal his heart away. The heart he so recently unlocked and accepted agian. In a blind panic, Raphael grabs her arm and inflames every nerve in her body with as much searing pain as he can. Amara screams as Raphael manages to tear himself away and flee. But it doesn’t keep the darkness from eating into the core of his very being.

 

               Harahel looks up as Amara’s screams shake the garden. The children are all happily eating their berries and nuts and laughing at each other’s pink and purple face and hands.  The noise frightens them, not a few of them tumbling over with the moving ground. A dozen scraped knees and bruised arms and bumped funny bones make him pause slightly before finishing the kites for the older children.

               “What was that?” Elaine asks, staying close to him.

               “I don’t know. Better to just ignore it so the children don’t panic.” Hara starts to hand out the kites.

               “There’s no wind.” One of the other girls protests. “Kites need wind.”

               “When I finish handing out the kites I’ll provide the wind.” Hara hands her one. “Give me a little space please.” He could easily command the wind to blow, but he doesn’t want to waste soul power on anything that trivial. So instead he brings his wings right to the edge of the veil, close enough to affect the wind in this place but not close enough to kill them with their brilliance. Harahel spreads them wide and flies up in the air, making a steady wind.  The children chatter excitedly below him as the kites fly high into the clear sky. He looks over to the other’s and sees a figure in the distance fall down in the field of clover and berries. 

                “Excuse me. I’ll be right back.” He darts over to see his brother Raphael, or a version of him, paralyzed with pain, darkness collecting in his chest. Any version of Raphael would be better protection for the children. Either way,he can’t let him die or be harmed, not while he can do something to help him. At least, he hopes he can.

               Hara takes a breath and casts the spell of protective transferrence onto the angel. Much to his surprise it takes hold. The corruption gathers itself around Hara’s hand and tears into him, striking his very core, like a bolt of lightning. As soon as it leaves Raphael, Harahel curls into himself struggling not to scream and scare the children. 

              “Harahel?” Raphael calls to him. It’s left the flesh alone and sunk into the angel’s grace doing it’s best to bury a surprisingly resistant heart.

              “Raphael, unhand my angel!” Pashoresa descends, blade in hand. Raphael grabs Harahel and flies away as fast as he can. Unfortunately the weight of his brother slows him just enough for Michael to be able to slice through Raphael’s spine with the tip of his blade. They’re both very surprised when after the initial sensation nothing changes. It’s not until Harahel’s back bleeds through his shirt that Raphael realizes the spell is continuing to take his injuries.

                Tendrils of darkness reach out to grab Raphael and pull him back to earth. Though they race to gather in Harahel instead of him, they still manage to send him crashing back into the ground. He loses his hold on the younger angel when he lands and tumbles slightly away. Pashoresa stops as he sees the librarian lying on the ground filled with darkness, bruised and bleeding and barely clinging to life as the wrong Raphael, uninjured, unblemished,and uncorrupted should be. There’s nothing she can do for the little one, and if he’s fortifying the traitor Raphael a quick death would be both justice and a kindness. She raises her sword for the mercy kill but before she can strike the blow, she’s tackled away from him.

                  Amara walks over as Pashoresa and Raphael grapple. The small angel is getting more and more battered as he lays there.

                  “He’s stronger than I thought. I wonder how He did that.” She muses as the skin blisters from Raphael’s contact with Pashoresa’s new vessel.

                   Raphael tries to think, what can he do against the molten form of his brother? There’s a highly pressured underground spring beneath them maybe half a mile down.  Raphael lets go of Pashoresa and snaps an opening in the earth underneath her. The water bursts up in a geyser almost directly onto her. It turns to steam instantly, though Michael is too hot for water to come near without evaporating as usual. But it does create a thick steamy fog that obscured everyone’s sight and Raphael finds his little brother and flies off, putting everything he has into healing Harahel’s injuries. The flesh wounds heal easily enough, but the corruption just keeps collecting and pressing until it consolidates into the heart of him.

                 “It’s all right.” Harahel relaxes. “I don’t hurt anymore. You can put me down.” The words would be more convincing if his voice wasn’t flat and empty. But it’s true he’s not feeling any pain, though touching skin to skin makes Raphael feel oddly numb. “I have to go back to the children. You go where you want.” Harahel pushes himself out of Raphael’s arms, “Try not to get hurt.” He flies off before Raphael can stop him. In truth the way he said this sounded so annoyed. Not so much concerned for Raphael’s well being, but not overly concerned for his own. In truth it reminds him of how Lucifer spoke to him towards the end of his time in heaven, when he had to speak to him at all.

                 “That was unwise.” Amara appears freezing Raphael in place. “We were having fun. Why ruin it?”

                  “I couldn’t let you change me.” 

                  “You said you wanted to help me, to make me feel better. That was a lie, wasn’t it?” she demands. “You’re just like your father.” There’s not really anything he can say to that. It’s certainly the first time anyone’s said that of him. Of course it wouldn’t be said as a compliment.

                  “No means no, Aunt Amara. If you insist on trying to do things to me I don’t want, I’m going to try and defend myself.” he explains though he feels it’s probably as useless as trying to reason with Lucifer. the worst thing about this situation though, is that his little brother will have to die before he can even feel a thing.

                  “Amara, let my son go.” Amara turns to see her brother standing there with Michael at his side.

                  “You replaced her already. I see she really doesn’t mean anything more to you than I do.”

                 “Nothing means more to me than you.” Chuck says quietly. Amara, enraged by this statement, releases her hold on Raphael and strikes out at her brother who doesn’t put up even a ghost of a fight.

                 “I will destroy everything you love as you watch, you bastard! Starting with your firstborn and her faded copy.” She grabs his collar. Michael grabs Raphael and drags him away from the two. Amara makes no move to stop him.

                 “What are you doing? We can’t let him face her alone!”

                 “He won’t. Go help the Winchesters get the children out of the garden. When that’s done come back. I’ll probably need you.” Michael indulges in a hug. “It’s part of the plan. Trust me.” A completely unfair request, especially since he can’t say no to it. 

                  “I will, but if you get yourself killed again I’m not telling Luci.”

                  “I’ll do my best.” Michael kisses his forehead and returns to her father’s side.

                 “Oh, Michael….” Bree sings. “Come out and play-ay…” Pashoresa stops in her tracks.

                  “Have you finally come to your senses, little sister? Will you allow us to help you?” She asks listening to the sounds of the garden trying to locate the little song bird.

                  “Maybe if I thought this was an improvement.” She snorts and lights down in front him her big sister, a respectable distance away, far enough to flee if she needs to. Raphael, the right one, is by her side.

                  “Raphael.” Pashoresa greets him.

                  “Michael.” Raphael steps forwards moving protectively in front of Bree. “I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve what I did to you. I didn’t know what else to do. I thought… never mind what I thought. I’m sorry.”

                  “Are you seriously apologizing to her?” Bree punches his back. “She made my life a living torment!”

                  “Bree, you know that you provoked her, on purpose. I told you then as I tell you now, you can’t get angry at her because you succeeded in trying to piss her off and make her lose her temper. “ He gently chides her.

                   “You know, this isn’t that other Michael who’s all hugs and smiles for us. This is the Psycho violent beast who probably doesn’t even know what a therapist is.”

                   “Be quiet.” Pashoresa orders the noisy ridiculous child.

                   “Fucking make me!”

                   “Raphael,” She decides to ignore her instead. “I was wrong. Based on the ultimate goals of preserving existence and humanity, with what we knew, you did the right thing in staying with and taking care of her, doing what you had to in order to preserve her and make her a minor annoyance instead of an outright catastrophe. I should have made that your priority all along instead of trying to keep you from her in order to prevent your corruption.  And if I wanted to see you, I should have swallowed my pride and told you so. But that’s not an issue anymore so I can tell you plainly, I want you with me as we make the world what we know it can be.” Words that should be so touching just fall flat, there is no love, no emotion, just cold practicality.

                   “I still won’t leave her, Michael.” Raphael asserts. 

                   “I want Gabriel with us as well.” Pashoresa says matter of factly. Bree steps out from behind her husband, a bit curious at where this is going. “Gabriel, I behaved badly towards you. I felt guilty and angry at my own failure to act, and resented you for doing what I felt I should have. I hated you for taking Raphael away from me, for turning him against me. I let my emotions affect my judgement. I won’t now. What father did to you, to each of us, I’ll set it right.”

                    “I knew you were a controlling judgmental bitch, but I never thought you’d be this fucking arrogant.” Bree puts her hands on her hips. “How are you going to fix things you know nothing about? Humanity is fine. Humanity is fun. A little breakable sure but it’s not like there’s a shortage. Look at you,  you don’t even have a body to play with any more. How can you know anything about what needs to be changed about it? 

                   “Look,” Bree sighs. “You want to tell Dad to go fuck himself, fine, you can come live with us, we’ll teach you to party. But the darkness? She knows even less than you. Why should we do anything she wants us to do?”

                   “He betrayed her, too.”

                   “For us, einstein. He betrayed her for us, so we could live and have all of this crap.” Bree holds out her hands, exasperated beyond measure. “Yeah, he’s not perfect and seriously needs to lighten up, but he’s still our dad. He made us. We at least owe him not destroying absolutely everything he’s made.”

                    “He betrayed her for us. But he betrayed us for them. Why are you defending him? He let you take the mark that made you suffer and wharp into utter madness. She may not understand humanity, but she understands us, how we feel. To have one we loved more than anything betray us so completely. That’s why I need you both. To guide her as to what to prune what to cultivate, the workings of the world, good or bad.” Pashoresa holds out her hand to them. “Brother, sister, come with us and help us reform the world in our image.”

                    “Yeah, after she remakes us in hers.” Bree rolls her eyes.

                    “Raphael, please. She’ll go where you do. Join me and save the both of you.” This has the slightest tinge of desperation to it, the most genuine feeling she’s shown since her defection. It’s just enough to break Raphael’s heart.

                    “No, Michael.” Raphael says sadly. “We can’t just hand the world over to her. We can’t let you do this either. Not to the earth, not to humanity, and not to us.”

                     “We like it all the way it is.” Bree takes out her counterparts blade as Raphael takes out his own.

                    “You know you don’t stand a chance against me, alone or combined.” Pashoresa shakes her head. “I will kill you if you force me to. Now give me your blades and come to my side and this will be forgotten.”

                    “No.” Raphael shakes his head. Bree just flips her off.

                    “Very well.” Pashoresa draws her blade. “I am sorry it had to be this way.”

                    “So am I.” 


	52. Exodus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winchesters rescue the children  
> Bree Raphael and Helel fight Pashoresa  
> Siblings quarrel  
> Helel receives some unexpected news.

         “Damn,” Dean looks over the large gathering of children and new mothers. “That’s a lot of kids. Like, a million of them.”

         “They looks happy, and healthy,” Sam observes, “None of them seem particularly frightened, so that’s good.”

         “Who are you?” A woman walks over, a baby wrapped to her chest.

         “We’re the Bobbsey twins, we’re here to save you.” Dean gives his most charming smile. “This is our mother, Mary, and our angels, Castiel and Balthazar.”

         “Damn there are legions of them.” Balthazar whistles. 

         “Don’t curse in front of the children. What kind of angel are you?” She scolds him.

         “The fallen kind. What kind of angel are you used to that you would speak to one this way?” He demands indignantly. 

         “Hey,” She turns around and snaps her fingers towards another mother. “Where’s that angel?”

         “I don’t know, is he back yet?”

         “I think so. I think he just got back.”

         “Well, we’ll take care of him don’t you worry.” Balthazar draws his sword. “Won’t we, Cassie?” He smiles at Castiel, eager to fight at his side once more.

         “Oh, no you won’t!” The first woman grabs the blade yanking it out of the surprised angel’s hand.

         “What the hell…” He stares at her. “Did you eat from the tree of life?”

         “The what? No.” She switches hands and looks at the one she grabbed it with. It’s perfectly fine though. It’s impossible that it wasn’t cut. “ But you’re not killing him. That sweet little thing has been taking care of and protecting us so you are not going to lay one hand on him, understand?”

          “What’s going on?” An angel with a bleeding, grace exposed hand appears beside her. “Oh, you people. Is Helel with you?”

           “You people?” The sheriff frowns. “Have we met?”

           “No, Helel is with his siblings taking care of Michael so we can get all of you out of here.”

           “I suppose we’d better move quickly then.” The angel claps his hands together to get everyone’s attention. “Alright everyone, it’s time to go home. There’s not a few complaints. “You can keep the books, I didn’t give you the rare ones. Just line up and when you’re home you can have something sweet to eat.”

            “I want something sweet now!” A five year old declares. Most of the children agree.

            “You should get some more angels.” The angel looks to them and walks over to a nearby tree, picks up a book and sits down, transforming it to a different book. 

            “You’re not going to help?” Castiel frowns.

            “No.”

            “I want to stay with you.” A few of them in white robes run over to him. “Me too!” They all surround and pile onto him, hugging him tightly. He looks incredibly annoyed but he doesn’t lift a hand to them, “Hara don’t send us away.” 

             “Harahel?” Dean exclaims. “Jesus, when did you get so cold? Alright, he’s practically useless anyways so we can just go ahead with it. “Everyone gather a city and start leading them out the nearest exit.” He walks over to the first woman. “Where are you from?”

              “Trenton, and I don’t particularly feel like leaving paradise.”

              “Well, it’s a war zone now, so move it.” Dean points to one side. 

              “The nearest exit is that way.” Harahel points in a different direction entirely, not looking up.

              “Thanks.”

              “Just keep them all unharmed. I did something stupid and don’t know how to undo it yet.” He flips through the pages.

              “I think I like our Harahel better. At least she’s nice.”

              “He wasn’t like this a minute ago.” The woman frowns and follows them to the exit.”

              “Raphael!” Castiel wavers, the angel appears beside them. “There are too many children. We might not be able to get them all out in time.”

              “Gather them all together.” Raphael assesses the situation.

              “They’re grouped by city now. Will that do?” Sam shouts to him.

              “Perhaps.” Raphael considers a moment and snaps his fingers. All the mothers and children disappears leaving only a snow globe for each city in their place.  “They’ll be easier to carry this way.” He brings up a couple bags.

              “Dude, you have been spending way too much time with your sister.” Dean looks at the one that says Trenton. There’s a group of people on the beach playing in the sand.

              “I can’t escort you out, as I have to get back to help Michael. Castiel, Balthazar, holster a pair of Winchesters and and their bags and take them out of Eden. Harahel will take Mary.” Raphael turns to the angel who just ignores him. “Harahel!”

              “What? Oh, right. No. I can’t. I’m busy.” Hara shakes his head. Raphael just stares at him in utter disbelief.

              “Okay, I kind of want to see this, but on the other hand I don’t think Raphael would appreciate witnesses so..” Balthazar grabs the nearest Winchesters. “Coming Cassie?”

              “Go.” Raphael instructs them. “ I will take care of this.” Castiel does not argue.

              “I’m not leaving without my Michael.” Mary puts a hand on Raphael’s arm as he starts towards Harahel. “Understand?” She sounds as if she’s almost daring him to stop her.

               “I have long since despaired of talking sense into a Winchester. I believe they’re that way. Good luck.” Raphael nods to her and continues over to Harahel anyways. Instead of berating the angel, or punishing him in some way, he just picks him up and puts him over his shoulder. “If you won’t leave, you’ll come with me.” Harahel just adjusts his arms to continue reading.

              “Fine, just don’t get hurt.” Is the annoyed reply and they disappear.

              “You can’t run forever!” Pashoresa calls as he follows the fleeing siblings. Bree won’t leave Raphael behind so when he runs out of steam, so will she. If she could only make a circle of flames to trap them and force them up to the open sky. But without Raphael she can’t very well replace what gets lost in the fire. 

              They were smart enough to retreat almost immediately, but they’re being careless. Bree used to be so much better at hiding and evasion than this. Her feelings for her slower husband are interfering with her judgement. Once that gets locked away, they won’t have this repulsive thing binding them together. No. No, they have to die. They won’t submit, so she has to kill them. There’s no choice, but they might see reason if desperate enough. If she can convince them of the futility of defying them.

              Pashoresa stops and tries to gather herself. This shouldn’t be so difficult. She must be weakening again. They can wait. They don’t have to be killed right this moment. She should go consult Amara about this.

              “Michael.” Helel steps out of the woods. He’s still in that body she sees. It;s too bad Mule isn’t here. She would love to permanently remove that cancerous growth from Helel’s life.  “Come back to us, Mitcha.” He holds his hand out. “It’s alright. I haven’t returned to heaven and I won’t. It’s all yours, Michael. You don’t need to do this. We all love you just as much as we always have. We miss you. Please come home.”

               “Heaven is yours Helel, it always has been, as is Earth, our brothers, everything was yours but Raphael. So don’t patronize me by saying otherwise. You despise Raphael, and Gabriel has already betrayed you, tried to kill you. Why not let me have them and go home. I’ll leave you and Heaven alone if you leave me alone, but I’m taking the earth and the mess you made of it and I will fix it. But first I will take our siblings and the mess you made of them and fix them as well. Now get out of my way before I rend you to pieces.”

               “No.” His blade is out in a moment. “I’m sorry, Michael.”

               “My name is Pashoresa!” She attacks. He chose this, he has no one to blame but himself. Much to her surprise, Raphael doesn’t take the opportunity to flee with his wife but all three of them come down on her at once. Raphael is siding with Helel. And they gave Bree back her blade? Truly they all prefer anything and anyone to her, no matter what they say.

               Raphael is easily rebuffed, clearly he’s had no practice at all. Though it’s harder to keep Helel at bay. Bree is the same stinging mayfly she always was, not bothered by his touch the least bit. She goes so fast it’s as if there were two of her, but she’s predictable and after a moment’s observation, Pashoresa parries the incoming blade and grabs her by the throat.

              At that same instant, the other Gabriel claps a binding cuff on her wrist and Helel grabs his other, slipping another on. Idiots. What do they think that will accomplish? Even without use of his grace he’s still stronger and a better fighter than they are. A chain appears between the cuffs and shorts drains her wrists together in a sudden jerking motion that causes her to lose her grip on both her sister’s neck and her sword.

              “That’s enough, Michael.” Helel holds onto the cuffs. “You’re coming home.”

              “Owww.” Bree whines, rubbing her half torn out throat. “Raphhiii.” her husband quickly obliges.

              “I can’t believe that worked.” Gabriel smiles. “Hold on, let me just permanently switch off angel radio.” She reaches over to tap Pashoresa’s forhead when the bound angel grabs her arms and uses her as a club to strike the other three aside like reeds in the wind, before hurling the stranger into a tree so hard she knocks it over.

               “This is not a weak human vessel!” She yanks the bands apart snapping the chains, and lift’s Helel by both of his slender wrists in one hand, rips the blade from his hand with the other, and drives the blade through her brother’s forearms deep into the heart of the tree, pinning him to the nearest tree trunk. Helel’s feet are inches from touching the ground. Bree is pinned almost before she can get to her feet, though she has to knock Raphael out and take his blade to do it. Next is the other Gabriel, pinned to the fallen tree trunk with the Gabriel’s own blade. Though, it’s doubtful  she can get up regardless, most of the vertebrae in her vessel are broken. When she turns back, Raphael is already trying to free Helel.

                “I never thought I’d see the day when you chose Helel over me.” Pashoresa grabs him and wrenches his arm from his socket, pulling him away. “YOU CAN’T HAVE HIM!!” The anger breaks through the flatness of her affect, but none of them is certain which brother she’s referring to. For a moment, Helel is certain that she’s going to kill him, but Pashoresa pushes herself back in check, and creates metal hoops to bind Raphael to the tree.  When she turns back to Helel, instead of a killing blow, she just slices her brother’s throat, releasing his grace to the atmosphere.

               “Reconsider your position.” Pashoresa says with forced calmness, and takes off, returning to Amara’s side.

               “Why don’t you SAY ANYTHING!” Amara scream at her brother as he picks himself up off the ground. “SAY SOMETHING! DO something! Fight back!” She sends another blow of pain and darkness his way when Michael returns, raising his sword to try and sever her spine, cripple her if he can, but she catches sight of him and sends him slamming into the ground.

              “You’re quarrel is with me,” Chuck gets to his feet.

              “I know it. You brought this on them, brother. When you betrayed me for them.” She pours darkness into the archangel at her feet. “Before you die, you will hear them all curse your very name!”

              “Then he will never die.” Michael clenches his teeth and forces himself to his feet, sword in hand, and ignites the blade. “I’m sorry, Father.” He apologizes in advance for the destruction of the garden and starts to let go, pushing the darkness back with his brilliant blinding light. Before it can reach the breaking point. He’s tackled by his counterpart.

            Amara gasps and puts her hand to her chest. Hardly fatal but the brilliance was painful.

             “Actually, that works just fine. Watch them kill each other. No matter who wins, you lose,” She smiles at the brawling pair. Chuck waves his hand breaking the two Michael’s apart. “You’re right not exactly a fair fight.” Amara walks over to help her daughter up as Michael retreats to his father.

             “Are they…” He asks shakily.

             “No.” Chuck shakes his head. “I’m sending Raphael to them. Go with him, you don’t have to fight her.”

             “I won’t leave you. Helel would never forgive me.”

             “I suppose it’s not much of a fair fight.” Amara considers, placing her hand on her daughter’s chest, sealing the cracks of her heart and tears the bracelets off her wrist with her other hand. “I know you like this vessel, and I’ll give it back later if you like, but let’s make this a bit more sporting.”She kisses Pashoresa’s cheek and copies Michael’s vessel down to the last detail. “Come to me when you win. I have some things I’d like to show you.” She whispers in her daughter’s ear. “Kill Michael. He doesn’t belong here anyways.”

             “Michael.” Chuck steps in front of his child. “My Michael.” He looks to the stone faced angel. “I’m sorry. You’ve been through so much and I wasn’t there for you.” Pashoresa ignores him and attempts to step around him.

             “Ah, ah, ah, this is between them, isn’t it?” Amara puts her brother closer to her, away from Michael. “Maybe I can’t make him curse your name. Maybe you made that one a little more steadfast, treated him a little better, but you’ll fail him just the same. He will suffer and die for what you did to me.”

             “If I hadn’t done it,”Chuck says quietly, “They never could have existed in the first place.” 

 

             Helel concentrates on breathing, it helps to dull the pain, thought part of him wonders why he even bothers. His grace is gone. He’s doomed to life as a human. Helpless, useless, with all the indignities therein. But if he survives, if they win and escape it means that he can be with his Mule. And maybe, just maybe, marry and have a child. An adorable little mini-mule running around. He’ll be a great father. They both will.

             “Helel, I’m sorry.” Raphael for some mind boggling reason apologizes to him. “I couldn’t see it hidden behind your grace.”

             “Sure, Raphael. Whatever you say.”  He closes his eyes. He must have hit his head in the fight. Can angels get concussions? He’d ask Raphael but he’s obviously lost it.

             “Do you really think so little of me? That I’d take my hatred of you out on your child? You should have told me. We could have tried something else, sent you with the children….”

             “My what?” Helel opens his eyes again.

             “His WHAT?” The Gabriel’s both exclaim though one sounds more amused than anything else.

             “You didn’t know?”

             “Why the hell would I… You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

             “Helel, I can sense it’s grace firmly set inside your womb. I most certainly do know what I’m talking about! Even you can’t be so arrogant to think you know more than I do about matters of the body.”

              “Shit.” A Gabriel mutters. Helel’s not sure which one.

             “Oh, thank dad for you, Raph.” This is clearly the other Gabriel as it’s more a relieved sigh than an adoring one. “We kind of got our asses handed to us. Not entirely unexpectedly. I mean, it was Michael, even if it’s not our Michael. Who’s that?”

              “Oh be quiet for one minute.” He snaps and puts Harahel down. “Harahel, I want you to take Helel and bring him back to his Samuel. And be careful, he’s pregnant. Any harm done to the fetus will be taken out on him.”

              “I know how that is.” Harahel puts the book away, and walks over to Where Helel is pinned to the tree. “And you’re human now. You can still figure out how to dispell things, right? You’re not stupid now, are you?” Harahel tries to pull the blade out but it doesn’t move.  Helel just gives him a bewildered look, and clenches his teeth as Harahel tries a different approach. The blade becomes red hot setting the wood around it ablaze and cauterizing the holes it creates in Helel’s wrists. The sword falls from the tree with ease but tears a little when he pulls it out. Hara easily heals the gaping holes as Helel gasps in pain.

              “Hara? W-what’s wrong with you?”

              “I don’t know, but I feel alot better now, and thinking is certainly easier. C’mon, let’s go.” Hara picks him up and takes him away as Raphael tends to the others.


	53. Neccesary measures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final confrontation between God and Amara  
> Pashoresa gets brought to justice  
> The Winchesters get some second hand news

                 “Who do you think will win?  My daughter’s stronger, but yours looks like she has more experience.” Amara asks.

                 “Michael prefers to be referred to as he when he’s in a male body.” Chuck says quietly. “And they’re both my children.”

                  “And where are your other children? I’ve already taken Michael, the ‘wrong’ Raphael apparently. Who should I take next? Gabriel? Or should I take Helel? He was made for me after all, wasn’t he?” this last question has a vicious tint to it.

                 “You never had Raphael.” Chuck can’t help but smile. “He loves his family and has finally begun to see his own worth.”

                 “You’re not going to beg for me to let him go? For them to stop? Why don’t you just admit it; You don’t care for them any more than you care for me.” Amara’s accusation just rolls off his back.

                  “I care for them all every bit as much as I care for you. I couldn’t let you destroy them, just as I couldn’t destroy you. That didn’t have to happen. If you could have just let me have this one thing, I left you so much to work with.”

                  “So because you didn’t feel like sharing, you throw me away?”

                  “If you hadn’t hurt her, it wouldn’t have happened.” Chuck says quietly, watching unhappily as the Michaels fight. Pashoresa is fighting to kill. Michael is fighting to live. “You don’t even know what you’re destroying. What you’re going to lose.” A few tears start to roll down his cheeks, but he ignores them.

                   “You... brat! I gave you everything! And you turned on me without a second thought.”

                   “You’re lying to yourself. Over and over again I would try to express myself to you. And each and every time you would destroy it before I’d even really begun. How many times Amara? I had to do it and you refused to understand. This was a part of me and I had to let it out. I had to let it out and I couldn’t let you keep crushing it. How can I make you understand that?”

                    “I’m not the one who needs to learn the lesson here, Jehovah!” 

                    “Jehovah? And here I am all this time thinking your name was Dad.” Chuck can’t help but smile as his other children arrive.

                    “It isn’t. and never mind what she’s calling me or what it means.”He chides Bree as they all pile on the Michael’s, a Raphael or a Gabriel taking firm hold of each of Pashoresa’s limbs.

                     “Are you alright?” Raphael asks as Michael gets to his feet and tries to take his counterparts sword.

                     “I’m fine.” He lies, clearly battered and bruised, but Raphael is too busy restraining Pashoresa to help him yet.

                     “She made Helel human. His grace is just gone now, vanished into the ether.” Bree angrily informs Michael who raises his sword.

                      “Michael.” Chuck calls out to his child. “Don’t be too hard on yourself.” Michael tightens his lips at the edict, and simply slices off the left hand as it still holds tightly to the sword, then steps through the veil to remove the tips of Pashoresa’s right set of wings, effectively grounding her as well as putting her off balance. 

                     “That’s incredibly anticlimatic.” Amara comments. this more than anything deflates Pashoresa’s will to fight. The Gabriels and Raphael’s let her go and she sinks to her knees, holding the stump to her chest trying to proccess the situation,

                      “It’s over. Please don’t make me cripple you further.” Michael states firmly as his Raphael comes over to heal his injuries.

                      “Is everything you make as big a disappointment as your eldest? I thought maybe she was worth keeping, but clearly she’s useless.”Amara reaches out a hand to crush the beaten angel with darkness but her brother steps in front of her.

                       “I’m ready.” Chuck states firmly, “Give Helel my love. And my blessing in his new family.” The angels circle the two and manifest their wings as completely as possible, blinding Amara as Chuck makes the seals, a red mark appears on his arm and a matching white one begins to appears on hers. Binding them both together.

                       “NO!” Amara screams but it’s too late. A shield of light  surrounds the brother and sister and bubbles outwards, gently propelling all others who remain from the garden until it’s surrounded completely and then disappears, leaving nothing but desert.

 

                      Mary turns herself on her side and spits the sand out of her mouth. What was that? She’s lucky she didn’t get slammed into any trees. Looking around, all she can see is hot barren desert and shifting dunes not that she’s looking very far.  She just feels so depressingly heavy. She never found him. Was Michael pushed out as well or was he trapped inside with his father and Aunt? Or did the other archangels find him first?

                     “Michael?” She calls out. “Are you here? Are you alright? ” He’s never not come when she called him, but now, no one answers. She failed. She never even got to speak to him again. Did they kill him? Could they? All of them together maybe. Helel is almost a match. Michael was so proud of that. The tears that start to roll down her face evaporates in the dry heat. She should just wait. The wards on her ribs should let Helel or Michael find her fairly quickly. Unless her Michael is dead, which he might be.

                     She should figure out which way to go. But she has no idea where she is or which is the quickest way to civilization. She pulls out her phone just in case there’s a signal, which of course there isn’t. So she just prays to Helel to let her boys know she’s alright and to make sure they’re alright. She needs to get a satelite phone. It’s not the first time she’s been dumped someplace without a signal. Not that she knows how she can afford it. The garage isn’t doing quite that well. There’s nothing for the longest time. Just an overwhelming heat. Has Helel been injured too? Or did he refuse to leave his father’s side. He’d do something like that. At least he’s not using Sam at the moment or he’d be lost too. Oh, how will her Sam deal with that. Helel is everything to him.

                     “Mary?” She’s been in the sun too long. She’s starting to hallucinate Michael saying her name with John’s voice. She is so very hot. So very tired. A hand touches her face, then after a snap of the fingers, she’s lifted slightly from the right cold crisp water is put to her lips. She opens her eyes again and sees John there kneeling before her, bloody, bruised. She can’t feel his hand against her back. “Are you alright? I came as quickly as I could. No, don’t talk, drink first.” he hands her the water skin. She’s too thirsty to protest and drinks as much as she can.

                      “Michael? My Michael?” She clarifies her question, sitting up straighter. He just half crumples down, placing his head in her lap, as she used to coax him to do when he first came from the cage, before she realized it really wasn’t her son who was in there, silent and unmoving. He hasn’t looked so broken since she first met him. She doesn’t know what to say. She can’t tell him it’s alright, because it isn’t. So she just strokes his hair and sings to the angel until the heat starts to exhaust her again. 

                       “I apologize.” He slowly sits back up. “I can no longer fly but I can carry you to some place more temperate.”

                        “Hey, don’t you get all formal with me, mister.” Mary puts a hand to his cheek, making him look at her. “Jesus, it’s hard looking at you like this. Who’s the asshole that put you in my dead husband’s body?”

                        “Amara wanted a fair fight.” He says quietly, “No, she wanted it to hurt us both. It was all about causing Father pain. i thought when I had her seal my heart away that I wouldn’t be fooled again. That i could see things the way they are. I could feel.. I didn’t feel. Until I did. It just keeps breaking…”

                       “Michael, your heart is one of the things I love the most about you. There was nothing wrong with your heart, or loving or feeling. And how can you understand people guided by things you could no longer experience? Why didn’t you come to me? Why didn’t you talk to me. Did you think I wouldn’t listen? That I’d take Helel’s side?”

                       “You always say it right.” he closes his eyes.

                       “Say what right?”

                       “My name. When you talk to me you always say it right, from the moment I told you how it was supposed to be pronounced. I know it’s a little thing, but it always meant so much to me. I wanted you to know that.” He places his hand over hers. What a bastard the darkness was, placing one of her closest friends in a body that could do these things to her. 

                       “Mrs.Winchester.” The other archangels appear around them a respectful distance away. Her Michael quickly stands up, helping her up along with him. She finally sees his left arm and why she couldn’t feel his hand on her back. It’s gone with nothing but a cauterized stump in it’s place.“If you would please go with Raphael back to your children.” The other Michael says sternly. One of the Gabriels looks positively gleeful, which gives her a bad feeling.

                      “No. “She looks him firmly in the eye and draws her blade. “You are not laying another hand on him.”

                      “She tried to raze the world, Mary. And have humanity twisted into whatever it was she wanted them turned into.” A Gabriel points out. That one says it too gently to be the nightingale. But then Bree could speak to Sam so very gently.

                      “Heartless mindless automatons most likely.” The other Gabriel snorts. “She condemned Helel to a slow painful death. You should are about that at least.”

                      “Who are any of you to judge him?” Mary bristles at them.

                      “Who else could?” the other Michael snaps in return. “Pashoresa is twisted, broken and too powerful to continue as she is.I can’t in good conscience  go home and leave you all at her mercy. Not after she has shown herself willing to destroy everything and everyone in existence.”

                      “You say this with the devil at your side. Do you know how many lives she’s ruined, how many civilizations she’s destroyed? All the pain and suffering she caused… What, because she’s willing to fight for her own self interests and oppose a sister she’s always hated, all that is forgiven? She’s not even sorry. She will continue to do all of that over and over again.”

                      “As if Michael has ever even admitted the possibility she was wrong about anything in her life!” Bree retorts.

                      “Michael deserves so much better than this. He deserves better from all of you! Especially Helel. You all broke him, Amara just… buried some of the pieces. And you want to just… No. I will not let you hurt him any more.”          

                      “Mary, we…” The other Raphael starts but a glance from his Michael silences him. “We’re only doing what we have to do.”

                      “I don’t fucking think so.”

                      “Mary.” Her Michael puts his hand on her shoulder. “Let them do what they must.”

                       “No.”

                        “I lost. and you don’t need to protect me from that. I would not have you harmed for my sake.” He gently takes the blade from her hands and hands it to the other Michael who gives it to his Raphael.

                       “We’ll return it to you shortly.” Promises that other Michael, who’s probably never known half the pain and betrayal hers has. He draws his sword and holds his hand out to his brother. His Raphael hands him one of a pair of something glass before going to stand beside the other Raphael behind the nightingale. Mary takes her Michael’s hand and holds it tightly to her chest, and turns so she can look him in the eyes.

                        “It’ll be alright.” Her Michael gives a very Michael smile from her dead husband’s lips and an all too familiar look from her dead husbands eyes. She forces herself not to look away as the other Michael brings his blade to the angel’s throat. She couldn’t be there for John, not even in his last moments. She can at least be there for Michael’s.

                        “I love you, Michael.”

                        “I love you, too.” 

                        “Is there any word from Mom?” The sheriff asks as the last of the angels takes the remaining snow globes back to it’s city. He’s almost as surprised as the other Winchesters are that everything went off as planned. The fallen angels were surrounded by a protective barrier of their siblings in case they went off and a reaper came to take the souls from inside them. Every single one of them has been taken to heaven and imprisoned as Helel requested. “Sam? Mom?” 

                       “No, not yet.” Mule looks out over the desert.

                       “If Raph says he’ll make sure she gets out, he’ll make sure she gets out. You don’t need to worry.” Dean reassures them.

                       “I’m more worried that if she finds Michael first she won’t let them take him.”

                       “I didn’t realize they were that close.” Sam raises an eyebrow at the sheriff’s assessment.

                       “Yeah, it was kind of weird sometimes.” He rubs the back of his neck. “One of the first things he actually did when he was out of the cage was go hunting with her. Mom doesn’t keep partners very long, She doesn’t hunt often enough for that. And she was getting antsy. I didn’t get to come up front for like a week. Man, if it weren’t for Helel covering for me at work, I’d have been in serious trouble.”

                        “He had fun with it. Did a pretty good imitation of you.” Mule grins and crosses his arm.

                        “I’m sure he’s alright.” The sheriff reassures him. Mule just nods.

                        “I wish he had a phone. I should get him a phone.” he starts to pace a little.

                        “Did our Balthazar have a thing for our Cas? Dean asks his brother as he watches the two angels talking a little too far away for his liking.  

                         “Yeah. Almost as obviously as you did.” Sam replies.

                         “I was not that obvious.” Dean protests.

                         “Dean, you were the only one who didn’t know how desperately mind bogglingly in love with each other you two were. Cas doesn’t count because he figure it out way before you did.” Sam preemptively counters his brother’s objection.

                         “What…”Mule frowns a bit as his phone rings, an unknown number displaying on the screen. “Hey.” The smile that lights up the desert, lets them know it’s Helel. “I was just thinking you needed a phone. Are you okay? Where are you?....huh…. no not really. I thought… yeah…. I guess… if… if that’s what you want. But really, I...okay, I love you too. I’ll see you soon, okay? Bye.” He hangs up with a worried expression. “He’s um… he’s helping out one of his brothers with something. Said he needed to think about a few things before he saw me again.” He taps the phone anxiously in his hand.

                       “That doesn’t sound good.” His brother says with a sympathetic look on his face, that’s still a little too preachy for Mule’s liking. 

                       “No, it doesn’t.” Mule says cooly.

                       “Sam!” Gabriel barrels into her husband, knocking him over.

                       “Hey, Babe.” He accepts her kiss with a smile. 

                       “Where is everyone else?” Dean asks as they make out in the sand. “Hey!” He kicks some sand their way, which they ignore. “What the hell happened? Is everything okay? Did you get Psycho Mike?” 

                        “Stop calling him that!” The sheriff snaps. “You don’t understand what he’s been through!”

                        “What I don’t understand is how you can still defend him after he tried to destroy the damn world, but when your brother is majorly traumatized and addicted to the drugs by the devil herself, you just write him off. That’s what I don’t fucking understand. You have a great life Sheriff. But you are a lousy fucking brother.” Dean storms over to his angel before his counterpart can reply. “Cas, we can go now, I think. At least I assume that’s why your sister’s vamping it up right now instead of heading for the hills.”

                        “Does he always talk to people like that?” Balthazar raises an eyebrow, pointing off handedly to Dean. “Because if that Bree is anything like our Bree, he’s either going to die or wish he was dead soon enough. Of course if you do die, I’m calling dibs on Cassie here.”He winks at Dean. Castiel just gives him a stern look. 

                        “Death is not nearly enough to keep us apart.” Castiel informs him.

                        “I guess not.”

                        “Oh, yeah, we can go back.” Gabriel calls. “The other’s are just getting Michael and my evil twin settled. Where’s Helel? Did you send him back already?” GAbriel picks herself up off her husband and  dusts them both off. “Your mom’s helping your angel get settled. She’s kind of mad at us for letting her think we were going to kill him. Of course we had to because he’d definitely never have accepted it if she knew we were just going to remove her grace instead. Bree if throwing a fit because we did the samething to her. More or less.” She grins.

                        “More or less?” Sam asks.

                        “You’ll see. I’m hoping we can get a way back to our thread soon and maybe send Alex back and forth for a little intensive therapy. And why the hell aren’t you with Helel?” Gabriel points accusingly at Mule.

                        “He said he wanted some time alone to think.”  Mule says looking a little depressed.

                        “Oh for, Mule, he’s human and pregnant. When he says he needs  time to think that means ‘hold me and tell me everythings going to be alright and you’ll never leave my side not to actually let him go you, idiot.” She throws her hands up in the air. Mule just stands there frozen, the phone falling from his hands.

                         “Wait… is Helel giving birth to Michael?” The sheriff asks. “Is mom?”

                         “What? Where the hell did that come from?” Dean gives him an odd look.

                         “Remember Anna? Tore out her grace, was reborn as a human girl?” Sam reminds him.

                         “Oh, right. Jesus. Is he?”

                         “No.” Gabriel covers her eyes. One Dean’s worth of stupidity is bad enough, now she has to deal with two of them., father help her. “Aunty thought it would be cute to give the Michael’s matching meat suits and have them fight to the death. Obviuosly we stopped it, but Michael had to cut off her hand and clip half her wings. Honestly, I think our Miqa’s going to need some intensive therapy herself after this.”       

                         “And Amara?” Dean finally asks the important question. “She’s gone, right? That’s what the garden disappearing means, right?”

                         “Yeah, Dad sealed her in the garden and sealed himself in with her. He… he’s going to try and work things out with her, I think. Helel is not going to be happy.  Luci either. Alright boys, back to the Roadhouse.”  She snaps her fingers bringing everyone back to the bar. “C’mon Samshine, let’s go celebrate another apocalypse averted. ‘They vanish together. Castiel and Balthazar arrive a few minute later.

                         “Sam, you okay?” The sheriff asks as his brother is still just standing there, speechless.

                         “H-how… we just…. he can’t be… already? How can… What?” He sits down  on the nearest chair almost missing it. “But… Angel’s can’t… I mean… can they? What?”

                         “Alright, well you think about what you’ve done. I’m going to get my wife and kids and tell them the crisis is averted.” The sheriff walks out, not feeling up to having that conversation. 

                         “To think that I could ever be that much of a heartless son of a bitch.” Dean shakes his head. “Hey,” he walks over to Mule. “Look, he’s going to be alright. Raphael’s here and can take care of him. Gabriel went through it and she’s alive and they have a lovely little holy terror of a daughter so you know… Everything will be okay. We’ll do what we can to help out whle we’re here, okay?” He nudges Mule’s arm. “you’ll be a great dad okay

                          “What do I know about fathers?” Mule feels a little despair. God only knows that his own father is no example.

                           “What are you talking about? You have Bobby don’t you?” Dean asks indignantly. “He was more of a father to us than our dad and we had one. Besides I’m fairly sure Helel will insist on being the father.  So you only have to worry about being a mother, and you had one of those, so.. there you go." The accurate assessment of Helel’s feelings on the subject make Mule smile. 

                            “You think he’s going to keep it?”

                            “Well, if it’s a nephilim, which is probably is, he doesn’t exactly have a choice. Those things can’t die until the mother does, you know, while inside. so, I’d start pickingout baby names.”                


	54. Brotherly Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci takes care of business  
> Harahel stands her ground

             “Motherfucking..mmmm” Luci swallows his curses as he stabs his finger with the needle. “Don’t repeat that.” He admonishes the infant girl with big brown eyes looking up at him from the swing. Not that he’s afraid of her actually repeating it. She’s not talking yet. She’s only just started smiling. She actually figured out pretty quickly how to pray to Shelly who was equally as excited at that. That or Shelly figured out how to listen.

             “Ooo…” Abigail’s coos making Luci smile at her. ” Ooo.” Abigail seems dissatisfied and tightens her little mouth. 

             “It doesn’t have to be perfect, cutie.” He leans over to kiss her tiny cheek. ‘You can call me Lulu if that’s easier. Can you say Lulu? Say Lulu.“ Abigail just smiles a big smile up at her uncle that scrunches up her little nose. “That’s my girl. Okay… who’s this?” He holds up the doll he’s been sewing.“Is it Dada?” Abigail smiles again. “That’s right! It’s Dada!” He ties off the stitch and puts the needle away before and hands the little brown droll in a suit to the baby who promptly tries to eat it’s face. Well that’s why he laminated it. He’d already finished the little Sam and Gabriel dolls for Shelly. But it was harder getting the Raphael doll done just right. He has to wear friggin suits all the time. Of course he pulls it off much better than Crowley.

            “Excuse me?” The librarians back with another problem. “Is this a bad time?”

            “No. I just finished the Raphael doll. Who do you have Abigail? Who’s that? Is that Dada?”

            “uh.” She brings her hand up to her mouth.            

            “Yeah good job! Hi five!” He holds his hand out but the infant just stare at him with that serious expression.

            “Brother?”

            “What?”

            “There’s some disagreement about the garden. I brought copies of the papers.” Harahel hands them to him. Luci looks it over. “Hello, Abigail.”

            “Oh for. If you’re looking for precedent go to the red ledgers for the fifth day the five hundred and fourty nineth entry. Did they make any significant changes to the laws after I was caged?”

            “No, but no one’s tried to take the garden from Joshua before. To be fair it is being used a lot differently than it was, and separating functions by time doesn’t really work with the necessary shift schedules and you know, dissonant chords.”

            “I know, paper, pen?” He holds out his hand. She manifests it for him and waits patiently. “I’m giving you a list of past cases and rulings that deal with changing the function of a place,. transferring leadership and such.”

            “Oh she pooped! Can I change her?” Hara asks as the familiar noise comes. Luci just raises an eyebrow.

             “Knock yourself out. I’m assuming you know the more recent cases.”

             “Well, the usual outcomes were death or um, persuasion, so nothing like this was taken up so high as to need them.” Well, Michael and Raphael were not ones for subtlety, or shades of gray.

              “Anything more interesting going on?”

              “Well, Taniel is having trouble with his administrative duties, and wants to look up some organizational self help books, but that’s not exactly…” Hara shrugs.

               “Amber wings Taniel or bluebells?”

               “Bluebells.”

               “Well, bluebells shouldn’t be doing administrative duties. Bluebells should be training the fledglings in aerial combat. There are several of them who are ready for that.”

               “Afriel is in charge of training the fledglings.”

               “Afriel from which batch?”

               “Fourth. With the sparkly wings.”

               “She’s okay. Taniel’s better. Give me a list of all the angels having trouble in their assignments and I’ll see what I can do, either in tips to help them improve or a better fit for them.”

                “Thank you. Are you eating daddy? Are you eating your daddy? Yes you are, yes you are.” Hara coos making Luci grin.

                “Where’s Alex?”

                “Sleeping. Jeff took Shelly to the park. So mommy crashed, didn’t she? Didn’t she Abigail?” Abigail just gnaws on Daddy’s arm, watching silently.

                 “Just like her Dad.” He shakes his head. “Raph was a quiet fledgling. He looked at things, smiles at Michael all the time. Obviously he wasn’t as helpless as a human infant, but she she’s a very subdued thing. Kind of nice after weeks of Shelly. Alright. That should do it. Here.” Luci hands her the paper.

                  “Thanks again.”

                  “If you’re changing diapers you’re welcome anytime.” Luci stretches and look to the oven. A few minutes left. “No word on the rift?”

                   “No, they’re not making much progress.”

                   “I need one of the nightingale’s feathers Hara.”

                   “I can’t.” She looks down at the baby on the changing pad. “They’re keeping me so busy, so I don’t get much spare time. I kind of half think that’s why they’re having me look up all those things, so I have to go, thank you for your help.”

                    “Yes, well, thank you for asking me. And just so you know. You’re the librarian not their paralegal. Your job is just to show them where to look not to do their research for them. And if you wanted an assistant to allow you more time off, you’re entitled to one. You are teaching the fledglings and doing a class on being and using vessels at the school as well. If you’re so overwhelmed you’re coming to me for help, that’s something you need to address.”

                    “I will. Thank you again.” The angel smiles and takes off. Luci sighs and leans back in the chair. Hopefully his help won’t make things worse for her. He wouldn’t have told her anything at all but she was considering dropping her extra duties and according to Claire and Saul she’s the outright best angel for a vessel to host. Moral high ground only gets you so far and the days of that kind of large scale catastrophe warranting it are over for now. Anyways as it is if they find out she’ll probably just cry and apologize or something and they’ll ease up. It’s doubtful they actually listened to anything she said in regards to policy, though he did give her good advice just in case.

                  “Alright, babycakes.” Luci gets ot her feet and picks up his niece as she starts to make little moaning sounds with her growing that means she’s getting hungry. “Let’s to get you to mommy.” Sure enough she gets a text from Shelly who found the speech to text app a week ago. ‘Abbey gale is hungry.’  “You impatient little thing. I’m bringing you to mommy. Don’t need to fuss to your cousin.” He kisses her little cheek.

                 “She’s hungry?” Alex sits up as Luci brings her daughter to her.

                 “You know it.”

                  “uaahh.” Abigail fusses and drops the doll as she curls up to her mother’s breast.

                  “Thanks, Luci.” 

                  “Have you taken your medicine?”

                  “Yes.”

                  “How are you feeling?”

                  “Alright. tired, but alright.”

                  “I’ve made arrangements with Nick to take you to Abigail’s appointment tomorrow. And Shelly’s going to go visit her big sister or a week, so we’ll have a little break. I mean, I love my little song, but she’s exhausting and I’m exhausted.” Luci plops down on the bed over Alex’s legs.

                   “Well, go relax. I got the kids this afternoon.” Alex pats his back with her free hand. Luci gives a sigh and gets back up again.

                   “You don’t have to tell me twice. Later. Abigail.” He pats her head, eliciting an annoyed grunt from the nursing babe.  She’s getting so big and Raph’s missing all of it. Her first smile, soon she’ll have her first word, or will she start eating first? He’s not sure she’s human not nephilim and he never cared about that before.  

                  The timer goes off fortunately before he can leave and forget about it again.  So he takes it out of the oven, turns it off, puts the timer on to let it set and goes back to his apartment. A group of his siblings are waiting for him. Including Amitiel the angel of truth. This doesn’t exactly look promising. 

                   “Lucifer, we need to speak with you.” Nathan crosses his arms.

                   “Talk to me in a few hours. I’m exhausted.” He walks to his still worried bedroom and closes the door behind him. He’s down and goes to sleep. At least until the intercom buzzes. “Hello?”

                    “Yeah, we have an emergency. My brother’s been attacked by a djinn and I can’t get him to wake up.”

                    “It’ll be right there. The doors open. Go to the first room on the 2nd floor.” Luci gets up and drags himself out of the room. “Hunters in trouble downstairs. Come with me if you like.” He informs the waiting angels and heads out the door thing about his reputation to that they’re too wary of him to try to free him to do anything.

                    “Do you need our help?” Amitiel asks.

                    “If you want.’ He takes a past it from the wall. “Get this and meet me on the second floor.” He hands it to her and heads to the stairs.

                    “What are you doing?” Nathan frowns at his sister.

                    “What you asked me to do and assess Lucifer. “ Amitiel vanishes. 

                    “He kind of seems different.”Zuriel says quietly. “More in tune with himself.”

                    “That’s not necessarily a good thing.” Nathan snaps 

                    “Given he only got more and more cacophonous until he did, I think it is.” Zuriel replies cooly. 

                     “If you’ll excuse me I’m going to go check in on Raphael’s daughter and her mother. She’s been getting better, thankfully. And keeping them safe happy and well cared for is the important thing.” Rye heads to the other apartment.

                     “I’m just worried about Harahel. She’s so easily manipulated.” Nathan shakes his head.

                     “Oh? Have you been successfully manipulating her recently?” Zuriel looks at him with a rather threatening look in his eye.

                     “No, of course not. But she’s not a very strong angel. She needs to be protected especially from something like him.”

                     “I don’t know. She resisted his siren song last time, didn’t she? And apparently killed her closest friend to save heaven’s library. You may not have forgotten her, but I don’t think you’ve ever really known her.”Zuri heads out after Amitiel. Nathan just frowns. Perhaps these three won’t be helpful as he assumed. He didn’t want to do this, but he has to go to Hannah. Something has to be done before Harahel goes too far.

 

                     “You wished to see me?” Hara asks meekly, file in hand as she enters the board room.

                      “Is that the information we requested?” Hannah asks gently. She’s sitting at the head with several other sections heads behind her.

                      “Yes, ma’am. The one’s for the garden at least. I’m still working on things for Taniel.”

                       “That was very fast.”

                       “I had some help. Actually I.. I wanted to ask you about getting some assistance in the library. You’ve been asking more of me than I can do on my own and while I do want to do everything i can, there must be some things that other angels can do just as well. For example the more general aspects of taking care of the library and our siblings’ literary needs, as well as gathering copies of the books are fairly easy to train to someone else. I would really appreciate it.” Hara forces herself to stand up straight, and tries not to let her wings fluff up too much in her anxiety.

                       “You would have much more time if you did not insist on leaving and reentering your vessels each time you return to heaven, as well as escorting them to their desired location and adjusting your schedule to meet theirs.” Someone says, an angel she doesn’t know the name of. She only knows that he likes to read a lot about puppies. “You need to pick a vessel and stay in it. Maintaining so many at once is unseemly and not a little selfish.”

                        “I’m just teaching a vessels how to be vessels, that’s all. I’m not ‘maintaining’ a lot of vessels. I just have two I use regularly.”

                        “Ramiel, we discussed this.’ Hannah looks back to him. He just looks away. “Harahel, who has been helping you?”

                        “I… well, these are all things that haven’t been an issue since before the table and there are just so many volumes. Each day has it’s own section…”

                        “Harahel.” Hannah prods.

                        “I’ve been asking Luci for the relevant ones.” She admits. “He was the one who made the decisions you were asking about so I didn’t see the harm. I did look further, but I always got the complete list.”

                        “And your recommendations? Were they really yours?”

                        “Yes. I did ask him why he made the decision sometimes but not as a basic just because I didn’t understand it. That’s all.”

                         “Harahel, do you understand what you have done wrong in this situation?” Hannah asks her gravely.

                         “Nothing.” Hara replies firmly.

                         “Excuse me?” Hannahs eyes widen.

                         “I haven’t done anything wrong. At all.”

                         “You stand there with your wings all affray and try and claim you think you did nothing wrong.” Another frowns at her. “Why are you so afraid it. You’ve done nothing wrong? Why did you not reveal this to us?”

                          “I’m afraid because I don’t like it when people are angry with me and I know what you think and that you wouldn’t like it. But doing something people don’t like isn’t the same thing as doing something wrong. And I didn’t reveal it because of that.And because no one ever asked me. I didn’t break any laws. I didn’t commit any crimes. I didn’t hurt anybody at all. Luci is on probation and every indication is that he’s still abiding by all the rules, even if it is driving him crazy. I’m not asking him to break parole and he’s not asking me to do anything wrong. I know you don’t trust him, but you don’t exactly need to. He has Michael’s best friend Jeff around for when he’s with Alex and Nathan always has an angel with him when he’s with Shelly.”

         “This is not acceptable, Harahel.” Hannah sighs. “And you knew it would not be, but you did it anyways. Why?” She demands. Hara just looks down at her hands, not saying anything. “Brothers, sisters, I would speak with this angel alone.”

                     “Hannah…”

                     “Now.” Her voice is stern and will brook no arguments. The other angels leave the room. “That was not a rhetorical question, Harahel. I know who you are, what you’ve done, what you’ve refused to do. What could possibly possess you to seek Lucifer out, now, when all the archangels and the Winchesters are gone? What could possibly make you go to him now when you resisted him so long ago. You have so much more than you did then. More friends, more responsibilities, so much more to lose.” 

                      “I know I do.” Harahel says quietly. 

                      “So, why?”

                      “Because he’s all alone now and everyone hates him and mistrusts him and he’s trying so hard. And I know what that’s like. I won’t do bad or dangerous things if he asks me to. I won’t hurt anybody who’s not hurting anybody else, but he’s trying to be a better person and that’s so hard. Now almost everyone who still loves and believes in him is gone and he’s just trying to take care of the ones most important to them until they get back.” Hara explains, though she knows they won’t understand. How could they?

                     “You are a very sweet, very kind, very caring angel. He’s used that against many before.”

                     “I know.”

                     “You truly believe with every inch of your being every note in your song, that what you just said is true.” Hannah looks at the angel firmly, her head still bowed, fingers fidgeting. She probably just wants to believe it. But deep inside, the little librarian has to know she’s being foolish, that Lucifer can’t truly be trusted, not without the others to keep him in check.

                     “Yes. I do.”

                     “Alright. Then I’ll give you a choice, continue on with your duties and do not speak or go near to Lucifer again until the archangels return. Or do as you please and do not return to heaven until the archangel’s return.”

                      “That… who would take care of the library?”

                      “I would allow you to pick whoever you like to train or your replacement.” Hannah smiles. She’s not going to let the little thing use that as an excuse. Harahel must be forced to admit the truth to herself, that just as it was before, Lucifer is not worth the sacrifice he asks of her.

                      “Yes, ma’am. I understand.” Hara nods looking depressed. “I don’t want to put anyone out too much, though. I want Dina and Jophiel, but I do know of a few others that might be good at it. I’ll ask them first and let you know.”


	55. Big Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mule finds Helel  
> The Sheriff has a rough evening.

        “They keep praying to me!” Hara complains looking up to the ceiling. “Why do they keep calling me when they’re not hurt? And why do they keep getting hurt?” The angel has an almost permanent black eye, skinned knees, and had resorted to wearing long sleeved everything and gloves just to hide. The suddenly appearing injuries. It had to be entirely black and layered as hell to hide the little bits of blood.

        “They’re children and they love you because you’re the angel who played with them and took care of them and took all their pain, protecting them. Congratulations, you’re the self assigned guardian angel to hundreds of thousands of children, it would have been millions if the fallen hadn’t been stopped in time.” Helel smiles at the angel. Hara just scowls and brings his book up over his eyes.

        “I just want to go back to my library and read and never think about anyone else ever again. I can’t believe I was so stupid.” After the first initial shock, Helel kind of started to think of Harahel as a particularly cranky and articulate eight year old. “What was I thinking?”

        “You were thinking of them, selflessly and generously as you always did.” Helel gently reminds him, flipping through the books.

        “I was stupid.”

        “Well, that kind of stupidity is what makes life so wonderful. When everyone’s stupid like that we’re all better off for it.” Helel admonishes her. Hara just gives her a look.

         “Don’t patronize me. You always patronize me.” Hara stands up. “Always looking down on me, talking down to me, ignoring me until you needed me. Making it clear that next to you I was nothing. Though I never understood why you wanted the love and adoration of some nothing like me. Or does it just not matter? Either I’m worth enough to make my love worth something, or you’re worth so much less than everyone thinks that the love and mindless adoration of someone so beneath you is somehow enough. So, which is it?”

           “A little of both probably.” Helel replies a bit taken aback. “Hara. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you felt this way.”

           “I didn’t. I adored you and Nathaniel completely. I loved and desperately craved every crumb you threw me. Now, I just don’t. Here. Eat.” Hara gets up and takes a bowl of soup from the microwave. “I have to go to stop someone from using one of my children as a punching bag.” He scowls as a new bruise appears briefly on his cheek,and disappears. Helel looks at the bowl. Cheesy potato soup with oatmeal. Technically everything he needs but he’s honestly rather not eat anymore. It is a break from trying to figure out how to undo that protection spell.

            But more importantly how can he bring his sweet little librarian back? How do you take the darkness from an angel’s heart? Is it possible to save them? Or are all three of his siblings just lost to him forever? If he can’t save them before he gives birth, they might be. Nine months. Nine months left after billions of years, it seems like nothing.

            There’s a knock on the motel door. Probably housekeeping.

             “Hold on.” He gets to his feet, and unlocks the top. When he opens the door, it’s definitely not housekeeping. “Hi.”

             “Is that all you have to say to me? Hi?” Mule demands angrily. 

             “No.”

             “Do you have any idea how long it took to find you? I had to find and use a modified blood sigil. It still put me by the dumpster.” He points to the large bins next to them.

             “I’m sorry. I have the room warded..I” Helel stops, “You used a blood sigil?”

             “Apparently father and child are very close blood relations.” Helel can’t bring himself to say anything to this. 

             “Raphael told you didn’t he?” That little snitch.

             “No, the other Gabriel did. She thought you told me before taking off. Why didn’t you? Why did you just leave? Do you even know how to be human? Are you eating? They said you refused to eat in the other thread. You can’t do that. You have to… you … I’m sorry.” He looks away. “I never mean to… to endanger you this way.”

              “It’s okay, come here.” Helel pulls him into the room and embraces him. “I love you, and if I have to die I’d rather it be in creating life than trying to take it.

              “You might not. The other Gabriel survived.”

              “Yes, well, she had Raphael.” Helel reminds him.

              “So do you. He still has his grace.”

              “Let me rephrase that. She had a Raphael that cared whether she lived or died.” Helel corrects him. “Mule, Samuel, you need to accept this. I can’t…”

               “Just be quiet, will you? And don’t even think of going anywhere without me again for the rest of your damn life understand?”

               “I understand.” Helel smiles. It’s so cute, his Mule’s trying to tell him what to do.  “I need to help my brother and sisters though. You know that right?”

                “I know. but if you’re going to devote this time to them, it’s only fair to let me devote this time to you. Let me… let me be with you, take care of you and the baby and… just… have every moment I can with you.”

                  “Okay.”Helel smiles and lets his Mule kiss him.

 

                  The sheriff looks down at his most difficult foe. He thought he’d be relieved to face something so.. mundane again, but the truth is he’s never really prepared for the massive scope of it. No officer is. Sure the older ones try to say they are, but he knows better now. This is something you never really get used to.

                  “Sheriff Winchester?” Allen knocks on the door.

                  “Yes?” He looks up from his paperwork.

                  “I brought you some coffee. You look… a little tired.”

                  “I am. So, what the hell do you think happened to all these kids? Abducted by Aliens is the leading theory.” He hands his boss the cup which of course splashes and spills onto the pile of already finished paperwork. “Ah, Jesus, I’m so sorry.” Allen hastily grabs some tissues and starts soaking it up.

                   “It’s okay. It never ends anyways.” The Sheriff puts his pen down. “I wonder what would happen if I just burned it all..”

                   “Well, you’d have to redo it and there’d be additional paperwork about the fire.” Allen spreads the damp sheets out on the radiator. “Look, are you okay?”

                   “Not really no. Sam’s ex is back. He’s dating her sister and they’re having a baby and it’s just a hell of a mess right now. And then there’s mom and …” He covers his eyes, not wanting to think too hard about that. 

                   “I’d invite you for a beer, but…”

                   “Yeah.”

                   “Look, go on home. I’ll copy this stuff over and just bring it for you to sigh and read and stuff. Go home, play with the kiddies. Relax. It’ll be okay.”

                   “Yeah, I… think I will.” The sheriff gets up. “Allen, am I a terrible brother?”

                   “Sheriff… Dean, “Allen sits on the edge of the desk. “Your brother.. you did everything you knew how to do for him. And gave him chance after chance… you risked your own career for him,and he repeatedly betrayed your trust. Maybe it’s not his fault, with everything he went through, and that psycho ex of his, but it doesn’t change what he did.  We both know that looking past it all and enabling him and his bad behavior doesn’t fix anything. Maybe you didn’t do everything perfectly. Maybe there was a secret perfect combinations of words and actions that could have gotten through to him, but you didn’t know it. How could you? But you still tried, and only stopped when you absolutely had to. That’s important.”

                     “I put him in jail, Allen.”

                     “Because of theft and assault and a habit he just wasn’t going to quit. And that’s where he finally got help. You had to do it. For everyone else’s sake. And that was a shitty position to put you in. If he doesn’t understand this it doesn’t make what you did wrong. And if you two aren’t as close as you were, that can’t be helped. It wasn’t going to be the same anyways. Your little brother went off to war and a stranger came back. Anyways, you’re allowed to be hurt and angry and upset. You’re human, Dean, despite all evidence to the contrary. Cut yourself a little slack. Now go on, go home and be with people who’ll let you know that more convincingly than I can. I’ve got this.”

                      “Thanks, Allen.”The sheriff stands up and pats his deputy’s shoulder, before retrieving his hat and coat.

                      “Any time. Well, not any time, and I’ll be reminding you of this around the holidays.” 

                       The sheriff just gives a laugh and goes home. Of course the house is empty when he returns home. His mother’s devoting her time to taking care of Michael right now, so the twins are spending their mother’s hunting trips with their other grandparents for now, much to Ellen’s delight.

                        His brother went to war and a stranger came home. That’s the truth, as much as he wishes it weren’t. He doesn’t know Sam, at all. Not that he ever really did.  He was his stuff and never left him alone, until he did. He never tried to understand him, never tried to get to know him. He’s always loved his baby brother sure, because he’s his baby brother. But if the truth is told, he was always just pushing Sam away.

                        Sometimes he wished they could be as close as Michael and Helel, but apparently they didn’t have as perfect a relationship as it seemed. What’s worse is that he understands. What Helel did and why and that what Michael has done is so much worse and yet he can’t bring himself to just dismiss Michael or condemn him like he did Sam.  It’s so much worse than anything Sam did, and yet he wants to excuse him, forgive him and just… get him back, though that’s never going to happen. He knows better than anyone that once you get filled with that much darkness, you’re never going to be the same.

                       Michael was the closest thing he had to a real friend. Someone he could be honest with. Someone he thought he understood. But obviously he doesn’t understand Michael any more than he understands anyone else. He and Jo, they work. They love each other, they don’t ask questions, they don’t want to be asked. They have wonderful children. Not on purpose but it’s nothing they regret.

                       “Do you ever take that thing off or is it like, glued to your skin.” The odd angel they dragged out of hell asks, appearing on the couch drink in hand.

                       “What are you doing here?”

                        “Cassie the sequel asked me to check on you. He thinks his boyfriend was a little too hard on you. So, you depressed? Suicidal? Homicidal? Want to go get wasted, get a lap dance, explore your sexuality?”

                        “No.”

                        “Do you have any fun at all?” Balthazar makes a face. “You’re human, you have options. Food for one… I hear it’s great.”

                        “Forgive me if I don’t take life advice from the Fallen.”

                        “Owch. I’m not a bad guy. I’m just… unlucky in love, that’s all.” He spreads his arms. The sheriff just looks at him. “You don’t believe me? Alright. Story time. Once there was an angel, the bravest most selfless badass handsome angel of them all. Well, you know, ‘angel’ angel. I don’t count the archangels, they’re just a whole other level. They’re to us what we are to you. So anyways, he was just a little guy at first, a fledgling, as were we all. He couldn’t fly for the longest time. One day he was with the angels in the next batch and one of them found a hole. Curious little thing he was he wandered down and down until he came to an open space looking down into the abyss.  Of course the little tyke ended up falling off the edge just as his big brother found him and that flightless angel, he jumped and caught the little one who’s wings didn’t even reach his wrists yet. And he flapped so hard that he not only slowed their fall, but stopped it entirely. After that nothing could take them apart and they both grew and trained together, even went into the same garrison. Big brother became an officer, of course, and little brother got placed in charge of the weapon stores.”

                     “What you mean the blades?”The sheriff raises an eyebrow.

                     “Hah! Those pocket knives? No, I’m talking about the big guns. Plague bringers, natural disasters, hands of god. For the large scale stuff that’s not quite large enough for smiting. Specialized items for wars with pagan gods, monsters, taking the mother of all monsters out. That was a hell of a battle, we were both on the front lines for that one. Unicorns had to be dealt with, vicious things. But then it got quiet and boring and not a little sad. Nothing to do but watch, which only one of them was really content with.

                    “He didn’t stay content for long. Big brother started getting restless and troubled and started disappearing instead of sparring with his devoted little brother on their breaks. He started to argue with their captain, Anael over stupid little things only to be put back in his place. He was finally even given punishment duty cleaning weapons and armor with me. He never showed up to the armory. It wasn’t even a day before word had spread. The bravest, most loving, most loyal angel had joined the nightingale and became one of the Fallen.

                      “His little brother didn’t believe it of course and when his superiors refused to let him try and search for and save his brother he was furious. Didn’t they know him at all? He would never abandon them. Never. He had to be in trouble. So loyal little brother said fuck it and left heaven to go and get him back. Sure he’d be punished, sent to the library to play errand boy for the librarian or something for a few hundred years, but it was worth it. He was worth it.

                      “It took five years, but finally he found his big brother, at the nightingale’s side. When his brother saw him he frowned as if he was angry and soon slipped away to speak to him. The little brother tried to rescue him, but he didn’t need to be rescued. He tried to reason with him but he wouldn’t be reasoned with. He begged and pleaded with him to come home but he wouldn’t. So little brother swore that he would stay with him.Wherever he went, whatever he did until they both went back to heaven together.

                      “Do you know what he said? He said, if I wanted you near me. i wouldn’t have left in the first place. Go home or stay as you like, but you have no place in my new life. Do not come near me again.”

                       “Owch.” The sheriff winces. “He didn’t go?”

                       “No. He stayed and waited and waited. But his brother never spoke to him again, looked his way again or was even alone with him again until the day he died. For a hundred years his devoted little brother, held on just waiting, hoping. Finally, one of the other Fallen picked a fight with him, in front of his big brother, Almost killed him and the angel who once called me his favorite song, didn’t even move.  He understood then and his heart became empty and hollow. Why go back? Victory would have been worth it, but failure? No. I would have died for him, you know but to suddenly know I meant nothing… How could I go back and tell them that? How could I say that out loud? How could I go back to heaven when everything that made it home was just… gone?

                      “My other brothers, the other Fallen, some of them were fucking twisted, sure, but most of them understood. For most of them they felt the same way I did only for one of you little things. They fell for them, loved them, had children with them, though not usually on purpose. And then they got to see those children murdered by us. But they were coping and even happy every now and then it seemed so I let myself try to be happy, too. 

                    “And I was, at least I could pretend I was. I enjoyed myself sure, but then I found out. He had never fallen at all. He was working for Helel to spy on and safeguard the nightingale, thus safeguarding existence, you know. I was such an idiot. But I was an idiot for him. I loved him more than anything. I mean anything. And so when he was exposed and tried to come back for his vessel’s daughter, I told him Raphael had taken her with him and I tried to help him escape. But he just knocked me senseless and pinned my shoulder to the ground with my own blade.

                   “No one helped me until after he was already beaten and crucified for deceiving them. Of he took a lot of them with him but there were too many angels and too many souls.” Balthazar slumps back on the sofa. “I never did end up doing him any good. Never got to repay him. I owed him my life and I never got to make it up to him.

                    “Of course then I mouth off to Michael about not wanting to fuck with humanity or kidnap children and get set on fire, but yeah. Unlucky in love pretty much sums me up.”

                    “I have some ice cream in the fridge if that helps.” The sheriff offers, only half teasing.

                   “Nah, I can’t eat. Everything’s just… it doesn’t meld. I taste every little peice seperately like when you zoom in on someone’s lip until you don’t see lip anymore just cells and things, only with taste. It’s a pain in the ass.”

                   “Not even candy? Bree was constantly eating candy.”

                   “I dunno, pure sugar has a little flavor, but not one I particularly enjoy.” He shrugs. “I like the tang of alcohol and ridiculously hot peppers. I can’t get drunk without drinking an insane amount, usually have to do that with pagans, never ending supply of booze is frequently one of their many talents. There’s almost always a god of getting fucked up.”

                   “I am sorry for your loss.” The sheriff’s sincerity makes the angel smile.

                    “Don’t be. I had a good life for the most part. It’s just this last few millenia that sucked ass. I wasn’t supposed to come here and depress you even more though. Just… there are fallen angels and there are Fallen angels you know. Anything i can do to cheer you up?”

                   “No. Well, you can go check on Sammy. See if he and Helel need anything. Try not to torture or murder any humans or my mother will have to take you out.”

                   “Not my thing.” He holds up his hands. “I’m a lover, not a fucking sadist. But I suppose I could. Now that heaven’s shining star is heaven’s falling star, he can’t be too hard on me for my piccadillos. Or you know, do anything about it since he’s human.” Balthazar stretches. “If there’s any news, I’ll let you know.” He gives a brief salute and disappears.

                    The sheriff just drinks his coffee looking at the fire in the fireplace.  He should go see Michael and his mother. Talk to them, see how they’re doing. But he’s not sure how he could handle seeing them looking at each other the way they did the last time. That other Bree is just as psychotic as this one, keeping his mother so damn young. The phone rings with a strange number. He always answers them as they could be either his mother, his wife, and lately, his brother.

                    “Sheriff Winchester speaking.” 

                    “Did you send a fallen angel to come check up on me?” He hears his brother’s angry voice on the phone.”

                     “Well, hello to you too, Sammy.”

                     ‘My name is Samuel, and Helel and I don’t need you prying into our lives. We don’t need to be monitored or baby sat by our siblings. So butt out and back off. This is our time together and maybe the last we’ll have. There’ll be plenty of time for you to remind me what a failure of a human being I am when he’s dead.” Sam hangs up the phone.

                 The sheriff just look at it for a minute before putting it away and heading up to bed. Maybe things will look different in the morning.


	56. Home Sweet Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our angels come home.

                         “I’m getting kind of used to this.” Mary smiles, stretching her sore arms. She’d forgotten what it was like having a young body, trained and in it’s prime. And with a partner like Michael to spar with it’s even better. He doesn’t hold back at all, or at least only holds back enough that she can’t tell.

                          “You’re a very good fighter. You’re getting faster and stronger, though we should tackle blade work next.” Michael holds out the water bottle of honeyed lemon water. “I do want to apologize again for my inappropriate physical responses. I have no control over them.”

                         “It’s okay. You don’t need to apologize, just.. that’s just something we both politely ignore, okay?” She takes the bottle and looks away a little embarrassed.

                         “I’m not enjoying being male.” He complains, not for the first time.

                         “You’re not enjoying being human. I doubt you’d enjoy being a woman.  There’s a lot of bleeding and I really don’t think you’d handle being on the receiving end of misogyny well.”

                         “My time on earth usually involved a lot of bleeding.” He says cooly, implying with his look that anyone who treated him less than properly would bleed more than he would.

                        “Not your own blood, and not from there. C’mon I’m starved, let’s go eat.” Mary heads back inside.

                        “Have you heard from Helel?” Michael asks quietly.

                        “No. I’ve heard from Sam, though.” Mary opens the fridge door. 

                        There’s nothing to eat. maybe some string cheese from when the grandkids visited, and some apples. Oh, some left over chunks of ham. Those get tossed onto a plate and placed on the table by Michael for them both to munch on. And some multigrain crackers that Dean brought over. Fortunately they’re actually as good as he said they were. That’s one weird thing about the other boys. Their Sam is the health food nut and Their Dean is the one who ate any and everything that came his way. Her Sam wasn’t so bad before he joined the army. Joe at the garage said he heard that’s something that people who’ve experienced starvation or extreme prolongued hunger do. She’s fairly sure that’s true for her Sam. She hates to think that was true for their Dean. At least the other Dean’s fashion sense is better that Mr. Sleeps In His Uniform. He was like that with the boy scouts too. And his team colors for school. Has his father’s taste in music, though. Like her Sam. So different and yet still so very clearly her boys. Mary sighs and nibbles the food with Michael. 

                     “How’re you feeling?”

                     “Too much.” Michael replies.

                     “Good.” She grins much to his annoyance. “I think it’s time to go see them.”

                     “I doubt Helel wants to see me.”

                     “Michael,”  She starts. It’s probably time to tell him. “Are you sitting down?”

                     “You’re looking right at me, Mary.” He replies.

                     “Right. Stay sitting.” She pulls her chair forwards a bit so she’s opposite him. “Michael, if you love your brother and want to reconcile with him, you need to do so fairly quickly.” His face becomes a stone mask at this. “Helel is pregnant. It happened after you banished him, but before he lost his grace.”

                      “Before I took it from him.” Michael corrects her. “He’s pregnant. I assume, since this is a matter of concern that he bears a nephilim, born of his own grace.”

                      “Yes.” Mary takes his hands. He’s too silent too still. The darkness around is heart is cracked in so many places. Every tear he sheds, every feeling he admits to her breaks it further, but there’s still so much of it for him to hide his pain behind. “Talk to me, Michael.” she squeezes them.

                      “I have no right to his forgiveness. No right to seek out anything from him.In truth I have no right to be alive right now. My life was forfeit the minute I joined Amara’s side and planned to raze all I was meant to protect. Why should I….” He can’t finish the sentence.

                     “Because he loves you and you love him and a simple heartfelt apology would mean so much to him. Say your sorry, and tell him you love him, not because you deserve to be loved and forgiven, though you do, but because you think he deserves your love and your regret. Maybe you could find it in your heart to give him your forgiveness as well.” Mary reaches up to caress his cheek as his shoulders slump.

                     “I feel too ashamed.” Michael confesses. “If I even think of what I’ve done, what I’ve tried to do, and not just under Amara’s influence… It’s as if there were an unbearable weight pressing at me from all sides and all I can do is try to hide from it before it buries me. It feels… I feel as if were I to go before him, or any of them, that I would die of it.”

                      “I understand. But you won’t die of shame. And you won’t have to face anyone alone. I promise.” She lifts his chin. “Don’t be afraid to feel. Please we need you to have your passion, your love, your fear, your shame, all of it. We need to be Michael. I need Michael.”

                     “You may have whatever is left of me.” The words make her blush despite herself. “I’m sorry. I’ve made you uncomfortable.”

                     “No, I.. I’m just not used to being so young. That’s all. You’re not doing or saying anything wrong. A little too right maybe.” She smooths his hair back. It’s all messy from their match. “It’s hard for me, that’s all. I’ve been alone a long time and to have one of my closest friends and favorite hunting partner in the body of the man I loved. It’s just… a temptation.”

                    “I’m sorry. I… should have asked for some sort of alteration to make this easier on you. I just… Though it was alright when I was in it, I found myself growing dissatisfied with the fact that my vessel was your son. And even with the indignities of this body and it’s embarrassing involuntary reactions I don’t want to lose the way I feel when I look at you.”

                    “Excuse me.” The other Raphael appears, just before their lips meet, and they quickly move back apart.  “Ash isolated the right frequency to send us home. Gabriel is adjusting a mirror as we speak, Since she insists on the symbolism.” He shakes his head. “I think the Winchesters would appreciate it if you saw them off, Mrs. Winchester.”

                   “Alright. Are you coming with me?” Mary turns to Michael.

                   “No.” He gets to his feet and walks off to the bathroom before she can protest.

                   “I doubt he’d feel like seeing the one who crippled him off with a freindly goodbye. I’ll have Raphael bring you back afterwards.” He puts a hand on her shoulder and brings her to the bar. 

                  The Sams are discussing pregnancy and pre-eclampsia. Helel and the not evil but still annoying Gabriel are hugging each other goodbye. The Deans are of course as freindly towards each other as the Michael’s have been. Raphael and the little monster who was his wife are there as well.

                  Bree is an especially petulant thirteen year old girl, which is amusing in a way. Mortal, young, soon to experience all the joys of womanhood and apparently diabetic as she hadn’t bothered to fix up her vessel any when taking it. They actually decided to enroll her in High school next year to further the humiliation. Which will only be a good idea if someone goes with her to keep her out of trouble.

                  “Mary, you read my mind.” The other Gabriel gets a mischievous smile. “Where’s the daughter of darkness? Back home?”

                  “Don’t you dare play any pranks on him.” She warns the angel.

                  “I wouldn’t dream of it.” She puts her hand to her heart not looking the least sincere. ‘I’ll be right back.” She winks. It doesn’t matter. Whatever she does, Mary will just ask Raphael to undo when she leaves. There’s another sulky petulant looking person in the corner reading a book.

                  “Are you ready?” The other Michael asks the nightingale’s husband, who nods and walks over to the petulant young man.

                  “Harahel?” They stand over him.

                  “Yes?”

                  “We will solve your problem but on one condition.” The other Michael informs her.

                  “What condition?”

                  “You are to stay with Helel, protect him, tend to his needs alert Raphael for any potential distress or sign of trouble. Any request he makes for assistance is to be your top priority, do you understand me?”

                   “Yes, I understand. How long?”

                   “Until he no longer needs you.”

                   “Oh, so less than a year. Alright fair enough.” Hara stands up. “I agree.”

                   “I am agreeing to this because I would rather suffer the pain of thousands of human beings than cater to Helel the way he will need to be cared for. So if you do not live up to your end of the bargain, this burden will be returned to you, and possibly added to.” Raphael looks at him firmly.

                   “Yes, sir.”

                   “Now, go to Mother Winchester’s house and prepare the downstairs bedroom for their arrival.” He taps the angels forehead transferring the spells ot his own person. Harahel disappears.

                    “We’ll work on a way to dispell it on our end.” His counterpart reassures him. The Raphaels embrace each other tightly. “Keep in touch.”

                     “I’ll do my best. Here.” They exchange feathers. “Take care of yourself.”

                     “You as well.”

                    Raphael steps through the mirror first with Michael followed by Dean and Castiel. 

                    “Yeah!” Ash roars toasting Bobby with a large mug of their best draft beer, as they see it work. “Team Harvelle’s for the win!”

                    “To be fair it’s hard to identify and calibrate quantum frequencies when you’re either throwing up, falling asleep, or helping someone read enochian who should be able to read enochian.” Helel gives Mule a mock-reproachful look.

                     “I can read enochian when it’s written in a legible hand.” He replies, kissing Helel’s cheek.

                    “Well, we should go. And don’t worry, you’ll be fine. Just remember that the danger isn’t past just because you gave birth. Let me know what you’re having and try to send me a picture. Okay?” Gabriel returns, “I’m going to have to let Shelly know she has a little sibling in another thread of reality. She’ll get a kick out of that.”

                    “Don’t forget your chicken.” Ellen walks in holding up the cage with the small furious looking red chicken.

                    “Oh, that’s right. I knew we were forgetting something. Yeah, we should probably take him back with us. Hell needs a manageable king and two Crowleys are too much for any dimension.” She takes the cage. “I can’t believe we forgot about Crowley for three months.”

                   “I didn’t.” Sam says flatly and walks through the mirror.

                    “Yeah, Sam doesn’t like him. It’s been real. Peace.” Gabriel goes through, snapping her fingers as she goes.

                    “Oh for God’s sake!” The sheriff exclaims. mary looks over to catch her reflection in the mirror. Fourteen again. There are a few thick manilla folders for each of them that say ‘open in case of emergency’.

                    “That little shit.” She looks down at her body. “I may be reconciled to a second menopause but I am NOT going through puberty again.”

                     “Well,” Ellen grins, leaning on the bar. “We thought it would be best to have you and Michael be the ones keeping an eye on Bree in school. Here Mary Winchester’s obituary. You got drunk and choked to death on a prune. We’ll be having a wake here in a week. I got you a very nice urn for your ashes. Your will, leaving your house and possessions in trust for your cousin Mary Campbell until you turn eighteen, with Dean and Samuel Winchester as the executors of your estate.” She hands them  each a collection of paperwork and an obituary that ran that very day. 

                     “You absolute bastards.”

                     “I thought you said you were going to discuss this with her. Or had.” The sheriff exclaims. Ellen just shrugs.

                     “Well, what’s done is done. Smile, Mary, these are supposed to be the best years of your life.” It takes all of Mary’s restraint not to hurl a weapon at the departing Ellen. Well, at least this way they can keep an eye on the nightingale and when she looks at Michael, the face won’t be quite the same one she was so familiar with. At least for a while. Oh, but poor Michael,if he thought the involuntary reactions of an adult body were bad. Well, he’ll survive.

 

                       The second they step out onto the ruins of the Roadhouse, Michael and Raphael speed back to the shelter. There’s a puppet show going on with little sock puppets on the kitchen island.

                      “I’m going to pluck your wings you little... bit! Look what you did to my hair!” The blue puppet with brown yarn pinned to the top chases a yellow one.

                      “Ahhh! Raphi, save me!” The yellow one flees back to a green and brown sock.

                       “What is this nonsense? What have you done now? Why can’t you be a sensible angel and stop causing so much trouble?” The puppet scolds the yellow sock as it hides behind him. Michael stifles a laugh at Helel’s imitation of Raphael. And Alex’s Gabriel.

                      “Out of the way, you brat! I have a sister to kill!”

                      “Ahhh!”

                      “What did she do?”

                      “Look at my beautiful hair. It’s falling out. She did this!” The blue sock tosses his head until the brown yarn falls off.

                      “Oh noooo!” Shelly laughs covering her face.

                      “Gabrielle, how could you do such a thing to your bravest, most selfless handsomest brother?” The Raphael sock scolds her making the yellow are stop and tilt his heads.

                      “But Raphi, I didn’t do anything to you.” There’s a laugh as the blue and yellow socks vanish due to Luci shoving Alex over behind the island. 

                      “Where did you go? Get back here!” the Raphael sock calls looking around. The blue and yellow socks come back up and start fighting. “Stop it! I am not healing you if you… ow! That’s it!” The Raphael sock leaps into the fray.

                      “Children!” A white sock pops up. ‘Stop this! You’re making too much noise I’m trying to steal honey from the hive and you’re disturbing the bees. If you’re not quiet they’ll sting us all!”

                      “Buzz buzz buzz.”  A little wire mobile of bees pops up. “Grrr.” it shakes manically.

                      “Ahh! Run!” The four socks flee the growling swarm.

                      “Bees! Wait! No!” A black sock with a blue tie pops up. “Don’t sting them; you’ll die! Come back!” it chases after the bees until it too disappears of the edge of the island. 

                      “And they were all stung with a thousand bee stings and died a horrible death.” A sign saying ‘the end’  is held up.

                     “And the moral of this story is be quiet or you’ll be stung to death by a swarm of angry bees.” The yellow sock pops up.

                     “More! More!” Shelly claps, laughing. Abigail lets out a happy screech of her own.

                     “Sorry, Shelly belly. Show’s over.” Luci gets up and takes off the blue and brown socks. Harahel stands up and helps Alex up as well. “Time to get ready for dinner.”

                      “Grrr?” Alex laughs at Hara who blushes.

                      “I don’t know how to buzz angrily.” She says sheepishly. Raphael and michael both burst out laughing at this, no longer able to hold it in, and step out into the open to embrace their lovers.

                      “Oh thank God!” Alex throws her sock covered arms around Raphael’s neck. “I thought…” He doesn’t let her finish and just kisses her, holding her tightly to him. Courage races out of the bedroom and starts jumping at their feet with excited barks.

                     “It’s about damn time, you asshole.” Luci gripes, burying his face in Michael’s neck.

                     “There’s my Shelly girl!” Gabriel crows, appearing to scoop her daughter up.

                     “MOMMY!” Shelly screams, Abigail starts to cry, finally overwhelmed by the commotion.

                     “My little Abigail.” Raphael quickly goes to her, scooping her up as gently as possible. “It’s okay. Daddy’s here.” He gently pats her back and starts to hum to her. He cheats a little, giving her a teeny oxytocin boost as he tries to calm her.

                     “Maybe she’s a little overstimulated.” Alex comes over to them, and shushes Abigail as the others retreat to their own homes with a quiet farewell. “Sorry about the puppet show.”

                     “It was fairly adorable.”He admits. “Alex… I… I have to tell you something.” He rests his cheek against his daughter’s head just to feel her little wispy strands. “The darkness caught my counterpart and myself when we went to rescue one of his angels. I convinced her to let him go and not to kill me, but… I had to.. buy time and distract her so... I…” He can’t finish.

                    “You…” Alex prods gently.

                    “Seduced her.” Her laughter at the statement is a bit insulting.

                    “Wait.” She catches sight of his annoyed and slightly offended expression. “You… Are you okay?”

                    “Yes, I think so. I’m so sorry… I… will you ever forgive me?”

                    “Raph. I shouldn’t have to tell you that seducing someone to keep yourself and others alive isn’t the same as having an affair. I understand. No forgiveness needed. Just thank you for coming home, whatever you had to do I don’t care just so long as you’re here. Luci’s been wonderful but she’s not you. I mean…”

                   “Alex, darling, you don’t need to explain to me why you prefer me to the devil.” He teases. Abigail gives a little noise as she falls asleep on her daddy’s shoulder.

                    “She really was wonderful, Raph. She took care of us. I was a wreck and she did everything. She even learned to cook. She made… look!” Alex bends over to pick up the doll. “She made Abigail a little daddy doll in case you didn’t come back for a while, so she’d know who you were.”

                    “I see he used my best suit to do it.” He says dryly.

                    “And she stuffed it with the scraps so it would smell like you.  And… and she took care of the shelter and arranged rides and doctors appointments and just...everything.” Alex starts to cry a little. “I missed you so much. She just.. she didn’t even try to get her grace back either. Or… Oh, Raphael, I missed you so much.”

                   “I missed you too.” He gives her a kiss. That turns into a longer kiss but as much as he wants to continue it, he doesn’t want to let his daughter go for a single second. He doesn’t want to miss any more of her precious, all too short life. But then again, he doesn’t have to. Raphael gently places his sleeping daughter down in the bassinet and pauses time.

                 “You texted?” Luci opens the door to the apartment. Raphael looks up at his brother and smiles.  “She’s a snuggle bunny.” Luci nods to the baby sleeping on his chest.  “How are you?”

                 “I’m alright. And you?”

                 “Glad to be done with babysitting finally.” He walks over and plops down onto the couch. “The little thing kind of grows on you.”

                 “She’s so big. Three months feels so much longer than it is.” 

                 “Oh, yeah. That reminds me.” Luci takes out a small flash drive. “I set up a bunch of cameras and stuff so you can see what’s been going on with Abigail while you were gone.” He hands it to him.

                  “Thank you.” Raphael smiles at it. “For everything. For taking care of my family.”

                  “No prob. That was a really good idea, having Shelly be Abigail’s guardian angel in training. It was adorable. Though my little songs a bit over confident at times. Like when I decided to take them down to the pool so Alex could rest. i put the car seat down, she zonks out in that thing so I carry it everywhere. And I go to hang up the towels and diaper bag on the hooks. When I turn around, Shelly’s gotten her out of the car seat and is holding her cousin over the water, sitting on the edge and bending over so Abigail’s toes can touch and splash in the water a little. Your daughter is of course grinning ear to ear. but I almost had a heart attack.”

                  “I know the feeling.” Raphael’s a little apprehensive himself at the thought.

                  “But you know, I kept my voices even and firmly instructed her to put Abigail back and the day was saved. “Luci shakes his head. “Oh, you’ll enjoy this one. So I’m out in the park walking Courage and Shelly is there playing with guess who…”

                  “Alice.”

                  “Fucking Alice. So it was free of incident, or so I thought, until we’re heading home and Shelly’s all sulky and scowly. I assumed it was because we left before she was ready, but we get home and she just blurts out ‘why didn’t you tell me you were Santa Clause!’”

                  “What?” Raphael laughs, covering Abigail’s ears.

                  “Apparently Alice’s brilliant mother taught her that Santa is an anagram of Satan, which is true from a purely visual standpoint. But what’s not true is that this is proof that the entire christmas season is all part of my wicked plan to corrupt the souls of the innocent with rampant consumerism greed and covert pagan worship.” Raphael barely manages to encapsule Abigail in silence before he almost dies laughing at this, as Luci shakes his head. 

                  “Where do they come up with these things?” He asks. Luci just shrugs and stands up.

                  “Alright. Michael’s off with Gabriel taking care of a little problem regarding the new management of the library, so I am going to go home and get some sleep and am probably not going to leave my bed for several days unless absolutely necessary. So… I’ll see you later.” He walks out, giving his little brother a wave.

 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yes this is the end, but there will be a 'Where are they now' prologue tying up all the loose ends.


	57. Where Are They Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where are they now segment tying up the loose ends.

      I am burnt out. So I'm ending this series now. But just in case you were wondering about all the things I couldn't address, here's what happens next.

 

MIRRORVERSE

     

Mary Michael and Bree all attended High School for the first time. (Mary was homeschooled) Bree was constantly in trouble for playing practical jokes, though provided no one got injured or killed or scarred for life, she only got in trouble for them at school.

 

Mary and Michael both kept an eye on Bree, being in the same year and at least one of them sharing a class with her. They prevented several disasters and ‘pretended’ to be going steady in order to have a ready made excuse for being around each other all the time backing the other up. 

 

Michael brought the Lawrence Longnecks to the regional football championships as quarterback. Sadly phenomenal leadership can only do so much with lousy players. 

Mary focused on academics and went state in Brazilian jujitsu losing only due to superior physical strength and longer reach of an equally skilled opponent and having to follow tournament rules. She did trounce him thoroughly, but she did so illegally and was disqualified.

 

Helel died giving birth to a healthy baby boy, Ben (Sahar if it was a girl) Mule was devastated but received a surprising amount of comfort and support from his brother, who also helped him stay clean during this trying time. The brothers are now the closest they’ve ever been.

 

Balthazar opened his folder immediately, as he figured being bored constituted a big enough emergency. Inside was the details of the ritual to retrieve everything from the empty and the user manual for the abyss (as made by Gabriel). He successfully gathered everything and completed it himself, allowing Claire to retrieve Castiel, who in turn retrieved Balthazar and after the tearful reunion became a very happy couple. Balthazar’s Abyss was very similar to Gabriel’s but with more strip clubs and seedy motels with heart shaped jacuzzi’s.

 

Harahel dutifully and grumpily took care of a very considerate and loving Helel until the birth. Much to his annoyance Helel named him the child’s guardian angel. Though when Harahel learned he named the child Ben Harahel Winchester, it ended up finally broke the darkness sealing his heart away, and reduced him to an ocean of tears.

 

Nathaniel, much humbled by his own cowardice in not even attempting to save Harahel from Pashoresa, was even further dismayed by Heartless Hara’s utter dismissal of him. In it’s absence he finally appreciated all of Harahel’s good qualities and when Helel died, did his best to be there for Hara.

Raphael ensured that Mule and Helel’s baby reached full term, despite the difficulties in the pregnancy and Helel’s complete inability to take care of himself as a human. But he gave minimal effort to actually keeping Helel alive. It was only for his wife’s sake that he even gave that much effort. When Helel died, he felt so guilty about it he ended up helping Balthazar with his quest and entered the abyss with Michael and Bree to try and bring their brother back.

 

Bree had a very unhappy high school experience. Her husband flat out refused to do his husbandly duties and was rarely around as he had to make sure both heaven and hell ran reasonably smoothly, and had to occaisionally check in on Helel. And while trying to trick and outsmart Mary and Michael in school was a little fun, being thwarted so frequently was not.  Helel’s death broke her as thoroughly as it did Harahel and is generally considered the turning point in her recovery.

 

Helel and Michael avoided each other during most of Helel’s pregnancy despite ending up living in the same house for most of it. They didn’t reconcile until shortly before the birth where Helel made Michael promise that if anything happened to him, she should look out for Bree. The sisters ended up bonding over Helel’s death enough to stop hating each other, though it will be along time before they can really get along without one of their siblings running interference.

 

Claire and Denny remained with Mule helping with baby and preschooler care when they could, and went to high school a few years above the others. They remained fast friends and opened an emergency rest stop bed and breakfast for hunters in nevada with funds gotten from gold given to them both as birthday and christmas gifts from Raphael.

 

The Sheriff managed to deal with his youthened mother falling for his angel (who’s in his father’s body) and was bestman at their wedding with his wife Jo as matron of honor.

 

OUR ‘VERSE

 

Harahel got her library back thanks to a few strong words from Michael and Gabriel but kept the assistants freeing her to spend more time with Krissy, who continued to love her angel passionately and possessively and sate her physical needs with Rhys. Hara doesn’t mind as she has no interest in such things and knows she can trust Rhys to make sure Krissy is okay.

 

Jormungandr, after learning the truth that Baldur killed his mother, eventually swallowed his pride and reconciled with Gabriel, much to her delight. Shelly was not so thrilled.

 

The curse Claire took for Alex and Abigail was never removed, but Hel found a way around it by making Claire a valkyrie and simply having her work ‘part time’. They’re all still looking for a more permanent solution, but she can see her sister and her little niece whenever she wants.

 

Alex and Rapahel finally officially married in a small ceremony as soon as Abigail was big enough to be the flower girl

 

Michael and Luci married in the biggest most lavish ceremony the world had ever seen the month after they returned. Raphael and Alex were best man and matron of honor. Alex was matron of honor both as a gift to Michael and as a snub to Gabriel because she got married without Luci there. Gabriel did not get mad.

 

Michael followed through on his promise to switch bodies for the equally extravagant month long honeymoon. Their return was heralded by Michael attacking Gabriel when Raphael informed his big sister that the body she was in was now pregnant with fraternal twins.  It was eventually figured out that it was not Gabriel who had undone Luci’s sterility, but the nightingale as a prank on Helel for when he was using that body. When Luci refused to switch back for the pregnancy and threatened to abort the fetuses if forced to do so, Michael nearly beat him to a pulp.

 

Death gave his first neice and nephew a belated wedding gift by having the storks deliver the souls of Denny hanlon and Joan d’arc to their daughter and son respectively. Luci grudgingly accepted fatherhood of Denise Sahar and Jean Michele Pivensie and gave Michael back his body when the two were weaned. Michael has still not let the incident go, and refuses to buy Luci either mother’s day or father’s day gifts. They each have their favorites again, but make an effort with the other twin so as not to make the same mistake they did with Raphael and Gabriel.

 

Shelly and Abigail remained very close though both were glad not to have to live together much in the way that Raphael and Gabriel were. They frequently joined forces against the twins and made sure they understood who exactly was in charge (Shelly)

Raphael keeps in contact with Raphael through a hand mirror made with the other angel’s feather, and occasionally visits to provide moral support and encourage his counterpart not to settle for the abusive unhealthy relationship he had with Bree. He hopes the angel can hold out until Bree legitimately changes her ways, at least, though he would prefer him to move on entirely. He has not introduced him to Alex.

 

Gabriel also wishes Bree and Raphael would have a different relationship, but adamantly ships Mule and Helel as well as Mary and Michael. She tried to encourage Mirror-Denny and Mirror-Claire to get together but they just don’t feel that way about each other.

 

Dean and Castiel are happily childless but love to take their neices and nephews every now and then, and return them even happier to be childless.

 

Michael never forgave Castiel for killing Raphael.

 

Luci has a long way to go to make things up to the lesser angels, but it’s getting easier to try.

 

Shelly did not learn to fly for a very long time, having acquired a crippling fear of heights. Michael and Raphael eventually managed to teach her with strategy help from Luci, though Abigail’s faith and encouragement gave her the last bit of courage she needed.

 

OTHER STUFF

 

If there are any other loose ends I didn’t address, feel free to ask and I’ll answer you in the comments.

 

I’m now going to work on finishing I Love Luci, but when I’m done with that I’ll be writing and publishing my own original work, Bite Me, a vampire novel about very beta vampires, and an asexual biromantic young woman with a rare blood type, who after a series of unfortunate events ends up becoming a blood caterer to vampiric special events. It will be part of a series (Damn Vampires) chronicling her life on the periphery of the vampiric society deciding on whether or not to end the masquerade and if so whether to do so as equals trusting that people will continue to do anything for money or to simply enslave the human race.

 

I should be putting up the first chapter after I finish I Love Luci.  If you like my work, please check it out. thank you for reading and if you like my work please recoommend me to others, especially my original stuff. thanks again.


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